Fate Decides Our Future, Volume I
by fananicfan
Summary: In this volume, we move through time from the coin toss in the series finale  2005  as Harm and Mac begin as a couple, wed, and make decisions about how and when to start a family - solving a few cases along the way, ending on February 10, 2007.
1. Chapter 1

This is a series of thirty-six stories that are being posted as chapters, each of which has several parts. It covers Harm and Mac's life beginning with the events surrounding the coin toss and takes us on a journey through the next three and a half years of their lives together. They withstand many trials and tribulations and experience many joys and sorrows along the way. As you read each chapter, think of it as a JAG episode that extends the series.

It took three years to write these stories, and I hope that you find that I've treated the characters that you love with respect as their life runs its course.

When you read this series, I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it, and whether you feel moved enough to leave a review or not, I thank you for reading.

Disclaimer:JAG and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended.

**Fate Decides Our Future, ****Volume I**

**By: fananicfan**

**CHAPTER ONE - THE COIN TOSS**

**PART ONE ****- ****Harm Reflects**

**TUESDAY, MARCH 29, 2005**

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER **

**ARLINGTON, VA**

Harm arrived earlier than usual for his visit with Mattie and was waiting for her to return from physical therapy.

Thankful that he had a few moments to think before Mattie returned, Harm sat alone in Mattie's room, quietly reflecting on today's unexpected news.

Harm knew that he should be elated by the achievement. However, personal concerns stifled his enthusiasm.

Harm had concerns about Mattie, but he'd already filed for custody of her, so he had a plan of action already in motion on that front. No, what weighed heavier on his mind at the moment was that he had no idea what to do about the fact that he and Mac were being transferred to duty stations thousands of miles apart.

As if the past would provide answers, Harm's mind drifted back, not to the beginning but to the point where he believed that his relationship with Mac had begun to unravel. It had been about two years ago when he'd failed to share his suspicions of who the father of Lieutenant Singer's baby was.

Though they'd been in a better place in recent months, once he'd begun to think about that one low point, other events that had served to continue the deterioration of their relationship over the last two years came to him as well.

Harm hadn't been trying to deceive Mac or intentionally keep her in the dark. He'd thought that he was doing the right thing. He'd thought that it was Lt. Singer's right not to disclose the father's identity. Besides, he'd had no proof as to the identity of the father, so Mac's investigation might have been tainted by him relating his speculation to her while she'd been trying to delicately investigate the paternity of Singer's child.

In a cell accused of Singer's murder, Harm had had a lot of time on his hands and had spent a great deal of it thinking. He realized that he'd become too involved in Singer's situation, but, at the time, he'd believed that she was carrying his niece or nephew. Inevitably, Harm's thoughts of how willing he'd been to raise the child as his own led him to think about fatherhood. It wasn't a new thought, just one that always seemed to be for a time in the future.

After he'd been cleared of the charges and released, Harm had realized that he needed to decide if he was ready or just having a knee jerk reaction to his recent situation. He owed it to Mac and their child to be one hundred percent sure. Neither of them had currently been in a relationship, so he'd had time to settle back into life without bars and deliberate on the subject before talking to Mac, but with a year or so left until the deadline of the 'baby deal,' he'd thought that it might be time to start planning.

Harm had been playing his guitar and thinking about Mac when she'd knocked on his door. She'd entered saying that she'd come by to check on him and had begun to remove her coat. He hadn't had time to reach any conclusions about his readiness for fatherhood, but with her here, he'd wondered if he should talk to her about it, even if only in general terms. For instance, did she still want to have a baby with him? When she'd turned to face him, whatever he'd been going to say had been forgotten because seeing her _pregnant _had rocked him.

Harm remembered the scene like it was yesterday.

He'd moved closer to Mac as they'd talked, and when he'd been close enough, he'd splayed his hand over her round belly. He couldn't explain it, but it hadn't felt right. A feeling of relief had washed over him when she'd confirmed that it wasn't real but part of a cover story. A bolt of fear had shot through Harm as she'd told him of the mission that was taking her to Paraguay that night. He'd asked her not to go, but wasn't surprised when she'd left. Mac was a woman of her word, and she'd agreed to go. She'd also had no way of knowing what had weighed on his mind and what a big part of his future he'd thought that she was going to be.

In the days that had followed her visit, Harm had lost count of the number of times that he'd wondered if there had been something that he could have said or done that would have kept her from leaving his apartment that evening.

A few days after Mac's departure, the feeling of fear had returned to Harm, but this time it hadn't come in a bolt. It had come in the form of a nagging feeling of doom. He'd been able to push the feeling aside by day, but at night, he hadn't been able to keep it at bay. When he'd fallen asleep, the nightmares had begun, nightmares of Mac being killed, and he'd awakened and been unable to sleep any more.

When Harm had found out that Mac had missed several check-ins and was missing, he'd thought of nothing but bringing her home. After the admiral had denied him permission to go after her, he'd just blurted out, "Then I quit." In his office, preparing his resignation, he'd finally had to admit it if only to himself. He not only loved her, but he was in love with her.

Harm had realized that he was in love with her, but it wasn't something that had just happened. However, the luxury of time to figure out when he'd fallen in love with her, for how long he'd felt that way or even if he wanted to act on his feelings hadn't been his at the moment. He'd needed to find her and bring her home alive before any of that would be relevant.

Harm had arrived in Paraguay, as they say in the movies, 'in the nick of time,' but seeing her shackled to a table so she could be tortured had made him sick to his stomach. With her lying there defenseless, it had made shooting the man in the room easy, although not pleasant or enjoyable. As he'd removed the shackles from her wrists and ankles, his body had been filled with rage. His rage had been fueled by his anger with her for going, anger with himself for not convincing her not to go, and most of all, anger with Webb for having involved her in that assignment in the first place.

Once they'd made it back to town and to the hotel where Mac and Webb had stayed, while Mac had been bathing, Harm had sat on the bed, his head reeling from recent events: his resignation, his realization of being in love with Mac, his "wedding," seeing Mac on that table, the bloodshed and witnessing her kissing Webb. How could she kiss the man who'd almost gotten her killed? Those thoughts had been with him when he'd entered the bathroom to warn her that they had company. He'd looked at her in the bathtub and hadn't been able to look away because he hadn't been able to believe it…he'd actually forgotten how beautiful she was.

Later that night, a pleasant conversation and near kiss between them had been interrupted by Gunny and Webb's arrival. Webb's remarks about the room being his and Sarah's honeymoon suite had gotten to Harm. After securing a second room for their guests, they'd tried to talk again, but Harm had let the images in his head and his emotions cause him to be evasive or caustic with his answers. Since he hadn't seemed to be able to control his tone with Mac, talking had equaled fighting, so he'd asked to table the conversation. Harm had felt that, if they tabled the talk until they were back in Washington and settled into their routines, cooler heads would prevail and he'd win her forgiveness for words that he'd spoken in anger or jealousy.

She'd changed his thinking and shaken him to the core the night they'd left Paraguay with one word, **"Never."**

When they'd returned to Washington, the admiral had informed him that he was out of the Navy. Without JAG, the Navy or Mac, Harm had been lost. He hadn't really wanted the job with the CIA, but he'd had nothing else, so why not? They'd wanted him, and he'd had no one who'd miss him while he was away.

Harm had heard the rumors around the CIA during his months there that Webb was serious about a woman with whom he'd recently worked. Having witnessed some of the interaction between Mac and Webb himself in Webb's hospital room for example, he'd felt certain that Webb would or had won Mac over. The rumors might have been more speculation than fact, but he'd felt sure that there was more truth to the rumors than he'd wanted.

Mac had called him during his stint with the CIA, and he'd listened to all her messages, but hadn't responded to any of them. He'd feared that speaking to her would spark the anger and jealousy that he'd felt and make matters worse. In what had equated to the blink of an eye to him, he'd gone from wanting a baby with her, to knowing that he loved her, to having nothing. He'd needed time to sort through things before speaking with her.

When Harm had become unemployed again, he'd felt alone and, being in an empty apartment had made him feel not only alone, but lonely, and he'd wanted a family more than ever.

One evening, Mac had brought some files by for him to review - old cases involving Commander Carolyn Imes. Harm hadn't known if it was the sight of Mac or the fact that she hadn't denied a relationship with Webb that had ignited his anger, but either way, he hadn't been very nice to her.

It had been that same night, and Mac had still been at his apartment when Catherine Gale had reappeared in his life. Catherine had mentioned Mac's 'get away from my man look,' but he hadn't acknowledged her comment in any way. Instead, since Mac had failed to comment on the state of her relationship or lack of one with Webb, Harm had assumed that his chance with her was gone.

Harm's life had been a mess, and he'd needed to clear his head. He'd acquired a motorcycle, so he'd set out for the airfield in Blacksburg where he stored Sarah, his vintage plane.

Harm remembered part of his internal dialogue on his ride out there. "Just great! I might have to change the name of my plane if I can't get over her. I named the plane after my grandmother, but with my current heartache over another Sarah ... of course, I usually call one of them Mac. Maybe I can keep my Sarahs separate. Sure I can. That's why I'm having this conversation with myself about it right now."

The motorcycle ride had been freeing to his spirit and had served to lighten his mood. He'd been sure that, after a tune up on his vintage plane, a flight where he could be in control would finish clearing his head. He'd made it to the airfield, but he hadn't taken to the skies in his plane. He'd met a teenage girl named Mattie and taken a job crop dusting.

Having seen Mac, he'd known that he wasn't over her, but it had been apparent that she was over him, and he'd needed to move on. Catherine was an intelligent and attractive woman, and she'd been pregnant. He'd thought that a relationship with her would give him the family that he wanted.

During dinner with Catherine, he'd asked her about them trying a relationship. He should've realized that Catherine wouldn't be so easily charmed into a relationship with him. She was a good attorney and had known that his lack of comment about Mac's look had inferred that there had been unfinished business between them. Catherine had also been aware of what he'd given up to go after Mac in Paraguay.

The memory of that evening caused him to chuckle as he sat waiting for Mattie. He hadn't liked being turned down that night, but now he was glad. The odds that he would have taken guardianship of Mattie or be this close to Mac again would've been slim if Catherine had said yes that evening.

It hadn't been long after Harm's crop dusting job had begun that the chance to return to the Navy had become an option. He'd known that he'd wanted to go back as soon as the option had been mentioned. He hadn't been sure that going back was a good idea, but he'd missed it. He'd also been caught off guard by two things as he'd reviewed his options: he hadn't wanted to leave Mattie and he hadn't been sure that he could face Mac. He'd been a little resistant to believe that a bond had formed so quickly between him and Mattie, but it had happened to him once before - with Mac. He'd decided that he was going back to the Navy, that he'd file a petition to become Mattie's legal guardian and that he was going to face Mac.

Back at JAG Headquarters, Harm had been assigned to Sturgis's old office, the remodeled supply closet, out of sight and away from the action of the bullpen, but there had been an uncertainty in the air. Harriet and Bud had seemed happy to have him back, but had stayed at arm's length. He'd quickly learned that the admiral had warned the staff not to be too helpful or supportive. He'd had to earn his spot at JAG all over again. Sturgis had seemed disturbed and angry, but it hadn't seemed to be anger at him. Mac had been supportive of his return, and they'd established a working relationship with relative ease. However, their friendship had been another story.

After several weeks, he'd settled into a routine. During this transition time, he'd seen Mac around the office and he'd come to realize that the anger that he'd felt towards her wasn't really anger at all, but pain from the loss of the one person whom he'd never wanted to lose. Their friendship had remained strained, but had seemed to get better each day - as long as Webb's name hadn't come up. At the mention of that man's name, he'd become snide. Keeping his feelings in check had been hard, but he'd known that he had to do it to preserve a friendship with Mac or he'd lose her again, and this time for good. So Harm had tried to keep conversations with Mac to business or office related topics, avoiding either of their personal lives in hopes of laying a new foundation for a better, stronger friendship this time around.

It had been Christmastime 2003 when Harm had gone to see Mac for a conversation of a personal nature. He'd wanted her to vouch for him as a family man. He hadn't been surprised that they'd ended up in a fight, but he had been surprised when she'd showed up to testify on his behalf. During her statement, Mac had become emotional when speaking about the kind of man that she'd want to father her child and how he was that kind of man. His chest had tightened at the thought that there still might be a possibility that she'd wanted a child with him. He'd found, though the current state of their relationship had been fragile, that he'd been easily able to envision them with a baby.

That Christmas Eve at The Wall, the possibility of having a baby with her had seemed less likely. She'd spoken to Mattie's father and had brought Mattie to him, but had left for a date with Webb. Oh, how he'd wanted her to stay.

After Mac had dealt with Sadik on her own, she'd been angry all the time. At first, Harm had thought that she was angry with him for not going with her, though she'd been the one to tell him not to go because he'd be a liability. She'd been right. He hadn't recovered completely from the affects of the explosion. Harm had wondered, until she'd been confrontational with the admiral, if she'd been angry with him for being hurt and unable to go with her. However, after witnessing Mac's interaction with others, and especially with the admiral, he'd known that she'd just been angry in general. He'd wanted to help her get through that emotional period, but whether he'd liked it or not, Mac had been involved with someone else. He'd needed to let her relationship with Webb take its course without interference from him. She deserved to be happy and he'd wanted that for her even if that meant that he'd be without her. It hadn't been his place to go to her, but if she'd come to him…that would have been a different story. He'd have welcomed her without hesitation.

The admiral's Dining Out had been held the week of the deadline on their baby deal. With Webb's recent death, Harm had known that it was bad timing, but when the discussion had gone in a direction that had allowed him to bring up the subject, he'd felt that he had to take it. He hadn't known how bad his timing had truly been until she'd confided in him what the doctor had told her and why she'd had a medical procedure earlier in the day. As she'd spoken, he'd been filled with sadness. He'd been feeling the loss of the child that he'd wanted with her. He hadn't been able to imagine how she must have been feeling if he'd been upset by the news. He'd known that she'd needed time to deal with her grief, but he'd wanted her to know that he wanted to be part of her life and that her news really hadn't changed what he wanted with her. It would change only how it happened. It hadn't been the right time to tell her that he loved her, but that's how he'd known for certain that 'how it happened' didn't matter to him.

Harm had researched Mac's condition and the possibilities. The information that he'd gathered had given him hope that it might still be possible for her to conceive or at least carry a child. He'd tried to share the information with her, but she hadn't been ready, and he hadn't wanted to push. She'd said, "Let me come to you." He'd just had to wait.

When Mac had thought that Webb was still alive, he'd been able to see the whirlpool of emotions in her eyes. He'd tried to get her to talk to him about what she'd do if she found out that Webb was alive, but it had been more than she'd been willing to talk about. He'd tried to get her to talk to him after they'd found Webb, but she'd declined the offer. He'd told her that she knew where to find him when she was ready to come to him.

Without Webb in the picture, it had been easier for Harm to talk to Mac, but she hadn't been in a frame of mind to listen, and they'd made no real progress in rebuilding their friendship, let alone in any other area. However, that had changed this past Christmas Eve.

Harm had been on his way out of his office when the phone had rung. He'd considered not answering it since it had been Christmas Eve after all. When the paramedic on the other end had told him of Mac's car accident, his whole body had tensed up. He'd raced to the hospital with his heart in his throat. To say that he'd been relieved when the doctor had told them that she'd be fine had been an understatement.

Harm had spent the night with her at the hospital, and she'd apologized for pushing him away, and that had been a start in the right direction. Maybe it had been her brush with death, the spirit of the season or his affirmation that he'd still be there for her, but something had happened between them that night that had renewed his faith that they were going to bridge the divide that had been between them.

In the weeks that had followed Mac's accident, they'd become more and more relaxed with each other. The old banter had seemed to be returning and things between them had definitely been better in general. The bond between them hadn't been broken - bruised, but not broken. Harm had known that they'd needed to reestablish the closeness that they'd once shared and allow any other relationship to blossom from that.

The rebuilding of their relationship had gone off course with Mattie's accident. Mac had been in San Diego on business when Mattie's accident had occurred. Harm had called her, but she'd been busy, and he'd erected his protective barriers. They'd been firmly in place when she'd returned his call and, with the news on Mattie having been bleak, he hadn't wanted to talk to her.

When Mac had come to the hospital to check on him and Mattie, he'd been glad to see her and grateful for her concern. He'd answered her questions, but he hadn't been able open up to her. When her hand had eased over his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, he'd had to tell her to stop. Her words, "let me know when you need me" had echoed in his head as she'd walked away. He'd wished that she'd understood that he had needed her, but if he'd allowed her in then, he'd feared that she'd walk away when she'd felt that she'd no longer be needed. He'd wanted so much more from her than comfort in a moment of crisis, but would she have believed him if he'd let her in during a crisis? He hadn't had time to speculate at the time. He'd needed to focus on Mattie's needs, and Mac, through no fault of her own making, had been a distraction to that.

Mattie had remained in a coma and, with no signs of waking up, Harm had run out of leave time, so he'd returned to work. He'd been working as the prosecution on a case against the opposing counsel of Bud and Mac. He'd worked up the nerve to go ask Mac to grab some lunch with him, but Mac had said that she and Bud had already ordered in. Mac had asked him to join them, but he hadn't been in the mood to be one of the three musketeers. He'd just wanted to be near Mac. Bud had shown up, and Harm had made an attempt to cover his lunch invitation by saying that he'd only wanted to know if their client was willing to take a deal. Harm had known that at least Mac had sensed something else, but with Bud present, she hadn't called him on it, and Harm hadn't volunteered any information. He'd gone back to his office, hoping that maybe they could have dinner when Mattie was better, and he'd be able to explain his behavior towards her at the hospital then.

Mattie had still been in the coma, and commuting everyday to see her after work had been exhausting to Harm. Mac had caught him asleep in his office and she'd voiced her concern for him. When she'd come in later, she'd thought that he'd been asleep, but he hadn't been, and she'd voiced her concern again. She'd said that he needed to let someone in, even if it wasn't her. Of course, he'd wanted it to be her. Why had it always been that, when an opportunity had arisen to talk to her, the timing had been wrong?

Harm had seen the hurt in her eyes when Mac had said, "When I needed support, you were there, and I pushed you away, so I suppose I deserve this."

Harm's response had been, "I'm not pushing you away, Mac. This isn't about payback." That statement had seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Harm hadn't thought that she'd believed him because he'd been able to see the pain in her eyes as she'd spoken. "Harm, you can't keep going on like this. You have to let someone in. Not me, fine, but someone!" The hurt had still been visible in her eyes when she'd added, "Say hi to Mattie for me."

Harm had been worried, tired and stressed, and that afternoon he'd made a mental note to add crazy to the list because the woman, the woman he'd wanted had wanted to go see Mattie with him, be there for him. She'd been trying to be a friend to him, and he'd told her no. Harm hadn't wanted to ruin the progress that they'd made since Christmas and cause a set back in their renewed friendship. He'd wished that he had a magic wand. He'd make Mattie better and wave it over Mac so that she'd understand his reasons for keeping her at a distance.

Mattie had come out of the coma four weeks ago, and with the fear of Mattie never waking removed from Harm's thoughts, he'd started to relax some. He'd still been commuting daily, and being exhausted was now a way of life. Mattie had regained sensation in her arms within the first few days and, by the end of the first week, she'd been able to scratch her nose. By the end of the second week, she'd begun to have sensation in her legs.

With Mattie's condition improving, Harm had often found that his thoughts on his ride out to Blacksburg had been drifting to Mac more than they had been during Mattie's coma. So, on the second Thursday after Mattie had awakened, he'd asked Mac to ride with him to Blacksburg to visit Mattie and he'd asked her to accompany him on the next two Thursdays as well.

The doctors had been impressed by the amazing progress that Mattie was making and believed that her prognosis was very good, feeling that a 95% recovery was probable, a 98% would be great, but a 100%, though possible, wasn't likely. Only time would tell if Mattie was going to have limitations or how severe her limitations would be, but the doctors did believe that, with time and the right therapy, she'd walk again.

Well on her way to recovery, five days ago, Mattie had been moved to a residential rehabilitation hospital near Arlington. At the residential facility, she had a physical therapist, a counselor for the emotional needs of recovery and a tutor to catch her up on her schoolwork.

With Mattie now in Arlington, Harm was able to work, keep up his daily visits with Mattie and get a few hours of sleep each night, a much easier schedule to maintain for him than that of the past weeks when he'd been making the long drive to and from Blacksburg each day.

After five days at the new hospital, Harm had planned to make that 'explaining to Mac' dinner happen soon, but General Cresswell's bombshell today had changed things.

They had only three days left together in the same country.

Harm had told Mac that they had things to discuss other than staffing issues in her office today, but she hadn't seemed to catch his inference.

Harm was so lost in his thoughts that it took Mattie calling his name three times before he acknowledged that she'd returned to her room.

"Hi. How was therapy?" Harm asked, unaware that Mattie had had to repeat his name three times in order to get his attention.

"It was difficult and painful. So, no different than the last time," Mattie replied, slowly assessing the look on Harm's face.

"They said that it would be that way for a while, but that it would get easier," Harm reminded her.

"Yeah, too bad I can't get someone to substitute for me until I get to the easier part," Mattie responded sarcastically.

Harm started talking about his petition for custody, but Mattie was tired from being at physical therapy, and he was using legal terminology, so she was having a hard time following what he was trying to tell her.

Mattie focused on his face, trying to pay extra attention, but her mind couldn't stay focused on anything other than the look in his eyes. This legal stuff wasn't what had been on his mind when she'd come into the room. Harm had been thinking about something else ... but what? However, it didn't take Mattie long to zero in on what he'd been dwelling on before she'd come back to her room.

She waited for Harm to finish his legal explanation of his petition to the court, but, since she hadn't been listening to most of what he'd said and hadn't understood what she did hear, she replied with, "Okay," before jumping right into the fire by asking, "Have you said goodbye to Mac? Are you going to tell her that you love her?"

His reply was soft and only slightly above a whisper in volume. "No, and I don't know if I can."

"You need to tell her, Harm. She loves you, too, you know."

"She does, huh, and how would you know that? Never mind. I don't want to talk about it right now."

That was the only exchange on the topic between the two of them. Apparently, Harm hadn't been finished explaining the matter of her custody, and the rest of his visit was more legal discussion about the update that he'd submitted to the court, informing them of his change in duty station and his promotion. His promotion meant more pay and less travel, so it should help tilt the scale in his favor. He'd also submitted a request for immediate temporary custody so that they could travel to London together. However, he was honest with her that it was unlikely that temporary custody would be granted and explained the legal reasons why he felt that the court would rule that way.

**Wednesday, March 30, 2005**

Harm went to see Mattie after leaving the office. Though the court hadn't ruled on the issue of permanent custody, Harm's request for immediate temporary custody had been denied.

The court had cited Mattie's medical needs as the primary reason. They'd discussed it yesterday and, though neither one of them liked the decision, both had been prepared for it and understood the court's concerns. Harm tried to reassure Mattie that, even though they weren't leaving together, he'd be only a phone call or an email away until she'd be able to join him.

After leaving the hospital, Harm went to Mac's apartment, hoping for an opening in the conversation to discuss the 'us' topic. He left her apartment having talked about subleasing, about Mattie, about the JAG staff, about the transfer of his caseload and little else.

After leaving Mac's apartment, he thought through the subject of their separation at great length. All those months ago, he'd agreed to let her come to him when she was ready. Even if this was to be the last time that he ever saw her, he hadn't wanted to push her into a conversation that she wasn't ready for, no matter what he wanted. He also knew that he couldn't say goodbye. What was he going to do? What could he do?


	2. Chapter 2

**PART TWO - 24 Hours and Counting  
**

**THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2005  
**

**HARM'S POV**

Harm started this day like many others, with a morning run. After returning from his run, he'd dressed in civilian clothes to go take one last look around the office to make sure that he hadn't forgotten anything before going to see Mattie.

Harm arrived at JAG headquarters and, before he'd even made it to the entrance of the building, he admitted to himself that he hadn't really come to see if he'd left anything behind. He was really here to see if Mac had come into the office today so he could attempt one more shot at having 'the talk'.

He entered the JAG building at exactly 0800. He felt that it was odd that he'd picked that moment to look at his watch because, at exactly this time tomorrow, he'd be on a flight departing for London.

**INSDIE JAG HQ **

Harm moved towards his office and, as had been his habit for the last nine years, he automatically looked towards the office next to his, the one occupied by one Colonel Sarah MacKenzie.

As he got closer to their neighboring offices, he saw that her office door was open. With the blinds up on the glass facing the bullpen, he could see that the room was being illuminated by the sunlight coming through the window overlooking the parking lot.

The well lit office showed that there was no clutter on her desk, a rarity for the colonel. Either she hadn't needed to come in or he'd missed her.

Whether it was so that he could say that he'd come by for a last check of his office or if it was because he had to feel like he hadn't wasted the time making the trip here, Harm entered his old office and made a quick inspection.

He decided that his partner for the last nine years, not counting the times when they'd each been employed elsewhere and the time when he'd occupied the old supply closet after he'd returned to JAG a couple of years ago, had the right idea by leaving her office empty and open, awaiting its new tenant.

When Harm pulled the blinds up on the glass facing the bullpen, Bud saw his mentor in his office, and he stood and began to cross the bullpen.

The two men came face to face outside the door as Harm was exiting.

"Captain Rabb," Bud said with a big smile on his face, leaving Harm to wonder who was more excited about him being promoted, himself or Bud.

Harm couldn't remember it taking time to get use to being addressed by a new rank in the past, but somehow it sounded strange being addressed as Captain. Maybe it wasn't the rank, but the changes that the rank brought with it that made him hesitant to accept his new pay grade.

"Hello, Bud," Harm said in response to Bud's greeting, but his eyes found their way to Mac's door for one last look.

Harm's look in the direction of the colonel's office didn't go unnoticed by Bud, who figured that Harm's visit had more to do with the Marine who'd finished vacating her office only a little while ago.

"If you'd been here ten minutes earlier, you and Colonel MacKenzie would've run into each other," Bud informed Harm.

"Mac was here?" Harm said like a question.

"Yes, sir, she came by to finish cleaning out her office. You couldn't have missed her by more than ten minutes."

"That's why I came by ... one last sweep to make sure that I got everything." Harm commented, trying to cover up how well Bud really knew him.

"I'm sure that you'll see the colonel at the reception this evening."

Harm hadn't fooled Bud, and he shook his head as he patted Bud's shoulder. "I'll see you tonight, Bud."

"Yes, sir," Bud responded before Harm turned to leave the bullpen for the last time.

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER **

**ARLINGTON, VA**

Harm had wished that his plane was leaving later tomorrow so that he could see Mattie again before leaving for London, but he had to be Andrews so early that this was his last chance to see Mattie before his flight.

Harm had come to see Mattie immediately after leaving JAG, but now it was time for him to leave, something that he really didn't want to do. 'He could stay a little longer', he thought, 'if he didn't have to go home to shower and change in order to attend the reception this evening'.

For a brief moment, he considered not going to the party, but that would be rude since he was one of the guests of honor.

Perceptive as to the cause of her, hopefully, guardian being lost in thought, Mattie said, "I know. It's time for you to go," which pulled Harm from his thoughts.

"Yeah, it is that time. I could skip the party and stay here."

Harm's stomach knotted up when Mattie handed him a piece of paper. Her penmanship wasn't up to par yet, but the words were legible. 'Fair winds and following seas.'

"It's what you wrote to me when I was leaving, right?" Mattie asked.

Harm nodded, indicating that she was correct, and inhaled deeply to keep it together.

"Bud, is handling the legal stuff regarding your custody at this end, so there's nothing to worry about. You should be in London with me soon," Harm said before he brought Mattie into a hug and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

"Soon," Mattie whispered as she did her best to return his embrace.

"I have to go, but I'm not leaving you. Understand?" Harm whispered with authority.

Mattie held in her tears and nodded against his chest that she understood.

Harm finally released his hold on Mattie.

As Harm was walking out the door, it was Mattie who got in the last word. "Harm, remember when dads travel, they're suppose to bring presents with them when they come back."

They both laughed.

After the door had closed behind him, Mattie's tears rolled silently down her cheeks, and Harm left the hospital even more determined to get custody.

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm's frocking ceremony was to be held prior to the reception, so he was to be in uniform, while others were given the option of military or civilian attire. Even though Mac was a guest of honor at the reception, she wasn't being promoted, so the general had allowed her the option of attire also.

Harm pulled out his dress mess uniform and checked it over to make sure that everything was just right before he showered and shaved.

Harm hadn't wanted all this hoopla, but General Cresswell had been insistent.

Harm stepped into the shower with the words that General Cresswell had said echoing inside his brain.

"Rabb, this is yours and the colonel's first command. You need to celebrate it like a marriage or the birth of a child because, just like with either of those events, your life is never going to be the same. Remember, Captain, no decision you make from here on affects only you."

**WILLARD HOTEL**

The reception with a buffet dinner immediately followed the frocking ceremony, and the two guests of honor were present. Though Mac's command position hadn't come with a promotion, Harm was sure her advancement wasn't far off in the future.

Harm and Mac were good at mingling with the crowd, and with a variety of people in attendance from the JAG staff to local politicians, they were already beginning a network of contacts that might prove useful in their new positions.

Even if Harm's back was turned, he could feel Mac's energy in the room. When she was close enough for him to establish a visual of her, he'd turn to look at her.

Harm had always found her attractive, but tonight, he was etching every detail of her into his mind so that he'd be able to conjure up a vision of her in the future by just closing his eyes.

Mac had opted for civilian attire, and the way her red dress clung to her curves and the slit exposed her leg as she walked, he'd need a cold shower by the end of the night.

Once while shaking hands with someone after being introduced, Harm caught himself daydreaming about her, and he didn't have a clue what the man had just said to him.

Harm was daydreaming about her again when a flash of leg caught his eye. He'd been checking that leg out often tonight and knew that it belonged to Mac and that she was heading his way.

When Mac got close enough, she extended her hand. "Congratulations, Captain."

He didn't hesitate to reach for her hand like he'd done the first time they'd met.

"Thank you, and congratulations to you as well, Colonel, though I must say you don't look very military in that dress."

"Thank you, for both the congratulations and the compliment. Should I be wishing you good luck or should I save it for your staff?" Mac asked, not trying to stifle her giggle at teasing him one last time.

The sound of her gentle laugh sounded like music to Harm's ears, and an involuntary smiled appeared on his face. He was going to miss her teasing him.

"Good luck to you as well," Harm replied, not wanting to engage in even playful banter on what was more than likely the last time that he'd ever see her.

Harm noticed that Mac looked like she was going to cry. He wondered if it had finally dawned on her that this was going to be the final time that they saw each other.

"It's going to be strange not to see that smile of yours," Mac said quietly.

Harm hoped that she wouldn't actually shed a tear. He wouldn't be able to handle seeing her cry.

"I could say the same thing about yours," Harm remarked.

His comment was rewarded by a soft smile gracing her face.

"Send me an e-mail once in awhile. You know, let me know what's going on in your life," Mac requested, her eyes glistening from the moisture of unshed tears filling her eyes.

"I'll do that if you'll keep me up on your life, too. You know…let me know when you get that full bird," Harm replied, not sure how much longer he could keep his eyes dry.

"If I'm ever in London, I'll call," Mac said. She was running out of things to say, but she didn't want this last time that she was going to see him end too quickly.

"You'd better," Harm responded.

With butterflies in his stomach like a teenage boy trying to ask the most popular girl in school out on a date and unable to look her in the eye, Harm went on to say, "The next time I go out to visit my mom, I'll call. Maybe we could go to lunch," he suggested.

Mac didn't detect his uneasiness, mostly because the grip that she had on her own emotions was starting to give way.

"You can call anytime," Mac got out before their eyes met.

Their reestablished eye contact turned into an intense gaze.

Both knew that it was time to say goodbye, but neither of them could say it.

The star-crossed gaze was broken by General Cresswell's voice. "Captain Rabb, I've been looking for you. I have someone who'd like to meet you."

Harm and Mac nodded at each other in understanding that duty called.

Secretly, both were relieved that their conversation had been interrupted so they didn't have to say goodbye.

The presence of General Cresswell put Mac's Marine personna back in charge.

"I didn't mean to keep you. I just wanted to wish you luck and tell you to take care of yourself," Mac told Harm in a firm voice.

"Thank you, and the same to you," Harm responded before turning to follow General Cresswell.

A few moments later, Harm was standing in front of Senator Emily Proxmeyer.

After being introduced to the Senator by General Cresswell, the three of them engaged in a polite round of small talk that lasted less than ten minutes before the Senator's aide approached, reminding her of another engagement that she had to attend this evening.

After the Senator had said her good nights, she turned to leave with her aide at her side. As the two men watched her walk away, the general inquired, "So, Captain Rabb, are you finished packing yet?"

"I still have a few things left, General," Harm replied.

"Then may I make a suggestion that you make one last round through the attendees to say your goodbyes and get out of here so that you can finish up?"

Harm spent the next ten minutes roaming through the crowd before he saw Bud.

Harm approached Bud, but made no attempt to cover his true intent this time.

"Bud, have you seen Mac?"

"She left, sir," Bud said before glancing at his watch. "I'd say the colonel left more than thirty minutes ago, sir."

Harm wished that Bud had Mac's sense of time because he'd been talking to Mac less than thirty minutes ago. He concluded that she must have left right after they'd spoken.

With Mac gone, it was time for him to leave as well. He had nothing else to accomplish here.

Harm had been told that it would be better to store a classic car like his for overseas duty than to take it with him, so he made his way to the military car that he'd been using since putting his 'Vette in storage.

Harm's thoughts during the drive to his apartment were about Mac. Had she left after their talk because she hadn't wanted to say goodbye either or was the good luck line still the equivalent of goodbye for them? Should he go by her apartment?

Remembering the pain of finding out the true fate of his father made him think twice about wanting to know the whole truth this time. If he found out that it was really goodbye, could he handle it? If he went to London uncertain, would the possibility that Mac would someday appear at his door keep him from moving forward?

The memory of the night that he'd been having dinner with Professor Alicia Montes probably held the answer to the last question.

********** **

Alicia hadn't been at his apartment long when there had been a knock on the door. Harm had opened the door to see a tired yet beautiful looking Mac. Though Mac had left his apartment when he'd stepped away from the door to check on dinner without even stepping foot in his place, he hadn't been able get his mind off why she'd come to see him and back onto his date with Alicia.

Alicia had picked up on his distraction and asked, "How long has it been over between the two of you?

"You don't start something that you know won't work." Harm had paused long enough to flash Alicia one of his trademark flyboy smiles. "It saves you from a messy break up."

"So, the two of you have never been an item ... never dated?" Alicia asked in disbelief.

"No, we haven't," Harm answered before changing the subject.

They'd finished dinner, keeping the conversation to the normal 'getting to know you' topics like favorite movies and songs.

Alicia had hoped that the evening would end differently, but though her date had been exchanging words with her in polite conversation, she hadn't had his attention.

When she'd been at the door saying her good nights, she'd kissed him on the cheek. "You'd better call her to see what she wanted or you might not get any sleep."

Harm's facial expression had resembled that of small boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar as he'd replied, "I'm sure that whatever she wanted will keep until morning."

Alicia had left his apartment, and the word that he'd use to express how he felt about that would be relieved. It had taken too much of his energy to keep up the facade of not being more curious about what Mac had wanted than where Alicia had spent her summers as a child.

With Alicia gone, Harm had been cleaning up and thinking, but not about how his date had gone. He'd thought about Mac. What had she come to talk about? What if having dinner with someone whom he'd found interesting and attractive had cost him the woman who he knew that he was in love with? He cautioned himself not to overreact.

Harm had tried to call Mac, but he'd gotten no answer at either her home or on her cell phone. He hadn't known what to say, so he'd left no messages. He'd decided to talk to her at the office the next day.

Mac had left the office early the next day, and he hadn't had a chance to speak to her.

The following day, Harm had seen her and asked why she'd come by. She'd said that she'd been out driving around and thought that she'd stop by to talk, but there hadn't been a particular subject on her mind, and she'd apologized for interrupting his evening. He'd known that she hadn't been telling him the complete truth. He still wasn't sure why she'd come by, but the moment was gone now, and whatever it had been, she hadn't been ready to talk about it.

It was around that same time that he'd started being sent out of town more. He'd been sent to California and then Florida. When he had been in town, he'd spent time with Mattie. So, there hadn't been time for him to have a social life.

He hadn't called Alicia, and she hadn't called him, and any potential relationship with Alicia had simply faded away.

*************

The realization that he'd been waiting for Mac to come by his place again to talk since that night came to him from out of his reflections. She hadn't come by yet, and he was alone and still waiting, so the answer to the last question that he'd asked himself was: Yes, not resolving the 'us' factor would probably keep him a single man for the rest of his life.

As Harm pulled up in front of his building, the evening of Mac and Mic's engagement party passed through his mind, causing the corners of his mouth to begin forming a smile as he remembered their kiss.

They'd been saying goodbye to each other that night. That's what he should have done tonight, kissed her like that again.

Harm shook the thought from his head. He'd told Mac that he wouldn't pressure her, that she could take her time. He'd told her to come to him when she was ready.

If she'd been ready that night months ago, he'd messed that up by having Alicia at his apartment.

As he got out of the car, he'd come up with a new philosophy.

"If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If it isn't meant to be, I'll know when the right woman comes along and I'll have no doubts."

He continued to repeat those words to himself over and over again as he entered his building to go up to his apartment to pack his remaining belongings.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE - If It's Meant to be, It'll Happen  
**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

**Harm **I'm packing the last of my things. The debate inside me over going to see Mac one last time or using the 6,000 miles to get over her is still raging inside me. Of course, my feelings haven't waned over the years, which included the months when I returned to a fighter squadron with minimal contact and my months in the CIA without any contact with her at all.

**Mac **I'm in the elevator of his building. Why am I here? We haven't been able to have this talk in nine years, she chastises herself. Why would tonight be any different? What am I hoping will come of this meeting? Can I say goodbye? I'm standing in his doorway and he hasn't seen me yet. He seems to be a million miles away from the task of taping that box closed. I wonder what he's thinking.

**H** I'm silently repeating my new mantra: if it's meant to be, it'll happen. If it isn't meant to be, I'll know when the right woman comes along and I'll have no doubts. I look up after taping a box closed to see Mac standing in the doorway. I'm surprised to see her and a simple "Hey" is all I can get out in greeting. Her reply of "Hey yourself" doesn't give me much of a clue as to why she's come.

**M** I want to make it clear that we can't table the 'us' discussion any longer, but I want to try to be subtle, so I inch the conversation forward. "There's something so final about a packed suitcase."

**H** If I'm going to find out what's on her mind, I need to play along. This chitchat about suitcases is a stall. Something's on her mind. I'd better say something. "Yeah, not to mention an entirely packed apartment. How about you? You packed?"

**M **"Not completely." He keeps moving. He's across the room with another box. I need to get his attention. I need to just say it. I inhale deeply to gather my courage. "Let's talk about you and me."

**H **I take in a deep breath. Does she want me to say goodbye, because I can't. "Mac, neither one of us -"

**M **"- Wants to be the first to say goodbye. Yeah, I know the song. We've been singing it for years." Doesn't he know how frustrating it is when he won't just answer me directly? I say let's talk about you and me, and he doesn't say yes, no or even okay.

**H** She's got that right. I can't say goodbye, but does she know why? "Mac, I don't think that I'll ever feel about anyone else the way that I feel about you."

**M** I'm stunned by his words and need to catch my breath. Does he know how that sounded? I'm sure that he didn't mean it like that. "That's very flattering. Once piece of advice – don't share that with your wife, whoever she might be. She might not understand."

**H** How dumb does she think I am? I wouldn't tell another woman that because she'd understand just fine…understand that she was my second choice. I have a box in my hand and I want to throw it out of frustration. I'm about to pass by her with the box. I'll see if I can clarify. "Do you understand?"

**M** "Why we can't make it work? Why we let fate decide our futures? No, I don't." Even I can hear the emotion in my voice.

**H** I understand her frustration, but doesn't she realize that fate brought her here tonight? My nerves are frayed, so I need to keep moving. What is it in particular that I need to do or say for her to understand? "Let me ask you a personal question." She gives no objection, so I continue. "Of all the men in your life, what was it about them that attracted you?"

**M** He's moving around like he's nervous and can't stay still. There's something on his mind. I'll have to answer him if I'm going to find out what it is. I need to keep the answer simple so that I don't have to face a cross-examination over my answer. "Well, they wanted me and they let me know it."

**H **I'm taken aback by her answer. They wanted her? Then what about me? I put down the box in my hands and turn towards her. I want to see her face. "I wanted you. You knew that."

**M** He comes towards me and sits on the stool next to me. I can't decide if it's the look on his face or the intensity of his eyes that have me suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. I came here to talk, so I need to follow through. "Harm, no woman wants to be a mind reader, and with you, there're always complications…" I take in a deep breath …"another woman, work, searching for your father -"

**H** "That's all past."

**M** "Is it?"

**H** I take her hand in mine and look into her eyes. "Mac, we have twelve hours."

**M** I tilt my head down to look at my hand in his, and then I regain eye contact. "We've had nine years."

**H** I'm looking into her eyes and I'm lost. I can't seem to think, and it shows. "Well, I guess, maybe I just needed a deadline." What kind of answer was that? I chide myself.

**M** "Well, you've got one, sailor."

**H** I do have a deadline, so it's time to stop talking. I start moving towards her for a kiss, hoping that she'll respond. I close my eyes as our lips make contact. I feel her fingers touch my face and I move my hand to her back in response.

**M** I don't know what I expected when I came here, but this kiss is certainly nice. My hands are on either side of his face, hoping to hold him in the kiss if only for a few seconds longer. His hand is on my back. I can feel the warmth from it through my top. I need to try to keep my wits about me. I don't know what this means for us and I haven't got time to speculate. I break the kiss. "What are you proposing?" My mind quickly decides that using the word 'proposing' probably wasn't the best choice, so I try to cover. "And that's not a Freudian slip."

**H** I inhale and sit up a little straighter. My voice is low and I'm out of breath. "I'm proposing. Let's get married." Her lips immediately meet mine again.

**M** I must have fallen asleep and I'm dreaming because this is too good. He said "let's get married" and now we're kissing.

**H** I can't believe that I just blurted out "let's get married." I really need to think before I speak, but being this close and kissing her feels so good that I'm not able to think. She's breaking the kiss again. "In London?" she asks this time. She's messing with the buttons of my shirt, and my brain wasn't functioning in the first place. Why does Mac have to be different? Couldn't she just say yes? Or is she letting me know that a condition of saying yes is the location? I shouldn't be trying to think, just respond. "Yeah, London works for me."

**M** I listen for his response, but I'm distracted momentarily by the appearance of a t-shirt under the shirt that I've been unbuttoning. I quickly deduce that he must have just left it on when he changed after the reception and I respond to his reply, not having let enough time elapse that he'd find anything strange in my behavior. "San Diego works for me." My body slumps in reaction to what my mind has processed. The last few minutes have been wonderful, but they aren't going to last.

**H** I see her body slump in a sign of defeat. If I'd thought that saying goodbye was impossible before, it'll be at least twenty times harder that now that she's been my 'girl' for even these few minutes. I need to say something. "This has always been the five-hundred pound gorilla in the room." Where did that come from? My brain really needs to kick into gear and give me a plan before she slips away from me.

**M** We were so close, but he's slipping away. I'm sad, but I don't want to cry. However, I feel tears forming. "If we get married, one of us has to give up their Navy careers."

**H** She looks like she's going to cry and, to lighten the mood, I joke, "Well, we could wait until I retire." Where's the plan o'brain of mine? We're so close. It can't end like this.

**M **This is no time to joke, but if we don't joke, I'll cry, so why not? "Yeah, what's another decade or so, huh?" The last couple of buttons on his shirt don't seem to be buttoned. I could have him out of this shirt in no time.

**H** Well, I got her to smile, though it didn't last. She's looking at me. I'm not sure that my brain approves of what my mouth is saying, but it comes out anyway. "I love you, Mac..." She lets out a sigh. "...but I don't want to give up my Navy career and you don't want to give up the Marine Corps."

**M** "So we're right back where we started?" I can't look at him or I'm going to cry. This can't be the end, not like this. We were so close.

**H** Fate brought her here, and she needs to know that there's a way for this to work out. "Do you believe in fate?"

**M** "Well, it put us together, sort of."

**H** "Fate could keep us together forever." My lips move towards hers, and her arms wrap around my neck. In turn, I wrap my arms around her. Her tongue glides across my lower lip as if to ask permission to enter, and I grant it eagerly. Our tongues begin to tangle with each other for the first time. I must be in some kind of alternate universe because this is too wonderful to be real. The need for air causes us to break the kiss. In a breathless voice I ask, "Don't you think we should work out a few details?"

**M** I begin tugging at his shirt. "We can talk later." As the shirt leaves his shoulders, I wonder if this is real. Oh, if this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. When I have his t-shirt stretched across his chest just under his arms, he grabs onto it and removes it himself. With his chest visible, my hand flattens against his toned muscles. The feel of his skin under my hand is stirring my long simmering desire for him. "I think we should go someplace more comfortable or at least close the door, don't you think?"

**H** With that first kiss, I'd forgotten about the open door. I cross the room in short order to close and lock the door. I turn to return to her, and she meets me halfway, our arms going around each other and drawing the other in. The fabric of her top against me serves as a barrier to our skin touching. My hand breaches the hem of her top, allowing it to have direct contact with the skin on her back while I give her a tender kiss. The kiss wasn't long, and once our lips have parted, I ease her top up slowly, giving her the opportunity to stop me, but she offers no resistance, and her shirt is soon on the floor. I wrap my arms around her and pull her in close. With our skin touching, I hold onto her, content in the moment.

**M** When our skin makes contact, it takes a moment for me to catch my breath. The physical closeness is making me feel lightheaded. I lean into him and enjoy the warmth of his skin against mine for a few moments before I decide that, though standing here is nice, we don't have a lot of time. I reach for his hand and begin to move towards the bedroom.

**H **My hand is in hers, and she tugs gently, wanting me to follow her. I hesitate because we have decisions to make. I don't want her to think that I'm not interested in what she's proposing, because I most certainly am, but I want so much more than an intimate encounter with her.

**M** I stop and turn, pressing my body against his, waiting for why he's reluctant.

**H** "We need to make some decisions and we don't have a lot of time." I feel the heat of her body lift off my chest, and she resumes the journey to the bedroom.

**M** I'm walking as I reply. "If we run out of time, we'll decide by flipping a coin."

**H** As we approach the stairs, a thought strikes me. Who's going to be on top? Of course, that would apply to the situation literally, because I have no doubt about who's in control at the moment.

**M** At the edge of the bed, we embrace each other and kiss passionately. As we kiss, I push him back until the back of his knees make contact with the edge of the bed. I pull away and motion for him to sit. He sits on the edge of the bed. I don't want to seem too forward, but we have little time. Since he's said the words, I want him to know that I feel that the actions are long overdue. No woman wants to be a mind reader and no woman needs nine years of foreplay. I focus my eyes on him as I slip out of my shoes and unzip my slacks. I study him watching me while I slide my slacks off my hips and down my legs until I can simply step out of them.

**H** Without ever taking my eyes off her, I've managed to toe off my shoes and remove my socks. I watch her in awe as she undresses. I realize that I'm staring at her like I've never seen a woman in her bra and panties before, yet I can't take my eyes off of her. I gaze in wonder at the beauty of the woman in front of me. I watch as her breasts rise and fall with her breathing. I want to touch, hold and love her, but I don't want to rush. I don't want either of us to look back on tonight with even a moment of regret.

**M** He's just looking at me. He hasn't moved or said anything. I can't take the silence. I'm a little confused and I wonder if I should cover myself. "Is something wrong?"

**H** I bring my hands up to rest one on each hip. "You're even more beautiful than I imagined." I pull her towards me, and we fall back onto the bed, our lips meeting as we fall. Her scantily covered body lying on top of me is sending electricity through me. My hands roam over her exposed skin as we kiss. My palms move up her body until they come to rest on the sides of her breasts, and I can feel the heat radiating off them even through her bra.

**M** Our kisses become more passionate with a sense of hunger and urgency to them. His palms are resting against the sides of my breasts, and they're becoming hotter in anticipation of his direct touch. I push against his chest, bringing my upper body off his as I straddle him just above the waist.

**H **My hands grasp her at the hips. I watch her slowly pull one bra strap off her shoulder and then the other without giving me the slightest glimpse of what's to come. She places one arm across her chest, and the other goes behind her back.

**M** I've reached around and unhooked my bra. The arm that I've strategically placed across myself is holding my bra in place. I look down into his eyes before allowing my arm to drop. The bra falls onto his chest.

**H** I stare at her ample breasts while I brush her bra off my chest towards the floor. At first, I use my fingertips to move over the newly exposed flesh. I cup each breast tenderly before caressing it. Her breasts are firm, yet soft. I lift my back off the bed enough to meet her as I pull her towards me and begin to place kisses in the valley between her breasts. I roll her onto her back. Lying beside her, I first kiss her lips and then along her jaw line and back to her ear. I nibble at her earlobe before continuing. As I kiss my way down her neck, my hand begins to gently message a breast.

**M **He's placing kisses along the side of my breast and is working in towards the nipple. His lips are cool to the heat of my breasts, and when he places the first kiss on my hardened nipple, the volcano of desire within me gives off its first display of the eruption to come. My body arches, pushing my breasts closer to his lips. When his tongue swirls around my nipple, I can't stop the low moan that escapes from my lips.

**H** My feeling of pleasure is becoming uncomfortable. My pants are too tight. The desire to be with her is becoming a need. I roll onto my back to free myself from my pants.

**M** With him on his back, I begin a similar pattern to the one that he used on me. I kiss his lips before following his jaw line back to his ear. After taking a moment to nibble on his earlobe, I kiss down his neck. I kiss down his breastbone and manage to give him some relief by unfastening his pants. I kiss down his chest to his bellybutton before stopping to assist him in getting out of his jeans.

**H** She's kissing her way up from my bellybutton, and now that I'm free of my pants, her body brushing against me is making my need stronger. She's worked back up to my lips and, when our lips meet, my hands run down the length of her body, and I caress her six. The caress of her six, even through her silk panties, adds to my delight and longing. I roll so that her back is again on the bed. I kiss one breast and then the other. I kiss down between her breasts until I reach the edge of her panties. I kiss along the top edge of her panties from side to side before tucking an index finger into each side and sliding them down her legs. I'm up on my knees at her feet, and before me is a completely nude Sarah MacKenzie. She's the most exquisite woman who I've ever seen, and I can't help but pause to look at her. I'm startled when she sits up, and even more so when her fingers hook onto my boxers and pulls them down to the bend in my knees.

**M** He's begun to kiss his way back up from my bellybutton. He's stopped at my breasts to give each one a few more kisses before continuing. I feel his body shudder under my touch, so I continue to run my fingers up and down his back.

**H** My underwear is distractingly about my knees, and my leg movements have moved them down some, but not enough. I've kept my weight off of her thus far, so I opt to move to her side to remove my underwear. I roll onto my back, shifting my legs enough to lower the underwear down some more, and she sits up and finishes removing the unwanted garment for me and tosses them to the floor. With no remaining clothing left on us, she eases her body up along mine. With her body resting beside me, I think, 'this is where this gets complicated.' Do I assume that I'll be on top and risk upsetting her or do I try to keep from exploding while I wait for her to move? She's been leading us since she started unbuttoning my shirt, so I'd better let her lead. My mind has just decided my course of action when I feel her move.

**M** I roll onto my back, grasping at his side, tugging on his body. He rolls with me part way and comes to rest against my side. He begins to kiss my neck, and I tug on him again. I feel the fire between my legs and I want him with an urgency that I've never experienced before.

**H** If this were any other woman tugging at me, I'd already be on top of her, but it isn't any other woman. It's Mac. I can't take the chance of making a mistake. I push up onto my elbow and kiss her softly, and she tugs at me again. I start moving my hand up her side and I look down into her brown eyes. I swallow hard and say a silent prayer that my concerns are understood in my question. "Are you sure?" is how the question comes out. Yet, somehow, I'm sure that she understands, even though all she does is nod and spread her legs in invitation. I ease my body over hers, not letting any of my weight rest on her. I'm in position to enter her and as my tip nears her entrance, I can feel the heat that she's emitting from her core. I pause at her opening, allowing my tip to become moist with her juices.

**M** I take in a deep breath and begin to let it out slowly, knowing that the wait for me to know what it's like to be with him is about to end. I feel his tip enter me, sending a pulse through my body the likes of which I've never felt before. The sensation intensifies as he slowly and gently pushes farther into me and his lips crash onto mine in a searing kiss.

**H** I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly before I begin to love this woman the way I've dreamed of doing for so long. I penetrate her, and her warm, moist walls close in on me. I pull out a portion of myself before pushing back into her with slightly more thrust.

**M** I can't control my body. Our pace increases. Our breathing becomes more like panting. My body continues to writhe under him while I ride a wave of pure pleasure until I reach my release.

**H** Her body has calmed. I can let go now. I pull a portion of myself out of her the way I've done a number of times already. I'm not able to stop the throaty groan that escapes my mouth when I push myself back into her, my physical release accomplished with the motion.


	4. Chapter 4

**PART FOUR – Planning  
**

**HARM'S APARTMENT **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm was on his back with Mac snuggled up to his side, her head resting on his chest, his arm under her, resting his hand on her hip. They were lying entwined and content from their first union. Her fingertips were drawing odd shapes on his chest, and he began to stroke her arm in an effort to calm her finger movements as he kissed the top of her head.

Mac lifted her head and placed a sweet kiss on his lips before speaking. "I should be the one who resigns."

"And how did you arrive at that conclusion?" Harm asked.

"You said yourself that you don't want to give up the Navy."

"I did say that I didn't want to, but I didn't say that I wouldn't," Harm informed her.

"I suppose there is a subtle difference between the two, counselor, but you left the Navy once and you came back because you weren't happy. I should resign."

"Perhaps that's the reason why I should resign. I've been out of the Navy and I know that I'll be okay without it. I left the Navy because the admiral wouldn't let me go after you. I know that I'll have days when I'll miss it. However, unlike then, I'll have you to remind me of why I got out."

"I left the Corps once, too, if you remember."

"And you came back because you weren't happy." He paused. "We aren't making any progress, are we?"

Mac shook her head.

"Look, we can each make valid arguments of why we should be the one to resign, but we don't have the luxury of a lot of time to decide. If we both accept our new duty stations, it'll be months before we can even get together to talk about this. I'm sure that the answer is less complicated than we're trying to make it."

She was trying to stay positive, but it didn't sound like they were going to agree on anything, and tomorrow they'd be separated. She tried not to convey the fear of this being over before it had began when she made a suggestion. "We could tell the general about us and let him decide which one of us should stay." Harm's words - Fate could keep us together forever - echoed in her head. "Neither one of us would have to feel like we made the other give up something that they didn't want to. I know that it doesn't seem like fate, but it could work."

He looked down into her eyes and chuckled. "So you want to be able to blame the general."

Her lips formed into a warm smile.

"A little while ago, you were willing to flip a coin," he said with a chuckle.

Mac's eyes widened. "Flip a coin, that's perfect! We both don't want to leave the service, but we're willing to…and I'd say that leaving this decision up to a coin toss qualifies as fate." She paused. "But someone else should toss the coin, not one of us. Whoever it is should meet us somewhere."

He nodded in agreement. "A coin toss at…McMurphy's."

In unison, they said, "Bud!"

With the how and where decided, he was forced to release her long enough to get his phone. If they were going to make this happen tonight, they needed to get started. She was still while he dialed Bud's number. On the third ring, Bud answered.

"Roberts' residence."

"Bud, it's Harm. I know that it's getting late, but I need to ask you to do us a favor."

"Us, sir?" Bud asked.

"The colonel and me," Harm answered.

"For you two, sir, what can I do?" Bud asked excitedly.

"We need a third party to flip a coin. We've agreed to let the toss of the coin decide," Harm replied.

"Decide what, sir?"

"We're getting married, and the coin will decide which one of us is going to resign our commission," Harm explained.

"Did you just say that you're getting married, sir?" You could hear the surprise in his voice. "When you said 'us', sir, you said that you were talking about you and Colonel MacKenzie. Are you saying that the two of you are getting married?" Bud rambled in his own unique way.

"Yes, Bud, that's what I'm saying. Mac and I are getting married."

Harriet must have been pretty close to the phone because Harm could hear every word that she and Bud exchanged, and he heard her shriek loud and clear when Bud shared the big news.

Harm answered Bud's questions. They were really Harriet's questions because Harm could hear each one being asked to Bud before Bud asked him. A time to meet at McMurphy's and the details of Bud's assignment were reviewed, and Bud offered his congratulations before the call ended.

During the dinner reception, Sturgis had mentioned that he'd have to work late every day for at least a month to keep up with his new caseload, so Harm knew that he'd be able to reach him at the office. Harm was pleased when PO Coates answered the phone because this would reduce the number of calls that he'd have to make. Within a few minutes, he'd extended invitations to meet him and Mac for a drink at McMurphy's, and both of them had accepted. He'd also enlisted Jennifer's help in getting General Cresswell to join them there.

With the phone calls made, he reached for Mac, and they snuggled up to each other in a position similar to the one that they'd been in prior to the phone calls.

He glanced at her hand resting on his abdomen and rubbed his thumb across the back of her knuckles. "I don't have a ring. Of course, it might be better this way. We can go together and pick out something that you like instead of me picking out something and you hate it."

"I'm sure that anything you picked would've been fine, but we can negotiate the ring later. Right now, we need to have an idea of what to do once that coin lands." She wasn't sure why the ring discussion had made her feel uneasy, but it had, and she wanted to change the subject.

They discussed the two possible scenarios that could result from the coin toss. Harm would occasionally halt the discussion by giving her a gentle kiss.

If he were going to San Diego, he'd wait until his release date or until Mattie was able to travel before moving to San Diego. If she were going to London, things would be more complicated. She'd already sublet her apartment, for example, but they worked out a plan for that scenario as well. She was pleased with the progress that they'd made in their discussion and surprised at the ease with which they'd been able to agree on things.

She started to place a delicate kiss on his lips, but he pulled her into him, and the kiss became more when his tongue slipped past her lips to tangle with hers. She was lost in his kiss until her internal clock sounded an alarm. She sprang up and jumped out of bed. "Oh, Harm, we don't have time!" She was grabbing her clothing off the floor and quickly trying to put them on.

He'd never seen her in this kind of frenzy before, and it was hard for him not to laugh. She didn't tell him exactly how long they had left before their meeting at McMurphy's, so he wondered if her internal clock had been thrown off by their intimate activity. The cocky fighter jock who lurked under the surface smirked at the thought that their encounter could have thrown off her internal clock.

She didn't notice his smirk as she slipped on her pants. The Marine in her took command back from the frenzied woman. "I need to go to my place to shower, dress, put a few things together, and I'll meet you at McMurphy's." She paused. "What are you going to wear?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I believe the choices readily available are my Dress Mess uniform from earlier this evening, the outfit that you pulled off of me a little while ago or the uniform that I left out for tomorrow."

"If we're going to London, you'll need the clean uniform for your flight, so don't wear that. The shirt from the outfit earlier isn't attractive, so go with the Dress Mess."

"So you thought my shirt was ugly, huh? Well, if you're commenting on my wardrobe, then I have something to say about yours." He saw her stiffen, ready to fend off his attack on her wardrobe, but she softened when he flashed his flyboy grin at her. "I think you look sexy in red like the dress from earlier."

"I'm surprised that you've ever paid attention to that sort of thing," Mac commented, now dressed except for her top. She leaned over and put her lips on his. The kiss was barely a touching of their lips before she pulled away. "I'll be on my way as soon as I find my top."

"On the floor near the front door," Harm reminded her.

Mac fled the bedroom, calling over her shoulder, "Get moving or you'll be late."

Once again, she hadn't given her usual so many minutes and seconds before thay had to meet at McMurphy's. Harm smirked again, and then the sound of the door closing registered. He got out of bed and slid on his pants. He finished moving the boxes from the hall and some from just inside the door to the storage area downstairs. The boxes that were to be shipped to him were left just inside the door. He then took the time to pick up his earlier discarded clothing before showering and getting dressed to meet Mac.


	5. Chapter 5

**PART FIVE – Fate Decides  
**

**MCMURPHY'S **

Harm managed to get to McMurphy's on time. He placed a hand on the door to enter and, in that split second, it _hit_ him. She'd never said yes! Of course, she hadn't said no, either. He also realized that she'd never said that she loved him.

They had talked about a future together. She wouldn't have done that if her answer was no or if she didn't love him, right? He was now unsure if this was an engagement party or an impromptu goodbye drink with friends. A wave of nervousness washed over him about the potential outcome of this evening. He took in a deep breath and entered McMurphy's.

Harm ordered a beer. He was fiddling with his class ring and couldn't believe that he was sharing with the bartender that he wasn't sure if he'd become engaged or not. It was the truth, but he couldn't imagine why he was saying it, and to a relative stranger at that.

Harm looked at his watch. He worried that she'd had time to think it over on the way to change and had changed her mind instead of her clothes. He looked towards the door in time to see her walking in. She was here and in that red dress. He rose from the barstool to greet her. They exchanged a soft "hey" and a sweet kiss in greeting.

It was hard for Harm to take his eyes off of Mac even after everyone had arrived. It wasn't until Jennifer's mention of going to San Diego with Mac that Harm got the opening that he wanted.

"That's if the colonel is going to San Diego," Harm said while getting to his feet. "Mac and I have an announcement."

Mac stood to join him and, from that moment on, it was hard for him not to touch her. He had either an arm around her, was holding her hand or kept some kind of physical contact with her to keep them connected. In part, the touching was for the reassurance that he wasn't dreaming, the other part was, with the limited time they had, he wanted to be close to her for as long as he could be.

They stood in each other's arms. "We're getting married," Harm announced.

They finished each other's sentences until they explained that one of them would be resigning their commission and that they couldn't decide which one, so they were letting fate decide.

Bud asked the bride-to-be to call it, and Mac chose tails.

Bud launched the coin up, and it flipped over and over in the air. Then, the coin began to descend. The gold coin fell to the floor, twirling on its side. It was only seconds until it lost momentum and came to rest flat on the floor, rendering an answer for all the eyes fixed on it to see.

Mac looked at Harm and, without hesitation, she said, "London it is!"

General Cresswell's tone was light and sincere. "The Corps will be losing a fine Marine, and to the _Navy_ no less, but who am I to argue with fate?" The general extended his hand to Harm for a congratulatory handshake. "Congratulations, Captain." General Cresswell faced Mac and shook her hand. "Congratulations to you as well, Colonel."

Harriet, Jennifer and Mac managed to huddle for a discussion about such things as flowers and gowns for a few minutes. With the women engaged in 'girl talk,' the men teased Harm about his long-time bachelor status. Harm was able to take it all in stride, knowing that a few jokes at his expense was a small price to pay for what he was gaining.

Harm wasn't sure how long they'd been gathered when the general spoke, preparing to make an exit. "I told my wife that I was going to change a tire, and she's going to wonder where I had to go to change it. I have a lot to do tomorrow. It seems that I'll have to find a new CO for Joint Legal Services, Southwest. Colonel, I expect to see you in my office at 1300 tomorrow to discuss your plans in detail."

Mac felt Harm's grip tighten around her a bit as the general spoke. She knew that it was a supportive gesture and a reminder of why she was leaving the Corps.

The door had just closed behind the general when Sturgis spoke. "Mac, I was thinking. If you're staying here, you'll need your apartment." His comment was spoken as a statement, but it was really a question.

"Varese can still move in on Sunday. I'll be moving into Harm's loft and I plan to have completed the moved by Saturday evening." Mac smiled at the relief that instantly appeared on Sturgis' face as she spoke.

Sturgis seemed to be embarrassed at being caught at being so concerned about a personal issue. Now more relaxed with an answer that his personal plans weren't going to be ruined by his friends' announcement, Sturgis volunteered to help Mac move her stuff on Saturday. Since Mac was leaving her apartment furnished for Varese to use, she was moving only her clothing and other personal items to Harm's place, most of which were already boxed and ready to go, but if she'd had to use just her 'Vette to move it, it would have taken her most of the day since she'd be able to take only one or two boxes at a time.

After Mac had accepted his offer of help, Sturgis was upbeat as he said, "If I am going to be at work on time in the morning and be a moving man this weekend, I'd better get some rest." Sturgis stepped to the right of Harm to place his glass on the bar. As Sturgis brought his arm back from the bar, he rested a hand on Harm's shoulder while simultaneously raising his other arm up to meet Harm's hand in gentlemen's handshake. While they shook hands, Sturgis patted Harm's shoulder lightly, gave him a smile and a sincere congratulations. The two men released their grips, and Sturgis turned, kissed Mac's cheek and offered his congratulations to her before asking Jennifer if she'd like for him to walk her out, an offer that Coates accepted.

Jennifer was still visiting Mattie every Wednesday at the hospital, and Harm recalled a recent exchange between them. He'd been approaching Mattie's room, heard the two of them talking and stayed outside the door to listen. He couldn't remember the exact words, but the gist was, if she never walked again, that would be fine. However, it was Mattie's duty to be sure it was because she couldn't and not because she didn't try. Jennifer had been of so much help that Harm felt that he should say something more to her than just goodbye.

"Jennifer, I want to thank you for your help. I wouldn't have been able to pull off keeping Mattie without you. Thank you."

Jennifer replied, "It was my pleasure and you're welcome, sir." Pleased at his acknowledgement of her help, Jennifer finished her good nights and quickly turned towards the door, rushing to catch up with Sturgis.

Harm and Mac watched their friends departing, but they glanced at each other and became locked in a love struck gaze. When Harriet noticed, she motioned to Bud in silent communication that they should be leaving the 'love birds' alone.

Bud's voice caused the couple to break their gaze. "The twins are a handful, and we've been out most of the night. We need to head home, too."

Harriet had to hug the couple again before saying goodbye. After Bud shook Harm's hand and mentioned that he'd probably see Mac at JAG tomorrow, Mr. and Mrs. Roberts were soon on their way.

Mac tilted her head up and delivered the same soft, quick kiss that they'd used to greet each other earlier. "You have a plane to catch, so I was wondering, would you like to spend some time at my new apartment, Sailor?"

Harm raised an eyebrow, but didn't utter a word. Even in the muted lights of the room, she saw a spark in his eyes, and Mac started for the door. He reached for his wallet to pay the bar tab, wondering how she could make the word sailor sound so sexy and inviting.


	6. Chapter 6

**PART SIX – Happy Together  
**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION  
**

**MAC'S POV **

I'm parked in front of Harm's building and reach for the overnight bag that I'd packed. I reflect momentarily on the last three days while riding the elevator up. I was excited about the command position until I found out that it was in San Diego, far away from Harm. It got worse when it was announced that Harm was being transferred to London. Opposite coasts would've been bad enough, but 5,489 miles apart? We'd become close again, and it felt like I was losing him all over. After probably over analyzing it, I start to wonder if he'd been hinting at wanting to start a relationship before today. Examples that come to my mind: If you love him (Webb), it doesn't matter what I want. I'm tired of looking in on your life. I want to be a part of it. It matters that it (having a child) happens between the two of us. A lot of decisions need to be made, and I'm not talking about staffing decisions.

I leave the front door open, take my bag to the bedroom and open a drawer to place the contents of the bag inside. The empty drawer reminds me that he's leaving and that we have little time together. I slip off my shoes. Harm must have remade the bed because it's all neat again, so I turn down the bed before I decide to wait for him in the other room.

On my walk into the main living area, I see his suitcases and packed boxes, other reminders of the separation that we'll soon face. I move around the room, surveying his space. The first time that I was here, the refrigerator didn't work because there was no outlet. Another time he was working on the floors, and we had to have lunch on his bed. I'm glad that I'll be staying here. I'll feel closer to him here.

I take a break from my retrospective to note the time. I've been roaming about longer than I'd thought. He should've been here by now. I don't know why it's taking him so long. I perch myself on the stool where this all started a few hours ago.

I'm filled with an unexplained nervousness when I hear the clank of the elevator gate - he's here. Within seconds, he's standing in the doorway, holding a brown grocery bag. I look him up and down, taking in as much about him as I can.

The signs of stress and fatigue that have been so prominent in his face in recent weeks are gone. The smile on his face is like the one that I saw in Arizona, the charming 'I usually get what I want' one. With his facial features recorded, my eyes move downward.

Thoughts of leaving the Corps had made me sad, but as my eyes take in this man in uniform, I realize that he belongs in that uniform - fate has made the right choice.

My eyes make their way down to his perfectly shined shoes. What size are those shoes? I smile while bringing my eyes up to meet his eyes.

I feel a twinge of guilt stemming from the fact that I've spent time on a purely physical assessment of him.

**HARM'S POV**

As I come into the doorway, I see her sitting on the stool where our separate lives collided a few hours ago.

I notice that she's removed her shoes. The slit up the side of her dress allows me to start at her ankle and follow her leg up to mid-thigh where the slit ends, stopping any further viewing. My eyes move from where the material of her dress began to obstruct my view, past the curve at the waist and stops at the neckline. She's always had a striking figure, but her uniform masks how nice it really is. I move on, and her soft smile and the sparkle in her eyes make me weak in the knees. Her hair is nice, but I think I like the shorter cut from a couple of years ago better.

I feel a twinge of guilt, stemming from the fact that I've spent time on a purely physical assessment of her.

As I step into the apartment, she's the first one to speak, asking, "Are you going to leave the door open?"

"I was waiting to see if you were staying on this side of the door. A gentleman should always give a lady a chance to get out of a situation like this gracefully."

"Unless you've changed your mind, I'll be staying," she purrs. "What's in the bag?" she asks.

"I seem to remember you telling me once that, if you spend the night with a guy, he usually fixed you breakfast. Since the cabinets and refrigerator have been cleaned out, I thought I should pick up a few things."

"Like coffee?" she asks.

"Like coffee, though my coffee marker is packed, so you'll have to settle for instant."

"I'm sure that you can find a way to make up for instant coffee," she says suggestively.

I close the door and take my final steps towards her. Shifting the grocery bag slightly, my lips meet hers in a tender kiss. After the kiss, I move around the counter to unpack the groceries.

"If you've packed everything, how are you going to make breakfast?"

I begin to remove the items from the bag to put them away. "I stopped at one of those open twenty-four hour, we have everything stores."

By the time the bag was empty, there were two coffee mugs, a box of assorted plastic utensils, a roll of paper towels, instant coffee, sugar, creamer, a variety of pastries and two small containers of pre-sliced fresh fruit from the deli section, everything needed for a light breakfast for two.

"We could have just gone out for breakfast," she teases.

I begin to remove my tie while I'm talking. "I don't want to leave here any earlier than I have to. Coates and I are scheduled to leave for Andrews at 0600, as it is." I make my way around the end of the counter. I remove my jacket and lose the cummerbund before settling onto the stool next to her. Once seated, I begin to undo the buttons of my shirt as I listen to her response.

"At McMurphy's, Jennifer gave me the job of being your driver tomorrow. We'll still have to leave at 0600 to have you at Andrews for your 0700 preflight check-in time. That leaves us -"

My shirt is hanging open, but I don't want to be reminded about how little time we have left to be together, so I place my lips over hers, cutting off her words by kissing her.

After a need for air causes us to break the kiss, I remove my shirt before toeing off my shoes.

"Getting comfortable?" she asks with a grin.

"Yes."

"Then let me help," she says a moment before she pulls my t-shirt out of the waistband of my pants. She takes in the view as she raises my undershirt up and off, exposing my chest.

I place my palm on the side of her face and move my thumb along her cheekbone. She leans into my touch. She stands, and I move my hands to her waist and pull her closer to me, and our lips meet. It's a gentle, warm, closed-mouth kiss that doesn't last long enough to satisfy either of us.

As much as I love her, the next kiss we share is based on the basic instinct of lust - I want her.

**MAC'S POV**

I feel the hunger in his kiss, and it's exciting to me. With the next kiss, I invite his tongue to dance with mine by parting my lips when his tongue glances across my lower lip.

During our passionate, intense, tongue-tangling kiss, I feel his hands moving down my back. I feel a tingle as his hand makes contact with the skin on my back. He's unzipped my dress.

As the kiss eases, he uses the tips of his fingers to guide the straps of my dress off my shoulders. He kisses across the top of my left shoulder and then switches to the right, allowing me to remove the dress straps from each arm.

**HARM'S POV**

Her hips keep her dress from falling to the floor. I pull her closer to me, and my lips descend on hers. Her exposed skin making contact with mine makes my blood run hot. My hands reach for the material at her hips and, with a slight tug, the dress is dislodged and is sent to the floor. When the need for air forces us apart, I slip one arm around her and bend slightly, scooping her up into my arms. Her arms go around my neck, and she rests her head against my shoulder. I carry her up the steps to the bedroom.

I release her legs, allowing them to return to the floor. We meet in a kiss that's passionate, yet tender. The next kiss is softer. I ease back from our latest kiss and look at her. The only barriers to viewing all of her are a pink lace-trimmed bra and matching panties. I run my hands down her arms until I have each one of her hands in one of mine. I'm looking at her lovingly and taking in her beauty.

"You're a very beautiful woman."

Blushing slightly, she sighs, "Thank you. You're easy on the eyes yourself."

I sit on the edge of the bed. Her hands move slowly across my back as she gets up on the bed next to me. My back muscles tense under her touch. I enjoy her touch and, when she begins to place soft kisses across my back, I pretend to have no other plan at the moment than to take off my socks. Her hands slowly move around me and across the muscles of my chest. She begins to kiss the nape of my neck, and it sends shivers down my spine. I remove my socks and belt before deciding that I can wait no longer to hold her close again. As I turn, my arm snakes around her, and she slides up against me. Our lips meet. My hand moves over the soft, smooth skin of her shoulder before it comes to rest at the small of her back.

She's in my embrace, and I ease her back onto the bed as I kiss her. I start a journey of discovery by kissing from her lips down to her chin, down her throat, and then down to the exposed skin in the valley between her breasts. I kiss along the top of her breasts using the lace line of her bra as a guide. I want to enjoy every moment of being with her. I continue to kiss her until I've kissed along the lace line from one side to the other, and then the hand that I still have under her moves to unhook her bra, and I pull the unfastened garment carefully from her body.

My hand moves to touch her revealed breasts. I cup a breast tenderly and I feel her body shudder under my touch. I can't maintain my balance and enjoy this exquisite feature of hers without putting too much of my weight on her, so I roll onto my back. She raises her body, and I move an arm behind her and pull her to me. Like she was reading my mind, she's positioned herself in a way that allows me to kiss along the sides of her breasts where they met the valley between. This part had been rushed, though not skipped earlier this evening, and I'm going to enjoy a slower journey now.

My kisses eventually bring me to her taut nipple. When my tongue swirls around her nipple, her body instinctively reacts. After kissing both breasts and swirling my tongue around each nipple as an introduction, of sorts, I place my mouth over a nipple and take it along with part of her breast into my mouth. When I suck gently on her breast, her body twitches in response. I suckle at one breast briefly before moving to the other one.

I feel her body shifting. She leans forward and presses her lips to mine. When our lips part, she kisses along my jaw line, towards my ear and down my neck. The movement of her hips and her kisses are pushing my senses to the limit. My need and desire for her is filling me. I roll her over onto her back and begin to assault her senses, kissing one part while caressing another.

**MAC'S POV**

He's kissing and caressing me, and no part of me feels neglected when his hands or lips move to a new place. He kisses down between my breasts and down to my bellybutton. He's removing my panties in the same manner in which he did earlier.

He's now removed my panties and is kissing his way back up from my bellybutton to my breasts. He stops at my breasts, giving each one more attention before continuing to kiss up my body until he's once again placing his lips on mine.

My pulse is racing with the anticipation of our joining. I want to be loved by him. I want to feel him inside me. As we kiss, my hands find their way down to his waist and unfastened his pants.

**HARM'S POV**

Unfastening my pants makes me aware that she's ready, but I'm hesitant. I was apprehensive earlier, but assumed that it was because a first time can't be done over.

I look down into her eyes, and their silent plea and my own need stops me from analyzing further.

I place a brief kiss on her lips before pulling away and getting out of bed.

**MAC'S POV **

He's standing beside the bed. I'm confused. Things were going so well, so what happened? Is something wrong? I'm afraid to ask, yet I have to know. "Are you going somewhere?" I ask tentatively.

"Not without you," he replies as he slides his unfastened pants and boxer style underwear to the floor.

He's standing naked in front of me with his arousal obvious. I didn't take the time earlier to look, but I am now. I make a mental note: That foot or shoe size theory isn't a myth. He's well built everywhere. He comes back onto the bed, our eyes meet, and I'm sure that he knows that I want him to love me again before our lips come together and no further words are exchanged.

**HARM'S POV**

I use my forearms to hold the weight of my upper body off of her. I push slowly inside her, the moisture and warmth of her walls surround me, and I pause to enjoy the feel of her as I engage her tongue in a searing kiss.

Our rhythm comes easily, as if we've been lovers for years. Her body writhes under me as our pace quickens. I relish the feel of her under me and the feel of her that surrounds my stiff presence inside her.

**MAC'S POV**

My back arches in response to his strokes, hoping that he'll go deeper inside me. He lets out a moan when I thrust my hips up to meet him as our rhythm of loving each other takes on a much faster pace. Our breathing quickens as the force at which we thrust against each other increases.

With all of our senses at full alert and every nerve ending awakened, we continue until our need and desire are quenched in mutual release.


	7. Chapter 7

**PART SEVEN – Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow **

Harm's left arm was under her, and his right hand had her left hand enclosed in it, resting on his chest. Her head rested comfortably on his shoulder, and their legs were entwined.

Spent from their lovemaking, they lay together, silently reviewing the change that their relationship had taken.

The suddenness of the change had caused them to be guarded, and they'd each held back some part of themselves, but from the moment that she'd let him know that she wanted him, their bodies had reacted to each other, and they'd finally allowed their bodies the pleasure of a union that their hearts had craved for a long time.

Even though neither of them would vocalize their feelings to each other, at least not on this night, both had the same thought: This had been a lusty meshing of their bodies that had been encapsulated in love, and the feelings that the encounter had evoked couldn't be compared to any other that they'd experienced before.

Harm placed a kiss on the top of her head and then pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it. He began to unconsciously rub his thumb across the back of her hand. Even though he was holding her, it was hard for him to believe that lying here with her was real. He wished that he were leaving her with a ring on her finger to remind her of him.

"We need to finish negotiations on a ring," he whispered.

She pressed herself against his body as she replied, "I don't need a ring." She didn't know why discussing a ring made her uncomfortable.

"Maybe you don't need one, but you deserve one."

His response struck a chord with Mac.

"Anything you pick will be fine," she stated quietly, slightly distracted by the thought that perhaps he'd inadvertently found the cause of her discomfort.

Did she think that she didn't deserve a ring or was it that she didn't think that she deserved him? She needed to really give this theory some more thought, but not now. She needed to focus on the present and being here with him. So, for now, she'd just have to change the subject and dwell on her insecurities later.

"How do you think Mattie will feel about our engagement?" Mac asked. Perhaps this could be the cause of her apprehension about putting on a ring. What if Mattie disapproved and they never got married? 'Great, something else to think about,' she thought as she waited for Harm's response.

"She's been through a lot with the accident and Tom going back to drinking, so it may be hard for her at first. It is coming out of the blue, but she knows that I love you and she'll be happy for us. I'd call her now, but it's too late. I'll call her in the morning to tell her about us."

Mac's head was nodding in understanding against his chest before the last part of what he'd said registered with her, and she asked, "Wait…Mattie knows that you love me? You told her before you told me?"

She sounded irritated, but she wasn't pulling away. That was a good sign, he thought before speaking.

"To be accurate, I didn't tell her, she asked. According to Mattie, during an evening of 'girl talk' between her and Jennifer, I became the topic of conversation. Mattie says that Jennifer told her that I was in love with you. One night, Mattie asked me if I was. I wasn't going to lie, so I said yes."

"How does Jennifer know?" Mac asked.

"I don't know. You'd have to ask Jennifer." Mac seemed amused by the story, though she seemed distressed by the fact that both Jennifer and Mattie had known how he felt before she did.

They were wrapped in each other's embrace, but each of them drifted off into their own thoughts, and the room fell silent.

Harm was thinking about how good it felt to be with her when the reality that he had a plane to catch washed over him.

The threat of separation three days ago had been hard enough, but now it seemed to be the end of the world. He wondered if getting on that plane would be easier if they'd been a couple for more than a few hours. He speculated that the separation itself wouldn't be as bad as the thought of being apart. They were finally together. He needed to remember that their separation was only temporary. He gave her body a squeeze to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming and that she was really here.

Mac felt his grip around her tighten. She spoke softly. "I thought you were asleep."

"I thought you were."

"I can't sleep. I've been thinking."

"Thinking about what, may I ask?"

"Yes, you may. I was thinking about how wonderful it is to be here with you."

"That's funny; I was thinking the same thing." He paused. "It's going to be hard for me to get on that plane."

Her hand glided across his chest as she spoke, "I was trying not to think about that."

Content in each other's arms, they tried not to think about the rapidly approaching time of his departure. In his arms, she managed to drift to sleep.

Harm couldn't sleep. Three days ago, he'd had no idea how to say what he wanted her to know, but somehow the words that he'd chosen or the way that he'd said them or the fact that he'd said them - he wasn't sure which one, nor at this point did he particularly care - had worked. With only twelve hours left in the same country, he'd proposed to her and told her that he loved her.

**FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2005**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

**0447**

Harm reached out to shut off the buzzing of his travel alarm clock before it could wake Mac. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. They'd made love, talked and made love again, and she'd drifted off to sleep in his arms a little more than an hour ago. He'd been watching her sleep, but now he had to force himself to get out of bed.

He showered, shaved and put on a clean t-shirt and boxers before making his way towards the kitchen. He returned to the bedroom with two mugs. He sat the two mugs down on the bedside table on her side before sitting on the edge of the bed. He brushed a stray hair from the side of her face before he kissed her cheek.

"It's time to get up," he whispered in her ear.

Her body rolled towards the familiar voice and her eyelids opened slowly. "Good morning."

"Good morning," he replied.

Mac sat up so fast that the sheet across her had no time to fall as her arms went around his neck. His arms went around her, and the sheet was pressed between their bodies as they came together for a morning kiss.

After the kiss had come to a natural close, Mac placed her head on his shoulder, and he stretched to reach for one of the mugs. Once he'd retrieved the mug, he offered it to her.

Mac took the offered mug and began to sip the warm coffee.

"Would you like to shower or have breakfast first?"

She took another sip and, in a sleepy voice, answered, "Shower."

Harm stood as he spoke. "I'll get dressed and set up breakfast while you shower."

He took only two steps towards the kitchen before he felt her arms wrap around him at the waist from behind. He turned, wrapping his arms around her naked form. When theirs lips came together, they tried to convey how much they loved each other and how much they were going to miss each other. When their lips parted, he watched her walk away from him towards the shower.

Harm burned off the frustration of desire without the time to satisfy what they'd started by doing such tasks as gathering up his dress mess uniform pieces and packing them, packing his shaving kit, finishing dressing and setting up breakfast for two.

Harm was surveying the room to make sure that he wasn't leaving anything behind when Mac emerged from the bedroom, looking sharp in her uniform and carrying an empty coffee mug. He wished that she didn't have to report for work after taking him to catch his flight so that she could be in civilian clothes. She looked good in uniform, but the uniform didn't do her figure justice.

They sat down to eat breakfast and ate without saying much, but they couldn't keep their eyes off each other. Mac would pinch off a section of her muffin and offer it to him. He'd take the offered piece of muffin, enjoying the fact that the level of comfort in their relationship had her feeding him.

Once the muffin and coffee were gone, it was time to pack up.

Harm was clearing the counter. "I was thinking that we should say our goodbyes here and you could just drop me off." He paused and, realizing how final his words sounded, he added, "I'll be coming back when I get word from Bud about a court date for Mattie's custody."

Mac smiled. "You need a place to stay while you're in town, Sailor?" She moved closer to him.

Why did she have to go and call him sailor like that? "I was hoping that you'd let me stay here."

"I think that can be arranged."

They were deep in a passionate kiss within seconds. He didn't want to give up his naval career, but at the moment, he thought that it would be easier than letting go of her.

She reluctantly released him and, in a shaky voice, asked, "Do you have everything?"

"Yeah, I've double checked. I just have to grab the bags by the door and I'm good to go."

Harm kissed her gently and then once again with more sizzle. He eased the second kiss to a close and, when their lips parted, their bodies followed.

Harm moved to the door and grabbed one bag. She went out the door, and he picked up the second bag and stepped into the hall. He closed the door, and they were on their way.

**AIR TERMINAL**

**ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE **

**0643**

They held hands from the time they got into the car until arriving at the main gate of the base. They'd both taken flights out of Andrews before, but this was the first time that the drive out there had seemed so short.

Mac parked the car.

Harm was missing her already, and he wasn't even out of the car yet. The best way to do this, he thought, is quick - like pulling off a Band-Aid - it still hurts, but the pain doesn't last long.

He took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the lips. He opened the passenger door and, in a flash, he had his bags and was around at the driver's door. He set his bags down next to the car and opened her door. He bent at the knees, lowering to a squat behind the open door and looked into her eyes.

"Colonel, this is the hard part. Doing this any other way would make it that much harder."

Mac had to admit that being in uniform on a military base and in a government issued vehicle, no less, did help. They had to stay focused on their professional persona and not their personal interests. She started to say something, but opted for a very brief touching of her lips to his instead.

He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before he stood. "Let me know what the general says." He picked up his bags and turned, quickly walking away from the car.

Harm had gotten half way to the terminal when he decided that he couldn't leave like this. He turned to go back to the car to kiss her like he'd wanted to, but he had just enough time to drop his bags, freeing his arms to catch the Marine who was running towards him.

Their arms wrapped around each other, and she whispered in his ear. "If someone sees us, tell them that I attacked you. What will they do ... toss me out of the Corps?"

"Were you reading my mind? I'd just decided to go back to the car to give you a proper goodbye."

"Goodbye and not good luck?" A second later, they were in an intense kiss.

If anyone saw them kissing, they didn't say a word.

It still wasn't easy, but with one last squeeze of each other, they parted and turned towards their destinations: Mac back to the car, and Harm to the terminal building.

Mattie had therapy, class or something at 0730. Harm's brain couldn't recall at the moment what, but he was sure of the time, so it wasn't too early to call. If he didn't call now, he wouldn't be able to reach her until around dinnertime, her time. This was big news, and he didn't want to wait.

A very soft "Hello" came through his cell phone.

"Hi, Mattie. I know it's early. I'm waiting to board my flight. Something happened last night, and I need to tell you about it."

"You've changed your mind about me, right?"

With the hope that a reply without hesitation would reassure her, he wasted no time in answering. "No, I haven't changed my mind. You're stuck with me, but you get a bonus."

The soft voice returned. "A bonus? Harm, are you feeling okay? What happened last night?"

"Guess who dropped me off at the air terminal a few minutes ago? Oh, never mind. I don't have time for you to guess, so I'll just have to tell you." He paused for dramatics. "It was Mac."

If he was going to say more, Mattie didn't give him a chance. "Did you say Mac? I thought Jennifer was taking you. Wait...did you tell her?"

"Yes, I said Mac. The plan was to have Jennifer drive me, but after last night, Mac got the honors ... and if you're referring to our chat at the hospital a few days ago about whether I was going to tell Mac that I loved her, the answer would be yes, I told her. I even proposed."

At the end of his answer, Mattie started to rattle off excitedly, "You proposed? Did she say yes? You said that she was going to San Diego. How are you going to get married if you're living so far apart?"

"We decided that we wanted to be a little closer than 6,000 miles, so we made a deal. She's going to resign and move to London." He didn't give her any of the details of how uniquely London had been chosen.

Mattie sounded sad. "She won't want me around."

His voice caught in his throat at the sadness in Mattie's tone. Harm tried to reassure her with his words and tone as he replied, "Mac knows that we're a package deal. I told you - you're stuck with me!"

Mattie was happy for him, but unsure of how she'd fit in. She didn't know Mac well, but she knew that Harm loved her.

Harm knew that his words wouldn't ease Mattie's mind after all she'd been through, but he knew that, over time, she'd understand that he wasn't going to leave her behind. He didn't want to cut the call short, but he had a plane to catch. He remembered her session at 0730 and looked at his watch.

"You have somewhere to be in about five minutes, so we need to get off the phone now. I'll call later to let you know that I made it to London and answer any more questions then, okay?"

After each of them had said goodbye, he pushed the end button on his cell phone and headed to board the plane that would take him away from the ones he loved most.


	8. Chapter 8

**PART EIGHT – An Ocean Apart  
**

**FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2005**

**LONDON, ENGLAND**

Harm's flight was uneventful, and he arrived in London as scheduled. He waited until after he'd checked into the officers' quarters before calling Mattie as promised.

After telling Mattie that he'd arrived safely, the rest of the fifteen minute or so call was spent trying to reassure her that his engagement didn't change the fact that he wanted her to be his daughter.

Since Mac was suppose to call him after her meeting with General Cresswell, the only thing that Harm really had to do after ending his call with Mattie was unpack...well, unpack and wait for Mac's call.

Harm didn't have much to unpack, so he opted to take a tour of the building where he was now a resident.

One place he found of interest on his tour was the communications center located just off the main lobby. The sign on the door said closed. He'd have to check it out another time.

After a tour of the inside of the building, Harm strolled outside for a time before deciding that dinner should be the next item on his agenda.

After dinner, Harm returned to his quarters. He sat, making notes on things that he needed to do and things that he might want to say at his first staff meeting. His notes, whether work related or personal, were written randomly on the same top sheet of his yellow legal pad.

Harm remembered the pictures that he'd carefully wrapped and slid between the clothing in his luggage. He'd brought a picture of him when he was little with his dad and a picture of Mattie. Now he wished that he'd packed the picture of Mac that he'd thought about bringing.

At the time he'd been packing, he'd decided not to bring a picture of Mac along, opting to put pictures of her in boxes to be shipped to him. His opinion at the time had been that bringing her picture with him would remind him of his heartache, and he'd thought that it was going to be hard enough to get over her without looking at a picture every day of the woman who he wanted but would never have. If he'd known how his life would change during his final twelve hours in DC, he'd have packed Mac's picture, too.

With nothing else to do, now seemed like a good time to unpack so that he could verify that the pictures that he'd brought had survived the trip.

Harm was almost finished with his unpacking when his cell phone rang. His caller ID revealed that it was the call that he'd been expecting, and he answered before his phone rang a second time.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey yourself."

"What did he say, Mac?" Harm asked.

"He said that I'm a very lucky Marine," Mac answered.

"Why did he say that?" Harm asked curiously.

"The general said that he'd received a call late last night...well, really during the early hours of this morning, telling him to pull my orders."

"They called him...why? Why would someone want to pull your orders?" Harm asked nervously. Was Mac in some kind of trouble?

Harm couldn't see the smile on Mac's face as she thought about how anxious Harm sounded waiting for her to give him more information, which she thought was ironic because, if he'd just stop asking her questions, she'd be able to finish, and he wouldn't have to be worried. She wasn't in any trouble.

"It seems that they had a snafu with the Joint Legal Services plan, and they aren't ready for a CO yet."

"With no billet ready for you, then you should be able to start terminal leave tomorrow. You could be here with me in no time," Harm said excitedly.

"This Marine isn't that lucky. I'll continue to work here at JAG HQ for the time being," Mac said sadly before giving Harm the details of the rest of her conversation with Cresswell.

"General Cresswell said that he isn't thrilled with the idea of me just leaving the Corps...retiring if I were eligible would be one thing, but to just walk away...."

Harm interrupted, "You got a Marines don't quit speech. Did he add 'especially because of a squid' to it, too?"

"No, he didn't. He wasn't mean about it, but he did voice his concerns "as my CO and as my friend" as he put it. Then he said that he wouldn't sign off on my terminal leave for thirty days. He said that, after I'd had a month to think it over, if I still wanted to resign my commission, he'd sign my request for terminal leave and start it up the chain of command. However, he also said that, since both the political supporters of the JLS concept and the military leaders on the project still want me to assume the role of CO when the billet is ready, you and I should have a back up plan since his signature isn't the only one required for my separation from the Corps."

"We'll figure out something," Harm sighed into the phone. "I'm not giving you up without a fight, even if that fight is with the Marine Corps."

Their phone call ended without the reunion date that Harm had been hoping for.

Harm hadn't slept the night before, so with the five hour time difference in his favor, he went to bed after his phone call with Mac had ended.

Harm was exhausted and was able to drift to sleep with ease while thinking about Mac.

**SATURDAY, APRIL, 2, 2005 **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Mac hadn't been able to sleep. She'd gotten more rest in the hour that she'd slept in Harm's arms than she'd gotten all night last night.

Mac showered and was drinking her first cup of coffee when a bright smile graced her face. Yesterday, she'd gone to sleep in the arms of not just any man, but the right man for her - Harm. She couldn't remember waking and feeling as refreshed as she had when she'd slept near him.

Mac took a moment to remember when she'd slept close to Harm before. She'd slept in his arms in a cave in Virginia while staying away from crazed poachers. They'd shared a room in Russia, though he'd slept in a chair. She would've been able to sleep in his arms on the ground while in Afghanistan, but a bombing run had interrupted that. Even with the bombing, knowing that he was with her had allowed her to sleep that night, and it had been more restful than her sleep last night.

Sturgis had been on time, and it had taken only a couple of hours for them to move her personal things over to Harm's.

A look around Harm's apartment had Mac wondering if it had been a good idea to have sublet her apartment to Varese furnished. Harm's things fit him, but they were definitely masculine, and for both of them to feel comfortable living in a place together, she wished that she'd held onto some of her furniture to mix with his for balance.

Mac couldn't argue with her reason at the time that she'd made the arrangement with Varese. She'd felt that by leaving as much behind as she could, she'd obtain a clean break from her life in Washington. She remembered going through her personal things and trying to purge the mistakes of her life by throwing out those things that reminded her of them. She might have been saying that she wanted to leave her life here behind, but she'd packed pictures of Harm, although she'd rid herself of pictures and memories of Dalton, Mic and Webb. It was strange to think about it now, but the one thing ... person from whom she'd really been trying to break away, and she just hadn't been able do it.

'What a difference twelve hours can make,' she thought as she moved about Harm's place, unpacking her things.

Mac wanted to make her stay here of at least thirty days to be as comfortable for herself as possible, and a few of her things about the place would make her feel more at home while still being able to enjoy Harm's presence with his things here.

Mac worked for several hours with a couple of breaks and was mostly unpacked when she opted to go to bed early, hoping to sleep.

As she burrowed under the covers of the bed, she couldn't believe that she missed Harm so much.

She'd have only limited success in sleeping, dozing off for a couple of hours in the early hours of the morning.

**SAME DAY **

**LONDON, ENGLAND**

It could've been exhaustion or his dreams of Mac, but Harm slept through the night and woke feeling well rested. He thought about the advantage of flying in on a Friday - you get the weekend to get your bearings before reporting for duty on Monday.

His first order of business after he woke was to seek out breakfast.

After a good breakfast, Harm went to what would be his new office beginning on Monday and had a look around before exploring the city some.

Upon his return to his building, he began to investigate some of the common areas that had looked to be of interest when he'd walked past them last night.

Harm found the communications center closed, but after making some inquiries, he was informed that they had computers for emailing, pay phones, phone cards for sale and a small post office for corresponding to loved ones the old fashioned way. It was sponsored by the USO. However, its hours of operation were limited. It wasn't until he'd returned from an early dinner that he found the place open.

Within minutes of entering the center, he was signed up and at a computer. He sent an email to Mattie. He had nothing new to say since they'd last spoken, but he wanted to keep the lines of communication open.

He didn't have anything new to say to Mac either, but he wanted her to know that he was thinking about her.

**SUNDAY, APRIL 3, 2005 **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION **

Mac had gotten no more sleep than she had the night before. She showered and was struck with an idea as she made her way from the bedroom to her coffee maker.

Mac didn't know if it was a good idea or not, but she knew that going to see her was necessary if she hoped to have a life with Harm. She drank her first cup of coffee and, after a second cup, she left the apartment.

Mac arrived just after Mattie's midday meal and kept her visit brief.

Mattie had been excited about getting an email from Harm, and all of their conversation revolved around either that email or Harm in general.

Mac felt a little awkward being there, but the visit with Mattie had been pleasant.

On the way home, Mac had been feeling a little jealous that Mattie had received an email from Harm. Mac's jealousy quickly disappeared when she got home from Arlington and checked her email. She didn't usually check her email on the weekends, but she'd have to change that now that Harm was so far away.

Mac read what Harm had written and wasted no time in replying to his email.

Mac went to bed early, hoping to sleep, but she had only limited success, dozing off for a couple of hours at a time. She'd sleep much better when she wasn't an ocean apart from Harm.

**SAME DAY**

**LONDON, ENGLAND **

Harm had slept well on Friday night, but not last night. He'd gotten to sleep, but it hadn't been restful.

He'd found a place to do his running yesterday, and a run was at the top on his list to do this morning. If, after he started work tomorrow, he needed to switch to an evening run to help tire him in order to sleep better, then he'd do that, but today, he was running in the morning the way he'd been doing for the last ten years.

Harm missed Mac, but that alone may not have been his reason for not sleeping. Tomorrow was the big day, his first day in command. He was a little nervous, but excited for this new chapter in his life to begin.

Harm was even more excited when he went to email 'his girls' late in the afternoon and found that he had mail from both of them. Mattie had answered his email first, and the note that she'd sent in reply was short, but if she'd written it herself, it was great, another step to a full recovery. Mac had written quite a while later, but given the time difference and the fact that she usually didn't check her mail on the weekends, he wasn't surprised, though maybe a little disappointed. He dashed off another quick note to each of them before heading to his room.

His day had been normal for a man in a new country who was preparing for his first command position while being separated from his fiancée and daughter.

Those words, daughter and fiancée, were quickly becoming his favorite words.

Harm used the remaining part of the day to settle in and work on some more notes for his first staff meeting.

After setting out a clean uniform, he was ready to turn in for the night.

Harm tried to sleep without much luck.

He'd held Mac only a fraction of one night, and he couldn't help wanting her to be there with him. He'd sleep much better when she arrived, but tonight he was alone, and tomorrow they'd each go to work in different parts of the world.

They were a couple, but they were living their lives an ocean apart.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER TWO - Temporary Assigned Duty **

**PART ONE – Time Marches On**

**WEEK ONE **

**4 April – 10 April, 2005  
**  
By the end of his first week, Harm had a better understanding of how General Cresswell must have felt when he took command at HQ. The view was very different from the CO's chair versus the staff side of the desk. He worked late every night and even took files back to his quarters to review.

Harm had found the communication center where he could send emails, but during this first week, he'd found that the hours of the center weren't compatible with his schedule. However, with a five hour time difference and given their schedules, calling Mattie and Mac wasn't the best option, so to keep connected with them, he'd go into the office before anyone else and send both Mattie and Mac an email. Most days, before leaving the office for the day, he was able to send another email to each of them as well.

Late on Saturday morning, as soon as Harm was sure that he wouldn't be waking either of them, he dialed the first phone number. He dialed Mattie first and found, to his surprise, that Mac was there visiting her, so he talked to one and then the other. The phone call didn't last nearly long enough - he could've talked to them all day and it still wouldn't have been enough - and he missed them even more after the call ended.

***********

Harm had brought Mac to the hospital with him recently, and Mattie had noticed that they'd been relaxed around each other, like good friends, but they hadn't seemed to be anything more. Mattie knew that Harm loved Mac, but never having seen them together socially, it now seemed strange that they were engaged. Mattie knew that she needed to get to know Mac better, and Mac knew that she needed to get to know Mattie better, too, so she visited Mattie on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday that first week.

Jennifer visited Mattie on Wednesday evening. Since Joint Legal Forces, Southwest had been nixed, at least temporarily, Petty Officer Coates was still stationed at JAG HQ as well as any other personnel who'd had hopes of going to the sand and surf of San Diego. After Jennifer left, Mattie realized that she'd asked a lot of questions about Mac during their weekly visit.

***********

Mac filled her days with work and getting to know Mattie.

At work, Mac concentrated on the one good and four "dog" cases that Harm had left behind. She'd ended up with them after the reshuffling of case loads on Monday due to the JLS office being put on hold. Her work didn't keep her busy long. Two of the 'dogs' were over by way of a deal on Wednesday, and the good case was over on Thursday when the accused hung himself, leaving a note in which he confessed to everything in detail.

Mac left each visit with Mattie feeling that Mattie had about ten thousand questions, but had asked none. Mac didn't ask anything during the visits because she didn't want to upset Mattie, perhaps causing a set back in her recovery.

An email routine had been established easily by the end of the first week, and Mac had written Harm after her visit on Thursday evening. Harm's response had been simple: Mattie we'll ask when she's ready to talk, and when she asks, be honest with her. She's like you in that way.

Mac found that she could sleep only a couple of hours per night. She assumed that the excitement of becoming engaged and the internal pressure that she felt to get to know Mattie better were the reasons.

**WEEK TWO **

**11 April – 17 April, 2005  
**  
Harm left his office at lunchtime on Tuesday and headed to the housing office. He was on a mission to secure a home for his family.

The personnel at housing were helpful, sort of. They politely explained the policy, and he found it ironic that legal technicalities were causing the problem. In a nutshell, he didn't have legal custody - temporary or permanent - of the child for whom he claimed to need housing and he wasn't married - even if not married yet was a better description - so, according to the rules, he had no reason to be on the housing list. Once he had custody or was married, there would be no problem with putting him on the waiting list so that his six-month wait could begin. This didn't help Harm because the family court wanted proof that he'd secured proper living quarters before proceeding with the matter of custody. However, in a continued effort to be helpful, the clerk at the housing office did provide him with a map of the London area and a few names that might have something available.

***********

Mattie got two emails a day from Harm. Mac visited on Tuesday, Jennifer on Wednesday and Mac again on Thursday, and Mac spent most of Saturday with Mattie as well. Mattie was glad to find out that, even though Mac was a Marine, she liked normal 'girl things.'

As far as her recovery was going, Mattie was still making progress, but the results weren't as visible, and it was starting to frustrate her. Her moodiness was a perfectly natural reaction to all that she'd been through of late, but Mac was concerned about her.

********* **

Mac had two cases left of the ones that had been Harm's. On Tuesday morning, she'd gotten the charges dismissed at a preliminary hearing due to lack of evidence on one case. Before she left the office on Wednesday afternoon, all parties had reached an agreement in the second case, and she'd be able to fill out the reports on that case tomorrow and have nothing left on her desk except the boring paperwork that General Cresswell had given her on Wednesday morning.

The general had given her some small cases involving potential third party involvement in some insurance claims. The letters were standard on the insurance stuff, so she wished that Cresswell had given the job to Vuckovic and had given her a case that she could sink her teeth into to keep her busy enough that she wouldn't spend so much time thinking about how much she missed Harm.

During her visit on Tuesday evening, Mattie began to ask Mac questions. The questions that she'd asked so far had been easy to answer. Did she like being a Marine? What kind of movies did she like? What kind of music did she like? Mac was relieved by Mattie's initial questions because they were easy to answer.

Mac knew that Mattie was just getting warmed up and that tougher questions would come. Mac knew that the questions about Harm, about her, or about her and Harm were coming and that she should be prepared. When they got Harm's call on Saturday during Mac's visit, Mac wasn't sure who was happier to hear his voice, Mattie or herself.

Mac was so tired that she began to skip dinner, opting to try to get to sleep early in an effort to get in a few extra minutes, but without success. Her sleep pattern continued. She never got more than three or four hours per night. On good nights, she'd get them consecutively, but most nights, it was ten minutes here and thirty minutes there.

**18 April – 19 April, 2005**

Harm's requested staff had begun to arrive at the end of week two and he was confident that, once all of his hand-selected staff had arrived, his life around the office would be easier.

Since Bud had turned him down, filling the XO position had been tough, but he'd chosen one, and she arrived on Tuesday.

The housing search hadn't gone well over the weekend, so he hoped to focus on that once his staff had settled into a routine.

Harm found that his daily emails from Mac and Mattie never failed to bring a smile to his face. Just knowing that they were okay made him feel better. The emails sounded as if he had nothing to worry about as far as Mac and Mattie getting along.

***********

As week three began for Mac, she seem to have an endless pile of mindless reports and seemingly meaningless tasks to do for the general instead of casework.

Harm's emails were bright spots in her days. Her visits with Mattie were therapeutic because they talk about Harm, each understanding the emptiness that the other felt from his absence.

Mattie's physical therapy was going well, but the staff could tell that the tall sailor's absence was starting to affect her. Tuesday, Mattie had a particularly hard time with physical therapy and was upset when Mac came by. Mac decided that only one person could help. She excused herself and went into the hall.

Mac reentered the room moments later, offering Mattie her cell phone. Mattie put the phone to her ear and said hello. Her greeting was met with Harm's voice.

"Hello to you, too. I hear that you've been having a bad day. Tell me about it."

Mattie filled in Harm on why her therapy had been hard, and Harm gave her a pep talk. Harm told Mattie that he'd call on Saturday to check on her before they said their goodbyes and ended the call.

After the call, Mattie's spirits seemed to be restored, and she asked new questions. "Do you know what kind of wedding you want? You know, big and fancy or small and simple."

"I haven't really thought much about it," Mac answered.

"Have you changed your mind about marrying Harm?"

Mac was surprised by the directness of the question and even more surprised that a denial didn't immediately roll off her tongue. She was searching her thoughts to form an answer when her phone rang.

After ending her call with General Cresswell, Mac recited the brief amount of information that she'd been given: she was leaving for somewhere after a meeting with the general. Mattie asked if she'd be able to call, and Mac explained that, depending on where the assignment was, it might not be possible for her to call, but she'd call if and when she could.

Mac hadn't done it before today, but she gave Mattie a hug before leaving. For Mattie, the hug seemed strange, but at the same time, comforting, and she welcomed it. For Mac, the hug seemed natural, so natural in fact that Mac hadn't even realized that she'd done it until she was on her way to meet the general.

The meeting with the general was short and yielded minimal new information. The SecNav had ordered the general to send her on this assignment. It was scheduled to be for two weeks, and she knew where she was going and where she'd be reporting by the time the general had handed her travel orders to her.

Petty Officer Coates had been called and would meet Mac at her apartment where Mac would pick up her gear for immediate departure, and the petty officer would then drive Mac to the airport.

While waiting for her flight to board, Mac wondered why she'd had to search for an answer to Mattie's question.

Had she changed her mind? She'd finally heard the words 'I love you' from the man with whom she'd been in love longer than she cared to admit. Why wouldn't she want to marry him? Had she just agreed because he'd asked? Is that why, when he'd mentioned rings, she'd felt uncomfortable?

Mac located her seat, secured her bag and then sat and clicked her seatbelt into place. Given her destination, she breathed a sigh of relief that there hadn't been time to call Mattie with an update. Mac had had no idea what she'd tell Mattie and had decided that she'd seek Harm's advice before talking to Mattie again.

As the plane taxied down the runway, Mac noted how quiet it was. She didn't think that she'd ever been on a flight that was so quiet. However, the stillness didn't allow her to mask the feelings of nervousness and uneasiness that she felt inside.

Mac had been aware of the uneasy feeling for several weeks, but the nervous feeling was new. Mac didn't hear the flight attendant's safety speech because her mind had begun to wander.

This assignment had come out of the blue and with very little information, reminding her too much of missions that Clayton Webb had gotten her and Harm involved in without giving them all the facts first. The SecNav ordering the general to send her added to her covert theory. Was she nervous that she'd see Webb again?

Even though she and Harm had finally come together, she and Clay did have unfinished business. Was facing that unfinished business with Webb making her nervous? That was a working theory for the nervousness, but it didn't explain the uneasiness that she'd felt when Harm had asked her about a ring or when he'd emailed her about places to live...or Mattie's question earlier.

With her flight up to cruising altitude, Mac pulled a book from her carry on bag. She looked at the book's cover.

She needed to quit reading spy novels. She needed to start reading murder mysteries or romance novels, she thought as she shook off the notion that the CIA was involved in her current assignment and opened her book to the marked page, but instead of reading, her mind struggled to resolve her internal conflict.

Her life had been so settled just a few weeks ago, she thought. She hadn't been happy, but she had been content to take her life in whatever direction it led her.

Mac remembered staring at her orders, pleased at the recognition and opportunity. When Harm had mentioned the flight time between Washington and San Diego, she'd felt sure that they'd keep in touch and that he was supporting her. Then, the other shoe had dropped. Harm was being reassigned, too. They were being separated and, to make matters worse, they had only three days left in the same country. She hadn't liked the thought of leaving, but maybe it was time, a chance for a clean start.

Mac had avoided saying goodbye to Harm, which had led her to go to his apartment. They'd needed to clear the air between them. Despite her occasional 'visions,' she hadn't seen the twist that fate had in store for her at his place.

That night was probably the best night of her life. He wanted to get married and he'd said that he loved her.

Reflecting on that night, she felt the happiness that she'd felt that evening. However, she was also reminded of the doubts that filled her, doubts that she didn't understand. She'd been in love with him for so long and, now that they were a couple, she felt uneasy in discussing 'them.'

The most recent example of this uneasiness had been an email about his fruitless trip to the Housing Office. His news that a weekend search for housing had produced no results had given her a sense of relief. Why?

Having realized that she wasn't reading anyway, Mac opted to put the book away. After slipping the book back into her bag, she looked out the window. The sky was clear, and they were flying above small patches of fluffy white clouds.

Mac stared out into the night sky. Flying above the clouds reminded her of her sailor, and the thought of him warmed her heart. She closed her eyes, but it wouldn't be a restful sleep into which she'd drift.

Mac would be brought out of her restless nap by the captain's voice announcing that it was time to prepare for arrival.

Mac's internal clock noted that she'd napped for five hours and seven minutes. Unlike her periods of slumber over the past weeks, she'd awakened knowing that she'd been reflecting on part of her life.

Mac was sure that her mind was trying to wrap itself around the cause of her nervous and uneasy feelings. She wished that she could remember more, hoping that the answers were hidden in her dreams. As she unbuckled her seat belt and reached for her carry on bag, she was filled with fear that the only person who could help her was Harm, and he was the last person to whom she wanted to confide her doubts.

There was no more time to consider her personal crisis when she entered the airport, because she could see a young corporal in his crisp Marine uniform, standing there waiting to drive her to the US Embassy where she was to meet with Colonel Bridges.


	10. Chapter 10

**PART TWO – Briefings, Meetings and A Call **

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2005  
**  
Once at the US Embassy, the young corporal showed Mac to the office of Colonel Bridges, who she'd be replacing for the next two weeks.

Her briefing with Colonel Bridges didn't last long. He informed her of the detected terrorist activity around the city and about the rumor that the US ambassador was one of their targets. Colonel Bridges' job, now hers, was to be present at meetings with various political figures and to listen and observe. Each of the attending dignitaries would bring a translator whom they trusted. However, the US wanted someone to listen to all parties to see if the translators were translating what was being said and vice versa.

Mac was given a list of the dignitaries, meeting dates and times. Having skimmed part of the list, Mac was going to comment on the fact that no meetings were listed for this Friday, but Colonel Bridges supplied her with an explanation before she'd finished perusing the list.

"You'll notice that there are no meetings on Friday - unless something arises, you can take that day off to sightsee or shop for a dress."

Mac looked up from the paper as Colonel Bridges, thinking that he may have offended the female Marine officer by implying that all women would want to buy a new dress for a special occasion, continued, "Of course, your dress uniform is acceptable attire for the ball here next Friday evening, but if you prefer, you may wear formal civilian attire. I'm sorry for assuming that you didn't come prepared for such an event."

Having given what he thought was an apology or at least an explanation of his previous comment, Colonel Bridges concluded the briefing with, "You can ask Major Johnson for any details about the day to day operations or the ball on Friday. He pretty much runs the show around here. I'm just in charge. He's a good right hand man and an excellent Marine. Hell, if he spoke anything other than English, he'd probably have my job, so any questions, just ask the major. I know that I've run through things quickly, but you weren't promoted to lieutenant colonel by being spoon-fed. Besides, someone has high regard for your abilities because I was told that you could run with the ball. I don't have time for a longer briefing. My flight home leaves in less than three hours…emergency leave. My mother is ill, and I don't intend to miss my flight."

"Understood, Colonel," Mac said in response to Colonel Bridges.

The colonel reached his office door. "Corporal Jennings will show you to your quarters so you can freshen up or, since you traveled overnight, you might want to get a couple of hours of shut eye while your embassy identification badge and card are being prepared."

Colonel Bridges opened the door, and the corporal, in his crisp uniform, appeared as if on cue.

"Ma'am, I'm taking Colonel Bridges to the airport, so if you don't mind, we need to hurry. If you'll follow me, ma'am." The corporal started to move out of the office and down a corridor. "You've been assigned to quarters here in the embassy, ma'am," he said with a faint hint of surprise.

"Is that unusual, Corporal?" Mac asked.

"I'm not sure, ma'am. I know that you're the only Marine that I've ever shown to quarters here. Usually, visiting politicians, like Senators, Congressman or ambassadors stay inside the embassy, but I've been stationed here for only a month, ma'am, so maybe it isn't unusual. It's just that this is the first time that it's happened since I've been here, ma'am."

Mac nodded in understanding before the corporal spoke again, sounding apologetic because he already liked the temporary replacement. "Ma'am, you'll be restricted to quarters until you have proper credentials. Upon my return, I'll make sure that you've received your ID's and take you to meet with Major Johnson. Major Johnson said that he'd send for you if he needs you before I return. Do you have any questions, ma'am?"

They'd made several turns and had gone down several halls before climbing two flights of stairs and reaching a large, heavy, wooden door. The corporal pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

"Don't let the dungeon looking door fool you, ma'am. The room's nice. I've already brought up your bag, ma'am." He pushed the door open, and Mac's eyes fell on a beautiful room.

Mac followed appropriate military protocol and dismissed the corporal so that he could report back to Colonel Bridges to take him to the airport.

Mac was tired, but she was drawn to check on one thing before she could take a nap.

Yes, there was a bathtub! The room was perfect.

Mac unpacked her uniforms to prevent wrinkling and tried to take a nap, but the bathtub called to her. She hadn't had a bath since moving into Harm's 'shower only' apartment.

Mac soaked in the warm water, thinking that, on Friday, she'd pick up some bubble bath or oil and enjoy this tub a few more times before going back to showers only - the thought of showers only not being so bad if she wasn't showering alone caused a grin to spread across her face. Showering with Harm wouldn't be bad at all.

After her bath, she did try to sleep, but to no avail. Her bath had relaxed her, but it had inadvertently brought up the burning question: why did she feel so uneasy about life with Harm when it was so easy to picture being in the shower with him? Her emotions simply made no sense to her, so how could she explain them to anyone, especially Harm?

Another feeling gnawing at her insides was about this assignment. It seemed simple and safe, but she couldn't shake the feeling of danger that she felt.

Having given up on getting any sleep, Mac had gotten up and dressed, so she was ready to get to work when she heard the knock on her door.

Mac opened the door to see the Marine corporal, whom she'd met earlier, standing there.

"If you're ready, ma'am, we'll pick up your embassy ID before you meet with Major Johnson."

"Lead the way, Corporal."

"Yes, ma'am."

They came down the stairs and through a narrow hallway that they hadn't been in before. They stopped at a yellow door, and the corporal knocked. Someone opened the door from the inside and granted them entry.

Inside the small room, Mac was given an ID badge and a map.

When she looked at the map, the older woman must have seen something in Mac's facial expression, or thought she did, because the woman spoke in a hateful tone. "Yes, the embassy is larger. We give you a map that includes the places that you need to know about. For you, that page is the entire embassy. You may roam the grounds, which include a lovely garden and a chapel, any time between sun up and sun down. Any questions?"

"No, Ma'am," Mac replied.

They went back out the way they'd come in. As they walked, the corporal felt the need to explain the behavior of the older woman along the way.

"Ma'am, please forgive Mrs. Burns. She's worked in this embassy for thirty years. She lost her husband of thirty-five years to cancer about three months ago and they tell me that her bubbly personality went along with him. They've tried to get her to retire, but she says that, without him, she needs something to do or she'd have to live with cats, and she hates cats."

Both the corporal and Mac laughed at the woman's reasoning.

When they finally arrived at Major Johnson's office, the corporal knocked and announced their arrival.

After being granted entry into his office, Major Johnson quickly dismissed the corporal, and Mac's meeting with the major began.

Major Johnson gave Mac an overview of the day to day operations of the Marines present at the embassy compound.

Mac had no reason to want to rock the boat with Major Johnson, and since she'd be in meetings most of the time, it was reasonable to have the major continue to run things the way he had been for Colonel Bridges.

In the limited time that she met with Major Johnson, Mac could tell that he was the kind who thought that women might be in uniform, but that they didn't have 'the stuff' to be leaders.

At one point during their meeting, Mac had given thought to demonstrating her superior rank by ordering him to her office, but her instincts said that she should go along with the established program, at least for now.

Again, young Corporal Jennings arrived on cue at the conclusion of her meeting. "I'll show you the way back to your office, ma'am."

"Lead the way, Corporal." Mac wasn't sure why, but she was developing a soft spot for Corporal Jennings.

As they made their way to Colonel Bridges and now her office, it dawned on her why she liked the corporal. He reminded her of a young Bud Roberts with a bit of…who was that corporal on that TV show about military doctors during the Korean War who'd come in before being called and get things for the CO before he was asked for them?

They stopped momentarily at the reception area where a tall, attractive blonde woman in her late twenties sat behind a desk. She was Colonel Bridges secretary, but hadn't been at her desk when Mac had met with the colonel earlier.

The woman stood to greet her temporary boss. "You must be Colonel MacKenzie," she stated, extending her hand. It was good to be a civilian. She didn't have to salute any one.

When the woman stood, Mac noticed the women's figure. She was Mac's height, but looked too thin - a man would notice that she didn't have Mac's curves either.

"This is Lorna Appleton, ma'am," Corporal Jennings said as Mac grasped the woman's hand.

After the introduction and a polite welcoming from Lorena, it was time for Mac to get to work.

Corporal Jennings opened the door, and Mac entered the room that was to be her office during this assignment.

Mac seated herself behind the desk, and the corporal handed her what appeared to be a handful of laminated pieces of paper. "If you have time, ma'am, I'll explain which card or ID to use when, ma'am."

The corporal began to explain the badges in his hands. "This one should be attached to your person..." He pointed to his. "...and worn at all times while inside the working section of the embassy."

Mac used the attached clip to attach it to her uniform while the corporal continued, "This card is the one that you'll show if you're stopped by a patrol in the living quarters. It has your room information on it."

The corporal was enthusiastic about security, but Mac interrupted the young man. "I'm sorry, Corporal. I know that all of this is very important. I don't take security lightly, but I haven't eaten since last night, Washington time, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate. Do I have a badge, card, something that will get me out of the embassy for lunch?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. I should have made arrangements for you to get breakfast while I was out." He shuffled the badges until the right one appeared. "This one, ma'am, is the one that you'll have to show to get back in the gates. No badge is required to leave the premises, ma'am."

"Thank you, Corporal."

"Ma'am, there are several cafes within walking distance, but it's recommended that you don't wear your uniform outside the compound, ma'am."

"I'll tell you what, Corporal. There must be some way to get a snack or some kind junk food for now. After a snack, I'll get some work done and go out for a big dinner. What time does the major secure, Corporal?" Mac wasn't going to leave before the major. She wasn't going to do anything that would support his theory about women in uniform.

"Major Johnson usually secures at 1630, ma'am. Sometimes he'll secure earlier if Colonel Bridges leaves early. It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while, the colonel will find someone to play golf with him, and he'll secure early to get in eighteen holes."

The corporal stopped talking long enough to catch his breath. "Did you want to go out for a snack or do you want me to get you something and bring it to you, ma'am?"

"Since I haven't learned my way around this place yet, it might be faster if you rounded up something for me this time...if you don't mind, and when you get back, you can finish giving me my security briefing."

"I'll be back in a jiffy, ma'am," the corporal said before leaving to carrying out his task of rounding up something for the colonel to eat.

Mac was right. Once she'd gotten something in her stomach, she was better able to focus.

After allowing the corporal to finish telling her about her ID's and badges, Mac skimmed through the files that were on the desk and checked the list of meetings again that Colonel Bridges had given her.

The meeting tomorrow was with a Prime Minister from an African country that Mac was ashamed to admit that she hadn't heard of. The Prime Minister spoke English, and no translators would be present. She'd be an observer, and her uniform would be proper attire.

During a break from reading the statistics on the African country, including what they imported and exported, how much rain they got in an average year and other statistical information, to rest her eyes, she decided that it was time to make a call.

Mac reached for her cell phone and remembered that, according to her security briefing, its use was prohibited in the working areas of the embassy.

Mac buzzed Ms. Appleton and said that she wanted to make arrangements for dinner outside the embassy. Lorna said that she'd be happy to make any arrangements, but Mac said that she'd prefer to make the arrangements herself.

After getting dialing instructions, such as having to dial nine before the number, Mac was ready to make a call to see about getting company for dinner.

Mac dialed carefully and then sat back in the chair, a playful smile gracing her face.

Petty Officer William (Will) Banks buzzed Captain Rabb and announced a call from a Lt. Colonel MacKenzie.

A grin spread across Harm's face. He'd talked to her only yesterday and now she was calling him again. Then concern washed over him, and his smile faded. Mac might be calling about Mattie. He placed the receiver to his ear and pushed the flashing button on the desk phone.

"Hello, Colonel. I hope this call isn't bad news," Harm stated in an even voice.

"I don't think it's bad."

"So everything with Mattie is okay?" Harm asked, sounding relieved.

Mac realized what he must be thinking and decided that she shouldn't drag this call out for her amusement.

"When I left yesterday, she was in good spirits. I'm not sure how she's doing at the moment. That's one of the reasons for my call. I want your advice on how or even if I should tell her where the Corps has sent me this time."

Now he was concerned about Mac. Where had they sent her? He knew that she was a good Marine, but even the good ones can get killed.

"You said that was one of the reasons why you called. There's another reason?" Harm managed to maintain a calm voice as he spoke.

"The other reason why I called was to see if you could give me the advice that I need over dinner."

"I'd love to give you advice over dinner, but isn't that impossible if you're… Where are you, Mac?"

"I'm working at the US Embassy...in a country that you may have heard of before, the United Kingdom, or some prefer to call it Great Britain."

Harm could hear the 'gotcha' tone in her voice. He had to take in a deep breath to keep playing it cool. "Yes, I have heard of the place. This embassy wouldn't be in a city called London now, would it?"

"Yes, Captain, I believe it is." She stifled back a giggle.

Though Mac thought that she'd be able to secure earlier, she made sure that she had plenty of time by telling Harm 1730, and they agreed to meet at 1830 at a restaurant that Harm had stumbled across this past weekend while looking for housing.

Mac continued to read files and hoped that she'd remember at least half of what she read tomorrow when she met the Prime Minister.

Major Johnson came to Mac's office to give her the daily reports at 1600.

There was a knock on Mac's office door at 1645. It was Lorna.

Lorna had knocked on the colonel's door twice previously, once to ask the colonel if it was okay for her to take lunch and the other to ask if she could go to tea as she usually did.

This time, she was here to see if she was needed for anything else or if she could leave for the day on time.

"I usually leave at five, Colonel, unless you need something else," Lorna stated, but it sounded like a question to Mac.

"No, Ms. Appleton. I think we're done for the day." Mac started to close file folders on her desk. "If you'd be so kind as to wait for a few minutes, though, it might be easier for you to point me down the correct hallway than for me to try to read a map after all the other reading that I've done today." Mac said the latter while pointing at the file folders on the desk.

"I can wait, and please call me Lorna."

Mac opened her office door six minutes and forty-two seconds later, closing it and checking to make sure that it was locked. "Lorna, thanks for waiting. I'm ready."

"Yes, ma'am, follow me," Lorna said cheerfully.

After a few steps, Mac decided that there was no reason for a quiet walk. "I understand that I have a ball to attend next Friday...any suggestions on where I might get a dress?"

The two women walked while Lorna gushed about where to shop for dresses and shoes until they reached a large open area, a foyer of some sort.

"This is where you and I go our separate ways. Just follow this hall." Lorna was pointing down the corridor directly across from where they were standing. "It will take you to the living quarters."

Mac checked to make sure that she had her ID badges within easy reach before she wished Lorna a good evening and the ladies parted company.

Mac crossed the foyer and was about to enter the hall when she heard Corporal Jennings speak.

"Colonel MacKenzie, would you like for me to show you the way to your quarters, ma'am?"

"No, Corporal. I'm going to try to manage, but thank you for the offer."

The young man looked wounded, and before Mac had time to think about it, more words came out of her mouth. "You could, however, tell me the easiest way to get a taxi. I'm going to dinner and I'm too jet lagged to walk this evening."

The bright, ready to serve smile returned to the young man's face. "What time would you like to depart, ma'am? I'll call for a taxi."

"That would be wonderful, Corporal, thank you. At 1800, if that gives you sufficient time to make the call."

"Yes, ma'am. It'll be done." With that, the corporal was gone like a rocket.

Mac found her way to her room, freshened her make up, changed and was back at exactly 1800 to find her cab waiting.


	11. Chapter 11

**PART THREE – Dinner **

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2005**

Excited to see Mac and unable to stop pacing his quarters, Harm left for the restaurant and arrived at 1800 - a full half-hour early.

Harm ordered a drink to calm his nerves while he waited. As he worked on emptying the glass of bourbon that he'd ordered, he wondered why he was nervous. He'd had dinner with Mac lots of times. There was no reason to be nervous, he thought before a grin started to form on his face. He'd had dinner with Mac, the Marine, his friend, but never with Mac, his future bride.

Harm was staring off into space, wondering why and for how long Mac was going to be in London and hoping that tonight wouldn't be the only night that he got to be with her when his "Mac sense" alerted him that she was near.

Harm looked towards the door and saw her walking towards him. Their eyes met, and they smiled warmly at each other. The urge to run into the other's arms was held easily in check because of their years of practice, but they never broke eye contact.

Mac reached the table where he was sitting, and he stood as they exchanged the same "hey" and quick brushing of the lips in greeting the way they'd done at McMurphy's weeks ago.

Soon after Mac arrived, so did the waiter with menus and to get Mac's drink order before he disappeared.

As Mac scanned the menu, his eyes could focus on nothing but her. He knew that he'd missed her, but this was ridiculous. He was acting like a love struck teenager who had little more than one thing on his mind.

Once the waiter had taken their order and whisked away the menus, Harm looked into her eyes.

"Do you want advice now or later?" Harm asked, hoping that engaging in a conversation would snap him out of his adolescent mode and focus on having a nice dinner with the woman he loved, like an adult.

"Now is fine." Mac paused for a moment. "I told Mattie that, while I was on assignment, I'd call if I could, but that was before I knew that I was coming here. She's struggling enough. I don't know what damage might be caused to her recovery if she finds out that I was able to see you when she can't, so I don't know if I should call her."

"I guess my advice depends partly on if you're doing something classified or not."

"What I'm doing is, but too many people know where I am for my location to be classified," Mac answered, curious as to why it mattered for his answer.

"Then it makes it a little tricky because, if you tell her where you are, she'll be curious about what you're doing, and you can't tell her." Harm paused for a moment to give the situation some thought.

"I'd say that, since the two of you have been trying to establish a relationship, a call to Mattie to say that you've arrived safely would be in order," Harm began. "As to whether you should tell her where you are, I think that, if she asks you, you should tell her. If that leads her to ask what you're doing here, you should be truthful and tell her that you can't divulge that. If she doesn't ask where you are, then I think it might be best to wait to tell her where you've been when you're there with her to gauge her reaction to the news that you were in London."

Moments after Harm had dispensed his wisdom, the waiter arrived with their meals and placed them in front them. Harm's dinner smelled delicious, but he didn't want to take his eyes off of Mac in order to eat. It took him a few moments before he could force himself to look down at his plate and pick up his fork.

When the first fork full neared Harm's mouth, he realized that he was staring at her again. He was really feeling and acting like a smitten schoolboy, he thought as he pushed his fork into his mouth.

During dinner, Mac asked Harm about work, and he asked if she'd heard anything about the Joint Legal Services project. After telling him that she'd heard nothing new about JLS, she told him about getting a call from Cresswell while she was visiting Mattie, about her overnight flight across the Atlantic and going straight to work when she arrived here.

After the table was cleared of their dessert plates, Harm still had some questions that he wanted to ask, but if what she was doing was classified, he needed to seek the information without being too direct. The questions that he wanted answers to were: how long she was going to be in town, if she thought that they'd be able to see each other again while she was here and was she staying somewhere that would allow them to spend the night together.

"Are you staying in a room that's big enough for two?" Harm asked suggestively. Well, there went being indirect and getting his mind off that one track.

"I'm sorry, Harm. I'd love to spend the night in your arms, but I'm staying inside the embassy, and security is so tight that I couldn't sneak an ant into my room without being caught," Mac said with a chuckle.

"You're staying in the embassy and not in quarters on the grounds with the other Marines? Isn't that a little unusual?" Harm asked.

"Well, I questioned that, too, and the corporal who's been helping me said that he didn't know of any other military personnel who'd been assigned a room inside the embassy, but that's where I am, nevertheless," Mac explained.

"I was hoping that we could spend our nights together, but I can't very well take you to the BOQ with me either. Now I really wish that I'd found someplace to rent last weekend," Harm said with a sigh.

"Harm, we'll be together as soon as we can be, I promise," Mac said, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand.

"Would you have any time to come by to check out my office? I'd even be willing to buy you lunch." Harm had struck out with an overnight visit, so he was fishing for information about being able to at least see her again, but his tone was more that of a lawyer than a boyfriend or a fiancé.

Mac played coy. "Are you suggesting a date, sir?" Her voice had a playful lilt.

Harm heard the playfulness and tried to match it in his reply. "Yes, ma'am, I believe I am."

"I'll be free on Friday. I have the day off. Will you be able to get away for lunch?" Mac asked.

"I'll make sure that I'm able to get away."

She smiled at him in anticipation. "Then it's a date. If I come by around noon, is that good?"

"Noon is good." He paused. "Is your schedule full or do you have some time before Friday?"

Mac giggled, and he looked at her. He didn't understand why wanting to see her was so funny.

"Are you trying to speed date?" He looked puzzled, so she elaborated. "This dinner makes only two dates that we've ever had, and now you want to squeeze in one tomorrow before our lunch on Friday."

She was messing with him, and he knew it, but he had to try to defend himself. "We've had dinner more than twice before, Mac."

"I didn't say two dinners. I said two dates, tonight and the date in Sydney. Any other dinners we were working…can't count those as dates," she said with a shake of her head. "Of course, the one in Sydney probably shouldn't count either. We did go to a crime scene and act out the crime scenario." She paused and watched him squirm for a few moments. "After consideration, I'll allow it to be called a date. It wasn't our case. It was yours. I was on leave, so I'll let you have that one, but I don't have to say that it was a good date."

"Oh, I see." Harm raised an eyebrow. "I have to know then, Ms. MacKenzie, what makes a good date? Since first dates are usually awkward, they aren't really known for standing out in one's mind as a good date, so I'd have to pose the question, is the first date ever really a good one?"

"Well, Mr. Rabb, I didn't say that the date didn't stand out in my mind. I mean crime reenactment and you turning me down cold certainly made it memorable."

"Wait a minute. I didn't turn you down cold. I said not yet."

"Please explain the difference," Mac urged.

"Turning you down cold would mean that I hadn't thought about it or that I didn't want anything to happen. I said not yet meaning that I'd thought about it, but didn't think that the timing was right. Your defense to which was 'we weren't in Washington any more, we weren't even on the same continent'. That said to me that you hadn't thought it through. We weren't in Washington, but we'd both be going back there, and I didn't want anything to happen in Sydney that we couldn't continue when we got back," Harm explained.

Her stomach had butterflies. "You'd thought about us back then?" she asked.

Harm looked her in the eye, hoping to clear up any misunderstanding that had been created on the ferry that night. She'd really thought that he hadn't been interested in her, hadn't she?

"Yes, I'd thought about us." Harm sighed. "I guess I know why you went to Mic so fast now. You thought that he was the only one who wanted you. That isn't what I meant at all."

Harm looked hurt. Mac hadn't wanted to upset him or make him feel remorseful about it. She hadn't thought about that night in Sydney Harbor and the hurt associated with it in a long time. She didn't know why she'd allowed herself to bring up the subject now, and she quickly became lost in thought.

Unsure of what was going on inside that pretty head of hers, Harm just watched her for a few moments. Eventually, he'd be the one to break the silence that had fallen over them.

"I guess we've established that I'm a lousy first date and that I don't always make myself clear, at least with you. I'm not sure with the way the night's going so far that you're going to think that I'm much of a second date either."

Mac flashed him a reassuring smile. "Then I hope that lucky number three is going to be really something. I don't know what time I'll be able to get away tomorrow, so I'll call you as soon as I know if I can make dinner tomorrow night."

Harm had just acknowledged his understanding of her schedule when the waiter appeared with the check, and Harm promptly paid it.

They made quite a nice looking pair standing together on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. Harm had worn slacks with a casual shirt and sports jacket, and Mac's outfit mimicked his look with slacks, a tank top and tailored jacket.

Mac took in a few deep breaths of the fresh air before pulling out her cell phone. She wanted to make a call to Mattie before she and Harm parted company for the evening. Mac knew that it wouldn't help Mattie, but it would help her to have Harm near when she called in case she said the wrong thing or needed more advice on what to say to her.

Harm could hear Mac's side of the call. "Hi, Mattie"…"I made it safe and sound."…"I'm working on a project that I can't tell you about."… "Yeah, I'm in someplace pretty safe."…"I should be back soon, about two weeks."… "Yeah, I'd better go."…"Bye"

Mac handled the call like a pro. Out in the brighter light of the street lamps as opposed to the softer light of the restaurant, Harm could see that Mac looked tired. It's probably a result of her red eye flight, Harm thought.

"No one gets any restful sleep on a plane, so why don't we call it a night? The embassy is only a few blocks this way," Harm said, grasping her arm and turning her in the correct direction.

"I'm really tired tonight and I don't think that I feel up to walking even a few feet let alone a few blocks, so, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a taxi back to the embassy," Mac said with a yawn.

"I'll ride with you," Harm said, pulling her close.

In the taxi, they sat spaced apart, but when he reached for her hand, she didn't pull away. The ride wasn't long, enabling her to resist the impulse to lay her head on his shoulder.

When the taxi pulled up in front of the embassy, Harm started to exit the taxi, but Mac gripped his hand tightly. "You don't have to get out. You can see the gate from here," she said smiling at him.

He smiled back. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again, so I do hope that you can get away for dinner tomorrow evening."

"I'll let you know." Mac got out before the taxi driver opened her door.

Mac released Harm's hand, climbing out of the taxi too quickly for him to kiss her.

Harm told the driver to wait until Mac disappeared behind the gates of the embassy.

Harm chuckled to himself as the taxi pulled away from the curb. If this was only their second date, maybe a kiss wasn't the gentlemanly thing to do.

Back at his quarters, Harm lay in bed for several hours without falling asleep, thinking about this dating thing that Mac had brought up.

Harm thought that surely in nine years they'd had more than two dates. He'd think of something, but have to dismiss it. For instance: he'd taken her flying once, but he dismissed that one. Even if he got her to allow it to be called a date, it wouldn't be any better of a memory - getting shot in the leg by poachers - than the one that she counted as their first date.

Harm would come up with something that they'd done together, like going to see Mattie, but in the end, he had to agree that none of them could really be called dates.

Harm drifted to sleep without ever coming up with any 'real dates' of which to remind her.

Mac fell asleep, thinking about their discussion of Sydney Harbor. She woke after less than three hours of sleep, but feeling better knowing that Harm had wanted her that night in Sydney.

**THURSDAY, APRIL 21, 2005  
**  
Mac had called late in the afternoon and asked Harm to meet her at the same place for dinner.

This time it was Mac who arrived first. She was seated when he arrived at the restaurant, though not at the table that they'd occupied last night.

The lighting at the table location tonight lit Mac's face differently than last night, and, when he'd reached her, Harm could tell that she'd tried to conceal the dark circles under her eyes with makeup.

Mac was surprised when he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek instead of the lips like last night to greet her.

Their dinner conversation revolved around Harm's search for housing. He talked about his unsuccessful search last weekend, describing one place as the illusion house. He said that the entry door was fine, but once inside, he had to duck or he'd hit his head on every doorway in the place.

Mac laughed. "How many times did you forget to duck before you were able to get out of the place?"

Oh, her laugh, her smile, how he'd miss them, he thought.

"I'm not sure. If I thought you could still see them, I'd let you count the number of lumps on my head to get a number," Harm answered.

Mac stifled another laugh. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Harm said with a smile.

Mac was feeling a lot better and more at ease until Harm sprang news on her that she wasn't ready for, causing that uneasy feeling to flow through her once more as Harm told her that he'd made arrangements for them to see three apartments tomorrow when they went to lunch. He gave her the brief descriptions that had been given to him about each place, as well as his hopes that they'd find one that they liked while she was here.

Mac seemed to lose interest in either dinner or him part way through their date - so much for the third date being a good one - so Harm wasn't surprised when Mac ate hardly anything or when she wanted to cut the evening short, saying that she was tired and wanted to go back to the embassy to see if she could get some sleep.

Harm didn't want the evening to end so early, but he couldn't dispute the fact that she was tired because he could see it in her eyes, so he was willing to get a taxi and take her.

Since he suspected that he'd done something to upset her, he was surprised when Mac said that she didn't think that she had the energy to walk to the embassy alone and asked him to escort her. He was even more surprised when, once they were outside the restaurant, she slipped her arm around his waist.

She must not be too upset with me if she wants to be close to me, he thought as his arm went around her and, in response, she leaned against his side.

They walked until Mac stopped abruptly on the sidewalk just as the fence of the embassy compound came into view, but nowhere near the entry gates. Her arm dropped to her side, and she turned to face him, but he spoke first.

"Mac, are you okay?" Harm asked.

"I'm just tired."

"What can I do?" Harm pleaded, his concern evident in his voice.

"I feel better just knowing that you care." Mac looked up at him with such sadness in her eyes.

He risked the possibility of injury and placed a quick peck of a kiss on her lips. "I care very much."

Mac stepped into him, his arms immediately seizing the opportunity to embrace her. His warmth surrounded her, and she felt lighter as she felt his lips place a kiss on the top of her head.

Harm held her, just thankful for the contact. She tilted her head back and, when her eyes met his, he couldn't help himself. His lips moved towards hers until their lips met.

The kiss was sweet and loving, lasting long enough that the participants knew that they'd shared something and short enough that they weren't making a public scene.

When the kiss ended, she pulled from his embrace.

"I'm still to come to your office tomorrow at noon for lunch, right?"

"Yes, my office at noon, and we'll have lunch," he replied.

Mac put her hand in his and started to walk again until they were near the entrance of the embassy, at which point they stopped, said good night and shared a brief touching of the lips before Mac entered the embassy compound, hoping to find sleep tonight.

While in Washington, Mac had thought that her sleeplessness had been caused by missing Harm, but she'd seen him, and sleeping in London wasn't any easier. In fact, it seemed worse here because, here she'd get to sleep, but her sleep had been more restless, and she'd wake even more tired than when she'd gone to bed.

Tonight, Mac had gathered strength from being in his arms, even if it had been for a brief time, and his kiss had eased some of her feelings of anxiety or confusion. She wasn't sure what to call it. In this more relaxed state, she managed to drift to sleep quickly, but tonight would be no different. She'd wake and check her internal clock to find that she'd slept for three hours and twelve minutes, and the relaxed feeling that she'd had when she'd lain down was gone. 


	12. Chapter 12

**PART FOUR – ****DATING**

**FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005**

The knee length, floral print sundress with an empire waist got the attention of the men on staff the instant that she came in. The men were eager to help the beautiful woman and gladly showed her to the outer office of their CO when she told them that she had a noon appointment with Captain Rabb.

Harm's intercom buzzed at 1141, and PO Banks announced the arrival of his noon appointment. Harm knew that it had to be Mac because his yeoman had apparently forgotten to ask the person for a name. Harm told the petty officer to send her in before making his way across the floor to meet her at the door.

Harm gave Mac a few moments to look around his office before they left. After they'd left the building, he led Mac over to a little car.

Harm opened the passenger door and let her get settled in before he moved to the other side. He knew that, once he got in, her first question would be about the car.

"Harm, where did you get this car?

Harm smiled at knowing that he knew her so well that he'd known that she was going to ask him that.

Harm explained that he'd purchased the car from an outgoing staff member about ten days ago. The officer selling the car had been happy to be going back to where people drove on the right side of the road, and he'd had no use for the car anymore. The officer had said that buying the car from someone who was leaving was how he'd gotten it and that they might as well keep circulating it until the car died or the Navy left London.

Harm and Mac went to look at the apartments first. They held hands as much as space would allow while touring each one. The first place was okay. It didn't have any obvious flaws, but it didn't feel right. The second one was beautiful, and the bathroom had a tub, but the owner had transformed the second bedroom into more of a den, and it wouldn't work for Mattie, primarily because it had no closet. The third place was a nice three-bedroom. Though the third bedroom was small and there was no tub, it did have a fireplace.

Harm wasn't sure how Mac felt about any of the places, so he told the agent that they'd talk the options over and he'd get back to her by Monday. Before letting the agent get away, he asked her about the location of the dress shop that Mac had mentioned last night at dinner. He also asked if she had any suggestions of where his fiancée might be able to find a dress. The agent was happy to supply him with the answers to both of his inquiries.

After the apartments were toured, he took her to a café, and they opted to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. After ordering, Harm had a chance to see Mac in the sunlight and realized that not sleeping wasn't her only problem. She'd lost weight, too.

While enjoying her company the past couple of nights in a dimly lit restaurant and outside under the shadowy light of streetlamps, he hadn't been sure, but seeing her in the bright sunlight and in a form fitting dress versus her slacks and jackets of the last two evenings, he was sure - she'd lost weight.

After receiving their lunch order, Harm spoke. "You don't look like you slept well last night."

"A bad bout of jet lag, I guess." She didn't want to confess that she hadn't had much sleep in weeks, so she diverted his attention. "I was told that I shouldn't go out in uniform, but you're wearing yours."

He noted the change of subject. If the subject of sleep was off limits, then her weight loss probably was, too.

"There's no standing order prohibiting a person in the military from wearing a uniform, though for safety's sake, it is recommended that you don't wear your uniform off military posts or U.S. properties, such as the embassy. I don't wear my uniform around town often, but sometimes, like today, it's easier to wear it than to change into civvies and then change back."

Harm did manage to get her to talk about the apartments that they'd looked at today. It wasn't so much what she said, but what she didn't say about each one that led him to a decision. He'd make a call about it this afternoon.

Mac, knowing that Harm would soon have to return to work, asked if he might have to work this weekend. Harm said that he didn't think so. She informed him that she was off for the weekend, but had a busy week coming up and that she had a dress to buy before next Friday's embassy ball.

"You need to buy a dress, huh?" Harm asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry that I can't invite you to attend, but, because of security concerns, I was informed that I can't invite a guest," Mac explained.

"Well, that's okay. I understand," Harm replied.

Unbeknown to Mac, Colonel Bridges had invited Harm to attend before his trip, and Harm had decided not to go since Colonel Bridges wasn't expected to be back in time for the ball, but now that Mac was going to be there, he decided not to tell her that he'd already been invited and attend to surprise her.

"Thanks, I appreciate your understanding," Mac said sincerely.

"I have a suggestion. Since you didn't sleep well, I'll drop you off at the embassy, and perhaps you can get in a nap before dinner. We can go out to dinner tonight, and, tomorrow, I'll pick you up early, take you to breakfast and then take you shopping. Interested?"

"Definitely," Mac answered.

Mac had agreed to dinner tonight and breakfast in the morning before going shopping with him. However, Mac asked him to drop her off a few blocks from the embassy, insisting that a walk in the fresh air might help her get to sleep.

Harm did as she requested and pulled the car over a few blocks from the embassy. She casually brushed her lips over his cheek before exiting the car and said that she'd meet him at the restaurant for dinner. He watched her walk towards the embassy before pulling away, thinking about her odd behavior - how she seemed to be enamored with him one moment and then seemed to be a million miles away from him the next. There was definitely something going on with her, and he was beginning to think that it didn't have to do with her lack of sleep.

Mac had left an overnight bag with the guard at the embassy before going to meet Harm for lunch. When she reached the embassy gate, Mac made sure that Harm had driven away before she retrieved the bag and got into a taxi. She had a few things that she wanted to do before she could think about taking a nap.

Mac stopped at a shop and bought some bubble bath and bath oil before going to check into a hotel that she'd picked from an online list. After checking in, she went to the room and left her overnight and shopping bag. She stayed long enough to consider taking a nap there instead of returning to the embassy, but she was afraid that, if the bed was too comfortable, she'd fall asleep and wouldn't wake in time for her date with Harm.

With her errands almost completed, Mac went to some other places and accomplished her goals before returning to the embassy to take that nap.

Mac got in a thirty-one minute nap before she had to get up to freshen up and change for her dinner date with Harm. After all these years, a date with Harm - how wonderful that sounded to her.

Mac had insisted on meeting him at the restaurant, but Harm had been just as insistent that they not go to the same restaurant as the past two nights.

Dressed in a dark gray suit with a light blue shirt and dark blue tie, Harm arrived before her.

In a dark blue dress just a shade or two lighter than the color of his tie, Mac arrived a few minutes after he'd been seated.

As Mac approached the table, Harm stood to greet her, kissing her cheek in greeting before reaching to pluck a wrapped bundle of baby's breath nestled around a single red rose from its place of rest on the table.

Rendered temporarily speechless by the gesture, Mac took the bundle carefully. This was a romantic side of him that she hadn't seen before and didn't know existed. He heard a soft "thank you" as she sat down.

Harm didn't want to ruin another date, so he didn't talk about apartments or rings and, somehow, they managed to avoid work conversation during dinner, too. Harm did talk about Mattie's last email, which was an update on school, and that she'd asked if he'd heard from Mac.

Mac talked about possibly joining her secretary, Lorna, for tea during the coming week to sample some of the culture while she was here. Mac also talked about the weather.

Between eating and the conversation, dinner seemed to be over too soon.

Harm hadn't brought the car and, after exiting the restaurant, Mac inquired as to its location.

"The car is so small that it's hard for me to get in and out of it, so I prefer to walk or use public transportation to most places, but the car comes in handy sometimes," he informed her as he slipped his arm around her waist.

They took a few strides towards the embassy and then, concerned that she might be tired, Harm asked. "Did you want to get a taxi?"

"No, but I would like to know if you have any plans for the rest of the evening, Captain," Mac said seductively.

Okay, the way that she'd just said captain was equivalent to the way that she said sailor, he thought.

"No, ma'am, I don't have any plans for this evening. Why do you ask?" Harm replied curiously.

"Then may I suggest that we turn around and go the other way? That is, if you'd be interested in spending the night with me." She understood the arch of his eyebrow to be a question and answered. "The hotel room that I booked for the weekend after we had lunch today is in the other direction." A devilish grin appeared on his face, and he spun them around. Mac let out a chuckle. "I take it that means that you'd like to join me."

His grin got bigger. "I would."

"You do realize that this doesn't get you out of taking me shopping tomorrow, don't you?" Mac teased.

The idea of being not only in the same city but in the same room had them walking to their destination with a spring in their step.

As soon as the door to their room shut behind them, Mac noticed her bag sitting on a shelf near the bathroom. "I thought you might have a travel bag in your car, but since you didn't bring the car - you don't have any clothes for the weekend. I didn't plan this operation very well, did I?"

"I think getting the room was the tactical part of the plan, and you know what they say…Marines need to improvise and overcome obstacles that arise during an operation." His big smile let her know that he was teasing her. "I'll go to my quarters to pick up a few things in the morning. That way, I can bring the car back for shopping." He shrugged his shoulders as he said, "See, no problem with your plan." Then he opened his arms to her.

Mac went into his arms, resting her head against his chest as his arms enveloped her. She knew that she needed to tell him about the uneasiness that she felt every time he tried to solidify their future, whether it was talking about rings or apartments, but since the reasons for her doubts weren't clear to her, she didn't know how to effectively communicate her feelings to him. Along with her doubts, there was a fear that, whatever was holding her back from moving forward with him, it would cause a rift between them, and what they currently had would disappear. She no longer feared him leaving her as a friend, but losing his love would be worse than any rift that they'd ever had in the past.

When Mac looked up at Harm to speak, her fear that any discussion of her feelings would cause him to pull away, she opted to remain silent so as not to risk losing the closeness that she currently had with him. Craving more contact, her lips sought his.

The kiss that Mac delivered was one of need, the need to be supported and cared for. When she eased the kiss, Harm pulled her immediately into another one. The kiss that Harm delivered was one of caring and desire, and ended because of the need for oxygen.

Harm's embrace loosened slightly, causing her to look up. He looked into her eyes. "I've wanted to kiss you like that for days."

Mac slipped her arms around his waist and gave him a gentle squeeze before her lips found his once again. This time, her tongue eased out and skimmed his lower lip, asking for entrance, which he granted.

After the tongue-tangling kiss, Harm wasn't sure what he should do, but he recognized the need to do something.

Harm needed a few minutes to work this problem out in his head, but how could he get away from her to think without making it seem like he was backing away? He stepped back from her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Does this place have a bathtub?" Mac nodded in the affirmative. "A warm bath might help you relax," he suggested warmly.

"On my errands, I did buy some bubble bath and bath oil and left it here with my bag. My room at the embassy has a bathtub, too." She added the latter in an effort to make light of her current mood.

"Then why don't you go take a bath while I settle in?"

She nodded in agreement before moving to her bag where she slipped off her shoes, retrieved the bottle of bath oil from the shopping bag, and a nightgown and a small cosmetic bag from her overnight bag before disappearing into the bathroom.

With Mac now behind a closed door, Harm let out the breath that he hadn't even realized that he'd been holding. He loosened his tie and removed his jacket, placing it over the back of a chair before sitting in the chair to toe off his shoes and remove his socks. The tie came off, and he unbuttoned his shirt, removing it and placing it over his jacket before standing to pace the room in bare feet, trying to form his questions, surmising along the way that this would be the hardest part of their relationship...their marriage - opening up to each other.

Harm knew that he was as guilty as she was about keeping things in until they boiled over, usually resulting in him making snide comments or behaving rudely towards her. The strange thing about this lack of communication between them was that it seemed to be a problem only when it involved them on a personal level, not with cases or investigations.

Harm was wondering if he should check on Mac. She'd been in the bathroom a long time. He was poised to knock on the door when the door opened and she emerged, wearing the nightgown that she'd worn in Russia, or one very similar to it in color and style.

Mac noticed that he must have been close to the door, and she smiled at him. "Did you want something?"

"I was going to ask if you were okay in there. Did the bath help?" he asked as she walked past him, the smell of her bath oil wafting into his nostrils.

She was placing her cosmetic bag back into her overnight bag and responded to his question over her shoulder. "A bath always helps."

Once her items were put away, she walked to him and slipped her arms around him. She tightened her grip, forcing him close to her, and she tried to bury her head in his chest, mumbling, "This feels better."

Harm was able to understand her mumbled words, and his lips threatened to part in a smile as he tightened his hold on her just a little. Maybe the weeks apart were the only problem, and he needed to relax.

After a few minutes, they released each other, and Mac walked towards the bed.

Harm watched, hypnotized by her movements as she turned down the bed and climbed in. She was in bed with the covers drawn up over her before he had time to remove his slacks. He placed his slacks with the rest of his suit on the back of the chair before making his way to the bed in his boxers.

By the time he slid into bed on the side that she'd left open, she was on her side, facing away from him. He slipped into bed, eased his way up against her and draped his arm over her. She didn't respond in any manner, and they lay together in silence until Mac's even breathing let him know that she was asleep.

Harm couldn't sleep until he figured out what to do. The need for a cold shower wasn't the reunion outcome that he'd envisioned at any point in these weeks of separation, and certainly not when she'd asked if he wanted to spend the night with her. He wanted more than the pleasure of holding her, but she needed rest, and her needs had to outweigh his. She needed something from him. He could tell that from her kiss and the way she'd held on to him, but what was it and why didn't she just tell him or ask him to give or do what she needed him to do? Well, maybe she had by asking him to stay with her. Maybe she just needed him to be there, he thought.

Harm was awake, still trying to figure out what she needed when he felt her stirring. She wasn't stirring like she was waking, but like she was having a nightmare. He rubbed his hand from her shoulder down her arm and then back up again in an attempt to soothe her, and found that his efforts to soothe her seemed to help him as well. Her movements calmed, and she seemed to be back in a more restful sleep.

Harm needed to feel close to her, so he never broke contact with her. He just moved when she did as she slept.

Harm was on his back, one arm under her and one arm over her, with her snuggled into his side and her head and one palm resting on his chest when he felt her stirring again. This time, he thought that she was waking up.

A quick check of Mac's internal clock told her that it was 0145, which meant that she'd slept longer than she had in a long time. However, she felt only slightly rested for as long as she'd slept. She lifted her head to look into the eyes that she felt on her. "I'm sorry that I woke you," Mac said apologetically.

"You didn't wake me. I wasn't sure that you'd wake me if you needed me, so I've been awake," Harm answered honestly.

She found herself a little teary-eyed over his concern, but covered her emotion. "I don't know about this guy who I've been seeing here. A rose last night and sweet words in the morning? He'd better watch it. A girl could get used to that kind of treatment."

"I hope she gets very used to having me around. I want to spend the rest of my life with her." He felt her body tense, so he kissed her softly on the lips before she pulled her lips away.

She didn't respond to his words, instead opting for, "You'd better get some sleep so you can take me shopping."

Harm faked a yawn. "I suppose a little nap wouldn't hurt." With his reply, she settled back into position. She lay there, feeling the rise and fall of his chest from his breathing, and listened to his heartbeat until she drifted back to sleep.

He lay there with his arms around her, unable to sleep. Up until now, he'd been willing to think that he was overreacting, but not now. Something was going on. The thought of losing her tugged at his heart. He didn't want to sleep. He wanted answers.

Mac hadn't been back to sleep long when she stirred like she had before. Harm rubbed her arm to soothe her as he'd done earlier. She'd been through a lot, and he couldn't begin to image what might be replaying in her head.

Harm knew from personal experience that, once in a while, something or someone would trigger a time in your life that you wanted to forget, but, in your dreams or nightmares, it would replay. Though it occurred infrequently now, for him, the killing of his RIO in his ramp strike was the worst nightmare that he'd ever relived in his sleep.

Harm needed her to talk to him. His plan of action narrowed until he settled on proceeding like everything was fine. His theory was that, if he were overreacting, everything would work itself out. If he weren't, she'd come clean under the pressure of trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. He snuggled down into the bed a little farther and held her a little tighter until the closeness of her body to his forced his need for a cold shower.


	13. Chapter 13

**PART FIVE – ****A Day Spent Together**

**SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 2005**

After Harm had taken a cold shower last night, he'd gotten back in bed and had been able to get to sleep. However, when he woke this morning, he was feeling the effects of not having had enough sleep. He needed to get his endorphins to kick in. He needed a run, but the only outfit that he had here was his suit.

Harm carefully removed his arm from under Mac, hoping not to wake her. When her sleep seemed to be unaffected by that move, he got out of bed. He got dressed and, after making sure that Mac was still asleep, he picked up the key card for the room and left. Once downstairs, he opted for a taxi ride to get him to his quarters to pick up a few things.

By the time Harm reached his room, he'd removed his suit coat, dropping it on his bed. He didn't bother to change out of his shirt and pants. It saved only a couple of minutes, but Mac had been sleeping restlessly all night, so he didn't want to be gone too long.

In less than fifteen minutes, Harm had entered his room, gathered his things and was getting into his car to head back to the hotel.

When Harm arrived back at the hotel, he saw a woman, probably in her mid-twenties behind the service counter, and stopped to ask her about a shop to take a visiting friend to buy a dress.

After getting another dress shop recommendation from the clerk, Harm went up to their room. He found that Mac was still sleeping, but not soundly.

Having a few minutes to make some plans, he took out his notes on places that they needed to visit today and plotted the best route before heading into the bathroom to shower.

Mac had tossed and turned most of the night, her body sleeping, but not really resting, and waking to find that she was alone had left her feeling unsettled. Had Harm left the room or the hotel, she wondered?

After looking on his pillow for a note and seeing none, Mac was about to give in to her first thought that Harm had left her when he came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of jeans and his Liberty Bonds t-shirt.

Upon exiting the bathroom, Harm saw that Mac was awake and sitting up in bed. He made his way to the bed, sat next to her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Her voice sounded sleepy. "You're already dressed?" she stated like a question.

"Yes, ma'am, I've gone to get my gear and the car, showered, shaved and dressed."

"You've been up long enough to do all that? Why didn't you wake me?"

Harm's palm came up and cupped her cheek. Mac closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

"Because you needed the sleep...but now that you're awake, get up and get dressed." He patted her thigh and got up to give her space. "The day is awastin', Marine. Get up, or we'll be having lunch instead of breakfast," he teased.

Mac went into the bathroom while he ordered a room service breakfast, and then he put on his shoes to finish dressing.

When their room service order arrived, and Mac still wasn't out of the bathroom. Harm wondered if she was taking her time on purpose to avoid him or simply enjoying having the time to take a bath.

When Mac exited the bathroom, he found that she'd taken so long because she hadn't only washed up, but she was completely dressed, including her hair and make up, and was ready to begin the day.

Upon seeing Mac, Harm pointed to the room service cart. "I ordered breakfast: egg white omelet with vegetables and juice for me, for you, a muffin and a fruit plate, with coffee for both of us."

An odd look came over Mac's face at hearing about breakfast. Harm wasn't sure if she was upset that he'd ordered breakfast or if it was more the fact that he'd ordered for her without consulting her. It was neither. Mac was just in awe of the softer, thoughtful side of him

"You need to find a dress, and we need to buy a bed. We have a lot of things to do today, so you should eat something. It's going to be a long day. If you don't want what I ordered, just let me know what you do want, and I'll order it for you," Harm offered in explanation.

"What you ordered sounds good," Mac said as she pinched off a piece of the muffin, but, before she got it into her mouth, something that he'd said registered, and she had to ask, "Why do you need to buy a bed?"

The fact that she'd used you instead of we didn't escape him, but he'd let it go for now. "Because you sublet your apartment with your furniture included, and I didn't have my bed shipped so that you wouldn't be sleeping on the floor. So, we need a bed for our new place here."

"You don't even have a place yet. Why buy one today?"

"Oh, but we do have a place. I called about the three bedroom place yesterday afternoon, probably while you were making arrangements to get this place for the weekend," Harm speculated out loud.

"When I found out that I could pick up the keys to the new place on Monday during lunch, I thought that I wasn't going to be ready by then, but then I realized that I all I really needed to move in was a bed. I've had too many punch outs for it to be a good idea for me to sleep on the floor if I don't have to, so, with a bed, I can make do until I have my things shipped from the states. It would also be nice to have a bed that we've shared with only each other...and if we pick a bed while you're here, I won't have to worry if you'll like it."

After a brief pause, he added, "The new place doesn't have built-ins in the closet like the ones I put in my closet in DC, so we should consider buying a dresser, too."

Mac's facial expressions kept changing as he spoke. She started out with a look of surprise and moved through several more expressions before ending up with her current look of annoyed, so Harm thought that he should quit talking before the subject matter ruined their day together.

Harm's enthusiasm for furniture shopping was cute, and the idea of having a bed shared with only the other was sweet, but that uncomfortable feeling coursed through her as he spoke. She didn't want to pick out a bed with him.

Her feeling didn't make any sense. She'd planned to spend the weekend with him sharing a bed, so why was buying a bed for them to share causing her to feel this way?

"You want to buy a bed and a dresser?" she asked, and though she'd tried not to let her reluctance and discomfort show, she hadn't been successful.

Harm noticed her distress, though he didn't understand it. However, he thought that he should start to lighten the mood in the room, so, with that thought, his face took on the look of a mischievous little boy.

"Just think about it. We'll make some salesman's day by letting him think that he talked us into buying the matching dresser when we told him that we were looking for only a bed when we wanted to buy one all along."

Leaving the subject of beds and apartments, at least for the time being, Harm changed the topic of conversation to something that he thought would lift her spirits - shopping.

As they continued to eat their breakfast, Harm explained that he'd asked the real estate agent yesterday about how to find the dress shop that Mac had mentioned the other night. He said that he thought that he could find it from her directions. He also told her that he'd asked the agent for an another shop that might be of interest as well as the female desk clerk this morning, and each had given him the name of a dress shop, allowing her more opportunities to find the perfect dress.

Harm had a healthy appetite this morning. He finished his omelet, a couple of slices of melon from Mac's fruit plate, a cup of coffee and a glass of juice.

Mac, on the other hand, finished two cups of coffee, but ate only a wedge of melon, a couple of grapes from the fruit plate and less than half of her muffin. Yet it was the most that she'd actually eaten at one meal since her arrival in London.

With breakfast settling in their bellies, the pair left the hotel, prepared for a day spent together - shopping, eating and having a good time.

Harm had mapped out the route to visit the shops farthest from the hotel first, and then they'd make stops on their way back to the hotel.

Ms. Appleton's recommended dress shop would be first, and there Mac saw several dresses in the shop that she liked, but none that were suitable for the formal embassy gathering next Friday.

The next stop was a furniture store. Like with the apartments, Mac didn't say much about any bed, so it was up to Harm to pay very close attention to what she did say and what she glanced at a second time as they took a look around the shop.

At one point, Harm turned to ask the salesman a question about one style, and having received his answer, he turned back around to find that Mac was no longer standing next to him.

Harm found Mac towards the back of the store, looking at a four poster bed.

"Do you like this one?" Harm asked her.

"It's nice," Mac answered.

Harm heard her words, but it was too simple a response for the look in her eye.

Harm carefully studied the style of the bed before they left the furniture store.

Their next stop was the dress shop that the young lady from the hotel had recommended this morning, but they spent very little time in that store because it wasn't the kind of store for Mac. The shop specialized in dresses for men. Apparently, the young woman this morning had thought that Harm's use of the phrase 'to buy a dress for a friend' was code to inquire about a dress for either himself or his significant other.

Mac teased him almost all the way to the next stop by saying things like: I think you would've looked wonderful in that blue dress. Normally, Harm wouldn't have been so fond of this line of teasing except, this time, it was letting him see her smile and hear her laugh, which made him feel good.

Two more stops later, one a furniture store and the other the dress shop that the real estate agent had mentioned, yielded no purchases.

Harm next took her to a quaint area of town lined with shops on both sides of the street for a couple of blocks. The first few shops were nothing of interest to them, but a dress shop did appear in position number five, and they ducked inside to have a look around.

Mac looked through the dresses, but didn't like anything enough to try it on.

After leaving that dress shop, aromas from a café caught her attention, and it surprised her that she was actually hungry.

It wasn't hard to persuade Harm that it was time for lunch. He was ready to take a break from shopping, so they made their way to the café.

While they ate, Harm enjoyed watching her talk animatedly about shopping, and he was happy when she mentioned that one of the shops in this area might have some memento that she could take back to Mattie because he knew that it meant that she was accepting Mattie as part of their lives.

Mac felt refreshed and reenergized after eating, so they left the café and walked down the shop-lined street past several shops, one that sold tea and one that sold wine before coming to another clothing shop.

Harm took the opportunity to make his usual Saturday call to Mattie while Mac went inside to have a look at their merchandise.

It took Mac the same length of time to look around the store as it took Harm to complete his weekly call.

Mac exited the shop and saw Harm putting his phone into his pocket. "How's Mattie?" she asked as she approached him.

"Fine, I told her about finding an apartment and that I'd make sure that the court was updated on the fact that I'd secured housing on Monday afternoon, her time."

"She doesn't know that I'm here, does she?" Mac asked.

"No, I didn't slip. Your location is still a secret to her."

"I'm glad that she's okay." Mac sighed. "It may sound strange, but I miss her."

"I don't think it sounds strange. I miss her, too." He waved his hand in the direction of the shop. "Did you see anything you liked in there?"

"No."

"So on to the next place?" he asked. She nodded, and he reached for her hand.

They passed a variety of shops before a display in a shop window caught Mac's eye - a black, strapless gown. She thought that she might have found the dress or, at the very least, the right shop.

Mac tried on the black gown and three others: a cream colored one, a burgundy one and a dark blue one that the saleswoman suggested.

To keep Harm from being too bored and to make him feel included in her choice of dress, Mac came out after putting on each gown to get Harm's opinion.

When Mac came out of the fitting room wearing the black gown and then the cream one, Harm found that they looked familiar, like he'd seen her in them before.

It wasn't until Mac returned to the dressing room to try on a fourth option that Harm realized he hadn't seen her in them before, but had rather envisioned her in dresses that were either very similar or identical to them after tipping over in the admiral's chair and hitting his head years ago. He'd never know if the trauma to his head had caused his hallucinations or his fear of losing Mac to Brumby.

Mac came out of the fitting room minutes later and saw him deep in thought. "Harm..." The sound of his name brought him out of his thoughts. She was wearing her jeans and top, not the fourth dress.

"I'm sorry. Did I miss one? I thought there was one more dress," Harm commented.

"You didn't miss it. I tried it on, but I didn't like it. Which dress did you like best?"

"I liked them all, so whichever one you liked best would get my vote," Harm replied.

"I'm not sure. Do you mind if we look at a few more shops?" Mac asked, knowing that shopping for a dress couldn't be fun for him.

"I don't mind a bit as long as I'm with you." They were close enough to each other that he brushed his lips against her cheek, causing Mac's heart to flutter.

After they'd left that shop, Harm suggested that they cross the street and check out some other shops.

Mac had no idea that Harm knew about this cluster of shops from the store that they visited next.

However, when they reached the seventh store down, Harm reached for Mac's elbow and guided her into the shop. With Mac in London, Harm wanted to take the opportunity to get her opinion on the engagement ring that he thought was the right one for her.

Harm walked them back to the display of engagement rings. Mac was getting that uncomfortable feeling again. The one that she'd had the last time that he'd brought up engagement rings, the same one that she'd had looking at apartments and the same one that she'd had looking at beds earlier today.

Harm's arm went around her waist. "Do you see anything you like?" he asked.

Each ring that Mac picked out, three in all, was shown to them one at a time. Two rings were single one-carat diamonds, but different cuts. The third was a one carat total weight ring, a large stone in the center with smaller ones around it, making it look a little like a flower, a little less traditional perhaps, but quite nice. A fourth ring was pulled out because Harm said that he liked it. In fact it was the ring that he'd brought her here to see. It was a two-carat round diamond, accented on each side with a half-carat heart shaped ruby, turned so the point of the heart pointed away from the center instead of towards the front or the back. As she'd done with each of the other rings, Mac slipped it on and extended her hand to see for herself and to show Harm how it looked on her finger.

After trying on the last ring, Mac moved away from the case. She instantly missed his arm around her, but she needed a break from the feeling of discomfort that she had while standing in front of all those engagement rings.

Harm followed behind her. "What do you think about that last one?" he asked softly.

Mac glanced into a case to keep from looking at him. "I think it's too expensive."

Harm hoped that he was as good as he thought he was at listening to what she was saying by hearing what she wasn't saying. Mac hadn't said that she didn't like it...just that it was too much money.

Mac appeared to be interested in browsing, so he let her continue to do so while he slipped back to chat with the salesman.

Another salesman was showing Mac something when he returned to her side, placing his hand at the small of her back. Mac moved unconsciously towards him until her side was almost touching his. "I think I've found a gift for Mattie."

A charm shaped like Big Ben that had caught her attention, and the salesman suggested that the charm be put on a bracelet instead of a necklace, allowing for more memories to be stored by adding charms for other occasions. Mac asked for Harm's opinion on getting Mattie a charm bracelet as a gift.

After Harm had informed her that a bracelet would be better than a necklace because Mattie often wore a necklace that her mother had left her, Harm let Mac make the final decision on the bracelet while he browsed the other displays.

Mac would've never thought that a decision on a bracelet would be so hard - yellow gold, white gold or sterling silver. Mac wondered if the decision was harder because she was trying to compensate for being somewhere that Mattie couldn't be right now.

Mac finally made her choice and picked out two charms. After paying for her choice, she walked up behind Harm and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was looking into a case with a variety of rings. "One of the charms is being engraved. He said that it wouldn't take long, so we should wait," Mac informed him.

He looked down at the display and then back at her. "You were right about us not really dating, although I think we could find one or two more if we really thought about it. However, since we haven't been traditional in getting to this point, look around. We can use any ring you want for your engagement ring."

Mac didn't like the way that talking about rings made her feel, mostly because she didn't understand it.

As they moved from one case to the next, the salesman who'd waited on Mac came over to verify that the engraving on the one charm was correct. When Mac confirmed that it was, the salesman said that he'd return in a moment with it gift-wrapped. Mac thanked him, and he disappeared.

Harm had noticed that a date had been engraved on both sides of the silhouette of a little girl charm. Once the young man was gone, Harm asked about it. "Why engrave two dates on the charm?"

"The side with her birthstone set in it is her birth date, but I was trying to buy something to remind her of you and where you are, so the date on the other side is the date that you first became her guardian. I got the charm of Big Ben to remind her of where you are and where she'll soon be living."

Harm was touched by the way Mac was trying with Mattie, but he didn't know how to put it into words, so he placed a delicate kiss on her lips in thanks before the salesman reappeared with her purchases all wrapped and bagged.

The next store to catch Mac's attention was a shoe store. Inside, Mac tried on two pairs of shoes twice, the second time taking a few steps in them before announcing that the shoes weren't helping. Harm looked confused, so she took pity on him and explained, "You see, if one pair had been uncomfortable, it would help me choose the shoes, which would help me pick the right dress. The shoes aren't helping because I like them both and they're both comfortable."

The salesman looked disgusted. Harm was sure that this was part of the salesman's daily grind and, to him, Mac was being just another indecisive female in his day.

Harm had an idea. Though it wouldn't help Mac's decision, it would certainly rid both of them of the annoyed salesman. "She'll take both pairs."

Mac looked up from the chair in which she was sitting.

"You said that they're both comfortable. I might as well start your comfortable shoe collection today," Harm stated with a shrug of his shoulders.

Mac smiled at him, not because he was buying her shoes, but because it meant that he'd always really listened to her: her simple goals of a great career, a good man and comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them. He remembered the small things that a lot of men would have dismissed.

With shoes in hand, Mac suggested that they go back to the dress shop where she'd tried on a few dresses so that she could try on the dresses with the shoes.

They returned to the dress shop, but trying on the shoes with the dresses didn't help. Mac still couldn't decide which dress to purchase. The young woman who'd been assisting her helped to make a purchase decision easier when she explained that all three dresses were on sale. The woman made it even easier when she overheard Harm and Mac talking about getting everything into the little car and getting it to the embassy, and she explained that the store often provided dresses for functions at the embassy and that getting the dresses delivered there would be no problem.

A few minutes later, Mac had purchased three new dresses for about the same dollar amount that Harm had paid for her two new pairs of high-heeled shoes.

With dresses and shoes purchased, Harm suggested that they find some place to eat dinner.

At a nice restaurant that had been recommended by the woman at the dress shop, Mac ordered only a salad for dinner, but Harm couldn't be too upset because she'd eaten a good-sized lunch today.

Other than Mac mentioning that she'd like to take another bath this evening, very little was said during dinner.

After dinner, he drove them back to the hotel.

The hotel room door had barely clicked shut behind them before Mac had excused herself to take a bath.

Once the bathroom door was closed, Harm wasn't sure what he was supposed to do while she was in there. Should he get undressed and get into bed or should he wait for her to exit the bathroom so that he could go in there to take a cold shower before getting into bed?

He'd taken off his shirt, and his back was to the bathroom door when Mac came out wearing a robe that matched last night's nightgown.

Harm was lost in thought and didn't hear her approaching, but her hand on his shoulder broke his concentration, her feather like touch sending a shiver of delight down his spine.

Harm turned, and Mac came into his arms. He noticed a difference in her demeanor as her arms went around his neck and she rested her forehead against his chest. She seemed more at ease now.

After some of the tense moments of the last couple of days, Harm was confused by her actions, but delighted with the contact.

A hint of his after-shave entered her nostrils as they stood in silence for a few minutes. His neck was warmed by her breath as she whispered, "I was very tired last night, but I'm not so tired tonight."

His lips covered hers. When her lips threatened to retreat, he held her a little tighter. His tongue begged for entrance into her mouth, which she granted, and a kiss conveying their passion and desire ensued.

It was the need for air that finally forced the kiss to end.

Breathless, she whispered, "We should get more comfortable." She took a half step back, turned around and tugged at the tie of her robe. She took one step forward, and he watched as her robe dropped from her shoulders, the material sliding down to reveal as it fell that she had nothing on under her robe.

He quickly moved up behind her. His left hand settled on her hip while his right hand brushed her hair off her shoulder. He placed warm kisses from her shoulder to her neck and then switched to the other shoulder and repeated his actions.

She leaned back against him as his kisses came up her neck and he nibbled at her ear. His hands resisted the urge to roam her body.

He moved from behind her to sit on the edge of the bed. Once he was seated, he extended his arm in invitation for her to join him.

His eyes were fixed on her nude form as she stepped over the pool of fabric that she'd created on the floor with her robe.

As she moved towards him, he stared at her in amazement. For as long as he'd known her, seeing her like this was very new and exciting.

He couldn't help but see beauty in the woman before him, and a desire to be with her heated him from within.

His hands came to rest on her hips as she stepped between his knees. He placed a kiss on her stomach above her bellybutton as her body moved closer to his. When he raised his head, her lips came crashing down onto his lips. His arms slid around her and he held her close until her lips parted from his.

He looked into her brown eyes and didn't see anything other than a woman - a beautiful woman.

He'd always seen her as attractive, but he'd never looked at her features individually to understand why he saw her that way. Her cheek bones and the shape of her eyes, for example, mixed with her skin tone made her look exotic.

Her exotic look combined with the rich brown color of her eyes intoxicated him.

His fingertips made a trail from her collarbone down her body. Her skin was smooth and her breasts were perfectly shaped mounds with pink peaks. His hands briefly covered her breasts before he forced them to move on, skimming over her flat tummy as they moved around her waist.

His hands slid over her buttocks and glided down the outside of her thighs. Once his hands had reached her knees, he moved his hands back up along their previous path to cup her buttocks before their lips made contact again.

He squeezed her firm buttocks as they kissed, pulling her forward as he fell back onto the bed, bringing her down on top of him. The closeness of her to him was pleasurable in itself, but the fact that, after all these years, he could finally touch her and feel her skin against his was heavenly.

His fingertip touches gave way to his hands roaming over her body. She'd been touched by men before, but never like this. His touch was gentler and more caring, leaving each place that he touched hot and wanting. His kiss was like no other man's before him, either.

The kiss that they'd been engaged in while falling onto the bed ended, and a few shorter ones took place before Mac's lips moved from his. She eased down his body with a trail of kisses from his lips to his chest to his bellybutton.

Her weight left him, and he felt her fingers at the waist of his jeans. "You should get more comfortable," she said in a soft, seductive voice as she unfastened his jeans. A tug at the waistband of his jeans encouraged him to stand. He took her in his arms again, kissing her gently at first, and then their tongues tangled in her mouth.

When the kiss ended, she climbed back onto the bed while he made it his mission to rid himself of the rest of his clothing.

Having taken a prone position on the bed, she tapped the mattress next to her, inviting him to join her as the remainder of his clothing hit the floor.

He crawled onto the bed, and she moved towards him. His arms engulfed her, and she sighed at the feeling of being in his arms again as if it had been weeks or years, not just a few moments since she'd been in his arms. At the sound of her sigh, he pulled her closer and held her just a little more firmly as he waited for her to make the next move.

Harm didn't have to wait long before she brought her lips to his.

After the kiss that she'd begun had ended, he kissed her lips once more before moving down her neck and over her body, covering her in kisses. His trail of kisses went from her lips down her body to her ankles and back up to her breasts.

He took time to kiss and caress each breast before moving back up her chest to her neck and her lips for another tangle of their tongues.

Finally free to enjoy the feel of her skin under his touch, his hands roamed over her body as they kissed.

The sensations that his kisses and touches gave her body made her want him more. She wanted to love him, but she wanted to be loved by him, too.

As he teased her nipples with his tongue, her body temperature rose and her core began to moisten, yet she was still unsure if she wanted to be on top or let him love her.

He was fully erect and ready to move things forward, but unsure if she was ready. She'd made no effort to pull him to her like before or to cover him. Given her odd behavior towards him the last few days, he didn't want to risk upsetting her and spoiling the mood, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could continue to kiss and touch her without letting go.

His lips crashed onto hers, and when their lips met, one of her hands moved behind his head as if to hold him there. As they kissed, her other hand moved below his waistline, and her palm glanced over his hardness, sending his pulse rate skyrocketing.

He slid his hand between her legs, and the side of his index finger was dampened by her moistness as his hand felt the warmth that would surround him and satisfy them both.

As she slid her hand back up his body, her voice was low and needy as she whispered, "Permission granted to come aboard, Sailor."

All he could do was nod as he removed his hand from between her legs before bringing his body into position over hers.

Moments later, her natural lubrication allowed him to slide easily into her.

Her body arched and her hands clutched at him, pulling him as close as she could, hoping to make him sink deeper inside of her. She wanted all of him, but he didn't allow his complete length to enter her.

He couldn't explain it, but he hadn't been able to fully let go before tonight with her, and he couldn't do it now, either.

She felt his throbbing member inside her and yet she craved more of him. Their rhythm was instinctive, and they moved together, slowly at first and then faster.

Her body writhed and arched involuntarily as she approached her climax, but she was able to hold her sounds of pleasure inside. She'd held back the last time, and she was holding back this time. She just couldn't let go, not yet, anyway.

He felt her fingers dig into his shoulder, and he hoped that they were still in sync with each other since he knew that his own climax was no more than a couple of strokes away.

He felt her walls tighten around him and, with the next stroke into her, he emptied himself completely.

With the intensity of his approaching release over, he realized that she was no longer clutching his shoulder and that she'd relaxed under him, assuring him that he'd succeeded in satisfying her.


	14. Chapter 14

**PART SIX – I'll Always Be There**

**SUNDAY, APRIL 24, 2005  
**  
Mac didn't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Usually she'd wake, watch Harm sleep for a few minutes, get comfortable again and go back to sleep. When she'd settle into a new position, Harm wouldn't wake, but he'd roll to a complimentary position and continue to hold her.

When Mac woke at 0158, she watched him sleep for two minutes and nine seconds. Then she remembered that, in a few hours, they'd have to leave the hotel and go back to sleeping alone and back to their work schedules. That left the next time that they'd see each other uncertain and had her craving for his love again.

Mac placed her lips on his, and Harm responded instantly to her kiss.

Harm's sleepy state allowed him to react to her body and her movements without thinking, and though subconsciously he still couldn't let go completely, he loved her the way that she needed him to love her, giving her the reassurance that he was always going to be there. Unbeknown to Harm, that's exactly what she needed to be sure of before she could open up to him about her feelings.

At 0645 Mac woke again and watched Harm sleep for a few minutes before deciding that she should get up and prepare for the day. She quietly slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom.

Except for her shoes, she was dressed when she exited the bathroom a little while later.

Because of the hour of the morning it was, she knew that she had plenty of time to pack up her things before check out time, so she took time to sit in a chair and watch him sleep for a while again. She watched him for only a few minutes before she thought that it was time that she did something more productive and began to gather up her things and pack them into her bag.

Mac believed that she had all of her things, but it was possible that she'd left something behind among Harm's clothes on the floor, so she began to move around the room, picking up Harm's things.

When she picked up his jeans, she saw the edge of a piece of paper sticking out from one of his pockets. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she pulled the paper from his pocket. The yellow paper was folded, and she half expected it to be a woman's phone number that some salesclerk had stuck in his pocket while they were shopping yesterday. Unfolding the paper revealed that it wasn't a phone number, but a copy of a work order for resizing a lady's ring. There was no description of the ring, just an invoice reference number. The order was dated yesterday and the date for pickup was Thursday. He'd bought her a ring.

Mac shoved the paper back into his pocket and, fearing that she'd find the invoice and ruin the surprise of what ring he'd chosen, she threw his jeans over the back of the chair that she'd been sitting in earlier and decided to quit cleaning, opting to put on her shoes and makeup.

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup and wondering how she could feel so excited at seeing that he'd bought her a ring, yet, at the same time, why the thought of wearing it made her feel so uneasy.

She couldn't believe how tired she looked as she covered the dark circles under her eyes with concealer.

After putting on her makeup, she walked out of the bathroom, and her eyes immediately fell on Harm, who was still asleep.

She was sure that he'd sensed that something was wrong. He knew her too well not to be at least suspicious that she was holding something back from him.

She could avoid a possible confrontation and leave while he was still asleep, she thought, but only for a moment because she loved him. She wouldn't leave him like that.

Mac was stacking her newly acquired shoes on top of her bag when she felt his arms wrap around her from behind. His breath tickled her neck as he placed a kiss there and whispered good morning in her ear.

Harm felt her tense up. It was possible that he'd simply caught her off guard, but he suspected that she felt that she was running out of time to tell him what was bothering her since they'd be checking out shortly.

Harm never gave thought about the paper in his jeans or the fact that, if she found it, it would upset her.

Mac regained enough composure to ask if he wanted her to order breakfast for them while he showered.

After telling her that the breakfast that she'd had yesterday sounded good to him today since he wasn't very hungry, he disappeared into the bathroom, and she ordered a couple of muffins, fruit and coffee for their breakfast.

Harm finished his morning routine and emerged from the bathroom in clean jeans and a bright smile. He pulled out the last clean shirt that he'd brought and put it on. He scanned the room for his shirt and jeans from yesterday and moved about the room, picking up his discarded clothing and packing it away.

When room service knocked, Mac was closest to the door, so she answered it. Harm took the time to put on his shoes before joining Mac for breakfast.

Mac's tension under his touch this morning had him perplexed. He picked a grape off the fruit plate and sipped his coffee, but he had a distant look in his eyes.

"Harm, is something wrong?"

"I was going to ask you the same question."

"I'm fine, but you didn't answer my question."

"I'm worried about you. There's obviously something bothering you. I haven't...I don't want to push you to talk, but I want to help and I can't do that if I don't know what it is that's on your mind."

His answer tugged at her heart. She knew that this needed to be the start of the conversation that they needed to have, but she didn't want to have it. He should know about her doubts, but she also knew that he'd want to know why she felt the way she did, and that was an answer that she didn't have.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Mac. If it's this assignment that you're on, maybe you can't tell me, but at least say that it's work related so I'll know that, when you go back to Washington, you'll be able to sleep."

"This assignment is certainly part of it. I don't have any facts to back it up, just a feeling that this assignment isn't as simple or as safe as it's been explained to me, but I don't think it's just one thing…it's everything." In her eyes, he could see pain and doubt, which tore at his heart.

She stood, and he followed, reaching for her. His fingers combed into her hair until his palms rested on her cheeks. He held her face at the angle needed to force her to look him in the eye. "Mac, I'm here...talk to me."

"I've just been feeling a little overwhelmed. We went from orders that sent us in different directions to being together...getting married and being a family with Mattie. Things have just happened so suddenly, don't you think?"

She was looking him in the eye, and he wasn't going to let her look away when he responded to her.

"I've been focusing on getting to the married and being a family part, not giving how we got to this point much thought, and I'm sorry to say that I haven't taken the time to look at things from your perspective either." Harm sighed. "We got engaged at the eleventh hour, and with me, you get Mattie...and you'll be leaving the Corps. You're the one who's going to have the most adjustments to make, so I can certainly understand why you feel like things are moving too fast and are overwhelming you."

Mac felt relieved that Harm wasn't upset with her and that he seemed to understand.

"I wish that you'd mentioned feeling this way sooner, because I've been making you feel only worse since you've been here by pushing you to look at rings, housing and beds when that certainly wasn't my intention. I'm sorry," he said before he placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Why didn't you say something about it sooner?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I thought that you'd dismiss my feelings or make me feel like I was being silly, or perhaps I didn't think that you'd understand." Mac sighed.

"Mac, I'm guilty of not taking time to look at it from your perspective, but I'd never minimize your feelings about anything that you talk to me about, and I want you to talk to me when something is bothering you...and for future reference, I can't think of anything that you could ever possibly say that could change how I feel about you. So losing me should never be of concern to you. I'll always be here."

The look of concern in his eyes and his reassuring words caused a glitch in her defenses. The door in her mind, the door that everyone has in which they lock their darkest secrets and deepest fears opened, and she was flooded with the emotions of hurt, failure and unworthiness that she'd felt during or after every failed relationship that she'd had in the past, from her parents to her last boyfriend, Clayton Webb.

Her emotions too much for her to handle, her yes filled with tears. "I don't want to screw up this relationship. I don't want to lose you." The words hadn't registered with any part of her brain. They'd just spilled out of her, but in her words, she'd expressed her worst fear.

As her tears started to fall, Harm pulled her to him. "I'm not going anywhere. You are _not _going to lose me!"

"How can you be so sure?" she asked into his chest.

"Because I know me and I know you."

Mac lifted her head and cut him off. "But Paraguay changed us. You didn't return my calls. You were angry, and we didn't speak for months."

He looked into her eyes. "That's how I know," he began softly. "I lived part of my life without you and lived through that hurt. I know that I never want to do it again."

There was one other thing on her mind. Harm knew that Sadik Fahd was dead and that she'd been the one to pull the trigger, but he didn't know the circumstances.

Harm was a good man who'd spent his life fighting for right and justice. Could he understand what she'd done or would he think less of her when he found out that she'd killed him, not in defense of country, but in revenge?

She thought that she'd dealt with what had happened that night by talking to a 'shrink' and Clayton, but it was coming up now, so it must not have cleared her conscience. She needed to tell Harm what had happened, what she'd done.

"I changed after Paraguay. I killed a man." She was stunned by her own words.

Harm pulled her face towards him and issued a tender kiss to her lips. When his lips left hers, he once again held her face between his hands to make sure that she was looking him in the eye.

"You're a Marine. I know that you've killed. Hell, I've witnessed a couple. You've been present when I've killed, and when I fly combat missions, you know that I'm not dropping sugar cubes. I've killed, too."

If he was going to add to his statement, he didn't get the chance. Her voice cracked as she said, "This was different."

This was obviously upsetting to her, but he didn't understand the problem, and he needed to understand. "How is it different?"

"I didn't just shoot a man…I shot an unarmed man."

To his credit, Harm didn't even flinch. "Are you trying to confess to murdering someone?" Her head still between his hands, she just nodded.

Harm was in shock. Mac wasn't capable of murder. There had to be a story, a reason for what she'd done or at least what she felt that she'd done.

"Mac, tell me what happened," Harm implored her, wanting to know what had happened so that he could understand what she was feeling.

Mac was comforted by the fact that he hadn't pulled away from her in disgust, but she knew that it might be only because he was shocked by her revelation.

Fearing that it would be only a matter of time before he wanted to send her away, she pulled from his grasp. "I can't do this right now. I need time to get my thoughts together. I'll call you when I can talk about it," she said, rushing to pick up her bags.

Harm stood tall and firm between her and the door. "Mac, please sit down and finish breakfast. We don't have to talk any more right now. We'll just finish eating, and then I'll drive you back to the embassy."

Harm knew that Mac was conceding to his request when she put down her bags and sat down.

Mac didn't finish anything except for the second cup of coffee that she'd poured for herself just before they'd started talking.

Harm picked at the fruit plate some, but he didn't finish anything except for his coffee either. He was preoccupied with thoughts of what Mac was talking about, but he knew that he was going to have to give her the time that she was asking for if he was going to find out what it was.

Neither of them said a word while they were eating or during the drive back to the US Embassy.

At the curb near the embassy gates, Harm got her bags out of the car, and she gave him a quick hug whispering "thank you" into his ear before she pulled away from him and picked up her bags.

Mac approached the gatehouse. It was when Harm heard the Marine on duty in the guardhouse say to Mac, "Thank you Colonel," that he knew that she'd shown her ID, had been given entry into the compound and wasn't going to come back to kiss him or give him another hug, since the one that he'd received a few moments ago was of the variety reserved for a friend whom you haven't seen in a while or a relative whom you don't like very much but felt obligated to acknowledge, not the type of hug that best friends share, let alone lovers.

He got into his car, worried that he might not see her again before she left London, and then he remembered the embassy ball on Friday. He'd see her there. He just hoped that she'd be ready to talk to him by then so that she could move past her doubts and fears, and focus on their future together, too.


	15. Chapter 15

**PART SEVEN – ****Mac Makes Contact **

**TUESDAY, APRIL 26, 2005 **

Though Harm had heard Mac's concerns about a happy future together not being in the cards for them, he also had Mattie to consider, so he'd kept his appointment yesterday to sign the rental agreement papers and pick up the keys to the new place.

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking or his gut belief that he could reassure Mac that they could be happy together, but in either case, he'd also purchased the bed that he believed had been Mac's favorite before heading back to his office. However, he hadn't heard from Mac since he'd dropped her off at the embassy on Sunday.

Though he'd missed her, he hadn't been surprised that he hadn't heard from her yesterday, but he'd had enough to do between work and his errands to keep him from spending too much time dwelling on it. However, his schedule wasn't full enough today to keep his mind from wandering to thoughts of her, and he wished that he'd hear from her.

If she called, he hoped that he could talk her into having dinner with him, even if he had to do it under the strict guideline that they not talk about her revelation. They could talk about the weather for all he cared - he just wanted to see her.

He turned his attention back to the file on his desk. He needed to keep up on his work load. If Mac called and wanted to meet him, he wanted to be able to get away.

Harm's only thought when he brought his lunch back to his desk so that he wouldn't miss her if she called was that love makes a man crazy.

At 1315, Harm's intercom buzzed. After a quick check of his schedule to confirm that he had no appointment scheduled for this hour, he depressed the button to see what his yeoman needed.

Unless it was Mac, Harm hoped that it wasn't a visitor, because then he'd have to put on his game face.

It was a visitor, but it wasn't Mac, and his face took on a stern look when his petty officer informed him as to his identity.

Harm stood, taking a deep breath to steady himself as his office door opened and his unexpected visitor entered.

The door closed, and Harm's voice sounded rough. "What do you want, Webb?"

"I have news from the embassy," Webb said casually.

Webb used the same casual tone that he'd used when they'd been in the hotel in Paraguay and he'd mentioned that the room they were in was the one where he and Mac had spent their honeymoon. If he were here to say that he and Mac were having a second honeymoon at the embassy, Harm thought that he might strangle him with his bare hands.

"What message does the ambassador have for me?" Harm asked with a firm jaw, trying not to fall into his pattern of the past and assume the worst. This time, the worst thing would be that Webb was here to gloat that he'd won Mac back.

"It isn't from the ambassador," Webb stated.

"Okay, Webb, what is it that _you_ want me to know?" Harm inquired with reservation. He wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer.

"It isn't me who wants you to know. It's Sarah," Webb replied.

Harm straightened his back, visibly bracing himself for what Webb might be about to tell him.

"Since we have reason to believe that the ambassador's life is in danger, the embassy is under a tight security blanket: no calls are allowed to anyone outside the embassy and no one leaves the embassy without clearance from the head of security."

Harm noted the information about calls and visits, so perhaps things with Mac weren't as bad as they'd appeared a few minutes ago, but then again, Webb was standing in his office.

"You know that Mac and I aren't a security risk, so why not give clearance to Mac?" Harm inquired in a firm voice.

"As the commander in charge of the Marines attached to the embassy, whether temporary or not, it's possible that her life could be in danger if she leaves the embassy. I'm keeping her safe by not granting her clearance to leave the compound."

Harm had two thoughts about what Webb had just said. One was that Mac's instincts were right on about her assignment here, and the second was that he wasn't sure that Webb's reasons for keeping Mac restricted to the embassy were entirely for her safety.

"One more thing about the extra security measures ... on Friday evening, someone who drives for us will pick you up and take you to the embassy for the ball."

Harm didn't soften his tone. "You could have just called about my ride, so why are you here?" Harm asked, though he didn't expect Webb to confess that he was enjoying being able to use the excuses of safety and security to keep Mac away from him...and to himself.

"You sound angry, Harm," Webb said smugly. "Don't shoot the messenger. I could've called, but then I couldn't have brought you this," Webb stated before he pulled a business sized envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and continued, "Yesterday, Sarah asked me for the complete and original report and transcript from the CIA files that were recorded from the wire that she was wearing during her encounter with Sadik Fahd, which ended with her killing him, and since I couldn't grant her clearance to leave the embassy, she asked me to bring it to you. This report is classified, so read it and then destroy it. I don't know why she wants you to read it, but she said that you needed to know what really happened. Why is that?"

Harm grabbed the envelope. "It's none of your business. You've made your delivery. You can go."

"Not just yet. I brought the report because, once I saw Sarah again, I'd planned to come to see you anyway."

"For what...do you need for us to bail out your ass again concerning this possible assassination mess that you're in here?"

"No, I can handle my job, Rabb." Now Webb sounded angry. "For the record, I didn't get Sarah involved in this. Kershaw picked her for the assignment because they needed someone with her language skills and, with her previous work for us, she was a natural choice. I had nothing to do with her selection for this assignment. I wasn't called in until after the Intel came in about the possible assassination plot to help button down the embassy when the ambassador refused to cancel Friday's ball. Now, with that said, I'm going to tell you what I came here to say. I plan to tell Sarah that I want her back and that I'll do whatever it takes for her to take me back. I love her, and when you read the report, you'll see when she knew that she loved me, too."

"And you felt that you needed to tell me this, why?" Harm asked disgustedly.

"Sarah told me that the two of you are engaged, and that made telling you man-to man that I intend to fight for her the right thing to do before I pursue her. I can give her what she wants. I can give her the better life, so when she chooses me...you need to let her go," Webb said calmly, as if saying it softly would make it seem not quite so bad.

"Don't you mean _if _she chooses you?" Harm shot back, his voice tense with anger.

"We'll see who she chooses," Webb said confidently before he exited Harm's office, firmly believing that the things that he could give Mac would sway her to choose him.

There was no point in having a discussion with Webb about Mac. It was Mac's decision to make, and Harm didn't give a damn what Webb thought that his chances were with Mac. Whether it was fighter jock ego, hopeless romantic or simply wishful thinking, Harm felt that he knew Mac's heart and that she'd choose him.

Harm let out a burst of air in frustration and aggravation as Clayton Webb made a retreat from his office.

Seconds after the door closed behind Webb, Harm mumbled, "I don't think you have what it takes to make her happy" as he dropped into his chair.

Harm would wait until he was alone in his quarters and had plenty of time to let his confrontation with Webb go before he read the contents of the envelope.

**FRIDAY, APRIL 29, 2005**

While Harm had been emailing Mattie this morning before work, a thought had struck him about ways to contact Mac. There was email...and he realized that Webb had said no outgoing calls. He hadn't said that the embassy wasn't taking incoming calls.

Harm called the embassy, but wasn't able to speak to her, so he left a message. His email to her was exactly the same as the telephone message that he'd left for her: 'I've read it. It doesn't change anything.'

After making his call and sending the emails, Harm gathered information for his monthly reports.

With the information in front of him, Harm began to work on the reports, but he was finding it hard to concentrate on work while stewing about Webb being at the embassy with Mac. Harm kept finding his mind back in the same place - wondering if Webb was spending more time doing his job or pursuing her.

Harm had to take frequent breaks, but he was making progress on the reports when his intercom buzzed. He was really beginning to hate that contraption.

This time, the name of his visitor put Harm's stomach in knots because of the reasons why she might be here.

Harm was seated when she entered. His desk had more than a dozen files on it, much different than the tidy desk that she'd seen last week. She pointed towards the files on his desk. "Not a major crime spree, I hope," she said lightheartedly.

Harm wasn't sure what to say since he didn't know if she was trying to take the edge off the tension of their first meeting after an intense conversation followed by a forced separation or breaking the ice before delivering bad news.

Harm knew what he wanted to say, but his office wasn't really the place for a talk like the one that they needed to have, so he opted to respond to her comment.

"No crime spree, just a couple of new cases for review and assignment, a few final case reports, end of the month manpower numbers and such...looks worse than it is," Harm replied, keeping the mood in the room light.

"I have to hurry back, but I wanted to see you," Mac said more seriously.

"I thought that Webb had the embassy in lockdown," Harm said, maintaining an even tone ... barely.

"He does have a pretty tight lid on the place, but I told him that I had to get out of there for a little while."

"Did you tell him that you were coming to see me?" Harm asked curiously.

"Telling him where I was going was one of the provisions of my release, but I didn't specifically tell him that I was coming to see you. However, he is a smart man, so I'm sure that he figured out that I was coming here for that reason." She was smiling broadly at him. "I promised that I wouldn't be gone long, so I have to get back. However, before I go, I want to tell you that I got your message and email, and I agree that we do need to talk, but since neither one of us has the time right now, I was hoping that, since the extra security precautions will end after tonight's ball, you and I could see each other this weekend...for the whole weekend again, if you'd like, and we can talk then," she said in an intimate tone.

"I'd like that, too." He reached for a pen and paper and scribbled something down before standing and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a key. "I signed the rental papers, so this is the address and the key. You can come by anytime, or call and I'll come to get you."

She took the offered paper and key. "After the ball tonight, I should be able to get away, but it'll be late."

"If you can get away, don't worry about the time." He came around his desk.

She was afraid that, if he kissed her, she'd never be able to leave his office. "I promised the petty officer that I wouldn't mess up your schedule, so I'd better let you get ready for your appointment." He came to stand in front of her, and she could see the concern in his eyes.

"Mac, I know that this isn't the best time and not the right place, but I have something that I have to say now. Webb came by to see me on Tuesday, and I know that he wants you back in his life. I know that I'm not your only option."

"Harm..." Mac started, but Harm lifted his hand to stop her from saying anything more.

"I have to say this before you leave. There's nothing in what I read that changes how I feel about you. I wish that we had more time to discuss it, but we don't right now, and since you're going back to the embassy where I'm sure that Webb is no doubt trying to win your favor, based on what he said to me, I want to plead my case, right here, right now."

Harm took her hands in his and took a deep breath like one does before jumping into deep water before speaking again.

"I understand that I'm thinking one-sided, like I'm still a single guy, but I've spent most of my life living that way. I'm not going to be able to change overnight, but I'm willing to work on it. However, I also understand that you've been waiting for me for a long time...but you don't need to wait for me any longer. I'm yours. I don't want to give you up, but if you tell me that he'll make you happy, I won't stand in your way because I want you to be happy...even if it isn't with me. I just want you to be with the right man...and to me that man is the one who loves, wants and needs you just as much as you love, want and need him ... the man who you see at your side years from now, the man with whom you'd want to have a child." Harm had to take a breath. He was getting choked up because, though he was describing which man Mac should choose, he was describing the woman who was right for him.

"But I can't give him a child," Mac said with tears forming in her eyes.

Harm wondered if he'd just blown his chances by mentioning a child, given her condition.

"You can't be sure without having tried, but, Mac, whether it actually comes to pass or not, knowing that he's the one who you'd want to be the father of your child tells you where your heart belongs, and that man is the one with whom you belong."

The sincerity in Harm's eyes, without a sign of his cocky, fighter jock bravado as he opened up to her, allowed Mac to see a side of him that she doubted that many, if any woman had ever seen before, and she felt special, knowing that he was willing to show it to her. It spoke volumes to her about how he felt about her.

He brushed his lips over hers.

"I love you," he said in a hushed whisper.

Mac was about to break down into a sobbing mess when Harm's intercom buzzed, and he was now certain that he hated that contraption.

They knew that it was his scheduled appointment and time for her to go.

Harm moved to the intercom and, after depressing the button, said into it, "I'll be right out."

He walked Mac to the door, but before he could open it for her, she turned and hugged him.

With her arms around him, he said softly, "Call or come by any time."

Mac released her hold on him and nodded in understanding before he opened the door, and she exited.

Harm greeted his waiting appointment and hoped that he got a chance to talk to Mac again tonight at the ball.


	16. Chapter 16

**PART EIGHT – The Ball **

**FRIDAY, APRIL 29, 2005**

Mac was in her room getting ready to take a bath when she saw the vase of flowers on the vanity. Beginning on Wednesday, two containers of flowers had been delivered to her every day, one to her room and one to her office.

Ms. Appleton had confirmed Mac's suspicions that the flowers were from Clay. Mac knew that the little pieces of unsigned paper being left on her desk with 'You look beautiful today' or 'I love you' were from him, too.

Mac hadn't seen Clay since she'd coerced him into letting her break his security lock down by leaving the compound early this morning. However, when she'd returned from seeing Harm, the note on her desk had read: 'Marry me.'

As she slipped into the warm bath water, she remembered her conversation with Clay that they'd had on Tuesday after his return from Harm's office.

********FLASHBACK TO TUESDAY******  
**  
Clayton entered her office with a smug look on his face, though he'd been using that expression a lot since he'd arrived. "I delivered the reports as you requested."

"Thank you, Clay."

"I also told him something that I haven't told you yet. I knew the moment that I saw you that I was still in love with you. Sarah, I need a woman like you. I told him and now I'm telling you that I want you back. He'll never appreciate you the way I do. He'll always be oblivious to your feelings. You said that the two of you were engaged, but he hasn't thought enough of you to put a ring on your finger. He's -"

She cut him off. "You don't know him as well as you think you do."

"Just because he bedded you over the weekend doesn't mean that you know him all that well, either, or that he's the man for you. That's why I had to tell him that we're going to get back together."

"You think that you're the man for me when you apparently had me followed? Or is it because you told him that we were getting back together without bothering to talk to me first?" She was angry.

His eyes were pleading, and he reached for her hand. "We're good together, Sarah. I love you. We'll have a wonderful life."

********PAUSE FLASHBACK******  
**  
At that moment last Tuesday, the question had just come out without thought, but sitting in her warm bath with a clear mind, she was curious about why she'd asked the question. On some level, had she'd been entertaining the idea of reuniting with Clay?

********CONTINUE FLASHBACK****** **

"Clay, do you want children?" Mac asked softly.

"No. I've never had the urge to have one, but if you want one, we can."

Sarcastically, she said, "The odds that you'll be struck by lightning are probably better than I have of getting pregnant."

"Then I don't see a problem. You can't have one, and I don't want one. I'll be happy with it just being the two of us. It doesn't matter to me that you can't have a baby," he said, reaching for her arm to bring her into an embrace, but Mac stepped back.

If Webb had been going to try to embrace her again, he didn't have the opportunity because another agent entered the office and told Clay that the conference call with the CIA director was set up in Major Johnson's office.

Mac watched Webb walk out the door while his reply to her announcement that she probably wouldn't be able to have children echoed in her head.

********END FLASHBACK********

Mac stood, toweling herself off while lost in thought.

Both men wanted her, both men loved her and both were good men.

Why was she even thinking about them like she was trying to choose one of them? She was in love with Harm. She'd been in love with Harm even when she'd been with Clay.

Was she so afraid of ending up alone that she was trying to find a way to keep one of them on the back burner until she screwed up the relationship with the other?

Clayton and Harm were such different men. For instance, look at the way each man had reacted to the news that she couldn't have a child and the way that they'd told her that they loved her. Harm had told her that he loved her, but selflessly told her that he wanted her to be happy even if it meant that she wasn't with him. Clay's declaration of love had seem self-centered, explaining only what he wanted and not giving any thought to what she might want.

Mac slipped into her dress. It was time to finish getting ready so that she wouldn't be late for the ball.

***********

Clayton Webb paced the office that was currently being used by Lt. Colonel MacKenzie. Tonight, this same office would serve as the hub for the security team.

With information on Sunday from the female informant saying that the attempt on the ambassador's life would be made during the ball this evening, it was time to put aside his personal agenda and focus on his primary mission, which was preventing the ambassador's death.

Since he'd spoken to her on Tuesday, he hadn't seen much of Sarah. He'd given her daily reminders of his love with flowers and notes, but he hadn't been able to talk to her about reconciliation.

After his security mission was completed tonight, he'd be ordered to move to the next place or recalled to Washington, so, this morning, his note had said 'Marry me' and he intended to have an answer by the end of the night.  
**  
*********

Harm had wanted to leave the office early today, but a few last minute items had kept him in the office later than he'd planned.

After leaving the office, he went to the jewelry store to pick up Mac's ring. It had been ready yesterday, but having not seen her, he'd been in no hurry to pick it up. However, after his conversation with her today, he hoped that a ring for her finger would not only show his commitment to her, but also his desire for a future together.

The stop didn't take as long as he'd anticipated, but he still got home later than he'd planned so that, when he'd finally made it home, it was time to shower and shave for the second time today in preparation for the ball.

In his dress mess, as he waited for his car and driver, it occurred to him that, if he could put aside his concerns about his relationship with Mac, the week had gone well. He'd acquired a place to live, sent documentation of obtaining a residence to the court in Virginia in his quest for custody of Mattie and had part of his household goods and the new four-poster bed that Mac had been dreamy-eyed over delivered.

Yes, he'd had a productive week. Next week, he'd make unpacking the boxes a priority.

Harm was glad that the driver arrived when he did because he was able to avoid thinking about what he was going to do if Mac wasn't going to be the one to share the new bed with him.

Harm arrived at the embassy, and his hopes of seeing Mac the moment he entered the ballroom were quickly dashed. She was nowhere in sight.

Harm found the bar and was indulging in a shot of bourbon while making polite conversation with the Defense Minister of some place or other when he suddenly felt Mac's presence in the room.

Harm instinctively turned in her direction and saw Mac on the dance floor. His eyes took in the view of her in the black strapless dress, but, to his dismay, her dance partner was Clayton Webb.

Seeing them together, Harm couldn't breathe. He saw the terrace doors and bolted for them. He needed some air.

Clay had rescued Mac from a very talkative member of parliament by saying that Mac owed him a dance. However, on the dance floor, Mac found that he wasn't being just nice when he whispered, "I have to give this event my full attention, but I left a very important note for you today. Meet me on the terrace after the ball. I want to know your answer."

Clay had barely finished his statement when Mac felt Harm's presence. Her eye caught him moving rapidly towards the terrace doors.

Mac politely thanked Clay for the dance, said that she'd talk to him later and left to follow Harm. If she'd known that Harm was coming, she wouldn't have danced with Clay.

On the terrace, Harm was staring out into the darkness when he suddenly felt her presence a moment before he heard her voice.

"I didn't know that you were invited."

"You mean that Webb didn't mention it? I know that I don't usually come up in conversation between the two of you." Harm was instantly sorry for his words and tone.

Between Webb telling him earlier in the week that he wanted her back, not having been able to spend any time with her himself and then seeing her dancing with him, the memories of all the hurt had come rushing back, and he'd slipped back into his old bad habit of sounding snide.

Mac knew that it was Harm's jealousy talking and made no comment.

Harm dropped his head and looked down before speaking to her in a voice that was laced with the pain that he was feeling at seeing her with Webb.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I was invited by Colonel Bridges during my first week here after a meeting about one of his Marines, but since he isn't here, I should go. I thought I could do this, but I'm not ready to see you with him."

When he finished speaking, he chanced a look at her.

Mac saw that his eyes glistened from the moisture of unshed tears.

"Harm…" Mac began as she reached out to touch his arm.

The sound of the terrace doors opening caused Mac to end her attempt at contact.

A very attractive twenty-three old woman with blonde hair, long legs and great curves stepped out onto the terrace. "I didn't think that anyone would be out here with the dancing inside. I needed some air. It can get stuffy inside sometimes."

Mac had met the ambassador's wife yesterday. "Yes, ma'am, it can get stuffy and too noisy to hear. This is Captain Rabb, Force Judge Advocate for Naval Forces Europe. He and I served together for a number of years. We were trying to catch up, but it was hard to hear inside."

"Captain Rabb, it's a pleasure to meet you. You're certainly a taller, more handsome man than your predecessor. I've heard Colonel Bridges speak of you - I believe his comment was something about how a Navy man who plays golf, likes bourbon and a good cigar can't be all bad."

Mac internally fumed at the woman's interruption and blatant flirting with her man, but Mac kept her wits, and her exterior showed no signs of the fury inside. "Captain Rabb, this is Mrs. Mathers, the US Ambassador's wife."

"It is nice to meet you, Mrs. -"

She cut him off. "Call me Penny. Tell me, Captain, did you bring anyone to the ball?"

"No, ma'am."

Penny's face lit with delight, and she reached for Harm's arm. "Then you must dance with me." She slipped her arm around his and practically attached herself to his side.

It was all that Mac could do to speak calmly. "Perhaps we can talk again later, Captain."

"I hope so. I'll be looking for you."

Harm wasn't thrilled with entertaining the ambassador's wife, but he really didn't want to hear Mac tell him that she was sorry, but that she'd chosen Webb, either. He made a mental note that his first embassy function here was a bust and that, unless he was ordered to attend again, this first one would also be his last.

Losing Harm to the ambassador's wife for the time being, Mac went on a hunt for Clayton Webb.

Mac was scanning the main ballroom, and it took her only seconds to spot her tall handsome sailor on the dance floor, but Clay was nowhere to be found.

Mac's eyes were drawn back to Harm and his dance partner. She watched as Harm took a step back and then that twenty-something-trophy-wife of the ambassador's would take two steps forward, moving closer to Harm with every step. As the notes to the next song started to play, Mac told herself that Harm was a big boy and could fend off a tart on his own. She needed to resume her mission to find Webb.

If Clayton Webb wasn't in the main ballroom, he must be in her office where he'd set up his command center for tonight's event.

Mac got her bearings and started down the correct corridor. Coming from this end of the building, she'd pass by Major Johnson's office before she got to hers.

Harm ended up dancing through three songs with the ambassador's wife before her husband came over to cut in.

Free of the clinging Mrs. Mathers, Harm immediately began to look around for Mac. After scanning the dance floor and not finding her, he wandered aimlessly through the crowd, searching for her, but managed to find only the bar where he picked up his second bourbon of the night.

Harm returned briefly to the terrace, but no luck. He'd just have to hope that she called or came by to see him after the ball tonight or sometime this weekend because he wasn't having any luck in finding her.

Harm made his way back through the crowded ballrooms, taking the last few swallows of his bourbon along the way. He'd almost made it to the door when he heard a female voice coming from behind him, but it wasn't Mac's.

"You aren't leaving so early, are you?" He turned to see Penny Mathers, the ambassador's wife.

"I'm not sure that I'd agree that it's early, but I'm afraid that I must go. Duty calls."

Several members of the embassy staff watched Penny move towards Harm like a tigress stalking prey. "If duty calls, I suppose you must."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Mathers."

"Penny, remember? And goodnight to you, too, Captain." Penny bit at her lower lip as she watched Harm's backside exit through the doorway, the thought running through her mind that he was the finest looking man that she'd seen around these parts in a quite a while.

Meanwhile, Mac was passing Major Johnson's office and noticed that the outer office door was open, which was very unusual. Mac slowed to take a look inside. She overheard a loud male voice that she recognized as Major Johnson's. Then she heard a woman's voice. It was too soft for her to be sure, but it sounded familiar.

Mac stepped closer to his office door and heard the major's voice clearly. "I love Penny, but she wouldn't have me unless I killed her husband. You screwed up everything by coming in here. I could have gotten rid of him and blamed one of them out there, but now my plan is ruined."

The woman's voice asked softly, "What are you going to do with me?"

Now closer to the inner office door, Mac recognized the female voice. It was Ms. Appleton.

Mac opened the inner office door and quickly scanned the room. The ambassador was lying on the floor.

Ms. Appleton was standing near the ambassador's body with tears rolling down her face, and Major Johnson was standing behind his desk, holding a gun with a silencer pointed at Lorna.

Lorna spoke to Mac. "I'd taken some refreshments to the team in your office. When I passed by on my way back to the ballroom, I heard two men arguing. I came in just as he shot the ambassador. "

"Shut up," Major Johnson said. "Penny told me that she loves me, too, but that she'd marry me only if her husband was dead. He couldn't keep her happy. I love her. I need her. Don't you see that I had to kill him so that I could have Penny?" He paused. "I'll need to give Penny and me enough time to get away from the embassy and out of the country, so I'm sorry, but I have to do this, too."

The major's gun was still aimed at Lorna, so Mac started to move in. The major swung the gun around and fired. Though Mac felt the burning of the bullet as it pierced her flesh, she didn't go down. She also didn't hear the second shot that forced her to drop to her knees and then to the floor with a burning sensation in her belly.

The major turned and pulled the trigger once more. That bullet sent Ms. Appleton to the floor.

Mac heard his footsteps as he left the room. She tried to stand, but unable to, she began to crawl towards the desk. She used the desk to pull herself up to a kneeling position.

Kneeling by the desk, she dialed the only extension number that she could remember, Ms. Appleton's. An agent working with Webb answered.

"Don't let Major Johnson leave the building and send medics to his office. We've been shot." Her energy tapped, she dropped back onto the floor.

For once, she didn't know how long had transpired between the time that she'd she'd spoken into the phone and when she heard voices.

The voices grew louder as they approached and then they echoed in her head. "The ambassador's down." "There's a woman next to him. "There's another woman down by the desk."

She then heard a familiar voice. "Sarah." Then she felt him take her hand. "You're going to be all right, Sarah. I've got people on the way up."

"Clay, it wasn't terrorists who were after the ambassador. It was Major Johnson. Lorna saw the major shoot him. Before the major shot us, he said that he was in love with Penny, Mrs. Mathers, but that she'd marry him only if her husband was dead, so he had to kill him."

Webb barked instructions. "You heard her. Find Mrs. Mathers and, when you do, put a guard on her until we can figure out exactly how much involvement she had in this ... and search this place for Major Johnson."

Webb took her hand in his and began to pat her arm. His voice became soft as he turned his attention to Mac. "Take it easy, Sarah. You can give us a full statement later."

Mac had been the only one to move from the point where she'd been shot, and Webb could see the blood where she'd gone down and the pool of blood where she'd collapsed by the desk as well as the trail between the spots where she'd crawled to the phone. It seemed like a lot of blood for one person to lose, and Webb was fearful that she wasn't going to make it.

"Don't leave me, Sarah. I love you. We'll get married and we'll be happy."

Mac sensed the tension and fear in Clayton through the contact with his hand, but she felt too weak to offer him any words of comfort.

A wave of euphoria washed over Mac, and it took the pain away. "It's okay. I'm not in pain anymore. I need to see Harm. I have to say goodbye."

"You can tell him about us when you're better," Webb said, blocking the idea that she was talking about saying a permanent goodbye to Harm and not a goodbye because she was choosing him.

The medics arrived and pushed everyone else out of the way to give them room to prep the victims for transport.

Webb came to her side as they loaded Mac into the ambulance. "I'll be there when you wake up."

She gathered her strength into a commanding voice. "Clay, I need to see Harm. Get him!"

Clayton Webb promised her that he'd get Harm to the hospital, and the ambulance drove away with her inside.

After assigning one of his men the task of finding Captain Rabb, Webb left for the hospital just moments behind the ambulance.


	17. Chapter 17

**PART NINE - Life with...**

As she was rolled into the ER from the ambulance, Mac was conscious of her surroundings, yet somehow disconnected from them. Her gurney stopped under bright fluorescent lights. A nurse with a clipboard started to ask her questions about current medications, if she could be pregnant, etcetera, while another nurse was checking her blood pressure and other vital signs.

An unknown amount of time passed before she heard a voice say, "The OR is ready."

Clay had followed the ambulance in his car, and he paced in the small waiting area until a nurse came to let him know that Colonel MacKenzie would be going into surgery shortly, but that he could see her briefly. He followed the nurse back towards Sarah's cubicle. He barely had time to see her because, the instant he arrived, Sarah's gurney came out into the corridor, being pushed by a team headed for the OR.

Clay managed to get close enough to reach for her hand and walked with them a few steps. "Sarah, I'm here. I'll see you after surgery." The nurse motioned for Clay to let go. Clay gave Sarah's hand a squeeze before letting her hand slip from his as the team pushed her gurney forward.

Being pushed down the corridor to the OR, Mac faded into a dream-like state as the pre op medications relaxed her completely.

As nurses and doctors rushed her through the doors of the operating room, Sarah was in a medicated-induced dream world.

Sarah was standing in front of a huge fireplace, staring at a wedding photo in a silver frame on the mantle. The mantle had no other pictures on it, not of friends, family or even some kind of pet, for that matter.

She turned away from the fireplace, and Clay was there in a tuxedo.

"Are you ready to go to Mother's club for dinner?" Clay asked.

Sarah nodded and reached for her wrap when he spoke again.

"I told Mother that we couldn't stay long because I'd promised to take you dancing for our anniversary." Sarah smiled, but she felt empty.

At dinner, Sarah was seated across from Clay's mother who spoke proudly of her son and made a toast to his anniversary with champagne. Clay raised his champagne glass to toast his wife.

"I want to say thank you to my beautiful wife for another wonderful year."

After lifting her champagne flute in thanks for her husband's toast, Sarah sipped champagne from her glass.

The next scene was of the two of them dancing. He was holding her, not close, but not like he was dancing with his sister ... something in between. They danced until the end of the song and then made their way to a table.

Sitting at the table, Clay spoke, "I bought you a little something."

Clay offered her a long, narrow box. "Happy anniversary, my dear Sarah. I love you."

Sarah opened the box to see a sparkling diamond tennis bracelet. "It's beautiful," she said, pushing the box back towards him. "Would you mind putting it on me?"

Her husband did as she requested and secured the bracelet on her wrist before kissing her hand.

"Clay, the bracelet is lovely, but I thought that my gift was going to be a trip, that you were taking me away for a romantic getaway for this anniversary."

"I'm sorry, Sarah. Since Kershaw retired, I've been so busy that I just couldn't work it out. You understand."

"My retirement ceremony is in two weeks. You are going to be there, right?"

"Of course, Sarah, I wouldn't miss it."

Sarah's mind fast-forwarded two weeks. She was seated, listening to her achievements being listed by a familiar voice, Commander Bud Roberts.

She searched the crowd for her husband, but she wouldn't see him there because he'd decided that he couldn't leave his current project to be there.

After taking her final walk as Marine Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, she heard the sweetest sound that she could remember, a voice that she hadn't heard since London in 2005.

"You look much too young to be retiring, Colonel," Harm said with a grin.

Mac blushed. "Well, thank you, Admiral. You're looking as handsome as ever."

"Thank you, and I must say that I think you're more beautiful than ever."

"When I sent you the invitation, I wasn't sure that you'd come. It's been awhile."

"Yeah, too long, but I wouldn't have missed it. You'll be at mine, right?" Harm asked.

"Wouldn't miss it."

Sarah's dream life with Clayton Webb faded to black as her body succumbed to the anesthetic.

************

Harm arrived at the hospital, barreled through the Emergency Room doors and approached the reception desk still dressed in his dress mess uniform. He hadn't had time to change when he'd heard the knock on his door and been informed by his driver from earlier in the evening that he'd been sent to take him to the hospital - that Colonel MacKenzie had been shot.

At the desk, he was informed that Mac was in surgery. Then he'd been shown to the surgical waiting area where he'd approached Webb and asked what had happened. Webb had filled Harm in on what he knew, including Mac's injuries.

The two men, having nothing more to talk about, sat in silence, waiting to find out if the woman whom they both loved was going to be okay.

They sat that way for almost thirty minutes before Webb spoke. "I asked her to marry me."

"What did she say?" Harm asked, not sure that he'd believe the man if he said that she'd agreed to marry him.

"I was going to meet her on the terrace after the ball for her answer."

Silence fell over them again as both men waited for news on Sarah MacKenzie.

Time was a foreign concept as they waited, each lost in their own thoughts and memories of the woman they loved, until one of Webb's men entered the waiting area and pulled Webb aside.

Webb returned to his seat a few minutes later. "My people have Major Johnson in custody. He isn't talking, so we can't confirm Mac's story of the ambassador's wife's involvement." Clay sighed. "The ambassador was shot in the chest, but the bullet missed any vital organs. He's in stable condition and should be fine. The secretary wasn't so lucky. She died on the operating table."

With the information that the guilty man was in custody and knowing the status of his other two victims, both men returned to their silent state to await the outcome of Mac's surgery.

Time passed, but neither man was aware of how much before a doctor emerged, asking for the family and friends of Sarah MacKenzie.

Harm and Webb both stood and hung on every word that the doctor was saying as he reported on Mac's condition.

"Both bullets bounced around inside, causing internal bleeding and some damage, and there was another complication, but we were able to get both bullets out. I don't think that she lost as much blood as we'd originally thought. I think her chances are very good. We'll monitor her closely for the next several hours and should be able to make a more definite assessment then. Unless you have any questions, the two of you should go home and get some sleep because she'll be out of it for several more hours, at least."

The two men thanked the doctor and, after giving their contact numbers to the nurse, both men left the hospital. Webb went to the embassy to question the major before lying down for a few hours of sleep. Harm went home, changed out of his uniform, got into his car and returned to the hospital.

Mac was still in recovery and wasn't allowed visitors when Harm returned. He paced for another hour or so before a nurse finally informed him that Mac was being moved to a room where he could see her.

**IN MAC'S ROOM - FORTY MINUTES LATER**

Mac tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids fluttered before finally parting, but they slammed shut from the harsh light in the room. Then she noticed the warmth of another hand covering hers, but she didn't need to open her eyes to know that it was Harm's. She tried to move, but pain shot through her body.

Harm was sitting at Mac's bedside, holding her hand and almost asleep when he thought that he heard a moan of pain come from the bed. He squeezed her hand gently and, to his surprise, he felt her hand move under his, but he saw no sign that she was awake, so he returned to his former position.

The nurse came in to check on her patient, and she was a little surprised when her patient's eyelids opened. "Hello, there."

Harm's head shot up, and he looked into Mac's brown eyes. "Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself" Foggy memories of Webb saying that he'd be there when she woke up caused her to ask, "Where's Clay?"

"He went to make sure that they got the guy who shot you. He'll be back in a little bit. Get some rest," Harm informed her. All the while, his heart was sinking at the thought that she'd awakened and asked about Webb.

Of course, Webb had been the last person who she'd seen before surgery. Maybe her asking about him wasn't a sign that he wouldn't need the ring that he'd bought after all, he thought.

Mac's eyes closed, and the nurse noted Harm's concern. She pointed to the monitor. "Her vitals are good. She's okay. The meds will have her going in and out for a few more hours yet."

The huge sigh that the big man let out in relief as he sat back in his chair was noticed by the nurse.

The feel of her hand in Harm's was the last thing that she remembered as her seemingly weighted eyelids shut, and she drifted back into a state of semi-consciousness which had been produced by the medications.

In Mac's sedated state of mind, she was transported to another time...another place.

Mac was standing in a wedding dress with her arm linked with Harm's. Then she heard an announcement being made. "This will be the bride and groom's first dance."

Harm held her like a gentleman as they began to dance for the first time as husband and wife.

Mac's second dance was with her Uncle Matt, while Harm danced with his mother for the second dance. A third dance was thrown in so that Harm could dance with Mattie and, so the bride wouldn't feel left out, Harm's stepfather, Frank, danced with Mac.

The reception hall was filled with laughter as their family and friends celebrated their union with them.

That scene faded out and another one started to fade in.

Mac was warming herself in front of a roaring fire when she heard Mattie's voice. "Come on, Mac. Harm said that we couldn't open presents until you were ready."

Mac turned to the right and saw a perfectly trimmed Christmas tree. Turning a little more to the right, she saw the smiling faces of Mattie and Harm, each with a present poised in front of them. She smiled at them. "Well, where's one for me?" she asked as she moved to join the two of them on the couch.

In the blink of an eye, the Christmas scene was gone.

Mac was now sitting on the edge of their four-poster bed, crying. Tears rolled down her face and her heart ached.

Harm entered their bedroom. He came over to the bed and sat next to her, slipping his arm around her and pulling her to him.

"Oh, Mac, it's okay. We'll try again."

"I don't know if I can. It's so hard when it doesn't work. I want a baby so much."

"I know, and we'll have one when the time is right."

"What if the time's never right? What will happen to us if I can't give you a child?" Her tone was one of aggravation.

"If we never have a child, it'll be hard, but we'll get through it because we have each other...together forever…remember?" Harm assured her.

Mac calmed as he rocked her softly and placed a kiss on her tear stained cheek. "I love you, Mac."

The scene faded out and another one began.

Mac was standing on a porch, watching about a dozen children playing. She heard Harm's voice coming from behind her before she felt his hand on the small of her back.

"They all seem to be behaving themselves and having a good time," Harm commented.

"I'm glad that Harriet and Bud could help you with this birthday party. I'm sorry that I haven't been much help," Mac stated apologetically.

"I wouldn't say that you haven't helped much. Our birthday girl out there ... I wouldn't have her without you. Besides, you've given me something beautiful to look at today." Mac looked at him quizzically, and he added, "You."

"Sailor, sometimes you say the nicest things," she said before kissing him on the cheek.

The hand at her back slipped around her, and his other hand came up to rest on her very pregnant belly. "In a few weeks, we'll be adding another birthday to the calendar." His hand rubbed over her belly. "Are you happy, Mrs. Rabb?"

She placed a hand over his on her belly. "Very, Mr. Rabb, I'm very happy."

As the scene ended in her mind, a smile appeared on her face at how happy she was in her life with Harm.

At her bedside, still holding her hand, Harm saw a smile spread across Mac's face. He had no idea that he was responsible for that smile.


	18. Chapter 18

**PART TEN – Something To Say **

Harm had sat holding Mac's hand through the night, leaving only when the doctor kicked him out, saying that he'd be in the way during his examination and suggesting that he go get something to eat.

It was after one such eviction from Mac's room that Harm returned with a cup of coffee in hand to find Clayton Webb pacing outside her door.

Webb addressed Harm upon seeing him coming towards him.

"I just came from seeing the ambassador. He's doing well, considering that he was shot, and while he watched from his hospital bed, we arrested his wife on conspiracy…" A nurse passing by them to enter Mac's room caused Webb to stop talking.

Before Webb felt comfort resuming the conversation, Mac's room door opened, and her doctor stepped out. "You're both here, good. She's doing very well. We're reducing the doses of her pain medication, so, when she wakes up, she'll be more alert and will stay awake a little longer. She still needs rest though, so, for the time being, only one visitor at a time and don't stay too long."

Both men thanked the doctor, and he left.

"Rabb, how long have you been here?" Webb asked.

"All night."

"You should go get some sleep. You look like hell."

"After I see her, I'll go," Harm stated flatly.

Inside the room, two nurses were checking the IV lines and monitors when they heard a faint voice. "My mouth's dry. Can I have some water?" Mac croaked.

The nurse who'd been in the room with the doctor looked down to see Mac's eyes open.

"I'll check the chart to see if the doctor authorized fluids," the nurse said, grabbing Mac's chart and scanning the doctor's notes. "I don't see anything, but I'll bet he hasn't gotten far. I'll go check with him and, if he okays it, I'll bring you some water."

The nurse who'd entered the room a few minutes ago took the chart from the other nurse and nodded at her that she'd take over while she went to check with the doctor.

"You have two nice looking gentlemen outside waiting to see you. The tall one's been here all night. You're a lucky woman," the nurse said while making note of Mac's vital signs on her chart.

Mac couldn't muster the smile on the outside that she had on the inside from the memory of Harm's hand wrapped around hers and her dream of a life with him.

The other nurse returned with a cup. "The doctor said that you could have some ice chips for now. He'll check on you later and probably allow you to have water then." The nurse elevated Mac's upper body a little by pushing the button on her bed before she put a cup of ice chips to Mac's lips and shook an ice chip into her mouth. "I told the two gentlemen waiting that you were awake. They're both anxious to see you, but you'll have to pick one because the doctor ordered that you may have only one visitor at a time and they can't stay long." She looked at the other nurse and then at Mac. "We're finished here, so it's up to you if you'd like to see one of them for a few minutes, or we can tell them that you're resting and can't have a visitor right now, if you'd prefer."

Mac's voice wasn't as hoarse sounding since the ice chip had begun to melt and coat her throat with some much needed moisture, but it still wasn't strong. "Send in the shorter one."

Outside, the two men paced, waiting to see Mac.

"I should be able to see her first. You've been here all night. It's my turn," Webb whined.

The nurses came out of Mac's room, hearing Clay's comment and, before Harm could begin a retort, one of the nurses spoke. "Gentlemen, the lady has chosen." Both men looked at her. The nurse looked directly at Webb. "She wants to see you."

Clayton Webb gave Harm a victory smile before walking into Mac's room.

The nurse, who'd informed the men which one the lady had chosen, wanted to reach out and touch the tall man who'd been left behind to offer him some comfort, but refrained, opting instead to inform him that his wait would probably be even longer than he hoped.

"She'll probably be worn out and in need of a nap when their visit is over, so you might not want to wait here."

Harm held up his coffee cup. "I'll go get a refill and come back in a few minutes. Please call me if she's ready to see me before I get back."

After the nurse agreed to call if she wanted to see him, Harm walked towards the elevators.

Harm didn't want more coffee. He just needed to walk off his current mood.

Harm pushed the down arrow for the elevator, wondering why Mac had asked to see Webb instead of him, especially when he'd been the one who'd stayed the night with her.

The things that Webb had said to him, both on Tuesday and while they were waiting to find out Mac's condition last night, were bouncing around in Harm's head when he stepped onto the elevator.

**MEANWHILE, IN MAC'S ROOM **

Mac had something to say and didn't want to wait until later to say it. She closed her eyes, trying to rally her strength and organize her thoughts, and didn't see Clay swagger confidently into her room.

She felt the warmth of someone's breath close to her face. Then she felt a kiss being placed on her cheek and she opened her eyes.

"Hello, Sarah. We got the major and, this morning, we arrested the ambassador's wife. Kershaw's grateful for your help."

Mac tried to take in a deep breath, but it hurt. He saw the pain in her eyes and reached for her hand. "I'm sorry, Sarah. Is there something that I can do for you?"

"Yes. I have something that I need to tell you and what you can do for me is listen." Along with the weakness in her voice, there was sadness, because she knew that what she was about to say would hurt him.

"Clay, you made me feel special and alive at a time when I needed it, and I loved you for it, but you and I want different things out of life. Those differences are why our relationship didn't work out before and why it wouldn't work out if we tried again. There's a woman out there somewhere for you who shares your vision of the future, and she'll she'll be very lucky to have you because you're a good man...but that woman isn't me."

"What can I say or do to change your mind?" Clay asked, squeezing her hand.

"Nothing," Mac said softly but firmly.

Webb looked crushed, and Mac wanted to elaborate on her answer.

"Do you remember in Paraguay when you asked me if I wanted children? I told you that I did with the right man. You said that you thought that I had the right man. You knew then that Harm was the one for me, so I know that this won't come as a shock to you. I'm in love with Harm. He loves me, too. We want the same kind of future and we want it with each other."

"If you ever change your mind..." Clay began, but the look in Sarah's eyes told him that he'd be wasting his breath, so he kissed her forehead and gently squeezed her hand. "Goodbye, Sarah."

"Goodbye, Clay."

Clayton Webb walked out of the room and out of the hospital without uttering a word to anyone.

Mac was exhausted, physically and mentally from her talk with Clay.

If what had happened with Sadik hadn't changed the way Harm felt about her, then she felt sure that she was going to have the life that she'd seen in her dreams.

Mac closed her eyes to rest and ready herself for a talk with Harm, but she fell asleep. The talk with Harm would have to wait until after her nap.

***********

While Harm had been killing time getting coffee, a sign in the cafeteria that said 'Saturday's Special' reminded him of a phone call that he needed to make, so he stepped outside into the fresh air and made his weekly call to Mattie.

The call to Mattie had been difficult because he was too tired to sound like himself and, when she'd asked what was wrong, he didn't know what to say.

Harm returned and stopped outside Mac's room. He looked at his watch. It had been thirty minutes since Webb had been allowed to enter her room. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as he pushed open the door, hoping that Webb was gone.

Harm found that his peacefully sleeping Marine was alone in the room.

The chair that he'd occupied last night was still in place and beckoning for him to take his place at Mac's bedside.

Harm sat down and took her hand in his. He absent-mindedly rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb while he watched her sleep.

Mac felt the warmth of his hand as it held hers. With the reduction in her medications, it was much easier to open her eyes at the familiar touch.

He was leaning back in the chair with his eyes closed. Mac didn't want to disturb him, but she knew that he wasn't asleep from the way that he was rubbing her hand. Besides, she had something to say to him, and she didn't want to wait any longer to say it.

Mac took in a deep breath, preparing to speak, but it was a huge mistake. It hurt, and a moan left her mouth instead of words.

Harm's eyes popped open at the sound of Mac in distress. Seeing that she was attempting to move, he said, "Take it easy."

"Have you been in here long?"

"No, I haven't been back long. I went to get coffee and call Mattie while Webb was in here with you."

"Did you tell Mattie what happened?"

"Yeah, well, part of it. She knew that something wasn't right and asked if I was okay. I told her that I was fine, but that you'd been hurt. I told her that the doctor had said that you were going to be fine, but that I was worried anyway." He looked away from her. "She asked if I was with you. I told her that you were here in London, and she asked if you'd been here the entire time. Mattie told me to tell you that she said hi and for you to get better fast."

"That's why the puppy dog look ...you're trying to get sympathy from me for ratting on me."

"Hey, you've got to go with what works," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, momentarily looking away from Mac.

When she didn't tease him for his remark, he looked back at her. She had a distant look in her eyes - like the one that she'd had on Christmas Eve before she'd apologized for pushing him away.

"He asked me to marry him," she said softly.

His voice was tense. "Did you say yes?"

Mac started to get angry at Harm for asking such an absurd question, but quickly realized that, from his perspective, she'd been giving him mixed signals, and he had every right to ask the question.

"I said no because he isn't the right man for me. I just hope that the man who I think is right for me still thinks that I'm right for him and that what's happened since I got here hasn't changed his mind about wanting to marry me, because I love him very much." Mac had tears in her eyes. Her tears weren't from being in pain, but from being fearful that Harm would reject her. "You said that you read the report so you know that you'd be marrying a murderer."

"I read the report, and though I think that I understand why you feel that you murdered him, as you put it, I don't see it that way at all."

"You don't?" Mac said, sounding intrigued and eager to hear his take on the matter.

"I don't." He paused to consider her condition. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this now. You should be resting."

"I don't want to rest until you've given me your opinion on what happened."

"Okay. The way I see it, your military training is partly to blame. You've been trained that, once your man is down and you have control of the situation, no further action is required. So, when you took the second shot, you see it as an unnecessary shot, overkill, if you'll pardoned the expression, but I don't agree with that assessment. Do you remember telling me that Sadik was responsible for the explosion in my car?"

After getting an affirmative nod from Mac, indicating that she remembered the conversation, Harm continued.

"Well, based on the transcript of the wire that you were wearing, Sadik's own words about being able to carry out attacks in a nightclub or the JAG parking lot tell me that you were right. So, I think that you took the second shot because, whether he was going for a weapon or not, he was still a threat, maybe not to you at the moment, but certainly to the public and, more importantly, to the people you care about. You didn't murder him, you eliminated a threat. You wanted to make sure that he couldn't hurt Webb or me ever again, and I understand that. If I were in your place, I'd have done the same thing to protect you or Mattie."

"If you understand, do you still want to get married?"

"Is that a proposal?" Harm teased.

She managed a smile. "Yes."

"Are you sure that you don't want to marry Webb?" he asked teasingly.

"I'm sure. I'm marrying you or no one."

"Then my answer is yes."

Her eyes filled with tears and, concerned, he moved as close to her as he could get, and their gazes locked.

"Harm, I want you to know that I never had any doubts about how much I love you. I just became overwhelmed with thoughts of everything that could go wrong to keep us from being happy."

Harm was choked up, not just because she'd said that she loved him, but because she'd opened up to him about her insecurities.

"I need to clear up a couple of points. Did you think that I'd believe that shooting Sadik was something that I couldn't understand or forgive and that I'd want to call off our engagement?" Harm asked.

"It's probably more complicated than that, but you've summed it up nicely."

"Is your not eating or sleeping also a result of being worried about me not understanding about the shooting?" Harm asked.

"I don't think that it has as much to do with that as it has to do with worrying about things like how to build a relationship with Mattie or if we're going to disagree on what kind of wedding we're going to have or if I'm going to be able to have a child with you," Mac confessed.

"Mac, let me see if I can help ease a few of those worries. When it comes to Mattie, remember that, emotionally, she's in a rough place right now. Some days I'm not sure that she even likes me. It takes some getting use to, but try to understand that, not only does she have bad days because of her accident, but she also suffers from the affliction of being a teenager. I hear that she'll outgrow that one," Harm joked.

"Now, when it comes to planning the wedding, whatever you want is fine with me, but can we leave out the goats?" Harm said with a grin, remembering Mac's comments that she'd made during a conversation about planning another wedding.

"As far as a baby goes, I don't know what kind of guy you think I am, but my desire to marry you isn't based on wanting to have a child. However, after we're married, I'm willing to do whatever we have to do to have a baby and, in the meantime, I'm willing to practice as soon as you're up to it," Harm said with a sexy smile.

Mac smiled at the sweet way that he was reinforcing the fact that he wanted to marry her, whether she could bear his child or not.

"I love you," Mac said softly.

"I love you, too," Harm said as his eyes locked onto Mac's.

They were caught in a love struck gaze until a nurse entered the room to check on Mac, breaking the mood, especially when she kicked Harm out of the room.

While Harm stood outside Mac's room, she was conspiring with her nurse to get Harm to go home so that he could get a decent night's sleep in a bed.

After the nurse had completed her inspection of Mac's surgery site, she told Harm that he could come back into the room, but told him he could stay for only a little while longer because her patient needed to rest.

Harm expressed his reluctance to leave Mac's side, which was a complication that Mac had anticipated, and the nurse was ready with a response.

"I don't think you understand. I'm not in the habit of releasing my patients to someone who doesn't look capable of handling their care, and if you don't get some sleep, I'll consider you to be unfit to care for her."

Harm was sure that the stout, older woman meant what she said, so he relented and agreed to stay only until Mac fell asleep.

So Harm sat at Mac's bedside and held her hand until she drifted off to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**PART ELEVEN – The Ring**

**SUNDAY, MAY 1, 2005  
**  
Harm was up early, so he went on his usual run before showering, shaving and getting dressed. He wasn't surprised that he felt hungry, because he couldn't remember eating anything since Friday night at the embassy.

Harm left his apartment, making one stop for breakfast on the way.

Harm entered Mac's room, and fear crept into every cavity of his body when he saw that Mac's bed was empty. He stepped back out into the corridor, and that feeling that she was near filled him. He looked to his right, and saw Mac and a nurse headed his way.

Mac waited until she was closer before she spoke. "They make you tour the halls for a few days before they'll let you out of this place."

The nurse added, "She's doing very well. The doctor says that she'll probably be released on Tuesday. She won't be able to fly home for several days after that, but she'll be out of here."

A few minutes later, the nurse had Mac settled back in her room. The nurse's comments led to a debate about Harm taking emergency leave to take care of her after discharge, but Mac won her case, and he agreed not to take leave.

Mac's breakfast arrived shortly after their debate ended. Mac ate well, but tired from her morning activity, she drifted off to sleep with Harm at her side.

After her nap, the nurse was back in to take Mac on another walk, but Harm filled in, and they walked to the end of the corridor were there was a small visitor's lounge with a big window that allowed in a lot of sunshine, and Mac wanted to sit and enjoy the sunlight for a few minutes before returning to her room.

Sitting in the peaceful lounge and basking in the sunshine, Harm broke the silence in the room. "I owe you an apology."

"For ratting on me to Mattie? You don't have to apologize, but I'd like to call her soon."

"I wasn't talking about that, though I am sorry for blowing your cover. I want to apologize for all the years that I left you unsure."

"I don't understand."

"Mac, I always thought that you knew how I felt, but that you didn't feel the same or you weren't ready. I don't know...something, but I thought you knew. Since you've been here, I've gotten a taste of my own medicine, so to speak. One minute I was _sure_ that you loved me. The next, I _thought_ you loved me, and then I was back to _yes_ she loves me. The next, I didn't think you loved me at all. I made you guess all those years...be a mind reader. After these last two weeks, I understand how I made you feel...why you had to hear me say it...confirm what you suspected but didn't really know. I'm sorry for that."

She patted his arm. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry about making you wonder these last few days. Being in the hospital, I've had a lot of time to think. It bothered me that I didn't make it clear to Clay that there was no chance of he and I getting back together."

"He said that you told him that we were engaged. That would've been enough to stop most men," Harm interjected.

"You'd think so, but it didn't, and he started sending me flowers and leaving me sweet little notes."

"And because I don't do those things, it made you have second thoughts about us...me?" Harm inquired.

"I was flattered by the attention, but no, he never confused my heart. He was messing with my head." Harm looked confused, but she wasn't finished with her explanation. "I have no way to be certain, but I don't think that he was doing it intentionally. I think that it's just the way he is, but, being the way I am, his efforts to woo me made me feel guilty about him being tortured in Paraguay and guilty of ending things so abruptly with him that we had unfinished business. I guess I thought that I owed it to him to as least listen to what he had to say, but we never really got time to talk...until yesterday, when I made it clear that there was no way that he and I would ever be together."

"So your business is finished?"

"With him, yes..." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "...but with you, I'm just getting started."

Harm was smiling. Her visit in London hadn't gone smoothly, but it sure sounded like it was going to end on a high note.

"Can you take me back to my room? I'm tired," Mac said with a yawn.

"Of course," Harm said lovingly before helping her to her feet and walking her back to her room.

Harm got her settled back into bed, and she was asleep within a few minutes.

Mac slept until the nurse came in to check on her before lunch arrived.

After lunch, it was time for another walk, but this time, they didn't stop anywhere. They walked just down the hall and back.

Mac didn't want to lie down after they returned, so they sat in chairs in her room.

The first thing on Mac's mind when they got comfortable was to tell him that he was going home again tonight. According to her, he needed to be rested for going to work in the morning, but that she'd be glad to see him whenever he was able to get away from the office. When she was finished with her lecture, Harm scooted his chair in front of hers.

Harm was about to turn the conversation serious. He'd been carrying something around in his pocket all day, just waiting for a time to give it to her. He felt that now was the right time.

"Mac, about what you said earlier, I don't think that you should feel guilty because I think that Webb was more at fault than you. He shouldn't have tried to woo you after you told him that we're engaged. I'm to blame in this mess, too. I told you that I wasn't going anywhere, but I haven't given you any reason to believe it. So, I want to give you something before you make me leave this evening." He paused to pull something from his shirt pocket. "I hope that this will serve as a reminder that I love you..." he began before he started to slip the diamond and ruby ring onto the ring finger of her left hand, which had been the last ring that she'd tried on in the little shop to which he'd taken her. "...and that, even if we aren't on the same continent, I'm with you ... there for you always."

The ring sparkled on her hand. "It's beautiful," she said.

He lifted her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of it before he applied a barely there kiss to her lips.

Their lips had parted only moments before the nurse came in to check on Mac.

Mac was feeling a little light headed, but she wasn't sure if it was related to her injury or caused by her state of bliss, but it was time to lie back down, either way.

After another nap and another stroll down the corridor, it was time for dinner. Even though she'd had several naps by the time her dinner tray arrived, Mac was tired.

Harm noticed the fatigue when she ate her dinner with less enthusiasm than her breakfast.

After dinner, he knew that it was time for him to leave.

"I'd better go so that you can rest, or they may never let you out of this place...and to help you pass the time while I'm at work tomorrow...see if you can figure out the reason why I thought that this ring was the right one for you."

"Are you going to give me a hint?" Mac asked.

"No."

"Will you stay until I fall asleep like last night?" she asked.

Harm nodded affirmatively, took her hand in his and sat beside her the way he'd done for the last two nights.

It didn't take long for Mac to fall fast asleep, and Harm stood, placed a kiss on her forehead and left her room as she'd instructed him, so that he could get some sleep of his own.

Harm got home from the hospital earlier than he'd planned, so he used part of the evening to unpack boxes. He knew that he didn't have to unpack all of them tonight, but if he was going to be bringing Mac home soon, at minimum, he needed the kitchen utensils and the rest of the bedding unpacked.

**MONDAY, MAY 2, 2005  
**  
Harm skipped his morning run and dressed in his uniform so that he could go to the hospital before going to work.

Harm had hoped to stay longer than he was allowed, but his visit was interrupted by nurses coming and going at far greater frequency than he thought necessary if Mac was doing well enough to be discharged tomorrow.

With his visit cut short, Harm went on to the office.

At the office, Harm called Bud and filled him in on Mac's recovery so that he could share the information with Harriet and their other friends.

The other non-routine thing in his day was getting a call from General Cresswell about the prosecution of Major Johnson.

The discussion was fairly short and, by the end of it, it was agreed that the Navy would allow the federal prosecutor to prosecute Major Johnson.

Harm worked through lunch so that he could get out of the office early because, if Mac was released from the hospital tomorrow, he had things to do such as buy groceries.

When he arrived home after a stop to buy groceries, Harm put them away, changed out of his uniform and left for the hospital.

Harm stayed at the hospital for a few hours until Mac sent him home to get some rest.

Harm would've protested leaving after such a short visit, but leaving early allowed him time to finish getting the necessary things unpacked before Mac's release from the hospital tomorrow.


	20. Chapter 20

**PART TWELVE – Time Together**

**TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2005  
**  
Harm skipped his morning run again to have time to unpack the last box of what he considered to be essential things, visit Mac and get to work early so that he'd be able to leave the office for the day at lunchtime to pick up Mac from the hospital. However, before he could leave the apartment, Mac called.

"Hey, Mac, I was just leaving to come see you," Harm said cheerfully into the phone.

"No, skip coming to see me because I need for you to do something for me. My clothes are all at the embassy. I don't have anything to wear to leave this place. I need for you to pick up my clothes at the embassy or, if you can't get in there to do that, you need to buy something for me to wear home. I have the strapless bra that I was wearing, and they managed to salvage my panties, but they had to cut that ball gown off of me," she said, sounding distressed.

Harm could hear the anxiousness in her voice. It was as if her clothing being at the embassy was the biggest problem in the world, but he guessed that, at that moment in her world, maybe it felt like a monumental stumbling block.

"No problem, I'll take care of it."

"Thank you," she said, sounding relieved.

"No need to thank me because I want you home with me as much as you want to get out of that place."

Since Harm was concerned that, if he showed up at the hospital this morning after Mac had asked him not to, she'd be upset that she wasn't going to have anything to wear when she was discharged, he went straight to his office and put in a call to Colonel Bridges, who was back on duty at the embassy. The colonel said that he'd have her things packed up and that a driver would deliver them to their apartment later that afternoon.

It was nice of the colonel to be so accommodating, but since Harm wouldn't be able to get any of her things before going to the hospital, he needed to make a stop to buy something for her to wear.

While Harm was having a stressful morning, trying to do everything that he needed to get done, a woman volunteer was helping Mac to get ready for discharge.

Though she was still in pain, Mac was pleased with being able to get her hair washed, and having it clean made her feel one hundred percent better. Then again, maybe it had more to do with the fact that Harm was going to be there soon to take her home and they were going to have a chance to spend some time together before she had to return to DC.

Mac's doctor came in to do his final exam, explain the surgical procedure that she'd had and to give her his discharge instructions.

Recounting the surgical procedure, he told her that her endometriosis had made her surgery more difficult and that he'd had to 'clean up' in there to find the second bullet, but that her uterus hadn't been compromised.

Mac tensed at the mention of her reproductive system. It was screwed up enough, she thought, but then it occurred to her that what he said might have changed things for her, so she asked, "If you removed more of the lesions, are my chances better for conception?"

"Though the tissue that I removed, or rather the area from where I removed it could certainly impact your fertility, it isn't my area of expertise, so I recommend that you consult with your gynecologist after you recover from this surgery to get his opinion."

In that moment, from the pain of being shot, hope sprang that the experience had increased her chances of having a baby.

Harm had gotten so busy at the office and was in such a hurry to get to the hospital that he hadn't stopped at a store on the way to buy something for Mac to wear. A stop at the hospital gift shop, where they did have a selection of simple cotton dresses to choose from, saved Harm from being late to pick up Mac.

The doctor was coming out of her room when Harm arrived. "You have good timing," the doctor said to him. "The nurse will give you some final discharge instructions and then she'll be ready to go."

Mac called the dress that Harm had bought a 'grandma frock,' but she had no problem with wearing it in order to get out of the hospital without having to leave in a paper gown with her backside showing. After having the garment on for a few minutes, Mac pointed out that the loose fitting dress may have been a good purchase since it didn't put any pressure on her abdomen or rub against her incision site.

They'd been waiting for nearly thirty minutes before the nurse came in for a discharge briefing. First, she went through a list of signs that could suggest a problem, including fever, redness at the incision site, etcetera. After completing that list of items, the nurse had another list. This was of Mac's physical restrictions. The nurse looked directly at Harm when she said that she was to have no strenuous activity including intercourse. The nurse's final point was making sure that Mac knew that she needed to be seen in three days for a wound check and then follow up with her regular physician to check the surgical site about ten days after that.

The ride home and the walk into the apartment tired Mac, so Harm helped her to the couch to rest. Mac was thrilled to see a pillow and a blanket on the couch, and she made herself at home. She didn't realize that they hadn't been put there specially for her. They were there because Harm had been sleeping there since he'd moved in.

Harm went to the bedroom to change out of his uniform and, when he returned to the living room, Mac was lying back on his pillow, wrapped in his blanket and sleeping peacefully.

Harm smiled at the sight of his very own sleeping beauty. He didn't want to wake her and moved about quietly. First, he called to check on things at the office and then he decided that setting up his home office would probably be the only thing that he could do that wouldn't disturb her. So he went to the third bedroom and began to work on placing his desk in a way that would leave room for her table of dinosaur bones when her things arrived there.

Harm was working at his newly set up desk when Corporal Jennings knocked at the door. He was thankful that Mac didn't stir.

The corporal had brought Mac's things from the embassy, including her updated orders. She'd be returning to DC on Saturday afternoon, barring any unforeseen complication in her recovery.

By the time the corporal left and Harm had moved her bags into the bedroom, it was time to make dinner.

The smell of something cooking woke Mac.

Harm's new place wasn't as open as his loft, and Mac couldn't see the kitchen from the couch, so she slowly rose and made her way to the kitchen.

After they'd eaten dinner and cleared their plates, Harm said that he'd clean the kitchen later, and he gave Mac a grand tour of the place now that it had at least some furniture in the rooms. Their bedroom was the last stop on the tour.

Harm was worried when he opened their bedroom door and she started to cry. She wasn't sobbing. It was just tears rolling down her cheeks.

Harm looked petrified. "What's wrong, Mac? Are you in pain?"

"No, it's the bed. I had no idea that you bought it."

"I bought it on Monday after I signed the rental agreement. Did I get the wrong one?"

"It's the right one," she said, walking over to the bed. She sat down on the edge of it. "It's very comfortable."

"I wouldn't know," Harm said sheepishly. "I haven't slept in it."

"Why not?" Mac asked, astounded.

"I've been busy. I just got it made this morning before I left for work."

Mac just shook her head and rolled her eyes at him as a mother would a child who she suspected wasn't being completely truthful with her, because Mac suspected that, though what he said was true, the rest of the story was either that he hadn't been interested in sleeping in a bed that he might want to return if she left him or that he was waiting to sleep in the bed until she was there with him.

Harm had told her that her bags had arrived from the embassy while she was napping, so she asked where they were and slipped off the bed.

After Harm had lifted the bag that she needed onto the bed, he asked if she needed any help in getting ready for bed. When she said that she could manage by herself, he went to clean the kitchen while she changed.

After the dishes were washed, Harm came in to check on her and found her already in bed.

"Care to join me, Sailor?" Mac asked softly.

Did he ever want to join her, but he had to question if it was a good idea for them to share a bed.

"Do you think I should? I mean, you just had surgery. Maybe I should sleep on the couch."

Mac's face took on a pout. "I don't want to sleep alone. Besides, since you haven't slept in it yet, we have to sleep in it together to make it _our_ bed," Mac purred.

He couldn't argue with her logic, especially since that's how he'd felt about sleeping in the bed since it had been delivered. It also wasn't hard to accede when he wanted to be close to her. After getting undressed down to his boxers, he climbed into bed and lay on his back, trying to lie still so that he wouldn't jostle his Marine and cause her any pain.

Craving contact with her, he reached for her hand and closed his eyes. Soon both of them were fast asleep.

**FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005**

Friday morning was a duplicate of Wednesday and Thursday morning. Harm got up, skipping his morning run to spend time with Mac. He made breakfast and ate with her before going about his morning routine to get ready for the office.

Friday afternoon differed from the previous two days because he came home at lunchtime to take Mac to her follow up appointment.

Harm wasn't happy that, after her appointment, he had to return to his office, especially since the appointment had gone well and she'd be leaving tomorrow.

After Harm had taken her back to the apartment, Mac sat around trying to deal with her conflicted feelings. On one hand, she was glad that her recovery was going well, but the downside to that was it meant that her trip back to the States would take place tomorrow as scheduled. Given the latter, she was also disappointed that the doctor hadn't lifted the ban on intercourse.

Friday differed from the previous two days in other ways, too. Harm had been getting home by 1730, but this afternoon he'd called to say that he wouldn't be home until 1800, maybe even 1830.

The other nights, Harm had fixed dinner after he'd got home. They'd talked while they'd eaten, and then Harm had done the dishes before they'd sat on the couch and watched a movie before going to bed.

With Harm due home late this evening and since Mac was feeling better, she decided that she'd cook dinner.

The wonderful aroma of something baking greeted Harm's nostrils when he entered the apartment.

Mac heard him come in and came in from the kitchen to greet him.

"Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes," she informed him before she was the recipient of a soft kiss.

"You cooked?" he asked in surprise when their lips parted.

"I did," she said proudly. "I wanted to do something nice for you before I have to leave." She lowered her head, breaking eye contact with him.

He gently wrapped his arms around her. "Would it make you feel better if you knew when we'd get to see each other again?" he asked in a whisper.

Mac nodded against his chest. "How does Memorial weekend sound to you?"

"Not as good as next weekend, but better than never," she said before looking up at him. "Why then?"

"I like the sound of next weekend better, too, but I didn't pick the date. The SecNav called while I was out of the office with you at your appointment. I had to stay at the office until I heard back from him. That's why I was late tonight. He wants me in DC for Memorial Day. There's going to be some kind of salute to aviators this year, and he wants me to be there. I won't have any idea of what kind of free time I'll have until after I get my final itinerary, but whatever free time I have, I want to spend it with you and Mattie."

"Should you tell Mattie that you're coming to town? I mean, if you end up not having any time to see her, she'll be heartbroken."

"I hadn't thought of that, so maybe we should keep my visit under our hats until I get a definite schedule."

The oven timer chimed, signaling that dinner was ready and causing them to break their embrace.

They ate and did the dishes together before Mac packed up her things. It was probably a good thing that Mac had to pack because, after what had happened last night, they might not be able to follow the doctor's orders.

*******FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT********

They'd settled onto the couch to watch a movie the same as they'd done for the last couple of nights.

The premise of the movie that they were watching became clear soon after the movie began. It was about a man who couldn't find love, so he decided to start writing love letters to the woman in his dreams. He wrote them in hopes that someday he'd meet the woman. Then he met her, gave the woman the letters and told her how long he'd been in love with her.

Harm knew early on that the guy was going to find the woman somewhere along the way, and there was nothing about the man's sappy journey to find love that he wanted to see.

Unable to focus on the movie, Harm leaned over to kiss Mac, and she moved closer to him. He kissed her again, and she moved a little closer until they were soon making out and doing more kissing than watching the movie.

********END OF FLASHBACK********

While packing, Mac decided that she'd lighten her bag by leaving her civilian clothes behind. She originally hadn't had many, but after shopping, that wasn't the case anymore, and Harm had said that he wouldn't mind her clothes hanging in the closet. It would be his reminder that she was finally his girl, even if he had to wait a little longer before they could live together.

Though the gloom of having to put her on a plane tomorrow was present, Harm would have to say that today hadn't been bad as he lay in bed next to her.

Mac's report from the doctor had indicated that everything was looking good, and she was well on her way to being a hundred percent again. Though he didn't have a schedule yet, knowing that he was going to be in DC in a few weeks, he was confidant that he'd be able to make time to see Mattie at least once, hopefully more. As far as time with Mac went, he hoped that they'd have an opportunity to spend time together, going out to do dating types of things and that his schedule would allow the two of them to spend time together with Mattie. The one thing of which he could be sure about his trip to DC was that he'd need some place to sleep, and he had the perfect place all picked out - his old bed with the pretty Marine who was now snuggled against him with her head on his chest to share it with him.

"I'm sorry that the doctor didn't give me the all clear for -" Mac began in a whisper.

Harm cut her off. "It's okay. You being well is more important. I can wait."

"Good night, Harm. I love you."

He wondered if she could feel his heart beat a little faster. He wasn't ever going to get tired of hearing her tell him that she loved him.

"Good night, Mac," he said before placing a kiss in her hair. "I love you, too."

**SATURDAY, MAY 7, 2005  
**  
Their morning routine was the same today, except that, after breakfast, Harm took Mac's bag to the car.

When he came back inside to get Mac, she was standing in the living room, staring out the window. Her hand was positioned in front of her, and she appeared to be staring more at the ring than outside.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "A penny for your thoughts," he said. His breath tickling her ear.

Mac turned in his arms. "I was just wondering about why you said that this was the right ring for me. I haven't thought of anything other than the obvious - it's beautiful. So, tell me. What's the significance or meaning that made this the perfect ring for me?"

"It stands for more than one thing, really. I didn't think of all of them at once, but before I bought it, I'd come up with three. The store clerk suggested one, but I have to say that none of them are very obvious."

"Well, we have eight minutes before we have to leave for the airport, so tell me the story of how this became my ring."

"I was out just exploring the city when I came across that section of shops that I took you to. I saw the jewelry store and I decided that I had to go in and have a look. I didn't see us as the traditional solitaire type, and I thought that this ring was unique. The clerk showed it to me and described it. The center stone is a two carat round diamond with a half carat, heart-shaped ruby mounted on each side, which makes it a three stone, three-carat total weight ring. The clerk talked about three stone rings symbolizing the past, present and future, and how that's a very popular trend right now. I was thinking that three multiplied by three is nine, the nine years that it's taken me to buy it. So meaning number one is the number of stones multiplied by the number of carats is equal to the number of years that it's taken for me to buy it and give it to you. The second one...the rubies represent our past and present, and the diamond represents our future," Harm explained.

"Why in that order?"

"Because diamonds are bright and sparkling, and so is our future," Harm replied with a huge smile.

"What's the third reason?"

"The third one didn't come to me right away." He paused. He knew that she'd tease him when she heard his answer. "Red and hearts are symbols of love, and they say that diamonds are forever. So the third reason that this is the right ring for you is because it says the way I feel...I'll love you forever."

Mac sighed. "This from a guy who thought that the movie that we were watching two nights ago was too sappy," she said playfully.

That was her only comment because, though she did think that it was a little sappy, it was romantic, and she secretly loved the amount of thought that he'd put into picking out her ring, but he didn't need to know that.

Her lips came to his lips, and they gave each other a kiss to remember until the next time fate gave them the chance to be together.

When the kiss ended, Mac's internal clock told her that they needed to head to the airport. She pulled back. "It's time to go," she said, but she didn't want to leave.

At the airport, he kissed her softly and whispered "I love you" into her ear.

In response, she looked him in the eye and returned his sentiment. "I love you, too," she said with a catch in her throat before she disappeared into the security area for international flights.

From the moment that Mac had left his arms at the airport, they'd both begun to count down the days until Memorial Day weekend when they'd see each other again.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 3 - A Memorable Memorial Weekend**

**PROLOGUE**

**In the weeks that followed Mac's departure from London: **

The Virginia court had asked for proof that, if given custody, Harm could provide care for Mattie in the form of a nurse or aid. He'd searched through various sources until he found an agency that could supply him with either a licensed nurse or caregiver on a temporary or permanent basis.

Between gathering information for the court, trying to keep up with the changes in his itinerary, which seemed to change daily, maintaining a well-run office, trying not to worry about Mac while waiting for word on her follow up visits, and unpacking, these last few weeks had been hectic.

Harm's sanity was maintained by daily emails, weekly phone calls and pictures that he'd unpacked.

Harm had put the picture of him and Mac taken in Afghanistan and Mattie's school picture on the table next to the bed, and though he liked seeing them first thing every morning, he hoped that, during the Memorial weekend, he and Mac could make time to get a 'couple's' picture taken, one without the military props.

**In the weeks that followed Mac's return to Washington: **

Mac returned to the office under light duty orders the Monday after her return to the States.

On May 10th, Mac met with General Cresswell to hand in her request for separation from the Corps and to begin terminal leave. She'd been dreading the moment when she'd turn in her paperwork because she feared that the general would again ask her to give her decision more thought. However, he'd asked only one question. "Are you sure that this is what you want?" When she'd replied with a firm, "Yes sir," the general had signed her request. It was the first step in the process. After a couple of more signatures, she'd be reunited with Harm in London.

At Mac's follow up appointment the morning of the 17th, her light duty had been modified, and she'd been given an appointment in ten days for what should be her final check up. After her appointment, she'd gone to the office. She'd been working for an hour and seven minutes when Cresswell had summoned her to his office to assign her a case.

The case of Ensign Williams would require Mac to do interviews, take statements and do research. This was the type of case that would've been the welcomed diversion that she'd wanted before her trip to London, and it would be a case that she'd want after Harm left, but with Harm's arrival nine days away, it wasn't a case that she wanted right now.

**In the weeks that followed Harm's departure from DC:**

Mattie had begun to address the issues with her counselor that she had concerning her father. The counselor had been trying to convince Mattie that her father's drinking wasn't her fault, that he just hadn't been far enough along in his recovery to handle the situation, but it was hard for the teenager not to see it as her fault when he'd been doing so well before her accident - if only she hadn't wanted to learn to fly, he wouldn't have fallen off the wagon, was how Mattie saw it.

However, guilt wasn't the only emotion that Mattie was feeling. She was also stressed by her recovery - not only by the actual physical demand on her body while doing the exercises, but by the fact that, though she did want to walk again, she didn't want to finish the program. Completing her therapy program meant that she'd be released to go home, but with Harm in London and her dad too drunk to take care of himself, let alone her, she felt like she no longer had a home.

Along with the feelings of loneliness from being isolated from her friends by not being able to attend school, she was dealing with a lot of issues that girls her age weren't used to dealing with, and the mixture of emotions was taking a toll on her mental health.

After Mac returned from London, she resumed her previous, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday schedule for visiting Mattie.

Though Mattie was glad to see Mac when she'd arrived for her first visit after her return, seeing Mac wearing an engagement ring, symbolizing the unity between she and Harm, caused Mattie to feel left out as if the world outside was moving along while she was sitting idle in her room. The feeling that life was passing her by made Mattie appear depressed during their visit, and the dark cloud hanging over her head lifted only momentarily when Mac fastened the bracelet around her wrist that she'd bought for her in London.

In some way, the bracelet made Mattie feel connected to Mac, and her visits began to mean more in a way that Mattie couldn't explain. It was on one Tuesday evening when Mattie got some clarity on the reason why.

********FLASHBACK********

**Tuesday, May 17, 2005**

Mattie was beaming as Mac breached the threshold of her room.

If it hadn't been for the possibility that the smile plastered on Mattie's face had something to do with the unfamiliar woman who was sitting in a chair at Mattie's bedside, Mac would have thought that Mattie had found out that Harm was going to be in town in a little more than a week.

Mattie saw Mac in the doorway and acknowledged her presence to the woman.

"There she is. I told you that she'd be here tonight," Mattie said, her voice strong and bubbly.

As Mac stepped farther into the room, the woman stood to face Mac. The woman introduced herself. "Hello, I'm Donna LeMoine, Mattie's court appointed Guardian Ad Litem."

Mattie spoke before Mac could. "She's Mac, Harm's fiancée."

Mac knew that she should respond, but it took her a second to find her voice. It was the first time that Mac had been introduced as Harm's fiancee, and it had rendered her temporarily speechless.

Mac had been running late this evening, so she hadn't changed out of her uniform and thus thought it appropriate to include her military rank when she introduced herself. "Ms. LeMoine, it's nice to meet you. I'm Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie." Having heard Mattie call her Mac, she added, "My friends call me Mac, short for MacKenzie."

Ms. LeMoine asked to speak to Mac privately. Her questions were to the point when she asked about Harm, her relationship with him and some personal questions about herself.

When Mac returned to Mattie's room, Mattie couldn't stop asking questions. She wanted to know what Ms. LeMoine had asked her.

Before saying goodnight that evening, Mattie said, "Sarah's a pretty name."

********END FLASHBACK********

It was that Tuesday night while Mattie listened to Mac recount her conversation with Ms. LeMoine that she realized that the bracelet wasn't just a gift from Mac, but a symbol that Mac had accepted that she was as important in Harm's life as Mac herself was, and that meant that they were going to be part of each other's lives.


	22. Chapter 22

**PART ONE **

**THURSDAY, MAY 26, 2005 **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Mac had left the office early to avoid the rush hour commute that always overcrowded the roads, but traffic had still been heavy, and she'd arrived home just minutes ago. She did her usual look around. Her patrol today was part security check and part to see if Harm or his things were there.

After the movers had come and taken the things that Harm had wanted transferred to London, Mac realized that she'd need some of her furniture to use in the loft, so Mac had asked Varese if she could have a few things from her apartment. All she'd wanted were the couch, the coffee table, the armoire, the television and the VCR/DVD player with the stand. She'd left Varese the chairs and end tables so she wouldn't be without a living room. Harm had left his bedroom furniture, so she was missing only a dining room, but the breakfast bar with the barstools that Harm had left served effectively as her dining table. Mac hadn't picked the pieces that she'd brought with her for sentimental reasons. She'd picked them for practical reasons. The couch and coffee table gave her some place to sit and work. Behind the armoire was where she'd always kept her gun, so she'd placed it where his bookcase had been, and the pistol that she'd always kept ready near the door had its proper place.

After checking the apartment, Mac went to the answering machine, but found no messages, so she headed to the bedroom to change clothes. Any other Thursday, she wouldn't have fought traffic into the city to change. She simply would've stopped in Arlington to visit Mattie in uniform, but tonight was different. Harm was arriving, and she should've heard from him by now.

***********

As the driver, who the SecNav had sent to pick him up at Andrews and take him to his home, neared the turn that would bring his old building into view, Harm looked at his watch. It was 1615.

When the driver parked the car in front of the building, Harm didn't look for her car, opting to quickly gather his things and get inside since it was too early to expect Mac to be home.

Harm decided that he couldn't wait to tell Mac that he was at the loft, so, in the elevator, he pulled out his cell phone to call her.

Harm was standing outside in the hall near the apartment door, fumbling through the side pocket of his bag and trying to hold his cell phone to his ear at the same time, when Mac answered her phone.

********* **

It was 1618, and Mac was checking to see if she'd missed a call on her cell phone when it rang.

Having seen the caller ID, she was trying to hide her excitement. "Hello," she said, her voice calm.

Hearing her voice was music to his ears. "Answered on the first ring. Were you expecting a call?"

She began to pace the living room. "I was actually expecting a visit, but I thought that he might call if his schedule changed and he wasn't going to make it in tonight after all."

"They didn't change my schedule, but I did have a long, rough flight. My bags got knocked around, and I can't seem to put my hand on my key to the place at the moment, but I'm here. When will you be home?"

"You're at the apartment?" she questioned into her phone while rushing towards the door, hoping that he meant here at the apartment and not here, as in here in DC.

"Yes, at the apartment. I'm standing outside the door, searching for the blasted key at the moment." He could sense her presence, but thought it to be only wishful thinking on his part.

"If you bring your bag inside, you can just dump it out to find the key. It'll make it easier," Mac said before pulling open the door. She had to use the door to support herself when she saw him standing in front of her.

He'd been fishing around in his bag for the key, but he thought that her last words sounded too clear for him to be hearing them through the phone, so he looked up.

His phone dropped away from his ear, and he flipped it closed while moving towards her. She moved back, flipping her phone closed as she did and allowing him to enter the apartment.

Harm entered, and she pushed the door closed. "Why don't you get something to drink or just relax for a minute? I'll take your bag, and you can look for your key later." She reached for his bag.

"Thanks, but I'll take it." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'd like to change while I'm at it."

A few minutes later, changed and looking refreshed, he came down the steps to rejoin Mac. Her back was to him, but he saw that she was on the phone. He didn't know who Mac was talking to, but he could hear Mac's side of the conversation.

"I'm running a little late, but I'll be leaving in a few minutes." .... "I just didn't want you to worry." ... "Okay, bye."

Mac ended the call and immediately felt his hands on her arms and his breath on the back of her neck. He spun her around and kissed her. The kiss was hard, but not rough, and his arms wrapped around her as the kiss intensified, and she began to melt in his arms.

The kiss wasn't only a loving way to greet his future wife, but a means to let her know that he was happy to see her before he told her that he wanted to see Mattie tonight.

Harm tried to gather his thoughts. He didn't want it to sound like he didn't want to spend time with Mac, because he mostly certainly did, but he also wanted and needed to see Mattie.

With Mac in his arms, it was tough to find the words to tell her that he already wanted to leave the apartment, but as he was gathering his strength to do just that, she brought up the very subject about which he'd been thinking.

***********

With Harm's arms around her and her head reeling from his kiss, she leaned against him, and they stood in silence for a few moments before she decided that she needed to clue him in on the call that she'd been on when he'd come into the room.

"I was talking to Mattie. I was going to go see her tonight, as usual, but I've been dragging my feet, hoping that you'd arrive. If changing and freshening up helped shake off the long flight and you feel up to coming, I know that she'd love to see you." She paused. "If you'd prefer, I'll stay here so the two of you can have some time alone to talk."

Harm applied a kiss to her forehead before he pulled her into a short, but enjoyable second kiss. "I think we should get going. You told her that you'd be leaving in a few minutes."

Mac pulled herself out of his embrace and retrieved her purse from the counter. "I'm ready," she said and, with that, they left the apartment.

Harm looked tired and offered no argument to Mac driving. Once they were on their way, Harm gave her the highlights of his itinerary. Tomorrow: Meeting with the SecNav, 0900, rehearsal of the ceremony at The Wall, 1100. Saturday and Sunday had a one line notation: 'No activities currently scheduled.' Not currently scheduled, put simply, meant that he was at the mercy of the SecNav. If the SecNav wanted him to be somewhere, he'd be duty bound to be there, even if it were the last place on earth that he wanted to be. Monday: The ceremony was listed from 0800 to 1130. A luncheon was scheduled from 1200 to 1330. Tuesday: Depart from Andrews at 0800.

Mac gave him Bud's message. If Harm's schedule allowed, he was invited to the Roberts' Memorial weekend cookout on Sunday.

Mac had hoped for a little hand holding in the car, but no luck. He'd said that it had been a rough flight, so perhaps he needed a little while to decompress. At one point, Mac asked if she should stop so that he could get something to eat, but he said that he wasn't really hungry.

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER**

**ARLINGTON, VA**

A plan to surprise Mattie had been devised in the car on the way here, so Mac entered Mattie's room while Harm stood in the hall just outside the door.

As soon as Mattie saw Mac, she was asking about Harm. Mattie had received his email saying that he was leaving London on business, and she wanted to know if Mac knew anything.

In the hall, Harm felt badly for not taking into account the impact that Mac's recent 'business trip' injury may have had on Mattie until he heard the distress in her voice as she fired questions at Mac. He couldn't wait outside, knowing that she was upset.

His timing was right on as Mattie fired her latest question "Is Harm okay?"

Mac saw Harm in the doorway. "I'd say that flying through five time zones has him a little tired, but other than that, he's fine..." Mac pointed her index finger towards the door while speaking. "...but you can see that for yourself."

Harm came into Mattie's room. His smile and "hello" were greeted with the first of many questions, which, after he'd given her a hug, he sat in the chair at her bedside to answer.

Mac slipped out of the room so that Mattie and Harm could talk without her there. However, ten minutes later, Mac returned, asking him to join her in the hall.

Harm followed Mac towards the nurse's station where a blond, forty-something woman with soft features stood. The woman was making notes on a chart and looked up as they approached. Harm didn't have a clue as to this woman's identity, but he didn't have to wait long for Mac to make introductions.

Mac's hand waved in Harm's direction as she spoke. "You said that you've heard a lot about Harm from Mattie. Well, this is Harm. Harm, this is Dr. Browning. She took over as Mattie's counselor from Dr. Wells the week after you left."

Dr. Browning motioned to an office next to the nurse's station. "We'll have more privacy in there."

In the office, Dr. Browning moved to take a seat behind the big metal desk, motioning for Harm and Mac to sit down. Mac reached for Harm's hand. "I speak with Mattie every Thursday. We're usually finishing up when Ms. MacKenzie arrives. I waited this evening to speak with her, but when I saw her in the hall, she said that you were here, Mr. Rabb, and I wanted to meet you. I find it strange that Mattie didn't mention that you were coming to town for a visit."

"Mattie didn't know. I was brought here on business and I wasn't sure that my schedule would allow me time to visit, so I didn't tell her that I was coming, just in case."

"Not telling her was probably a wise decision on your part, given how connected she feels to you. Mattie seems to be very understanding of your military life. Mattie's bond with Ms. MacKenzie has certainly grown over the last few weeks. I attribute that growth to the potential loss of Ms. MacKenzie when she was injured several weeks ago. I also think that it has something to do with Mattie's acceptance of her as a mother figure now that Ms. MacKenzie is engaged to you, Mr. Rabb. That bond is the reason why I wanted to talk to you this evening, Ms. MacKenzie, and, with Mr. Rabb being here, it'll just make things move along more quickly."

Mac's chest felt heavy. What was wrong with her relationship with Mattie?

"Is there a problem?" Mac and Harm voiced the question in unison.

"Let me fill you in on some of the things going on with Mattie before we talk about the reason why I wanted to see you." She paused, giving the couple few seconds to relax before she continued. "Mattie and I have spent a great deal of time talking about her father in the last two weeks. I've tried to contact him both at home and at work without success. Mattie told me of his drinking problem, and my only reason for contacting him was to try to get insight into how to better help Mattie through her issues. However, to my surprise, Mattie seems to be doing better than I'd have thought. I credit that in part to Mattie's own strong personality and her relationships with the two of you." She paused again to observe the couple sitting in front of her.

Mac was fidgeting nervously for fear that, though everything had seemed fine, she was going drop a bomb, like maybe she couldn't see Mattie anymore.

Noticing the fidgeting, Dr. Browning continued. "I'd like to verify some things that Mattie has told me before I continue, if that's all right?" Both of them nodded in agreement, and she continued. "The two of you are engaged to each other, correct?"

They replied, "Yes."

"Have you set a date?"

"No," Harm stated.

"I understand that the two of you have known each other a long time. Ms. MacKenzie, are you in agreement that Mattie should be in Mr. Rabb's custody?"

"Yes," Mac replied, puzzled by her question.

"I'd like to ask why you didn't seek joint custody of Mattie."

It was Harm who answered. "I petitioned the court prior to proposing. To refile a petition would have delayed the court in setting a date for a hearing. Once our engagement was official, I notified the court at the earliest possible time of my intent to marry."

Mac added, "I was interviewed on the 17th by Ms. LeMoine, and a Mr. Watlee interviewed me the following evening at home."

"So, Mr. Rabb, not filing a joint custody petition was in no way an indicator of any apprehension on your part of the ability of Ms. MacKenzie to care for Mattie?"

Harm wasn't too happy with the turn in the conversation, and the tone of his answer reflected that. "No!"

Dr. Browning was aware that her last question hadn't sat well, but it had been a necessary question. "I had to ask, Mr. Rabb. I'm sure that you'll understand when I explain my reason for wanting to speak with Ms. MacKenzie tonight." Dr. Browning waited for a moment before continuing in order to allow Harm a moment to calm down.

"With Mattie being so close to completion of her physical therapy program here, I'm not concerned about a setback to her physical recovery. I'm concerned with her mental recovery. I've been working on something over these last couple of weeks that I think will help Mattie. Since you live outside the country, Mr. Rabb, and Mr. Johnson would be of more harm than good at this point, I've asked the court to give special circumstances consideration to allowing a third party to take Mattie out for an off site visit."

Dr. Browning paused again to watch the couple exchange looks between them before she continued. "An off site visit means what the name implies. The patient is allowed off hospital grounds for an amount of time decided by the doctors to visit with family or friends who might help them with recovery or prepare them for reentry into the family unit with whatever new physical limitations they may have. It allows the patient to be in familiar surroundings or with familiar people in an everyday situation, allowing the patient to get reacquainted with home surroundings or family members in small increments before they're released. The lack of a parent or legal guardian in Mattie's case makes setting up such a thing much more difficult. However, I received an answer from the court on my request this afternoon. After interviewing Ms. MacKenzie and speaking with Mattie, Ms. LeMoine recommended that Ms. MacKenzie be allowed to take Mattie for off site visits. Now I need to know if that's acceptable to you, Mr. Rabb, as her potential guardian and to you, Ms. MacKenzie, as the one who'll be responsible for Mattie outside the hospital before I can proceed."

Harm and Mac looked at each other. The couple had been holding hands since they'd sat down, and Dr. Browning watched as the two of them communicated silently. Dr. Browning wasn't surprised when, without a word uttered between them, they turned to her and agreed to the off site visit arrangement.

Dr. Browning finished up with the couple by letting them know that she thought that she could have the paperwork done by late tomorrow. By doing so, perhaps Mac could take Mattie out while Harm was still in town. The three of them agreed that, for much the same reasons that Harm hadn't mentioned his visit to Mattie, until the paperwork was done, they shouldn't mention this to Mattie either.

The only question that Mac had for Dr. Browning was about where Mattie could go. Dr. Browning explained that Mattie's physician would dictate how long Mattie would be allowed off site or what any other limitations might be.

Back in Mattie's room, the conversation between the three of them - Mac, Mattie and Harm - moved along easily from one subject to the next. Surprisingly enough, the explanation that Dr. Browning had wanted to meet Harm seemed to be enough of an explanation for the usually extremely curious teenager.

The topic that drew the most questions was Harm's schedule while he was in town.

At one point, Dr. Browning poked her head into the room and asked to speak with Mac. The two women stepped into the hall, and Dr. Browning gave Mac a packet of information about the rules for taking a patient off site for her to review. Dr. Browning said that she'd leave the paperwork, which would allow Mac to take Mattie off grounds with her at the nurse's station on Friday night, and Mac could pick it up on Saturday by showing an ID.

Mac returned to Mattie's room after speaking with Dr. Browning, but as the three of them sat in the room, Mac could see the growing signs of fatigue in both Mattie and Harm. Not knowing how much longer Mattie would be able to stay awake, Mac excused herself to go get something to drink, but it was only an excuse to leave the room to give Harm and Mattie some time alone to talk, just in case this was the only time that he got to visit her while he was in town.

Harm and Mattie did talk, but it was becoming increasingly hard for Mattie to keep her eyes open. Her eyes would close, and she'd begin to drift off to sleep. Then she'd force herself to wake up to talk some more.

After the third nod off, Harm took Mattie's hand in one of his. "I'd better go. You need your rest. I'll visit again if I can."

After a soft "good night" from Mattie, she quickly fell asleep.

Harm found Mac sitting in a chair in the corridor just outside of Mattie's room.

Mac spoke first. "I could see that she was getting tired. I knew that she'd drift off and I wanted you two to have some time together."

"Thank you, but you could have stayed." He paused. "I think I could use a few hours of sleep myself."

She stood. "I want to go in and say good night first." Harm nodded, and she went into Mattie's room, returning only a couple of minutes later.

Harm was exhausted, and the only time that they really spoke on the way home was when Mac offered to stop and pick up something for him to eat, but he told her that there was no need because he was really more tired than hungry.

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Once inside the apartment, Mac asked. "Have you been getting any sleep?"

"Usually, but last night I was too excited."

Mac had to tease him. "Excited about what?"

His eyes made contact with the floor, and he had the look of a little boy dragging his toe through the sand. "...About seeing you."

Mac had to hold in the laugh that was threatening to come out over his boyish behavior, but she couldn't suppress the smile. "We'd better get you to bed so that you aren't cranky with the SecNav in the morning."

"I was beginning to think that you were never going to ask me to bed." The little boy was gone as he flashed his flyboy smile.

"You're tired, and I don't have the green light for that yet," she replied with a slight blush on her cheeks.

Mac opted for changing in the bathroom. When she came out, Harm had already stripped down, was lying on his back under the covers and appeared to be very comfortable and nearly asleep.

Mac crawled under the covers and snuggled against him. His arms closed around her. She rested her head on his chest, tucking the top of her head under his chin.

"I missed you," he said before kissing the top of her head.

"And I missed you," she replied.

Knowing how much he needed rest and hoping that tomorrow the doctor would release her for more intimate activity, she snuggled in a little closer, and they drifted to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**PART TWO **

**FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm was sleeping soundly when the feeling that he'd overslept caused his eyes to pop open. He turned to look at the clock, 0415.

The abrupt wake up delayed his senses, so it took a moment for the female form lying with her side against his and her head resting on his outstretched arm to register. However, his recollection of the previous day, from boarding the plane to Mac crawling into bed with him, quickly followed. He breathed a little easier knowing that he wasn't dreaming or losing his mind - he was only time zone challenged.

Harm rolled onto his side to look at her. He watched her sleep until the closeness of their bodies awakened other parts of him, and then he remembered that she wasn't cleared for the kind of early morning maneuvers that he had on his mind. He fought his yearning and tried to go back to sleep, but after a few minutes, he realized that trying to sleep was futile and he slipped out of bed.

Quietly, he dressed and left for a morning run. Upon his return, he started a pot of coffee before going to shower.

Mac woke and didn't have to open her eyes to know that it was 0532. With the spot next to her empty and the smell of brewing coffee finding its way to her nostrils, she knew that Harm was already up.

Harm was in the kitchen preparing breakfast and, as she came down from the bedroom, she could clearly see his bare chest.

As she approached him, he stretched out his arm, offering her a cup of presumably coffee. Once close enough to accept the proffered cup, she noticed that he was already dressed from the waist down. Though she'd been hopeful that she'd get to see more of his fabulous physique, it was probably for the best that she not see it before the doctor gave her the okay to resume having intercourse.

During breakfast, they reviewed their schedules with each other. It was a necessary conversation since they had only one car between them and they were expected in different places and in opposite directions, so carpooling was out of the question.

A quick phone call to PO Coates solved the problem. Mac would ride to work with Jen, and Harm would take the car. Mac would arrange for a rental car to be delivered once she got to the office and, thinking ahead, Mac suggested that she get a vehicle suitable for transporting Mattie in case the paperwork came through for her to take Mattie off the hospital grounds for a day while Harm was still in town.

Mac's doctor's appointment was late this afternoon, and since she expected to be in traffic at the height of the daily commute on the way back from Bethesda, she suggested that, if his schedule permitted, Harm go to see Mattie for a little while, and then they could meet for a late dinner at the apartment.

While Mac showered and dressed, Harm cleaned up the kitchen before it was time for both of them to leave for work.

Before Mac left the privacy of the apartment to meet PO Coates, they shared more than a friendly kiss and wished each other a good day.

With Mac on her way to work, Harm finished dressing and left for his meeting with the SecNav.

***********

The meeting on Harm's itinerary this morning was a meeting of those officers who'd been invited to the luncheon after the ceremony. The SecNav was giving them a list of dos and don'ts when handling the press and political figures who'd also be attending. The SecNav also informed Harm that, if the rehearsal went well this afternoon, he'd have the weekend off, and Harm was pleasantly surprised when his workday ended at 1330.

Harm returned to the apartment and made a quick call to Mac to verify the time of her appointment and a time to meet for dinner before he changed into jeans and a blue/gray pullover sweater.

The final thing that Harm did before leaving the apartment to go see Mattie was to inspect the refrigerator for anything edible and found that he'd have to do some shopping in order to cook dinner.

Harm arrived in Mattie's hospital room, bearing a gift-wrapped box, which Mattie wasted no time in opening. It was a book about England with a big section on London. Mattie thumbed through the book and asked a few questions. They talked about various things until Mattie's nurse came in. A discussion about Mattie's need to rest because she'd overdone it today in therapy became a hot topic. Harm gave Mattie a parental look, and Mattie knew that he'd be leaving soon so that she could rest. Harm let her know that he wasn't going to have to work the weekend so he'd be by to see her tomorrow before he wished her pleasant dreams and sat quietly by her side until she'd fallen asleep before leaving her room.

On his way to buy groceries after his visit with Mattie, he thought about how lucky he'd been that the nurse had come in to inform him that Mattie needed to be resting because it had made it much easier for him to leave without upsetting her to go home to have dinner with Mac.

***********

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Mac's furnishings had certainly made the place look different, yet it had a familiarity to it that allowed Harm to move about the kitchen with ease and in comfort now that he'd shed his shoes.

Harm hoped that he could pull off a romantic evening. He shook his head and snorted at the thought of romance. He'd never cared about that stuff before. He really had this love thing bad.

Harm was going over a mental checklist: dinner cooking, the coffee table set - he'd had to use it as a substitute for a dining table - when the phone rang. It was Mac. Traffic was finally letting up, and she should be arriving in about fifteen minutes. The call ended, and he went about adding the finishing touches. He made a salad, turned on the stereo and lit candles before flipping off the lights.

Mac entered, put her briefcase down by the door and surveyed the room. A trio of pillar candles acted as the centerpiece to the carefully set coffee table, while soft music played in the background. Candlelight and light filtering in from outside through the windows lit the room. She was touched by the effort that he'd made.

Harm came to her and greeted her with a peck on the lips in greeting. She removed her shoes, tie and jacket. She was now more comfortable and ready to indulge in whatever it was that he was cooking, because it smelled wonderful.

They ate and talked about work related items, in particular, the case that she'd been recently assigned involving Ensign Williams, which made dinner tonight reminiscent of their working dinners of the past.

Harm wanted to ask her about her doctor's visit, but was afraid that it would sound too much like he'd planned this evening to get her into bed, and that wasn't the case. He'd planned this evening because he loved her, so if she didn't bring up the doctor's appointment tonight, then he'd ask her about it tomorrow.

Harm volunteered to clean up while she relaxed and tried to forget about the Williams case for the time being.

Mac went to change and, when she came back, she was wearing a knee-length, red satin robe. After he politely refused another offer of help to clean up the kitchen, Mac went to wait for him on the couch.

With dinner dishes out of the way, Harm joined her. He sat close to her and put an arm around her shoulders. He'd just settled into place when Mac spoke.

"I must say that you outdid yourself tonight. Dinner was excellent, but you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all," Harm said, beaming at the compliment of his cooking skills.

Her tone and facial expression turned serious. "When we were here last, you said that your other women were in the past, but is there anyone with whom you have unfinished business?"

It took him a few moments to remember the conversation that they'd had in London about her feeling that she owed it to Webb hear him out because she felt that the relationship had ended so abruptly that she had unfinished business with him.

"No, I don't have any unfinished business with anyone," he assured her.

"So I don't have anyone to worry about ... not even your first wife..." She made a funny face when she said wife, referencing his sham marriage to Catherine Gayle. "...or Professor -"

He cut her off with a delicate kiss to her lips. "No one, I'm all yours ... and, for the record, I 'married' her only to find you."

Mac pulled herself off the couch and swiveled herself onto his lap. His left arm went behind her back, wrapping around her at the waist while his right arm rested across her legs.

Mac placed her palms on the sides of his face and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. Then a second kiss began, and it deepened.

Harm forced himself to part from her because she hadn't mentioned how her appointment with the doctor had gone, and he knew that kissing would quickly lead them to other things.

Mac knew that he was pulling away because he was afraid that she wasn't well enough to make love yet. "Do you want to hear what the doctor said?" she asked.

Harm tried to sound concerned and not eager, but he was both. "I do, whenever you're ready to tell me."

Mac's tone was seductive and her volume was low. "He said that I shouldn't overdo. If I ran say five miles before, for example, I should start with a mile and, if all went well, I shouldn't push for two. I should stay with one for a couple of days and then try two for a few days as I work my way back up to five miles." She placed a couple of kisses on his neck before continuing. "If something that I try doesn't feel right...I feel a twinge of pain, for instance, I should stop and try it again in a few days. If the pain persists after several attempts, I should call for an appointment." She placed a couple of kisses on his neck just below his ear.

Harm was under her spell, and trying to maintain his composure while listening was becoming almost impossible. How could she make a doctor's report sound so erotic?

Mac began to nip at his earlobe.

The nibbling on his ear stopped, and she spoke again in the same sultry way. "After I promised to use common sense, he said that I could resume all regular activities." She paused. "He said that I need to take it slow and easy and to make sure that it feels right before I get carried away."

Her lips crashed onto his. His left arm held her in close while his right hand skimmed along the smooth skin of her leg and breach the hem of her robe until it came to rest on her hip. He met no resistance in the form of a panty along the way. Did she have anything on under her robe?

One kiss turned into several, each one hotter than the one prior. A voice in his head saying 'this isn't slow' echoed in ears. He took in a deep breath and let it out to regain his senses.

"Don't you want dessert?" he asked.

A broad smile came over her face. "I thought I was having dessert, but if you made something..."

Harm grinned. "I didn't make it, but I did buy a chocolate something or another. However..." He trailed off because she was kissing his neck again and he found it impossible to continue.

She knew that she was getting to him and that he was right to slow the pace. "You said that there was a chocolate something and that you'd serve it to me in bed, right?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember saying that exactly, but I could make it happen that way." With that said, she got off his lap, and they stood.

Mac put out the candles and went to the bedroom to pull down the covers while he went to the kitchen to get the dessert.

Harm came up the steps into the bedroom with a plate in each hand and noticed her discarded robe on the floor by the bed. She was sitting back against a stack of pillows in a red satin teddy.

Mac eyed the dessert plates as he approached and took the plate that he offered.

The chocolate sponge cake with milk chocolate mousse with a few slices of strawberry and topped off with whipped cream and drizzled with dark chocolate looked heavenly.

Harm sat on the edge of the bed, watching as she took a fork full of the dessert to her mouth. The fork entered her mouth, and her lips came down over the cake. As she slowly pulled the fork out of her mouth, her lips passing over the tines, he envied that fork. He watched Mac, his dessert less interesting than hers even if it was the same thing, as she gathered another bite onto the fork and raised it to her lips.

Her last bite gone, she reached for his plate. "You didn't want yours?" she asked before turning to put the plates on the bedside table and, in doing so, revealing a hint of chocolate left at the corner of her mouth.

Harm leaned in to place a kiss there, his tongue easing out over the spot. He pulled back to inspect it. "You had a bit of chocolate there."

Their eyes met and then their lips in a searing kiss. She tugged at the bottom of his shirt until she'd freed him of it. He pulled her into another heated kiss, which left them breathless. She pulled back and began to work on freeing him of his jeans, but he pushed away her hands.

Her questioning look at his action was answered when he spoke. "Remember, slow and easy, doctor's orders."

She lowered her head a little like one would do in shame. "The easy I'm fine with...it's the slow part that I'm having trouble with."

She'd verbalized his thoughts exactly, and he moved to capture her lips once more.

After the last kiss, his jeans were uncomfortable, and he stood to rid himself of them before he came to lie at her side.

Once he was back in bed, she moved over to him, and his arms immediately engulfed her. As their lips met, his one hand pressed firmly against her back, keeping her close, while the other hand roamed down her back. As his hand slid off the edge of her teddy, it made contact with her six. His hand began to knead the firm flesh under his palm. His need to feel her skin directly against his soon had him pulling back into a position that allowed him to grasp the bottom of her teddy, and he pulled it easily over her head.

Mac hadn't wanted the inconvenience of underwear so she hadn't worn any, and now free of the teddy, she was naked.

His lips felt cool against the heat of her breasts. When his tongue teased her nipple, it set off an explosion of need in her that racked her body and increased the sensitivity of every inch of her.

Harm had never been so sure of what he wanted and, after her recent visit to London, he was sure that she wanted him. Tonight, he was as apprehensive to enter her as he had been in the past, but not for the same reasons. The first time, it had been the awkwardness of the first time, uncertainty of what the other would enjoy and whether he could satisfy her. In London, he'd feared that it was going to be a farewell. Tonight, it was concern that, in the heat of their passion, he might hurt her.

Their breathing was becoming heavy, and both knew that the time for a choice in position was at hand. She pulled away and began to kiss down his chest, along his ribcage and down his belly, stopping when she reached the elastic of his boxers. Mac hooked her index fingers in the waistband and began to pull them down his long legs. He was accommodating and scooted up in the bed, resting his back against the pillows and making her task easier. His underwear down to his knees, she moved to his side and slipped them the rest of the way off before moving back up to cover his lips with hers.

They lay face to face, kissing, with hands roaming in something reminiscent of two virginal teenagers, exploring the opposite sex for the first time.

Harm was worried about the potential of her having pain from their encounter. He thought that he'd know if she were in pain, but perhaps not if she were merely uncomfortable. He'd rather wait than hurt her.

As the moment approached to unite their bodies, the answer flashed in his mind: She could regulate the encounter to her comfort level if she were on top. Their lips came together and, as they kissed, he rolled her on top of him.

Surprised but pleased at his request, she looked down at him, silently communicating the question, 'Are you sure?' His hands on her hips, he guided her down just a fraction until she was straddling him in a way that left no doubt that he wanted her.

She wanted him and he wanted her. It all seemed so simple in a moment like this.

Per his request, she lifted herself and then lowered herself onto him. The guttural moan that he released let her know that she'd captured her target. She'd lift up and slowly ease down his hardened shaft, occasionally stopping to rock back and forth before lifting herself again.

On a few occasions, at least one of his hands would move from her hip and manage to make its way up to caress a breast or slide behind her neck, pulling her to him as his upper body rose to meet her lips in a kiss. As their lips parted, he'd lower his head to kiss or suckle a breast before relaxing back against the pillows, and she'd begin to love him again.

Mac continued at her own pace, loving him until she collapsed against him, breathless and satisfied, as was he.

His hands rested on her back as she lay spent on top of him. They lay together like that until their breathing returned to normal.

His voice was a mixture of concern and teasing. "So, how did your first mile go?"

She looked up at him, grateful for his concern, but her response was playful. "I think I could go two."

His hands rubbed her back lovingly. "A mile a day for a few days, remember...no overdoing."

Her voice was a mix of playful and sexy. "How about one now and one in the morning?"

"That could work, providing you feel okay in the morning." He rolled her over onto her back, and his lips found hers. He administered a sweet and loving kiss before he reached for the covers and pulled them up over them.

Mac was on her back, and he was cuddled up to her side, an arm under her neck and an arm across her at an angle so that his hand rested on the opposite hip.

They were relaxed and sleep was near, but she had one last thing that she wanted to say. "Harm..."

In a sleepy voice, he responded, "Mmmm?"

"I love you."

In the dark, she couldn't see the corners of his mouth turning up, forming a smile even in his sleepy state. "And I love you."

No more words were exchanged as they allowed themselves to drift to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**PART THREE**

**SATURDAY, MAY 28, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Having slept well, Mac woke slowly. She could feel the warmth of him behind her. One of his arms was around her waist, and she was using the other one for a pillow.

The cloudy vision of sleepy eyes faded, and his hand with his Academy ring on it became clear. It wasn't a dream. He was really here.

She started to snuggle closer to him, if that were possible, but a morning need forced her to get up.

When she returned from the bathroom, he was on his side, the way she'd left him. She climbed into bed, facing him, and placed a soft, quick kiss on his lips.

As she pulled her lips away, he said, "Good morning." His eyes were still closed, but his arms wrapped around her.

"Good morning," she replied before her lips found his again in another loving kiss.

His eyes opened after their lips parted from the second kiss. "I should have gotten a MacKenzie alarm clock a long time ago. I like the wake up feature."

Her face took on a shy smile. "The wake up feature is on a one of a kind model."

"Makes me a lucky guy then, doesn't it?" He kissed her softly.

She blushed and changed the subject. "You need to get up because you have a date with your daughter."

"You say that like you aren't coming with me."

"With her accident, your move and our engagement, she needs some time with _you_. I haven't seen Harriet since I got back from London. Bud said that he tried to describe my ring to her, but she wants to see it for herself. So, I made plans to go shopping with her today so that I can show it off...but I'll come by the hospital for dinner."

She pulled back, but he kept his arms around her. "Already taking care of your family," he said, gently placing a kiss on her lips. "I find that to be a turn on." He rose up on an elbow to place a kiss on her neck. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I could run a mile." She giggled.

Harm leaned in to cover her lips with his and eased her back onto the bed as they kissed, and one kiss led to more.

They'd entered a new phase of intimacy last night. Perhaps it had been the need to take things slow and easy as the doctor had ordered, or perhaps it was because both were now certain of the love and level of commitment that each had for the other.

It would be almost impossible for either of them to describe their first two encounters. Neither would say that it was sex because, emotionally, it was far from it, yet it was a lusty discovery of what had always been off limits but desired. Those first two encounters had been freeing and loving and certainly not unpleasant, but now they had more.

Their encounter in London had been about need. His had been the need to have even one more chance of holding on to what he wanted most. Hers had been the need to hold on to what she truly wanted, but was afraid of losing.

Last night's tender exchange and the present one were more loving, and they were taking the time to discover how the other would react to being touched here or kissed there. They were more at ease with each other and more confidant in their relationship.

She lay content in his arms after their lovemaking until that blasted internal clock of hers took note of the time.

"You'd better get up and get moving or you're going to be late," Mac cautioned him.

"You're right, but I want you to know that I could lie here with you all day."

She smiled. After a quick kiss to her lips, he got up to shower, and Mac got up to make coffee.

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER **

Mattie's room door was open when Harm arrived, and she was picking at her breakfast.

After some prodding, Mattie confessed to being upset. Among her concerns were the delay in getting a hearing date about his guardianship and still being stuck in the hospital.

Harm spent time addressing Mattie's frustration and worries, and Mattie seemed to be feeling better by mid-morning.

Not long after their discussion had come to a close, a nurse came in to take Mattie to physical therapy. The nurse helped Mattie stand and, with the aid of a walker, Mattie made her way down the hall, the nurse and Harm following close behind.

Harm had been getting excellent reports about Mattie's progress, but it was good to see it for himself.

At the end of the session, Mattie's therapist talked to Harm and informed him that Mattie was on a pace to be ready to leave the hospital in four to six weeks.

Once Mattie was back in her room from therapy, her lunch was delivered. Harm wasn't hungry, so he just watched her eat.

As she began to eat her lunch, Mattie asked, "Where's Mac?"

"Since you get to see a lot more of her these days than you do me, she went shopping with a friend, but she'll be by later to have dinner with us."

"Is she bringing something?" Mattie looked hopeful. "She usually brings in something on Saturdays."

"Are you saying that she bribes you with food to behave yourself while you're in here?"

Mattie poked at her lunch with her fork. "Have you actually tasted any of this so called food that they serve?" she asked with a smile before adding, "Besides, I wouldn't call it a bribe. It's more like a reward for getting through another week."

They both laughed.

After lunch, their conversation turned to a discussion about some of the places that she'd read about in the book that he'd brought yesterday. She also asked about his office and job. It was amazing how much they could find to talk about even though they emailed each other at least once a day and talked on the phone once a week.

Mattie's day had been much fuller than she was used to, and a wave of exhaustion swept through her. She fell asleep in the late afternoon.

Harm had promised that he'd spend the day, so he wasn't going to leave the hospital, but he did venture down to the cafeteria while she slept.

In the cafeteria, he looked over the choices. The food available here might be healthy, but it didn't look appetizing. He didn't want to risk what it might taste like, so he opted for an apple and a bottle of water.

Harm sat down and took a bite of his apple. Now he hoped that Mac was bringing something for dinner, too.

He sat in the cafeteria and finished the apple and water before returning to Mattie's room.

Mattie was still sleeping when he returned, so he sat in the chair at her bedside and picked up the book on England. Harm made it through five pages before Mattie started to stir.

Once she was awake, Mattie apologized for falling asleep, but Harm quickly dismissed the need for her apology.

After her nap, Mattie realized that she'd sent him an email about school that he probably hadn't read because he'd been traveling to DC, and that gave them a new topic of conversation.

Mattie informed him that she'd be taking tests on Tuesday through Thursday of the coming week and would get the results the week after that. If she passed all the tests, she'd be caught up and able to advance with her class.

Harm realized as she spoke that he hadn't checked into schools for her in London, and he'd better do that upon his return.

The talk of school brought up the talk of boys, one boy in particular, Kevin.

Mattie told Harm that Kevin was keeping in touch by email and had even sent a couple of cards to the hospital.

It was approaching the dinner hour, and Mac was at the nurses' station to see if the paperwork for Mattie's off site visits was ready. After a check of her ID, Mac slipped the manila envelope that she'd been handed into her shopping bag before picking up the pizza box off the counter and heading to Mattie's room.

Harm was starting to get hungry. As if his thoughts had cued her, Mac appeared in the doorway.

"Is anyone hungry?" Mac asked as she entered the room with her purse and a shopping bag in one hand, and the pizza box in the other.

Mattie watched Harm stand and take the pizza box before kissing Mac on the cheek in greeting. Mac put down her purse and shopping bag while Harm placed the pizza box on the table near Mattie's bed.

Mac reached for Harm's hand. "I'm going to show him which machine has the coldest soda," Mac said to Mattie before leading Harm out of the room by his hand.

Mac led him out of the room, down the corridor and, after making two left turns, they entered a room with several tables and two vending machines in it.

Mac looked at Harm's puzzled expression and stated, "This lounge has the coldest soda and the freshest snacks. I don't know why it's that way. It just is."

Harm's expression changed from one of questioning to one of curiosity. "Have you done a recon of the entire hospital or just this floor?"

Mac was dropping coins into the vending machine, but she looked over her shoulder to address him, her voice full of pride. "Of course the entire hospital ... what kind of Marine would I be if I did recon of only one floor?"

Mac made her soda selection before dropping in another set of coins and tapping a second button. Inserting a few more coins, she told him to pick his drink.

Mac came through Mattie's door first with two cans of soda in hand, and Harm came in on her heels. Mac opened one of the sodas that she'd been carrying and offered it to Mattie.

While taking the soda from Mac, Mattie got a glimpse of Mac's ring, which caused her to ask. "Have you two set a date yet?"

"We talked about getting married in London, but since we don't know when I'm going to get there, it isn't practical to set a date," Mac answered before leaning in towards Mattie and lowering her voice. "I did see a dress that I liked today, though."

Mattie replied at the same low volume. "Did you get it?"

"No, I wanted to think about it. Buying a dress here and getting it to London seems like too much trouble," Mac responded.

They were acting as if Harm couldn't hear them, even though they were aware that he could, so he listened while enjoying a slice of pizza.

Mattie had eaten her first bite of pizza before asking another question. "Does the wedding have to be in London?"

"No, it doesn't have to be. I just thought that it sounded romantic," Mac replied.

Mattie nodded in understanding as she chewed a second bite. "Is it going to be a big wedding or a small one?"

"We haven't talked about that," Mac answered while looking at Harm. Her answer hadn't been completely truthful because she had asked Harm which he preferred, and he'd said whatever she wanted, just no goats.

"You two haven't talked about much, have you?" Mattie asked.

"I guess not." Mac motioned with her head towards Harm. "Maybe if he'd asked a little sooner than twelve hours before he left the country, we might have had time to discuss a few things."

Harm's face took on an outraged expression, but he didn't say a word.

Mac, concerned at first, but seeing Harm's reaction fade quickly from his face, she knew that he was being melodramatic, so she continued, "Mattie, I have an idea. If I bring some bridal magazines to you, will you write down some ideas to get us started?"

Mattie beamed. "Sure, I can do that." She paused. "Harm, you do know that Mac's name is Sarah, right?"

"Yeah, I know that." The 'duh,' of course I did sound in his voice was obvious to both of them.

"You aren't going to call her Mac during the ceremony, are you?" Mattie asked.

"From the sound of it, my guess is that the correct answer is no," Harm said with a half grin.

The wedding questions subsided as the pizza disappeared.

After dinner, Mac pulled the manila envelope out of the shopping bag and placed it next to her purse. The rustle of the paper shopping bag drew Mattie's attention as Mac pulled a jogging suit out of the bag. "I bought this for you."

Mattie looked at Harm.

"Hey, don't look at me. It must be yours. The legs are too short for it to be mine," Harm said to Mattie.

Mac spoke, "You can't leave the hospital without something new to wear, and Harriet and I thought that this would be comfortable, but more stylish than the little frock that Harm bought for me to wear to leave the hospital in London."

Mattie liked the color of the jogging outfit, and who doesn't like to get presents, but she thought that it was a little early to be getting her something to wear outside of the hospital.

Neither Harm nor Mac let Mattie know that she'd be getting a chance to wear the outfit tomorrow. They wanted it to be a surprise.

When Mattie started to show signs of fatigue, it was time for Harm and Mac to say their good nights.

Before they left the hospital, Mac and Harm verified with the nursing staff that Mac was scheduled to take Mattie out of the hospital tomorrow, and a time was agreed upon that would allow the three of them to attend the Roberts' cookout together.

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Since Harm and Mac had driven to the hospital at different times, they traveled home in separate cars and didn't see each other until they arrived at the apartment.

Once at the apartment, they spent a few minutes talking about Mac's shopping trip.

Mac informed him that her only purchase had been the outfit for Mattie. However, Harriet had gone on a shopping spree and had nearly filled her minivan, according to Mac.

Harm and Mac were comfortably seated on the couch, and the conversation hit a momentarily lull.

Harm reached for her left hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. He used his thumb to wiggle her engagement ring. "You aren't going to make me wait nine years before we actually get married, are you?"

"It would serve you right for making me wait so long for you to ask," Mac teased.

Harm kissed her cheek and then moved to kiss her neck. "Is there any way that we could negotiate a shorter sentence, counselor?" he whispered into her ear.

The kisses that he was administering to her neck were feather light and gave her goose bumps. "We could negotiate, but I must warn you...negotiations could take all night," she warned in a purr.

"Whatever it takes," he said before claiming her lips in a hot, passionate kiss.

When their kiss came to a natural close, Harm stood and pulled her to her feet before scooping her up and taking her to bed.

With the rest of the world blocked out, they made love.

After lovemaking, they lay in bed, kissing and cuddling until Mac began to yawn.

"I'd better let you sleep. Tomorrow will be another long day," Harm said with a yawn of his own.

They fell asleep wrapped up in each other.


	25. Chapter 25

**PART FOUR**

**SUNDAY, MAY 29, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm woke to the aromas of coffee and cinnamon. He got out of bed and slipped on some sweatpants. He made his way to the kitchen where he found Mac making French toast. Mac had already eaten, so after fixing him a plate and pouring him a cup of coffee, she excused herself.

Harm had enjoyed his first few bites when he heard the shower come on. He was tempted to join her. However, her current state of recovery made him decide against it. For the time being, it was best to keep intimate encounters more loving and less hurried than sex in the shower, but the thought of sex in the shower with her put a smile on his face.

With his plate empty, he placed it in the sink and topped off his coffee before grabbing the newspaper and moving to the bedroom.

Harm was leaning back on some pillows stacked against the headboard, glancing at the headlines until movement caught his attention. A towel-clad Mac stood poised at the end of the shower's glass block wall.

Realizing that his eyes were on her, her hand fell away from the wall and she walked towards him. "Mac," he managed to utter. "I've had this dream before," he gasped.

She sat on the edge of the bed. "Then tell me what happens next, Harm."

Harm began to raise his back off the pillows while pushing the newspaper to the floor.

Mac leaned in to meet his lips.

A moment before their lips touched, in a husky voice he said, "We do more of what we did last night."

Their lips finally met as he reached up to tug on the towel around her.

Their love for each other would overflow as their passion exploded in a union that would satisfy their needs and desires.

In a state of bliss from lovemaking, it was hard to leave the loving bed that they shared, but today was a special day, and they couldn't stay in bed to enjoy the afterglow.

While Harm showered and dressed, Mac dressed and began to clean up the kitchen.

As Mac moved about the kitchen, she heard the sounds of water running. She had thoughts of joining him to make her fantasy with him in the shower into a fond memory, but something else was of greater importance today. Their first outing as a family needed to come before making her fantasies into reality.

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER **

Harm and Mac arrived holding hands and smiling and, after the usual greetings were exchanged, Harm told Mattie that she needed to get ready to go.

Mattie asked curiously, "Go where?"

"We're all going to the Roberts' home for a cookout," Harm replied.

Mac added, "You see why you needed a new outfit."

"Mac, will you help me get ready?" Mattie was excited. She was getting out of the hospital. Mattie's hands made a shooing motion at Harm. "I need to get dressed."

It took no time at all for Mac and Mattie to reach an agreement on the order that things should happen to get Mattie dressed.

Once the plan was in motion, Mattie became very quiet, in part because she needed to concentrate on every movement that she needed to make to get dressed.

Mattie had the jacket half on, and Mac was adjusting the way that she was holding the jacket to allow Mattie to slip in her other arm.

Mattie had been so excited, and now she was too quiet.

Harm was standing in the corridor just outside the door and would hear the following conversation between Mac and Mattie.

"Mattie, is something wrong?" Mac asked.

"I'm not sure," Mattie replied.

"If something's bothering you, please tell me or Harm. He'll be back in a few minutes. I'm sure that one of us can help."

"Well, that's the thing. You and Harm are here together...like a couple. It seems strange that we're all going somewhere together. It's kind of cool, but strange. I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"I think I understand." Mac paused. "I've been in love with him for years. Did you know that?"

Her jacket was on, and Mattie was concentrating on zipping it up and answered with a simple "no."

Mac went on, giving Mattie the time that she needed to zip it herself or ask for help. "Sometimes I think that I'm dreaming all this." Mac waved the hand with her engagement ring on it in Mattie's direction. "When I realize that I'm not dreaming, it's strange, but wonderful at the same time."

The nurse, who'd checked Mattie's vital signs when Harm and Mac had first arrived, now passed by Harm and entered the room to tell Mac that Mattie could be released to leave whenever she was ready. When the nurse came out, she told Harm that the ladies were ready to go.

When Harm entered the room, Mac and Mattie were standing side by side. Mattie was holding onto Mac, and Mac's arm was around her, keeping her steady.

Mattie's hair was pulled back and held there with some sort of hair ornament, and she was dressed in the outfit that Mac had bought her.

"Mattie, you look great," Harm complimented, which had Mattie smiling from ear to ear.

The nurse returned and went over the rules with all of them before letting Mac sign Mattie out in the logbook.

Since Mattie was now using a walker to get around, it wasn't difficult to get her downstairs in the elevator and into the rental car.

The walker was also as simple to fold up as a stroller, so it wasn't long before they had it folded and locked away in the trunk so they could be on their way.

**ROBERT'S RESIDENCE **

Harm parked Mac's rental car in front of the Roberts' home and got out quickly to help Mattie out of the car.

With Mattie outside the car, the sight of the steps leading to the front door made Harm and Mac realize how unprepared they might be for today's outing.

After Mattie tested the first step to see if the step was deep enough to accommodate her walker, which it was, Mattie informed Harm and Mac that she could climb the stairs. However, Mac was less certain and stood directly behind her on the step below, ready to assist Mattie in any way while Harm moved the car from directly in front of the house.

When Harm caught up to Mattie and Mac a few moments later, it was hard for him to watch Mattie struggle up the steps.

One at a time and slowly, Mattie made it to the top of the stairs with no assistance. She was doing better, much better in fact since he'd left a couple of months ago.

Before ringing the doorbell, Harm and Mac made sure that Mattie had a chance to catch her breath.

Bud answered the door and greeted them in his usual jovial manner; genuinely delighted that they were able to attend.

They may not have considered the steps to the Roberts' home, but they had taken into account that Mattie might feel uneasy at having to use a walker and the fact that their friends and coworkers were virtually strangers to her. This morning, on the ride to the hospital, they'd decided that one of them would stay close to Mattie while the other one mingled, and then they'd switch off.

Seeing Varese talking to two of the new lieutenants at JAG headquarters, Lieutenants Bunting and Douglas, Mac moved towards the trio to say hello, making her the first one of them to mingle.

As Mac approached, she heard Lt. Douglas say to the other ladies present. "Yes, I saw the colonel come in with him. I must say that I understand now why she's leaving the Corps. That man is gorgeous."

Mac sighed. He was, and so much more - he was _hers_. She hoped that she wouldn't have to point that out to the lieutenant at some point. Mac said her hellos, and soon Sturgis joined the four ladies.

The lieutenants left the group, and Mac, Varese and Sturgis spoke for a few minutes before Mac excused herself to get drinks for Mattie and Harm.

Mac found her family in the living room, and they were happy to see that Mac had brought them some refreshments.

Since Mac was now with Mattie to keep her company, Harm took his turn at mingling.

When Harm returned to the living room some minutes later, he found Bud with Mac and Mattie, and Harm sat down and joined in the casual conversation. However, when Bud called him sir for the third time, Harm had to say something.

"Bud, I know that old habits are hard to break, but we aren't in the same command any more, and I'm not in uniform. I'm here with my family in your home. Call me Harm."

Harm had been focusing on Bud as he spoke, so he didn't notice the smile that the word 'family' put on Mattie's face.

"Yes, sir -…Harm."

"Keep practicing, Bud," Harm said with a smile.

"Yes..." He paused to think. "...Harm."

Harriet came into the room, wanting Bud's assistance with something, so Bud was soon off to help Harriet.

Mac and Harm continued to take turns moving about the crowd and socializing so that Mattie wouldn't be left alone. Then Harriet started to let everyone know that it was time to head outside where lunch would be served.

Several people had made it to the backyard before them, but no one had taken up space at the patio table, so Harm, Mac and Mattie took up residence at the outdoor table, and Jennifer Coates joined them, which pleased Mattie because she now had someone else around with whom she felt comfortable, and she began to relax a little.

No longer worried that lunch wouldn't be served on time, Harriet began to mingle. One of her stops was to talk to Mac and to congratulate Harm on the excellent job that he'd done in picking out Mac's engagement ring, saying that it was gorgeous.

When lunch ended, it was time for Harm and Mac to say their goodbyes so that they could get Mattie back to the hospital on time.

When they approached Harriet to say their goodbyes, she asked them to wait a moment and disappeared. She appeared a couple of minutes later with a framed picture of them taken at McMurphy's the night that they'd announced their engagement. Harriet said that she'd have given the picture to them sooner, but she couldn't figure out how to download it from her cell phone, and she'd finally gotten Bud to do it for her.

Mattie hadn't been out long, but it was more excitement and activity than she'd had in months and she was exhausted.

Once they got Mattie back to the hospital and settled into her room, Mac told her that she'd be coming to see her in the morning, so they could watch the Memorial ceremony on TV and see if they could spot Harm. After Harm reminded Mattie that he'd be by as soon as he could get away from the luncheon, it was time for Harm and Mac to say good night in order to let Mattie rest after her outing.

Mac used the ride back to their apartment to wear down Harm's defenses until he consented to watch the movie of her choice when they got home.

At home, they sat curled up on the couch, watching the movie and eating micro-waved popcorn.

After the movie, they headed to the bedroom where they made love before falling asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**PART FIVE**

**MONDAY, MAY 30, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm may have only been here for four nights, but it didn't take them more than the first night to get used to sharing a bed again, and the comfort of being close and the relaxed feeling after lovemaking had had them both sleeping so soundly the last couple of nights that, this morning, neither of them twitched a muscle until the alarm clock buzzed.

The disadvantage of sleeping until the alarm clock woke them was that Harm had no time for anything other than to get ready for the Memorial Day ceremony.

As Harm dressed, he thought about how easy it would be for him to be resentful of being used in the Secretary of the Navy's political show. However, Harm couldn't muster any ill will because, though if he hadn't agreed to the SecNav's request for him to appear, he could've ordered him to be present, Harm had readily agreed the moment the SecNav had told him that he'd have to be in DC. So, Harm felt that he was just as guilty of using the SecNav for a trip that would allow him to see his family as the SecNav was guilty of using him.

Showered, shaved and in his dress whites, Harm gave Mac a kiss before leaving the apartment.

At the ceremony, Harm sat in his place, sure that, with the flag flying high and the patriotic songs playing in the background, all the pomp and circumstance was playing well on television.

The ceremony came to an end at 1115.

Harm was one of a handful of officers scheduled to join the SecNav, some politicians and the press for lunch.

Harm's handshaking and smiling would finally come to an end at 1345.

After leaving the luncheon, Harm stopped by the apartment to change before heading to the hospital because he wanted to be comfortable since he intended to stay as late as he could get away with tonight, his last visit with Mattie this trip.

**WESTOVER REHABILITATION CENTER **

Once the trio was together at the hospital, the ladies teased Harm about being a TV star before wanting a blow-by-blow account of the luncheon that wasn't televised, including all the guests and the menu.

Mattie was putting on a happy front, but she wasn't happy because Harm's visit tonight would be the last time that she'd see him...until the next time, if there was a next time, and if there was, who knew how long it might be until that happened?

How they managed to fill the rest of the afternoon with talk, primarily about his day among the DC elite, was beyond Harm.

When Mattie's evening meal arrived, Mac and Harm left for the cafeteria to get dinner for themselves. They returned a few minutes later with Styrofoam containers and ate dinner in Mattie's room to maximize the time that they could spend with her.

After dinner and a little more visiting, Harm didn't want to leave Mattie, but he could see that she was tired and knew that it was time to say good night.

Mac said good night and left Harm in the room with Mattie so that they could say their good nights and goodbyes in private.

After giving Mattie a pep talk about hanging in there with her therapy and exercising a little patience when it came to her custody hearing, Harm gave her a hug, and they exchanged their goodbyes before Harm sat next to her bed until Mattie drifted off to sleep.

Once Mattie had fallen asleep, Harm placed a fatherly kiss on her forehead and whispered that he loved her before he left her room.

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Arriving at the apartment, Harm knew that he needed to pack, but he'd much rather hold Mac. He soon found out that she was reading his mind again.

"I think you should pack now. You'll be leaving early, and I don't want you to have to get out of bed any earlier than absolutely necessary."

Harm agreed that he should get his packing out of the way, and that would be the last word that either of them would say about his departure for the rest of the night.

While Harm was in the bedroom, packing and preparing his uniform for tomorrow, Mac patrolled the kitchen and living room, looking for any stray items that Harm might leave behind if she didn't take them to him to be packed.

A part of Mac wanted to watch him pack and even to help, but another part of her just couldn't watch his things go into a travel bag.

After fifteen minutes of him being in another room, Mac walked up to the bedroom.

Mac started to turn down the bed when the sight of his shaving kit on the bedside table for use in the morning caught her eye.

Harm was hanging up the uniform that he'd wear tomorrow, so he was facing the closet with his back to Mac. He didn't see her remove her clothes, but he did turn around in time to see her nude body slipping into bed.

He was glad that he'd just finished the last thing that he had to do before he could go to bed, which was to prepare his uniform by applying the ribbon bars.

Harm moved to what would be called his side of the bed now that he was sharing it regularly with someone else and stripped down to nothing before he climbed into bed.

Once under the covers next to Mac, he put his arm around her and pulled her to him.

It felt so natural to be close to her.

Mac was using her fingertips to draw small circles on his chest.

Except for having to leave Mattie and Mac again, his life was better than ever before.

Mac's touch warmed his heart, but it also served as a cold reminder that he'd be sleeping alone tomorrow night.

Mac looked up at him as he looked down at her, their eyes meeting and then their lips.

They shared a kiss and then two.

They wouldn't speak of his flight tomorrow, but keeping his departure in the back of their minds kept the pace slow, and the lovemaking was savored and enjoyed by both of them like no other night before.


	27. Chapter 27

**PART SIX **

**TUESDAY, MAY 31, 2005**

Mac woke at 0407 and watched Harm sleep for almost ten full minutes before she _had_ to touch him. Her fingertips moved over the lines in his forehead.

Harm wasn't sleeping as soundly as he had been when he'd first arrived, so her soft touch woke him. His hand came up to her face and his fingers wove into her hair as his hand slid behind her head to pull her into a passionate kiss.

He ended the kiss that he'd started, but Mac was hungry for more, and her lips found his this time.

They kissed and kissed again. With each kiss, their desire for one another grew.

As the soft glow of morning light began to fill the room, he covered her body with his and loved her until they were mutually fulfilled.

Lying tangled up in each other after lovemaking, Mac knew that it was going to be hard to let him go, but easier this time than the last.

The last time that Harm had left DC, she'd known that he'd meant everything that he'd said, but she'd been apprehensive, unsure if she'd 'caught up' with him and was ready for what he was suggesting. This time, there was no apprehension. She was ready to have the life that he was offering her.

Harm gave Mac a squeeze as the thought that this would be the last time that he'd hold her for a while passed through his mind. Because Mac had heard nothing on her request to separate from the Corps, they had no idea when she'd be able to join him in London.

They lay there until the alarm went off, letting them know that they could put off getting up no longer.

Unsure if there were any words to say that would make his departure easier for the other, when they spoke, they simply didn't mention his flight.

"I'll start the coffee and then hit the shower," Harm suggested.

"No, I'll start the coffee while you shower," Mac countered.

Harm nodded in acceptance and got out of bed. Grabbing his shaving kit, he headed for the shower.

With Harm no longer in bed with her, there was no reason for Mac to be there, so she got up, slipped on a robe and went to start the coffee. She also put a couple of muffins and some fruit on a plate and set it on the counter.

When Mac heard the water turn off, she prepared two cups of coffee and headed into the bedroom.

Harm had moved his travel bag to the end of the bed and was standing over it with a towel wrapped around his waist, slipping his shaving kit inside when Mac came into the room.

When she got close enough, she offered him one of the cups of coffee, which he accepted and thanked her for.

Mac took a sip of her coffee before speaking.

"I set out a light breakfast on the counter. I'll shower and be ready in a few minutes," she said before taking another sip of her hot coffee.

Mac put her cup down on the table on his side of the bed and disappeared into the shower.

Harm dressed and moved his packed bag to a place closer to the front door before investigating the breakfast that she'd layed out.

It wasn't until he went to top of his coffee that he realized that he was drinking from one of the cups that he'd purchased to have breakfast with her the morning that he'd left the last time and that the breakfast was the same. He wondered if it was on purpose or merely a coincidence.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, Mac emerged from the bedroom, dressed and ready for work.

Mac crossed the room until she'd reached the counter and, without saying a word, she picked up a muffin and began to nibble on it.

Both of them were quiet, neither wanting to talk about his impending departure, but neither able to think of anything else...and then it was time.

If the car sent to take him to Andrews wasn't downstairs, it would be arriving at any moment, and she had a meeting with a witness in the Williams' case this morning.

Harm stood, looking as sharp as ever in his uniform, not wanting to acknowledge that it was time for him to leave.

Mac stood facing him, looking just as sharp as he in her uniform, knowing that it was time to say goodbye. She could feel the burn of tears forming in her eyes.

They both held their arms open and met each other in an embrace.

Mac wanted to bury her face in his chest, but afraid that she'd stain his white uniform with her makeup, she was able to refrain.

Their lips came together, and the kiss that they shared could've set a forest on fire from its intensity.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered in her ear when their lips parted.

"And I'm going to miss you," she whispered back, squeezing him a little tighter.

They held on a little tighter to each other as they whispered "I love you" in the other's ear, and then their grip on each other eased and, with one last sweet kiss, they parted.

A moment later, he was out the door. Mac went to the window and watched as he got into the car, not moving until the car drove out of view.

***********

During his flight, Harm thought about how his visit may have come about for 'business' reasons, but it had certainly accomplished a lot in his personal life.

His visit had allowed him to see Mattie and assure her that he still wanted custody of her, and he'd also been able to assure Mac that they were a couple and that the miles that currently separated them weren't going to keep them apart.

***********

During Harm's visit, Mac had witnessed how Mattie's spirits had been lifted by his visit, and she'd also been able to see the joy in Harm's eyes that seeing Mattie had brought him.

In Mattie's eyes, she'd seen the strength that Harm's presence gave to Mattie and the love that Mattie had for him.

Mac's own heart felt whole for the first time in a very long time, knowing that, not only did she love Harm, but that she was also loved by him in return.

Her ring, a symbol of that love and commitment, would serve as a reminder that this separation was only geographical in nature.

***********

For Mattie, Harm's visit had given her a chance to see how she'd fit into Harm and Mac's lives.

During Harm's visit, Mattie also realized the biggest reason why she'd valued the time with Mac more these last few weeks. She'd lost her mother and father, albeit in different ways, and just the thought that she could've lost Mac, too, hurt more than she could ever have imagined possible.

Harm and Mac were to be her family – they had to be. She hoped more than ever before that the court would award Harm custody of her and make them a family.

********* **

Though they'd all received something from the visit, all three of them wanted more, more time to make memories as a couple and as a family. With the steps taken over this weekend, it would be hard for anyone not to see that these three were meant to be a family. When it would happen and how would be decided by fate, but this had turned out to be a memorable Memorial weekend.

***********

Once Harm had reached his London apartment, he'd called Mac. He was glad that he'd called her first because she'd received a message from Bud. The family court had set a hearing date. The best part was that, since Mac wouldn't be going to see Mattie for a little while yet, Harm would get to be the one to tell Mattie that the date for her custody hearing had been set for June 27, 2005.

After finishing his conversation with Mac, Harm called Mattie.

It was hard for him not to just blurt out the news, but he managed. He told Mattie that he'd arrived safely before he told her that he had some news for her. When he told Mattie that a date had been set for her hearing, the line went silent for a couple of moments before her questions began. The first question was when.

They talked a little longer than he'd planned, but it was good to hear the happiness in her voice.

Harm returned to work the following morning and began to make plans for his trip back to Washington in a few weeks for the hearing.

Over the next couple of days, the email routine was resumed and, on Saturday, he called to talk to 'his girls.' Mattie was especially talkative because Mac was taking her out again tomorrow. They were going to a movie.

**MONDAY, JUNE 6, 2005**

After a meeting with General Cresswell, a noticeably upset Colonel MacKenzie walked briskly to her office, not taking the time to say anything to anyone. Mac didn't even hear PO Coates ask if she was all right as she walked past her desk with a lost look in her eye.

Mac closed the door to her office behind her and made sure that the blinds were closed - if she cried, she didn't want anyone to see.

This news totally ruined their plans! What were they going to do?

She needed to talk to Harm. He had to know what the general had just told her.

********FLASBACK TO MOMENTS AGO********

"Colonel, I'm just going to give you the news straight up. The higher ups have decided that you're needed in the Corps. They've denied your request for separation and terminal leave."

The look on Mac's face was hard to read. It was a mixture of so many emotions. Among her emotions: surprise that it had been denied, happy that the Corps valued her service, and worry about what this news would do to her relationship with Harm.

In a shaky voice she mumbled, "Denied, sir?"

"Yes, Colonel, denied. In addition, they've resolved the problems with Joint Legal Services Southwest. You're to take command of JLS in October. In the meantime, you'll be joining the judiciary per Admiral Morris' request. You'll transfer your current case load over to Vukovic."

"Sir, if I may suggest, I think that the case you gave me last week, Ensign Williams, should be handled by Commander Roberts."

"Colonel, you don't think that the lieutenant can handle that case?"

"The ensign's defense rests heavily on a witness who's been reluctant to come forward. The witness will need to be handled with a more sensitive approach to get her to testify, sir, and I don't feel that the lieutenant has mastered that skill yet, sir."

"I see, Colonel. I'll talk to Admiral Morris. If he has no objections, you'll be allowed to help Commander Roberts keep the witness on board." Mac was relieved. "You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir." She stood and left his office with her Marine bravado keeping her together on the outside.

********END FLASHBACK********

When her eyes focused again in the present, she was staring at her computer monitor.

It was hard to type the words, but she managed. She read over the email several times. She wanted to call, to hear his voice, but she didn't think that she'd be able to get the news out without crying.

However, she managed to muddle through the rest of the day.

Once she was home, she was glad that it was Monday, a day that she didn't go to see Mattie. If it she'd had to visit her tonight, she would have been forced to put on a 'happy face' so as not to upset her. As it was, she'd have tonight to digest this new twist in her life by herself.

She'd hoped to be joining Harm soon, but now…what was going to happen now?


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER FOUR - CUSTODY **

**PART ONE **

**TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2005**

**London, England **

**Harm's Office **

Harm stared at the screen, reading Mac's email from yesterday again.

Harm,

I've just come from General Cresswell's office. I have an answer to my request for separation and terminal leave. I was going to call you, but I'm not sure that I know what to say. I mean, the news changes everything. My request was denied. I need time to let it sink in, as I'm sure you will before we can talk about it. I'll be staying here as a judge temporarily, but my new permanent duty station will be Joint Legal Services, Southwest in San Diego when the office opens in October. I was caught so off guard by the denied part that I'm afraid that I didn't ask for or perhaps just didn't hear the actual dates for transfer. I need to get ready for a meeting with Lt. Vukovic because he'll be taking over all but one of my cases. We'll talk soon.

Love,

Mac

Harm had read this email at least twice yesterday and twice this morning. Denied...her request had been denied.

Still staring at his computer monitor, his mind took him back in time, and he recalled the phone call that he'd made to his mother the afternoon that Mac had left London.

*********FLASHBACK*********

Saturday, May 7, 2005

With a time difference of eight hours, Harm calculated the time in San Diego three times before he dialed the number. He must have calculated correctly because his mother answered in her usual pleasant way.

"Burnett residence."

"Hi, Mom."

"Harm, how do you like London, darling?" she asked in her aristocratic tone.

"It's fine, but it should be getting much better soon."

"So, you've heard news about Mattie. She'll be joining you soon. When Frank and I tour Europe this year, I want to see you and meet her."

"It isn't that, Mom. I haven't heard any news about Mattie's custody yet, but I hope that someone will be joining me soon. If everything goes well, you'll be able to meet Mattie at my wedding."

"That would be lovely, dear. Wait…your wedding? You mean that you spent ten years in Washington and, in about two months in London, you've met someone and you're engaged?

"Not exactly, I've known her for nine years, so I actually met her in DC. I proposed to her before I left there, but I didn't give her a ring. She was recently here on business. In fact, I just put her on a plane back to DC a few hours ago, but while she was here, I put a ring on her finger, so it's official. We're engaged."

"You said that you've known her for awhile. What's she like? Does she want children? Is she okay with you taking on Mattie?"

"Yes, she'd like to have children and she supports me in getting custody of Mattie. In fact, she helped me to obtain her guardianship originally. What's she like? Well, you once said that she was 'quite the girl'."

"I've met her?" Trish's memory banks scanned for the person whom she'd called 'quite the girl'.

"Mac!" she shrieked into the receiver. Then she paused. "What took you so long?"

"I needed to go through some things to make me realize that my career isn't as important to me as I'd thought and that Mac was more important to me than I'd realized."

His mom was happy and excited, and they talked for about another ten minutes before they finally said their goodbyes.

*********END FLASHBACK*********

Remembering that conversation with his mother, Harm believed that Mac was right, that the news that her request had been denied did impact their original plans, but he thought that 'everything' was an overstatement. The news didn't change the fact that he loved her and he wanted to marry her, so 'everything' cast way too wide a net to be correct.

Another thought that remembering that phone call gave him was, if his mother had been happy to hear that he and Mac were getting married, how excited would she be to have him and his family in San Diego?

A knock on his office door told him that it was time for him to hold his staff meeting.

After his morning staff meeting, he'd have to call General Cresswell. If Mac couldn't come to him, perhaps the answer was that he should go to her.

**JAG HQ **

**FALLS CHURCH, VA**

Mac arrived at the office and made her way to her computer, hoping to find a response from Harm to her latest news, but she had no new email.

A meeting with Bud this morning to pass on the Williams case would keep her busy and unable to check her email again for a while.

Once her meeting with Bud was over, she checked her email and still had no message from Harm. She was sure that Harm had had time to read hers by now. Why hadn't he replied?

She should call him, she thought, but what if he, for some reason, hadn't read her email or maybe he'd read it, but wasn't ready to talk to her about it yet?

As she was debating with herself about whether or not she should call him, her desk phone rang.

"Colonel MacKenzie," she said into the receiver, her voice cracking slightly.

No one else might have been able to tell, but he knew just from the way she answered the phone that she was upset. "How are you holding up, Marine?" Harm inquired.

"So you've read it."

"Yes, I've read it. I'm guessing that, since we haven't even talked about what kind of wedding we want, getting married while I'm there for the hearing isn't likely?" Harm asked hopefully.

"You still want to get married?" Mac asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

"Yes. Don't you?" Harm asked, astonished at her question.

"I do, but we agreed that one of us would have to give up our career," Mac reminded him.

"We did agree, but fate would seem to have a different plan. I spoke with the general. I agree that I probably won't have any better luck at getting out right now than you did. I'm not sure that I agree with the other reasons that he gave me, but the logic of the one about me having accepted my new orders makes sense."

"Did he give you the - you're valuable to the military, especially now. You've been places and done things that give you a unique insight into things that no one else can supply. Your insights and skills are what our military needs right now and that these skills and insights need to be taught to others by people who've lived it like yourself - speech?"

"That's the one," Harm replied.

Mac was holding back tears. "But I lost the coin toss...you shouldn't have to give up anything."

His voice became very soft and comforting. "The only things that I'm not willing to give up are you and Mattie."

Mac heard someone through the phone telling Harm that his next appointment had arrived. She knew that the time had come to end their call. She was holding in tears. "What are we going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know, yet. I would've hoped for duty stations on at least the same continent." Harm let out a sigh of disappointment that it wasn't going to be as easy as they'd originally planned, but spoke reassuringly when he continued. "We aren't the first couple in the military to have to deal with this situation. I'm sure there's a way. I have an appointment waiting and I'm sure that you need to get back to work, too, but we _will _work this out. I love you, and we _are_ going to be married."

He'd said it so matter of factly that Mac couldn't help but believe him. "And I love you," she replied before acknowledging that it was time to say goodbye.


	29. Chapter 29

**PART TWO – In the Weeks that Followed **

Mac received the starting dates for both her temporary and permanent assignments. She briefly reported to Admiral Morris on Friday, June 10th, and received her court calendar for the coming week. Her assignment being temporary with the judiciary, she was able to retain her office in JAG OPS while serving as a judge.

When Mac wasn't working or visiting Mattie, her mind dwelled on San Diego. San Diego meant that she and Harm were back to being 5,489 miles apart. How difficult would a marriage like that be on them? What about having a family? Yes, she considered Mattie to be family, but she wanted a baby.

If her chances of conceiving or carrying a child had been improved during the surgery to remove the bullets, it wasn't relevant if the father-to-be and she weren't together, and she knew that it was better to have no children at all than to have children with the wrong man, and she was positive that Harm was the right man for her as well as the right man to be the father of any children that she might have.

***********

Harm's office had become a well-oiled machine in the short time that he'd been in London and required minimal daily effort on his part to keep it that way. When it came to his flight status, he'd received a call to schedule his six-month quals for August.

In his personal life, a lot of things were out of his hands, leaving their status in one of two categories: unknown or not yet.

Harm was always positive when talking to Mattie, but the truth was that he didn't know if he'd be granted custody of her. He did want custody and he rectified his error of not checking into schools the week after he got back. So, as far as Mattie's custody was concerned, he believed that it was just a matter of time before she'd be in London with him.

Mac was another matter. He was sure that he had Mac. However, her new assignment had certainly put a damper on being together the way they'd planned. He'd waited too long to find the woman with whom he wanted to be forever to let his chance at happiness with her pass him by. After doing a little research, he found several options for them to consider, but none of them could be implemented immediately, so he planned to talk over the options with her when he returned to DC for the custody hearing.

***********

In regard to school, Mattie passed her finals and would be advancing to the next grade level.

When it came to recovery, the week of June 6th through 10th had been quite different for her. Her regular physical therapy schedule was suspended, and she spent her therapy time doing puzzles with blocks and writing the letters of the alphabet. Mattie could see no use for what they had her doing. It wasn't going to help her walk or get ready to live outside the hospital.

Unbeknown to Mattie, the court had asked for a report to assess her future needs and the capacity of her prospective guardian to supply those needs, or to ensure that a proper foster home was selected for Mattie if custody wasn't granted.

The tasks that she'd performed over those five days in place of therapy were tests to assess her progress. Some tasks were used to assess the amount of brain damage that had been done. Was it enough to cause any long term problems? Some tasks tested her dexterity, stamina, coordination and such. What, if any, would her long term physical limitations be?

Mac had supplied Mattie with bridal magazines as she'd said she would. One of the magazines had the article "Be Your Own Wedding Planner" in it, and with the guidelines in that article, Mattie set out to do more than just write down some ideas. She was going to help plan their wedding, if only on paper, so when Mac visited, Mattie always had new wedding questions for her. In her emails to Harm, Mattie asked at least three wedding questions a day.

On Tuesday, June 14th, joy was an appropriate word to describe Harm, Mac and Mattie's feelings. After reviewing Mattie's test results, the doctors felt that Mattie would be able to lead a perfectly normal life. During testing, it was found that small objects, like a marble or a pencil, were sometimes hard for Mattie to hold and manipulate, but with some changes in her physical therapy routine to address that issue, it was believed that it could be improved. If that alone wasn't good news, the doctors also upgraded Mattie from the walker to crutches.

Mattie was beaming as she and the therapist, who was instructing her on the proper us of her crutches, demonstrated her newfound independence to Mac by having Mattie walk down the corridor with her. Of course, once the showing off was done, Mac made a call to Harm so that Mattie could tell him the good news.

Alas, the joy would be short lived.

On Thursday, June 16th, Mac arrived for her regular evening visit and saw Dr. Browning with two other doctors standing outside Mattie's room.

"Ms. MacKenzie, we were waiting for you. We were about to go in to talk to Mattie. Please join us."

At first, Mattie's room was filled with laughter and happiness as Mattie's doctors informed those present that Mattie had surpassed everyone's expectations and that a release date of June 20th had been set. A physical therapist would be required to do exercises with Mattie twice a week, and Mattie was given exercises to do by herself on days when she didn't see the therapist. The doctors warned that Mattie would have some difficulty during the first few weeks after discharge. Her muscles would be sore since they'd be used more, and she'd become fatigued quickly, but all of those things were normal and would get better with time, but, as a safety measure, they wanted her to return for follow-up visits every two weeks at first. Everything was wonderful until Dr. Browning began to speak.

"I know that Mr. Rabb was Mattie's guardian in the past, but if on June 20th, Mattie still has no parent or guardian to take physical custody of her, she'll still be released from Westover and will have to be placed in a foster home until such time as Mr. Rabb is awarded custody again."

After the doctors left, Mac called Harm and informed him of both the wonderful and the painful news. True to form, Harm held in any negative feelings and spoke only positively about what the doctors had to say when he talked with both Mac and Mattie.

With only six days left until Mattie was to be transferred to a foster home, Mac altered her regular schedule and visited Mattie after work on Friday and then she also visited her on Saturday as usual.

**SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 2005**

When Mac arrived for her usual Saturday visit, she was greeted by Ms. LeMoine, who wanted to speak with her before she went in to see Mattie.

Mac wondered if Ms. LeMoine had good news, but feared that it was more bad news.

"Ms. LeMoine, what brings you here on a Saturday?" Mac asked.

"I was checking with the staff to see when I could pick up Mattie on Monday. I also spoke with Mattie for a little while. She isn't happy about her release. Mattie said that you should be here soon, so I waited to ask you if you knew why she feels that way."

"I think I can help with that. She's happy about being well enough to leave the hospital, but she's upset with not being able to go home."

"Mattie said as much. I guess I was more interested in knowing if the two of you had as good a relationship as Mattie and Dr. Browning have made it seem."

"I see. Why is that of interest to you now?" Mac asked.

"Because, once Mattie is moved to the foster home, you won't be able to visit her."

"I understand that it might be disruptive to the home if I visit often, but are you saying that I won't be able to visit even once or twice?" Mac asked, her voice tense.

"I'm afraid that's what I'm saying. Ms. MacKenzie, you're a lawyer. You know that, legally speaking, you have no rights when it comes to Mattie. You're not a relative and your name isn't on the petition for custody. From speaking with Dr. Browning, I'm aware that the three of you have already begun to form a family bond, and though that family unit is important to Mattie's case, since you're only engaged and not married to Mr. Rabb, it doesn't give you any legal authority. I'm sorry, Ms. MacKenzie. I wish that there was something that I could do, but my hands are tied."

What could Mac say to that? Legally, the woman was right. Ms. LeMoine told Mac that she'd be contacting Mr. Rabb to see if he'd be in town prior to the hearing so that arrangements could be made for him to visit Mattie.

Ms. LeMoine got a small smile from Mac when she added that Mac could accompany Mr. Rabb on his visit to Mattie.

After another apology, Ms. LeMoine left.

Mac couldn't imagine what the next week was going to be like - for Mattie or for her - without the visits. Harm wasn't here, and now they wouldn't have each other either.

**SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 2005**

Knowing that today was the last day that they'd see each other until Harm arrived for the hearing, today's visit was pleasant, but awkward. The reason was, in part, because neither one of them wanted to admit how much the absence of the other was going to hurt.

Harm had called yesterday as usual, but Mac called him today so that they could both talk to him again.

Mac and Mattie each tried to make the other feel better with phrases like "the week will just fly by" or "with the time you save in travel time alone, you can make your own wedding dress."

When it was time to say good night, they both knew it, and Mattie reached for a spiral notebook. The cover read 'Harm and Mac's Wedding Plan.'

Mac's eyes filled with tears as she turned the first few pages. When Mattie said that she hoped that it helped and wished that she could finish it, Mac couldn't hold the tears in any longer and, once hers started to flow freely, Mattie's did as well. Mac put the open notebook down and pulled Mattie into a hug.

After a few minutes, their tears eased and the hug ended.

Mac closed the notebook, picked it up and hugged it to her body, grasping it tightly as if she were carrying the Ten Commandments. Then the two of them said good night - neither was going to say goodbye.

Mac took a moment in the car to compose herself.

Mattie had given her the book as if tonight were goodbye. Mac had thought about leaving the book behind, but then she'd thought that doing that might hurt Mattie more.

Mac didn't know what the court was going to decide, but how could they keep the three of them apart? Why did they have to transfer Mattie on Monday? It was only a week until the custody hearing...why couldn't they wait seven days to move Mattie?

Once Mac was safely at the apartment, she had to call Harm. She had to ask if she'd done the right thing in accepting the notebook and she needed to hear him say that everything was going to be okay.

In the days that followed, Mac tried to fill her new 'free time' in positive ways. She'd begun to pack items that weren't essentials for everyday living here for the move to San Diego.

It was hard to talk about Mattie and hard not to. Every email that she received from Harm, somewhere in its contents, he asked if she'd heard from Mattie.

In order to keep their sanity, they had to assume that no news was good news and that Mattie was doing well.


	30. Chapter 30

**PART THREE – Friday, June 24, 2005 **

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**JAG HQ**

Mac had been in court all day, hearing a case that had Lt. Vukovic, who was the prosecuting attorney, facing off against Commander Turner, who was the attorney for the defense.

Today, she'd watched Commander Turner tear through the prosecution's case, leaving, in her opinion, more than a reasonable doubt about the defendant's guilt. It wasn't that the lieutenant wasn't or couldn't be a good lawyer, but he wasn't as good as he thought he was, and that was his weakest point.

The trial was hard for Mac to sit through because she didn't think that it was going the way that it should and she had to constantly remind herself that she wasn't a lawyer on the case, but the judge. It was because she was the judge that she was glad that the case was up to a jury, because she personally thought that the man was guilty. However, Sturgis had been very successful at raising points of his possible innocence, and if Vukovic didn't reevaluate the facts and bring them to light when court resumed on Tuesday, Mac felt that the defendant was going to be a free man.

If the trial by itself wasn't sapping more of Mac's energy than it should, Lt. Vukovic wasn't helping matters by repeatedly trying to change her mind about taking him to San Diego.

His last attempt at pleading his case to be transferred to the JLS had occurred just after she'd dismissed court this afternoon. He'd followed her back to her office. When she'd said that the answer was the same as the first time, 'no,' he'd left. She'd thought that she'd seen the last of him, at least for today, but he'd reappeared at her office door just as she'd begun to straighten up her desk to secure for the day. Vukovic had leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms across his body in a way that Mac was sure that he was trying to imitate Harm.

Was Vukovic intentionally trying to imitate Harm? Was his tone of voice supposed to seduce her? Was the invitation to join him for dinner so that he could try to get her into bed or was his motive only to present an argument of his worthiness for a spot on her team in San Diego? Whichever one it was, she'd had enough of his antics and had decided that it was time to make sure that he understood where he stood with her.

"Lieutenant, let me make something perfectly clear to you. I don't like the careless manner with which you investigate your cases. You look for information that agrees only with your own theories. You don't delve into any small details to be sure that the truth is found. You care about your chances of winning a case and that's all. You think that you were sent to JAG headquarters because you're such a good lawyer. It's my opinion that you were sent here to find out that you aren't that good. It's also my belief that you need to stay here until you've learned what you were sent here to learn. Furthermore, I don't need a lawyer in my command who will not or can not conduct himself in a respectful and proper manner when interacting with female staff and superior officers. With that said, I believe you need to figure out how to repair the damage that Commander Turner did to your case in court today, and I was just leaving. You're dismissed, Lieutenant."

With a simple, "Yes, ma'am," he was gone.

Vukovic had wanted to say something more, but he knew that it wasn't the time or place to respond to her comments. He had three months to get on her good side and get her to change her mind. The colonel might be a Marine, but she was also a woman, and he could handle her - he'd get her to change her mind.

**HARM AND MAC'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Once inside the confines of her home, Mac began to relax. She'd planned to reheat some leftovers for dinner, but she didn't have the energy. She was physically and mentally exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the past week.

Mac had been relieved and thankful that Ms. LeMoine had made arrangements for Harm to visit Mattie tomorrow and Sunday. The foster home was in Blacksburg, so they were going to be spending a lot of time on the road this weekend. Mac prayed that the custody hearing on Monday would bring resolution and not more heartache.

A shower helped to rejuvenate her, not as much as a bath would've, but it helped.

Stepping out of the shower, Mac thought about wearing something sexy, but she knew that Harm would be tired when he arrived, so she put on her green satin pajamas.

To keep as much leave time as possible in reserve for his flight quals and for their wedding and honeymoon, Harm had opted to work today and take a late flight out of London. Even with the time difference between London and DC, he was going to be arriving late, so Harm had decided that he'd rent a car at the airport, one that they could take Mattie out in if they had the opportunity to do so, and drive himself to the apartment.

Mac began to pull files from her briefcase and place them on the coffee table as she'd done many nights in the past few weeks. Before she opened the first file, she decided that some reheated Chinese food did sound good after all.

After she'd eaten and made sure that the kitchen was clean, she settled onto the couch to read over the trial material in preparation for Tuesday. She opened the file and began to read.

***********

Harm's drive from the airport had seemed to take hours, but in reality, traffic had been light and it had taken only forty-five minutes.

He'd put the apartment key on his key ring in his pocket before leaving London this time and, as he approached the apartment door, he reached into his pocket to pull out the key. He hoped that it was also the key to a good night's sleep since he hadn't slept well since Mattie had been moved to a foster home.

When Mac heard the key in the lock and saw the knob turning, she got up to meet him. The door opened and there stood her handsome sailor with his travel bag slung over his shoulder.

His eyes had a vacant look, and fatigue showed in his face, which was accented with worry lines. His current look was almost an exact duplicate of the way that he'd looked when he'd been commuting to see a comatose Mattie.

He made eye contact with her briefly before he turned to shut the door. "You shouldn't have waited up."

"I wanted to," Mac said before the door clicked closed and he turned back to her.

Mac was close to him now, and he looked even more tired close up. She touched his shoulder. "You look like you're ready for some shut-eye."

Harm nodded affirmatively before brushing his lips over hers and wrapping an arm around her waist, giving her a gentle squeeze before letting his arm fall away.

After greeting Mac, Harm headed to the bedroom, and Mac followed him.

It wasn't the kind of reunion kiss that Mac had anticipated, but she could see that he was tired and she knew that the reason why he was in town had to be weighing heavily on his mind. She needed to keep that in mind and not be upset by his seeming disinterest in her.

Harm dropped his bag at the end of the bed and, knowing that she'd followed him into the bedroom, he asked over his shoulder, "Did you get a call today from Ms. LeMoine?"

"No, why?"

"She called me today at the office. She wants us to meet with her before we go to see Mattie," Harm informed Mac.

"Did she say why?"

"No, I just hope that she isn't going to tell us that we can't see her," Harm stated.

"Where are we supposed to meet her?"

"I wrote the name down, but I don't remember right now. It's a diner near the mall in Blacksburg. She said that we could talk over coffee," Harm replied.

"I don't think that she'd have you drive all the way to Blacksburg just to tell you that you can't see Mattie," Mac said reassuringly.

Harm smiled at her comforting tone and logical assessment. "You're right. I hope you don't mind, but I made reservations at a hotel in Blacksburg for the weekend. I thought it would be easier on us if we didn't have to make the drive back and forth, though you and I do have things to talk about while I'm here that could've filled the time in the car."

Mac took note that Harm sounded as tired as he looked.

"Yes, we do have a few things to talk about, but there are more pressing matters to tend to, and the first of which is for you to get some sleep," Mac said, patting his arm. "You get into bed. I'll go put away the file that I was reading and then come back in here and pack a few things that I'll need for a stay in Blacksburg this weekend. That way, we can get an earlier start in the morning," Mac said before she kissed his cheek.

While Mac went to the living room to put away her files, Harm stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He'd just pulled up the covers when Mac reentered the bedroom.

Harm watched as she pulled a bag off a shelf and pulled a smaller one out of a drawer. His eyes were heavy, and he wanted to sleep, but he couldn't take his eyes off her as she moved quickly and efficiently, filling the larger bag with some clothing and the smaller bag that she'd taken from the drawer with toiletries.

"I'm sure that the hotel has a bathtub, so, if you have any bath stuff around here, you should pack that, too," Harm suggested.

"Good call, thanks," she responded.

Mac felt his eyes on her, watching her pack.

Harm didn't know exactly how long it took her to pack, but it didn't take long.

Mac placed her packed bag at the foot of the bed next to his before coming back to her side of the bed to pull back the covers. Her eyes made contact with his. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all…looking forward to it," Harm replied with a yawn.

Mac slipped into bed. His arm went around her, and she snuggled into him.

They quickly fell asleep, cuddled together.


	31. Chapter 31

**PART FOUR – Time to Visit, Time to Talk**

**SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 2005**

Harm had slept, but not peacefully, so the sight of the woman at his side sleeping soundly gave his heart a needed boost.

He watched her sleep for a few moments before placing a soft kiss on her cheek and slipping out of bed.

He carefully placed his travel bag on the end of the bed, pulled out a few things and headed for the shower.

Mac felt the warmth and gentleness of his lips on her cheek. It took her only a minute to open her eyes, but, by the time she did, there was only empty space beside her.

The sound of the water turning on in the shower let her know where he was. She got out of bed and began to dress. She thought of joining him, but he'd been distant last night. He was concerned about the meeting with Ms. LeMoine this morning and the outcome of the hearing on Monday. She needed to let him have his space, but be close by if he needed her.

Harm came out of the shower area with his hair still wet and barefoot, but he had on his jeans. As he walked towards his travel bag perched on the end of the bed, Mac asked, "Can we grab some coffee on the way to Blacksburg? I'd make some, but if we're going to be gone for a couple of days, I'd like to leave the kitchen clean."

"Sure. We can grab some breakfast, too, or we can wait until we get to the diner to eat," Harm suggested.

"I think coffee now and breakfast later would be fine," Mac replied.

They continued to dress without speaking again.

Harm finished dressing first. Intending to head into the living room with his travel bag and wait for her to finish dressing, he administered a quick peck on her lips, but getting a strange look from her had him looking down to see if he'd left his zipper down or something. Seeing nothing odd about the way he was dressed, he asked, "What's wrong?"

She got a smug look on her face. "Men have it so easy...pants, shirt and shoes, and they're dressed. Women have to put on all of that plus an extra undergarment, make up...and it needs to be orchestrated in a way that reveals enough to draw attention, but not so much that she attracts the wrong kind of attention."

"And if you don't hurry, there won't be time to get coffee," Harm responded teasingly.

"Give me ten minutes. I'll be ready," Mac replied with a glare and then grinned at him to let him know that she was teasing back.

"Then we leave in ten minutes," he said before he left the bedroom with his travel bag to wait for her in the living room.

Mac clocked herself. She went into the living room with the bag that she'd packed last night with time to spare, but she wasn't quite ready. She stopped at the armoire, reached in, took out a spiral notebook and slipped it into her bag.

At her ten-minute time limit, they'd put their bags in the trunk of the rental car and were on their way to a coffee shop for a couple of cups of morning caffeine before heading to Blacksburg.

They arrived at the diner in Blacksburg at 0845. The meeting with Ms. LeMoine was scheduled for 0930, so there was plenty of time to order breakfast.

Harm wasn't feeling hungry, but having given Mac the speech about wrecking your blood sugar by not eating, he didn't want to skip a meal in front of her, so he ordered something: a fruit plate and a second cup of coffee. For Mac, stressing about the outcome of the day had her wanting to eat everything in sight, so she ordered the breakfast special: two hot cakes, an egg, bacon and toast, and coffee to drink.

The time between ordering and their breakfast arriving at the table was filled with awkward silence. Thank goodness their breakfast arrived promptly.

Mac took a few bites of her breakfast before breaking the silence. "Did she give you any idea of why she wanted to meet with you?"

"No, but I'm guessing that it isn't a good thing," Harm answered before popping a grape into his mouth.

Mac couldn't think of any comforting words to offer him, so they fell back into silence.

At 0915, the silence was broken by Ms. LeMoine's voice. "Mr. Rabb and Ms. MacKenzie....I'm so glad that you could meet with me this morning."

Harm, being a gentleman, asked if she'd like something to eat or drink. After her coffee was ordered, they made several minutes of polite small talk, which caused Harm and Mac a great deal of anxiety. Finally, Ms. LeMoine got to the point. "I wanted to tell you a few things about Mattie before you saw her today."

Harm was sitting on the edge of his seat. "What's happened?" he asked, bracing himself for bad news.

Ms. LeMoine looked at Harm then at Mac before she began. "Mattie's had some setbacks."

Mac was on the edge of her seat as well and getting more irritated by the minute with Ms. LeMoine for dragging out what she had to say. The intense look on Harm's face and news that Mattie had had some setbacks was enough to put the lady Marine in 'protect family' mode and she needed to know from what she needed to protect them, so the woman needed to get to the point.

"Ms. LeMoine, I'm sure that you're trying to be gentle with giving us the news, but just tell us what's happened," Mac stated firmly.

With the intense looks on both Harm and Mac's faces, Ms. LeMoine took in a deep breath. "Very well, then, direct to the point...Mattie's the oldest one of five children in the foster home where she's staying. Being a member of an active household has caused her to have some muscle pain as the muscles are worked and stretched. Her foster mother was concerned that her pain was more than the normal discomfort that she'd been told that Mattie would have. On Wednesday, she took Mattie to see the doctor. The doctor put Mattie on bed rest for the remainder of Wednesday and all day Thursday. He prescribed a mild muscle relaxant to make her more comfortable. He also recommended that she use the walker instead of the crutches for awhile."

The couple's intense looks of worry had turned to concern, and they were paying close attention to her words as Ms. LeMoine continued. "Mattie wasn't thrilled about moving to foster care to begin with, but she seemed to be doing all right until the visit with the doctor. Mattie saw her need for bed rest and the walker as more than just a precaution. By Friday afternoon, she was noticeably withdrawing from the others in the house and lacked an appetite. I conferred with Dr. Browning, and she feels that Mattie is depressed. Given Mattie's state of mind, yesterday, before I called you, Mr. Rabb, I spoke with Dr. Browning again about how she felt that Mattie might feel about your visit. We're sure that she wants to see you, but with her current mental and physical condition, she may be self-conscious and, therefore, could respond negatively to you. Mattie doesn't know that I've arranged for you to visit. Dr. Browning and I felt it best to let her believe that she wouldn't be seeing you until the hearing, just in case you had flight delays or, after we informed you of her current state, you didn't want to see her."

Mac was incensed at the thought that this woman would think for a moment that they wouldn't want to see Mattie. Harm saw the look in Mac's eyes, reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze while he spoke. "While we appreciate the information so that we aren't caught off guard by Mattie's mood or the use of her walker, it doesn't discourage us from wanting to see her."

Mac relaxed a little under his reassuring grip. She was also proud of Harm's more delicate handling of what she was thinking, but she had a question. "What is Mattie's current physical condition?"

Ms. LeMoine was relieved, although not surprised by the couple's decision to see Mattie. She addressed Mac's question. "With the medication, she seems to be in less pain and she seems to be steadier on her feet. The doctor said that she could try crutches again after her appointment next week if she was feeling better. Given her recent setback, the doctor recommended keeping her close to home, so to speak, so you'll be visiting with her today at her foster home, and I'll be staying to observe. The foster mother has asked for us to leave at lunchtime so that we don't impair the lunch schedule for the children in the home. However, if the morning goes well, I'll make arrangements for you to go back this afternoon after Mattie's had lunch and a chance to rest. Unless there are any questions, we can leave whenever you're ready. You can follow me in your car so that you'll be able to find the place this afternoon."

The check for their breakfast had been delivered at some point during their conversation and lay on the table. "Let me take care of this, and we're ready," Harm said.

While following Ms. LeMoine's car, they remained silent, but Harm reached for Mac's hand, and both of them took comfort from the contact.

They drove for less than fifteen minutes before Ms. LeMoine pulled up in front of a house that was painted a sunny yellow color with white trim. Harm pulled his car up behind Ms. LeMoine's, and everyone got out of their cars.

Ms. LeMoine said, "I'll go in to make sure that Mattie's up and dressed. I'll let you know when she's ready to see you."

When Ms. LeMoine entered the house, a blonde little boy about six years old ran out, bolting for the bicycle that was laying on the grass.

The boy made two passes by them on the sidewalk on his bike, but he stopped on the third. "Who're you here to look at?"

Harm and Mac looked down at the boy, knowing what he meant. "Mattie," they replied.

"She's old. You sure you want her?" the little boy asked.

"We're sure," Mac replied.

Ms. LeMoine called from the porch. "Tyler, they need to come inside now. I'll come out and talk to you when I get them settled in. Okay?"

"Okay, Miss Donna."

Ms. LeMoine waved to the couple to come up to the house. Once Harm and Mac had reached the porch, she gave them more information. "Mattie was on the deck, reading. I told her that she had visitors and I didn't get much of a response, but when I told her that it was the two of you, she wanted to comb her hair. She asked me to show you to the back deck. She says that it's the quietest place in the house."

Out on the deck, Harm began to pace the small deck almost immediately, while Ms. LeMoine stood at the patio doors, waiting for Mattie to return.

Mac sat at the end of the picnic table, facing the sliding glass door and wondering how much longer Mattie was going to be. They had to leave at a certain time, and she was wasting the time they had to visit. After a check of her internal clock, Mac realized that she was just being impatient. It had been only three minutes and forty-two seconds since they'd been shown to the deck. Mac was scolding herself for not giving Mattie a reasonable amount of time to spruce herself up and didn't hear the door open, but she heard Mattie.

"You guys are really here," Mattie said softly, like she was relieved.

Harm made it across the deck to Mattie in two strides. Her walker made it difficult for him to get close enough to her to give her the firm holding hug that he'd wanted to, but he managed to embrace her nonetheless. Mac was standing at Harm's side and hugged Mattie when Harm let her go.

They all sat down to talk, and Mattie started. "I guess you noticed the walker. It isn't permanent. I was just getting too tired with the crutches, but they gave me some medicine to take, and I feel much better. I should be back to crutches next week."

Harm and Mac weren't sure if they should let Mattie know that they already knew about her medical issues and her bout with depression or not, so they just let her talk.

Mattie's next topic was about the other children in the home. Harm and Mac didn't listen to more than the names and ages of three of the other children, but when Mattie got to Tyler's story, they listened intently to what Mattie had to say.

Tyler had been in foster care since he was a day old. The identity of his father was unknown, and he had a drug addicted mother, who'd gotten clean once when Tyler was two, but she hadn't been able to stay clean. She'd been clean only long enough to get supervised visitations with Tyler as a way of reintroducing him to a mother whom he'd never known, but within a few months, she was using again and, before his third birthday, she'd quit coming to see him. Knowing the stories of the other children, Mattie said, was one of the hardest things about being here.

Ms. LeMoine sat on the other side of the deck while the three of them visited, watching and listening to them for thirty minutes before she excused herself to go talk to Tyler as she'd promised.

Ms. LeMoine hadn't been inside more than two minutes before Mattie started to cry and, in her tear-filled voice, said, "I don't want to stay here."

Harm reached for her hand, and Mac put an arm around her shoulders. Mattie leaned her head against Mac, and Harm tried to comfort her with words. "Monday's only a couple of days away. Hang in there."

It took several minutes, but Mattie calmed and started to ask questions, not about the pending custody case, but about a wedding date and about Jennifer since she hadn't seen or heard from her since she'd moved to the foster home.

***********

Ms. LeMoine entered the Potter home and, before moving away from the patio doors, she witnessed Mattie crying, Ms. MacKenzie offering a comforting embrace, Mr. Rabb placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and, judging from the way his lips were moving, he was also offering her words of comfort.

Ms. LeMoine hoped that the judge who was presiding over their case on Monday wasn't an idiot. She had several children in her care, like Tyler, who didn't have caring people wanting them and waiting in the wings for the legal right to adopt them. Adding to Ms. LeMoine's concerns about Mattie's custody was that, statistically, after a certain age, children weren't seen as 'cute' anymore, and it was almost impossible to find them homes. Mattie's age, in conjunction with her physical needs at the moment, put her in the group that, if Mr. Rabb didn't get custody, made it highly likely that Mattie would be in foster care until her eighteenth birthday when her age would expel her from the program.

Mrs. Potter, the foster mother of this home, saw Ms. LeMoine in the kitchen and greeted her, interrupting Ms. LeMoine's thoughts and causing her to turn her attention away from the trio.

After spending a few moments in polite conversation with Mrs. Potter, Ms. LeMoine went looking for Tyler.

After finding Tyler and speaking with him for a few minutes, Ms. LeMoine returned to the deck to observe her charge and the prospective parents until Mrs. Potter, a short stout woman, appeared at the patio doors.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but lunch will be ready in ten minutes," Mrs. Potter informed everyone on the deck before disappearing back into the house.

As Ms. LeMoine gathered her notes, she heard Mattie telling her potential parents, "That was Mrs. Potter, the foster mother. She has us call her Miss Nancy though, because she said that it avoids having to explain to the younger children that she doesn't know Harry, the wizard kid in the movies."

Ms. LeMoine asked Mattie if, after lunch and some rest, she'd like for her visitors to come back for another couple of hours. After getting a definite yes from Mattie about Harm and Mac returning later today, Ms. LeMoine said, "Then let me go tell Mrs. Potter that they'll be back this afternoon."

Ms. LeMoine returned a few minutes later. "Mattie, I'll walk your guests out. Your lunch is ready."

Ms. LeMoine used the walk out to the cars to tell Harm and Mac that they could visit from two until five this afternoon. She also had an idea for another visit for the trio tomorrow.

"I think that Mattie would enjoy a few hours away from the house, so what if we arrange for a little trip to the mall for her? I could bring her to the diner where we met this morning, and the two of you could meet us there. If you promise to see that she gets lunch and have her back here by five for dinner, I don't see any reason why I can't authorize an unsupervised visit."

Harm and Mac quickly agreed to, not only the chance to visit with Mattie outside the foster home, but also to the conditions before they thanked Ms. LeMoine for her help and went their separate ways for the day.

After leaving the Potter house, Harm and Mac went to get themselves some lunch.

Harm was feeling better after seeing Mattie, so he ate a "real" lunch.

After lunch, it was too early to return to the foster home to see Mattie and too early to check into the hotel.

Harm, remembering that he'd seen a public park in route to the foster home earlier today, drove to the diner near the mall and retraced their morning route until he found the park.

Arriving at the park, he parked the car and got out first so that he could walk around and open her door.

Mac looked at him, puzzled. "Why did we come here?" she asked as she got out of the car.

He reached for her hand and started to walk down the sidewalk into the park.

"The main reason why I came to DC was to get custody of Mattie, but I believe that you and I have some plans to discuss while I'm here, too. So, we have some time before we can see Mattie again, and this looked like a nice place to walk and talk."

Mac smiled at him and moved closer, taking his hand as they began to stroll down the path in awe of the sights and sounds of the lovely park until they reached a bench under a shade tree just off the path. It was the perfect quiet place to sit and talk. So, they sat side by side, holding hands to talk about their options now that she wasn't going to be leaving the Corps.

Harm brought up the options that he wasn't fond of first, the ones that required that they do nothing for the next two years until he could retire with O-6 pay or she was eligible for retirement, before listing his favorite option, the one that had them going ahead and getting married as soon as possible.

Since Mac's next career move, heading JLS, seemed to be set in stone, if they went ahead and married, once the 'I do's' were done, Harm would request geographic relocation to be near her.

Mac's concern with this option was that he'd be giving up his command and the potential to become the next JAG. However, after a brief and reassuring statement about wanting to become the next JAG being less important to him than being with her, he could see in her eyes that she was considering the idea of marrying sooner rather than later.

His first real sign that she was almost on board with his plan was when she asked when he wanted to get married, and he was ready with that answer, too.

Harm pointed out that, according to the dates that she'd emailed him, she had a gap between her judiciary service and her transfer to San Diego. It should be easy for her to get leave between the two in mid to late September, and they could get married then. If they could both get enough time off, they'd go on a honeymoon, too, and, if they couldn't, he'd owe her a luxurious first anniversary getaway.

Mac was mulling over his suggested date when she had to point out the current time to him. It was time to head back to the foster home to see Mattie.

They walked back to the car, arm in arm and, on the way, they agreed to get married in September.

They left the park and returned to see Mattie with the feeling that something had gone right today - they'd decided on when they wanted to be married.

Whether it was the absence of an observer or the fact that Mattie was feeling less depressed since their earlier visit, she seemed to be more relaxed and happier when they returned for their afternoon visit.

Mattie was talkative and asked what they'd had for lunch and other questions of little importance in the grand scheme of things. Mattie told Harm that her laptop hadn't been allowed in the home, but they'd put it away for her to take with her when she left. She explained that that's why she hadn't emailed anyone. She understood the rule, but she said that it made her miss everyone even more – especially Harm.

The afternoon visit also seemed shorter than the three hours allowed them, but when it was time to go, Harm and Mac left without prodding, knowing that they'd be seeing her tomorrow.

After they left the foster home, they went straight to the hotel and checked in. Then, after taking their bags to the room and freshening up a bit, they went out for an early dinner.

During dinner, Mac was able to relax, knowing that Mattie was doing okay and that they had a time frame for being married. However, Harm was still keyed up. He'd hold her hand or put an arm around her, but there was still a certain emotional distance between them, and he wasn't talking about it.

Once back in the room, Mac told Harm that she was going to take advantage of the room having a bathtub and disappeared into the bathroom.

Mac soaked in the warm water and scented bath oil for about twenty minutes before slipping into something a little sexier than pajamas, a long silk nightgown.

When she came into the bedroom, Harm was in bed with his back to the bathroom door. As she moved closer, she thought that she heard a faint snore, but when she got into bed and snuggled up against his back, he spoke.

"The bath helped, right?" he asked.

"Yes, maybe you should try it. It might help you relax."

"I'm a shower man, but thanks," he replied.

She slipped her arm around him. "You can talk to me, you know."

He wrapped his hand around hers that was pressed against his chest. "I know," he said as he brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. He then moved their joined hands back down to rest on his chest over his heart.

Without either of them speaking again, they fell asleep in that position.

**SUNDAY, JUNE 26, 2005**

The morning went much like yesterday. Harm was up first and in the shower when Mac woke, so she got dressed and then waited for her turn in the bathroom.

After they were both dressed and ready, they went to the same diner for breakfast where they'd met Ms. LeMoine yesterday.

Mattie and Ms. LeMoine arrived shortly after they'd finished eating.

Ms. LeMoine informed Harm and Mac that she knew that the mall was a hard place to bring a teenage girl and then tell them not to buy her anything, but there was limited space at the foster home, so it might be better for them to take her to see a movie than to shop. She did have one other suggestion. "If you can't resist buying her something, a new outfit for court tomorrow or a DVD that all the children can watch would be acceptable choices."

Ms. LeMoine, talking about the limited space for personal items at the home and making suggestions for how to spend their day, reminded Mac about the rules at the foster home, which prompted her to ask about a rule that Mattie had mentioned yesterday. "Why wasn't Mattie allowed to have access to her laptop in order to email us?"

Ms. LeMoine responded, "I'm sorry. There must have been a misunderstanding of the rules, so let me explain. Laptops and game systems are very valuable as trade items or 'for sale' if they fall into the wrong hands, so Mattie wasn't allowed to have the computer in her room where it could be stolen or used by someone other than herself, but she would've been given access to it to email you. I know that Mrs. Potter wanted to give Mattie her laptop while she was in bed for those thirty-six hours so that she could email her friends and make her feel less lonely, but she held to the rule that it had to be used with supervision. She encouraged Mattie to write letters to you, but Mattie's still self-conscious about her penmanship and didn't write."

Harm and Mac felt a little better now that they knew that Mattie could email them. However, since they were getting to see her now and, hopefully, on Monday she'd be on her way to London with Harm, clarifying the rule of the laptop's use seemed to be a moot point.

After making sure that Mattie was set for the day, Ms. LeMoine reminded them that Mattie needed to eat lunch and be back at the foster home by five for dinner.

They looked around the mall until lunchtime and then grabbed lunch in the food court. To break up the day and give Mattie a chance to rest, they took Ms. LeMoine's suggestion and went to the movies. After the movie, they got ice cream, and then Mac went into serious shopping mode and found Mattie an outfit to wear to court tomorrow. They got Mattie back to the home at 1645, fifteen minutes early.

A day at the mall with two women would have been a nightmare for some men, but, for Harm, it was one of the best days that he'd had in awhile. 'His girls' were smiling, talking and laughing, and it made him feel like everything was going to be okay.

Unfortunately for Mac, the evening was entirely too similar to last night. When she came out of the bathroom from taking her warm bath tonight, Harm was in bed, lying on his back and sound asleep.

Knowing that he was probably effected by the time zone difference and feeling stressed about Mattie's hearing tomorrow, though she was disappointed, Mac figured that he needed the sleep and climbed into bed, snuggling her body close to his to let him know that she was there.


	32. Chapter 32

**PART FIVE - Monday, June 27, 2007**

When Harm woke at 0230, he was on his side facing Mac, and she was lying on her back with her head on his arm and her side flush with his body.

His eyes took in the beauty of her face while the smell of the bath oil that she must have used last night teased his nostrils. With the room so quiet, he could hear her breathing. The silk nightgown and the warmth of her body made him want to indulge his senses of touch and taste as well.

His body craved hers. It had from the moment that he'd taken her into his arms at his apartment on Friday night when he'd arrived, but he'd resisted because, though his body wanted her, his mind was on the custody hearing, and it wouldn't be fair to Mac for him to give her less than his full attention.

However, after a few minutes and unable to rein in his desire, he began to kiss and nibble on her shoulder, allowing his sense of taste to join his other senses in enjoying her. He nuzzled her neck and felt her stir. That's when he knew that he needed to gain control and began to pull away.

Her eyes opened. "Don't stop, Sailor," she said as she pulled him into a kiss. His body tensed when her lips first covered his, but he started to relax as the kiss intensified. She knew that his mind was elsewhere, but she wanted him.

He started to speak, to give her some kind of explanation of why he hadn't been as forthcoming with his affection this homecoming as last time. She placed her index finger over his lips. "Shhh, just kiss me again."

He saw understanding in her eyes and moved his lips to cover hers. When his lips were close to hers, he whispered "I love you" before his eyes closed and their lips met.

After their joining, they lay tangled together in the sheets in silence and fell back to sleep.

Later that morning, Mac was the first to awake. She wanted to let Harm get as much sleep as possible, so she slipped out of bed and showered as quietly as she could. By the time Harm awoke, she was dressed and ready to go to breakfast.

As soon as Harm got himself ready, they packed their bags into the rental car and checked out of the hotel. Harm was thankful that the hearing had been set for nine, so the wait was almost over.

Since Ms. LeMoine would be bringing Mattie to court this morning, they left the hotel and went to breakfast before heading to the courthouse. 

**BLACKSBURG FAMILY COURT **

**COURT ROOM THREE **

Mattie was sitting between Harm and Mac at the table to the judge's right. Harm was displaying a calm exterior, but Mac and Mattie were starting to fidget. Ms. LeMoine sat in the gallery behind Mattie.

The bailiff entered the room from the side door and called the court into session by calling for everyone to stand for the honorable Judge Marshal Jacobs.

The judge entered the courtroom by way of the same side door and then sat down behind the bench. "You may all be seated," the judge said first.

Judge Jacobs wasted no time in convening the hearing. "I've read the case file and would like to get started. I understand, Miss Johnson, that you've dazzled the doctors with the rate of your recovery and that you were released from a physical rehabilitation program at Westover last Monday. However, you were not released from your doctor's care. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Miss Johnson, have you ever been in a judge's chambers before?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Well, after today, you won't be able to say that. Ben is my clerk. He'll show you to my chambers. I want to ask Mr. Rabb and Ms. MacKenzie a few questions before I join you. I want to talk to you privately about where you'd like to live and why, although the court reporter will be present to record our conversation into the record. Do you understand, Miss Johnson?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Very well then. Ben, will you escort Miss Johnson to my chambers?"

Ben, a tall, good looking man had already made his way from where he'd been sitting to their table. It took Mattie a moment to stand, but once on her feet, she moved fairly well, and it took only a minute to exit the courtroom through the door that the judge had entered a few minutes ago.

The judge lowered his head and shuffled some papers that were laying in front of him. When he looked up again, his smile had turned into a scowl. The judge scanned the courtroom to make sure that Mattie was out of the room before he spoke in a harsh tone. "As I said earlier, I've read the file, so don't bore me with things that you think I want to hear, Commander Rabb."

Harm began. "The file needs some updating, Your Honor. It's now Captain Rabb. As for saying things that I think you'd like to hear, I wouldn't say anything simply to be saying it."

The judge chuckled with a snort. "I should have known that my hard ass act wouldn't work on a military man and a lawyer to boot. I see that you had temporary guardianship of Miss Johnson before she went back to her father and now you're seeking permanent custody. Why didn't you ask for temporary guardianship again? No one would have given this case a second look and it would've been approved based on the fact that you'd already cared for her."

Harm took a moment to gather his thoughts into something that didn't sound too lawyer like. "I thought that her going back to her father was in her best interest at the time. I now have the hindsight of knowing that Mr. Johnson isn't up to the job of providing Mattie with a stable home. Because of the accident in which she was involved, I don't want her to think that I feel sorry for her or will turn my back on her when things get tough or if she doesn't get any better than she is right now, so I requested permanent custody."

The judge briefly looked down at the file on the bench. He looked up and made eye contact with Harm. "I see that you've found an agency that can provide you with a caregiver or a nurse for Miss Johnson in London. I was in the Navy from '72 to '78. I know that they don't just let you say that I've got to stay in town with my kid. So, what if I grant you custody and she isn't yet able to travel? Do you have a plan for that?"

Mac answered. "Your Honor, if you grant his petition and Mattie is unable to leave the country with him, he could leave her with me until she can travel."

"If the two of you are to be married and Ms. MacKenzie is willing to care for Miss Johnson, why isn't this a joint petition for custody?"

Harm responded. "Your Honor, I petitioned the court before I got orders to London. I had three days to prepare for transfer. I almost didn't have time to propose. In the haste of moving, taking over my new post and acquiring suitable housing, I'm afraid that joint custody wasn't something that Ms. MacKenzie and I discussed."

"Well, Ms. MacKenzie, let me ask you. How do you feel about starting off your life with him and a teenager? I mean, don't you think that custody will put a cramp in your newlywed life?"

"I suppose that it may cause some privacy issues. However, I think that we can resolve any issues that arise, so I have no hesitation concerning either matter, the custody petition or the marriage." Mac hadn't consciously slipped into lawyer mode, but that's how she delivered her lines.

"I see. Let me guess. You're a Navy lawyer, too?"

"No, sir...yes, sir." She sounded like Bud when she answered, stammering a little. "I am a lawyer, sir, but Marine, not Navy."

Judge Jacobs chuckled. "Is that legal? I mean, a Marine marrying a sailor?"

Mac relaxed at his humor. "Legal, but not advised, Your Honor." She smiled a sweet smile. The judge chuckled again.

"Are you going to be joining Captain Rabb in London?"

"That was the original plan, Your Honor, but the military has changed our plans."

"How's that?"

"Beginning in October, my new duty assignment will be in San Diego, California."

"Is Mattie aware that you're moving to San Diego?" Judge Jacobs asked.

"Yes, she is, Your Honor. I was able to inform her of that before she left the hospital."

"Do you still plan to be married?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Mac replied.

"Have you set a date?"

"Not exactly, Your Honor. What we currently have is a window of opportunity between my current and next duty stations. We hope to take advantage of that and be married in mid to late September," Mac informed the judge.

Judge Jacobs's response was, "I see." After a moment's pause, he said, "I think I should speak with Miss Johnson now." A second later, with a bang of his gavel, Judge Jacobs dismissed the session and went into his chambers to meet with Mattie.

**JUDGE JACOBS' CHAMBERS**

**BLACKSBURG COURTHOUSE**

Judge Jacobs had read in the file about Mattie's accident and injuries, and had expected a much more fragile young lady in court this morning. He entered his chambers and greeted Mattie. She was sitting in a chair in front of his big oak desk. To give the court reporter time to set up and so that he could get seated behind his desk, he asked Mattie how she was feeling.

"Overall, I'm good. I have a few aches and pains, but nothing like before. I overworked some muscles, and the doctor has me using the walker until my appointment next week."

"You've been through a lot. How are you dealing with all the stress?"

"Before I moved to the foster home, I had friends who emailed, and Harm emailed at me at least once a day and called at least once a week."

"How about since you moved into the foster home?"

"It's been harder ...so hard...that I told a little white lie to Harm and Mac."

"What lie did you tell them?" Judge Jacobs asked.

"I told them that I couldn't have my computer, implying that was why I hadn't emailed them for the past week, when that isn't the complete truth. I couldn't keep my laptop in my room, but I could've used it and I didn't. I didn't email anyone. I...." Mattie's voice trailed off.

"Why didn't you email them?" Judge Jacobs prompted after Mattie remained silent for a few moments.

"Because I didn't know what to say to my friends...to Harm, Jennifer or Mac, so I just didn't write them at all."

Mattie was obviously getting upset, so the judge wanted to change the subject and he knew just what he wanted to ask. He remembered reading about a Jennifer Coates in Mattie's file when she'd previously been under the care of Captain Rabb, but he'd heard the name Mac a couple of times since they'd been in his chambers and he didn't have a clue as to who she was referring to and he wanted to know.

"Who is this Mac person you've mentioned?" the judge asked, confused.

"Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, his fiancée. Harm calls her Mac. I guess all of her friends do."

"How do you feel about the captain's engagement? I mean, it was sudden, wasn't it?"

"No, sir, not really. I mean, the proposal was sudden, but he's been in love with her for a long time."

"Do you and Ms. MacKenzie get along?"

"Yes, sir, we do."

"One more question, Miss Johnson. Do you like your foster home?" The judge saw her searching for an answer. "It's okay, young lady. I want to hear the truth."

"I don't like it, sir. They're nice people, but I don't know them. I don't feel at home there."

"Do you feel at home with Mr. Rabb?" Judge Jacobs asked.

"Yes, Your Honor."

"How about with Miss MacKenzie?"

"We've never shared a place before, but I feel comfortable with her, so I'd answer your question with a yes, Your Honor."

Judge Jacobs stood and walked around his desk. "You looked pretty steady on your feet when you came in here. Do you need assistance in returning to the courtroom?"

"No, sir. I can make it alone just fine."

The judge wondered if her statement was referring to her walk down the hall or the rest of her life.

**BLACKSBURG FAMILY COURT **

**COURT ROOM THREE**

Mattie came back into the courtroom, followed by the bailiff, and court was called to order and the proceeding began again.

Judge Jacobs began. "I have a few more things. First, Mr. Rabb, Miss MacKenzie volunteered to care for Mattie if she isn't able to travel by the time you have to leave. Would you have any apprehension about leaving her in Ms. MacKenzie's care?"

"None, Your Honor."

"Miss Johnson, would you have any objections to staying with Miss MacKenzie?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Given Mr. Rabb's current duty station and Miss Johnson's medical needs, I don't feel inclined to render a decision in this matter today." He paused. He seemed to be just thinking out loud and not really talking to anyone. "Miss Johnson, I see something unique in the two people with you. I don't see it in my court nearly often enough. Most potential parents usually sit together with the child sitting close to one or the other parent. They've sat on either side of you to provide you with support from both sides. That's very rare. From my observation, I think that I can say with certainty that we're all here to do what's best for you. I see the love and bond that's formed between the three of you, but, with Miss Johnson's recent setback, I don't think that it's in her best interest to leave her current doctor and therapy program that have helped her so much thus far."

Mattie reached for Harm and Mac's hands.

Judge Jacobs leaned back in his chair and made the mistake of looking at Mattie. Tears had started to roll down her cheeks. Judge Jacobs cleared his throat. "Mr. Rabb, do you have any objections to amending your petition to include Miss MacKenzie as a petitioner as well?"

"No objection, Your Honor."

"Miss MacKenzie, any objections to having your name added?"

"None, Your Honor."

"Then let the record reflect the addition of Miss MacKenzie to the petition." He wrote something in the file on his desk, leaving the room silent for a moment. "Then I think I'm ready to render my decision."

Harm had thought that the judge was going to continue the case, so the judge's pronouncement of his readiness to render a decision now caught him by surprise. Mac was surprised, too.

Mattie's grip on Harm and Mac's hands tightened as they watched Judge Jacobs shuffle papers for a few seconds before he began to speak again.

"A permanent order of custody will not be given at this time so that the court can continue to receive medical updates, as per the existing schedule. However, an order of temporary guardianship of Matilda Johnson is granted to Sarah MacKenzie, effective immediately, under the condition that Miss MacKenzie sees to it that Miss Johnson's doctor's appointments and therapy schedule are maintained, including her counseling sessions. Do you understand your responsibilities in this matter, Miss MacKenzie?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"And are you willing to accept these responsibilities?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Then this court will reconvene in ninety days, at which time I'll render a decision on the joint petition for permanent custody of Miss Johnson. Court is adjourned." He brought the gavel down with a bang, and then the judge stood and left the courtroom.

Ben approached the trio and said that it would take him a few minutes to put together some paperwork. He'd need a few signatures and an address to which to mail copies of the completed documents. While Ben spoke, Ms. LeMoine came from the gallery to join them.

After Ben left them to tend to the paperwork, Mattie spoke, "Can someone please tell me what just happened, because I'm not sure."

Harm responded. "The judge has reservations about you receiving the type of therapy you need in London, so he didn't grant me permanent custody."

Ms. LeMoine continued. "The judge also saw that they love you, and he didn't want you to be in a foster home if you had people to take care of you."

Mac spoke. "By adding my name to Harm's current custody petition, he could give me temporary physical custody of you without us having to file a new petition."

Mattie stammered. "So I'm going to live with Mac?"

The three adults answered. "Yes."

Well, she wasn't going to be living with Harm, but she wasn't going to be living at the foster home any longer either, so Mattie was smiling as they left the courtroom.

After a brief discussion between Harm, Mac and Ms. LeMoine, it was decided that Ms. LeMoine would take Mattie back to the Potters. That would allow Mattie to get some lunch and rest while Mac and Harm waited for the paperwork to be ready.

**NORTH OF UNION STATION **

From the time of the judge's decision, Harm and Mac had been focused on taking Mattie home. At the courthouse while they'd waited for Ben to reappear, they'd spoken about hiring someone to stay with Mattie while Mac was at work. Mac had called Harriet and told her what they needed. She'd also told her that Harm's flight didn't leave until late tomorrow evening, so he'd be free to do interviews throughout the day. Harriet had agreed to make some calls and get back to them.

It had taken two hours to get to the Potters to pick up Mattie and another thirty minutes to get Mattie and her things into the car and them on the road.

With Mattie asleep in the backseat of the car during the trip back to Washington, it hadn't been the place for Harm and Mac to talk, though Harm had some things that he wanted to say to Mac.

When they'd arrived home, Mac had awakened Mattie and taken her upstairs while Harm had unpacked the car. He and Mac had only one bag each, and Mattie had three pieces, if you included her laptop case.

Mac seemed to be quickly adjusting to her new 'mother' role. She'd wanted Mattie to lie down in bed and get some 'real' rest when they'd arrived, but Mattie had said that she felt better, and Mac had given in to a compromise: Mattie could rest on the couch until dinner.

Mattie was settled on the couch, resting, but wasn't asleep. Harm was in the bedroom, having just brought in their bags, and Mac went up to the bedroom to talk to him.

She got close enough to Harm so that Mattie couldn't hear. "Looks like you're sleeping on the couch tonight, Sailor."

He pulled her to him in a tight, but loving embrace. "Yeah, but for a good cause. I owe you big time for this one, Marine."

"You don't owe me. I've missed not being able to see her this past week. If I missed her, I can't imagine what it must be like for you. I'm sorry that the judge didn't award you custody, but I'm sure that he'll award us joint custody in ninety days."

"Yeah, especially if you marry me." He kissed Mac softly and then a second time that lingered a little longer. His lips were poised to take hers in a far more passionate exchange when a question being bellowed from the other room stopped them dead in their tracks. "What are you guys doing?"

Harm knew that he shouldn't say 'making out,' so he stalled, letting Mac answer. "We're talking about getting married."

Mac reached for the spiral notebook in her bag and swatted Harm on the six with it before she left the bedroom. Harm then followed her to the living room. Mac waved the notebook in Mattie's direction. "I took this with me, but I didn't have a chance to give it back to you." Recognizing the book, Mattie sat up. "We haven't really had time to look at your notes, but Harm and I have talked and decided to get married in mid to late September."

"That's in like three months. Is that enough time?"

"According to 'The Complete Wedding Planner,' Second Edition,* it's doable if we can find a place to hold the ceremony," Harm explained.

Mac and Mattie just laughed. "You've been reading about planning a wedding?" Mac asked.

Harm defended himself. "I had to know what to expect, didn't I? We've already done one thing out of order. According to the book, we were supposed to tell parents before we told friends…who knew?"

"Have you told your mother yet?" Mac asked.

"Sure did. She thinks that it's about time and she wants us to have a short engagement."

Mac looked surprised by his answer, but both ladies were smiling.

"I think, instead of a movie or something tonight, we should order a pizza, discuss some locations and look over Mattie's notebook together." Mac's suggestion was quickly agreed upon by the other two. "I don't suppose you have any idea about what this book that you've been reading says that we should do next, do you?" Mac asked.

"No, but I can look. The book's in my bag." Harm retreated to the bedroom to retrieve the book. After handing the book over to the ladies for review, he ordered the pizza.

With the pizza ordered, it was time to begin location discussions. They looked in Mattie's notebook, and three places were listed in there from their responses to her questions over the weeks prior to her leaving the hospital. They began talking about each location individually and were on number three when there was a knock on the door. They assumed that it was the pizza that they'd ordered, but it wasn't. It was Jennifer Coates inquiring about Mattie and the results of the hearing today. Harm invited her in, and she was thrilled when she saw Mattie sitting on the couch. Jennifer went to Mattie and gave her a hug. After the brief embrace, Jennifer asked, "So, you got custody, sir?"

There was another knock at the door, and this time it was the pizza delivery. By the time Harm had exchanged money for the pizza, Mattie and Mac had explained the court's decision to Jennifer. "So you got custody, ma'am?" Harm heard Jennifer ask.

The smell of the pizza made its way to Mac's nose. "Why don't you stay for dinner, Jennifer? We can fill you in while we eat."

Jennifer did join them and, after she was given the information about Mattie, she joined in the wedding planning. Jennifer volunteered to call the three locations tomorrow to see if the date that the couple wanted was available at any of them. They told Jennifer that they hadn't set a day aside, but gave her the window of time in which they were trying to schedule things. Jennifer asked if she should inquire about a reception hall being available at the location as well or if they preferred to have separate locations for the ceremony and reception.

They were all on a second slice of pizza when Harriet called. Mac wasn't sure how Mattie would react to having someone stay with her, so she'd tell Harm later what Harriet had said.

Harm was becoming more relaxed by the minute. Mattie would be living with someone whom he loved and trusted, and she'd be fine. Jennifer had joined the wedding planning, and he felt sure that, once Harriet got into the game, too, he wouldn't have to worry about anything except showing up on time.

The four of them were enthusiastic about getting some decisions made while the bride-to-be and groom were in the same country. It was Jennifer who brought up the subject of calling it a night. "Ma'am, I was just thinking about turning in, and it occurred to me that I have the place with two bedrooms. Would you like for Mattie to use her old room at my place?"

"Could I? Especially tonight ... it would be better than Harm having to sleep on the couch," Mattie begged.

"I don't want to inconvenience you, Jennifer," Mac replied.

"No, inconvenience, ma'am. I've missed having her around. It'll be fun ... and the captain is still paying half of the rent since I can't afford the place on my own, so, technically, it never stopped being Mattie's."

The dark circles under Mattie's eyes told Mac that she should decide quickly and get Mattie to bed. She'd had a very long day. Mac looked at Harm, and he nodded his approval of the idea. He was secretly thankful that Jennifer had spoken up. He hadn't wanted to ask, but allowing Mattie and Mac to each have their own space was a good idea. He was also glad that he wouldn't have to sleep on the couch tonight.

It took them a few minutes, but they got Mattie and her bags into her old room at Jennifer's. The couple then returned to their apartment, and Harm suggested that he clean up the mess from their pizza dinner while Mac got ready for bed. He said that he'd come to bed in a few minutes.

True to his word, Harm entered the bedroom eleven minutes later, according to Mac's internal clock. She was in bed when he came into the room, and he stood by the bed, unbuttoning his shirt.

She watched a moment before speaking. "Harriet's the one who called during dinner. She says that your first interview is at ten. You'll have three interviews in all. If you don't like any of them, let her know, and she'll call the agency back to set up some interviews for me on Wednesday at the office."

"Okay." The tie that he'd worn to court had been removed soon after they'd picked up Mattie. The jacket had made it until a stop for gas on the way back from Blacksburg. His shoes hadn't lasted two minutes once they'd arrived at the apartment, and now he was pulling off his shirt. He unfastened his pants and unzipped the zipper before easing them down his legs, stepping out of them and hanging them up on a hanger.

He got into bed, and she was soon at his side. His arms immediately went around her.

"Mac, are you okay with the way the judge ruled?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with it. I meant what I said earlier. I'm just sorry that she won't be in London to keep you company."

Harm laughed politely, but something else was on his mind. He gave Mac a little squeeze. "Mac, I'm sorry about this morning."

Mac didn't know to what he was referring. "Sorry about what?"

His hand was rubbing up and down her arm. "When we, when I ... it wasn't fair to you."

She lifted her head off his chest to look him in the eye. "I needed you this morning, too. Being with you eased _my_ worries as well. I know that, as long as we're together, everything else will work itself out somehow. So you don't need to apologize. I understand. You couldn't talk about it, but you needed me."

"You know me better than anyone else ever has," Harm confessed with a sigh.

"So it isn't so bad letting someone in, is it?" Mac replied with a smile.

"No, or letting go once in a while." They exchanged warm, loving smiles before their lips met in a passionate kiss that led them to loving each other.

Harm took things slowly and made up for the one-sided activity of that morning.

------------

*The book 'The Complete Wedding Planner, Second Revised Edition" is a book by Majabelle Young Stewart.


	33. Chapter 33

**PART SIX – Hello, Goodbye**

**TUESDAY, JUNE 28, 2007 **

Harm woke before the alarm sounded and found himself spooned behind Mac. He wasn't eager to have his last day here begin, but he was eager to use every available moment to do something that would assure either Mac or Mattie that he loved them and that they were going to be a family.

Knowing that Mattie wouldn't be up and ready for breakfast this early and that she needed her rest because of the recent set back in her recovery, he didn't want to wake her, giving him time to focus on the woman who he had his arms around at this very moment.

Harm spent an unknown amount of time, though if he had to guess, he'd say close to five full minutes, just relishing in the warmth of Mac against him and wishing that he could stay one more day with her.

Mac's body was nestled into his with the top of her head just under his chin. Harm lifted his head off his pillow so that he could see her face, but his view was obstructed by her hair, so he lifted his hand and began to brush her hair back, which he continued to do until, not only did he have a clearer view of her face, but also unobstructed access to her neck, which he immediately took advantage of by nuzzling in close enough to place his lips there.

The first kiss to her neck caused her to sigh, but the second kiss stirred her to the point that her arm came up around his neck, keeping him close as she turned to find his lips with hers.

When their lips parted, Harm whispered in a husky voice, "Good morning, Beautiful" to the sleepy brown eyes looking at him.

"Good morning to you, too, my handsome husband-to-be," Mac said, but regretting that she'd said it when Harm raised one eyebrow in response.

"Husband would sound better, but I can live with husband-to-be until September," he said with not only a raised eyebrow, but a full flyboy smile.

Harm brought his lips to hers and, knowing that the way that she'd addressed him hadn't upset him as she'd first thought, she relaxed in his arms. However, as his tongue sought entrance to her mouth, the alarm buzzed, forcing him to break their kiss.

Harm rolled to his back in order to stretch out his arm to shut off the offending noise. He wasn't sure if, when he'd rolled over, he'd brought her with him or if she'd rolled over on her own, but whichever the case, when he went to roll back to her, he found that she was now on her side with her hand on his chest and looking at him.

"Do you know what I'm going to dislike more than going to bed without you tonight?" Mac said softly. Harm shook his head in a negative response. "Waking up without you here," she whispered before her lips claimed his.

He knew exactly what she meant because he felt the same way, and the thought of not being able to hold her tonight caused him to tighten his hold on her now.

Mac responded to his tighter hold by deepening their kiss, which only added to his desire.

In their passionate kisses, gentle caresses and tender loving of each other, they not only fulfilled their physical needs, but communicated the strength of their commitment to each other no matter the distance that would soon separate them again.

After lovemaking, there was little time to rest in each other arms because the day outside of the bedroom had to begin.

It was his last day to enjoy his role as husband and dad, so Harm was the first one to get out of bed this morning in order to cook breakfast for his "girls". After he took a quick shower, he slipped into jeans and a shirt before leaving the bedroom to let Mac get ready for work while he made breakfast.

As he began to prepare breakfast, Harm thought that he heard a knock on the door, but it was so light that he wasn't sure. So he went to the door to check and found that Mattie had knocked.

"I didn't want to just come in..." There was a blush on her cheeks as she finished, "...in case you and Mac were busy."

Harm stood aside, making a sweeping motion with his arm for her to come in. "We _are_ busy. She's getting dressed for work, and I'm making breakfast."

"I didn't mean that kind of busy," Mattie said with a grin.

"I know what you meant," Harm replied, shaking his head. "How did you sleep?" he asked, changing the subject.

Since all three of them were able to sit down to breakfast together, everyone was smiling as they devoured Harm's pancake breakfast.

After breakfast, Mac had to leave for work. She'd taken off yesterday for the hearing, but, with the ensign's case going to trial soon, she didn't have the luxury of taking off another day.

With Mac gone for the day, Harm explained to Mattie that their job for today was going to be interviewing three people for a job as her aide.

"I don't need a baby-sitter," Mattie snapped.

"I know, and we aren't interviewing for a baby-sitter. We're seeing people who are qualified to aid you while Mac and Jennifer are at work and who could take you to and from therapy or doctor's appointments if Mac's schedule keeps her from being able to do it," Harm responded calmly, avoiding the use of terms such as caregiver or nurse to keep from upsetting Mattie any further.

Mattie knew that he was still talking about basically getting her a baby-sitter, but she was glad that he was trying to protect her pride, so she let him off the hook, asking only one more question. "If this person is going to be _my_ aide, do I get a say in who you hire?"

"You do, but you'd better have a better reason than he's cute to support your choice," Harm answered.

Mattie grinned. "You mean there's a male candidate on the list?"

"I don't know. The second appointment is a Chris Mitchell. It could be Chris as in Christine or Christopher," Harm stated, not liking the gleam in Mattie's eye at the prospect of meeting a new guy and hoping that, if it was a guy, he was old or ugly or, better yet, both.

The first interviewee was well-qualified, but arrived ten minutes late for their appointment.

Harm was relived when appointment number two was Chris, as in Christine. She was young and lacked the experience of the first woman, but she'd been five minutes early. However, she wouldn't be able to start in the position for a week when the other two could begin tomorrow.

The third interviewee was in the middle in both age and experience, but Mattie seemed to connect with her the best, making her the forerunner for the job.

All three interviews were over by one o'clock and, by three, Harm and Mattie had discussed the three candidates, and Harm was on the phone calling the candidate who he and Mattie had been able to agree on to offer her the position. By 1515, Mattie had an aide.

Harm had the chance to play 'dad' all day. He made sure that Mattie took her muscle relaxant, made her lunch and had her rest on the couch where he could keep an eye on her between interviews. Once they'd made a decision about the choice in Mattie's aide, Harm had walked with her to Coates' place so that she could take a nap in her room on a bed.

While Mattie napped, Harm packed his bag and put it in the rental car since the time for him to leave was getting close. He'd be able to have dinner with them, but then he'd have to leave for the airport.

It wasn't long before Mac called to tell Harm that she was on her way home. He couldn't believe that the day had gone by so quickly that it was time for him to start dinner.

Mac was in the hall outside her apartment door and about to open it when she heard Jennifer's voice.

"Ma'am, I'm glad that I caught up with you," Coates said, stepping out of the elevator.

Jennifer approached Mac with a slip of paper in her hand. "I know that Harm is leaving in a few hours, so I thought that you might want to discuss this with him before he leaves," Jennifer said before handing Mac the piece of paper.

On it was a list of the three potential wedding places from Mattie's notebook, followed by dates in mid to late September when they were available. Also listed was whether or not they had a reception hall and, if they did, the available September dates for that.

"I know that you probably have other things to talk about before Harm leaves tonight, but I'd be happy to call and make the reservations for you when you've decided on a place," Jennifer offered.

"Thank you, Jennifer. I'll talk to Harm and, if we can decide tonight, I'll let you know."

"Your welcome, ma'am...and, Colonel, since you know that you are going to San Diego now..."

"Yes, Jennifer, I'm still planning to take you...unless you've changed your mind."

"No, ma'am. Thank you. Tell Harm I said that I hope he has a safe trip. Good night, Colonel."

"I'll tell him, and good night, Jennifer."

With Jennifer at her own apartment door, Mac opened the door to her apartment.

"Hey, glad you're home. Dinner's ready," Harm said as he pulled a pan out of the oven.

Without a dining room table, Harm, Mattie and Mac gathered around the coffee table to eat dinner together.

Over dinner, Harm and Mattie filled Mac in on the aide whom they'd hired who Mac would meet when the woman started work tomorrow morning. After hearing about their day, Mac showed Harm and Mattie the list that Jennifer had given her in the hall and, by the time dinner was over, a place and date for the wedding had been decided. Since Mac had to be in court tomorrow, she'd take Jennifer up on her offer to help by having her call to book the place for them.

With dinner over and the dishes cleared, it was time for Harm to leave. Mattie and Harm gave each other a hug and said their goodbyes. Then Mattie said that she wanted to say hi to Jennifer. Harm knew that she was just giving him and Mac time to say goodbye.

Once the door had closed behind Mattie, Harm gave Mac a quick peck of a kiss before he spoke. "I hope that, after we're married, they quickly find a new duty station for me. I'm getting tired of feeling like I just said hello before I have to say goodbye," he said, taking Mac into his arms.

"I know what you mean," Mac said before they kissed again, this time with a little more gusto.

"Have Jennifer email me to confirm that she's booked the chapel. Once I get her email, I'll request leave for the wedding and honeymoon," Harm said when their kiss came to a natural close and their lips parted.

"Honeymoon, that sounds nice. Do you know where we're going yet?" Mac asked.

"Me?" Harm questioned.

"Yes, you! Your book says that it's your job to take care of the honeymoon," Mac informed him.

"It does?" Harm said, sounding surprised. He guessed that he hadn't read that far yet. "No problem then. I'll take care of it."

After one more kiss and a hug, Mac let him go. "Time for you to go or you'll never make it in time. I love you. See you in September."

"I love you. See you in September," Harm echoed with a small smile, not because he was leaving, but because the next time he saw her it would be to marry her.

Within moments, Harm was out the door, and Mac moved to the window to watch him get into the car.

At the sound of the door opening thirty seconds later, Mac was hopeful that it was Harm returning, but it wasn't him. It was Mattie.

"I heard him leave. Can you see his car from there?" Mattie asked.

Mac nodded, and soon Mattie was at her side. Mac slipped an arm around Mattie's shoulders as they watched Harm get into the car and drive away.

Watching his car leave was hard for Mattie, but not as hard as when he'd left her at the hospital because, this time, she was with Mac and Jennifer, two people she liked and Harm trusted.

Mac watched as the taillights of his Harm's rental car rounded the corner and disappeared. She missed him already, but she had Mattie to keep her company, and that helped.

Mac was also drawing comfort from knowing that, the next time Harm came to town, it would be for their wedding, which, if the chapel and reception hall were still available when Jennifer called tomorrow, would take place on September 17th, 2005.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER FIVE - HOW WE BECAME US**

**PART ONE – Countdown, Two Days to Go **

**THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2005 **

**MAC'S OFFICE **

**JAG HQ**

**FALLS CHURCH, VA**

**EARLY MORNING **

Mac had met Julia, Mattie's aide, the morning after Harm had left. Even though, for the most part, Mattie had been able to care for herself, Mac had found herself worrying about Mattie and had called during every recess from court for the first few days, but after that, she'd started to relax, knowing that Julia was there with her. However, even without worrying about Mattie every minute, Mac's life had been thrown into complete chaos from the moment a date had been set for the wedding.

Wedding planning generally doesn't go smoothly for a variety of reasons, and Harm and Mac's wedding was no exception. The first and biggest hurdle came early in the process when Mac received a call informing her that, due to an error in booking, they couldn't hold the wedding and reception at their originally chosen venue. Mac turned to the list in Mattie's book for the other options and made some calls. Their second choice was now booked, and the third place was available for the reception, but not the wedding. Mac consulted with Harm and started calling any place that had facilities, but had no luck. Mac was at her wits end and thinking that being unable to find a location was some sort of sign that the marriage was doomed when, through divine intervention of sorts, the problem was solved. Chaplain Turner had come to JAG HQ to see his son and, by fate of the timing of his visit, had heard about the problem. He'd made a call and, within a few minutes, they'd had a location, the Naval Academy Chapel at Annapolis. Then, as if he hadn't done enough already by securing a location, Chaplain Turner had offered to officiate, which Mac had graciously accepted.

With a location for the wedding ceremony secured, there were a number of places where a reception could be held, and after careful consideration of the options, Mac made a call and reserved a site for their reception, as well.

As for the dress, Mac had decided to go with the dress that she'd seen months ago, making that one of the easiest parts of the wedding preparation process. Mattie had accompanied her two days ago to her final fitting so that she could see the dress, and the dress had been moved to Jennifer's apartment last night to keep it away from Harm's prying eyes when he arrived later today.

After the problem with the location, Mac wasn't sure that she'd be able to plan both the wedding and reception on her own and maintain her sanity, especially without Harm there to assist her, so she decided to take Harriet and Jennifer up on their offers to help by inviting them to join her and Mattie for a pizza dinner to discuss plans and delegate tasks.

With Harriet's experience in putting together shows and fundraisers, she quickly became more than just a Matron of Honor. She took charge and, for all practical purposes, became Harm and Mac's wedding planner, with Jennifer and Mattie as her staff.

Many decisions were made during that pizza dinner, but a few things were left up in the air. For example, when it came to flowers, Mac had said that she didn't have a clue as to what she wanted except in the area of her bouquet and arrangements at the altar. They needed to contain mostly roses because roses were meaningful to her and Harm.

A week later, Harriet and Mattie had located a florist and, with the information that they'd given him, the three ladies had gone to view the samples for Mac's approval. Mac hadn't known exactly what she wanted, but the minute she saw the sample arrangements, she knew that they were perfect. Mac had thought that that was the end of that, but three weeks ago, during a lunch break from court, she'd received a call from the florist saying that roses would be out of the question at the price quoted, and he'd suggested that they meet to view possibilities for new flower arrangements. Mac had called Harriet to arrange for them to go meet with the florist, but Harriet had said that she'd call, get more information and make an appointment if it was still necessary. By the time Mac had gotten out of court for the day, Harriet had left a message that the florist had been taken care of and that the original flowers would be delivered as promised for the quoted price. Mac had wondered what Harriet had done to change his mind, but, at the same time, she hadn't wanted to know. She was just glad that Harriet was on her side.

The caterer and food for the reception had been another area where Harriet had been a godsend. Harriet arranged for a tasting session, and all Mac had to do was show up and make the final decision on the menu after spending an hour and a half nibbling on samples.

Cake tasting and selection was the one thing that Mattie had seemed to be excited about, and Mac had no problem with letting her take part in the selection. However, Mattie hadn't been happy about picking out a dress to wear to the wedding. Mattie's excuse for not wanting a new dress was that she really didn't like to get dressed up. Mac didn't believe that to be the reason, but didn't push Mattie for the real reason. However, Jennifer had supplied Mac with the real reason the next day at the office. Even though Mattie was walking well, her confidence level and her self esteem still hadn't risen to a pre-accident level. To put it in the simplest terms, Mattie felt awkward and unattractive. That reason sounded much more plausible to Mac, and she came up with two ideas that she thought would help. One, Mattie now had to have a great dress, not just a pretty one, and two, Mac thought that having someone who Mattie knew well might make things easier for Mattie, so Mac asked Jennifer if she knew any more about the boy, Kevin, who Mattie was crazy about in Blacksburg.

A wedding, a honeymoon and a hearing on Mattie's permanent custody were all happening in the next couple of weeks and, if those weren't enough, there was her transfer and move across the country. Why had she agreed to a wedding between assignments? She must have been out of her mind!

The hectic atmosphere of wedding planning had also been interrupted during the past three months for prayers of thanks.

Mattie had indeed gone back to crutches at her next doctor's appointment, and she'd been doing so well that, thirty days later, she'd been allowed to upgrade to a cane. Mattie had some short term memory lapses, but, overall, she'd been doing very well. When the doctors had heard about all the changes in Mattie's life, they'd wondered if her memory lapses had more to do with the stress in her life than with any injuries. Harm was proud of her progress, but Mattie had a surprise for him when he came home.

Another opportunity for thanks also came in July. The news that bombs had exploded in the London TUBE system had caused hours of worry for Harm's family and friends. The worry had quickly been forgotten and focus had been back on the wedding after Mac had finally been able to get in touch with Harm. He hadn't been near the TUBE system at the time and was fine.

Perhaps Mac was the only one who'd said a word of thanks in mid August when Harm had called to say that he was back in London after his flight quals and he'd see her in a few weeks for their wedding.

Mac had stacks of files on her desk. Most of them were finished cases that needed to be sent to central filing. A couple of them were ones that she'd presided over at the end of last week, and she needed to finish reports so that they could go to General Cresswell for his final review. The stacks had purpose, but it made her feel like she wasn't going to get done today.

Mac had ridden in with Jennifer this morning because Harm was renting a car at the airport. Mac would be starting her leave time once she got through these files, and her leave would last until October 5th when she'd be reporting to her new command. She expected Harm to arrive at JAG HQ near lunchtime, if his plane arrived on time and traffic wasn't too bad. He was coming here because, once she was on leave, they were going to go get their marriage license.

**JAG HQ **

**FALLS CHURCH, VA**

**MID-DAY **

As he approached the building that housed JAG Headquarters, Harm stopped for a moment, taking in the familiar sights, sounds and smells of the place. As he stood there, he let his mind reflect for a moment. If someone were to write a book about the life of Harmon Rabb, Jr., it should be written in two volumes. Volume one would be about the boy who'd become a man too soon by searching for his father in a place where most men were afraid to go. The first volume would end with the 'death' of his career as a naval aviator on the deck of a carrier many years later. The second volume would begin here, where his next career had been born and through which he'd meet the woman who'd capture his heart.

Nervousness had filled him yesterday, making it hard for him to sleep last night or on the plane this morning. He was sure that grooms who'd gone before him would understand - he was getting married in two days! He was marrying a woman whom, at one time, he'd come to believe would never be his. He loved her so much that it scared him at times and invigorated him at others. His thoughts of Mac and their future caused a surge of energy to course through him, and he pulled the door open to enter the building with renewed excitement.

As he came out of the elevator and entered the bullpen area, he scanned the space for familiar faces while his eyes made a path to see if Mac was in her office. The door was shut and the office was dark. Mac wasn't in. She was expecting him, so he knew that she'd be back. His eyes moved away from her office and towards his old one. The nameplate above the door read: Lt. Commander Bud Roberts. His eyes then darted to Bud's old office. The nameplate over Bud's old office read: Lt. Gregory Vukovic. Reading the guy's name made him queasy. He'd worked with him only once, but he really didn't like the guy. Of course, if he were questioned about his opinion of the guy, it would center on scuttlebutt, the rumors after the JAG conference in San Diego, to be more precise. The rumor that Vukovic had made a play for Mac there fueled most of his dislike.

Out of the corner of his eye, movement caught his attention. It was Bud asking Lt. Douglas, whom he'd met at the Roberts' cookout, to do a records search and several other pre-trial tasks. Listening to Bud's requests reminded Harm of the times when he'd asked Bud for the same type of help…it seemed so long ago. The activity in the bullpen reminded Harm of his days of investigations and courtroom battles. The memory of the excitement of investigations and the drama of courtroom battles saddened Harm a little. He liked the feeling of accomplishment that achieving the rank of captain and having his own command gave him. The staffing decisions that he'd made and his command style seem to be a perfect fit, and his command was running smoother than anyone had expected, including himself, but he missed the 'rush' that he got in the courtroom.

Harm was still reconciling his achievements with his losses when a familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts. It was Bud letting him know that Mac was upstairs and should be back in a few minutes. Bud invited Harm into his office to wait for Mac.

Mac had passed Bud's office on her way back to hers, but since his door had been closed, she'd had no idea that the person with whom Bud was speaking wasn't a client, but rather her sailor, so she'd proceeded to her office. Harm would be here soon, and she had a few things to finish up.

In Bud's office, he and Harm talked about Mattie, Harriet, his kids and the upcoming wedding. Harm made sure to thank Bud for his assistance in getting Mac's uncle permission to travel to the wedding from the probation department. Bud was trying not to burst with pride that Harm had chosen him as his Best Man. Bud and Harm visited for about twenty minutes before duty called Bud away, and Harm went to see if Mac was back in her office yet.

**MAC'S OFFICE**

Mac had her head down, concentrating on proofreading the report that she was adding to the last file folder. Harm rapped lightly on the doorframe.

"Enter," Mac replied without looking up.

Harm decided to see how engrossed she was in her reading. "Ma'am, do you have the wedding file?"

She was in lawyer mode and didn't look up, but grabbed at a stack of file folders. "I don't remember being assigned the wed…" Her voice trailed off as the recognition of his voice caught in her head. She lifted her eyes to see Harm standing in front of her desk.

He smiled down at her. "You don't remember being assigned the wedding case? I must be in the wrong place then."

Mac smiled. He looked good in uniform, but he was looking mighty fine in his jeans and shirt at the moment. His voice pulled her out of her thoughts of how good he looked.

"It doesn't look like you're ready yet. I was hoping to grab some lunch. My stomach is on London time and it's almost dinnertime there, and I haven't had lunch yet," Harm stated at seeing the stack of files on her desk.

"I got a snack earlier. Why don't you get something from the cafeteria? I'm almost done here. I shouldn't be too much longer."

They smiled at each other, and Harm nodded in agreement at her suggestion. The desire to be close enough to embrace or kiss was evident to both of them as they looked into each other's eyes.

**CAFETERIA**

Sturgis approached Harm as he sat eating his lunch. Harm asked Sturgis why he hadn't taken his old office. Sturgis first joked that it was because the office had 'bad vibes' before explaining that he'd be moving into the colonel's office when it became vacant. Harm appreciated Sturgis' father's help in securing the new location for the wedding and agreeing to officiate, and he communicated that to Sturgis. Harm knew from the email discussions with Mac about her old apartment what some of the answers might be, but, as a means to reconnect with his old friend, he asked about Varese. Sturgis made a few wise cracks about Harm's end of bachelor status, and Harm returned fire with a jab or two that, from what he'd heard, Sturgis would be the next bachelor to fall. The two men who'd been friends and had become rivals were now having a friendly chat and a laugh or two. Harm wondered which one of them had changed. Maybe it was a combination of both. It was soon time for Sturgis to return to work, and Harm said that he'd go up with him to see what was taking Mac so long.

**JAG OPS**

When Harm reached the bullpen, he saw a petty officer in Mac's doorway, removing a couple of boxes from her office, and heard Mac's voice from inside. "Those boxes go to central filing."

The petty officer acknowledged her instructions and left. Harm moved into the doorway to see that Mac's desk was clear except for a box of personal items with her uniform lying crumpled across the top. She'd changed into civilian clothes and was now wearing gray slacks and a light blue blouse. He moved closer to her, and they greeted each other with a short, sweet kiss.

"Is this everything?" he asked, looking at the box on her desk.

"Yes," she said as she took one last look around the room.

He reached for the box. "Then let's go."

They crossed the bullpen with her hand grasping his elbow. Leaving today was easier for her than the last time that she'd had orders to report to San Diego. The last time, she'd felt as if she were leaving her life behind. This time, she felt as if she were heading towards the life that she'd always dreamed about.

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

**EARLY EVENING **

Mac had begun packing, and boxes were stacked around the apartment. Mac and Harm entered the apartment one after the other. Harm was carrying the box from her office, and Mac was carrying their marriage license and a bag of Chinese food for dinner. Once they'd cleared the threshold, they moved to put down their loads.

They'd held hands on and off since he'd picked her up at JAG and they'd shared a couple of brief kisses in the car, suitable for a public place, but they were now alone behind closed doors, so he moved quickly to a place behind her.

Mac was at the counter, putting down the bag of Chinese food. She was going to turn to ask him to go get Mattie while she got out some plates, but before she could, she felt Harm's breath on the back of her neck. She turned slowly as she felt his arms wrap around her. Once in his embrace, their lips found their way to each other in a kiss that was both loving and passionate. When their lips parted, she leaned against him, relishing in the moment of togetherness. It was a short lived moment, however, because a tap on the door a second later warned that they'd no longer be alone. The door swung open. "I told Julia that I'd heard you come home."

Harm released Mac to both of their dismay, though he was glad to see Mattie. Mattie had taken several steps into the apartment before Harm realized that she was walking without using anything for support. When she reached him, unlike the awkwardness of their first hug, his arms went around her immediately. Harm was so overcome with emotion that he closed his eyes and, for a moment, he was speechless.

Mac knew that Harm was holding back tears of joy at seeing his daughter walking again and felt as if she were invading on a very private moment, so she moved to close the door that the excited teenager had left open. After she'd closed the door, Mac turned around, and his eyes met hers.

"You knew about this, MacKenzie?"

"She wanted to surprise you, so I didn't tell," Mac replied.

He gave Mattie another brief squeeze before pulling back and looking down at her. "I'm so proud of you."

With the hug broken, Mattie was standing at Harm's side and added more information. "I've been using the cane less and less. The doctor says that he wants me to take it with me to school, the mall, you know, places where I might be walking a lot, but I haven't been using the cane here at the two apartments in weeks."

He and Mac both got choked up when Mattie thanked them for being there for her when she needed someone the most. Mattie was choked up too as she hugged Mac first and then Harm.

Mac watched as Harm and Mattie hugged. Seeing the paternal side of him was a double-edged sword. Her heart felt joy that he was the right man to father her child, but her heart was also weighed down by sadness that the odds were slim that it would ever happen for them.

Mac took a deep breath. She'd informed him of their chances of having a child, and he'd said that it was okay. She needed to quit thinking about it, enjoy the fact that he was home and be happy that they were going to be married in two days.

"We should eat our dinner before it gets cold," Mac declared before excusing herself to go next door to let Julia know that she was home and that she could go for the day.

When Mac returned to the apartment, she settled down with Harm and Mattie to eat dinner.

As they ate, the topics ranged from how Mattie liked Julia to questions about Harm's parents, who were arriving tomorrow, and Mac's uncle, who was also flying in tomorrow.

Mattie couldn't resist discussing the wedding either, but this time it wasn't a review of the order of events. No, this time, she started relating stories that she'd seen on a television show about wedding disasters. Harm looked to Mac to see if Mattie's ramblings about what could go wrong were bothering her. Mac commented that she wasn't worried about the wedding plans going off smoothly because, if they could get away from poachers in the middle of nowhere, she was sure that they could get through the wedding no matter what happened. Mac's comment led to the telling of the story about being chased by poaches after having to put down Harm's plane because of a fuel line problem.

Once the dishes were cleared, there was a discussion about tomorrow's schedule before they began to watch a movie, the night's planned entertainment.

About halfway through the movie, Mattie noticed that Harm was yawning and excused herself by saying, "I've watched this movie before with Jen, and if I'm going to meet my new relatives tomorrow, I'd better get some sleep." After a round of hugs and goodnights, Harm walked to the door with Mattie and watched from the doorway until she was safely inside the apartment that she shared with Jennifer.

Mac made her way up to the bedroom while Harm was at the door watching over Mattie.

Harm's dress whites were hanging up and his bags were next to the bed. He'd apparently come by the apartment before he'd come to pick her up at the office. Not thinking about Harm being in the apartment, she began to undress for bed.

When Harm came up the steps, his eyes were delighted by the sight of Mac standing next to the bed in just her bra and panties. Sensing his eyes on her, she turned to face him. "I was getting ready for bed. I should have changed in the bathroom."

"You could sleep in what you have on...or in nothing at all."

His gaze was making her weak in the knees. He was moving towards her.

"Thought you were tired, Sailor," she said breathlessly.

He embraced her as his lips claimed hers. She responded to the intense kiss and, when his tongue slid across her lower lip, her lips parted involuntarily, and soon their tongues were dancing inside her mouth. The kiss decreased in intensity and the pressure of his lips on hers began to ease until their lips were no longer touching, but his face was still close to hers when he whispered, "Unless you have some kind of pre-nuptial rule..." His eyebrow rose. "...I'm not too tired."

Her lips missed the warmth of his, and his hand on her back felt as if it were burning its imprint on her. They hadn't seen each other in three months, and she wanted him. Her arms went up around his neck.

"I believe the superstition or tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding applies to only the night before the ceremony." Mac managed to utter the entire sentence before hers lips met his in steamy kiss.

At the end of the steamy kiss, she took off his shirt, and, during the next kiss, a flick of his wrist released the clasp of her bra. It wouldn't take long for their love and the time apart to have them out of their clothing and making love before settling into each other's arms and allowing themselves to succumb to the sleep that they both needed.


	35. Chapter 35

**PART TWO – Countdown, One Day to Go **

**FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Mac started to stir. She was still in a sleepy haze when she opened her eyes. She had a clear view of the steps and, just as her eyes were able to focus, she saw Harm, fully dressed, approaching the bed and carrying a tray. She sat up, trying to see if she could eye what was on the tray.

"Good morning. I was beginning to think that you were going to sleep all day. I brought you breakfast. If memory serves, you expect a guy to make you breakfast after you've spent the night." He smiled. Telling the story last night about being chased by poachers through the woods had brought the event and the conversations that they'd had on that trip to the forefront of his mind.

After she was sitting up comfortably, Harm lowered the tray across her lap and bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"I believe your memory is still sound. As for sleeping all day, I think the time change between London and Washington has your clock a bit off. We'll see if you're the first one up when you've been in my time zone for a few days." She was smiling and teasing him, and he liked it. She looked down at the breakfast that he'd brought her: juice, coffee, some sliced fruit, half a bagel and some cream cheese.

"It may not have anything to do with time zones. I could be up early because I'm feeling very good today. You see, I'm getting married tomorrow."

Mac put an indigent tone in her voice. "Well, I think you should've mentioned that fact last night. I'm not sure that I appreciate being your last fling, and I don't think that your bride would like it that you spent last night here with me either."

She could tell by the look in his eyes he was going to tease her back.

"You may be right. This might upset her, but I saw that ring on your finger. I don't suppose that he'd be happy that you spent the night with me either." He paused and watched her take a sip of juice. "I'll tell you what, since they're probably both going to be upset, why don't you and I just marry instead?"

She moved the tray off the bed and set it on the floor. She snaked her arms up around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. His arms went around her, and he pulled her close to him. Then she abruptly ended the kiss and pulled away with a look of panic on her face.

"Mac, what is it?"

"I didn't sleep the day away, but I slept through getting Mattie's breakfast and her off to school."

"Relax and eat your breakfast." He reached for the tray to put it back over her lap. "I fixed Mattie and Jennifer breakfast and, in exchange for breakfast, Jennifer volunteered to take Mattie to school in case there were any last minute things that we needed to do before our out of town guests arrived." He paused and then continued, "Over breakfast, Mattie told me the story about you registering her for school and that she hadn't been too happy about it."

"No, she wasn't. I'm surprised that she didn't tell you before this morning," Mac said as she began to eat.

"I don't think she mentioned it before because she knew that you were right. She was just trying to see what you'd let her get away with. From the story this morning, I understand that her argument was that, if we get permanent custody, then she'll be in school for less than a month before she moves. She said that you countered with the fact that, if she wasn't in school, the court might not give us custody because we weren't seeing to her education. Nice job."

"Thanks," Mac replied with a smile as she took a sip of her hot coffee. The smile that Mac had displayed was gone when she lowered her coffee cup and shifted her gaze to the tray on her lap. "Do you think that we'll ever have a baby?" she questioned out of the blue in a soft voice.

He knew that he needed to be sensitive to her feelings about this and he was trying to form an answer that would do that and echo what he'd said before. While he was forming the answer in his head, another thought struck him. He'd always been so careful in the past, providing his own protection if he couldn't be sure that the woman in question was using something. With Mac, he'd never asked. If she'd become pregnant the last time they were together, she should know by now because it had been three months. Asking Mac now if she were trying to prevent pregnancy wouldn't really be about prevention, but rather about wanting to know if last night held any possibility of pregnancy. Unsure of how she'd view the question, he asked in a tentative voice, "Are you doing anything to prevent…?"

Mac eyes widened in surprise, not by the question, but by what her answer was. Even when she'd been married before and engaged to Mic, she'd always taken precautions. She'd been so careful in the past. If there'd been any doubt that she'd forgotten to take her pill, she'd made certain that a condom was used as a backup.

"No, I'm not. I _never_ eventhought about it because I was with you," Mac replied, noting that her answer sounded more like a confession. Even though she hadn't given the subject any thought until he'd just asked, in a way, she supposed that she was confessing since she wasn't sorry that she hadn't been trying to prevent becoming pregnant with his child.

"That's why I didn't ask sooner...I was with you. I want a child with you…" Harm began, and Mac knew that he understood that she really wasn't trying to get pregnant before they got married, but that she would've been happy if it had happened. "…and if it can't be the old fashioned way, when you're ready, we'll find out what our options are. I think, when the time is right, it'll happen." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

She moved her breakfast tray to the floor again. In her mind, his words were so close to the ones in her dream that she knew that she could really put her concerns about not being able to give him a child to rest once and for all. After placing the tray on the floor, she sat up, slid her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. "Maybe we can practice. You know what they say...practice makes perfect, and having a baby with you would make my life...perfect."

He managed to get out "mine too" before her lips covered his, and soon the clothes that he had on were in a pile on the floor.

After lovemaking, they cuddled together and enjoyed a few minutes of quiet time until Mac's internal clock alerted her that she could put off getting out of bed no longer because she had an errand to run.

As Mac dressed, she explained to Harm about the deal that she'd made with Mattie. Mattie hadn't wanted to go to school today, and Mac could understand that, between Harm being here and out of town guests arriving, the pre-wedding excitement would be building all day to the rehearsal and dinner afterward, and Mattie hadn't wanted to miss any part of it. However, Mattie had a quiz to take in the first hour and an oral presentation to make in her speech class during her second hour of school, so Mac had made a deal with Mattie that, if she went for those two hours, she'd spring her early so that she could spend some time with Harm and take a short nap before the rest of the day's events began, and Mattie had agreed to the terms.

Once showered and dressed, Mac headed for the door. She looked back at Harm, who'd slipped on only his pants when he'd gotten up. "You'd better shower and get dressed, or your mother might figure out what you've been up to this morning." Mac giggled, but it turned into a laugh when she caught the blush on Harm's cheeks.

Harm moved towards her at the door. "Hey, you forgot something. You try to embarrass a guy and then you don't give him a goodbye kiss?"

After a quick smooch, Mac left to pick up Mattie.

**ABOUT 45 MINUTES LATER...**

When Mac and Mattie entered the apartment, Mattie called out, "Harm," but there was no answer.

A moment later, Harm came down from the bedroom, waving a piece of paper in the air. "Mac, you left your list behind. Do you need to go back out to get some of this done?"

Mac looked towards Mattie. "That list is a checklist of things that I need to do tomorrow before the wedding, so this is Harm's way of getting us to ask what he's done on his list while I was gone."

Mattie obliged. "Harm, you asked Mac about her list, but did you do anything on your list?"

"I did two things on my list and two that weren't. From the list, I double checked my dress whites to make sure that they were wedding day perfect and I made sure that I knew where Mac's ring was."

"You may have checked off the uniform item today, but it shouldn't really count for something you did _today_. You had your uniform hung up and inspected before we got home yesterday. So let's hear what you did today, Flyboy."

"It wasn't on the list, but I cleaned up the breakfast mess and talked to my mom. She called to say that their plane was in and they were waiting for their luggage. Once they got the rental car, they'd be on their way." Harm checked his watch. "Based on the time that I talked to them and the time it is now, I'd say that they'll be here soon."

The exchange between them was fun for Mattie to watch. As words were exchanged between them, the looks that they gave each other and the tone they used made Mattie feel like they were having a completely different conversation on some other plane of the universe where only the two of them existed.

After the brief banter with Harm, Mac found that it was time for her to leave again. However, she didn't try to leave the apartment this time until after she'd given Harm a little 'goodbye' kiss on the cheek.

After Mac left, Harm and Mattie had about ten minutes to talk before there was a knock on the door. Harm answered the door to find that it was his mom and Frank. Trish was so happy that her son was getting married tomorrow that she hugged him before even attempting to enter the apartment. After both Trish and Frank had made it through the door, Harm began the introductions.

"Mattie, these are my parents, Trish and Frank Burnett. Mom and Frank, this is Mattie."

"It's good to finally meet you, Mattie," Frank said before giving Mattie a brief hug.

Trish echoed her husband's sentiment and hugged Mattie as well.

"Darling, where's Mac?" Trish inquired.

"She's on her way to the airport to pick up her uncle. She'll be here in time for lunch," Harm replied.

The grandparents asked Mattie about how she liked school, if she liked the beach and other generic questions. After Mattie had called Frank Mr. Burnett several times, he asked Mattie to call him Frank, and Trish added that she should call her Trish as well. When they asked her how she was feeling and doing, Harm got to brag about how well she was doing and told them about his surprise. The use of first names seemed to ease tensions some, but there were awkward moments of silence as they tried to fill the next hour with conversation.

An hour almost to the minute after his parents had arrived, Harriet arrived. Harriet had picked up a couple of party platters from a local restaurant for lunch for the incoming guests.

Harm thought that it was probably to get a little space from his parents more than to be helpful when Mattie volunteered to help Harriet set up for lunch. When Harriet mentioned the lack of a table, and Mattie suggested that they use her and Jennifer's apartment, which had counter space and a table, Harm was sure that Mattie had had enough of her new grandparents. Harriet thought that it was a wonderful idea - guests in one apartment and food in the other. So the food trays were quickly moved to the other apartment, leaving Harm in the apartment with his parents.

Harm waited a polite minute or two before he excused himself to check on lunch. He returned a minute later. "They said that I could help by staying here until they announced that lunch was ready."

Frank snorted, "Sounds like something your mother would say to me."

Harm smiled as he sat down, prepared to be questioned about either Mattie or Mac now that it was just the three of them, but it didn't happen. He'd just taken a seat when the door opened. Mac was back with Uncle Matt. After introductions of the Burnetts and Uncle Matt had been made, Mac asked where Mattie was. Once she'd been told that Mattie was helping Harriet set up lunch in her and Jen's apartment, Mac took her uncle over to meet Mattie. Moments later, Harriet tapped lightly on the door before opening it.

"Lunch is ready."

A leisurely lunch was enjoyed by all. After lunch was over, Mac pulled Mattie aside and reminded her of their agreement...if she picked Mattie up from school early, then Mattie had promised to rest for a little while before the afternoon kicked everyone into high gear.

Harriet and Trish were going to restore Jennifer and Mattie's apartment to its pre-lunch state of order, while Harm and Mac loaded Mac's luggage into the SUV that Frank had rented. Frank knew that there'd be goodbyes between the couple that he didn't want to witness or rush, so he tossed Harm the keys to the rental. He looked over at Mac's uncle and said that they'd stay to 'supervise' the lunch clean up. Frank and Matt sat on the couch and talked while the ladies got the apartment back in shape.

Once Harm and Mac had closed the door to his apartment behind them, Harm pulled her into his arms and administered a tender kiss. The kiss came to a natural close, and he pulled back.

"For the record, I'm not thrilled with this spending the night alone idea tonight."

"I told you the other day that the superstition is for the night before the wedding. You don't want to risk having to ask yourself someday, 'what if we hadn't spent the night together, would it have worked,' do you?"

"I can stay on my side of the bed," Harm said with a grin.

Mac's eyes lit with a mischievous sparkle. "But I can't...not anymore."

Harm smiled, and she kissed him before bringing their focus back to getting her bags from the bedroom to load into the car.

After the clean-up was complete in Jennifer and Mattie's apartment and the SUV was loaded, it was time to put the afternoon plan in motion. Mac, her uncle, Trish and Frank were all going to check into the hotel where they'd be staying the night. Mattie was going to ride with them to the hotel and to the chapel, but she'd be coming back with Harm after the rehearsal and dinner this evening. Harriet was going home to get AJ, her son, and wait for Bud to get home. Bud, Sturgis and Jennifer were all getting off work a little early to have time to change before attending the rehearsal at the chapel. Harm was to make the next run to the airport to pick up Chloe before joining the rest of the group at the chapel for the rehearsal. Chloe had started her freshman year in college a few weeks ago, so she'd had to wait until after she'd attended class today before she could fly down for the wedding. With Mac having made one trip to the airport and Mac's uncle not knowing anyone other than Mac and Harm, Harriet had assigned Harm to make the airport run to pick up Chloe.

**CHAPEL AT ANNAPOLIS**

**TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER**

Chloe's plane arrived fifteen minutes late, so Harm and Chloe were the last to arrive at the chapel. Harriet conducted the rehearsal with all the control of a professional wedding planner. She went through everything, step by step. Harriet even had the order of the ceremony typed out on sheets to hand to the participants to study tonight and in the morning. Harriet had never seen Mac happier than she'd been that night at McMurphy's, and she expected nothing less than military precision from the wedding party to make sure that Mac's wedding day was perfect.

**HOTEL CAPRI**

**PRIVATE DINING ROOM**

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Harriet's drive to make tomorrow run without a hitch for Mac had caused the rehearsal to run long, and that had resulted in the group arriving about ten minutes late for their dinner reservation at the hotel.

The hotel where they were staying tonight was the location of the reception tomorrow and the dinner for the wedding participants tonight.

By the time they arrived at the hotel, Chloe had persuaded Mac to make a detour to her room to put up her bag, so the two of them were the last ones to join the others at the dinner table. Since they were running a little behind schedule, the first course of dinner was delivered to the table shortly after everyone had arrived.

The group dined on a previously arranged menu before the fun began.

After dinner, glasses were raised to the couple, who sat side by side, with Mattie sitting next to Harm and Chloe sitting next to Mac. Mac's uncle, sitting next to Chloe, called for everyone's attention for the first toast of the evening.

"I met Harm not too long after my niece did. From what I saw of the man who I met that day and have heard about from my niece since, he's a man of integrity and courage. Take care of my niece, or I'll come looking for you." Everyone thought his comments were sweet and felt a little 'ah' feeling inside.

Harm stood. "I will, sir," he uttered while moving behind Mac and Chloe to shake the older man's hand.

Mac smiled at her uncle as he shook Harm's hand.

Frank was the next to speak. "I didn't think that Harm would ever get married. I didn't know that he'd meet a Marine who wasn't only tough enough to tame him for marriage, but one who was smart and in such a pretty package, too. I'll bet that Harm was a goner from the beginning." The guests found his comments to be complimentary to Mac, but they had to laugh at his last remark.

Some comments were more of a "roast" than a toast, but all the guests took a turn saying something about the bride, groom or both. Chloe commented, "I knew that the two of you were in love a long time ago, so what took you so long? Sheesh, I thought that kids weren't supposed to know stuff."

Mattie didn't know what to say, but once Chloe had spoken, she had to say something. "I just want to say that I'm happy for the two of you and I hope that you're married for a long, long time."

The comments from around the table had been a mix of humor and sentiment, so it was hard to know exactly what to say in response. Harm and Mac stood together. Harm had an arm around Mac at the waist. Mac stood at Harm's side and began. They spoke in short bursts, allowing the other to have the next line or two. They were in perfect sync tonight, much like they'd been when announcing their engagement.

"We want to thank all of you for your kind words," Mac started.

"And for those words that weren't so kind, be careful, we outrank most of you in the room," Harm finished. This drew a light chuckle from their guests in response.

"We'd like to thank Harriet, Jennifer and Mattie for all the hard work they did in putting this wedding together," Mac said, acknowledging them. Each one of the ladies stood to accept their applause.

After the applause, Harm reached for Mattie's hand so that she'd remain standing with them.

"We want to thank all of you for your support," Harm added.

Mac was feeling a little teary eyed and leaned into Harm a little. "I'm going to miss all of you more than I can say. Transfers are part of the job, but I've never been closer to a group of people than I am to the people in this room," Mac said sincerely.

"There are people who've told me over the years that I was lucky. I personally never thought that luck had much to do with it. Looking around and seeing the faces of good friends and family while standing between the two most important people in my life..." Mattie's grip on Harm's hand tightened at his remark. "...I don't know whether I should say that I'm lucky or blessed," Harm finished.

"Thank you all for coming, and we'll see you tomorrow," Mac choked out through tears that Harm's words had caused to finally flow.

Immediately after completing her sentence, she turned to Harm, put her arms around him and gave him a squeeze. She looked up at him. "I love you," she whispered.

"Good, because I hear that's an important prerequisite for a happy marriage," he whispered back, pausing before also whispering, "I love you, too."

Their guests came by to shake hands or hug the bride or groom one more time before the big day tomorrow. Once it was down to just the people staying at the hotel, and Harm and Mattie, it was time for Harm and Mac to say good night.

Everyone stepped out of the private dining room to give them a moment. Mac looked at Harm. "I guess this is good night."

"Yeah, did I mention that I'm not fond of this part?" Harm said with longing in his eyes.

"Yeah, you mentioned it. I'm not fond of sleeping alone either, but this gives me time with Chloe and you time with Mattie before the wedding."

"You're right, but I don't have to like it."

"Are you sure that Mattie isn't your biological daughter, because she made a similar statement a couple of weeks ago about the school situation."

"They aren't going to wait out there forever, so we need to say good night," Harm reminded her. 

"Good night," she said as her lips met his in a sweet kiss.

"Good night," he replied and placed another kiss on her lips.

They walked out of the dining room, holding hands and, with one last peck on her cheek, Harm said, "See you tomorrow."

Mac replied, "I'm looking forward to it."

Mac, her uncle, Chloe and Mac's future in-laws turned to go towards the elevators to go to their rooms, while Harm placed a hand on Mattie's shoulder and turned to leave the hotel to head back to their apartments.


	36. Chapter 36

**PART THREE – Wedding Day**

**SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER, 17, 2005**

**CHAPEL AT ANNAPOLIS**

**BRIDE'S ROOM**

**TWO HOURS PRIOR TO THE WEDDING**

Jennifer had arrived early at Mac's hotel to bring the wedding dress that had been purposely left behind yesterday so that Harm wouldn't see it when he and Mac had loaded the car. Jennifer hadn't left Mac's room yet when the room phone rang. The limousine had arrived, so Jennifer joined Chloe and Mac in the limo ride to the chapel. After dropping off the ladies at the academy, the driver was to turn around and pick up Harm and Mattie from the hotel. The newlyweds would arrive back at the hotel via the limousine for the reception, thus leaving Harm's rental car at the hotel as a means of escaping to start their honeymoon.

**CAPRI HOTEL - MAC'S ROOM**

**ONE AND A HALF HOURS PRIOR TO THE WEDDING**

With Mac at the chapel, Harm could change in Mac's hotel room. He went to get the key from his parents and to leave Mattie and her dress with them while he changed clothes. Soon after Harm had left for Mac's room, Frank excused himself to 'go check on the limousine'. Actually, Frank really went to check on Harm.

Frank knocked firmly against the door with his free hand. The other hand was holding a small glass containing a dark liquid. Harm answered the door wearing his white pants and the uniform jacket, although it was still unbuttoned, and his white undershirt was clearly visible.

"Frank?" Harm questioned.

"Drink this."

"What is it?"

"Bourbon, straight up."

"I'm okay, Frank."

"Sure you are...right now...but in a couple of hours, when you see that beautiful woman walking towards you in her gown, you'll be glad you took the edge off."

Harm took the glass, but didn't drink from it. Instead, he set it on the table near the door. "Actually, I'm glad you stopped by. I want to ask you a question." After looking down to make sure that he'd matched up the first button to the correct button hole, Harm looked directly at Frank. "How does Mom really feel about Mattie?"

"Harm, you should ask her."

"I asked you because you've always told me the truth, even when I didn't want to hear it." Harm knew that he had Frank's attention, so, as he continued to button his uniform, he began to pace. He was going to say things that were hard for him to admit and he couldn't look Frank in the eye until he'd gotten it out. "Don't get me wrong. I don't think that my mother's lied to me, but in her attempts not to hurt me, she hasn't always been as straightforward as you've been. Do you remember the conversation that you and I had the day you were marrying my mother? I'd been acting out for months, and the wedding day had finally arrived and I was full speed ahead on trying to stop it. I remember that you got down on my level and looked me in the eye. I don't remember the whole conversation, but I do recall two things you said. 'Harm, the first thing you need to know is that causing a scene today isn't going to get me to leave, but it will hurt your mother. I know that you love her and you don't want to do that.' You were right. The other thing you said that day was about my dad, and I definitely didn't want to hear it, but it was the first time that anyone had ever said it. 'I know that I'm not your dad and I know that your mother loved him very much, but he's gone. I know that you want him to be out there somewhere, but I don't think that's possible. If I thought that he _were_ out there, I'd get him back for you and your mother, because I love you both and I want you to be happy.' So, Frank, I need to know. How does my mother feel about Mattie?"

Frank was a little shocked to hear Harm talk about that day as if he'd learned a life lesson. "It isn't Mattie. It's her age. She isn't sure what to say or do with a teenager. When a grandchild enters the picture, one usually gets to know them as they grow, whether that's by babysitting or pictures. I think she feels a little robbed of baby clothes shopping. I think she's also worried that she's never going to get to see a child that looks like you and, therefore, your father. She's moved on, Harm, but she hasn't forgotten what she had with him."

Harm had finished buttoning his whites. He reached out and patted Frank's shoulder. "You see, I knew that you'd have the answer. Maybe you can explain to her how a man can love a child who isn't his. I should have said it a long time ago, but it's taken me longer than most to get to a place where I recognize what you did for me. I know that I didn't always listen, but I learned a lot of things from you, Frank. Today, I want to say thanks." Frank was filled with emotion and embraced Harm in a father and son hug. The brief hug broken, Harm spotted the glass of bourbon on the table. "You sure about this?" Harm asked while raising the glass.

"I haven't lied to you yet. I wouldn't advise more than one, but when you see your bride walking down the aisle towards you, you'll get butterflies, and it'll be good if they're a little stunned."

Harm downed the shot before the two men left Mac's room for his parents' room.

The moment Frank entered their room, his wife noticed the teary look in his eyes, and it had her wondering what had happened, but Frank waved off her question before she could ask in a way that only people who really know each other can communicate.

The room phone rang moments after the men entered. The limousine was here for Harm, Mattie, Mac's uncle and his parents.

They met Uncle Matt in the lobby and were soon on their way to the chapel.

**CHAPEL AT ANNAPOLIS**

**BRIDE'S ROOM **

**FORTY-FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING**

Once Mac had dressed and Harriet had attached Mac's veil, Mac began to pace. She said that it was so that she wouldn't wrinkle her dress, but no one believed that story. However, no one challenged her on it because, today, she was a bride, and nerves were permitted.

There was a knock at the door, and Mac was halfway to it before Harriet cut her off. "A bride doesn't answer her own door." Mac nodded and resumed pacing. Mac couldn't hear the person at the door, but she didn't have to play guessing games because Harriet moved to let the person into the room. It was Mattie.

Mattie's arrival signaled to all that Harm had also arrived. After Mattie had changed into her dress, the conversation in the bride's room went quickly from complimenting Mattie on how lovely she looked in her dress to talking about Harm.

**BRIDE'S ROOM**

**TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING**

A knock on the door had everyone except Mac looking at their watch. "I still have twenty-four minutes and thirty-two seconds until my wedding starts."

Mac couldn't believe it. During the planning, she hadn't used the term 'my wedding' once, but she just had. For the first time, she believed that _her_ wedding to Harm _was _going to happen.

The visitor at the door was Harm's mother. Mac swallowed hard, hoping that she wasn't here to try to stop the wedding when Trish asked for a moment with her and Mattie.

After the three of them went to the dressing area, Trish was the first to speak.

"I know that you don't have much time left before you marry my son, so I'll be brief. When we left the hotel, Frank was upset. He'd been talking to Harm, and I thought the worst."

Mac was trying to pay attention, but she was getting married in a few minutes, and she really didn't care if Harm and Frank had had a fight or not.

"After we arrived here, I asked Frank what had happened. He said that he'd talked to Harm many times in the past as a father, but for the first and, perhaps only time that it would ever happen, today, they'd had a father and son talk." Trish was starting to tear up. "Frank says that Harm loves the two of you very much. He also says that you two are perfect for him because he's a better man with the _two_ of you in his life." Trish looked directly into Mattie's eyes. "I know that yesterday was uncomfortable for you, but it's a bit hard for a mother who was expecting to someday have a grandbaby to be introduced to her beautiful, almost grown-up granddaughter. I hope that you'll forgive me."

"I don't remember my grandparents, so I probably didn't know what to do either," Mattie replied.

"Thank you," Trish said before giving Mattie a big hug. To keep the tears from putting streaks in her makeup, she took a tissue out of her purse and dabbed the corners of her eyes.

Trish turned to Mac. "Do you love my son?'

"Yes, ma'am, very much."

"Then I wish you the very best. Have you gone over your checklist yet? You know, something old, new, borrowed, blue and a lucky sixpence in your shoe?"

"No, ma'am."

"Call me Trish, dear. We're going to be family shortly. The dress serves as something new, and I hope that you can use a couple of things that I brought." Trish reached into her purse and pulled out a square box. "This should cover the old, borrowed, blue and sixpence," Trish said, offering the box to Mac.

Mac took the offered box and opened it, staring at the contents as Trish continued to speak.

"I'm afraid that I lost the original box years ago. Harm's father saved for months to buy that necklace for me. He gave it to me for our anniversary the year that he was shot down. It might sound silly, but if you wear it when you marry our son, I feel that it will allow him to be here somehow." The tissue was back up at her face, and she was dabbing at her eyes with it.

Mac took the platinum chain out of the box and let the heart shaped pendant drop while admiring the sapphires embedded in the face. Dangling from the center of the heart was a one carat diamond. In the bottom of the box was a silver dime.

Trish had regained her poise and spoke again. "I loved sapphires, and he said that he loved me, so a heart of sapphires was the perfect gift. I started to cry at how much thought he'd put into the gift, so I think he was trying to make me laugh when he told me that the diamond dangling from the center was so that Tom wouldn't think that he was cheap by buying me sapphires." Trish sighed at the memory, but quickly continued due to the time constraint on them. "The silver dime is the one that I had in my shoe on my wedding day. Harm's grandmother, Sarah, gave it to me. She couldn't be here today. She's had a cold and said that to make the trip right now would be too much, but I was to be sure that you got the dime that she'd used on her wedding day as well." Trish reached inside her purse to get Mac a tissue.

Mac continued to dab at her tears with the tissue, hoping not to ruin her makeup as Trish put the necklace on her before hugging her.

Pulling out of the embrace, Trish said, "You're a beautiful bride, and my son is a very lucky man. Now, I'd better get to my seat so this wedding can start."

"Thank you," Mac said softly.

Trish smiled in return and left the room as Harriet entered. It was time to double check Mac's hair, makeup, veil, well - everything. Before Harriet began her inspection, Mac slipped off her shoe, dropped the dime inside and then slipped the shoe back on before she embraced Mattie.

Mac couldn't express it at the moment, but she hoped that, one day, Mattie would find a man like Harm and be as happy as she was at this moment. As the two generations hugged, they could hear the faint strains of the organ as the prelude music began to fill the chapel, and the two parted so that Harriet could give Mac's look a final check before she walked down the aisle.

Harriet completed her inspection, only adjusting Mac's veil a little before she went into wedding planner mode and began to line up the bridesmaids and giving last minute instructions as she did so.

Mac stood looking at herself in the mirror in front of her. She didn't feel or look very much like a Marine today. She brushed the front of her satin dress with her palms. Today, she looked and felt like a woman, a very lucky woman. Harriet's voice broke through her thoughts. "It's time," Harriet said from the doorway behind her.

"I'm ready," Mac said as she turned to follow Harriet out of the dressing area and the bride's room.

**GROOM'S ROOM**

**FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING**

Bud and the rest of Harm's groomsmen had already been in the room when Harm had arrived thirty minutes ago. Bud seemed to be as nervous as when he'd married Harriet, and his habit of announcing the time every two minutes was starting to take a toll on Harm's nerves.

Harm knew that he was marrying the right woman, so there was no reason to be nervous, but the waiting around was getting to him. He was ready to get married and ready to do it right now.

Bud was jumpy, and the knock on the door caused him to almost jump out of his skin.

The visitor was Chaplain Turner, wanting a few moments with the groom before performing the ceremony.

After Chaplain Turner finished speaking with Harm, he asked Mac's uncle to follow him. It was time for people to start taking their places.

**GROOM'S ROOM**

**FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING**

Bud looked at Harm. "Are you ready, sir? It's time."

"Bud, today you're my best man. Do you think you could call me Harm?"

"I'll try…Harm."

"Let's go, Bud." Harm and his groomsmen moved from the room to take their places.

**THE BRIDAL PARTY**

**SAME TIME **

The processional had begun. Her wedding had begun, Mac thought excitedly.

As Harriet moved forward in front of them, Matt looked at his niece.

"Sarah, you look beautiful," her uncle commented.

"Thank you," Mac answered shyly.

"Do you love him?" Uncle Matt asked.

"With all my heart," she replied without hesitation.

"Then get ready. You're about to make your big entrance," Mac's uncle said with a grin.

Harm stood in front of the altar with Bud at his side.

Harriet was walking towards them, the last one before Mac.

Harm had thought that he'd be nervous once the ceremony had actually started, but he was absolutely calm.

When the first notes of the wedding march were played, Harm unwittingly began to hold his breath as he watched eagerly for Mac to appear.

Mac and her uncle, arm in arm, came into view, but stopped momentarily under the arch that marked the entrance to the sanctuary, per instructions from Harriet at the rehearsal, for dramatic effect and to allow the photographer to get one clean shot.

Harm's eyes looked at the woman who was about to walk towards him. He let out the breath that he'd been holding. He took in another breath, letting it out slowly as he looked at his bride. She was wearing a shining gown, probably satin. It had a scoop neck with three-quarter length sleeves. It was the dress from his dream of their marriage that he'd pictured many times.

He tried to breathe normally as Mac walked towards him. Her hair was down, framing her face. No veil covered her face. Instead, she had something in her hair to which the veil was attached, and the material flowed down her back from it. Mac took another step closer and, just as Frank had predicted, the butterflies began to flap wildly in his stomach.

Mac took another step closer, and he struggled to breathe. The diamond and sapphire necklace that was hanging around Mac's neck sparkled in the candlelight as she took another step closer. The necklace looked familiar to him. It was the necklace that his mother had worn every day for many months after his father had been shot down. The momentary distraction of remembering the necklace's origin allowed him to regain his composure and, just in time, because Mac was only a step away.

Mac relinquished her uncle's arm and moved her bouquet to her left hand. Her uncle kissed her cheek and reached for her wrist. He moved her hand to Harm's now extended hand.

Harm's eyes hadn't left his bride's, so when Chaplain Turner's spoke, it startled him. Harm and Mac turned towards the altar to listen.

Chaplain Turner began "We are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and this woman in holy matrimony. The state of matrimony should not be taken lightly…" He spoke about love and the institution of marriage for a few minutes before he said, "If there is anyone here who knows any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Chaplain Turner continued after a brief pause that would allow someone to object if they desired. "Do you, Harmon Rabb, Junior, take Sarah MacKenzie to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Then repeat after me. I, Harmon, take you, Sarah, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love." Harm repeated each vow with sincerity in his eyes and a smile on his lips. "I will cherish our union and I will love you more each day than I did the day before. ... I will be your partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as in sorrow. ... I promise to love you unconditionally, and to honor and respect you for as long as we both shall live."

"Do you, Sarah MacKenzie, take Harmon Rabb, Junior to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then repeat after me. I, Sarah, take you, Harmon, to be my husband." Mac repeated the words until she'd completed the same vows that Harm had taken.

"These two have chosen to exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment to each other," Chaplain Turner said after Mac had finished repeating the last line of her vows.

"Harmon, place the ring on Sarah's finger and say these words. I give this ring to you as a symbol of my constant faith and devotion." Harm slipped the gold band with three diamonds onto her finger and repeated the words that Chaplain Turner had previously spoken.

"Sarah, place the ring on Harm's finger and say these words. I give this ring to you as a symbol of my constant faith and devotion." Mac slipped the plain gold band onto Harm's finger, and her voice was shaky as she repeated the words that echoed in her head.

With the ring exchange completed, Chaplain Turner stated proudly, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"A collective sigh could be heard as the bride and groom's lips came together in a sweet and traditional kiss.

The formal wedding turned military as the newly wedded couple exited the chapel and the command "Officers, draw, swords" was uttered by Lt. Commander Roberts. As Harm had done for him, Bud continued to issue the orders. "Arch swords. ... Blades to the wind. ... Presenting for the first time in public, Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb, Junior." Bud even duplicated Harm's performance by including the "Go Navy" swat to Mac's six.

Bud had considered not doing the swat at the end because, when Harm had done it to the new Mrs. Roberts, the new Mrs. Roberts hadn't outranked him and wasn't a Marine who could do him bodily harm. Bud, at the last minute, hoped that Colonel MacKenzie would understand that it was tradition and not make him pay for it later.

Bud needn't have worried, because the Marine wasn't present today, only the woman who was in love and having the most wonderful day of her life.


	37. Chapter 37

**PART FOUR – The Reception **

**LIMO IN ROUTE TO THE CAPRI HOTEL **

The bride and groom had been whisked into a limousine outside the chapel for the ride back to the hotel. Unbeknown to them, Harriet had instructed the driver to drive them around for about twenty minutes in order to give everyone else a chance to arrive at the reception before them.

Once the newlyweds were seated inside and the driver had closed the door, Harm looked into Mac's eyes. They seemed a richer, deeper brown than he remembered.

He was staring at her. "Is something wrong, Harm?"

He realized that he'd been staring when Mac spoke. "No, nothing's wrong. Everything is wonderful. I'm still just admiring my bride. You took my breath away when I first saw you in that dress."

"So you like the dress?" Mac asked.

"I like _you_ in that dress," he said as his lips came to hers. His lips touched hers briefly and then briefly once more.

"Keep talking like that, and those dress whites and gold wings are going to keep you from being lonely tonight, Sailor." She giggled as he raised that eyebrow of his and moved his lips towards hers again.

His lips touched hers, and his hand snaked around her, pulling her into a kiss that was a culmination of a night apart, the love that he felt for her and his utter joy in knowing that she was now his wife. Mac returned the kiss for all the same reasons.

Occasionally, the need to breathe would force them to part, but little else was said. They enjoyed every kind of kiss imaginable, from the gentle touching of lips to the tangling of tongues and toe-curling passionate ones, until the limo came to a stop.

The motion of the car halted, but it wasn't until they heard the sound of the driver's door closing that the newlyweds parted, becoming aware that they'd reached their destination. After they'd broken apart, they immediately began to check to make sure that they were still presentable.

**CAPRI HOTEL **

Harriet had driven the minivan to the wedding, so she drove it back to the hotel for the reception. Jennifer, Chloe and Mattie rode with her. Bud had driven their other car and was responsible for getting Harm's parents and Mac's uncle to the reception.

It was important to Harriet to be at the reception first in order to inspect the final details that the hotel staff were supposed to have done that morning. The only problem that she found wasn't because of the hotel staff. The photographer's assistant had placed the camera for the picture of the bride and groom entering the reception at the wrong door. With not enough time to move the equipment, they'd have to change doors or lose the picture.

**OUTSIDE THE BALLROOM DOORS**

**HOTEL CAPRI **

An employee of the hotel greeted the bride and groom at the limo outside and told them that he'd been informed that he should show them to a different set of doors than previously planned. He walked them down a hall to a set of double doors and asked them to wait for a moment while he notified someone inside that they'd arrived.

Harm and Mac stood outside the double doors, arm in arm.

"You ready for this?" she asked.

"After the limo ride, I'm ready for the honeymoon," Harm said with a wink and a grin.

"Speaking of the honeymoon, are you going to tell me where we're going now?"

"No, it's a surprise."

Mac pouted and batted her eyes. "Harm, you really shouldn't keep secrets from your wife."

The man opened the doors, and Mac muttered, "I guess I'll just have to be surprised."

As they stepped into the ballroom, they were hit by a bright flash of light when the photographer took their picture as the DJ announced, "Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb, Jr. have arrived and will dance their first dance together as husband and wife."

Harm and Mac took to the dance floor. A moment later, the music began.

Harm and Mac danced, but their stance was rigid and more formal than intimate. Those watching thought they were dancing like a royal couple who didn't want to act inappropriate in front of their subjects. The couple danced the entire song alone on the dance floor. As the couple's dance ended and the guests applauded, the DJ announced that the dance floor was open for all dancers, and the next song began to play.

With the first dance out of the way, guests would be able to dance while the newlyweds were busy with other activities. The advantage to a mid-afternoon wedding was that there was still daylight outside, so equipment for photos had been setup in the hotel's garden. The disadvantage was that the light didn't last forever, so the couple's next activity was to pose for photos. The assistant had taken photos of their dance and then ushered them off to the garden for pictures when the dance ended.

A small room just inside the door to the garden was decorated with flowers and fabric in the colors of the wedding so that bridal party pictures could be taken in either or both places. As the shutter on the camera clicked, taking pictures of the happy couple, the DJ inside announced that certain people needed to join the bride and groom for pictures. The picture taking reminded everyone of senior prom, but the system was working very nicely.

When Mattie came out with Harm's parents for pictures, she was grinning from ear to ear and quickly shared the reason for her excitement. Kevin and his parents had arrived. While Harm was in a picture with Mattie and his parents, Mac asked the photographers' assistant to make sure that she got a picture of Mattie with her 'date' as a keepsake for their daughter.

When the couple returned to the ballroom, guests were dancing, drinking, talking and having a good time. The couple received many congratulatory handshakes and hugs as they crossed the room. The couple was happy to receive any well wishes along the way, but they were in search of Kevin and his parents. Mac had spoken to them on the phone to invite them to the reception, but had never met them or Kevin.

Harm and Mac finally located Kevin and his parents. It was a terrifying moment for Kevin when he met Harm. Kevin thought that the man whom he met was much taller than the man in the picture that Mattie had shown him.

The music faded, and the DJ announced that everyone should find their seats because dinner was about to be served. The DJ put on a CD that he'd burned for times like these. It would play for almost two hours if he didn't stop it. Before leaving his station, he made sure that the music was playing at a background level so that people could hear each other talk if they preferred conversation with dinner.

Dinner was served and conversations were had. It was a wonderful meal, but it was soon over, and wait staff began to clear the tables as the DJ returned to his station.

The DJ allowed a few more songs from the CD to play before switching to individual songs again, giving time for the wait staff to finish before announcing the next planned dance.

The next dance was Mac with her uncle and Harm with his mother. The two pairs took their places on the dance floor as the music began. Harm waited until they'd danced for a while before speaking to his mother.

"Mom, I want to thank you for supporting my decision to take custody of Mattie. I'm sure that it isn't easy for you to become a grandmother to an almost grown granddaughter. You should know that Mattie isn't the only child that we want, but we _are_ starting a little later at this than most, so Mattie may be the only one…but, God willing, maybe not. I just wanted you to know that so you don't lose hope that you'll have a grandbaby some day."

Trish smiled at her son's words, assuming that his comments had something to do with something that Mac had said to him about their conversation. Trish would never know that the subject had been on his mind since he'd felt the tension in the apartment yesterday and that it was Frank who'd let him know what he needed to say to her to make her feel better about his new family.

The music had ended and, as Mac's uncle and Harm's mother left the dance floor, Harm called to his mother. "Mom." Trish turned to see a mischievous smile spread across Harm's face. "Have Frank explain why I didn't want to use your house on our honeymoon."

The bride and groom remained on the dance floor as the DJ announced a special third dance. Harm was going to dance with Mattie and Mac was going to dance with Frank. When the song was about half way over, the DJ said that others should join them on the dance floor.

The song ended, and Harm was telling Mattie how nice she looked in her dress when he heard the words "Excuse me, Sir" from the nervous cracking of a teenaged boy's voice. Harm turned to see Kevin. "Could I...I mean, may I dance with Mattie, Sir?"

Harm wanted to say no, not just because he didn't want a boy that close to his daughter, but because he thought that dancing with him may have been physically taxing enough on her at this stage of her recovery. Knowing that no would be the wrong answer, Harm left the decision up to Mattie by replying, "If she'd like to dance with you, you may."

Kevin and Harm looked at Mattie, who was eagerly nodding yes.

"I guess I'll have to find another girl to dance with," Harm said as Kevin took Mattie's hand. Harm didn't think that they'd heard him, but Mattie had.

"Try finding your wife, you know, the girl in the wedding gown. I'm sure that she'll dance with you."

Harm chuckled. His eyes met Mattie's, and he knew that his relationship with her was going to lead to heartache for him because, someday, he'd be stepping aside for her to dance with another man at her wedding.

Harm turned to go find Mac, but he almost ran into her. She'd been standing right behind him, watching. "I think you need a new dance partner."

Harm looked over his shoulder at Mattie and Kevin slow dancing together. It was a brief look, and all he saw was the wide smile on Mattie's face. "I haven't seen her smile like that since before the accident. It was a wise thing you did when you invited him and his parents here." He took Mac into his arms with space between them in a pose that was suited for a picture or dancing with your sister, and they began to move to the music.

"Wisdom, is that why you married me?"

"One of many reasons," he answered, his arm snaking farther around her waist as he pulled her in closer to him. He brought their joined hands to rest on his shoulder as the music played. They were dancing now as if no one else was in the room. It was only when the third song began to play with a faster tempo that they finally decided that it was time to leave the dance floor.

The music played on, and people danced for about thirty more minutes before the DJ called for everyone's attention for the cutting of the wedding cake. Harm and Mac stood side by side, his large hand easily covering hers as they pushed the knife through the cake.

Mac used a fork to lift a piece of cake to Harm's mouth. Harm's mouth opened, and Mac inserted the fork. Harm reached up and removed the cleaned fork from his mouth and used it to serve Mac a piece of their wedding cake.

Having everyone's attention on them and having exchanged cake, it seemed like the perfect time for Harm to speak to their guests. "I want to say that we hope that everyone is having a good time. We want our friends and family to know that we're especially happy that they could join us for this special occasion today. We also want to express our gratitude to everyone for coming to give us your support and best wishes. Thank you." The gathered people clapped at the acknowledgement of their attendance.

The applause quieted and the cake was served. While others ate cake, Mac went to the ladies room. The last two customs were going to be happening soon, and she didn't want her dress to have to be raised too far for Harm to be able to remove her garter.

Mac went in search of Chloe when she left the ladies room. When she found Chloe, she was making eyes at one of Mikey Roberts' friends, but Mac pulled her aside to remind her that Jennifer would be staying at the hotel tonight and that she'd be taking her to the airport tomorrow. After rolling her eyes, her teenage way of saying 'I don't need a babysitter,' Chloe said that she hoped to be able to visit Mac in California over a school holiday. Mac said that she'd like that and gave her a hug before she let Chloe go back to flirting.

Mac had just located Harm and was on her way over to him when the single ladies were asked to gather for the tossing of the bouquet, so Mac tossed it, and Varese was the surprised recipient.

After the tossing of the bouquet, the single men were gathered for the tossing of the garter, and Sturgis caught it.

The couple was ready to leave, but moved about the room for several minutes and danced to the next slow song played to avoid just running out on all who'd joined them today. After everyone had had an opportunity to see the couple on the dance floor, it was time for Harm to find Frank.

Frank was coming back into the ballroom and saw the couple leaving the dance floor, so he approached them. Frank handed Harm a plastic card and a set of keys and said, "It's done." Harm nodded, and Mac looked confused. Harm tucked the two items into his pocket, and then he and Mac set out to find Mattie.

Mattie was with Kevin, talking at the table while his parents were dancing. Kevin turned pale as Harm and Mac approached, but the color returned quickly when they just asked to speak to Mattie for a moment.

Harm told Mattie that they'd be back on Friday evening. Mac reminded Mattie that she was staying at the hotel tonight with Jennifer and that Harm's parents would be taking her back to the apartment tomorrow while Jennifer took Chloe to the airport. Mattie gave each of them a hug before returning to Kevin.

No one seemed to notice them standing near the door, so one second they were in the ballroom, and the next they were gone.


	38. Chapter 38

**PART FIVE - The Wedding Night **

Harm and Mac had slipped easily out of the ballroom. Outside the ballroom door, Harm took Mac's hand and headed for the elevators. He pushed the 'up' call button, and they stood in silence as if speaking would alert their guests in the ballroom that they'd escaped. Mac was scanning the area around them to see if any of their guests were looking for them and didn't see Harm remove the plastic card from his pocket. He read the sticky note attached to the front of the card: Tenth floor, room 1025, and then slipped the card back into his pocket. The ding of the elevator's arrival signaled that they were about to make a clean getaway. The couple moved quickly into the elevator, and Harm pushed the '10' button.

The doors closed. "My room is on the fourth floor," Mac reminded him.

"But _our_ room's on the tenth," Harm replied.

"Does this have anything to do with what Frank gave you?"

"Yes. He gave me the key to our room and the keys to my rental car. I had Frank move my rental. I know that most of our guests probably wouldn't even know that it was mine, but for those who would, if it had been parked in exactly the same place, they might realize that we hadn't left the hotel."

"Frank knows that we're here?"

"Yes, but someone needed to know, and Frank and I worked it all out. I'm to slip our room key under his door when we leave the hotel in the morning. He'll come in and pick up your wedding dress and my dress whites and anything else that's wedding related that we don't want to take with us."

"Oh, that's a good idea." She moved closer to him. "You gonna tell me where we're going now?" The elevator made that ding sound, alerting them to their arrival on the tenth floor. "Saved by the bell, Rabb."

They stepped off the elevator, and the sign on the wall pointed to the right for rooms 1015-1025. A few moments later, Harm was swiping the keycard in the door. The indicator light turned green, and Harm reached for the knob and pushed the door open. He waited for a moment to make sure that the door would remain open before turning towards Mac. The next thing Mac knew, her feet were leaving the floor. He'd scooped her up to carry her over the threshold.

Harm turned around with Mac in his arms, and Mac pushed the door closed. Harm then put Mac down, but didn't let go, opting to pull her into a kiss. The kiss came to a natural close, and they took a moment to look around the room. Mainly, they wanted to check out the bed, but they did take in the warm colors in which the room was decorated before they took in the comfortable looking oversized bed. "Harm, the room is lovely, but I'd like to freshen up and change, and my luggage is on another floor."

"No, it's here." He scanned the room and saw their bags on a stand near a door that was probably the entrance to the bathroom. He pointed. "Over there."

"Frank, too?"

"Yeah."

"Are we going to San Diego for our honeymoon?"

"What makes you think that?" Harm asked curiously.

Mac turned her back to Harm. "Unzip me, please." He reached for the zipper. "I heard you tell your mother to ask Frank why you didn't want to use their house for our honeymoon. Why did you say that if we aren't going to San Diego while they're here?"

He began to pull the zipper down her back. "They own a couple of houses, not just the one they live in, and Frank and I were talking about one of them."

"Why didn't you want to use the house then?" Mac questioned, hoping to get a clue as to their honeymoon destination in his answers.

He finished unzipping the dress and turned her to face him. "If we used the house, we'd have to starve, go out to eat or cook and clean up after ourselves. If we stay at a hotel, we can have room service, leaving us more time to -"

Mac cut him off. "Why did your mother need to know that?" she asked with a pink tinge of embarrassment in her cheeks.

"It's a long story." He knew how to stop the questions and placed his lips on hers in a gentle kiss.

"Why are we leaving in the morning? Aren't there any planes to 'it's a surprise' leaving tonight?"

"You're sure full of questions," he said before giving her a quick peck on the lips. "If you must know, I added up the time that it takes to get to the airport and through security, the flight and waiting for our luggage..." He blushed. "I didn't think that I'd be able to wait that long," he said before pulling her into a much more passionate kiss.

She didn't say it out loud, but she was thinking that he was right. She didn't know if she could've waited either. "I want to get more comfortable. It'll probably take me a few minutes, so you should get more comfortable, too."

Mac stopped at her bags, grabbed some items and disappeared into the bathroom.

**HOTEL CAPRI - ROOM 1025**

**FIVE MINUTES LATER **

Harm had gone to the door and hung the cheesy looking DO NOT DISTURB sign on the doorknob. When he closed the door, he made sure that it was shut, locked and dead bolted because, tonight, he didn't want any interruptions. Then he unbuttoned and removed his jacket.

**FIVE MINUTES LATER**

Harm had surveyed the room and glanced through the items in the mini bar. He went to the bathroom door and hollered through. "Mac, do you want anything to drink or something?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

He removed his shoes and socks and added them to the stack of his clothing for Frank to pick up in the morning.

**FIVE MINUTES LATER **

Harm didn't want to take off too much and appear too anxious, but he was running out of things to do. He shed his t-shirt and added it to his pile of clothing.

**FIVE MINUTES LATER**

Harm opened a bottle of water. He was trying to stay busy and not think. He took a mouthful of the water and swallowed. What was she doing in there?

**FIVE MINUTES LATER**

She'd been in there twenty-five minutes now. He'd finished the water and turned down the bed before beginning to pace. He walked towards the bathroom door and tapped lightly and asked, "Are you all right in there? Do you need some help?"

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Harm walked to the other side of the room and paced between the bed and the door. Well, she hadn't jumped out the window because she was still in there, but what was taking her so long? He started a silent debate in his head: take the pants off too or leave them on. He was getting more anxious by the minute. He'd never be able to tell his modern, independent bride about the feelings that he was having about their union tonight. He recognized that his feelings were a bit prehistoric, but it was the way that he was feeling, nonetheless. Until they consummated their marriage, they were married, but she wasn't his wife. He wanted her as his wife. He wanted to know that she was his. He certainly would never force her to do anything that she didn't want to do, but he wanted her in a way that he'd never wanted any other woman before.

**HOTEL CAPRI - ROOM 1025**

**BATHROOM**

**THIRTY MINUTES AFTER MAC HAD ENTERED IT **

Mac had needed the first fifteen minutes in here to take off her veil, get out of her wedding gown, hang it up and shed her underclothes. Then she'd needed five minutes to put on the floor length ivory colored silk and lace nightgown, brush her hair and freshen her lip gloss.

Five minutes ago, when Harm had knocked on the door to check on her, she'd been sitting on edge of the bathtub, trying to get over the dizzy feeling that she was having.

For the last five minutes, she'd been standing in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at her reflection. She needed to be sure that she was ready to go out there. She'd bought this nightgown just for tonight. So, why then was she standing in the bathroom and feeling so nervous? She'd been with a man before. She'd even been with _this_ man before. Hell, she'd even been married before. That's when it hit her. She was married, really married. She'd always found it hard to consider that her marriage to Chris had been real. Yes, legally, they'd been married, but they'd been drinking when they'd gotten married, and their wedding night was a drunken blur to her. This afternoon, she'd been sober when she'd said her 'I do's'. She was really married, and her husband...Harm was on the other side of that door waiting for her, his wife.

Harm was pacing, and his back was to the bathroom door when Mac finally worked up the courage to pull the bathroom door open after being in there for thirty minutes. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door just a crack at first, and then seeing that Harm had his back to her, she let out the breath she was holding and stepped out of the bathroom.

Harm was preoccupied with his thoughts and didn't realize that she'd finally come out.

Mac moved closer, but stayed a few paces away from him. Hoping that she wouldn't startle him, she spoke softly. "I'm sorry that it took me so long. I wanted to be sure that I looked okay."

He turned and took in the sight of her in an ivory colored silk nightgown. "You look lovely."

As he closed the distance between them, he added, "To be honest, you've never looked anything but beautiful to me."

His hands came to rest on her bare arms. "You're trembling. Are you cold?"

"No."

"What is it then?"

"It's silly."

He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sure it isn't silly."

"Yes, it is. I'm nervous." 

"Nervous about…" he began to ask, but when Mac looked up at him, the look in her eyes left him with no doubt that she was nervous about the wedding night.

Harm did think that it was a little silly, but it was sweet at the same time. With his own feelings about the wedding night, he had no right to criticize any way that she was feeling, but he wanted to say something.

"You know, I read that around seventy percent of newlyweds don't consummate their marriage on their wedding night," he informed her.

Mac wondered where he'd read it, but she didn't ask. "Really, I wonder why." She really wasn't expecting an answer, but she got one.

"The article gave the reasons of: too tired from the wedding and reception, by the time they traveled to their honeymoon destination it was the next day, or one or the other of the couple were too drunk, and a few listed that they were too nervous."

Mac began to go through the list of reasons that he'd given her. "We didn't serve alcohol at the reception, and I didn't see you go to the cash bar outside the ballroom, so we can eliminate that. We didn't travel, so -"

Harm's lips covered hers in a searing kiss, stopping her nervous rambling. He loved her more than he'd thought loving someone was possible.

His kiss is what she needed. The simmering desire that she had for him was brought to the surface by his kiss, and her nervousness was replaced by passion.

They kissed and kissed some more, each kiss more passionate and hotter than the previous one. Each kiss was like adding another log to a fire that was already fully ablaze.

After an unknown number of kisses, they were both hot and flushed. Harm scooped Mac up into his arms, moved to the bed and placed her down on it. Then it hit him. The room was bright with light. The one other thing that he could have done while he'd been waiting for her was now obvious. He could've flicked the light switch by the door so that the larger, brighter lights would've been off, providing softer, more romantic lighting. He left Mac on the bed and moved to shut off the overhead lights.

Having switched off those lights, he walked towards the bed, unfastening his pants as he approached the little shelf where he'd placed his other discarded clothing. He removed his pants and added them to the pile before completing his journey to the bed.

Mac watched as his tall form moved towards her, and she moved into a kneeling position for a better view. His muscular chest with a smattering of hair narrowed to a waist proportioned nicely to the rest of him. As he came closer, the bulge in his boxers was obvious. A flash of heat coursed through her body at the thought of having him inside her again. Her eyes moved down his muscular legs as he came closer. The scar on one shin from the injury that he'd sustained while saving her from being hit by a car years ago was visible to her.

He now stood at the edge of the bed in only his boxers. She lifted her gown off over her head, revealing her body to him.

"I'm ready. Are you?" she asked, though she was pretty sure that she knew the answer.

His boxers were a memory a second later, and he climbed into bed with her.

Taking it slowly at first, they kissed while their hands roamed. Tonight would be the same slow and gentle lovemaking that they'd experienced before. Nothing new, but, somehow, it seemed as if it were the first time. In fact, it was the first time as husband and wife.

They enjoyed each other until need took charge, and then he moved his body into position over hers.

As they both neared the height of their union. Mac asked. "Together forever now?"

"Yes, together forever," he agreed in a husky voice.

A few moments later, the last of his seed entered her. They then lay together and whispered "I love you" to each other in panting, breathless voices.

At last, they were husband and wife.


	39. Chapter 39

**PART SIX – The Honeymoon**

**SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2005**

**HOTEL CAPRI – ROOM 1025**

After the excitement of the day and the feeling of completion that their post nuptial union had provided, they'd fallen asleep, tangled together and holding on to each other last night.

Harm had awakened about an hour ago to use the head, and when he'd returned to bed, he'd watched Mac sleep for a few minutes before closing his eyes and trying to go back to sleep.

Mac woke with a need to use the bathroom. Unaware that Harm was awake, she slipped from his arms and got out of bed.

On her way back to bed, Mac spotted her ivory nightgown on the floor. The corners of her mouth started to curl up into a smile at the thought of their lovemaking. She moved to her luggage and put the gown away. As she headed to bed again, the stack of his clothes caught her attention, and she moved towards them.

Harm knew that she'd gotten out of bed, but didn't open his eyes at first. He heard her shut the bathroom door and reopen it a couple of minutes later. He waited for what he thought was enough time for her to get back into bed, but she hadn't returned. He then opened his eyes and scanned the room for her. Seeing her over by the stack of his clothes, he rolled to his side to better see what she was doing. Lying on his side facing her, his eyes focused on his dress whites' jacket that she'd draped around her shoulders. She stroked the polyester blend fabric like it was something far softer, obviously thinking about something. After a few strokes of the cloth with her palm, she removed the jacket and started to refold it, presumably to put it back on the pile.

The jacket had been on the bottom, but Mac wasn't trying to hide the fact that she'd had it out and returned the folded jacket to the top of the stack. She started towards the bed and noticed that Harm had rolled to his side, facing her, but she didn't realize that he was awake until he spoke as she was crawling into bed.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked in a soft tone so as not to startle her.

"About dress whites and gold wings."

"What about them?"

"At least, when they're _your _dress whites and gold wings, they aren't so overrated."

"Do you need to do more research to be sure about that?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. 

"Do we have time before we need to head to the airport?"

He mumbled, "We'll make time" as he began to assault her senses with his touch and his kisses.

As the moment arrived to blend their bodies and sate their passion, as if it were her turn to make him her husband, Mac took control by being on top and regulating the pace until she took them over the edge from desire to satisfaction.

Mac was in the shower when the hotel room phone rang. It was the wakeup call that Harm had requested in order to make sure that they made their flight.

Mac was dressed when she came out of the bathroom, carrying her wedding gown and veil. "I thought we should put everything together to make it easier for Frank," Mac said while draping the garment bag over the pile of Harm's clothes. When her arm came out from under the bag, she had a square box in her hand. "Your mother loaned this to me for the wedding. I didn't remember to give it back to her last night. I don't think that I should just leave it with the rest of the items, so do you have a suggestion?"

"Put it in the bag with your dress. We'll leave a message on Jennifer's machine on our way to the airport for Mattie to tell Mom where it is. Since we know that no one will be there to answer, we won't get tied up with talking to anyone."

"Good plan." She unzipped the garment bag and placed the box inside. Before rezipping the bag, she turned to look at Harm who was watching her. "Are you going to shower and get ready?"

"I'm going. I'm going. I just find it difficult to take my eyes off of you." He winked and fled her wrath by hurrying into the bathroom.

Mac just rolled her eyes. His words were sweet, but if they were going to catch a plane, he needed to get dressed.

Harm knew that he needed to get moving, so he took a five-minute shower and dressed in five more. He strode out of the bathroom to gather his luggage. "You ready?" he inquired as he reached for his bag.

"I have a bag packed and I'm able to leave the hotel, but I don't know if I'm ready." At Harm's a puzzled look she continued, "You told me to pack for a warm climate, but to put in long sleeves or a sweater for evening. You also said that I should bring a bathing suit. So am I ready for wherever you're taking me?"

Harm moved to her and dropped his bag next to hers. "Is this your new way of asking where we're going?"

"Yes."

"We'll be there in a couple of hours, so there's no reason why you can't know now." He took her into his arms. "We're honeymooning in the Bahamas… warm days and tropical evening breezes."

Mac was pleased with his choice of honeymoon destinations and kissed him as a means of telling him so.

Their lips parted. "Hey, I thought you were ready to leave the hotel," Harm teased.

Mac swatted him on the six. "Let's go."

They left the room, made a quick stop on the sixth floor to slip the key under the door for Frank as planned and then were on their way to Harm's rental car.

On the way to the airport, Mac made the call, leaving the message for Mattie about the location of Trish's necklace.

They returned the rental car, made it through the security check point and caught their flight.

A shuttle from the hotel picked them up at the airport in the Bahamas and drove them to the hotel.

**THE SAND STONE RESORT AND SPA**

**THE BAHAMAS**

They passed through a grand lobby with marble floors and high ceilings on the way to their room and were told that they had a suite. Inside the suite, the newlyweds found a note attached to a fruit basket next to a chilling bottle of bubbly: Enjoy the upgrade. Love, Mom and Frank.

After further examination of the room, Harm found the information sheets about activities offered by the hotel or that could be booked through the resort. Harm took the opportunity to tell Mac that he'd picked the destination, but he hadn't scheduled any activities so that she should look over the offerings and see what she'd like to do while they were there. He pointed out that some of the items required reservations. The time needed to get reservations varied from a few hours prior for spa items like facials and messages to twenty-four hours or more for such things as a beach picnic for two and scuba diving, so she needed to look over the list soon so that arrangements could be made for anything that she wanted to do.

Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed, reviewing the list of activities while Harm poured two glasses of the chilling liquid. After pouring them, he moved over and sat on the bed close to her, offering her one of the glasses.

"Harm, you don't have to ply me with liquor." She hadn't really thought much about the statement, but was simply teasing him.

He replied in a tone that said that the implication behind her words had hurt him. "I wouldn't do that. It's non-alcoholic champagne."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything." She batted her long lashes at him. "Forgive me?"

"You ask that like I could say no to you," Harm stated, looking into her dreamy eyes.

She scooted closer to him on the edge of the bed and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Since I'm forgiven, let's talk activities." She took a sip of the chilled drink and, after she'd mulled over the choices, she started to point out things that she'd like to do.

Harm agreed to all of her ideas. After a call to the front desk to request that reservations be made for the items that she'd selected, Harm asked, "We have a plan for what we're doing for the rest of the week, but what are we doing with the rest of today?"

She put down her now empty glass on the table next to the bed on top of the list that they'd reviewed and the room service menu. She turned to him and wound her arms around his neck. "Since we're on our honeymoon, I think we can come up with something." She leaned into him and nibbled on his lower lip.

They peeled off each other's clothes and made love, ordered dinner from room service and made love again, then allowed sleep to replenish their energy.

**MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2005**

Harm was in the shower when Mac woke, but there was a small gifted wrapped box on his pillow with her name on it. She sat up and reached for the box. She pulled off the paper and lifted the lid. The box contained a charm bracelet with three charms hanging from it. One charm was a Marine Corps emblem, one was the Navy emblem, and the third was a heart with a pair of interlocking rings on it with their wedding date engraved on the back.

Harm entered the bedroom, and she felt his presence. She looked up at him with moist eyes. "You know, I've learned something about you since you proposed."

"What's that?" he asked.

"That you're a mushy romantic."

"You can't leak that information. It'll ruin my reputation. Besides, if you tell, I'll tell," he bargained.

"Tell what?" Mac asked with a frown.

"That the camouflage-colored garter was the only thing Marine about you on our wedding day and that you aren't just a woman, you're a girlie one."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, but I wish that I'd known sooner. You know...that the flower and candy routine would've worked on you. You were so independent and Marine tough and proud that I was never sure what to do with you."

"Do you know what to do with me now?"

"I think I've got it figured out...well...mostly."

"Help me put on my bracelet and then we'll see what you've figured out."

Harm put the bracelet on her wrist, and then they made love.

After lovemaking, while Mac was in the bathroom showering and dressing, Harm got dressed so that, once Mac exited the bathroom, they'd both be ready to participate in activities outside their hotel room.

Today, Mac had selected an excursion of sightseeing and shopping. She hoped to find some postcards to send to Mattie and Chloe. She also hoped to locate some trinkets or a picture that she could take back with her to remind her of the Bahamas and, therefore, her honeymoon.

They returned to the hotel in the early evening with shopping bags in hand and empty stomachs. They had a hotel employee take their shopping bags to their room while they dined at a restaurant in the hotel.

They enjoyed a nice, leisurely meal and then decided to head to their suite.

All the walking involved in shopping and sightseeing had the oversized bathtub beckoning Mac to it.

Mac started the water for her bath. Harm had declined the offer to join her, but she had a plan to change his mind. She began to fill the tub and added a few drops of scented oil to the water. Then she undressed and shut off the water when the level reached about the halfway point, knowing that, if she got her sailor in the tub, too, the water level would rise.

When the tub was ready, she went into the bedroom wearing only a smile. "The tub is big enough for two. Are you sure that you don't care to join me, Sailor?" she asked seductively.

She waited for a moment to make sure that he hadn't only heard her but seen her before retreating into the bathroom. The invitation issued in this manner was all it took for her to convince 'shower man' that he should join her for a bath.

He'd been making himself comfortable while she'd been drawing the bath, so all he had to shed was his boxers. Moments later, she could feel his breath on the back of her neck as she was about to step into the tub.

She had him get in first and get settled. When she raised her leg to place it in the tub, Harm saw his wife's tattooed ankle for the first time as she lowered her foot into the water. "I have something to add to the list of activities," he breathed into her ear as she was settling her body between his legs. "I got only a glimpse of that tattoo of yours, so I'll have to be sure to get a better look at it before our honeymoon is over."

She settled her back against his chest as the warm water surrounded them. A faint hint of something like musk was in the air. He wrapped his arms around her and held her for a moment before beginning to kiss and nibble on her shoulder.

Harm worked his way up her shoulder to her neck with his kisses and, when she arched her back to give him better access to her neck, her bottom pressed firmly into his manhood. It wasn't painful, but rather a pleasurable reminder that there were no longer any barriers to keep them apart.

Mac turned and straddled his thighs so that her lips could meet his. Her breasts were pressing into his chest, their lips were together and his hands were roaming freely over her back.

A tub big enough for two to bathe doesn't necessarily give two people room to have sex, but they managed it, and before the water got cold.

The day's shopping and sightseeing had been fun, but tiring. After the added physical exertion of bathtub sex, they decided that bed for sleeping should be the next activity.

**TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2005**

Harm had awakened before Mac and ordered something for breakfast. While he waited for breakfast to arrive, he lay wrapped in a robe beside Mac, watching her sleep. They'd been married almost three whole days, and seeing her beside him still seemed like a dream.

She felt his eyes on her and woke to the most handsome face that she'd ever seen, Harm's. Their eyes locked, but the spell was broken by a knock on the door, indicating that room service had arrived with their breakfast.

They ate breakfast and got ready for their day. Mac readied a bag with her wrap, sunscreen and Chapstick. She made sure that she had a hat for the boat trip out to the dive location. She didn't want to risk sunburn that would interfere with their main honeymoon activity.

They were gone for most of the day. The coral reefs and sea life were fascinating, and it was an exciting day, but the sun and water had a way of tiring them out without them realizing it.

They arrived back at the hotel, but were too tired to eat, so they decided to just get some sleep.

**WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2005**

She'd drifted off into dreamland while lying beside him last night. In the early hours of the morning, her dreams had turned to fantasies, and she woke with a start. The intensity of her dreams had made her hot and needing release. She couldn't remember ever feeling like this when waking from a dream.

Though asleep, her movements registered with him, and he soon felt her slight frame on top of him. Moist kisses administered along his jaw line brought him out of sleep. She felt him move, an indication that he was awake, and her lips descended on his.

She assaulted his senses and met no resistance. He responded to her kisses and her touch. She captured his arousal in her body and began to move to satisfy her yearning. Her pace was fast because her need was so strong, and it wasn't long before she won her own fulfillment and collapsed against him. Her body relaxed on top of his, and she felt the hardness of his unfulfilled need still inside of her. She was satisfied, but she hadn't succeeded in satisfying him.

She didn't know what to do, what to say, or if she should do or say anything. She felt guilty. Maybe he'd been sleeping and his movement during sleep made it only seem like he was participating. Her heart began to race as her feelings changed from guilt to anger. How dare he be able to sleep through it? Her heart was racing, and she was seesawing between the guilt of having attacked him in his sleep and anger that he could sleep through her advances. His arms came around her as if to comfort her.

He spoke, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." She smacked his arm. "You _are_ awake. I…" Her mind was unable to find the words to explain what she was feeling.

"I'm awake," he replied. She moved off of him to lay at his side. "You seemed to be on a mission, and I wasn't going to interrupt a Marine on a mission. That can be dangerous, you know?" He smiled that flyboy smile at her, and she couldn't be angry with him.

He then kissed her. She was bringing her arm around his waist to cuddle with him when her hand brushed against his erect manhood. He chuckled when she flinched.

He held her close and kissed the top of her head. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just woke up wanting you so much...I can't describe it."

"Probably has something to do with withdrawal."

"What?"

"You do realize that, with the timing of yesterday's activities and the fatigue that the outing caused, we didn't …all day?"

"Yeah… must be withdrawal…Any suggestions of what to do about it?"

He began to kiss down her chin to her exposed breasts. His cool lips kissed the firm mounds, and then his tongue swirled around the nipples, hardening them. He began to suckle one breast while caressing the other, and she moaned softly. He switched breasts, and she let out another soft moan. He brought his lips back to hers for another kiss.

His hand roamed over her hip and down her thigh as they kissed. He kissed down her neck, down between her breasts, and down her abdomen to her bellybutton. He kissed down her left leg from her waist to her ankle while his hand moved slowly down the side of her right leg. Before leaving her ankle area, he forced himself to open his eyes to look closely at her tattoo. The heart shaped tattoo was small and tasteful, and he found it kind of sexy.

Having solved the mystery of the tattoo, he kissed up her right leg while his hand glided up the side of her left leg. Then he kissed from her bellybutton to her breasts, stopping to suckle them once again.

She was so enjoying being touched by him. She didn't know what it was about his technique, but when he swirled his tongue around her nipple, she wanted to scream. She didn't want him to stop, but she didn't know how much longer she could wait for him.

He was now kissing his way up her neck and, finally, his lips fell on hers. Her tongue slipped easily passed his lips and danced inside his mouth with his. He moved to a position above her, keeping his weight off of her. When his lips met hers again, she put her arms around him, pulling him down to her.

He eased his tip inside her. She closed her eyes as he did so. He slid in a little farther. Her body writhed under him. She moaned as he continued to slowly enter her until, finally, his entire length had penetrated her.

He wondered what she was thinking.

If she was thinking at all, it was how good his loving her made her feel. Her body tensed around him, and he pulled out just a little and pushed right back in. With her lifting to match his rhythm, he wasn't going to be able to hold on long. He pulled out a little bit more than before and pushed back in. He pulled out completely, and a disappointed look appeared in her eyes. He thrust himself quickly back inside of her. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. However, in this act of pulling out and thrusting back in quickly, he found that it sent her head back, caused her eyes to close and a moan to escape from her lips.

He repeated his actions. First, out a little and in, out a little more and in, all the way out and slowly back in. First, out a little and in, out a little more and in, all the way out and quickly back in. A few more strokes in and out, and she let out a louder moan than before.

He began to repeat the motions again, but lost track of the order as he began to feel the effects of his motions building within him. He closed his eyes, trying to focus and slow the pace. There was no hope for him when her hips began to thrust up to meet his more quickly, causing him to moan.

Her hands began to move up and down his back, and she pulled him to her. Her back arched as he increased the frequency and strength of his thrusts. Their breathing quickened. Her body tensed around his shaft, and he heard the sounds of her fulfillment escape her lips. A couple of strokes later, his body released itself inside of her.

He rolled to her side, bringing her to him, and they rested there, face to face, kissing and cuddling until they drifted back to sleep.

***********

After three days of planned activities, Mac had intentionally planned nothing for today. When they woke again, it was mid-morning. They ordered the item listed as the 'honeymoon brunch' from the room service menu. When the trays arrived, it was finger sandwiches, sliced vegetables, and strawberries and whipped cream. They ate a few items until Mac, offering to share the strawberry from her mouth, led him back to bed.

Lovemaking and naps were the primary activity of the day, but they did decide to leave their room for dinner.

They took a taxi to a local place recommended by the hotel clerk. They ate dinner and went dancing before calling it a night and taking a taxi back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel, they decided to take a moonlight walk on the beach.

It was late when they returned to their room, but it was their honeymoon, so they didn't go immediately to sleep.

Harm used the same rhythm that he'd discovered that she enjoyed this morning when they made love before falling asleep in each other's arms.

**THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2005**

They both started to stir. As they opened their eyes on the new day, it was hard to believe that this would be their last full day here.

They ordered breakfast and made love while they waited for it to arrive. This morning, they ate breakfast on the balcony and enjoyed the view of the ocean.

The activity for today was a day on the beach, complete with a picnic lunch supplied by the hotel. They spent the day on the beach, sometimes under the umbrella and sometimes Mac would take off running down the beach, only to have Harm chase her. His reward for catching her was a giggle and a quick kiss or two.

They returned to the hotel towards the dinner hour, having had a great time in the sun: laughing, running, swimming and sometimes just sitting and relaxing.

Once back in the privacy of their room, they spent their last night in paradise taking a bath together, making love and enjoying just being alone with each other.


	40. Chapter 40

**PART SEVEN – Back to the Real World **

**FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2005**

Mac hadn't slept well knowing that, this morning, it would be time to leave this paradise and go back to the real world.

Harm had awakened alone in bed and found Mac on the balcony, watching the sun slowly come up over the water. He'd joined her on the balcony and stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her and, together, they'd watched the sunrise.

After the sun had come up, they'd moved inside and spent time loving each other before gathering up their things, checking out of the hotel and catching the shuttle to the airport.

The flight back had been uneventful, as had been the stop at baggage claim and the rental car desk. The traffic back to the apartment, however, was another story. Several accidents were making traveling the beltway a long and frustrating adventure. They were definitely back in the real world.

A call to Mattie while they were stuck in traffic verified that, as planned, Jennifer had been taking her to school and Julia had been picking her up as usual, and she was home waiting for them.

It took them another half hour after the call to get to the grocery store closest to their DC apartment. The traffic had been rough, and making dinner was a way for Harm to relax.

Another plus of Harm offering to cook dinner was that, the next few days were going to be busy and they were probably going to be doing a lot of eating out, so a dinner at home before the kitchen items were packed up would be nice.

Harm was able to shake off his traffic tension by cooking, and dinner was just the three of them. After dinner, Harm's parents stopped by. Trish and Frank had gone up to see Harm's grandmother in Pennsylvania, and had hugs and well wishes to deliver to Harm and Mac from his grandmother.

After delivering the words of wisdom that his grandmother had sent and the photo album of Harm's grandparents and his father as a little boy, the conversations varied during the remainder of their visit. The last discussion they had before they decided that they should leave the newlyweds alone was about how they could help with the packing and moving tomorrow.

Shortly after Harm's parents had left, Mattie, armed with the trinkets that Mac had retrieved from her luggage, excused herself to get ready for bed.

When you're newlyweds and you're left alone, you have only one thing on your mind. So, it wasn't long after Mattie left them that they were in bed making love and, then exhausted, fell asleep.

**SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm went over to Jennifer's to get Mattie for breakfast. When Harm and Mattie got back to the apartment, Mac had started the coffee and the French toast.

The plan for the day was simple. Go to Mac's Georgetown apartment to pack it up and move it over to Harm's for the movers to pick up on Wednesday. With Harm in her life now, Mac no longer felt the need to leave all her belongs behind and start over. The lease wasn't up on her apartment until the first of the year, but with Varese leaving for tour date obligations in a few days, it made more sense to pay the remaining three months to move everything at once. Varese agreed with Mac's logic and moved to a hotel while they were honeymooning so that Mac could pack up her apartment when she returned.

Since Mac had moved a few furniture pieces and all of her personal items over when she'd moved into Harm's, the packing and moving wasn't as big a job as it sounded. Even though the job wasn't as big as it could've been, it still took most of the day.

Harm's parents, Mattie, Harm and Mac were all tired when they put the last of Mac's things in the storage area downstairs. Frank suggested that he take everyone out to dinner, and everyone loaded up into Frank's rented SUV to go.

When they returned after dinner, Frank and Trish just dropped the other three off, saying that they'd done more physical labor today than they were used to doing in a single day, so they were going back to their hotel and going to bed. They'd be back after a good breakfast in the morning to help pack the loft.

Everyone was tired, but no one more so than Mattie. Harm and Mac hadn't wanted to exclude her from packing, but they'd been concerned that it would be physically too much for her and had watched for signs of fatigue, but hadn't seen any. In fact, until dinner, she'd seemed fine, so when she said that she wanted to go get some sleep for tomorrow, they weren't surprised. They were tired, so she had to be, too. With Mattie safely inside Jennifer's place, Harm and Mac went to their apartment for the night.

They shared a couple of gentle kisses once inside their place before they strolled hand in hand to the bedroom. She slipped from her clothing, and he removed his. They climbed into bed and cuddled up to each other to sleep.

A few moments later, Harm broke the silence. "Why is it that I'm not sleepy once I get into bed with you?"

Mac kissed him. "I don't know, but the same thing happens to me when I get into bed with you," she said with an exaggerated puzzled look on her face.

The newlyweds then made love before letting their bodies get the rest they needed.

**SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2005**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm went to get Mattie for breakfast, but Jennifer said that Mattie had been up late the night before. Jennifer said that, when she'd asked Mattie about not being able to sleep, Mattie had said that she was thinking.

Jennifer shared her own theory for Mattie's insomnia. Jennifer believed that the packing yesterday had made the move more of a reality to Mattie, because Mattie had made the comment that she wondered where she was going to live if the judge decided on Monday that she couldn't live with Harm or Mac.

After sharing her thoughts, Harm agreed with Jennifer that it might be a good idea to let Mattie sleep in. They also agreed that Jennifer would let Mattie know that Harm had been over to get her, so she was to join him and Mac when she got up.

Harm returned to his apartment to have breakfast with Mac. She was a little surprised that it was going to be just the two of them this morning and worried that perhaps Mattie had overdone it yesterday.

Over breakfast, Harm put Mac's worries about Mattie's physical health to rest by sharing the information with her that Jennifer had shared with him. They agreed that they needed to talk to Mattie about the upcoming hearing, but they knew that it might be difficult for her to have an open and honest discussion with his parents present, so they decided to talk to Mattie after his parents had left for the day and hoped that an opportunity to bring up the subject would present itself.

With breakfast over, Harm asked, "My parents will be here to help in about an hour, so do you want to shower first?"

Mac's thoughts immediately turned to her fantasy of them taking a shower together. "We don't have to take turns...the shower_ is _big enough for two."

He raised his eyebrow in trademark fashion at her suggestion.

Mac laughed at the expression on his face. "What do you say to a little you wash my back and I'll wash yours?" Mac asked before turning and dashing to the shower with Harm not far behind.

**IN THE SHOWER**

Harm worked the bar of soap between his hands until his palms contained a soapy lather. He rubbed the lather over her body. Instead of stepping back under the water to rinse, she stepped forward, put her arms up around his neck and pressed her soapy body into his.

Mac smiled at him, and then she lathered his body with hers in a combination wiggle and rub motion. How was it that, when he giggled, it didn't sound 'girlie,' it sounded sexy? Mac thought as his laugh filled the air.

Harm stepped forward, putting them under the cascading water that rinsed away the soap while their lips came together for a kiss that heated her to the core.

Mac knew that they were expecting company, so she pulled away, but she couldn't let go. Water ran between them, washing away the last of the lather from their bodies. She kissed him - he kissed her.

As they kissed, their bodies moved together until Mac felt the cool tiles of the shower against her back. It was then that she knew that her fantasy about the two of them being together in the shower was about to come true.

With Harm's body leaning heavily against hers, holding her firmly in place, she was secure in making her next move. Mac lifted her legs and wrapped them around him. The minutes that followed left her with a fond memory. Fantasy was no longer needed.

**AFTER THEIR SHOWER**

When Harm's parents arrived, Harm and Mac were dressed. Mac was in the bedroom, packing clothes and other items, while Harm had done the breakfast dishes and was packing the last of the living room items. Mac had packed some of her clothing and non-essential items in the week prior to the wedding, so the living room, for instance, had only a few pictures left to pack to have the room ready.

Some items weren't going to be packed. For instance, since Harm had been told not to take his electrical appliances to Europe because the electrical current was different, his small kitchen appliances, like toaster and coffee maker, were packed and downstairs so that Mac could take them, and leave those items of hers here. They'd come up with several other things, such as with the purchase of a new bed for the London flat, so one of the beds could be left here to make this a sleepover spot if they needed to come to DC for any reason.

By mid-morning, Mattie made an appearance, but she didn't look like she was feeling well, so they suggested that she go back to bed and rest. Harm told her that he'd come over to get her for lunch. He also told her that he thought that they'd be done with packing by then, and he'd been right.

Harm's parents offered to take everyone to lunch, but Harm and Mac declined the offer, reminding them that Mattie's custody hearing was tomorrow and explaining that, now that the packing was finished, they felt strongly that they have some family time together, just the three of them.

Trish and Frank understood, but Trish had one thing to do before she they left today. Standing to leave, Trish pulled a familiar, square, white box out of her purse.

"I'll let you pack this last item wherever you think best. I wanted you to have it, but if I'd given it to you at the wedding, you couldn't have used it for something borrowed," Trish said as she pushed the box at Mac.

Mac took the box from her mother-in- law's hand, and then Trish and Mac hugged.

Before Trish hugged her son, she had a few words for him. "Harm, your father would have loved her. He'd be very proud of you."

After a hug between mother and son, and a handshake between Harm and Frank, his parents left for the day.

Mattie was helping Jennifer pack when Harm came over to get her for lunch. Harm and Mac had agreed on a gift for Mattie to be given to her before the hearing tomorrow, but based on what Jennifer had said this morning, they felt that they should give it to her over lunch...and where do you take a teenage girl who's a little depressed for lunch? The food court at the mall, of course.

**THE FOOD COURT**

The food court isn't an easy place for practically a vegetarian to find a meal, but Harm was able to find something. After they'd finished eating, it seemed to be the perfect time to have the conversation that they'd wanted to have.

Harm started. "Mattie, we thought, with all the changes going on in your life, you might have a few questions or concerns, and we wanted you to have time to ask us anything that you wanted or needed to know."

Mattie smiled at him for a moment and then the smile faded. "How likely do you think it is that the judge will give me to you tomorrow?"

Harm answered. "I think the chances are very good that the court will release you to us."

"But they could say no," Mattie said sadly.

"They could..." Mac answered. "...but it isn't likely. We had two home visits in the last three months, and we did fine. You've kept all of your doctor's appointments and you've made progress in your recovery while you've been in my care, so it's unlikely that they won't let us have custody."

"If they say no, I don't have anywhere else to go. Jennifer's moving to San Diego, too, so I'll have to go back to that foster home. I don't want to go back there." Tears had started to roll down her cheeks.

Harm handed her a napkin to dry her eyes. "I really don't think that'll happen, but if the court does rule that way, then you'll go. We'll petition the court again and again until they see things our way, okay?"

Mattie nodded while drying her tears. Mac produced a small gift wrapped box from her purse and set it on the table near Mattie.

"Harm and I wanted to give you something, and it took some debating before we decided on what the gift should be, but once we saw this, we knew that it was the right one."

"We were going to give it to you tomorrow, but it seems right that we give it to you now. It doesn't matter what the judge says tomorrow, because we're a family whether he makes it legal or not," Harm added.

Mattie pulled the wrapping paper off the box and turned the box over to drop the black velvet box inside into her palm. Mattie opened the little velvet box to reveal a diamond ring.

Mac spoke, "It's a promise ring and, most of the time, it's given by a young man to tell a girl that he promises that someday he'll give her a wedding ring. For you, it's a promise that, no matter what the judge says tomorrow, we promise that we'll keep trying to get custody. It's also a promise that you'll always be part of our family, no matter what."

Mattie was smiling from ear to ear as she slipped the gold ring with a single small diamond mounted in the center on her finger.

Harm broke the moment. "We'd better get out of here since you promised Jennifer that we'd help her pack."

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

**JENNIFER'S APARTMENT**

They returned to the apartment building, and Mac helped Mattie pack a suitcase for traveling and box up the rest of her things.

Harm helped Jennifer until Mattie and Mac had finished with Mattie's stuff, and then they joined Harm and Jennifer in finishing the packing of Jennifer's stuff.

Everyone could tell that Mattie was feeling better. They could see it in her posture and in her eyes.

They took a brief break to eat dinner and, by bedtime, they'd finished packing up Jennifer's place, too.

Before Harm and Mac left Jennifer's apartment for the night, Mattie gave each one of them a big hug and said good night.

**HARM AND MAC'S APARTMENT**

With the fate of their family hanging on the decision of a mere mortal man, they weren't in the mood for anything more than conversation tonight.

They hadn't discussed where Mattie should live if they got joint custody. In emails and during phone conversations, things had been said that implied that they were on the same page, but they needed to be sure that they agreed on where Mattie was going to live before they appeared in court tomorrow.

The most logical choice was that Mattie would move to California with Mac since it was Harm's hope that he'd be able to get a co-location billet and move to San Diego soon himself.

Once in bed, the conversation changed to when the three of them would be able to see each other again if a billet for him didn't open up soon.

Since Christmas was three months away, if Harm hadn't been transferred by then, they decided that Mac and Mattie would fly to London for Christmas.

After their talk, a couple of kisses and muttered good nights to each other, they tried to get some rest in preparation for tomorrow.


	41. Chapter 41

**PART EIGHT – Saying Her Goodbyes **

**MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2005**

**BLACKSBURG, VA**

The hearing wasn't until 1100, but they had to drive to Blacksburg, so there was no sleeping in this morning. In fact, they didn't take the time to even have breakfast until they'd traveled halfway there and could be sure that they wouldn't be late.

The judge asked a few questions before rendering his decision with a big smile.

"I sometimes wonder if I make the right decision when I'm up here, but with this case, I'm sure that I'm making the right one. I hereby grant joint permanent custody of Matilda Johnson to Harmon and Sarah Rabb. Take care of each other." The gavel fell against the block of wood on the bench, and court was dismissed.

Harm and Mac let out a huge sigh of relief when the gavel came down, and it surprised them to discover that, since they'd waited for so many judges' decisions as lawyers, they'd been holding their breath while the judge had been speaking.

With the hearing dismissed, they all stood and hugged each other.

It took longer to sign the papers than it did to hear the decision, and the drive out to Blacksburg had taken three times as long as hearing the decision and signing the papers put together.

Once the trio had left the courthouse, they made their way to Harm's rented 4-door sedan.

Harm shook his head in disbelief as they made their way to his rental car. It wasn't a minivan, but it said 'family man' just the same, he thought as he watched Mattie settle herself into the backseat, all smiles now that they were officially a family. Seeing Mac slipping into the passenger seat after closing Mattie's door, Harm folded himself into the driver's seat of the sedan.

"You know, ladies, we should have some lunch, and then, if there's any place that you'd like to stop on the way back, we have time to do it." 

Mattie spoke timidly, "While we're still out here, can we stop by Grace Aviation and my old house?"

Mac had reservations about Mattie going to those places because of the memories and emotions that they might bring up, though she didn't voice her concerns or object to going to either location, but Harm saw the doubt in her eyes. However, he also knew that Mattie wouldn't have asked to go if she didn't feel compelled to go, and he thought that they should honor her request.

Harm started the car and backed out of the parking spot. "Okay, lunch first and, since I haven't seen Sarah in awhile, we'll make Grace Aviation our second stop."

Harm wasn't surprised that Mattie persuaded Mac that they needed pizza for lunch. So, with a two to one vote, pizza it was for lunch. Something told Harm that he should get used to being out-voted like this as he drove to Mattie's favorite pizza place, which was located a few minutes from the courthouse.

They lingered over lunch, savoring it, but not talking about much of anything.

As promised when they left the pizzeria, Harm drove towards the airfield where Grace Aviation was located.

They were within a few blocks of the airfield when Harm slowed the car. Though Mattie had asked to come here, as her dad, he felt that he needed to check to make sure that she hadn't changed her mind before they reached their destination.

"Mattie, are you sure that you want to see the place?" Harm asked, concerned.

"You mean, do I think that I can handle going back to the scene of the accident?"

"It can be rough," Harm stated truthfully, knowing how he'd felt the first time he'd been back on a carrier after his ramp strike, and it hadn't even been the carrier on which he'd had his crash.

"I'm sure that I'm ready to try, but I know that I don't want to do it alone," Mattie spoke honestly.

"If it gets to be too much, give me the word and we'll leave," Harm said, making sure that she knew that there was no pressure from them for her to do this.

"Thanks, Harm," Mattie replied in response to his parental concern.

Harm nodded and returned to the posted speed limit. Soon the airfield came into view, and Harm drove towards the Grace Aviation hanger where the office was located.

**GRACE AVIATION**

They'd exited the car and were looking around the hanger. There was no sign of anyone and no sign of anything that Mattie would recognize as _her_ Grace Aviation.

Mac knew that this was one area with which only Harm could help Mattie, so she had to wonder if she wasn't in the way by being here with them.

"Harm, I'll stay close to the office to see if anyone comes around. You two can go check on your plane and do whatever else you need to do."

"Thanks," the two said in unison, both understanding that Mac was intentionally staying behind to give them some time together.

Harm let Mattie get a few paces in front of him before slipping his arm around Mac's waist and placing an appreciative kiss on her cheek.

"Harm, she needs something from this visit. I'm not sure that she'll find it without you. Until she asked to come here, I hadn't thought about how her crash might affect her feelings about flying to California in a few days. I can hold her hand on the plane, but I think it's going to be up to you to help her get on the plane in the first place," Mac whispered.

Harm gave her waist a little squeeze before pulling his arm back and turning to walk away. He took a few steps and stopped. He looked back over his shoulder from the doorway. "You're pretty smart. You know that?"

Mac smiled at him for the compliment.

Harm caught up with Mattie. Neither said anything as they walked towards the hanger where Harm's plane was stored. Nothing was said until they began to give his vintage plane the once over, looking for any signs of damage.

"Harm, have you ever crashed your plane?"

"This plane, no, but I've been in four crashes. Of course, naval aviators prefer the term uncontrolled landing to the word crash. I took a plane into some trees a little more than six months before I met you. I dumped a Navy F-14 into the Atlantic four years ago. I got shot down in a Russian MIG seven years ago. I think the only word for the first one is crash, though. The Tomcat that I was piloting hit the ramp on my attempt to land on a carrier."

"None of them killed you, obviously, but did you get badly hurt any of those times?"

"I had a concussion after parking the plane in the trees. I had stage-four hypothermia after the dive into the ocean. I was sore form ejecting out of the MIG. I didn't have injuries like yours after the ramp strike, but I was in bad shape for awhile. It took me months to recover. A crash like my ramp strike or your crash does more to your head than it does to your body, though."

"So it's normal to feel like you never want to fly again even if, before the crash, you didn't think that you could live without flying?"

"Yeah, it's normal. Some people never go back...some people do." Harm paused before asking her the big question. "Do you think that you'll be able to get on the plane on Thursday?"

"Why did you keep going back after you crashed?" Mattie asked, unable to answer his question, at least not yet.

"I probably wouldn't have gone back after the first one, but my grandmother wouldn't let me give up. She pulled the tarp off of Sarah here, and the thought of flying again started to build in my head. She didn't push me or lecture me, but she led me to the answers just the same. Since then, no matter what's happened, I've never doubted how much being in the air means to me."

"You named your plane after Mac?" Mattie asked.

"No, after my grandmother."

"They have the same first name…that's kind of weird, isn't it?" Mattie asked.

"It is kind of strange, but they're two of the strongest women I know, so the name fits them both," Harm explained.

"Well, this Sarah looks to be fine, so maybe we should go get Mac and get out of here."

Harm's arm was around Mattie's shoulders as they left the hangar. They'd just cleared the hanger doors when Mattie asked. "If I'm scared on the flight, do you think that Mac will hold my hand?"

"I'm sure she will if that's what you need," Harm assured Mattie.

Mattie nodded. After they'd taken a few more steps, Mattie stated her reason for needing to come here today.

"I need to fly again to know that I can, but Grace Aviation is over for me. I just needed to say goodbye. Thanks for bringing me...and for being here with me," she added.

Harm squeezed her shoulders. "You're welcome, but you don't need to thank me. I'm just glad that I was here and you wanted me along."

They walked the rest of the way back to the office in silence and entered the office from the opposite side.

Mac was sitting behind a desk, looking bored when they arrived. She'd actually been sitting there wondering how Mattie was handling all this and was glad to see that neither one of them seemed to be upset when they returned. Mac had to assume that, either they hadn't talked or they'd talked and things had gone well. She'd ask Harm when the opportunity presented itself.

**GRACE/JOHNSON HOME**

**BLACKSBURG, VA **

They allowed Mattie to go up the steps and enter the house alone. Unaware of what she needed from visiting here, they stood ready to be there for her if she needed them.

Once Mattie had entered, Harm and Mac moved up the steps. While standing on the porch, Mac seized the opportunity to put her arm around Harm, and he responded in kind.

At Harm's side, she snuggled against him. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she just needs to say her goodbyes."

Harm placed a soft kiss on her lips and, before their lips parted, they heard Mattie calling for Harm from inside the house.

Harm dropped his arms from around Mac's waist and went into the house. Mac waited for a few seconds before following him inside.

Mattie was standing in the living room and saw Harm coming towards her. As she made a waving gesture with her hand towards the stairs leading up, she said, "I don't think that I want to try that many steps. Would you go up for me to see if he's here?"

Harm had made it up the first couple of steps when Mac entered the living room. "Mattie, are you okay?"

Mattie hadn't heard Mac approaching, so she was a little startled. "Yeah, I'm fine. I thought if my dad were here, I could say goodbye."

Mac couldn't help it. She reached out without thinking and rubbed Mattie's shoulder. It was a simple gesture, but it meant a great deal to Mattie, even though she didn't say so.

Mattie was looking towards the stairs where she'd sent Harm. A few minutes passed, and Harm was almost halfway down the steps before he saw the inquisitive look on Mattie's face. He shook his head no. Mattie nodded in understanding that her father wasn't there and turned towards the front door.

She walked to the mantle and removed the picture of her parents and the picture of her mother holding her when she was a baby. "He won't miss them, and I want to be able to remember that things used to be different."

Mac relied on her sixth sense to guide her actions while Harm made sure that Mattie made it down the front steps and back to the car okay. Mac's sense didn't fail her. She spotted a small, two-door cabinet in the corner and knew that it would contain what she was after.

Mac walked over to it and retrieved a leather bound family bible, a family photo album and a scrapbook. Mac had a single moment of shame when she removed the family items from the home. She knew from her own childhood experiences, however, that Tom would probably lose everything to the bank and never think to remove these treasures from the house and, therefore, Mattie would lose these things that would later bring a smile to her face when she reflected on them.

Mac emerged from the house and discovered that Harm and Mattie were already in the car. She motioned for Harm to open the trunk. She'd hold onto these items that she'd taken for now and give them to Mattie when she was ready for them. Mac then closed the trunk and joined the others in the car.

**AFTER THEY LEFT THE GRACE/JOHNSON HOME **

The car ride back into Washington from Blacksburg was quiet. Harm and Mac held hands in the front seat while Mattie slipped on her headphones and listened to her MP3 player.

Harm did call his parents during the drive back to ask them to meet them for dinner at one of Harm's favorite restaurants for a little celebration of the fact that Mattie was officially their granddaughter.

After enjoying a now official family dinner, it was time for goodbyes before they left the restaurant since Harm's parents were returning to San Diego tomorrow.

Once they'd arrived back at the apartment, Mattie wasted no time in going to tell Jennifer that she was definitely going to San Diego, too.

Mattie hadn't slept well for the last couple of nights, worrying about the way the judge would rule today and about the move, so it was no surprise when she started yawning early in the evening and said that she was tired and excused herself to go to bed.

Harm and Mac found themselves alone again. They started to watch a movie, but the movie couldn't hold Harm's attention. He began to kiss her neck. She responded by turning to kiss his lips. Soon they were making out like two teenagers on the couch. Mac pulled off Harm's shirt, and he removed hers. "We won't be able to do this on the couch when we're living together with our teenage daughter," Mac reminded him.

"Good point, but since our daughter's next door, let's be sure that we don't give her a show," Harm said before making his way to the door, locking it and then returning to Mac.

Inevitably, they made love on the couch before going to bed.


	42. Chapter 42

**PART NINE – Starting with Three, not Two **

**TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER, 27, 2005**

Harm awoke when he sensed someone's eyes on him, and his eyelids began to flutter. Mac placed a barely-there kiss on his lips, and he opened his eyes to see her staring intently at him.

"Did you get any sleep?" he asked.

"Yes, but I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I couldn't take my eyes off my wedding ring at first, and then I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

"Your wedding ring was keeping you awake?" Harm asked with the hint of a smile.

She ignored his question to direct the conversation to her point. "Did you pick my three-diamond wedding ring for a particular reason?"

He thought for a moment about his trip to the jewelry store. He remembered selecting the channel set three-diamond ring, but couldn't remember any special reason why he'd picked it like he had with her engagement ring. So he offered her the only thought that he remembered having before he'd purchased it. "I thought it went well with the three-stone engagement ring. Why?"

"I was thinking that you might have picked it because you had confidence that we were going to get custody of Mattie, and, with Mattie, that means that we're starting out our life together with three and not two."

"Maybe it was a subconscious thing. I hadn't thought of it, but it certainly works," Harm acknowledged.

She had a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, knowing that he'd given her the rings on her finger. She placed another barely-there kiss on his lips. "I love you."

He slid his hand behind her head and rested his palm there. "And I love you," he said as he pulled her head towards his and kissed her gently at first, and then his tongue slid across her lower lip, asking for entrance, but instead of granting it, she put her palm against his chest and pushed. He didn't attempt to keep her in a kiss that she didn't want, but he was a little confused.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Don't you think that we should be cutting back? I wouldn't want you to get tired of me."

Harm wasn't sure if Mac was being serious or teasing him, so he answered her sincerely. "I'll never get tired of you." He paused and, in a joking tone, added, "I might get too old to do anything about it, but I'll never get tired of wanting to be with you."

Her shy girl smile appeared, but her actions were far from shy as she rushed her lips to his with her mouth slightly open, prepared to accept his tongue from the start.

After lovemaking, it was time to shower and dress.

After Mac was dressed, she went to make sure that Mattie was up while Harm showered.

With the apartment packed up, the first order of business for the newly formed Rabb family was to have breakfast.

Over breakfast at the restaurant, they went over their to-do list, organizing the tasks in a way that they hoped would guarantee that they'd complete the list.

By the time they'd lost daylight, everything on the list had been completed, including taking Mattie out of school, returning Mac's leased Corvette and meeting with the wedding photographer to look over proofs.

With Jennifer's apartment packed up, too, they called her to see if she wanted to meet them for dinner.

A question from Jennifer during dinner changed the mood at the table. Harm and Mac were sure that Jennifer had just been trying to make conversation when she'd asked if Harm's parents had a place lined up for Mac and Mattie to stay or if they'd be doing their own looking when they arrived.

Whether it was the question, the question on top of the judge's decision yesterday or Mattie's goodbyes to her past, the look on Mattie's face when Jennifer asked the question said that the fact that she was in Harm and Mac's custody and that she was moving had finally sunk in.

When Harm's parents had found out that Mac's new office would be in the Naval Reserve Center just outside the gates of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar, they'd offered to let Mac and Mattie stay with them while Mac got settled in at work. It sounded like their best option since the navy lodge and transition housing were farther south, and their home in La Jolla would put Mac closer to work. The other plus to staying with Harm's parents was in already having an address in the area where Mac would probably be looking for a place to live anyway, and then Mattie wouldn't have to changed schools again when they found a place.

Though she had no reason to believe that it would be a bad experience, staying with Harm's parents, people whom neither she nor Mattie knew well or had ever had a relationship with before a few days ago, was the downside to the arrangement.

Since Frank had already placed a call to a realtor friend of his to start looking for them, Mac had a plan for them to use the few days that she had before she took charge of her new command to look for a place of their own. So, if everything went as planned, the stay with Harm's parents would be a short one.

After dinner, everyone returned to their apartments.

The Rabb family knew that their time together was coming to an end, so they watched a couple of movies, trying to avoid the inevitable separation for as long as possible, but too soon it was time to say good night so that everyone could get to bed.

Mac had undressed and was waiting under the covers in bed for Harm when he came out of the bathroom in his boxers.

Her face was very serious when she looked at him and asked, "Does your wedding ring fit okay? Not too loose? Not too tight?"

"Yeah, it fits fine, why?" He was wondering why she'd asked now, ten days after she'd put it on his finger.

Her serious face softened. "I was just checking. I should warn you that some women are attracted to men with wedding rings."

He slipped into bed next to his wife. "I already know the answer if I'm approached."

"You do?" Mac asked, surprised that he had an answer…or maybe she was surprised that he'd thought about such a situation happening.

He kissed her neck and whispered his response in her ear. "I'll just tell her that my wife says that she doesn't share."

His answer told her that he'd been able to quickly draw on something that she'd said to him in the past as a witty response and that the scenario that she'd presented hadn't been something to which he'd given any thought.

"If that doesn't work, you can tell her that your wife's a Marine and that she'll kick her six." Harm grinned. "I'd wipe that grin off your face, Sailor. I'd kick yours, too."

His grin didn't fade, but he pulled away. "I guess the hot brunette that I'm after tonight will have to go then."

She reached for him and pulled him to her. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered before kissing him soundly.

"All teasing aside, you know that you don't have anything to worry about. I may have dragged my feet in getting to this point, but I wouldn't risk losing what I have with you," Harm said softly when their kiss came to a natural close.

Mac kissed him passionately and pulled away. "You know, for all the missteps, misunderstandings, miscommunications and whatever else you want to call it in getting to this point, we've never had any trouble communicating when we aren't using words."

"So let's stop talking," Harm said with an arched eyebrow.

Their lips came together as their bodies would soon as well.

Their interest in satisfying each other allowed their minds to let go of all the thoughts of today's activities and the coming days' events in order to focus on what they were doing.

Curled up and tangled in the sheets, their lovemaking had been physically taxing, though enjoyable and fulfilling. They were relaxed and exhausted, allowing sleep to claim them quickly.

**WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2005**

Harm and Mac were awake early enough to make love before they needed to get up for the day.

Today, the movers were coming to pack the boxes into a moving truck that would take their things to California.

Harm's first task of the morning was to go get an assortment of pastries for breakfast.

After he'd returned, eaten a bran muffin and washed it down with a cup of coffee, he moved Mattie's things from Jennifer's apartment into his in an effort to keep Jennifer and Mattie's boxes from getting mixed up, because Jennifer's things were being picked up today, too.

The movers arrived around nine, loaded Jennifer's apartment first and conveniently finished her apartment in time to take a lunch break. With the loading of her apartment completed, Jennifer volunteered to make a lunch run to bring back Chinese food for everyone.

The movers returned after lunch and loaded Harm and Mac's apartment except for the few things that they'd agreed to leave behind. The movers had everything loaded and were gone by late afternoon.

Due to space issues in the apartment, some of the things that were to be left in the apartment were in the storage area downstairs, so it took Harm about half an hour to move the items upstairs and into place. Mac helped Harm move the furniture, while Mattie packed usable refrigerator items, like half a bottle of ketchup into a box. The items in the box could've been thrown away, but it seemed to them to be a waste of money and food when so many people were starving, and since Harriet agreed with them, they were going to take the items to Harriet to either use herself or distribute to someone else who could use them.

The last two things to do here were to take out the trash and load the box of usable food items into the car.

From the apartment, they went to check into a hotel. Mattie was thrilled to have a room of her own. She'd probably have thought 'yuk' if she'd let herself think about why she was being allowed this sudden independence. She had a room of her own because her parents were newlyweds and were spending their last night together for what could be months.

After they'd taken what they needed from the car and looked over their rooms, it was time to head to Bud and Harriet's. Harriet had invited Harm, Mac, Mattie and Jennifer to dinner as a way for her to say goodbye to her friends.

As usual, Harriet's meal was delicious and her dinner party was a success. Harm saw Mac whisper something to Mattie just before Harriet asked if anyone wanted dessert, and he found it interesting that both Mac and Mattie declined it. At the hotel later, he'd find out what she'd said.

After hugs and goodbyes at the Roberts' home that had left both Harriet and Mac near tears, they left for the hotel.

They took Mattie to her room first. Even though her room was right across the hall, her new parents wanted to talk to her about hotel safety and make sure that she was locked in for the night before they left for their room.

Once in Mattie's room, Mac asked Mattie if she'd like to have a banana split. While they waited for room service to deliver the dessert, Mattie got a subtle speech about not opening the door for anyone and how to call their room from hers if she needed anything.

Once the room service delivery had been made, Mac and Harm left Mattie to enjoy her dessert and watch television, and they went on to their room.

Once in their room, Harm verified what he suspected. "You bribed her with a banana split."

"I wouldn't call it a bribe. I'd call it a treat, or better yet, exposure to some of the finer things in life. While you were doing the manual labor of bringing up our bags after we checked in, I read the room service menu. When I saw the dessert section, it struck me that room service would be a pretty cool thing to an almost seventeen year old who's never had it before. She's been through so much. She'll never forget the bad things that she's been through and she shouldn't because it'll make her stronger in the long run, but she should have good times to remember, too."

Mac had that look in her eyes again, the one that she'd had in their room on their wedding night. Harm knew what it was now. His smart, beautiful, sexy, opinionated, strong-willed, faithful friend, outstanding lawyer and fine Marine was a heart's-been-broken, sometimes vulnerable, sometimes insecure woman who was trying not to let the hurts of her little-girl past repeat itself in her life as a woman…and if Mac could stop it, it wouldn't happen in Mattie's life either.

He wanted to wrap the little girl who'd been hurt in his arms, but the woman whom she'd become was in front of him, so he wrapped his arms around her. It was one of those times when you think you should say something, but no words seem to be right.

She seemed to understand the gesture and buried her face in his chest, letting his arms be a protective cocoon around her for few minutes.

When she was ready, she looked up at him and put her palms on the sides of his face, pulling him into a loving yet passionate kiss. After the kiss, Mac pulled from his protective embrace and began to undress, dropping her clothes on the way to the bed as if she were leaving a trail for him to follow.

He wasted no time in doing so, dropping something of his near something of hers on the floor as he moved towards the bed, keeping his eyes on her as he went.

He watched as she exposed more of her skin with each piece of discarded clothing until she was climbing onto the bed with nothing left covering her.

A moment later, he joined her on the bed. He was close to her, but wasn't touching her.

Harm raised his hand to her face, and his index finger traced over her lips before he placed a kiss on them. His hands brushed her hair off her shoulders before he kissed from her earlobe down to her collarbone on both sides. His finger then made a trail from her collarbone down to the valley between her breasts. Mac's breath caught in her throat as he retraced the path between the two points with kisses. Next, his hand caressed one breast, and his finger made a circle around the nipple before he placed kisses there. His tongue then circled her nipple, first of one breast and then the other. His finger made a trail from the valley between her breasts to her bellybutton. His touch was as light as a feather, and it caused her body to pulse with desire. He again followed his fingertip path with kisses. After placing a kiss at her bellybutton, he moved his head up to her face.

As he kissed her lips, his palm moved between her legs, and he rubbed his hand up and down the inside of her thigh. After their kiss ended, he moved to place soft kisses on the inside of her thigh where his palm had just been. His touch warmed her skin, but his kisses set her on fire. His movements were slow and premeditated, and it felt so good to be with him. She moved to give him some of the same attention that he was giving her, but he resisted.

"Tonight, it's about you, not me," he said.

It was probably the most wonderful thing that any man had ever said to her.

Harm didn't want to rush their encounter, but the feel of her skin under his hands and her lips beneath his were causing sensations to the depths of his core, the effects of which were starting to be hard for him to ignore. In fact, the only thing that was preventing him from acting on his growing need was that he wasn't sure if he should pull her onto him or cover her. His answer would come when she breathlessly said his name and tugged on his arm like she'd done the very first time they'd been together.

He covered her body with his as she'd requested. Slowly, he entered her and moved in and out of her with the rhythm that he'd discovered that she'd enjoyed most while they were in the Bahamas. As his breathing became labored, his thrusts into her caused the walls wrapped around him to spasm to the delight of both participants. He couldn't help the moans and groans that escaped his mouth as he was swept away in the moment of their mutual release.

He moved most of himself off of her, but placed his head on her chest with his arm draped across her. He listened to her heartbeat as they both panted in order to cool down from the heat of their joining.

They lay together, not wanting to be apart and not wanting to sleep, as if not sleeping would keep tomorrow from coming.

**THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2005**

They had fallen asleep, although they hadn't stayed in the same position. They'd moved together in their sleep, keeping contact with each other.

He awoke unable to see her face, but he knew that she was awake, too, because she was drawing small circles on his chest with her fingertips. "Mac..."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay!" Mac said curtly.

"You don't want to talk about...what?"

She answered him. "I don't want to talk about goodbyes or planes or -"

He cut her off. "Then let's just lie here until we have to get up."

They did exactly that. They lay together until Mac's internal clock told them that it was time to get ready for another day.

Harm called Mattie's room to get her up while Mac showered, and Mac went over to Mattie's room to make sure that she was ready while Harm showered.

They were able to go to the airport together in Harm's rental car because their flights were leaving within a couple of hours of each other.

They returned the rental car and took a shuttle over to the airport.

Mac and Mattie's plane was scheduled to leave first, and Harm sat between the two of them at their gate. Mac's head rested on one shoulder while Mattie's head leaned against the other.

Mattie heard another passenger ask the woman at the gate how much longer it would be until the flight would be boarding. The response by the airline employee was, "Five minutes."

Mattie took in a deep breath and waited a minute before breaking the silence. "When are we all going to be together again?"

"Mac and I talked about it. If I can't get an assignment that brings me to San Diego before December, she hopes to have her office up and running well enough for the two of you to come to London for Christmas."

The PA system came to life, announcing that their flight was now boarding first class passengers.

Mattie's arm came up and across Harm, and she squeezed his neck, the best hug that she could give him from her seat. "I'm going to miss you."

Harm's arm went around Mattie's shoulders and he squeezed, too. "I'm going to miss you, too."

They fell silent again for a moment, but Mattie couldn't stay that way. "Aren't you going to miss him, Mac?"

Mac's face hadn't been visible to anyone, but when she lifted her head off Harm's shoulder and turned to answer Mattie's question, the tracks from Mac's tears that she'd shed in silence while they'd sat there were apparent.

Mac grasped Harm's leg just above his knee as she responded, "More than I can tell either of you."

Harm lifted his hand to brush away Mac's tears with his thumb the way he had in the past.

The PA announcement that they were now boarding rows cut the moment short. Harm, Mac and Mattie stood.

Neither Harm nor Mac believed in public displays of affection, especially in front of their daughter.

Harm reached for Mac's left hand with his left hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Duty separates us, but my heart is wherever you are," he said softly.

"And my heart is with you," she responded, her tears about to start flowing again.

"Together forever," Harm reminded her.

"Together forever," she replied as she looked at their clasped hands, adorned with their wedding bands.

The PA system came on, announcing the next set of rows to board.

Leave it to a teenager to blow a moment. "It's a good thing that we have to get on a plane, because watching the two of you is like watching a scene in a sappy love story on Lifetime."

Mac sniffled and leaned in close so that she could whisper to Harm. "I haven't said a word, but you'd better watch it or you're going to give your secret away yourself." She was speaking of his secret that he was a romantic.

Harm nodded, placed a brief kiss on her lips and gave her a quick hug. He turned and gave Mattie a hug before stepping aside to let them move towards the line of people who were boarding the plane.

Mattie was brave and marched right onto the plane, impressing Mac with her seemingly fearless approach to this new chapter in her life.

After takeoff and Mattie was settled in with some headphones on and listening to music, Mac reached into her carryon bag, pulled out a legal pad and began to write a letter to Harm.

Mattie had done well during the flight, but her fearless façade disappeared when the pilot announced that their plane was preparing to land at San Diego's airport. She reached for Mac's hand and squeezed it hard at first, and then harder until the plane was safely on the ground and taxiing to the gate.

During the hour and thirty minutes that Harm waited for his plane to board after Mac and Mattie had boarded their flight, he bought a pad of paper and began to write a letter to Mac.

The letters that each of them wrote were a mixture of questions, confessions, apologies and words left unspoken for too long. As they read over what they'd written, they concluded, though by different patterns of thought, that it was more a chronicle of their life together before marriage than a letter. There'd been something liberating about writing it all down. It had taken the sting out of the hurts and focused them on the bond that they'd always shared, though not always admitted to. Sliding their pads of paper down into their carryon bags, it would be clear to both of them that, no matter what they'd written, the only thing that mattered was that their love had won in the end. Perhaps the pages now tucked carefully into their luggage would be sent or perhaps kept in a safe place to show the other on some anniversary years from now.

At the end of the day, 5,489 miles would separate them, but the gold rings on their fingers, given as symbols of their love, would serve as a reminder that distance doesn't keep apart two hearts that belong together.


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER SIX - FAMILY CHRISTMAS **

**PART ONE – Life Coming at You Too Fast **

After arriving at Harm's parents home that Thursday afternoon in September, things started to go downhill almost immediately.

Mac was helping Mattie unpack and started talking to her about enrolling her in school. Mac explained that she planned to take Mattie by the school on Monday to enroll her. Mattie's response had been to argue with Mac about why she needed to start school so soon. Mac held her ground, offering only the added information that she'd really thought it through and that she believed that Mattie did need a couple of days to adjust to the time change of the new time zone, get a chance to check out the beach and look at a few housing options with her that Frank's realtor friend had lined up for her to see, and those were the reasons why she hadn't insisted that they were going to register her for school tomorrow. Mac thought that the matter had been resolved when Mattie quit offering new arguments.

Monday afternoon, Mac took Mattie by the school and enrolled her, and it marked the start of three days of silence when Mattie refused to speak to Mac about anything.

The silent treatment from Mattie, combined with not being able to find a place for them to live in those first few days, had Mac's vision of her 'new life' cracking under the pressure of reality.

Unable to think of anyone she knew and trusted to be her 'blue suit' XO since Bud had turned her down, she'd requested a list of those eligible to be transferred to her command from the JAG office at 32nd Street Naval Station. Since she'd been on leave when the list had arrived at JAG headquarters, she hadn't seen it until she'd arrived at her office on the 5th of October. After checking the list and reviewing their service records, she met with her top two candidates and chose Lt. Commander Warren Clark.

Petty Officer Jennifer Coates was Mac's yeoman, performing the same tasks for Mac as she had for Admiral Chegwidden and General Cresswell.

During the first two weeks, Lt. Graves, who was familiar with the San Diego area, had been particularly helpful, and Mac requested that she be assigned to her office permanently. Mac's request was processed, and Lt. Graves would officially be joining her team by the end of the month and would perform the same duties that Lt. Sims had at JAG headquarters.

Mac hadn't been told what had caused the delay in opening the JLS office and, once behind the desk, she hadn't given it much thought. All she needed to know was that it was her responsibility to make this office a success. Now, if she only knew what her superiors were expecting her to accomplish in order to consider it a success...

The office was a hectic place as her requested staff arrived and remained that way until the end of October when everyone had reported for duty and most had had time to settle into the area and their new positions.

The month of October was hectic at the office and frustrating at home. Living with Harm's parents wasn't unpleasant, but Mac was used to being on her own, and the combination of his parents and the on again off again friction with Mattie over little things had begun to make Mac feel boxed in.

At the end of October, Mac and Mattie finally found a condo to rent. It took ten days after the rental agreement was signed to make arrangements for the furniture to be delivered, but, on the night of November 11th, they were finally sleeping in their own place. Mac hoped that the new place would allow her and Mattie to have their own space, easing the tensions between them - the current bone of contention being Mattie getting her driver's license.

It was during the phone call the weekend after they'd moved that Harm brought up the subject of Christmas. Harm hadn't received any news of a transfer that would relocate him to San Diego, so, with Christmas six weeks away, it was time to start making plans.

Mac said that she wasn't sure if she could make it. The office seemed so busy and too unsettled for her to leave it. Mac didn't think that, with all the time that he'd spent away from his office in the few months that he'd been there that it was likely that he could get away again so soon, but she wanted to see him, so she asked him about him coming to them. He said that he'd love to, but with the leave that he'd taken to sit at the hospital with Mattie after her accident and his recent leave for the wedding and honeymoon, he didn't have enough leave time left to make the trip.

Harm continued to talk about a Christmas visit from 'his girls' when he called, but Mac's schedule was still up in the air. Since Mac felt that it would be good for Mattie to spend some time with Harm, they began to discuss Mattie going to see him during her winter break from school, whether Mac could make the trip or not. Harm had no problem with Mattie coming for a visit, even if Mac couldn't make the trip, but the question was, would Mattie be able to fly alone?

Mattie's age wasn't a factor, but they weren't sure that Mattie could handle a flight by herself after the trauma of her plane crash. She'd flown to San Diego, but she'd been with Mac. In the end, they agreed that a flight between San Diego and London was definitely too long a trip for Mattie to take by herself at this time.

After their move to the condo, Trish and Frank asked that Mac and Mattie come over to dinner once a week. A couple of times in the last week, they'd picked up Mattie from the condo to have dinner with them because Mac was working so late.

Trish and Frank had noticed the tension building between Mac and Mattie while they'd been living in their home, but had no idea why and didn't think that it was their place to ask...until Thanksgiving.

Trish and Frank had invited Mac, Mattie and Jennifer to their home for Thanksgiving dinner. The tension between Mac and Mattie weighed the room down in gloom. By the end of the meal, Trish had decided that she could stand by no longer without asking what was going on between them. So as not to make too big a scene, Trish asked Mac to help clear the dishes. It wasn't a usual request, but Mac certainly had no problem with helping. Trish picked up a stack of dishes and so did Mac as she followed Trish into the kitchen. However, Mac soon found out that it had been a ploy that Trish had used to ask about the situation between her and Mattie.

Mac told Trish that Mattie didn't seem to be transitioning well to her new life. Mac reminded Trish of the three days of silence that Mattie had given her over enrolling her in school that had happened while they'd been living with Trish and Frank. Mac explained to Trish that she'd talked to Mattie about starting in a new school and that she understood that it could be difficult since it wasn't much different than changing commands, but Mattie didn't speak to her for three days because of it anyway. Mac said that Mattie was doing okay in school, but not as well as she'd been doing in Virginia.

Mac confided in Trish that she'd thought that things would get better when they moved to their own place, but things hadn't improved after the move. Mattie wanted to fight her on anything and everything, from homework to taking out the trash. If anything, it had gotten worse, especially in the last week when they'd battled over Mattie getting a driver's license.

Trish was familiar with the license situation because Mattie had begun to mention her upcoming seventeenth birthday and that a good present would be the driver's training that she needed to get her license. Mattie had also mentioned during one of the recent dinners that she already knew how to drive and that she'd been driving since she was fourteen back in Virginia.

Mac said that she thought that, like the other disagreements, Mattie would get past the license issue. However, Mac did say in defense of Mattie's behavior that she didn't think that it had anything to do with school, the move or anything other than the fact that Mattie missed Harm. Mac then told Trish about the conversation at the airport while waiting for their flight to board.

*********FLASHBACK*********

"When are we all going to be together again?" Mattie asked.

"Mac and I talked about it. If I can't get a transfer to San Diego before December, she hopes to have her office up and running well enough for the two of you to come to London for Christmas."

*********END FLASHBACK******* **

Mac then explained to Trish that, because of her schedule, they wouldn't be able to go to London for Christmas, and now with that holiday just a month away, things between her and Mattie would probably get even worse.

Mac voiced her concern to Trish that, with the year-round school program here, Mattie was going to be out of school for the entire month of December and, because of the strain in their relationship, she had no idea how she was going to keep Mattie busy and out of trouble for an entire month.

Trish gave Mac a hug at the end of their conversation before summing it up. "So you're telling me that she's suffering from being a teenager, and, in her case, with all the changes in her life in the past couple of months, she probably thinks that life is coming at her too fast."

"I guess that's what I'm saying."

"And what about you, dear? You look tired and run down all the time."

Mac chuckled. "I'm suffering from having a teenager and life coming at me too fast."

Both ladies laughed and returned to clearing the table.

While they were working, Trish asked about something that Mattie had said last week during dinner when Mac was working late.

"Mattie had said that it had been discussed and that she couldn't go see Harm if you couldn't go, so with all the friction between the two of you, I have to ask. Is that really what you said? And if you did, why can't she go if you really think that her underlying problem is that she misses Harm?"

"It's probably what she heard, but it isn't that she can't go without me. It's that Harm and I agree that, since she was nervous about coming out on the flight _with_ me because of her plane crash, it isn't a good idea that we let her travel so far alone," Mac explained.

It wasn't long after Trish and Mac joined the others to watch the football game that Frank and Trish disappeared. While they were out of the room, Trish and Frank talked it over and decided to suggest that they fly with Mattie to London.

When Trish entered the living room, she ushered Mac into Frank's den to discuss their idea with Mac privately so as not to get Mattie's hopes up if, for whatever reason, the trip wasn't possible.

Even though Mattie's last day of school was the 2nd of December, prior commitments would keep them from leaving until the 8th, but after a call to Harm to verify that it was okay with him, the three of them informed Mattie that she'd be going to London for Christmas. Mattie was thrilled that she'd be going to London to see Harm.

During a second call to Harm later that day, a plan came together nicely. Trish and Frank would fly with Mattie to London and stay for a few days. They'd do a little tour of Europe, come back to London for Christmas, and then fly back with Mattie if Mac couldn't get away to come for the holiday.

Mac went into the office on the Friday after Thanksgiving determined to find a few days at Christmas to visit her husband. Mac accomplished her mission and requested leave from December 21st to January 1st.

Mac didn't want to think negatively, but she'd also recently had leave and was running a new office, so she'd just have to pray that her request would be granted.


	44. Chapter 44

**PART TWO – In the Air **

Mattie and her grandparents boarded a plane on the evening of Thursday Dec 8th in San Diego. In the air on the first leg of their long journey, San Diego to New York, Mattie began to believe that the holiday trip to London wasn't going to be as wonderful as she'd hoped. Mac would've told Harm about her behavior, and she'd better be ready to face him.

Once their flight was in the air, Mattie reclined her seat and tried to sleep, but it was useless. Her mind was too involved with trying to figure out what questions Harm would ask and what her answers would be.

***********

The first disagreement with Mac over school, Mattie hadn't meant to be argumentative or rude, but Mac hadn't understood.

It had been more than just going to a new school. She'd come a long way, but, in some ways, she didn't feel whole yet. Her short-term memory wasn't always reliable. She might call someone by the wrong name, and then the other kids would think she was dumb! Though she was walking and doing well, fatigue was still an issue after a full day of activity, so much so that her doctor had ordered her to not take any kind of physical education class when she started school. At school in DC, the teachers had treated her differently when she'd started back, and her friends had treated her like someone who was on the mend after an accident. Since Mattie couldn't do everything that she'd done before, they'd been content to just hang out with her. The kids at the new school wouldn't know about Mattie's accident and everything that she'd been through since then, and she'd been afraid that they wouldn't make any allowances for what she perceived as her shortcomings.

Mattie had started to make friends with a couple of girls, but they'd wanted to meet her at the mall or the movie theatre, and Mattie didn't have a way to get there. Well, she could take city transit, but was unsure which bus to take. However, the need to make friends had led her to attempt the bus after school one day. Mattie had called her grandparents with the story that she'd be staying late at school because of a project. Mattie had stayed at school until the end of the regular day and then had boarded the city bus that went by the mall. If she could figure out the bus route, she'd tell her friends that she could meet them there this weekend. Trish had told her to call them when she was ready to come home, and one of them would pick her up from school if Mac wasn't home yet. That was one thing that Mattie hadn't been worried about because Mac had been working late almost every night lately. However, Mattie had found out that she _should_ have been worried about it.

It was near the end of October, and Mac had left the office early to look at a condo. Mattie had walked in the door of the Burnett home, proud of herself for figuring out the bus schedule and the route to take from the Burnett's to the mall on Saturday. She was greeted by Mac with, "Mattie, I've been waiting for your call. How did you get home?" Mattie had been so caught off guard that she'd lied in response.

"I rode home with a friend from school. Everyone drives except me," she'd yelled and stormed off upstairs to her room in an attempt to hide her guilty conscience.

During dinner that night, Mattie had been able to tell that Mac wasn't sure what to say about her outburst. Mac had stayed calm and didn't mentioned it, but she'd blown her Saturday plans to meet her friends just the same when she'd said, "Mattie, I looked at a condo this afternoon and I want you to go with me on Saturday to look at the place before I sign a lease."

Mattie had liked the condo. Her room was on the ocean side of the building and, though they couldn't see the ocean from their condo, when the window was open, Mattie could smell the sea. By the time they'd met with the agent showing the condo and signed a lease, the day was over, at least as far as getting to the mall to see her friends was concerned.

From that day forward, Mattie hadn't missed an opportunity to hint about getting her driver's license. For instance, one night Trish had run out of milk while cooking and had asked Mattie to see if Mac minded going to the store for her since she was right in the middle of preparing dinner. Mattie had gone into the other room and said to Mac, "Trish is out of milk and needs it to finish dinner. She'd like to know if you'd go get it for her. I'd go if I had a driver's license, but since I don't, I guess you'll have to do it, Mac."

The following weekend, the first weekend in November, Mac had talked to Harm, and they'd discussed Mattie getting a driver's license. Mac, being the disciplinarian all the time, had asked Harm to deliver the conditions under which she could get her license. First, she needed to wait until she saw the doctor in January for a checkup to see if he found any medical reason why she shouldn't have one. The January appointment also happened to be after report cards came out, and, if her grades were good, she could start the driver's training needed for a license in California when you're under the age of eighteen.

After the conditions had been given, Mattie had tried harder at school. Mattie knew that she was smart, or at least she used to be, but now she had to work harder and harder, and her grades didn't reflect how hard she'd actually been working. She felt that she was never going to get the grades to get her learner's permit.

***********

Their plane landed in New York on time in the early morning hours of Friday the 9th. Mattie had been so quiet on the flight from San Diego and hadn't slept at all that Frank and Trish were worried about her.

Frank and Trish were assuming that Mattie was upset about flying. If they'd asked Mattie, she might have let them believe that it was the flying, but the truth was, her thoughts had kept her from thinking about being in an airplane.

A delay in takeoff from New York to London due to weather was a distraction for Mattie. Frank and Trish said that, if they were going to be stuck in the airport for awhile, they wanted to have breakfast at a restaurant before boarding the next plane. Thank goodness New York is a city that doesn't sleep, because, given the early hour of the day, if it wasn't, it would've been difficult to find a nice restaurant that served breakfast on plates and not wrapped in paper.

Frank and Trish kept Mattie's mind on the trip itself over breakfast with questions about places she wanted to see and things she wanted to do in London. Mattie had come to Trish's gallery once and seemed to enjoy the art, so Trish asked Frank if she could take Mattie to an art gallery in London on Monday before she and Frank left on Tuesday to visit other parts of Europe. It was decided that, if Harm didn't have any plans for Mattie on Monday, they'd take her to a gallery or two.

Mattie enjoyed Trish and Frank's company and found that they were adjusting well to having a practically grown grandchild.

When it was announced that their flight would shortly be boarding for London, Frank called Harm in London to make alternate plans. Originally, they were going to take a taxi to Harm's office and drop off Mattie before proceeding to their hotel. However, the delay in departure from New York would put them in much later than they'd thought, so the plan was changed to meeting Harm at his apartment.

Once in the air again, Mattie's thoughts returned to her problems with Mac.

***********

Though Mac had seemed worn out and tired when she got home, the few days of unpacking at the condo had been good.

The first day they'd unpacked the kitchen together before working alone in their individual rooms. The second day they'd unpacked the living room, and it had been fun to see the things that Mac had and how they differed from Harm's. It was also interesting to see the pictures of the different people that Mac had wanted to display. Mac had made a point to tell Mattie that the open space that she'd left in the picture arrangement was reserved for a wedding picture. They'd ordered the wedding pictures at the end of September, and the photographer had mailed them to Harm's parents' house about six weeks later.

Trish had brought the wedding photos by a few days after they'd moved. Mac and Mattie had looked through the photos that same night to see which one would be put in the empty space. The photo chosen was of Harm and Mac in the garden at the hotel. Having picked the perfect photo to join the others that night, Mac had taken Mattie to dinner the next night before they'd gone shopping for the perfect frame. Mac had bought two or three frames for different pictures.

It was when the perfect wedding picture had joined the others that Mattie thought she knew the reason why she hadn't been getting along with Mac. It was because Mac had 'acquired' her because Mac loved Harm, and not because Mac loved her. Harm had explained why she was moving with Mac to California, but why hadn't he taken her to London if he loved her? Mattie had just pinpointed what she thought was the cause of her recent rebellious streak.

It had been the next evening when Mattie had begun to lash out at everything. Even the simplest things like being asked to set the table for dinner, taking out the trash or moving her backpack from in front of the door, Mattie had met with a smart remark or claimed that she had homework to do and had simply disappeared into her room.

Mattie hadn't been disrespectful to her grandparents, but the night before Thanksgiving, Mac had asked Mattie why she was so angry with her and had wanted to talk things through. After making excuses like 'it's school,' 'you won't understand' and the big one, 'I wish I could live with Harm,' Mac had left Mattie alone, but things had been at an all time low, and the tension between them hadn't gone unnoticed by her grandparents.

By the end of Thanksgiving Day, a plan had been put in motion for Mattie to see Harm for Christmas. Mattie had assumed that the trip hadn't been planned just so she could see Harm, but so that Mac could get a break from her. Therefore, the tension between them had remained, but Mattie had tried not to be quite so argumentative, especially over little things like setting the table.

Mac had come home early on Thursday afternoon to make sure that Mattie had everything packed. Mac had also wanted time to change clothes because, once Mattie was ready, they'd go pick up the Burnetts, and then Mac would drive them all to the airport.

Thirty minutes after Mac had arrived at the condo, Jennifer had called to verify an appointment that Mac had with someone. Mac had pulled out her day planner and made sure that the appointment was entered into her book.

Mattie wasn't sure why she'd done it, but when Mac had left the room to go get Mattie's passport out of the locked fire box in her bedroom, Mattie had gone over to look at Mac's calendar. Mattie had secretly hoped that she'd see an entry like 'meet boyfriend for dinner' so that she could tell Harm, and then she'd get to go live with him. However, when her eyes had scanned the page, her lungs had exhaled all the air that they'd held, leaving her light headed for a moment. Mattie looked at the entry on the 16th of December again: *Dr. Hastings, 1300. Mattie had snorted. 'She's probably pregnant,' she'd thought. An asterisk like the one next to the doctor's name on the date in the margin had changed Mattie's mind about her being pregnant. *If another procedure is recommended on 16th, must wait until early January.

Mac had been coming downstairs and calling to her. "Mattie, come on or we'll be caught in traffic, and I'll never get you to the airport on time."

Mattie had made it over to the front door before Mac had reached the bottom of the stairs, so Mac had no idea that she'd seen her calendar.

Mattie had remained quiet during her ride to her grandparents and to the airport, thinking about the calendar entry. Harm and Mac hadn't seen each other in almost three months. If she were pregnant and there was a problem, they'd have told her by now, wouldn't they? What was wrong with Mac? Why hadn't they told her what was wrong with her? Was the trip to London so that she could see the place before she had to move there because Mac was dying?

After seeing Mac's day planner before they'd left, Mattie had felt pangs of guilt at the airport when Mac had reached out, hugged her and whispered in her ear for her to have a good trip.

She'd been a pain, and Mac was sick. What kind of person was she? She knew that Mac had been tired and run down, but she didn't know that it had been because she was sick. She'd thought it was just because she spent so much time at work, so she'd just kept being awful to Mac. What would Harm do without Mac? Did Harm know what was wrong? If Harm knew, he'd be in no mood to deal with her teenage insecurities and rebellion, and he might not want her anymore.

***********

They'd arrived at Harm's less than an hour ago. After welcoming hugs, Harm had offered everyone some sliced fruit, vegetables and sandwiches that he'd had waiting for them when they'd arrived.

Trish and Frank had stayed long enough to enjoy a light snack before leaving to check into their hotel.

After his parents had left, Mattie told Harm that she was really tired. Harm carried her bag as he showed her to her room. He said that he'd wake her after his run in the morning, and, over breakfast, they could discuss what she'd like to do while she was here.


	45. Chapter 45

**PART THREE – The First Seven Days **

**SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2005**

Mattie and her grandparents had boarded a plane on Thursday night and, between the flight time, a delay in New York and time changes, they'd arrived late yesterday afternoon.

Harm knew that it was selfish of him since he didn't know how the eight hour time change would affect Mattie, but he'd missed her and wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. So, after his morning run, a quick shower and rationalizing during both tasks that she could rest as much as she wanted while he was at work during the coming week, he knocked on Mattie's bedroom door to wake her.

Once he'd made sure that Mattie was stirring, he went to the kitchen to start their breakfast.

Mattie said that she was tired and seemed to be sluggish, so Saturday turned out to be more a day spent mostly at home, going out only to grocery shop and rent a couple of movies.

When they went out to the market for groceries, Mattie laughed at Harm's little car.

After they'd returned to the apartment, they watched the movies and talked about things that Mattie might have seen in the book that he'd given her or online that she'd like to see while she was here. Mattie asked Harm if he'd planned anything. His response was that he'd hoped to take her to a couple of places, but that he hadn't planned for them to do anything right away so that she had some time to rest after the long trip and adjust to the time change. He went on to explain that he hadn't planned any sightseeing because he first wanted to know if there was some place special that she wanted to see, because he preferred to take her to see a place that interested her instead of the standard tourist excursion. However, if she didn't have any place in particular she wanted to see, he'd schedule a tourist's view of London. Harm also mentioned that he'd saved decorating the apartment for Christmas for them to do together and that they should go Christmas shopping together soon so that Mattie could pick out a gift for Mac to go under their tree.

Mattie wanted to turn in not long after dinner, saying that she was tired, but she seemed more distracted than tired to Harm. However, he didn't question her. He just showed her around so that she knew where things were located, like where the bath towels were stored, and then Mattie spent the rest of the evening in her room.

Harm had emailed Mac one line last night before he'd gone to bed: 'Mattie has arrived safely.' Tonight was Saturday and the usual day that he called Mac and Mattie, so before he went to bed, he called Mac.

The call seemed short. Maybe it just seemed short because he usually talked to two people instead of just one.

As he lay in bed, he thought about the call – they hadn't really talked about anything, and that struck him as odd.

**SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2005**

With two exceptions, today was almost an exact duplicate of yesterday.

The two exceptions were that Harm was able to get Mattie to go out for lunch and that Trish called to make sure that it was okay for them to pick up Mattie tomorrow to go to an art gallery or two.

During the call with his mother, it was decided that Harm's office was closer to their hotel and a gallery that Trish was interested in seeing, so Mattie would go with Harm to the office in the morning. Trish and Frank would pick up Mattie from his office and spend the day with her, and then Harm would meet the three of them for dinner at the hotel where Trish and Frank were staying.

**MONDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2005**

Harm went to knock on Mattie's door to make sure that she was up so that she could get ready while he was out for his morning run. Much to his surprise, Mattie's door was open and she was already up. During his run, he thought about how she'd been acting. He hoped that her being up this morning meant that she was feeling better and that he'd be able to start showing her London this week.

Before Trish and Frank arrived, Harm got the chance to introduce Mattie to several people at his office, among them, Petty Officer Banks, his yeoman, and Commander Manetti, his XO.

Monday mornings were usually busy for Harm. There were always phone messages and emails that he needed to read and respond to as well as cases that had come in over the weekend that needed to be reviewed before staff call, but Mattie had made an amazing difference in his outlook towards the normally boring but necessary tasks this morning. In fact, his whole day seemed good, the first good day at work that he'd had in awhile. Harm attributed this feeling to the smile and hug that Mattie had given him before she'd left with Trish and Frank. Mattie was here and, though it would be better if his wife were here, too, having part of his family around made him feel good.

Harm left the office about half an hour early so that he could change to go to dinner. He met his parents and Mattie at the hotel restaurant as planned. Mattie looked tired, but happy, unlike the distracted look that she'd had over the weekend.

Mattie was very animated in discussing her visit to The National Gallery in particular. In fact, Mattie monopolized the dinner conversation with talk of her outing with Trish and Frank. Mattie also mentioned during dinner that, based on things that Trish and Frank had suggested and things that she'd remembered from the book that Harm had given her when he'd visited over Memorial weekend, she'd made a list of places that she'd like to visit while she was in London and then she suggested that, when Harm got home from work tomorrow, they decorate the apartment for Christmas and discuss her list of things to do. Harm was thrilled that the 'old' Mattie seemed to be back and chalked up her weekend mood to jet lag.

By the time they returned to the apartment after saying their goodbyes to Trish and Frank, Mattie and Harm were tired. It was interesting that, since Mattie seemed to be feeling better, he was more relaxed and ready to get a good night's sleep himself.

Mattie was able to go to sleep easier tonight, tired from the activities of the day and feeling more secure. If Mac had told Harm about her behavior, he'd have said something over the course of the weekend, so Mac must not have tattled on her.

**TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2005**

Harm woke Mattie after his morning run and shower so they could have breakfast together before he went to work.

Over breakfast, they discussed what Mattie would do while he was at work. She'd bought some postcards yesterday and said that she thought she'd write short notes on the back and get them ready to mail, review her list of places to see and take a nap.

After saying that he'd call around lunchtime to check on her, he also told her that he should be able to get away from the office a little early and he'd see her then.

Harm hadn't been able to leave early, so when he got home, it was time to start dinner.

After dinner, they started decorating for the holiday. While they removed items from the two small boxes that Harm had of Christmas decorations, they discussed her list of things that she wanted to see while she was in London. One of her requests was to see the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. Harm said that it was a morning event, so when he went into the office tomorrow, he'd check to see if he had a morning when he didn't have an appointment that would interfere with him coming in late. Other items on her list included: several museums, including the British Museum and The Museum of London, The Tower of London, any one or all of the street markets that Trish had told her about, and she wanted to see the church where Princess Diana had been married to Prince Charles, Westminster Abbey or St. Paul's Cathedral, she wasn't sure which, and she wanted to walk on Baker Street, made famous in her mind in the pages of the Sherlock Holmes books that she'd read.

While talking and untangling light strings, Mattie seemed rested and happy, making Harm feel that his sense that something had been wrong a few days ago must really have been Mattie's fatigue, and that he should relax and enjoy her visit.

A short time later while decorating the tree, Harm's concern that something wasn't right returned. Harm knew that it was time to start asking questions, but Mattie was never one to be pushed, so he used his skills as an experienced investigator to try to get her to open up to him. He'd ask only a few questions at a time, and not back to back in order to avoid her becoming aware of what he was trying to do. He hoped that she'd either reveal the problem or put his mind at ease. He'd start with generic questions that she should be expecting.

"How do you like San Diego?" Harm asked.

"I liked the weather at first. You know, wearing shorts in September was cool. However, Christmas without snow is one thing, but it isn't even cold there in December!"

They then compared the weather of the Virginia/DC area, San Diego and London before Mattie asked a question.

"I thought you were going to come to San Diego. How much longer are you going to be in London?"

Unfortunately, there was no known answer to her question, so Harm answered the only way he could. "I haven't heard anything, so I need to talk to Mac about that. I don't know how long we want to wait for the Navy to find a billet for me in the San Diego area. We may be better off if I go ahead and put in my paperwork to retire. I was hoping that Mac would be joining us for Christmas and that I could talk to her about it face-to-face. She said that she'd requested ten days, but the last time I asked her about it, she was kind of irritated and said that she hadn't heard anything about it yet and that she'd let me know, so I'm still waiting to hear about that, too."

"I think Mac works too hard..." Mattie paused. "…but I guess you don't get a say in how many hours a day you work in the Navy."

"No, you don't," Harm answered.

"She's just really tired all the time, so I was wondering."

Time for his next question. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Of course, I have days when I get tired, but it takes a little bit more to wear me out each time."

"So you haven't had any problems getting around at school then?" Harm questioned.

"I can walk just fine, but if I had my license, I could get around better," Mattie said, taking the opportunity to work on Harm to get her license sooner.

"Since you brought it up, how is school going? Do you think your grades are going to be at the level that we agreed upon for you to get your license?"

They were putting the finishing touches on the tree while Mattie answered. "I've been trying really hard and I hope that my report card shows it."

After finishing with the tree, Mattie and Harm indulged in some chocolate ice cream before Harm said that he thought he'd call it a night. After Mattie had mentioned how much Mac worked, he hadn't wanted to tell her that he'd had to bring some case files home to review for tomorrow's staff meeting in order to leave the office early enough to get home in time for dinner.

From the 'talk' they'd had while decorating the tree, Mattie was sure that Harm didn't know about Mac seeing a doctor.

Harm read the files that he needed to and went to bed, reviewing what insights he'd gathered on what was bothering Mattie. She was worried about Mac and her grades, but he knew that there was something else.

Whatever it was that she was withholding from him, Harm was pretty sure that it was gnawing at Mattie and that it would come out in time, but, in the meantime, he had two pieces of the puzzle.

**WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2005**

Harm followed his normal morning routine with the addition of getting Mattie up to have breakfast with him before he left for work.

Today, he was almost to the door when Mattie asked if he could mail the postcards that she'd written yesterday. After Mattie had retrieved the postcards from her bedroom, Harm was on his way.

After the staff meeting in the morning, Harm called in his yeoman, and they went to work to rearrange Harm's schedule where they could. It took a little time to make sure that the changes could be made, but they got them done in time for Harm to be on his way home at mid-day. Harm called Mattie to tell her that he was on his way home just after 1200.

Harm arrived at the apartment and changed out of his uniform before the duo left, hoping to accomplish two things at once: checking off shopping at a street market from Mattie's list and Mattie picking out a Christmas gift for Mac.

Tired, they returned to the apartment after a late dinner out, but with several things checked off Mattie's list of things to see in London.

While shopping, Harm had noticed that Mattie had become very quiet whenever he'd mentioned Mac's name or buying her a present.

During dinner, Harm had managed to ask a few more questions, but her answers hadn't revealed anything new.

**THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2005**

Harm had informed Mattie that he hadn't been able to free up a lot of time today, but he'd cleared time at midday so that he could take an extended lunch.

True to his word, Harm showed up and had lunch with her at the apartment and stayed for more than an hour before he returned to work.

Harm came home at 1700 and fixed them dinner before they watched a movie and had some popcorn before calling it a night.

Tomorrow, Harm had arranged to go in late to work, so they were definitely going to be able to get something checked off Mattie's things-to-see-and-do list.

**FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2005**

Today the usual routine of getting up was followed, but instead of Harm leaving for work, they left together to go out for breakfast and a little sightseeing before watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.

The changing of the guard ceremony held Mattie's attention, yet the moment it was over, she became petulant again. She'd started floating in and out of this 'mood' since yesterday afternoon - sometime around the time when he'd first mentioned Mac's name.

Mentioning Mac's name while decorating the tree the other night had changed Mattie's mood, too. Something was definitely troubling her, but he couldn't imagine what. Mac had told him about Mattie not wanting to start school, but she was going. He knew about Mattie wanting her license, but none of what he knew seemed to be a reason for Mattie to appear to be so indifferent towards Mac.

Mattie knew that she wasn't hiding her feelings very well when they returned to the apartment. Harm had changed into his uniform and grabbed his laptop computer before he instructed her that she could catch up on her email or play computer games at his office while he was working. She knew that Harm must be worried about her, but she also knew that he didn't know why she was acting the way she was. She didn't want to take the time to figure out the time change differential, but today was the 16th and, at some point today in San Diego, Mac was going to be seeing a doctor...a doctor whom Harm seemed to know nothing about from the talks that they'd had over the last several days.

After an hour of spending time watching Mattie's back as she surfed the net and emailed her friends using his laptop at a table in his office, Harm had the perfect excuse for sending Mattie to the conference room – he had a scheduled meeting with Commander Manetti about the Bach case.

Harm showed Mattie the way to the conference room and returned to his office. He had a couple of minutes before his meeting, and that gave him time to interview two witnesses in the case of Mattie v. Mac – his parents must know something.

Harm called his mother and spoke to both she and Frank. Both had said that they'd stayed out of 'parental matters' while Mac and Mattie had been living with them, and once they'd moved out, they hadn't been in a position to observe much. Trish was going to leave it at that and then decided that she couldn't. Although, she didn't really have any facts to back up her intuition, Trish left her son with this information.

"You have to understand, Harm, that I don't _know_ anything. What I'm about to say is just what I believe to be true, with no facts to support my view, so take it as a theory. I don't think that Mattie and Mac are as strong as they'd like you to believe. I think they miss you, and the move has been hard on both of them. Mac's trying to do everything perfectly, both at work and at home, but there's no such thing as perfect, and it's leaving her stressed and tired. I also think that Mattie's a teenager who's unsure of whom she can trust, based on her previous experience, so she's pushing buttons...testing your commitment to her, I imagine."

Commander Manetti's knock kept Harm from discussing the matter with his mother in more detail.

Harm finished his work, and he and Mattie dined out before heading to the apartment after a full day.

Harm went to sleep that night wondering what his mother had meant by "she's pushing buttons". Did his mother think that Mattie was intentionally acting out? If so, poor Mac, since she certainly didn't deserve to be in Mattie's line of fire. Maybe Mattie should be living with him.


	46. Chapter 46

**PART FOUR – Time Reveals Part of the Answers **

**SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2005 **

Harm had let Mattie sleep in a little later this morning because today was going to be nonstop tourist stuff, from a ride on a double-decker bus to a close up view of the River Thames.

After they'd put in a full day of sightseeing and picture taking, they'd returned to the apartment tired and hungry.

Harm cooked dinner and promised her another busy day tomorrow, saying that, since this was the last weekend before Christmas, they needed to keep at it if she was going to see everything on her list before she left London, noting that she could use the coming week to rest while he was at work.

While they were eating, Harm asked Mattie if she wanted to talk to Mac when he called after dinner. Mattie answered hesitantly, but said that she'd like to talk to her.

Harm was pleased that Mattie wanted to talk to Mac because he thought that hearing at least one side of their conversation might provide another piece of the puzzle.

After the dishes had been cleared from the table, Harm dialed the number while Mattie sat in the chair opposite him, listening and waiting for her turn. Mac answered on the second ring with a very tired sounding, "Hello."

"You sound tired," Harm stated.

"I am. I've been working very hard. I thought it would slow down for the holidays and let me catch up, but it hasn't."

"That explains the short conversation last Saturday and the one and two line emails from you this past week. I wish you could be here so that we could have a family Christmas, but I understand that you have to work. However, I want you to know that Mattie will be bringing back a present or two for you."

Mac was smiling at the thought of them being together. "So you miss me, huh?"

"More than you'll ever know," Harm replied with a sigh.

Mattie was squirming and seemed anxious to talk to Mac, so Harm said that there was someone else who missed her and wanted to say hello, and he handed the phone to Mattie.

Harm listened carefully, hoping to gather more information about the trouble between Mac and Mattie.

"Hi, Mac, are you feeling okay? I mean, have you been able to get any sleep with me away?" Mattie asked.

"Hello, Mattie, I feel fine. I'm getting as much sleep as I did when you were here." Mac paused, thinking about Mattie feeling responsible for her lack of sleep, and it caused her heart to ache. "Mattie, it isn't your fault. I just feel a lot of pressure to make this new office a success. It's work that's keeping me awake, not you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand. I was just hoping that you'd get better without me there."

"Mattie, I'm glad you care, but you don't need to worry. I'm just tired. My plan for the office is on schedule, which means that, by the first of the year, I won't be putting in so many hours. I'll have time to rest and spend time with you...if you want."

"I'd like that. I know that I've been a pain lately, but I would like to spend more time with you." Mattie's tone echoed the remorse that she felt.

Mattie was focused on the conversation that she was having with Mac and didn't see Harm's reaction to her comment about being a 'pain.' That was something that Harm wanted to know more about after the call.

"I know that having to live with me instead of Harm, Harm and me getting married and the move was a lot for you to take in all at once. We've had a rocky start, but I'm sure that we'll work it out," Mac stated with some understanding about the impact that her near death experience as a result of her plane crash may have had on Mattie's mental state, too.

"I hope it isn't too late." Mattie was visibly upset as she spoke this line, and Harm took note of that, as well.

"We'll have a long talk when you're ready," Mac replied.

"Okay, soon." Mattie was starting to feel the sting of tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "I'd better let you talk to Harm now." Mattie handed the phone back to Harm, and the look on his face told her that the comments that she'd made would result in the conversation that she'd been dreading for a week.

Harm took the phone and watched Mattie sitting with her hands clasped in her lap while he put the phone up to his ear and spoke.

"Hey, I'm back," Harm said, since it was the only thing that he could say at the moment since he wanted to know what was going on from Mac, but didn't want to have the conversation in front of Mattie.

Mac knew that Mattie had become upset during their conversation and knew that Harm would be wondering why.

"I know that you probably have a million questions, but I don't have any answers. We need to get off the phone. She's upset, and you need to talk to her. Maybe she'll tell you what's going on."

"What about you?" Harm asked.

"I'll be fine if you can tell me what's wrong with our daughter. Please call me after you've had a chance to talk to her," Mac said in a combination of frustration and concern.

"I'll will. I love you," Harm assured her.

"I love you. Bye."

"Bye." Harm hung up the phone and locked his gaze on Mattie.

Mattie was able to keep the tears from falling while she sat in the chair across from Harm, waiting for him to say something after he closed his cell phone.

Mattie knew that the wait was almost over when his eyes became fixed on hers.

"Are you going to tell me what you meant when you said 'I've been a pain'?" Harm asked calmly.

Defenses in place at the moment, Mattie returned a flippant answer. "Mac's already told you, so just dish out my punishment."

"Mac has told me that you were reluctant to start school and that you wanted your driver's license, but now I'm sure that she didn't give me the whole story. So, I'm asking you to fill in the blanks."

Mattie took in a deep breath and tried to form her thoughts while wondering why Mac hadn't told Harm more about her behavior. Mattie broke eye contact with Harm before she did as he'd asked and gave him a full confession, even about the bus trip to the mall after school that she was sure that no one knew about. Mattie finished speaking and looked at Harm.

Harm sat in silence, absorbing all that Mattie had said...and wondering why this was the first that he was hearing about it.

Harm's quiet observation of her was very unnerving. She'd have preferred that he'd just ground her so she could go to her room.

Harm had listened without interrupting and had taken a few moments to mull over the information before he spoke.

"Why, Mattie, why did you do those things?" he asked.

"Different reasons for different things."

"Tell me."

Mattie told him about her fears about school and the need to be like other kids her age concerning the driver's license. After that information, Harm asked about the other incidents.

Mattie answered, "None of it was on purpose. It would just happen. I'd be upset because I'd gotten a so-so grade on a test that I knew that I'd studied hard for, and Mac would ask me to do something, and things would just pop out of my mouth."

"Why didn't you talk to Mac about what was bothering you instead of snapping at her?" Harm asked.

"She works a lot. If she's there, she brings work home or she looks so tired that I don't want to bother her."

"Mattie, you wouldn't have been bothering her. You can talk to her anytime, about anything." Harm paused. "Why didn't you talk to me when I called or email me that we needed to talk? I would've called to talk to you."

"I didn't want you to decide that I was too much trouble. You might change your mind about being my guardian."

Harm slid over onto the coffee table to get closer to Mattie. "Mattie, I thought we were past all this. I'm sorry that I haven't made it clear lately. I'm not going anywhere...and if you don't feel comfortable talking to Mac yet, then you can talk to me."

Tears began to flow slowly down Mattie's cheeks. "So you aren't mad?"

"I'm angry at myself for not being there for you, but I'm not angry with you," Harm informed her.

Mattie began to feel better after her teenage troubles were out in the open. Her arms went around Harm's neck, and they hugged briefly. Mattie pulled away and said that she wanted to go wash her face before she helped him with the dinner dishes.

Harm watched Mattie turn to go down the hall to the bathroom. He called to her. "Mattie, in case I haven't told you lately, I love you."

Mattie turned to face him. "I love you, too," she replied and disappeared down the hall with a small smile on her face.

Mattie returned a few minutes later, and they did the dishes together before the physical activity from sightseeing and the emotional drain of this evening's confessions took their toll. Mattie announced that she'd like to go to bed and get some rest since they had a busy day planned for tomorrow. She hugged Harm before going to her room.

Harm started to call Mac, but decided against it. He'd see if Mattie's mood improved over the next couple of days before calling Mac and letting her know what had transpired here tonight.

**SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2005**

Minus the moodiness that Mattie had displayed before, the day was wonderful, full of sightseeing and fun. Mattie was lively and pleasant. She took pictures and was thrilled to check off more things on her list.

They had such a good time that it was dinner time before they knew it. They opted to have dinner out and enjoy the atmosphere of the city a little longer.

They returned to the apartment after dinner, tired and ready to get some rest.

**MONDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2005**

The weekday routine was followed, and during breakfast together, Harm told Mattie that Monday mornings were always hectic at the office for him, but by lunch, he'd have the office settled enough to get home by two so they could go shopping because they still hadn't bought Mac a present.

As Harm gathered his cover and briefcase, Mattie asked, "What do you think Mac wants for Christmas?"

"I don't know. Since we're running out of time, we might have to go with a bottle of her favorite perfume."

"Harm, what do you want for Christmas?" Mattie asked.

Christmas was this weekend, and Mac hadn't said a word about getting leave, so he answered Mattie's question in a low voice full of disappointment. "What I really wanted was Christmas with my whole family."

Mattie asked, "No word from Mac yet?"

Harm shook his head. "I'll be home early, so rest up so we can get our shopping done."

Harm returned in the afternoon, and they headed out to do their shopping. On the way, Mattie asked why Harm wanted to make sure that he got a gift before Christmas if Mac wasn't going to be there. Harm replied that it wasn't really a Christmas present if he bought it after Christmas. He added that, if he knew his mother, there'd be pictures taken on Christmas day, and Mac's present needed to be under the tree so that she wouldn't think that the gift was an afterthought when she saw the pictures.

Mattie suggested that Mac wouldn't notice, but Harm had to disagree, proudly saying that Mac was a very observant investigator and that she'd notice, even if she didn't mention the missing present.

They ate dinner out again, but they'd finished their shopping. They spent the evening watching a movie and wrapping a couple of Christmas presents before calling it a night.

Mattie was feeling better, but Mac's doctor's appointment still weighed heavily on her mind. She needed to talk to Harm about it, but it was so close to Christmas. If it was bad news, it would spoil his Christmas even more than not having her here for the family Christmas that he wanted.

**TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2005**

Their morning routine was the same. Over breakfast, Harm told Mattie that he had some meetings today that would keep him at the office all day. Mattie said that she'd wrap the presents that they hadn't wrapped last night, watch a movie or two, take a nap, the usual stuff while he was gone.

Harm left for the office, feeling good about the situation with Mattie. It had been a couple of days since their intense conversation, and Mattie was doing much better.

Harm still saw something in Mattie's eyes that led him to believe that she still hadn't told him everything, but if things went well today, he'd call Mac tomorrow and let her know what had happened and that he thought that the worst had past. He'd already eased Mac's worries some by telling her that he thought that he'd solved some of Mattie's troubles by letting her talk. However, he'd also told Mac that he believed that she'd need to be part of the solution since, during the conversation that he'd had with Mattie, her name had come up many times, meaning to him that Mattie needed to hear reassurances from Mac as well.

Harm got home at the usual 1700 and started to prepare dinner. Mattie came into the kitchen to see if she could help, but dinner wasn't really what was on her mind. She'd been thinking about one thing all day...Mac's doctor's appointment. What if Mac's appointment wasn't bad news? Maybe Harm did know, but because it wasn't a big deal, he just hadn't mentioned it. If it was bad news, what would happen to her? Mattie had rehearsed what she wanted to say on and off all day, but when she asked her first question, her words didn't follow any of the scripts that her mind had rehearsed.

"Harm, can I ask you a legal question?" Mattie asked.

Harm smiled. "I am a lawyer, so I can probably handle a legal question. What is it?"

"If something happened to Mac, what would happen to me?"

Harm thought that the question was odd, but he answered. "Since the judge ordered joint permanent custody, you'd still be legally in my care without any hearings or anything. Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah, I think so. What would you do without Mac?"

Okay, he was concerned about this line of questioning. "I hope that I don't ever have to find out. I could have lost her when she was shot, and that was close enough for me to know that I don't ever want to lose her."

"What if you did? What would you do?" Mattie asked again.

Why was she being so persistent with this topic? Did she know something that he didn't know, Harm wondered before deciding that, for whatever reason, Mattie seemed to need to know the answer to the question, and he'd answer her to the best of his ability before trying to find out why she was asking him.

"I'm not sure. I'd be upset and sad of course, but I'd have you, so I'd get through it. Why are you asking?"

"Because Mac's been tired and run down. She doesn't eat much and she had a doctor's appointment on the 16th that she didn't tell me about. Harm, is she really sick? Is she going to die?"

Here it was, the last piece of the puzzle about what was bothering Mattie. She was worried about Mac's health. Unfortunately, the information about a doctor's appointment was a complete surprise to him. He didn't know that Mac had had an appointment, and therefore, had no information about the state of Mac's health and leaving him without anything to say.

"It must have been routine or she would have mentioned it to me," Harm said, hoping that it was the reason why Mac hadn't mentioned her appointment.

"You didn't know about the appointment either?" Mattie asked, more concerned now than even a couple of minutes ago.

Harm caught the word 'either' in her question.

"No, I didn't, and if she didn't tell you, then how do you know about her appointment?"

"Jen called just as we were getting ready to leave for the airport. Mac opened her planner to write something down and left it open. I saw it when she went to her bedroom to get my passport." Mattie paused, but quickly added, "I didn't mean to upset you, but I'm worried about her."

"Let's give her a call and try to clear this up," Harm suggested.

Harm tried to call Mac at home, but got no answer. He tried to call her cell phone and got no answer there either, and it went directly to voice mail.

Harm looked at his watch. He'd been so focused on trying not to look worried that he hadn't taken a moment to consider the time difference. She should be at the office right now. He dialed her office number and got Petty Officer Coates.

Jennifer informed Harm that Mac was in a meeting and that she'd give the colonel the message to call him.

Harm and Mattie waited, but no call came. Several hours past, and there was still no call from Mac.

Before Harm and Mattie went to bed, he tried to call Mac again. Jennifer said that Mac had stepped out and should be back shortly.

Mac didn't return his call that night, but when he got to the office in the morning, he'd find an email from her.


	47. Chapter 47

**PART FIVE – Can It Be That Easy? **

**WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2005 **

Since Mac hadn't returned his call, the uneasiness that Harm felt kept him tossing and turning all night. He woke from his restless sleep without the energy to take his morning run, yet he needed the run to get his blood pumping to energize him for the day.

He returned from his run and knocked on Mattie's bedroom door to wake her for breakfast the way he'd done every morning since she'd arrived. He showered in water cooler than usual, hoping that the temperature would aid in making him more alert. As the cool water began to have the desired effect, he wondered why Mac wouldn't tell him about a routine doctor's appointment. She wouldn't, he knew. Of course, if she wasn't feeling well and didn't know why...she might not tell him about going until after the doctor had told her what was wrong.

After breakfast, Harm left for work. He wanted to call Mac as soon as he arrived at the office, but the eight hour time difference made it the middle of the night in California. If Mac was even half as tired as Mattie thought or that she sounded on the phone, Mac needed the sleep.

Harm settled in behind his desk with a cup of coffee and started his work routine. He checked his phone messages first. With nothing that couldn't wait, he moved on to checking his email. He should have checked it sooner because two down from the top was an email from Mac. He should've realized that she wouldn't have wanted to call him in the middle of the night his time any more than he'd wanted to call her a few minutes ago.

Harm wasted no time clicking on her email, anxious to read her email first.

Dear Harm,

I wanted you to know that I got your messages. Jennifer said that you called twice, but that you didn't say that it was important or an emergency. I was having such a busy day that I didn't want to call you if we didn't really have time to talk. I was hoping that you were calling to give me news on Mattie and I'm very interested to hear what you've uncovered. I'm leaving San Diego for a meeting and I'm not sure that my cell phone will be useful, but we'll talk tomorrow, the 21st. I'll call you.

Love,

Mac

PS No war zone, so relax.

Harm was able to release a little of the tension in his shoulders from worrying after reading her email. She was on her way to a meeting, meaning that the doctor hadn't ordered a procedure, surgery or some other form of treatment that had kept her from working or traveling. So if she was sick, it couldn't be too serious.

If she was going out of town, she probably wouldn't get his email before they talked, so he scanned the other emails for work related items before closing the program and checking his calendar for today's appointments.

His schedule was heavy today, and he'd be putting in a full day's work. He looked at his watch, fifteen minutes until his first meeting, so he called Mattie to let her know that he'd heard from Mac and that she'd be calling them later today.

**RABB RESIDENCE - LONDON**

As Harm had calculated, he hadn't been able to get away from the office early, and arrived back at the apartment at 1710. Harm chatted with Mattie for a few minutes about what she'd done today before slipping back to his room to change into a more comfortable outfit of a knit pullover sweater and jeans.

As he passed through the living room in route to the kitchen from his bedroom, he spoke to Mattie.

"You're in luck tonight because I'm fixing my famous stir fried vegetables with tofu."

Mattie wrinkled her nose at his dinner choice. "Can't we talk about this? I mean, eating healthier is one thing, but tofu? Please!"

Harm heard her reply as he entered the kitchen. He then began to gather the necessary ingredients for his dish from the appropriate cupboard, drawer and refrigerator compartment when Mattie entered the kitchen and began to tease Harm about what she considered to be his strange food choices.

**MEANWHILE, WITH HARM AND MATTIE IN THE KITCHEN...**

Mac's large suitcase on wheels allowed her to place her carry-on bag on top of it while she kept her purse over her shoulder, allowing her one hand to be free to reach for the doorknob. Since she didn't have the key in hand, she was glad that the door was unlocked and that the knob turned easily, but she was surprised at the lack of security.

Mac heard laughter coming from the room to her right when she entered, but she proceeded back to the bedroom.

The bedroom door was pulled to, but not shut tightly, so she pushed the bedroom door open with her foot. She looped the handle of her purse over the knob on the back of the door before moving farther into the room. She parked her wheeled suitcase on the floor next to the left side of the bed and left her carry-on perched on top of it, giving it some height and making it easier to retrieve the plastic bag from inside, holding what she hoped that Mattie would consider a treat.

Mac clutched the plastic bag as she made her way towards the room from where she'd heard the laughter coming when she'd arrived. If her memory served her correctly, the direction of the noise meant that they were in the kitchen.

The trip had been long, but worth it because she was feeling better just being here. As she neared the kitchen, she gathered that the laughter that she'd heard when she'd arrived had been enough noise to mask her entering the apartment since Harm hadn't come out to investigate.

**IN THE KITCHEN, AS MAC GOT CLOSE TO THE DOORWAY …**

Mattie pulled out a box of shredded wheat cereal from a cupboard and teased Harm. "I'd rather eat this cereal box than tofu."

The atmosphere was relaxed and playful, and Harm returned her jesting. "Okay, I'm having stir fry and you're having a cardboard box. Would you like milk with that?"

Mac could hear the exchange from her position just to the side of the kitchen doorway. She was saddened by the fact that she and Mattie hadn't enjoyed playful interactions like the one she was hearing.

Mac's heart raced with anticipation. She was just seconds from seeing them. Mac took a deep breath and stepped into the doorway. "I'd skip the box and go for the pizza that I brought from New York."

Mattie and Harm's heads spun in the direction of the voice. Harm stared in disbelief for a moment. Mattie's mind focused on the words and not the fact that Mac was here.

Mattie's eyes lit up. "You have a pizza with you?"

"It's a personal-sized pizza from a chain place in the airport in New York. I thought after almost two weeks with 'almost a vegetarian' here, you might appreciate a pepperoni pizza, even if it wasn't from your favorite pizzeria."

Mattie was hoping that the pizza was her rescue from tofu. "Harm, can I have it for dinner, please?" Mattie begged soulfully.

Harm hadn't said a word since Mac had made her presence known until now. His eyes stayed locked on Mac as he answered Mattie, "Yeah, she got you out of tofu."

Mattie could see the need for them to greet each other building, and she didn't want to witness it. "I'll leave you two alone if someone will reheat my pizza."

"No problem," Harm replied quickly, his eyes still fixed on Mac.

Mattie slipped past Mac as Mac moved closer to Harm.

"Since I'm hungry and I just gave away my pizza stash, can I share with you?" Mac asked Harm.

The kitchen wasn't that big, and Mac was within reach. His arms reached out for her, snaking around her and pulling her to him. "I'll share," he said as their lips came together.

The smell of the oil heating in the wok caused them to break from their kiss. "You tend to our dinner so it doesn't burn, and I'll heat Mattie's pizza."

Everything for the stir fry had been chopped, and the few minutes that it would take to heat Mattie's pizza would be plenty of time for Harm to finish their dinner.

Harm and Mac moved about the kitchen, working in silence. If Mattie hadn't been there, they wouldn't have been able to keep their hands off each other. In fact, they probably would have forgotten all about dinner and gone straight to bed. As it was, they couldn't keep their eyes off each other.

Harm entered the dining area carrying his completed dish with Mac following behind him carrying Mattie's reheated pizza.

Harm called out, "Mattie, dinner's ready."

Mattie came in from the living room and took her place at the table, focusing a piercing gaze on Mac.

Mac had hoped that Harm's call the other night was about Mattie and that tensions would've eased, but Mac wasn't getting that impression over dinner. Mac had to concede that surprising Harm may have been a good idea, but just showing up may not have been such a good idea for Mattie. Mac didn't address Mattie directly, but offered an explanation for her unannounced arrival.

"I would've let you know that I was coming, but my request wasn't approved immediately and, by the time I received the go-ahead, I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to get a flight so close to the holiday. Once I was able to make the arrangements, I decided to surprise you instead." Mac added, "I hope that was all right," referring to Mattie's reaction to her being there.

Harm reached over and squeezed Mac's hand. "Of course, it's all right. I'm thrilled you got to come. Having you here makes the holiday perfect."

"When are you returning to San Diego?" Mattie asked.

Mac didn't detect any animosity in Mattie's question, but she felt that Mattie didn't want her there just the same. "The first of January. I'm booked on the same flight that you are. I was surprised that I could get that flight because it wasn't easy to book flights to get here."

"Sounds like you have a story to tell us about your trip." Harm wasn't sure what to make of Mattie's less than friendly greeting towards Mac this evening, when Mattie had been so worried about her a few days ago.

"Because of the late booking, I had to make multiple plane changes to get here. I left San Diego last night and had a stop in Atlanta before flying from there to Dulles. Even though it was late, Harriet met me at the airport. I gave her gifts for the children, and she gave us a present. Harriet said that we needed to open it on Christmas Eve. She also gave me the annual Roberts' family Christmas photo to show you. We had a nice visit before my flight from Washington to New York boarded. During the layover in New York, I bought some postcards to send to the Roberts' children and Chloe, and two pizzas, the one I ate before boarding the plane for London and the one that Mattie just had."

"May I be excused?" Mattie requested.

Harm thought that he should talk to Mac before she or they talked to Mattie, so he granted Mattie permission to leave the table.

Mattie scooped up her dirty dishes and moved to the kitchen.

Knowing that Mattie had to pass back through the dining room to go to either the living room or her bedroom, Harm and Mac sat in silence, finishing their dinner.

Mac was envious that Harm hadn't needed to say a word to get Mattie to take her dirty dishes to the kitchen.

Mattie passed by them a few moments later on her way to her bedroom, but Harm and Mac remained silent until the last bites of their dinner were gone.

Harm stood and started to clear the table. "You've had a long journey. Why don't you go ahead and get ready for bed? I'll do the dishes, check on Mattie and be in soon."

Mac picked up the last few remaining items on the table. "Let me help get these to the sink and then I'll get ready for bed." Mac followed Harm to the kitchen and put down the dishes before going to the bedroom to change.

**MOMENTS LATER **

Mattie was in her room and heard the door to Harm's room close. She thought that they'd gone to bed, so she headed to the kitchen to get a soft drink.

Mattie found Harm washing dishes. "I thought you'd gone to bed," Mattie said.

"Not yet, I'm trying to figure out how to ask Mac about a doctor's appointment that she told neither one of us about."

"I never thought about that." Mattie reached for a towel to dry the dishes that Harm had washed.

"I sent Mac to bed because she looks every bit as tired as you said she did. I see why you've been worried."

Mac had gotten ready for bed, but grew impatient waiting for Harm, so she'd decided to go help Harm get the dishes done so that he could join her sooner.

Mac arrived at the kitchen doorway just in time to hear that Mattie had been worried about her. Mac entered the kitchen.

"No need to worry about me. I actually had a check up this past Friday, and the doctor said that I'm healthy. She hoped that I'd be able to take a few days off and get some rest over the holidays, but other than that, I'm fine," Mac informed them.

Harm breathed a little easier, but Mattie was so relieved that, without thinking about her actions, she went over and hugged Mac. "I'm so glad that you're okay."

Mac was surprised and thrilled at the same time by the genuine affection that Mattie was displaying and returned the hug without hesitation. "Thank you."

Mac released the hug when Mattie began to pull away.

"I came in to get something to drink. If you can finish the dishes, Harm, I'll get my drink and go back to my room," Mattie said while placing the drying towel back on the rack.

"Yeah, go ahead," Harm replied, and Mattie moved to get a cold soft drink.

Harm asked, "Mac, would you like a cup of tea? It might help you sleep."

Mattie slipped quietly from the room.

"No thank you. Really, I'm fine. Do you want me to dry those last few dishes?"

"No, I want you to go start getting some of that rest you need."

Mac moved close to Harm and kissed him on the cheek. "Come to bed soon."

Harm watched as her cream-colored silk robe-covered-body moved gracefully out of the room. The memory of the nightgown that matched that robe fluttering through his mind made it hard to return to his chore, but he did, once she was out of sight.

Once the dishes were finished, he went to check on Mattie. The swings in Mattie's reactions to Mac from caring to indifference and back again had him baffled.

Harm knocked on Mattie's door and, with her reply of "come in," he opened the door and took a step inside.

"Mattie, are you okay?" Harm asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm glad that Mac's okay."

"Me, too, and I'm happy that I didn't have to ask about an appointment that I didn't know about."

"Yeah, could've been awkward," Mattie commented.

"Good night, Mattie."

"Good night, Harm."

Harm left the room, sure that Mattie had been crying before he'd entered her room. If Mac was still awake, maybe it was time for him to talk to her about Mattie and his assessment of why she was behaving so strangely. Harm was hoping that Mac was still up so they could talk, and yet he hoped that Mac was asleep because talking wasn't the only thing that he wanted to do, and she really did look exhausted.

Harm's bedside lamp was on when he entered the room. He stripped down to his boxers before he lifted the covers on the right side of the bed and slipped in. He switched his alarm clock on, turned off the lamp and pulled the covers up over himself. He'd just put his head on the pillow, trying to settle in without waking Mac when she began to snuggle against him. His arms not resisting the chance to hold her, he moved to allow her to get as close to him as she wanted. She rested her head on his shoulder, and his arms moved around her as she wiggled her body as close to his as possible.

He spoke softly. "I thought you were asleep."

"I've been waiting for you. I wanted to know if you had any clue yet as to why she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. In fact, I believe the opposite is true. When Mattie and I had our talk the other night, she was worried about you. She said that you worked long hours and were very tired."

"She did seem to be happy when I mentioned I'd had a checkup and that I was okay."

"During our talk the other night, I also found out that Mattie still doesn't have the confidence level in herself that she had prior to the accident. I think it amplifies the usual teenage worries about having friends and fitting in. When we were talking about school and her grades, I think that the residual affects that her injuries left, like her short term memory issue, is causing her more trouble with studying than she's been leading us to believe. Also, she had me mail some postcards for her a few days after she arrived. One of them was addressed to Miss Nancy at the foster house where she lived, but the note that she wrote was to Tyler. I think she enjoyed having someone who looked up to her and I think she misses him." Harm paused for a moment before adding, "I have a theory of why her emotions run so hot and cold towards you, too."

"A theory, huh...so you're saying that you have a guess?" She was smiling. "Let me hear it."

"Do you remember telling me that you wondered if she wasn't really mine because of something she said?" Mac nodded to keep him talking so that she could hear this theory of his. "And do you remember me telling you that she's like you because she wants time to deal with things internally before she's ready to talk or ask questions?"

"Yes," Mac answered.

"She's like us in a lot of ways. She loves you, but she isn't ready yet to admit it. Since her mother died, I don't think that she's quite ready to accept you in the mothering role that you have in her life. I think the reason why she hasn't talked to you about it is because she doesn't know if she can...and you probably feel that since you visited her when she was in the hospital, took custody of her, saw to her daily needs and so on that she should know that you'll be there for her, but I think that she needs to hear you say that you aren't going anywhere no matter how much she pushes you away because you love her."

"Do you really think that will help? Can it be that easy?" Mac was sleep deprived, and she yawned as she spoke.

"Well, it seemed to work for me with you."

She lifted her head off his shoulder and whispered "I love you" against his lips before their lips touched in a tender kiss.

Their lips parted. "I love you," Harm replied.

Here in a place where she felt warm, comfortable, safe and loved, Mac's eyelids were becoming too heavy to stay open. Once her eyes were closed, she drifted quickly to sleep.

"This is what I miss most when we aren't together…just being with you," Harm said, tightening his hold on her just a little.

The even breaths and the lack of response to his words let Harm know that Mac had fallen asleep. Any more talking would have to wait.

Having Mac here and the joy of being able to hold her kept him from falling asleep right away. However, once his mind had wrapped itself around the reality that she was really here, he relaxed and fell into a deep sleep himself.


	48. Chapter 48

**PART SIX – The Rest of the Story **

**THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2005**

Harm woke, lying on his side with Mac's form against his back and her arm draped over him. As his body started to shake off the morning haze of sleep, his mind lingered on the thought of skipping his morning run and making love to the woman lying behind him, but he forced himself to slip from bed without waking her.

The decision to leave their bed hadn't been an easy one. It was the right one, though, because Mac needed to rest and, with no resolution in the Mac and Mattie situation, a change in routine immediately after Mac's arrival might cause more tension between the two of them.

Harm returned from his run to the aroma of coffee brewing. He went into the kitchen where Mac was standing in her robe, making the egg and milk mixture to dip bread in for French toast.

"I went for a run so you could sleep. I didn't want to wake you," Harm commented after he'd entered the kitchen.

"You didn't wake me. Mattie knocked on the bedroom door eight minutes ago. You'll get the first plate of French toast because she's in the bathroom."

"I usually wake her on my way to get in the shower when I get back. Why did she wake you?"

"I imagine that she didn't think that you'd have what she needed. I had a couple tucked in my luggage, but she and I will have to go to the store today."

It took until about half of Mac's words were out for him to realize what she was talking about, and she knew immediately when it hit him because he got that look that men get when the topic of the female cycle comes up. "What's the matter, Harm? Have you forgotten what it's like to live with a woman?" she teased.

"I don't think a getaway of a weekend or week can be considered living with a woman...and Jennifer took care of 'girl needs' when Mattie was with me and living next door." Harm paused, but not long enough for Mac to comment before he asked, "Do you want to use the car?"

Mac was amused by his 'switch gears' style of replying. "No, you use it. We'll take a taxi. I'll pick up the things on your list on the front of the fridge while we're out, too," she said before handing him a cup of coffee with a big smile on her face before returning her attention to the French toast in the skillet.

"Does your plan for the day include getting any rest like the doctor suggested?" Harm asked with a raised eyebrow.

"After you've gone to work, I'll clean up the kitchen and get dressed. We'll go to the store, and the rest of the day depends on how she feels. I'd like to talk to her today, but I don't want to push her." Mac offered him a plate of French toast. "I rested well not sleeping alone last night..." she said, her voice sounding almost like a purr. "...but I'll take a nap if there's time."

He'd noticed it several times while Mattie had been here visiting, but without enough hands to eat and drink while standing, Harm had to put his coffee cup down on the counter and realized how much he missed the counter facing the cook where a person could eat and talk to the cook at the same time. So, forced to stand to eat his breakfast this morning or having to leave Mac in the kitchen alone to sit at the table, Harm made a mental note that any house they bought would have to have a breakfast bar.

Harm took the fork from the side of his plate and cut through the corner of one slice of toast. "Did the doctor say anything other than you need to get some rest?" he asked before putting the bite of French toast in his mouth.

"A few things."

"Like..."

"It wasn't a regular doctor. She was a specialist," Mac confessed.

"What kind of specialist and what did she say?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

"After I was shot, the surgeon who removed the bullets said that the endometriosis made it difficult to locate one of them, so he had to remove some of the tissue to find it. He said that he couldn't be sure because it wasn't his area of expertise, but that the surgery should have improved my chances of getting pregnant. He said that, after I'd healed completely from the shooting, I should check with my doctor to see if my chances had improved. With the wedding and moving, it took me until now to have time to see someone."

"Are they better?" Harm asked with more understanding as to why she hadn't mentioned the appointment to him before now. She hadn't wanted to get his hopes up.

"Some...she moved it up to ten percent," Mac replied, looking down at the French toast in the skillet. "She says that I can maximize the chances of becoming pregnant by doing things to take better care of myself like reducing my stress, eating healthier, getting enough sleep...that kind of thing. When she asked if or for how long I'd been trying, I told her about our separate living status and why it was that way. She told me that it didn't have to stop us and she said that, when I knew when you were going to be in town next, I should call and make an appointment for her to meet with both of us to discuss options."

Mac hadn't looked up from her cooking once while she spoke, and Harm knew that, though she'd done nothing to cause her condition, it still made her feel badly that they might never have a child of their own.

Harm didn't get a chance to comment on what Mac had said because a voice from the other room halted their conversation.

"Harm, I'm out of the bathroom so you can shower." The voice was moving closer. "Is that Mac's French toast I smell?" Mattie asked as she appeared in the doorway.

Mac answered with a smile, "Yes it is." She then put a couple of slices of French toast on a plate for Mattie.

"It was very good," Harm said as he moved to put his plate in the sink. While he was doing that, Mac topped off his coffee. He reached for his cup, kissed Mac on the cheek and moved towards the doorway. "I'm headed to the shower."

After Harm showered, he returned to the kitchen to find Mac alone and standing at the sink with her back to him.

Harm moved quietly, but Mac didn't need to hear him. She felt his presence and knew that he was there even before his arms snaked around her waist. He nuzzled his face into her hair until he had access to her neck. He placed a delicate kiss just below her ear. She turned in his arms, and they were in a sensual kiss in a second.

"You'd better leave now or you're going to be very late," Mac said after the kiss had come to a natural close.

Her voice was sexy, and he wanted to stay, but he reluctantly pulled away. "I'll see you later."

Mac walked with Harm to the door and kissed him on the cheek for fear that a _real _kiss would only heighten the desire to be with him that she'd been feeling since their earlier kiss.

With Harm off to work, Mac went back to the kitchen.

Mac had washed, dried and put away some dishes and had started to wash another set when she felt eyes on her. She turned to see Mattie, dressed and standing in the doorway.

"Do you want something else to eat?" Mac asked.

"No, I came to see if you needed any help."

"You could dry and put away," Mac replied with a smile.

Mattie pulled the drying towel from the holder and went to work alongside Mac. Mac was afraid to break the spirit of cooperation, so they finished the dishes without talking.

When the last of the dishes were washed, Mac said, "That's all of them, and, since you're ready to go, I'll leave you to finish drying and putting away while I get ready. Thank you for your help."

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

With the dishes done and put away, and Mac dressed and ready to go on their errand to the store, they left the apartment.

Mattie pointed out a couple of places that she and Harm had visited as they passed them in route to the store, but they had no real conversation on the way to or from the store or while they were shopping.

When they arrived back at the apartment, they worked together to unpack their purchases and put them away. Though they hadn't talked much, things had gone pretty well, and Mattie had been helpful this morning, so Mac asked Mattie if she felt up to going out to lunch. Mac thought that things were looking up for them when Mattie accepted her invitation.

During the taxi ride to the restaurant, Mac kept the conversation simple. Mac asked about other places that Mattie had seen and about places that she still wanted to visit.

For her part, Mattie kept the conversation going by telling Mac the highlights of the places that she'd seen with her grandparents and with Harm.

During lunch, they talked about the climate differences between San Diego and London, and other such meaningless drivel. Without the tension of recent months between them, the atmosphere was like those days in the hospital when Mattie always seemed glad to have Mac around to talk to, and lunch was over much too soon to suit Mac.

The taxi ride back to the apartment was quiet because Mac didn't want to spoil the mood, and Mattie was staring out the window, appearing to be deep in thought.

Coming back inside the apartment, the Christmas tree caught Mac's attention.

Mac was talking more to herself than to Mattie, but Mattie heard her say, "I need to unpack the presents that I brought and the gift that Harriet gave me and put them under the tree."

Mattie was sitting on the couch, staring at the Christmas tree when Mac returned from the bedroom, carrying several boxes wrapped in Christmas paper.

Mac, trying to keep up the polite chat of the day, asked Mattie if she had all of her Christmas shopping done or if they should plan a day of shopping for tomorrow.

"Mac, do you know what Harm said that he wanted most for Christmas?"

"No, what does he want? We still have time to get it for him," Mac replied.

"I don't think you can buy it. He said that he wants a family Christmas. Do you know what he means?"

"I think I do," Mac said before sitting down next to Mattie on the couch. "He wants us to have the kind of family traditions that our families might have had if other things hadn't gotten in the way, like his father being shot down." Mac paused, thinking about her own reasons that the holidays didn't invoke such pleasant memories for her either. "Anyway, he wants us each to share a family memory or tradition and blend them together this year to start our own traditions, but most of all, he wants the three of us to be together and to appreciate the fact that our family is able to be together for Christmas."

"He usually goes to The Wall, but he can't do that this year," Mattie said sadly.

Mac felt a little twinge of guilt because she knew that he hadn't gone last year either since he'd spent the night with her in a hospital. An idea entered Mac's thoughts.

"It won't be the same, but we might be able to do something about that," Mac stated.

She had Mattie's attention, and the two ladies hatched a plan. Mac made a call to have the plan executed. The arrangements didn't take long, so they still had time before Harm was scheduled to be home. Mac didn't want to spoil the mood of the day by stirring bad memories in Mattie, but she wanted to know if Mattie had a special memory or Christmas tradition that could be incorporated into this Christmas.

"Mattie, is there something special that your family did at Christmas or something that you always wished that your family would do?"

Mattie became somber as she replied to Mac's question. "It's stupid."

Mac pushed until she got Mattie to spit it out.

"My mom and I would make cookies on Christmas Eve before I went to bed." Mattie's voice cracked from emotion. "We'd leave three cookies out, one from each of us for Santa. Even when I knew that Santa wasn't real, we still baked cookies and left them for him. I'd go to sleep on Christmas Eve with the house smelling like fresh baked cookies." Mattie paused for a few seconds. "See, I told you it was silly."

Mac's childhood, even at the holidays, held no fond memories, so Mac was a little envious. "It isn't silly." Mattie's mother had left Mattie with memories of happier times that would serve to comfort her as she grew older. Mac's voice was laced with the sympathy that she felt for Mattie's pain at the loss of her mother. "What kind of cookies?"

"My mother liked those family magazines by the checkout at the grocery store. She'd make one batch of a new cookie from a recipe that she'd gotten out of one of them first and then a batch of chocolate chip cookies because they're my favorite."

"Mattie, if or when you're ready, I'd be honored if you'd let me bake cookies with you."

That's when the dam on Mattie's emotions broke. Mattie's tone was angry and she was screaming. "Why? Why would you want to bake cookies with me? You don't care about me. You wanted Harm, and you had to take me to get him." Tears were streaming down Mattie's face as she fled from the living room.

Mattie's outburst was so loud that they didn't hear Harm enter the apartment. He hadn't heard any of the rest of the conversation, only Mattie's ranting.

Mac sat stunned on the couch and came out of her trance only when she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder from behind.

"I'll go talk to her," Harm said with his hand resting on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her.

Mac sat up straight and placed her hand over his, patting it as she spoke. "No, it's time that she and I talked. If she isn't ready, she'll just have to listen." Mac rose from the couch and headed to Mattie's room.

Harm knew that this 'talk' needed to happen and, with concern that Christmas would be ruined for everyone, he watched Mac leave the room. Once out of his sight, Harm decided that he should take a more strategic position and moved into the hall in time to see Mac knock on the Mattie's bedroom door while opening it. Harm moved closer. Mac had left the door ajar, and he moved close enough to hear without being seen.

Mattie was on her bed, lying on her stomach with her face buried in the pillow. "Mattie," Mac began. "I was trying to find a tradition that you'd want to incorporate into our family Christmas. I know that you may not be ready to share memories of your mother and I understand, but you need to know that, when you are ready, I'm here. I know that you may never be ready to bake cookies with anyone else, but I'd be honored to bake them with you if you ever want to." Mac paused, wondering if Mattie was listening. "I didn't want to upset you and I'm sorry that I did."

Mac needed to get it all out while she had the thoughts formed in her head. "Mattie, we agreed last week on the phone that we needed to talk. We were having such a wonderful day that I hoped that we could talk today about this. I know that you're upset right now and not in the mood to talk, but I need you to listen." Mac sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Mattie's hair. "I don't know where you got the idea that I don't want you, but that isn't true. I have no proof to offer you other than to say that I do want you, that I consider you as much my daughter as Harm's and that I love you. All I can give you is my word that it's true."

Mattie rolled over to look at Mac. "Why did that Chloe girl get to sit next to you at the rehearsal dinner then?"

"Chloe had flown in for the wedding, and I hadn't seen her in awhile. I wanted Chloe to know that she was important to me, and it was important to me that she'd come. I never dreamed that, by making her not feel left out, it would make you feel that you weren't important to me. At the time of the wedding, I'd been your guardian and living next door to you for almost three months, and I thought that you'd like the break from me, especially with Harm in town. You hadn't seen him in all that time and you weren't going to have much time together because of the wedding and the honeymoon. I put the two of you together so you two could have time together at the rehearsal dinner. We were going to be a family. I thought you knew that I loved you, but I guess I'd never said it, so how would you know? I know it's late, but I hope it isn't _too_ late...I _do_ love you."

The tears in Mac's eyes told Mattie that she should believe her, but it wasn't that easy. "Are we done now? I want to take a nap before Harm gets home."

Mac didn't tell Mattie that Harm was already home. She simply nodded and retreated from the room. Once Mac had pulled the door closed, she ran to the master bedroom, right past Harm. Harm knew from the sound of sniffles as she went by that Mac was crying.

Harm stood in the hall, unsure of which of the females in his life needed him more at the moment. After sorting through it for a few moments, he moved towards their bedroom. Mac and Mattie needed to resolve this, and Mattie needed time to process the things that Mac had said before anyone talked to her again.

Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed with a tissue in hand when Harm came into the room. Between the tears and sniffles, Mac managed to say, "I don't know which is worse, thinking that she hates me or knowing that she doesn't believe that I love her." Her crying became more audible, and the tears flowed more freely as she spoke. "Worse yet, I've ruined your Christmas."

Harm sat next to Mac and put his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her to him, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "My Christmas isn't ruined," he began. "You answered her questions and you're giving her space to think about what you've said. You've learned that she doesn't hate you because you don't care if someone loves you or not if you don't love them. I think that we felt that fighting for her in court would be all the proof that she'd need. Neither of us thought that she'd be so insecure after we made her part of our family that she'd feel this way, but we were wrong."

She placed her palm on his cheek. "I love you a little more every day," she said before applying a soft kiss to his lips. "You're home early," she added with a sniffle.

"Yes, a couple of hours."

Mac began to unbutton his uniform shirt. She needed to be comforted by his love for her. "Mattie said that she was going to take a nap until you got home, so we have time."

Their movements were slow and methodical as the layers of clothing came off. Their kisses became more intense and passionate as anticipation of their exposed flesh touching the other's built within them. The first contact of skin on skin caused each of them to release a sigh of delight and the temperature of their bodies to jump a few degrees.

Touching and kissing in exploration of each other kept the pent up love and desire from the past three months from unfolding too fast, but when the time was right, he covered her body with his until the pangs of need gave way to the tingling sensations of satisfaction.

After coming down from their high and regaining their breath, they settled into a post coital snuggle.

His loving compassion had made her strong, and riding out this storm with Mattie no longer felt as insurmountable as it had before.

Though the problem with Mattie hadn't been resolved, Mac had an observation on another matter. "I would have slept better if we'd done that last night."

"You were exhausted and needed to rest, and I didn't want you to think that it was the only thing that I missed about having you here. I miss little things like seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. I can't tell you how much better I slept last night just because you were here or how much better my day was because I woke up next to you."

He let the room fall silent for a few moments. Mac was smiling. He was a good man, and she didn't know how she'd gotten so lucky.

It was Harm who broke the silence with a question that had been plaguing his mind often as of late.

"While we have a few minutes to talk, I want to know how long you think we should wait for me to get orders to San Diego before I put in for retirement."

They talked about a time frame until it was concluded that, in March, about the time of their six month wedding anniversary and the one year anniversary of their engagement announcement, if no billet had opened up, he'd put in his paperwork to retire.

As the discussion about when Harm would be able to join them in San Diego ended, so did their intimate time together because it was time to discuss the topic of what to have for dinner and get out of bed to prepare it.

Mac said that she was too upset to eat, but Harm's look of love and concern melted her resolve, and she relented and agreed to have some soup. Harm got up and slipped on clothing that he usually wore when he took his runs.

Harm's plan when he reached the kitchen was to heat the soup for Mac, and if Mattie hadn't come out of her room before it was finished, he'd serve Mac dinner first and then wake Mattie later for dinner. Harm had the pan out and the can of soup open, but that was as far as he'd gotten when Mattie appeared in the kitchen.

"Did Mac tell you that we had a fight?" Mattie questioned.

"Not exactly ... I was coming in the door as you were yelling." He paused and waited for a reaction from Mattie. Once he saw a nod of acknowledgement from her, he continued, "I think you need to know something. After I proposed to Mac, she asked me if you'd be okay with us getting married. From the start, Mac was respectful of your place in my life and she knew that she needed to accept it. I assumed that, because you knew how I felt about Mac, you'd accept her. I should've known better based on my own experience with my step-father, but I was wrapped up in my own happiness and didn't really think it through."

Harm had poured the soup into a pan and it had started to heat, so he stirred the soup while he continued to speak, occasionally looking at Mattie to see if she was listening to him. "I also don't think that you're looking at the facts objectively. For instance, if you remember our first visit to court, Mac volunteered to have you stay with her. She didn't have to do that. If your theory were correct, she could have said nothing, and I'd probably still be filing appeals for your custody. More recently, wasn't it Mac who made sure that you celebrated your birthday in San Diego, even though it was early so that you could celebrate it with your friends? You emailed me that you had a great birthday and that, because Mac and my parents had given you cash for your birthday, you had money to spend while you were here. Mac didn't have to do that. She could just have let you have cake and ice cream with me here on your actual birthday."

After a moment to make sure that Harm had stopped talking, Mattie spoke. "She asked if there was a Christmas tradition that I remembered, and it upset me. That's why I yelled at her."

"Was it talking about the tradition or remembering your mother that upset you?" Mattie was staring at him with a blank expression. Harm assumed that she was contemplating the answer, so he thought that he'd give her more time to think about it. "I have a theory. You want to hear it?" Mattie nodded in the affirmative. "I think you know that Mac loves you and I think you love her, but it scares you because you think that you'll forget your mother if you let Mac be there for you. I know that I thought that I'd be betraying my father if I liked Frank. For me, it was easy to dislike Frank because he and I didn't have much in common, but when I went to my mother and Frank to tell them that I thought that my father was in Russia, Frank was the first to offer his support and help. Frank held no grudges. He'd loved me all along, and it was my loss that I hadn't embraced it." Harm removed the pan of now heated soup from the burner on the stove and paused again. He wondered whether or not he should just tell Mattie about Mac's childhood. After deciding that it wasn't his life to talk about, he tried to send Mattie in the right direction for answers that might give her more understanding. "You told me once that you and Jennifer talked a lot. Did the two of you ever talk about Mac?"

"No. Well, not exactly...I mean her name would come up sometimes when we were talking about you."

Harm was pouring the hot soup into bowls. "You and Mac have a lot in common. I think you'd be surprised at how much she really understands of what you're feeling if you'd give her a chance."

"After what I said, I don't think that she'll ever want to talk to me again. Besides, I don't know what to say to her."

"She'll talk to you. If you can't think of anything else to start with, ask her if she has a Christmas tradition or memory that she'd like to include. Mattie, you need to know that, even if you don't resolve this with Mac, she'll always be someone you can trust, someone you can turn to if you need anything."

Mattie said that she understood and left the kitchen to eat her soup in her room. Harm took his and Mac's soup to their room.

Harm returned to the kitchen after they'd finished their soup to put the dishes in the sink.

After deciding that the dishes could wait to be washed in the morning, he returned to the bedroom, hoping that Mac would be willing to continue with their intimate reunion.

Mac knew that she and Mattie hadn't resolved things, but in their room and in their bed, everything felt right, and she was more than willing to set aside her troubles to love Harm and be loved by him.

They made love to each other until, spent from their union, they fell asleep and stayed that way until morning came.


	49. Chapter 49

**PART SEVEN – Road to Resolution **

**FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2005**

An unfamiliar noise woke Harm and Mac. They looked at each other, asking the silent question, 'What was that?'

Mac mouthed the word 'kitchen,' and Harm agreed that the noise was coming from there. Mattie was the only one in the family who was unaccounted for, but Harm's alarm wasn't going to go off for another ten minutes...so why would Mattie be up at this hour? This led to the question: was the noise Mattie or someone or something else?

Harm slipped from bed, pulled on the sweat pants and t-shirt from last night and left the bedroom to determine what or who was in the kitchen.

Mac, not one to leave Harm's six unprotected to begin with, got out of bed and slipped on her robe to follow him. She certainly wasn't going to let him march out there without backup now that she had a vested interested in said six.

Harm stopped in the kitchen doorway, and Mac placed her palms on his back, waiting for him to make his move because, with him standing up straight and her without heels on, she couldn't see over his shoulder to see what he saw.

Knowing that no one was in any danger from the person standing in the kitchen, Harm stepped through the doorway, allowing Mac to enter as well. What they found was Mattie washing the dishes that he'd left in the sink the night before.

Mattie's voice was chipper. "Hi. Everyone else has taken a turn at cooking breakfast, so I thought it was my turn. Any requests?" she asked with a smile.

Mattie's attitude this morning seemed friendly, and Mac, feeling relieved, had no trouble matching Mattie's smile with one of her own as she asked, "What are you planning to have?"

"Oatmeal, toast and juice," Mattie answered.

"I'll have that, too," Mac said cheerfully.

"Make it three," Harm added.

"Do you want me to start the coffee while Harm's out running?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, that would be great," Mattie answered.

Harm wasn't sure that he wanted to leave the two of them alone, but everything seemed okay...and maybe they'd talk while he was out.

"I'll get my sweatshirt and be on my way." Harm retrieved the heavier shirt and went on his run, trying not to worry about what might be going on in the apartment while he was gone.

No one knew how far he ran on any given day, so he didn't run for as long this morning as usual and returned to the apartment sooner than normal. He entered the apartment, heard laughter and smelled bacon. He moved cautiously towards the kitchen. After last night, he was skeptical that things were fine this morning.

"Where did I get bacon for anyone to fry?" he asked, entering the kitchen.

Two of the biggest, brightest, most innocent-looking smiles beamed at him from their faces.

Mac replied in defense, "Mattie wanted it yesterday when we went to the store."

Mattie's response was, "Mac bought it."

"What happened to having oatmeal?" he inquired.

"We're still having it. We didn't take anything off the menu. We just added bacon to our breakfast," Mac explained.

Harm matched the grins on their faces with a flyboy grin of his own. "Am I eating breakfast now or after I shower?"

Mac and Mattie looked at each other and then at Harm. "Our bacon isn't ready yet, so you should go ahead and eat first," Mattie replied.

"If you'll go have a seat at the table, I'll bring it to you," Mac added.

Harm complied, and soon Mac was bringing a cup of coffee and a glass of juice to the table. Mac disappeared, and Mattie came in with a bowl of oatmeal sitting on a plate with a slice of whole wheat toast on the side. Mattie disappeared, and Mac returned with some silverware. Harm reached for Mac's hand as she set the silverware down on the table. "Did the two of you talk while I was gone?"

"No, but we agreed that we would after we got you off to work." Mac leaned over and placed a tiny kiss on his lips, stood upright again and pulled her hand from his. "You'd better eat your breakfast or you'll upset the cook," she said over her shoulder.

Mac walked away from the table, but returned a few minutes later with more silverware for her and Mattie and a cup of coffee. After setting down those items, she left again, returning this time with a small and a large glass of juice. On the last trip, Mac brought in her breakfast and joined him at the table. A few moments later, Mattie came in with her breakfast and sat down to eat with them where Mac had placed her large glass of juice.

Harm finished eating and excused himself to shower and ready himself for work. Standing in the shower, he wondered if he'd entered or exited the Twilight Zone. The difference between yesterday afternoon and this morning was too weird to be explained any other way.

Harm left for work, hoping that the morning hadn't been an illusion created for him and that they would indeed talk today while he was gone. He knew that there'd be no overnight fix, but he prayed that bringing the issues to light had started them on the road to resolution.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and Harm, as a 'gift' to his staff, sent all non-essential personnel home to begin their holiday around 1130. He had a few more things to do around the office, but he made it home by 1230.

Harm entered the apartment and couldn't resist announcing his arrival in a very old fashioned way. "Honey, I'm home."

Not one but two tear-streaked-faced females met him at the entrance to the living room, each picking a side and moving in to greet him. They almost squeezed the air out of him as they hugged him. When the two ladies pulled back, he said with concern, "You've both been crying. Should I be worried?"

Both ladies shook their heads, indicating a negative response.

It had been a rough morning, but Mac finally found her voice. "No need to worry." Harm looked at Mattie who nodded in agreement.

"Is anyone going to tell me what happened?" Harm asked.

"Later," the ladies said in unison.

Mac turned to talk to Mattie. "Do you want to shower first or do you want me to go first?"

"You go ahead," Mattie replied.

Mac turned to Harm. "We've been talking all morning and we haven't even gotten dressed yet. Your parents called seven minutes ago. They're back in London and want us to meet them for an early dinner, but Mattie and I have someplace that we want to go before that. I'll get my shower and be out in a few minutes. Harm, if you'll take us in the car, we'll have time to do our errand, return to unload and still be on time to meet your parents."

Harm didn't know what was going on or where they needed to go, so his response was a simple and confused, "Okay."

Mac left the room to shower and had been out of the room for all of thirty seconds when Mattie started talking.

"After we finished the breakfast dishes, I asked Mac what family tradition she was going to include in our Christmas. She said that she didn't have one. I didn't know that Mac's father was an alcoholic or that her mother had left her. Her mother didn't die - she just left her! As Mac was telling me her story, I found it so sad that I started crying and then, because I was crying, she started crying. You were right. Mac does understand more than I thought."

Mac returned to the living room in her robe to tell Mattie that she'd dress in the bedroom so that Mattie could have the bathroom. Harm knew that it was time for him to change, too, if he was going to be ready when they were.

Mac made a mental note on the way to the bedroom that, when they bought a house, she wanted a master suite with a walk in closet and a bathroom that had a big tub.

Harm entered the bedroom and was hoping that he wouldn't have to prod Mac for her version of what had happened, but she wasn't forthcoming with any information. He waited until he'd stripped off his uniform to say anything.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going and why it has to be done before we meet my mom and Frank?" Harm asked.

"We're going to the store to get what Mattie and I need to bake cookies tomorrow night. I know that we could wait until tomorrow, but then I won't have time to track down an ingredient if they don't have it at the first store we go to. Before you ask, yes, we have to bake cookies tomorrow. It's something that Mattie did with her mother. I have to do it on the right day, at the right time and with the right ingredients."

"So your talk went well," he said, standing in his white t-shirt with his slacks on but unzipped because he hadn't decided on a shirt yet, so he didn't know if he'd be tucking it in or not.

Mac was completely dressed when she came over to him and slipped her arms around his neck before placing a tender kiss on his lips. Then she pulled her hands from around his neck and backed away. "Yes, it went well. You were right about her and me being a lot alike. I don't think that I allowed myself to think about how similar our lives were until today. I didn't give her all the details. I told her that my father was an alcoholic and that my mother left us when I was fifteen. I didn't tell her that a good Christmas for me was my father not beating my mother. Overall, she talked. I talked. She cried. I cried, and we both feel better."

Harm decided on a shirt as Mac announced the time remaining before they had to meet with his parents. He put on his shirt, zipped his pants, pulled on his sport coat, announced that he was ready to go, and the trio left the apartment.

No one had had lunch, but with an early dinner with his parents, they didn't want to eat too heavy a meal, so they opted to get something light from a cafe before shopping for cookie ingredients.

After getting a snack and stopping at two stores for ingredients, they made their way back to the apartment to unpack the groceries.

With groceries put away, the ladies took a few minutes to freshen up before they left the apartment again, this time to meet Harm's parents for dinner.

For Mac and Mattie, today had been an emotional roller coaster, so when they returned to the apartment after dinner, visiting with Harm's parents and hearing about their tour of Europe over the last few weeks, both Mac and Mattie were worn out and wanted to go to bed.

Mattie went to bed and slept better than she had in weeks.

Mac and Harm went to bed, and Harm tried to get his Marine to spill more about the conversation that she'd had with Mattie, but his tactics backfired. Mac turned the tables on him, and her kisses distracted him so much that he forgot his line of questioning.

They made passionate love, and, as both drifted to sleep, Harm came to terms with the fact that he didn't have to know how or understand why. He just had to accept that, somewhere between breakfast and the tear-stained faces that had greeted him when he'd returned from work, they'd started down the road to resolution of their issues, and that only the two of them could complete the journey.


	50. Chapter 50

**PART EIGHT – Old Traditions Become New **

**SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2005**

Harm skipped his morning run, and he and Mac made love before getting out of bed.

The shower wasn't big enough for two, so Harm showered first. He knocked on Mattie's door on the way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and breakfast while Mac showered.

The day seemed to take on a life of its own, with one activity naturally flowing into the next. Harm's parents came by fairly early. Trish put a couple of presents under the tree and left an unwrapped box next to it. The plain box left near the tree aroused everyone's curiosity, but, between being kept busy and being respectful, no one peeked.

Trish had asked if she could make the holiday meal when it was uncertain if Mac would be able to come to London, and Mac had no problem with keeping that arrangement.

Mac could cook, but she didn't particularly like to and she didn't feel that a big holiday meal was the first meal that she should tackle for Harm's parents, but she, Harm and Mattie all helped with the preparations, following Trish's explicit directions.

The kitchen was too small for four adults to work in at the same time, so Mac, Mattie and Harm found a way to rotate in and out of the kitchen without causing anyone undue holiday stress. Frank, not wanting to be left out, pitched in by setting the table.

Everyone working together made it a real family dinner.

The meal was wonderful, and they were all stuffed when they left the apartment to attend the early evening Christmas Eve service.

After returning from church, they opened the gift from Harriet. The note attached to the cover of the photo album said: Bud and I pulled some photos that had been archived and also made copies of ones that we'd taken through the years to start this album for you.

The first picture was a press photo of Harm receiving his first DFC at the White House Rose Garden just before he'd met Mac for the first time. The next photo was of the two of them dancing at the NATO ball. Next was Harm and Mac at Bud and Harriet's wedding. The next photo was taken at the Sudanese Embassy at some point before they'd become hostages. Next, Harm and Mac were at baby AJ's christening. After that was a copy of the recruitment poster that showed Harm's picture. The next picture was of Mac taken during her '15 minutes of fame' when she was the prosecutor in the first televised court martial. Then came a picture of Harm and Mac crossing the finish line of the JAG-a-thon. Next was a picture of Harm and Mac taken on Christmas Eve 2001, the year they met Jennifer Coates. A copy of one that he already had framed, the two of them next to a Humvee in Afghanistan was next. After that photo was one of Harm and Mac taken at Bud and Harriet's house on Christmas Eve, 2002. The next photo was a picture of Harm and Mac walking arm in arm at the admiral's retirement party. The next page was empty, but Harriet had left a note in the pocket – insert a wedding photo here. The next page had another note: We're sure that your long life together will make it easy for you to fill the remaining pages.

After the photo album was viewed, it was time for Trish to reveal the contents of her box. Trish pulled the box unto her lap and sat there with it in her lap as she spoke.

"Harm told me that this Christmas was about traditions. When I was a little girl, we'd hang our Christmas stockings up on Christmas Eve so Santa could fill them. My Harm and I did that with little Harm until..." Trish trailed off. Everyone in the room knew that the rest of the sentence was...until Christmas Eve 1969.

Trish opened the box and pulled out two matching stocking holders. "Harm and Mattie, I have no idea where he found them, but Harm's father bought these more years ago than I care to admit. He bought two because the two of them had to match." Trish extended her arms, and Harm and Mattie each took one of the metal stocking holders from her hands. They were replicas of an F-4, the type of plane that Harm's father had flown. Trish knew that she'd cry if she didn't keep going.

Trish pulled a third holder out of the box while Harm and Mattie placed theirs on the mantle. "This one..." Trish began as the object cleared the top of the box "...used to sit in the middle between the two planes. I thought the set should stay together, so I brought it for you, Mac." Trish took one last look at her former stocking holder before passing it to Mac.

Mac took the holder and looked at the small, but very detailed scene on top of a weighted wooden base. The scene was a room with a fireplace with stockings hanging from the mantle and a decorated tree nearby. You could see little cookies on a plate with a glass of milk on a table next to a comfy chair. It was the scene of the perfect family Christmas, the one of her dreams and the one that Harm had longed for this year. Mac moved to place her holder on the mantle and watched as Harm and Mattie opened a space between theirs for hers. Mac placed her holder on the mantle between the two planes. It was Mac's turn. If someone didn't say something to break the sentimental mood of the moment, she feared that she'd cry.

Trish broke the silence. "You three aren't done yet. What good are the holders without stockings?" Trish pulled out a green stocking. "This one I bought for Harm because it goes with the color of his eyes." Harm came over for his stocking, kissed his mother on the cheek and moved to hang up his stocking. The next one was red and it was for Mac. Mac came over to Trish and thanked and hugged her before hanging up hers, too. The last one was a golden yellow, and that one was Mattie's. Mattie hugged her grandmother before hanging her stocking up as well.

With the last stockings hung, it was time for Mattie and Mac to start baking cookies.

After the two ladies had moved to the kitchen, Frank asked for a key to the apartment. Harm asked why he wanted the key, and Frank told him that his tradition was to make Christmas morning pancakes and that he'd be over early to get started. When Harm gave him a questioning stare, Frank confessed that it was also so that Santa could fill the stockings. Harm retrieved a key to give to 'Santa.' It wasn't late, but Frank and Trish made the rounds before leaving to say good night and tell everyone that they'd see them tomorrow.

With Frank and Trish gone, it was time to surprise Harm. After setting the timer on their batch of cookies, Mac and Mattie went into the little bedroom and set up Harm's laptop before calling in Harm. They sat him in front of the laptop and opened the file labeled 'Eve.' Mac and Mattie left the room so that Harm could be alone.

A video began to play on the monitor. Harm knew that it must have been shot recently because Christmas lights could be seen in the footage. The photographer had shot the video as if the camera were the person, so, as Harm watched, it was as if he were there walking up to The Wall himself.

When the camera scanned passed the section that Harm knew contained his father's name, he couldn't help but mumble, "Back the other way." As if the camera man could hear him, the camera began to move back until it reached the correct section. Harm's eyes scanned with the camera to find his father's name. The camera began to zoom in on the name, and Harm felt a little more emotional than usual. He guessed that it was because this was the second year in a row that he hadn't been there.

Harm's eyes remained fixed on the name, forgetting that he wasn't really there, but seeing it on a computer monitor instead. He hadn't visited The Wall, but he'd spoken to his dad's picture to tell him about his promotion and being assigned a command position in London. He'd also spoken to his father's picture before leaving London to get married. Harm was so wrapped up in the moment that he spoke to his father as if he were really at The Wall.

"I know that I haven't told you yet that Mac and I had a wonderful wedding and a great honeymoon. We also got custody of Mattie, so you're a grandpa," Harm said out loud before lifting his hand up to allow his fingertips to touch his father's name, but the computer screen wasn't cold like the granite would be, and it broke Harm's concentration and brought him back to reality - he wasn't there.

"I'll try to get there to see you next year, but if I don't, know that I'm thinking about you and that I'm hopefully celebrating Christmas somewhere with my family," he said, letting his fingertips fall away from the screen. He waited a moment to compose himself before he shut down the computer and left the room.

Harm entered the kitchen, kissed both ladies on top of the head and thanked them. He asked who'd done the camera work, feeling sure that it had been Bud, but to his surprise, it had been Bud's brother, Mikey.

Once the cookies were baked and the kitchen was cleaned up, Mattie set out three cookies and a small glass of milk before hugging Harm and Mac and going to bed.

It was the first time in a long time that Mattie had felt at peace, and she went to sleep easily, with the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the air.

In bed, Harm and Mac had to admit that today had been the best Christmas Eve that either one of them could remember. They also agreed that the smell of freshly baked cookies wafting through the air was a wonderful scent to which to fall asleep, but it was apparently an aphrodisiac as well, because they didn't get to sleep until after they'd made love...twice.

**SUNDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2005**

Harm and Mac woke to noise from the other room. This time, Harm was pretty sure that it was Frank making pancakes, but he hadn't shared the information about an early morning visitor with Mac, so it was no surprise to him when Mac grabbed his arm and leaned in to whisper, "We forgot to eat the cookies and drink the milk that Mattie left for Santa, and now she's up. We blew it. I know that she doesn't believe in Santa anymore, but..." She wasn't sure how to explain what a faux pas she felt they'd made.

Harm whispered back, "Don't worry. I'm sure that Santa got the cookies and milk when he filled the stockings." Mac looked at him with an odd expression. "Just because the red-suited Santa Claus who's been described to generations doesn't exist, doesn't mean that someone or something doesn't work to make families happy and miracles happen at Christmas. You just have to believe."

Mac's eyes were wide with curiosity at what his comments meant. In her wide-eyed look, Harm could see the child inside her who wanted to believe in a Santa of some kind. Harm reached for her and his lips crashed down on hers, but she pushed him away. "Did you forget about Mattie? She's awake, and we should go fix her breakfast and let her open her presents."

"It isn't Mattie. It's Santa," he insisted as his lips again fell on hers and, this time, his kiss was so intense that she was caught up in it and couldn't pull away. Harm's steadfast belief that Santa was filling stockings while eating cookies in the other room had drawn her in. She wanted to believe. By the end of that second kiss, her rational thought was gone. Their bodies were now doing all the talking as they loved each other as they had last night.

After lovemaking, Mac lay on top of Harm's body with her head resting on his chest. All of a sudden, her sense of smell was stimulated by an aroma in the air. "Santa's cooking bacon!" Mac said excitedly.

"That isn't Santa. He doesn't cook. Frank's cooking bacon, and there should be some pancakes coming up to go along with that bacon."

"You knew that Frank and Trish were coming this morning and you...you...you had your way with me?"

"Hey, you're on top, so I'd say that you had your way with me," Harm said with a grin and a chuckle. Mac looked horrified and got up immediately. Harm tried to ease what appeared to be embarrassment. "It isn't like we're sixteen and had sex in my parents' bed." Harm shrugged with a boyish expression of innocence on his face. "We're married. If they'd walked in on us, we could've said that we were working on that grand baby that Mom's mentioned."

Mac's cheeks were a beet red color as she scrambled to dress. "You aren't funny, Mister. Now get up."

Harm was finding the situation very funny, but Mac wasn't.

"You'd better go do anything you need to do in the bathroom before I get there in five minutes, because I'm not greeting your parents until after I've had a shower," Mac ordered.

Harm knew that he'd better do as he was told before his wife blew a gasket and he lost his chance to 'have his way with her' tonight.

He stood, slipped on a robe, grabbed his clothes and headed for the bathroom before Mac could threaten to feed his ass to the crabs.

In the bathroom, he opted not to take a shower, but gave himself a quick sponge bath with a warm washcloth before dressing. He feared that five minutes wouldn't leave enough time to shave if he'd showered, and he was sure that his mother would be disappointed in her pictures if he weren't clean shaven, holiday or not.

Having three women in his life was sure making it more complicated.

Harm managed to be shaved and dressed by the time Mac knocked lightly on the door, telling him that his time was up.

Mac was in her robe, holding her clothes when Harm opened the bathroom door. "You can tell Trish and Frank that I'm getting dressed, and then I'll get Mattie up and be in to join you," Mac said as she moved past him to have her turn in the bathroom.

Mac took a quick shower and, after waking Mattie, was in the kitchen in search of breakfast in just under fifteen minutes.

Mattie had used the bathroom, but came into the kitchen in her pajamas for breakfast only a couple of minutes after Mac.

While everyone sat and ate breakfast, Frank explained a tradition that he'd had in his family. "My father would make breakfast on Christmas morning while my mother wrote her list. After breakfast, my mother would start the dishes while my father and my siblings and I wrote our New Year lists."

Mattie asked, "You mean like New Year's resolutions?"

"I suppose you could call them that. My father would've called them goals or want lists. We'd write down things like finish the fifth grade, make the baseball team or save enough money for a new bike. My dad said that we wrote the lists on Christmas day because it was the spirit of the season and the support of our family that would help us achieve what we'd set out to accomplish," Frank said.

"What did you do with the lists when they were finished?" Mattie asked.

"We'd fold them up and put them in an envelope with our name and the date printed on the front, then seal the envelopes and give them to my father. He'd put them in an old shoe box. At Thanksgiving, he'd pull out the old shoe box and we'd get our envelopes before dinner. As a part of our Thanksgiving tradition, before the prayer was said, each one in the family had to give thanks for at least one thing that had happened in the year prior, and reviewing the list usually reminded us of at least one thing that we were thankful for," Frank explained.

After breakfast, everyone moved their dishes to the sink, and Harm, Mac and Mattie wrote their lists while Trish and Frank did the dishes. When the lists were finished, they put them into envelopes with their name and date on them and gave them to Frank to hold until Thanksgiving. Mattie then ran to her room to dress before the rest of the day's activities began.

The scene of the stockings and the decorated tree reminded Trish of the Christmas scene on the stocking holder that she'd passed on to Mac, and she posed everyone for a few pictures before present opening began.

Santa Frank had indeed come and filled the stockings, balancing them nicely with candy, trinkets and a little cash, and he'd eaten the cookies and drunk the milk.

Between her parents and her grandparents, Mattie's gifts included a cell phone, and she was signed up for the drivers' training that she needed to get her driver's license. Mac had the class time scheduled so that Mattie should be able to have her learner's permit by mid-January.

Mac got a bottle of her favorite perfume from Mattie. Mac's gift from Harm was a pair of one carat total weight diamond stud earrings.

Harm got a dark blue and a dark green silk shirt from Mac. Mac said that she couldn't decide which color she liked best...she thought that either went with his eyes, but his ugly shirts were on their way out. Harm laughed, knowing that the shirt that he'd been wearing the day that they'd finally decided to be together was the target of her remarks. Mattie gave Harm a photo of her taken at the wedding reception in a frame bordered in silver.

Harm's parents had booked two additional rooms at their hotel near the airport for New Year's Eve, one for Mattie and one for the newlyweds as a Christmas present to Harm and Mac.

As the day began to give way to night, the curtain fell on the first Rabb family Christmas.


	51. Chapter 51

**EPILOGUE - The Rest of the Year**

After Mattie had opened up, and she and Mac had talked, the tension between them diminished. They enjoyed sightseeing and shopping while Harm worked during the week after Christmas. Each night over dinner, they'd tell Harm of their exploits of the day. They'd be smiling and happy as they spoke, leaving Harm no doubts that they'd truly had a good time together.

Not being a traditional family had the potential for many pitfalls, and Harm had no illusions about his family. This wasn't the movies or television, so having gotten the feelings out in the open didn't magically propel Mattie into feeling like a member of the family and have her calling them mom and dad, but the lines of communication had been opened, giving Harm hope that, between that and the memories of their first Christmas as a family, bonds had been formed between them that would grow stronger over time, cementing their family together.

As someone once said, with joy comes sorrow. Never had the saying rung more true than on New Year's Eve when the joy of preparing to ring in a New Year together also brought the sorrow of their impending separation.

New Year's Eve Day, Mac and Mattie packed up their belongings while Harm went for a short morning run. When he returned, they went out to breakfast and spent time walking around, letting Mattie take more pictures of London.

They returned to the apartment after breakfast and their morning walk to get their luggage. Since Mac and Mattie needed to take all their luggage for their flight tomorrow, there wasn't going to be a way to get their belongings and them in Harm's little car at the same time, so they opted to take a taxi to the hotel. Mac and Mattie had anticipated having to wait for Harm to pack a bag since he'd run this morning while they were packing, but they needn't have been concerned that Harm wouldn't be prepared. His habit of keeping a sea bag packed and ready for last-minute case assignments that sent him across the country or half way across the world to investigate hadn't been broken, even though he was now the one giving and not receiving assignments. This habit, after returning from his wedding trip, had been the inspiration for him to keep a bag of civilian attire packed in case a spur of the moment opportunity to take a trip to see Mac and Mattie presented itself. So, when the taxi arrived, everyone was ready, and once all the bags were loaded, they were off to prepare to ring in the New Year at the hotel where Harm's parents were staying, which had been a Christmas gift from them.

The trio enjoyed lunch at a café within walking distance of the hotel. There was no wind, and the sun was shining, so even though it was winter, they sat outside. Mattie took advantage of the outdoor environment to snap pictures of the skyline, her parents and at least a dozen other things. Looking through the lens to take one picture, Mattie saw that look in Harm and Mac's eyes, the one they got when they wanted to be closer, but were resisting – like in the kitchen when Mac had first arrived. Mattie wanted to greet the New Year and watch the fireworks at midnight with Harm and Mac, but 'that look' told her that they needed time alone, too.

Physically, Mattie was doing well, but they never questioned her if she said that she needed to rest. So, she had a plan. Once lunch was over, Mattie told Harm and Mac that she'd like to take a nap so she wouldn't be too tired to watch the fireworks. It worked like she knew it would. Harm and Mac walked Mattie to her room and said that they'd come back in a few hours and, if she needed anything, to call their room. They'd be taking a nap, too - napping, yeah, right, Mattie thought.

A bed was involved in their plan, but not for napping. Having a teenager in the house in a room mere feet from theirs had them repressing the sounds of their lovemaking. The odd feeling of 'doing it' in a room so close to their teen daughter's had them making another housing note the first night they'd made love at the apartment - master bedroom on another floor, the opposite end of the house, but not next to another bedroom.

Lovemaking in their hotel room this afternoon allowed them the freedom to make noise if they chose to and, somehow, that freedom made a difference, even though nothing more than a few low moans escaped.

A few hours later, Harm called Mattie to wake her. The trio met the Burnetts, and they walked along the street and stopped for a cup of tea while Mattie continued to work on using up her roll of film. They went back to the hotel for dinner and dancing, waiting for midnight. The Burnetts and the Rabbs rang in the New Year together and watched the fireworks before returning to their rooms.

After lovemaking, Harm and Mac drifted to sleep, but he woke three hours later. Their time together was coming to an end, and he couldn't get that thought out of his head and go back to sleep. He held Mac and watched her sleep, moving with her when she moved until the morning light began to seep into the room through a gap in the drapes.

The morning light illuminated her face, accenting her facial features: her high cheekbones, her olive skin, her exotic eyes. Dark circles from fatigue and worry had marred her features ten days ago, but now she was less stressed and looking much more rested. He couldn't watch her any longer without waking her, but he didn't want her to return to work tired. She needed to rest, so he quietly slipped from the bed.

Harm took a shower and shaved, trying to keep things 'normal.' Unfortunately, days like today were becoming too much the norm, waking up next to the woman who had his heart and with whom he wanted to spend his life, and one of them having to get on a plane to leave.

Even though no time was easy, times like these, when they didn't know how long it would be before they saw each other again, were harder than the other times. He emerged from the bathroom, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was placing his shaving kit back into his travel bag when Mac stirred.

Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep because she spoke in a sleepy voice, "Harm, we don't have to leave for the airport for two hours and twenty-one minutes. Come back to bed."

With a request like that, how could he do anything else? He pulled off his towel and crawled into bed. They stayed spooned together until the phone rang with their wake up call.

Mac showered while Harm dressed, and once dressed, Harm went across the hall to make sure that Mattie was getting ready while Mac dressed.

The Burnetts, Mac and Mattie were all going to the airport via the shuttle supplied by the hotel. The goodbyes were hard, but they got them said, and Harm watched as the shuttle pulled away.

Harm took a taxi home and, upon entering the apartment, it immediately felt so empty and quiet, and so much bigger now that he was alone in it that it made him miss them desperately already.

The 'what' that the New Year had in store for them was uncertain, but each of them had hopes and dreams of what they wanted to happen.

The one wish that appeared on all their lists was that, in 2006, the family would be together for more than a weekend or a holiday…and soon.


	52. Chapter 52

**CHAPTER SEVEN - LITTLE DETAILS**

**PROLOGUE **

**SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2005**

It was about 2:20 A.M. Ken and Mark were closing up the Wild Waves Club, located not too far from the naval base in Norfolk, Virginia. It had been a busy Friday night, and they were just getting a chance to take the trash out to the alley dumpster that they'd let pile up by the backdoor.

Ken opened the door and, after surveying the alley and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he motioned to Mark that the coast was clear. Pushing the door fully open, Mark, with Ben's help, hauled several garbage bags passed Ken, leaving him to keep a watchful eye on them from the doorway.

There was a dim light in the alley near the dumpster from the service door of the building next to it, but the alley went on about another fifty feet past the dumpster before reaching the street.

Ken watched the two men take the first couple of steps towards the dumpster before looking down the alley past the dumpster to see if anyone was coming into the alley or watching them.

As the two men threw the bags into the dumpster, Ken saw a flicker of light bounce off glass. The headlights from a car passing the alley on the street had reflected off the glass in a car at the end of the alley. Ken saw the car with the driver's door open, but that isn't what caught Mark and Ben's attention.

As Mark and Ben were releasing the bags of garbage into the dumpster, the headlights shed light on the normally dark half of the alley, revealing a woman lying in a pool of blood on the usually dark side of the dumpster.

Mark had seen a lot during his time in the service, so the woman in a pool blood a few feet from them didn't faze him, or at least not as much as it did Ben. Ben turned pale and looked faint. His youth and skills on the football field hadn't prepared him for the harshness of death that he'd just seen.

The flash of light from the passing car hadn't lasted long, so Mark hadn't been able to take a closer look. However, his gut feeling was that she was dead, but he couldn't be sure.

Mark hollered, "Ken, call the police. There's a woman lying in blood over here."

Ken yelled back. "Is she dead?"

"I can't be sure until I can get some light on the situation, but from the amount of blood I saw, I'd say she's gone." Mark's voice softened. He felt badly for Ben, who'd remained pale and still staring in the direction of the body that had vanished from their sight when the alley had become dark again. "Ben, hurry to the storage room and get me a flashlight."

Ben turned to follow his orders, still unable to wrap his mind around what he'd just seen.

Once the patrol unit had arrived on the scene, the officers' job was simple: start taking down names and addresses of anyone in or around the area as potential witnesses, establish a perimeter around the site, and call in a crimes scenes unit and the homicide detectives.

When the detectives who responded saw the woman's body, they were pretty sure that they'd be turning this case over to the detectives who were working the stripper killings. The victim's throat had been slashed and her body had been found within a few miles of the other bodies. There was no purse or wallet found with her body, and her attire of a mini skirt, a leather jacket over a silk and lace camisole top and at least three inch heels led them to the conclusion that she was a stripper like the other three victims, especially since her body had been found in an alley adjacent to a strip club.

If this were another stripper murder as they thought, this made number four, and they needed to go over this crime scene with a fine-toothed comb because, unlike the other bodies, this one seemed to have been found within a couple of hours of her death and, at the other sites, there'd been no car, just a body. Perhaps this was the one where they'd get a real break as to the killer's identity.

The seasoned detectives who'd responded that night were already forming theories. They decided that it never hurt to look at a crime from more than one angle, whether they got to keep the case or not, so they moved from the site of the body to the car.

Since the car parked at the end of the alley had the driver's door open and a flat tire, their first theory was that it was the victim's. Scenarios of the victim pulling the car just inside the alley to be off the main road to change the tire started to come together in the detectives' minds as they looked around the vehicle. The location of the car was close to the main road, so it was lit by the streetlamp on the corner. Therefore, she probably felt that it would be safer to pull in there and off the main roadway so she wouldn't be in danger of being hit by a car while trying to change the tire. If that were the case, the detectives believed this to be unrelated to the other murders. Either that or the stripper killer had been in the area looking for his next victim and stumbled upon this woman, resulting in a spur of the moment killing. They were leaning towards the latter, given the similarities between this murder and the other three. Somehow, they just didn't think that it was unrelated. A spur of the moment killing made slightly more sense because that would explain the bruises on her face that the previous women didn't have, indicating that this victim either wasn't caught completely off guard by her attacker and had put up a fight, or the killer was becoming more hostile and his need to kill was escalating to the point that he hadn't taken the time to plan this last killing.

A run of the car's license plate and the registration of the vehicle found in the glove compartment gave them the name of Bradford Rodgers as the registered owner. This gave detectives another possible theory or two. The car might belong to someone who ran away after they'd witnessed the murder or, if the police were lucky, it belonged to the murderer, and he'd had a flat with no spare when he attempted to leave the scene of the crime. There were no personal items such as a purse or wallet in the vehicle to suggest that the victim had been in this vehicle, or any information that gave them any clue as to who this victim was. The club's owner and bartender both said that they didn't know who she was. She didn't or hadn't worked for them. So the body was tagged as Jane Doe and zipped into a body bag before she was taken to the morgue.

Before the car was towed to the police crime lab for a full forensics work up, the detectives' hope of being lucky ran out. They found a spare tire in the trunk, so they were back to the theories of the car belonging to either a witness or being used by the victim.

The police were reluctant to say that they had a serial killer on their hands, but if the findings of the medical examiner came back the way the detectives thought they would, they'd have four dead brunette women in four weeks and, if they didn't warn the public of the possibility of a serial killer being out there, the media would.


	53. Chapter 53

**PART ONE – When You Can, Call in a Top Gun**

**THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2006**

**EARLY MORNING....**

Having heard General Cresswell ask Lt. Vukovic to remain in the conference room after the morning staff meeting hadn't sent up any red flags with Lt. Commander Bud Roberts. However, a few minutes later, when a perturbed Lieutenant Vukovic entered Bud's office, Bud knew that what the general had had to say to Vukovic hadn't made the lieutenant happy.

"General Cresswell ordered me to give you the information that I have on the Stanton case. He said that you'll be assisting Stanton's new counsel. The general requested that, once you had the file, you report to him so that he can fill you in personally."

Bud left General Cresswell's office with a smile and, with a spring in his step, headed to his own office to get to work. Vukovic saw Bud and assumed that his behavior was because he and a currently unknown co-counsel had taken a 'big' case away from him, but that wasn't Bud's reason. Bud was charged up about being half of the Rabb/Roberts team again.

After Bud got to his office, he began to review the charges and make arrangements for them to meet with Lt. Stanton later today at the brig in Norfolk. After reviewing the case a little more, he made a few more calls, including one to Harriet, asking her to bring him a sea bag. He'd be in Norfolk for a couple of days.

**LATER THAT MORNING**

Captain Harmon Rabb followed the limo driver whom he'd been told would be waiting for him when his plane arrived.

General Cresswell's call yesterday had informed Harm of his travel arrangements and the reason for his travel. He'd been assigned a case at the request of the Secretary of the Navy. During that same call, General Cresswell had asked Harm whom he wanted to assist him, which had been an easy decision for Harmon Rabb to make. He was certain that, no matter what the case involved, Lt. Commander Bud Roberts was the right person for the job.

When the driver opened the door of the long, black limousine that they'd reached, Harm wasn't surprised to see a familiar face in the limo, but he was surprised that it wasn't the SecNav. Harm may not have recognized her from their one-time meeting at his promotion reception, but since that meeting, she'd made headlines several times for making statements in support of the nation's troops. The occupant was Senator Emily Proxmeyer.

Harm felt certain that her presence meant that he was going to get more information about the case that had brought him here to DC.

Once Harm was seated in the limo and the door was closed behind him, the Senator spoke.

"Captain Rabb, my driver will be dropping you off at JAG headquarters where you're to meet with General Cresswell. No one except General Cresswell, you and I will know about our talk, but I wanted to meet with you personally. I'm sure you'll understand my reasons when were finished here."

"Yes, ma'am," Harm responded in acknowledgment of her statement.

"My sister died of cancer years ago. My nephew was ten when my husband and I took him in, so it's as if he's one of my own children. With that background information to explain the reason for my involvement, I'll get to the point of the matter. My nephew is Lt. Eric Stanton, and he was arrested for the murder of a young woman this past Friday. He probably would have been arrested sooner, but his ship was out of port on a pre-deployment exercise. When the civilian authorities sought to have him brought back to port for questioning, my husband's old college friend, Secretary of the Navy Sheffield, prevented it, and he spent some time getting the DA to turn the matter over to JAG, since, as it turns out, though the murder happened in Norfolk, the victim was in the Navy, too. The one condition that the Virginia police insisted on was that they got to question Eric first."

Emily Proxmeyer was a woman who could pluck words out of the air and form them into complete sentences without rehearsal, but talking about Eric's fate caused her to need a moment to compose herself.

"Eric's had an Article 32 hearing, but when I spoke to him after the proceeding, he informed me that his case is going to trial. He also said that he believes in the system and, since he didn't kill her, he didn't think that he had any reason to be worried. However, he also thinks that the lawyer who was assigned to defend him doesn't believe that he's innocent since the moment that it was clear that his case would go to trial, his attorney told him to take any deal that was offered to avoid the death penalty."

Remembering what her nephew had said about his lawyer had the Senator's ire up, making it much easier for her to put aside her concerns and focus on telling Captain Rabb why she'd asked for him to be assigned the case.

"I first heard your name when I was serving on the Senate Armed Forces committee and I then had the opportunity to meet you when I attended your promotion reception. When I was making some inquiries about my nephew's situation, those whom I've been able to discreetly poll said that you're the lawyer whom they'd want to represent them. When your name came up as the lawyer whom my colleagues would want in their corner, I looked up your record. I must admit that I found it intriguing. I mean, a man who spends his time in the courtroom, but has been awarded honors for flying...an aviator who's also a lawyer and considered to have the skills required to be used as an advisor during Congressional hearings and asked to participate in the first military tribunal in over a hundred years..." She paused for a moment, thinking about other parts of his record. "You know your accomplishments. I don't have to review them for you. The bottom line is that Eric doesn't have faith in his attorney. I can't turn my back and not do anything because, if he were found guilty, I'd always wonder if I could have done something to change that. Since I've managed to make a few friends in the right places over the years, I used my influence to have you assigned to his case."

"I'm flattered, ma'am, but I'd be negligent in my duty if I didn't ask. When you made your decision, did you consider the fact that I haven't been in a courtroom in nearly a year?" Harm asked.

"I appreciate your candor, Captain," the Senator said before pausing for a moment. "I have a question for you. Were you a good lawyer before you were promoted to a command position?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'd like to think so."

"I believe that learned skills stay with you. Like they say, it's like riding a bicycle. I don't think that your absence from the courtroom will have any effect on your ability to defend Eric."

"Yes, ma'am, as long as you feel that you've made an informed decision," Harm replied.

"I've been cautioned by General Cresswell that my direct involvement could be a hindrance to Eric's case, so that's why I met with you like this. Captain, let me be blunt. I'm sure that my nephew is capable of a lapse in judgment, but I'm equally as sure that he isn't capable of murder. I don't want him to be convicted of something that he didn't do and I don't want him railroaded into taking a plea. I want the truth. Am I clear?" Her tone was firm and confidant, but not threatening.

"Yes, ma'am."

Senator Proxmeyer reached out her hand to give him a business card. "My private number is on the back. If you should need my assistance in any way, don't hesitate to call me directly."

"Yes, ma'am."

**JAG HQ**

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**

A commotion in the bullpen had Bud stepping out of his office to see what the fuss was all about. A glaring stare from Lt. Vukovic, who'd stepped out of Bud's old office for probably the same reason as Bud, told him that Vukovic had just seen the lead counsel who was to replace him on the Stanton case.

Bud re-entered his office to wait for Captain Rabb to conclude his meeting with Cresswell. While he waited, his mind wandered back in time to just before Harm's promotion and transfer.

*********FLASHBACK*********

Just before the announcement of Harm and Mac's new orders, Bud had been taking great pride in deflating the 'dream team,' well, the Vukovic half, anyway.

Harm had been guiding Bud's opposing counsel, Lt. Vukovic, on a case. Around the office, the duo of Vukovic and Rabb was being touted as the 'dream team', the idea of which repulsed Bud. He and Harm or Harm and Mac were the 'dream team' in this office.

Bud had to admit that he'd been jealous of the title bestowed on the duo and the apparent bond that they'd formed during the case, so it was no surprise to Bud when he took a great deal of pleasure in getting to the truth of the case and showing up Vukovic.

Upon hearing of Harm and Mac's new duty stations, initially, Bud had felt a sense of pride and elation, and he hadn't been able to hold back his thoughts on what the new post meant for Harm in particular - being a step closer to being the next Judge Advocate General.

Back in his office after the announcement, Bud's enthusiasm waned under the weight of new emotions, personal ones. A sense of loss at having his two mentors and friends leaving him was the most prevalent of those emotions.

When Harm had first asked Bud to go to London, it had released Bud's fears about being without his mentor, and Bud had said yes immediately. Bud had said yes to Harm, based on not wanting to be away from his security blanket. Without Harm in the office, Bud would be out of the shadows and into the limelight, and that scared Bud in ways that he couldn't explain to Harriet.

Bud had let Harriet believe that her arguments about uprooting the children and being away from the doctors at Bethesda were valid reasons for not going. It had been easier than trying to explain his real reason to her.

It had also been easier to let Harriet take the heat for his decision than to explain to Harm that, after thinking it over, it was time that he stood on his own two feet, so to speak, and prove to himself and General Cresswell that Admiral Chegwidden hadn't made a mistake in promoting him to lieutenant commander.

Knowing that Harm and Mac thought enough of his abilities to want him as their XO had been the last shots of confidence that Bud had needed to make a clean break from his mentors. Yet, when General Cresswell had told him this morning that he'd be helping Captain Rabb on a murder case, he'd been filled with the same level of excitement that he'd always felt in the past at being teamed with Harm.

*********END FLASHBACK*********

A knock on the doorframe of his office brought Bud out of his thoughts. Bud looked up from his seated position behind his desk and immediately stood.

"Sir, it's good to see you," Bud said cheerfully.

"Even though my request for you to assist me got you involved in the case that brought me here?" Harm asked with a grin.

"Yes, sir, it'll be great to work with you again, and since General Cresswell has already filled me in on the case, I'm ready to get to work when you are, sir," Bud said, still sounding as cheerful and enthusiastic as he did a moment ago.

"Let's get started then, shall we?" Harm asked.

Bud was grinning from ear to ear as he responded, "Yes, sir."

Bud had barely enough time to tell Harm that they needed to go to Norfolk to meet with their client and that he'd made arrangements for quarters for two nights before Harriet arrived with Bud's travel bag.

Harriet hadn't seen Harm since the wedding, and her excitement at seeing Harm and her questions verifying the fact that Mac was coming to DC this weekend, too, kept Harm and Bud from leaving immediately. However, after getting a tentative agreement from Harm that he and Mac would come to the house for dinner, Harriet gave her husband a quick kiss goodbye, and Bud and Harm headed off to Norfolk to meet with their client.

Harm thumbed through the report as Bud drove them towards Norfolk. As Harm scanned the notes and witness statements, he got the gist of the case.

Lt. Eric Stanton had been seen with the victim, Ensign Tina Rodgers. His semen had been found in the victim and on her underwear, and his fingerprints had been lifted from two places in the backseat of the car at the scene. The body had been found several blocks from the Tango Club, a popular dance club not too far from the base, where they'd been seen leaving together a couple of hours prior to the discovery of her body. The body had been found in an alley adjacent to a strip club called Wild Waves, and the car had been found at the opening of the alley with a flat tire. The closest thing to an eye witness was a woman who'd called into a tip line about the case. She'd seen a man in uniform leaving the alley at the approximate time of the murder.

Harm had been reading over the case, paying more attention to details as they got to the gate at the base in Norfolk. After passing through the gate, Harm commented more out loud than to anyone, "It seems to be a case based on circumstantial evidence. How did this get to trial?" Harm hadn't expected a response, but he got one.

"Inexperience of the defendant's counsel, sir," Bud said with a tilted head and a gleam in his eye, knowing that his words, a slam against Vukovic, would get a smile from Harm, and it did. Bud then pulled into a parking space next to the brig.

As Bud and Harm approached the building on foot, Harm was thinking about first impressions. The first meeting with your client, to both you and your client, is often the most important meeting you have with them.

For the lawyer, the first meeting clues you in to not only their side of the story, but it gives you insight into the true personality of the person. Experience at meeting clients teaches you the signs. If you not only listen to the words a client says, but observe the demeanor with which they're delivered, you often get several key facts about your client in the process, such as your client's level of honesty or believability. Your client could be innocent of the current charges, but guilty of some other infraction that he wasn't charged with that would taint the level of honesty that you perceive in them. It wouldn't change your vigorous defense of them, but it might lead you to tell your client that it wasn't in his or her best interest to take the stand in their own defense, for example. So, beginning with the first meeting, you're forming a defense strategy.

First interviews can be tricky though. You have to balance wanting to know your client's story with wanting to know your client, but his or her first impression of you could preclude that. Your client knows that they're in trouble. Some know that they've been caught and are looking to you to get them out of it, but some are innocent and scared. As much as you need to hear their story and figure them out, they don't get to hear a 'story' from you. What and how you ask them questions or allow them to tell their story is their only opportunity to get a 'feel' for your competence, confidence, sincerity and commitment to their case. Feeling that their counsel lacks any of those hinders your client's belief that they can be honest with you, that you're really there to help them, so they hold back, jeopardizing their own chances in the process.

Harm and Bud were expected and were shown the way to a room where their client was waiting to talk to them.

Lt. Stanton sat in the interview room, waiting for his new counsel to arrive. He hadn't cared much for the last guy they'd sent, even before his case had been sent to trial. However, he wasn't feeling good about meeting his new attorneys either. When he'd been taken from his cell a few minutes ago, he'd been told that he now had two lawyers, and Eric's first thought was, 'Great, one can't handle the job, so they have to work as a pair. I'm going to be executed!'

The door to the interview room opened, and a tall man in uniform entered the room with a level of confidence that Eric didn't see as arrogance like he had with his last one. As the lieutenant came to his feet, a shorter man entered the room.

"As you were, Lieutenant. I'm Captain Rabb. This is Lt. Commander Roberts. We've been assigned to take over your case."

Eric sank into his seat. Harm took a seat and so did Bud, each pulling out a legal pad to jot down anything that came to mind while they were speaking to their client.

With paper and pen at the ready, Harm asked, "Are you ready to begin, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then, let's begin. Did you know the victim?" Harm asked.

"No, sir...yes, sir."

"Which is it, yes or no?"

"I met her that night at the club. I hadn't been dating her, so I didn't _know_ her, sir."

"Would that be the Wild Waves Club?" Bud asked, knowing that the answer was probably the Tango Club, but wanting to verify that they hadn't met at one place and moved to the other.

"No, sir, the Tango Club."

"Why did you wear your uniform to the Tango Club?" Harm asked.

"Sir, the other lawyer said that I didn't need to worry about the lesser charges of conduct unbecoming and..." Lt. Stanton began, but was cut off by one of his attorneys.

"Lieutenant, we're here to defend you against all charges and we're going to ask you all kinds of questions about things you may or may not consider relevant, but when we ask them, we have a reason, so please just answer them. Your trial date puts us on a tight schedule, and we need to be ready," Harm informed him.

Eric lowered his head and looked away from the intense gaze of his superior officers and counsel. "Some of the guys asked me if I wanted to go out with them...you know, a last weekend in town kind of thing. The ship was leaving port on Monday for a four-week pre-deployment readiness drill."

"That Monday would've been the twelfth of December, correct?" Bud asked while writing on his notepad.

"Yes, sir," Stanton replied.

"Go ahead with your story, Lieutenant. Why were you in uniform?" Harm asked.

"Yes, sir. One of the long-timers said that we should go in uniform, that one of the oldest tricks in a sailor's book is to use his uniform to get a girl's attention and then, after a couple of drinks, tell her that he's leaving. He said that girls really can't resist sending you off without a memory. You know what he meant, right, sirs?"

Harm smiled. "Yeah, I think I remember a time or two when my dress whites came in handy for getting a woman's attention." Harm didn't take the thought any farther, though a fond memory of a weekend with Maria Elena flitted through his mind.

Bud asked the next question. "When did Miss Rodgers tell you that she was in the Navy?"

"She didn't, sir. We were dancing and having such a good time. I wasn't thinking about getting lucky anymore. I liked her and I wanted her number, but she said that she traveled for her job and that she didn't want to start something with someone who was leaving. I walked her to her car. We stood by her car and just talked for a little while. I tried to give her a napkin from inside that I'd scribbled my name and email address down on. I told her that I'd love to hear from her while I was away and, if she got to know me, maybe she'd change her mind and, when I got back, we could go out on a date. She smiled and said that she was flattered, but she didn't think that it would work out. She opened her purse and took out her car keys, but before she could close her purse, I pushed the napkin into it and asked her to at least reconsider dropping me a line because, when you're single, it can get lonely out at sea. She laughed and said that she was sure it does, and then she kissed me. Sir, I've kissed and I've been kissed, but never the way that she kissed me that night. I don't know exactly how I let it happen, sir. I know that I headed out that night to get lucky, but I liked her, and I was wishing that I'd met her sooner and that we'd had time to go out a few times before my deployment, but after that kiss...it just got me started, sir, and we... She opened the car door and said, 'Let's make sure you have a memory to take with you,' so I got in the car."

"So the two of you had intercourse in her car and that's why your fingerprints were in there?" Harm asked to verify that he'd understood his client.

"Yes, sir."

Bud saw Harm making a note, so he asked, "After you had sex, what happened?"

"I felt bad. I mean, I liked her a lot and I figured that I'd screwed up any chances of getting her to go out with me by having sex with her right then and there, so I asked her if I could buy her a cup of coffee or a late night snack at a diner that I knew of a couple of blocks away so we could talk. She said that she needed to get home. She was in town to visit her father, but her friends had called and asked her to go out with them. She'd told her dad that she wouldn't stay out too late so she wouldn't be too tired and they could do something together the next day. I asked her to please keep in touch...that I wanted to see her again. I waited for her to get into the driver's seat and drive off before I left."

"What time was that?" Harm asked.

"I'm not sure, but it had to be between 0130 and 0200."

"After that, did you go to the Wild Waves Club?" Bud asked.

"No, sir."

"Where did you go?" Bud asked.

"I went to the diner that I'd mentioned to get something to eat and to think about what had happened. I couldn't believe that I'd given up what could be the girl of my dreams, the love of my life, for sex." At different times during the interview, Eric had noticed that both men wore wedding rings. "You're both married. Can you imagine doing what I did when you met them? Do you think that they would've married you if you'd had sex with them before you'd even dated, even if having sex was their idea?"

Harm and Bud ignored his rhetorical questions, and their questioning continued until they were both satisfied that they had someplace to start. Harm and Bud stood, preparing to leave, when Harm asked Eric if he had any questions for them. The question that he asked stunned his counsel.

"Yes, sirs, I have a question. Will you be representing me if I get charged with the other murders?"

Both men stared at Eric Stanton and dropped back into their seats. "What other murders?" they asked simultaneously. Harm suddenly understood the reason why the Virginia police had wanted to question him before turning him over for military prosecution.

Eric told them that the police had questioned him about four murders, Tina's and three women who were strippers. Eric asked if they thought that he'd be charged with their murders as well.

Harm and Bud listened to Eric tell his story about being arrested by the Virginia police and the questions that they'd asked him about all four murders.

Harm and Bud weren't sure what their next move in his case would be, but they didn't let their doubts show when they told their client that they had other people to interview and materials to gather before they spoke to him again.

Harm and Bud were silent until they were out of the building and walking back to the car.

"Bud, we need the police and forensics reports, autopsies and whatever else we can get our hands on regarding the other three murders. I want to know what the similarities are regarding those murders, because I have a sinking feeling that Lt. Stanton is on trial for one murder, but that we're defending him against four murder charges."

"Yes, sir." Bud looked at his watch. "I'll get on it first thing in the morning, sir."

Since it was past dinnertime when the duo left the brig, an evening meal was now the top priority.

After securing a meal, it was time for time-zone-jumping Harm to get settled into his quarters for the night. He'd think better in the morning.

Mac had informed Harm that she'd be in Washington next week to meet with several people regarding the first quarter of the JLS office. He hadn't thought much about the fact that she'd be in Washington until he'd found out that he'd be coming here as well, but what had surprised Harm was that Harriet had said that Mac would be arriving this weekend. Surely, they'd be able to see each other and spend some time together before she returned to California, even if they were both working.

Before either man turned in for the night, they called their wives.

Bud called to say good night to Harriet, a woman whom he seldom slept without. After ending his call, he read over the case one more time before calling it a night and getting some rest. Harm was counting on him, so he needed to be rested and ready in the morning.

Harm's conversation with Mac was longer than Bud's had been to Harriet. Harm explained about where he was and that he hoped that he'd get to see her while they were both in the same general area.

Harm was excited to learn that, though Mac had made her flight arrangements without the knowledge that he was going to be in town, she'd planned to use the Martin Luther King holiday weekend to visit a few people, so she was scheduled to arrive on Saturday. Harm asked if he could pick her up from the airport, but Mac said that she'd made arrangements to rent a car and meet Harriet for lunch. She also said that, though she knew that he'd probably be working hard to prepare for the trial, she wanted them to have dinner together at the apartment on Saturday night if he could manage to squeeze it into his schedule.

Mac's voice became serious. "I'm glad you're going to be in town. I have something to talk to you about, and I really think that it would be better if we talked about it in person."

Harm was a little concerned about the topic of the conversation and tried to coax at least the subject out of her. "Since Christmas, you've said that you and Mattie are talking and doing much better. Was that the whole truth or has that changed?"

"Harm, things between Mattie and me are much better, but there is something that we've been discussing, and I want to talk to you about it. Checking on it is one of the things that I've got planned for this weekend. I know that you're curious, but we're fine, and I really want to talk to you in person about it now that I know that you're going to be in DC, so let it go until Saturday. Please?"

"As long as you and Mattie are okay and you and I are okay, then I'll wait until Saturday."

"Thank you. I love you," Mac said, grateful that Harm had relented.

Harm was never going to get tired of hearing her say those words and responded in kind, "I love you, too."

After the 'I love yous' had been said, it was time to say their goodbyes and end their call.

After the call, Harm was tired from his travels and called it a night.

It had been a really long day, and after a good night's sleep, maybe the answer to this case would jump off the page at him.


	54. Chapter 54

**PART 2 – A Reunited Team Goes to Work**

**FRIDAY, JANUARY 13, 2006**

Bud was up early and on the job. Using his laptop, he scanned through articles about all four of the murders that had been posted on the local newspaper's website. The information in the articles was vague, but it did give him the dates of the other murders, and a couple of the articles contained the victim's names.

Bud made some phone calls, and now it was time to bring Harm up to speed on what he'd accomplished this morning.

In his room, Harm had risen early, too. He'd read through his notes from yesterday at least twice before taking the time to get dressed.

He'd just settled back into a chair to read the reports on the murder of Ensign Tina Rodgers for at least the fifth time this morning when Bud knocked on his door.

"Morning, Bud," Harm said as he pulled the door open fully to let Bud enter.

"Good morning, sir," Bud said, offering Harm a small stack of papers. "Those are copies of the articles on all four murders that ran in the local paper. I was able to pull them up from their website, but I had to go to the local JAG office to print them. While I was there, I made arrangements for a couple of desks for us to use while we're here over the course of this case. I was also able to get hold of Mrs. Weathers. We can speak to her this morning at 1000. I haven't had much success in getting the records of the other three murders yet, but I did get the names of the detectives working the case, so if we can't get the records, we can speak to them."

"Anything else, Bud?"

"I figured that it was too early to call anyone who worked at the Wild Waves Club, but since it's Friday, the same day of the week that the ensign's body was found, I thought we'd want to go to the Wild Waves Club this evening to interview witnesses."

"A very thorough job as usual, Bud, but I think you've taken it to a new level this time."

Bud was smiling with pride at the compliment by his mentor, but his expression was about to change.

"I mean, you've managed to include a visit to a strip club that we can tell our wives about because we have to interview witnesses," Harm said with his flyboy grin in place.

Bud got an odd look on his face, and a slight blush appeared on his cheeks.

"What is it, Bud?" Harm asked.

"Hearing you say wives, sir, as in you and me both having one...it sounds odd, sir."

"You didn't think that I'd stay single forever, did you?" Harm asked.

"No, sir -" Bud stopped abruptly, keeping the thoughts that he was thinking from spilling out: 'But I'd given up that you'd ever act on your feelings for Colonel MacKenzie after Australia' or 'I hadn't expected you to stay single, but I didn't think that I'd ever witness it.'

Harm just grinned and shook his head. He knew that Bud hadn't finished his thought, but, from the delay, it was either something that he couldn't explain or didn't want to say, so Harm let him off the hook by asking, "Have you had breakfast, Bud?"

"No, sir."

"Then let me grab my briefcase, and I'll buy you breakfast before we go to see Mrs. Weathers."

"Thank you, sir."

Over breakfast, the two men reviewed the newspaper articles and discussed how the police had located Mrs. Weathers.

Two days after Tina's body had been discovered, the news media had gotten hold of the story. The police, still not wanting to have the word spread that there was likely a serial killer on the loose, didn't even hint at the idea during the story that aired. The police opted for keeping this murder, at least as far as the public was concerned, unrelated to the other three. At the end of the story airing that night on the evening news, the police had asked the public for help in solving Ensign Tina Rodgers murder by requesting that anyone who'd seen her or her car that night call a special tip hotline. A call from Mary Weathers to the hotline, generally describing the man who police believed to be their prime suspect, helped support their theory, but when Mrs. Weathers had said that the man whom she'd seen had had on a uniform, it had served to confirm their hunch that the sailor last seen with Tina was her killer and probably the killer of the other three victims as well.

After breakfast, the two men made a stop at the police station to see if they'd have any luck in getting reports on the other three murders.

The police weren't forthcoming with the reports. Harm and Bud were told that, since it was an ongoing investigation, they'd have to get the district attorney's office to release the information to them.

Finally, they got the name of someone at the DA's office to contact, and they left the police station to meet with Mrs. Weathers.

Harm made a call to the DA's office while Bud drove to Mrs. Weathers' home. The man whom they'd been told to contact was in court, and Harm ended up leaving a message.

Mary Weathers was a wonderful woman in her late fifties with a delightful personality. Her voice was like that of the loving grandmother stereotype, and those characteristics would make for a credible and convincing witness for the prosecution.

Mrs. Weathers repeated the statement she'd given to the police for the two handsome men in her living room.

"I was returning from seeing my daughter and new grandchild in Virginia Beach. I'd left Virginia Beach later than I'd meant to, so I was on the road much later than usual, but I'm very familiar with the roads between here and her home in Portsmouth because I've been traveling them regularly since my daughter moved to Virginia Beach almost two years ago. In addition, over the last three months, as my daughter's due date drew closer, I've been making weekly visits to her home. I saw the car in the alley when I had to stop at the light on the corner there, and I saw a man in uniform coming out of that alley on foot. I assumed that the car had belonged to the man and he'd run out of gas or something and hadn't given it much thought until I heard the news story requesting that anyone who'd seen the car or anyone near the car that night to call the hotline."

Mrs. Weathers' description of the person whom she'd seen leaving the alley was a male, about six feet tall and weighing about 180 pounds.

"Can you give us any more of a description? Hair color, skin color, facial hair, anything at that might help to identify this person?" Harm inquired.

"No, it was dark, and he was too far away. He wasn't looking directly at me, but, from the glow of the streetlight, I could tell that he was wearing a uniform, but that's as much as I can be sure of."

Before offering their thanks for meeting with them, Harm asked one last question. "Could the man you saw have been just passing the alley or are you sure that he was coming out of the alley?"

Mrs. Weathers said that she was sure that the man was walking towards her, making him leaving the alley, not passing it.

After leaving Mrs. Weathers home, they needed to have a place to work, and Harm was glad that Bud had secured them a corner in the local JAG office, and that's were they were headed next.

Harm and Bud discussed Mrs. Weathers' statement on the way to the office and agreed on what points worked for the defense. Mrs. Weathers hadn't seen the murder itself. She hadn't seen the victim and the man together. She hadn't seen the man's face, so she couldn't positively identify the man she saw, which was a big one, since, on a Friday night near a base, there was a high probability that there'd been more than one sailor in the vicinity that night around the time of the murder who fit the general description that she'd given to police.

Once at the local JAG office, Harm and Bud made their way to the desks that had been assigned to them and went to work.

Harm made another call to the DA's office and left another message. With desks that faced each other, it was easy for them to spread out their own notes and documents to review, but to confer easily with each other.

Both men focused on the contents of the newspaper articles first. From the articles, the only information that they could gather was that all four women were between the ages twenty-two and twenty-seven, all of the bodies had been found in the same part of town and all of them were brunettes.

The article on the victim before Tina, Janice Walker, had a glaring line that said, 'three weeks and three dead strippers, does our city have a serial killer?' The article that ran the day after Tina's murder had a headline that read 'the fourth woman in four weeks found dead.' An article written the following day said that 'police were following up on leads concerning the murder of Ensign Tina Rodgers.' There was no mention of the possibility of a serial killer having committed the ensign's murder in that second article.

The two men had been reading over the articles and checking notes for a couple of hours before Harm placed another call to the DA's office.

Bud watched Harm's face as the one side of the conversation that he could hear indicated that they weren't any closer to getting anything on the other murders.

After Harm hung up the receiver, Bud asked the obvious. "Nothing on the other murders yet, sir?"

"No, Bud, they say that he's still in court."

"Sir, what if we take a break for lunch and pay a little visit to the DA's office while we're out? It'll be much harder for them to lie to our faces."

"Excellent idea, Bud. The trial is slated to start on Tuesday, and I want to see everything that they've got before then because I have the feeling that the answer to this case is in the other murders." Harm stood. "Let's go, Bud, but we'll stop at the DA's office before going to lunch. With Monday being a holiday, I don't want to wait too late in the day to put a fire under them."

"Yes, sir," Bud said as he stood to follow Harm.

At the DA's office, the arrogant attorney who'd been dodging Harm's phone calls had to face Harm. Bud watched as Harm stood up straight in front of the man's desk and looked down at the DA. The man made the mistake of thinking that Harm wasn't as tall as he looked from his sitting position and stood to show his lack of intimidation. However, when the man stood, Harm was a good six inches taller than him, and Harm didn't even blink at the man's attempt to balance the power in the room. It took Harm only fifteen minutes after the 'stand off' to get the man to consent to having the files ready for them to pick up in an hour.

They left the DA's office to get some lunch while waiting for the reports to be ready.

After eating lunch, they returned to the DA's office to pick up the reports, which weren't ready when they arrived, so they decided that waiting was the only way to handle the situation. It took another forty minutes before they left with the reports in hand.

After leaving the DA's office, they returned to their borrowed office space where they were able to make contact with the friends with whom Tina had been out the night that she'd been killed and arranged to meet two of them in the morning, thirty minutes apart at the diner where their client had said that he'd gone to clear his head the night of the murder. The third woman agreed to meet them at her office at 1100 tomorrow.

It was late afternoon, and Harm and Bud's eyes were strained from reading the files on the other murders. It was time to take a break. After looking at his watch, Harm decided that it was a good time to head to the Wild Waves Club.

There were advantages to going to the club early. There wouldn't be a crowd, and they'd be more likely to be able to speak with the owner and the others who worked at the bar. Also, while it was still daylight, they wanted to see the alley where the body had been found.

The first person they talked to was the bartender, Mark. Mark Waverly was the owner's best friend. They'd met while on liberty in the Philippines, going on twenty years ago. They'd both been young seamen who'd spent day and night checking out every bar they could before heading back to their ships. Three years later, they'd met again when their duty stations had put them on the same ship. They'd been friends ever since. Mark had seen the love-struck Ken through his trials of getting his Filipino wife into the United States. Mark had been Ken's sole support during his wife's struggle with cancer. When the cancer had taken Ken's wife five years ago, Mark had thought that Ken would sink too low to ever come out of it, but after a couple of months, Ken had come to him with this plan to open a fine gentlemen's club. Mark had been twice married and twice divorced. He loved both wives, but he liked women too much and just couldn't be faithful. Mark was five years younger than Ken, but even for a man over fifty, he could still attract a woman with his distinguished good looks and sense of humor. He didn't have the drive he once had, but he loved to flirt, and the dancers would flirt back, keeping him feeling young.

After speaking with Mark, the next one they were able to speak with was Ken.

Ken Rowan was the club's owner and a retired Navy man who'd been in more than a few strip clubs. He knew firsthand that most clubs, well, at least those overseas, cheated their girls. When his wife had died five years ago, he and his best friend had opened a club where the liquor wasn't watered down and the ladies were treated fairly. Some of his ladies were girls really, compared to his age, college students earning their way through school, and he wanted all of them to be safe. He'd opened the club as a nice place for sailors from the nearby base to relax and enjoy a show, but he wanted the girls to feel safe, and he treated them well. Concerned after the first murder, but not believing that it was anything more than a one-time incident, Ken watched cautiously from the door when any of the girls performing at his club left. However, after the second murder, Ken was the only club owner in the area to add security people and implement the policy that all the ladies performing at his club were to be walked to their cars by either himself, Mark or by a member of the security team. Ken and Mark were fixtures at the club. One of them was there every night. Three days a week, two of which were Friday and Saturday, they closed up shop together.

After speaking to Ken, they asked to speak to Ben or Kim. They were told that Ben didn't report to work for an hour, but that they could expect him in about ten minutes when he brought Kim to work.

Harm and Bud were at a table, waiting for the two young people to arrive. They watched one and then a second young woman strip to old disco music before a blonde took the stage, dancing to a Motown song.

Harm and Bud were married, not dead, and the sight of a disrobing, young, attractive, blonde woman had their attention, and they were enjoying the show. She'd just removed her top, exposing her large breasts covered with tiny triangles of material when a young man approached the table, holding hands with a young woman, and announced that they were Ben and Kim.

Kim Whatley had been inside the bar, waiting for Ben to finish work the night the body had been found. She and Ben always came in together on Friday nights, and she'd been waiting around the club for him to drive her home. Kim said that she wasn't aware of anything unusual going on until she saw Ben's pale face when he came inside to get the flashlight. When she'd asked what was wrong? He'd said, "I think she's dead," before turning to take the flashlight to Mark in the alley.

Harm and Bud listened to her statement, but couldn't think of anything to ask her, so they let her go get ready to perform.

Ben Richards was a twenty-two-year-old college senior. His schooling was being paid for by a full scholarship, thanks to his prowess on the football field, but he worked weekends as a bouncer for spending money. Ben had applied for a job at this particular establishment because his girlfriend, Kim Whatley, a fellow college student, danced at the Wild Waves on Thursday through Sunday nights to earn the money for her education.

Harm and Bud got a repeat of what they'd read in Ben's statement, but as they listened to Ben say that he was a bouncer, something struck Harm as odd. Ben had said that he was a bouncer, but, at the door, Harm had seen a guy with SECURITY written across the front and back of his tee shirt.

The memory of the security guy at the door had Harm asking Ben, "If you're working tonight, where's your security shirt?"

Ben explained, "I'm not security. I'm a bouncer, so I don't wear one."

That statement confused Harm and Bud, but Bud beat Harm to the question. "What's the difference?"

"Before the killings, we had only bouncers, employees of the club who kept an eye on things. The security guys are employed by a security company that Ken hired after the second killing to monitor ID checks at the door and keep an eye on things outside the club. The inside guy usually wears a tee shirt, indicating that he's security. The outside guy, who comes on later, usually wears the traditional-looking guard's outfit with a badge. The bouncers on staff are assigned to sit at tables and at the bar. You know, mingle among the customers and watch out for the girls. If a guy gets too friendly with a girl, the bouncer sends a message through the waitress, and security handles getting the customer out of here so we don't have to leave our post and we don't blow the fact that we're in the crowd. Ken says that, until they're sure that they've gotten the stripper killer, that's the way things will be done here."

After talking with Ben, Harm and Bud left the club. They strolled up a few blocks to verify that the distance between the Tango Club and the Wild Waves Club was only five blocks. They also found that Ensign Rodgers would have turned right towards the Wild Waves Club, while Lieutenant Stanton would have followed the sidewalk to the left to get to the diner. From the Tango Club, they took the walk that their client said that he'd made around the block to the diner.

Bud got one whiff of the homemade pie coming out of the diner and had to have a slice. Ordering was a good way to hang around for a few minutes and ask some questions of the staff about the night that Tina was killed. So they ordered pie and decaf coffee, and asked a few questions before heading back to pick up the car at the Wild Waves Club.

After getting into the car, they drove passed the alley, making sure that they were traveling in the same direction that Mrs. Weathers would have been. They also made sure to stop at the light as Mrs. Weathers had said she'd done. Though it was much earlier than when she'd said she'd driven past, they were sure that it hadn't been lighter outside than it was now, so they felt that the time of day wouldn't impact their observations if they checked things out now.

Harm got out of the car and had Bud circle the block. Harm waited until he saw Bud's car coming towards the stoplight. He walked back into the alley at approximately the spot where the body had been and then walked out and around the front of the building the way Mrs. Weathers had said the man had done that night. The conclusion of their little experiment was that Mrs. Weathers was telling a plausible story, and that meant that they'd have to look for something else to prove that their client was innocent.

Not having come up with even a theory to build on from there, it was time to report to their quarters and get some rest.

Although they had interviews with Tina's friends in the morning, both men wanted to wrap up this visit to Norfolk and get back to Washington at a reasonable hour tomorrow to spend time with their wives.


	55. Chapter 55

**PART 3 – Interviews and Reunions **

**SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2006**

The level of activity in the diner on a Saturday morning, combined with at least a dozen other men in uniform who were eating breakfast, brought back the conversation that they'd had here last night.

******FLASHBACK******

Harm and Bud had come by to verify the diner's location and to question anyone who might have been there early that Saturday morning when their client had gone there after Tina had left, if he had indeed told the truth.

A few of the waitresses said that they'd talked to police and they wouldn't say anything else, but a thirty-something waitress with a nametag that said 'Milly' hadn't been able to take her eyes off of Harm, and she was willing to talk to them.

Bud speculated that her cooperation had more to do with her wanting to make an impression on Harm rather than wanting to be a good citizen, since she was practically drooling as she spoke to them.

Milly said, "The police came by a few days before I heard on the radio that they'd arrested a sailor for the murder. They had a picture and asked us if we'd seen him in here. We all told the detectives that we get uniformed men and women in here all the time and we didn't remember him being here, but we didn't remember him not being here either. Late Friday night to around 3:00 or 4:00 o'clock Saturday morning is always busy for us. Drunks come in looking for coffee and a warm place to sober up after the bars close."

Harm was doing a good job of just being Harm, so it was up to Bud to ask the questions and let Harm's good looks keep her cooperative. "Since you see a lot of uniformed personnel, you'd probably notice someone whose uniform was torn or had a button missing or was splattered with something. Do you remember seeing anyone that night whose uniform had any of those things?" Bud asked.

"No, nothing like that...I'm sorry, but it was just a regular Friday night for us. I'm sorry that woman is dead and I wish that I could help you, but for us, there was nothing unusual about that night."

She was still staring at Harm when Bud thanked Milly for talking to them.

After they'd left the diner, they'd headed back to the Wild Waves to get the car.

********END FLASHBACK********

Harm and Bud had finished breakfast and were drinking coffee and reviewing their notes on what they wanted to ask each of the women with whom they were going to speak today, when the first of the two who they were going to interview arrived.

Shelia said that she, Tina and the other two women who'd gone out the night that Tina had been killed had all attended college together. However, she hadn't been particularly close to Tina. She explained that, though the four of them got together whenever they could and, thanks to email, stayed in touch, the other three women in the group had been friends since their freshman year, but she hadn't joined the group until their junior year. Tammy - the woman whom Harm and Bud were going to interview at her office later today - was Tina's best friend, according to Shelia.

Shelia also told them that Eric Stanton had approached their table that night and introduced himself just before he'd asked if any of them wanted to dance. They'd all talked to him for a few minutes while they were waiting to see which one of them would 'pick' him. After a few minutes, it was Tina who'd said that she'd dance with him, so that was a cue to the rest of them to keep looking - he was hers. If she'd come back to the table and said that she was through dancing with him, then someone else would be free to take a shot at him. That's the way they did things, Shelia said before saying that Tina hadn't come back to the table until around 1:00 and, when she had, she'd told the rest of the group that she was going to give the shipping-out-sailor a memory to take with him. As Tina had turned to walk towards the door where the sailor was waiting, Tammy had walked with her for a few steps while they'd exchanged a few words, and then Tina and the sailor had left.

After thanking Shelia for meeting with them, she was on her way.

There wasn't anything in Shelia's statement to give them anything to discuss while they waited for their next appointment. They did use the time to decide if it was going to be necessary to interview Tina's father, Bradford Rodgers, so they reviewed the statement that Mr. Rodgers had given the police.

Bradford Rodgers was the registered owner of the car that Tina had been driving that night, and that was what had led the police to seek him out for questioning. The police interview had ended up giving them the victim's ID, his daughter, Tina.

Tina's college graduation picture from Old Dominion two years prior confirmed the identity of the body that the detectives had seen earlier with her throat cut. Her father had told police that, after Tina had graduated, she'd felt an obligation to serve her country and had chosen the Navy as her branch of service. She'd been home on leave for several days and had asked to borrow his car that night to go meet some girlfriends from college.

Tina's father had been the one who'd supplied the names of the friends who Tina was to meet that night, and with whom Harm and Bud were meeting this morning.

Having gone over the information that Mr. Rodgers had given the police, and because of the emotional state that he was probably in because of the death of his daughter, Harm and Bud agreed that they didn't see a reason for them to interview him, at least at this time.

Melinda was the next person who they were going to interview, and she arrived five minutes late. Her story was much the same as Shelia's, but she added that she thought that Eric was a good dancer and that she'd wished that Tina had decided against him and thrown him back into the pond for someone else to hook.

The two naval lawyers found Tina's friend, Melinda, to be a little strange, but there was no law against that. Having spoken to both women with whom they were scheduled to meet here, they paid their breakfast tab and left the waitress a healthy tip for taking up the booth for so long.

They had a little time before interviewing the third woman, but that gave them time to find the office building where they were to interview Tammy. She'd asked that they meet her at her office. She was a graphic designer and was on a deadline, so it was more convenient for her. Tammy, according to both of the other ladies, had been closer to Tina, so the two of them might have spoken about Eric at some point of which the other two were unaware.

Tammy's statement didn't veer much from the others, but she seemed to be able to add a few more personal details. For example, she said that she could tell in the few minutes that Eric was standing at their table and they were all talking that Tina was 'really into him.' She didn't know why, but Tina seemed to fall for him right in front of their eyes, and that just wasn't like Tina. Tammy said that, after Tina had come over to announce that she was leaving with the guy, she'd walked a few steps with Tina and asked her why, when she saw sailors everyday, she wanted this one. Her answer had been: 'He's different. He's special.'

Tammy continued, "I don't believe in that 'love at first sight' business, but the look in her eyes...I think she fell for him. Kind of ruins love, doesn't it? I mean, falling in love with the guy who kills you?"

Bud asked, "You said that Eric spoke to all of you for a few minutes. Did you get the impression that he was dangerous or did Tina say anything to give you any idea that she felt threatened by him?"

"No, but if he didn't do it, the police wouldn't have arrested him, right?"

Harm and Bud breathed a little easier, knowing that she didn't know anything that they didn't. She was just speculating based on the news reports that she'd seen.

A portion of a conversation from yesterday between he and Harm caused Bud to ask, "Do you remember seeing any other men in the club that night who were in uniform?"

"I don't remember any, but that doesn't mean that they weren't there. Sailors aren't my type ... no offense," Tammy answered.

"None taken, ma'am," Bud replied before Harm thanked Tammy for her time and asked her if they could call her if they had any more questions.

A brief discussion in the car outside of Tammy's office resulted in a change of plans. A trip to the brig was now next.

Eric had said that some of his buddies had asked him to go out. Bud and Harm wanted to know if Eric Stanton was the only one who'd taken the seasoned sailor's advice and gone out in uniform.

They weren't expected at the brig, so it took a few minutes for a guard to bring Eric to the interview room. Eric said that he and two others had left the ship in uniform. The other two had opted for civilian attire. Harm then asked Eric if the five of them had stayed together at one club or if they'd split up. Eric said that they'd all ridden into town together and had all gone into the Tango Club. He couldn't remember which one of the others had said it, but around 2200, one of them had said something about there being 'no action' at the Tango Club. He'd said that there were enough strip clubs within walking distance that he'd be able to see every type of woman there was to be seen before he got back on the ship. Eric said that he and Lieutenant Williams had stayed at the Tango Club, but that the other three had left, he assumed to check out the strip clubs down the block. Eric said that he'd gone onto the dance floor to tell Sean...Lieutenant Williams... that he was leaving with Tina. Harm then asked, "Was Lieutenant Williams in uniform that night?"

Harm and Bud left the brig with the knowledge that at least two other sailors in the area were out that night in uniform and with the names of the other four sailors who'd been out with Stanton that night in hand.

Today wasn't going as they'd planned. They'd hoped to have things wrapped up before lunchtime and head back to DC, but after searching the files to be certain that they hadn't overlooked statements from the other sailors, they were on their way to the pier in Norfolk to see if any of the sailors were on board so they could have a little chat.

Two of the remaining four sailors were on board. One was on duty, and Lieutenant Williams was in his quarters. The other two didn't live aboard ship and neither had duty, so they weren't scheduled to be back aboard until Tuesday because of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday on Monday. Harm and Bud talked to the two sailors on board, and Bud got contact information for the other two. A call to one of the residences resulted in talking to an answering machine. A call to the other sailor's house got a wife who informed them that he and the other officer for whom they were looking were on a camping trip and wouldn't be back until Monday night. She gave them a cell phone number, but said that it often didn't work in the remote area where they camped, so she'd be surprised if they got through.

Once they were on the road back to Washington, Harm dialed the cell number that the officer's wife had given him and left a message for them to call him ASAP.

After leaving the message, Harm looked at his watch. They wouldn't be back in Washington before 1600 at best. To save Bud a few minutes by not having to drive into the city to drop him off and then back out to his home, Harm asked Bud if he'd mind dropping him off somewhere else.

On the way to their stop, they discussed the case and their client. Both believed that their client was telling the truth, but believing it and proving it were two very different things.

Neither of them thought that either of the sailor's to whom they'd spoken today was the killer, either. However, there were two sailors to whom they hadn't spoken and at least one of them had been in the Wild Waves Club that night...and in uniform. It certainly didn't make either of them the killer, but it sure gave the defense possibilities to work with.

When Bud reached the outskirts of town, Harm gave him directions to their stop.

As Bud pulled into the storage unit lot, Harm's heart skipped a beat from just the thought of being reunited with his classic car.

Because the car had been stored for more than just a few weeks, there was no way that Bud was leaving until Harm had made sure that the car would run.

Bud watched as Harm carefully pulled the protective cover off the car and gave it a once over. After giving the car a 'pre-flight check,' Harm was ready to start it up. The engine came to life on the first try, and the noise was music to Harm's ears. It was too bad that the weather outside was too cold to put the top down, Harm thought as the car idled. With the engine running, Harm scanned the ground for signs of any type of fluid leak. Satisfied that his car had survived its time in storage, he was ready to pull the car out of the unit.

Harm carefully backed the car out and pulled up alongside Bud's car to transfer his gear. Harm tucked his briefcase behind the passenger's seat before placing his sea bag in the passenger's seat while he let the engine continue to warm up.

Not hearing any strange noises, the load switched from Bud's car to his and another inspection for leaks revealing nothing, it was time to head to his apartment, and, hopefully, Mac would be there.

Harm pulled out onto the street, and Bud followed for several blocks until their destinations caused them to have to go in different directions.

Harm wasn't aware of the time passing or the hour that is was as he drove towards Union Station because his mind was very busy. It ran through scenarios of the murder that he'd been sent here to investigate and a wide range of ideas of why Mac wanted to talk to him, and last but not least, his mind analyzed the practicality of his car.

Almost before Harm realized that he was there, he pulled up in front of his building. Being behind the wheel of _his _car had made the trip seem like two minutes instead of thirty.

As he took his belongings out of the car, he again thought about how impractical his car was now that he and Mac were married and Mattie was with them. He'd save a lot of money by not having to pay storage fees, too. Maybe it was time to seriously consider getting rid of his costly and impractical "toys"...his car _and_ his plane.

Inside the building, he reached his floor and, as he slid back the gate to get off the elevator, he realized that his old apartment was yet another thing that he was holding onto that no longer had a purpose and that getting rid of it would save some money.

Harm's keys were in his hand as he approached the door, but he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. He pushed the door open with his foot.

Finding that her back was to him, he decided against dropping his bags or slamming the door as a means of announcing himself for fear that it would startle her. Instead, he gently put down his bags, turned and quietly closed the door, and then turned back around to watch her while he removed his winter coat.

Once he'd hung up his coat next to hers on the hooks by the door, it was time for him to say or do something to let her know that he was there.

She was holding the refrigerator door open with one hand and looking into it. She was checking her grocery list to make sure that she'd bought everything that she'd wanted at the store. She'd run through the same list after putting away a handful of cabinet items. She was looking over the items that she'd purchased from the produce department when she felt it. Only one person could cause that sensation in her. Harm was near, and then she heard his voice.

"I'm glad you're here," he said.

Mac turned and closed the refrigerator door in one motion. They rushed into each other's arms, and Harm picked her up and spun her around in a circle before lowering her enough that their lips could meet.

After a welcoming kiss, he let her feet touch the floor again.

"Hey, Sailor, I missed you, too," Mac said lovingly.

Harm couldn't bring himself to acknowledge how much he'd missed her when tomorrow would have made it only two weeks since he'd last seen her.

"What was so interesting about an empty refrigerator?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.

"It isn't empty anymore. I just got back from the store. Over lunch, Harriet told me that your case was in Norfolk, so I didn't know how much you'd be here. My plane leaves Thursday afternoon, so I bought a few drinks and some fruit for snacks, but not much else. After I left the grocery store, I stopped to pick up a take-out order from one of your favorite places, and I discovered a new reason to like the place myself today." Harm gave her a quizzical look. "They put take-out orders in aluminum pans with paper lids, which, once removed, makes for easy reheating. The other good thing about the aluminum pans is that you can eat out of them, too...and that's good, because we left some small appliances where we had duplicates, but we didn't leave any cookware or dishes except for those two coffee cups from our first morning together."

Harm didn't say anything. He just tightened his grip on her.

"Harm, are you okay?"

He gave her body a squeeze before easing his grip on her and pulling back to look her in the eye.

"I've been a little anxious lately. I guess I've just had a lot of things on my mind, but I'm good now."

"Anxious about moving your office from London to Naples in March?"

"No, not since my plan for the move and transition services were approved. When I left, everything was on track."

"Then what is it?"

"The case I'm on, seeing you and what you want to talk to me about, but we're here together now, and I'm feeling better already." He didn't mention his recent realization about his expensive toys. He'd leave that for another time.

Mac smiled. "It's a little early, but we could eat dinner or we could reheat it later." Her hands moved up the front of his chest, and her voice sounded suggestive as she continued, "We could see if we can ease some more of that anxiety of yours...as long as you promise that you won't think that it's the only thing that I've missed about you."

His voice was low and sexy when he responded, "I think you were reading my mind, but I thought we needed to talk."

"We do, but..." She leaned into him and placed her lips on his, administering a firm but caring kiss. "...we're newlyweds and we're alone, I think we should seize the moment. We can talk over dinner."

His lips covered hers, and he delivered a passionate kiss that left her wanting more.

Mac pulled away from him, took his hand and led him up to the bedroom, much like she'd done the first time they'd come together. It was hard for her to believe that, in a few weeks, that first time would be a whole year ago.

Once upstairs, it wasn't like the first time, but like the last time they'd been together, no uncertainty or hesitation. They kissed and touched as they worked at removing each other's clothing until, stripped of all garments, they came together in a fury of passion and want that culminated in a physical release that left them each satisfied and breathless.

They stayed wrapped up in each other after lovemaking, not able to talk or move for several minutes.

Mac didn't want to break the mood, but with both of them here in Washington to work, they didn't have a lot of time for just lying around. She couldn't see his face with her head on his chest, but to her, it seemed as if his breathing had more than evened out from the passionate pants of a few minutes ago. She lifted her head and found that his eyes were closed. After whispering his name a few times, she moved her body and got no response. He was asleep. No doubt his internal clock was still on London time where it was five hours later than it was here. He'd admitted to feeling anxious and, for him to admit that, he must be really anxious but repressing most of it, which had probably resulted in at least a couple of sleepless nights. She found that she wasn't upset that he'd fallen asleep. In fact, she was happy that their loving each other had eased enough of his anxiety that he was able to fall asleep.

Mac stayed beside him, watching him sleep until her stomach growled. At which time, she got out of bed and retrieved a robe from her bag before moving into the kitchen to reheat dinner.

With only five minutes left before the main course was ready, she went to pull the container of salad out of the refrigerator.

"I get an F in husband 101 for falling asleep, don't I?" Harm said apologetically.

With her head in the refrigerator, she must not have heard him come down from the bedroom. Hearing his voice, Mac looked up to see Harm standing where his dining room table had once sat, wearing only the pants that she'd taken off of him earlier. She could see that his nap hadn't eased his weariness, and he looked like he was barely keeping his eyes open.

Mac smiled at him. "No you don't." She moved over to put her arms around him. "I'll bet you have a little case of jet lag, and with the extra exertion of making me a very happy Marine, you just needed to rest."

"You're happy?" Harm asked.

"Yes, now let's get some dinner in you. That'll help you feel better. We'll talk and we'll turn in early and, in the morning, you'll be feeling like your old self again."

"Did you have to blow it by saying old?" Harm said with an amused pout.

"Sorry, how about you'll get your super powers back?" Mac suggested with a grin.

"Better," Harm replied, grinning in return.

"Well, dinner's ready. No plates, so grab a plastic fork, and we'll share out of the containers," she said, relinquishing her hold on him and moving back into the kitchen.

Mac set the containers close to each other on the counter, and Harm got each of them a fork. They sat next to each other on the stools at the counter and took a few bites from each container before either one of them spoke.

"Harm, earlier, you said that you had a lot of things on your mind. Is there anything that I can do to help?"

"You can ease my mind about one thing by telling me what you and Mattie have been discussing that you wanted to talk to me about."

Having her own command, she should've realized that Harm would be feeling the pressure of his position. It was hard to monitor that kind of thing from 5,489 miles away. However, it wasn't until he'd admitted to being anxious that it had really dawned on her that he was feeling the same kind of pressure that she was from being in a command position.

Realizing only this evening how much Harm had on his plate, she didn't know if she should bring this up now, but he needed to be clued in...and she really wanted to have this talk while they were together.

Mac decided to ease into the main topic that she wanted to discuss with him by refreshing his memory about things that they'd already discussed.

"I've told you that Mattie and I have been doing a lot of talking since Christmas. I'm not putting in as many hours as before, and we talk over dinner. When we got back, her report card had come in the mail while we were in London. As you know, her grades were one C and the rest B's. She was upset because she used to be an A student and, because of the C, she didn't think that she'd get her driver's permit. I told her that you and I had talked about it before Christmas and, as long as she passed, she could get her permit. I told her that we understood that some of her grades may have slipped because of the move and other changes in her life over which she had no control, but that she should be settled by now and that we expect her to improve. I also reminded her that, if she found herself struggling again, she was to say something so that we could help...get her a tutor or something. I also pointed out that the doctor could nix the license issue, grades aside, at her checkup. She went back to school without any arguments, but almost every conversation that we've had in the last two weeks seems to be about her permit or license."

Harm put his hand on her arm. "I know about this stuff from either her or your emails."

"I know, but I wanted you to know that I'm not sure that it's a big deal because it isn't something that she talks about a lot like her driver's license, but I want your input on how to handle it." Mac took a deep breath. "During all of these conversations about school, the license and the doctor, I don't know how we ended up on the subject, but we talked about Tyler...the little boy who you said that she sent a postcard to from London. She said that she was worried about him because he didn't have any family at Christmas. Well, I got Mrs. Potter's number, and we called to check on him."

"He was okay, right?" Harm asked.

"Yeah, but she wanted me to check on him while I was here and, as luck would have it, there's an open house tomorrow. That's why I made plans to come earlier than I needed to for my meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday." Mac wasn't sure what his reaction was going to be, so she stopped talking, trying to gauge what was on his mind by reading his expression.

"You came early to attend this open house, then?" Harm asked when Mac got quiet.

"Yes, I mean I didn't know that you were going to be here when I made my plans," Mac said before nervously forging ahead. "The way the open house was explained to me is that they have punch and cookies, and the children who're ready for adoption are brought together to meet with potential parents. Tyler will be there tomorrow, and with Mattie being so worried about him, I said that I'd attend because it was the easiest way for me to get to see him. I'm sure that he's fine, but he's on Mattie's mind a lot, so I was wondering if you had any suggestions about what I could say to her to ease her mind other than I saw him and that he's doing fine."

Thrown a curve ball by the topic of conversation, Harm responded by saying, "I have no idea right now. Maybe after a good night's sleep, I'll come up with something."

"Harriet wants us to come to dinner tomorrow night. Are you and Bud working tomorrow?"

"I'm sure if we're going to dinner there, we'll discuss the case at some point, but we don't have any interviews or anything tomorrow. Why?"

"I thought you might like to come to Blacksburg with me. Checking on Tyler shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Mattie asked if I'd see if her father was home while I was out that way, too. You could go by and check on your plane. We could make a day of it and then stop by Bud and Harriet's for dinner on the way home. What do you say? You look like you could use a little R&R. Are you up to spending the day with your wife?"

"Absolutely!" Harm said, not sure of the itinerary, but to spend time with his wife, he was willing to go anywhere.

Cleaning up after eating took only a minute or two because everything was disposable. So, after wiping down the counter, they moved to the bedroom where they cuddled together until sleep overtook them both.


	56. Chapter 56

**PART 4 – ****Boys Like Cars**

**SUNDAY, JANUARY 15, 2006**

Mac woke when her body missed contact with his. She opened her eyes to see if Harm was still in bed. He was...on his side, facing away from her and almost on the edge of the bed like he was trying to avoid touching her.

It bothered her that she couldn't remember trying to get close to him, or had she tried and she didn't remember him rolling away? Since they'd been a couple and able to sleep together in the same bed, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms and they'd awakened in contact with each other in some way, but not this morning.

Harm had looked tired when he'd walked in the door yesterday, but she'd quickly dismissed that as jet lag. It took his out-of-character admissions of feeling anxious and having a lot on his mind for her to understand that it wasn't just a few missed hours of sleep causing the worry lines on his handsome face.

Harm had also been irritable after his nap last evening, like a little boy who'd been awakened before getting the sleep that he'd needed.

Mac was still staring at his back when he rolled over and saw that she watching him.

"Trying to decide if you should wake the sleeping bear for breakfast or not?" His voice was calm and teasing, and his arms came around her in a tender embrace. "I owe you a big breakfast for being cranky after my nap yesterday."

"I'm kind of glad you were cranky."

"Why?"

"It made me feel like we're really married."

"We _are_ really married, so I don't think I understand."

"You weren't trying to make everything perfect. You remember Christmas. You focused on making things right between Mattie and me and us having a good Christmas. You didn't mention that the reason you couldn't take any leave was because you were putting the finishing touches on a plan to move the offices from London to Naples before the deadline. You didn't tell me until last week in an email, and then it was one line. 'My proposal has been accepted, so the move to Naples is on.' Prior to that, during a phone call in November, you said something about a rumor, which involved moving the operation to Naples, and that's all I'd heard about it. You could have told us that...told me that."

"You and Mattie had other things to think about and work out. There was nothing that you could do to help."

"I could've listened. If there was a particular area where you were having trouble, talking it out might have helped you see it from a different perspective. I could have been your sounding board. I could do that with this case or anything else that you have on your mind. Harm, you can...no...make that you _should_ talk to me about those kinds of things."

"So I fail marital communication 101, too," Harm said dejectedly.

"You aren't failing at anything. You just need to get used to having me in a new and improved way."

"Speaking of having you in a new way..." he said, his eyebrow arched and his eyes twinkling.

She put her hands up to block his attempt at a kiss. "If you promise to talk to me about things..."

"I promise to try," he replied seriously.

She placed her palms on his cheeks and pulled him closer. Against his lips, she whispered, "You're buying me breakfast afterward, too."

A chuckle escaped his lips before their lips connected in a kiss that was sweet and full of promise.

After making love, they took advantage of the large shower. Harm said that it was to save water. Mac said that it was to save time - she was starving and more than ready for breakfast.

In the shower, Harm asked what time they needed to be in Blacksburg. Mac said that she didn't have an appointment, but the open house was from 1130 to 1430, so they'd have to get there within that window.

They opted to take Harm's 'Vette to Blacksburg. During their stop for breakfast, they talked about his flight quals coming up in February, and he apologized because, with the office moving to Naples in March, he wouldn't be able to come to San Diego for their six month anniversary as he'd hoped. The conversation was pleasant, though some of the topics led Mac to believe that Harm was testing the new waters of communication.

They held hands and were more relaxed when they left the restaurant for Blacksburg.

After checking with Mac for the time - she was more reliable than any watch he'd ever owned - they decided that, time wise, it would be better to stop by the Johnson home and Grace Aviation to look for Tom and check on Harm's plane first.

For Mac, Harm being behind the wheel of his pride and joy and them being on the road together, the world felt right.

At Mattie's childhood home, there was no answer to their knocks and the door was locked, so they moved on to Grace Aviation.

Harm was surprised to see that the sign still read Grace Aviation. Checking in at the office, they found a man who could explain the reason, from which Harm and Mac could only figure that either Tom had sobered up long enough to make some sound business decisions or he'd had some kind of drunken epiphany.

The man, Bill, explained that he'd been hired by Tom to manage the place for him. While speaking to Bill, it seemed that Tom had also hired an accounting firm, too, because as the manager, he never had any bills to pay, and his and his helper's paychecks arrived by mail every Friday. Bill also informed them that he hadn't seen Tom in weeks, but that wasn't unusual, and then he asked them if they wanted to leave Tom a message in case he drifted by and offered them a pen and paper.

Harm said, "Tell him to call his daughter. She's worried about him."

Mac took the pen and paper and wrote down Mattie's name and their home phone number, along with the words 'calling collect is okay' underlined on the paper before handing it to Bill.

While Mac was writing the note, Harm informed Bill that the Stearman was his and that he was going to look her over before they left.

Bill took the paper from Mac, set it down on the desk, picked up a business card and offered it to her. "If you two decide to take up that plane of yours, give me a call. Stu and I will have her ready when you get here."

In the hanger, Mac watched Harm give his plane a visual once over, then he rested a palm on the surface and began to run his hand over Sarah's skin. His hand came to a stop, and he spoke without turning to look at Mac.

"I thought about it yesterday when I picked up my car. I spend a lot of money keeping them up. This plane, the car, even the apartment are things that I don't need anymore. I think it's time to sell them."

His words took the wind right out of her. He was talking about giving up things that were very dear to him. Still in shock, but needing to acknowledge that she was listening to him, she said, "You have a lot invested in those things. I don't think that you should make a decision like that on the spur of the moment."

"Mac, it doesn't look like I'm going to get orders to San Diego, at least not before the deadline we gave it, so that means that they'll be in storage for at least a year if I keep them. Do you know how much money I could be putting away for a house if I wasn't paying storage for the plane and the car, not to mention keeping two apartments? I pay all the bills, but there isn't much left over for college funds, a down payment for a house or fertility treatments that aren't covered by insurance. When I do get a chance to visit San Diego later this year, I want to take a couple of extra days and drive the 'Vette cross-country...one last road trip together. Besides, a classic convertible in mint condition should fetch top dollar in southern California. I know that it means a couple of more months of storage fees, but to get a good price, I'd have to wait for spring here, so I think a couple of months of fees are unavoidable." He turned to face Mac now, as if he couldn't say it while looking at Sarah. "As for the plane, I'll call Alicia. You remember her, Professor Montes. She said that her grandfather, I think it was, had one, and if I ever wanted to sell her, she wanted first dibs. I want Sarah to go to someone who'll appreciate her and take care of her."

Mac thought that selling these things was like giving up part of who he was, and she wasn't sure that he should do it, but it was his choice. On the other hand, she worried that the last reason for his need to save money, the fertility treatments, would someday be the cause of resentment, if that's what the money was used for. At this moment though, he needed her support. She moved to his side and rubbed her hand across his shoulders. "You should take her up one more time before you make any calls."

"No, Mac. You can say goodbye to your car during a road trip, but it doesn't work that way with your plane. If I took her up, I wouldn't be able to let her go."

Mac pulled him into an embrace, and he let her hold onto him while he added, "I'll call an agent to put the loft up for sale, too."

Mac wasn't sure what she could say or do to comfort him, but he wasn't acting like he wanted out of her embrace, and she wasn't going to be the one to pull away first.

If this was one of the things that had been on his mind last night, she certainly understood more about why he'd been moody. Mac sometimes hated her internal clock because it timed things that she didn't care how long they lasted. This was one of those times. Her heart felt for Harm and wanted nothing more than to let him take comfort in her arms for as long as he wanted or needed to be there, but her clock was ticking off the minutes that they'd been standing there while her mind had raced to find another solution.

He stood in her embrace for nearly five minutes before he pulled back. "We've got other things to do than just stand here. Let's check on Tyler for Mattie, and then we'll take a nice, leisurely drive back to Bud and Harriet's for dinner. What do you say? You in?"

"With you? You bet," Mac replied with a smile.

After giving Harm the address of the community center where the open house was to take place, silence permeated the inside of the car, and Mac understood the reason. Harm wasn't at peace with his decision, and he wasn't able to talk anymore about it right now.

After parking the car at the center, they made their way up the walkway to the open doors. Mac heard Harm take in and let out a deep breath and, when she looked over at him, he'd conjured up a smile for Tyler's sake. They were looking around to see if they could see him when a familiar voice called them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, over here."

They looked towards the voice and saw Mrs. Potter behind a school cafeteria-type table, and she was waving them over.

They approached Mrs. Potter, and she walked them through the sign-in process and told them the purpose of the open house. After they'd signed in and received the pamphlet on the most frequently asked questions about adoption, Mrs. Potter's job was done, but she made it a point to talk to them because they were there to see Tyler, probably her favorite foster child of all time.

"I'm glad you came. He'll be so happy to see you. We do these once a year. He wasn't eligible until after the court had severed the rights of both of his parents completely, so this will be his fourth. He's come here every year filled with so much excitement and leaves so disappointed that it breaks my heart, but he has hope. Tyler has been rejected by couples for reasons that vary from 'they were really more interested in getting a girl' to 'he's blonde and no one will believe that he's ours.' Some people just don't understand adoption." Mrs. Potter let out a heavy sigh. "Anyway, this time last year, a couple seemed really interested in him, and we all thought that he was going to be adopted. They were having him for overnight visits, but they found out that she was pregnant after two years of trying. Her doctors told her that her pregnancy would be an at-risk one, and they opted not to add adopting Tyler to her stress. When we told Tyler, he said that, every year he gets a little closer and, one of these days, he's going to get picked. He's a great kid. He's sitting over by the refreshment table. He says that he gets to check out everyone that way because, sooner or later, everyone wants a drink or a brownie."

Harm got the definite impression that Mrs. Potter was hopeful that their visit marked the year that Tyler got 'picked.' He and Mac made their way over to the refreshment table, and Tyler saw them and approached. "You're Mattie's parents, right?"

Mac bent down to talk to the little boy. "That's right. I'm Mac and he's Harm."

"What kind of name is Mac for a girl?" he asked.

Mac felt like they were blocking the refreshment table, so she suggested that they move to some chairs that were out of the way. Once the three of them were seated, Mac explained, "Mac is a nickname. It's short for MacKenzie, my last name, and Harm is short for Harmon, his first name."

He looked down at the floor like it was a crime or something for him not to have one when he responded, "I don't have a nickname."

Mac wasn't surprised when Harm spoke to him in a fatherly fashion. "You want one, Buddy?"

Tyler's head shot up, and he looked up at Harm, nodding in the affirmative.

"Well, I think if you're name is Tyler, then you're nickname should be Ty."

"Ty, I like it," the little boy said.

Harm spoke again. "What else do you like?"

"I like baseball and cars."

"Harm has a really cool car," Mac announced.

"Is it here? Can I see it?" Tyler asked, his blue eyes twinkling.

Mac was amused that boys just liked cars. It didn't matter what their age.

"I'll bet if we go to the window over there that faces the parking lot, you could see it," Mac said.

The boy was on his feet in a matter of seconds, saying, "Let's go!"

Harm and Mac followed and, sure enough, the red car could be seen clearly from the window. Mac was amused by Tyler's excitement when he asked Harm if he could take him for a ride in it with the top down someday.

"It isn't warm enough outside right now, but maybe when the weather gets warmer, I could," Harm replied to the young boy's question.

Mac told Tyler, well, Ty, as he was going by today, that Mattie had asked them to tell him that she said hello, that she was feeling much better and that he should write to her as many times as he could because she really liked getting his letters.

Harm was surprised when Mrs. Potter came by to tell them that it was two thirty and that open house was over. It hadn't felt like they'd been talking to the boy for an hour and a half. Mrs. Potter said that she needed to get Tyler home so that she could make dinner for everyone and took Tyler by the hand, leading him towards the exit doors.

Mrs. Potter had taken a few steps away when Tyler pulled his hand from hers and ran back to Harm and Mac. He wrapped his little arms around Mac's waist and hugged her. He looked at Harm and wasn't sure how a hug would go over with the tall guy, so he stood up straight and offered his hand. Harm, very aware of the height difference, squatted down to be closer to Ty's level to shake the young man's hand. As quickly as he'd flown over, he ran back, saying "goodbye" over his shoulder.

They were on the way out when Ms. LeMoine saw them. "I'm so glad you came. No one had talked to Tyler before you came. I was able to say goodbye to him when Mrs. Potter was getting him into her car, and I must say that he's never left one of these that happy before."

Mac had to ask. "No one talked to him?"

"I'm afraid not. Tyler will be seven in March, and the older he gets, the harder it will be to place him. Most potential parents are scared off by his background and see a drug addict in ten or twelve years, and they don't want to say that they raised him. One day I hope to be able to find two people who'll be smart enough to know that he isn't a lost cause because of his father and mother, that if they're loving parents to him, he'll be just fine."

Mac looked at Harm with sad eyes. "I feel awful that we might have spoiled things for him. We might have kept people from approaching him because we were talking to him. He didn't get closer to being adopted this year."

Harm didn't want to have an unhappy Marine on his hands, so he asked, "Ms. LeMoine, Mac and I are here in Washington on a very tight schedule, and I don't know what it entails for you, but would it be possible for us to take Tyler out for a few hours tomorrow since he's out of school?"

"We still have our files on both of you from Mattie's case, so I can arrange for you to have him for a few hours tomorrow, based on your previous history with us. Do you remember how to get to the Potter house?"

"Yes. Is there a particular time that we should come by?" Harm asked.

"You can pick him up just before lunch, say eleven thirty, but he needs to be back by four thirty."

Mac and Harm expressed their appreciation for her time and her help, and left the community center for Bud and Harriet's house. Harm seemed to be feeling better, and Mac thought about how the day had gone better than she'd expected since Harm had dropped the news on her that he wanted to sell everything.

The car ride seemed longer on the way back. Maybe it was because the ride was quiet and, with darkness falling outside, there was no scenery for her to look at. About halfway to Bud and Harriet's, Harm did make the statement that she'd better think of something to do with Tyler tomorrow.

Harriet was thrilled to see them. They chatted for a few minutes before dinner was ready and then enjoyed a delicious meal together. After dinner, Harriet and Mac made their way to the kitchen to talk, and Bud and Harm went into the den to talk about the case and decide if they should drive down to Norfolk on Monday night for court on Tuesday morning or drive down early on Tuesday.

Harriet made sure that Harm and Mac got to spend some time with the children to see how much they'd grown before putting the younger ones to bed. With the younger children in bed and a drive out to Blacksburg on their list for tomorrow, Harm and Mac thought that it was time to say good night and head back to the apartment.

The ride to the apartment didn't seem very long, accompanied by light conversation about Harriet's meal and the growth of the Roberts' children and such.

Once in the apartment, Harm took Mac in his arms and kissed her passionately, like he'd been saving it up all day. After kissing her, he scooped her up and took her to bed where they made love.

It was after lovemaking and while Mac was lying in his arms that Harm asked her, "Do you want Tyler?"

"Some, I guess. I think it's sad that such a sweet little boy can't find a home. I know that Mattie's on board for it because, when we were talking about him, she told me straight out that she wouldn't mind."

"I thought you wanted a baby."

"I do. I guess that's why I said some, but, on the other hand, I've thought about him a lot since we first met him...almost every day. We saw several children at the Potter house during the few visits that we made before we got to take Mattie home, but, when I saw Tyler, I felt something. I can't say that I love him and I can't say that I don't, but I can say that he's touched my heart...like you did the first time I met you."

"This is really what you wanted to discuss with me, isn't it? The other stuff was just chaff when you couldn't bring yourself to tell me everything, wasn't it?"

"Yes. I didn't realize how much stress you were under until last night and I had no idea that driving your car yesterday had added another thing to your plate until you talked about it today. May I say something about that subject while we're talking?"

"Sure," Harm replied.

"Think about it some more before you do anything. I know that it's your stuff and it's your decision, but I really think that one day isn't enough time to think of other options." Mac paused. "Would you want to adopt Tyler?"

"No."

"May I ask why?"

"I'm tired. Let's get some sleep. We have to drive out to Blacksburg again tomorrow, and I need to get my head back into that murder case."

Mac didn't know why he'd shut down again, but she knew better than to press him for any answers right now. It was best to let him rest and then see if he'd talk about it before or after they visited Tyler tomorrow.

Mac snuggled into Harm, and he wrapped his arms around her a little tighter. No more words were exchanged. They just fell asleep.


	57. Chapter 57

**PART 5 – Miscommunication Still A Problem**

**MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 2006**

Mac woke after three hours of sleep. She was aggravated with herself for letting Harm close himself off from her without putting up more of a fight and she was angry with him for not talking to her. She'd told him that he could talk to her, and he had earlier in the day. She rolled away from him, turning her back to him and felt some remorse in doing so, but it was minor until it struck her that he might take her rolling away from him as a sign that she wasn't being supportive of both his voiced and unvoiced worries. She was about to roll over and resume her place from a moment before when he rolled over, wrapped his arm around her waist and snuggled up against her back. He must have taken her movement only as a sign that she needed to find a more comfortable position in which to sleep.

Mac wanted to scream at him, but they saw so little of each other that she didn't want to fight. She wanted to _make _him talk to her, but trying to force him to do so would probably result in a fight.

Her mind couldn't stop thinking about how to handle the situation with Harm, so sleep came in spurts until morning.

Mac showered and dressed before going into the kitchen to come up with something for breakfast. She could slice the fruit, but not with the plastic knife, which was the only utensil she had. She took note of the time and checked on Harm. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, so she slipped on her coat and grabbed her purse.

On the road to the store, an alternate solution to him selling everything came to her. She returned from the store with a handful of things: two muffins, a small stainless knife and a package of disposable plates. She sliced the fruit and placed it on a plate. Then she placed the muffins on another plate and made two cups of instant coffee before performing a balancing act up the stairs with both cups and both plates.

When she reached the bedroom, he was on his back, the covers covering him from mid torso down. "Harm," she said loudly enough to cause him to stir. "I've got breakfast."

Harm woke at the sound of his name and opened his eyes as she announced that she had breakfast. "Morning," he said as he moved into a position that allowed him to reach for the plates that she'd balanced on top of each cup in her hands.

He placed the plates down on the bed and moved to more of a sitting position with his back propped against pillows.

Mac sat down on the bed and took a sip of her coffee while he got comfortable. "Instant just isn't real coffee. I say we pick up a cappuccino at a drive-thru on the way to Blacksburg," she said as she offered him his cup now that he was sitting up.

Harm took a sip from his cup and agreed to get their second cup on the way out of town. Mac wasn't sure if this was the best time, but she wanted to tell him about the plan that she'd thought would keep him from having to sell his car, plane and apartment. She waited for each of them to have a few bites of breakfast before she spoke.

"Harm..." she said before pulling off a piece of muffin. "...when I went out this morning, I thought of two options for your things. Do you want to hear them?" She popped the piece of muffin in her mouth and waited for his answer.

Harm lifted his eyebrow in that unique way of his and looked her in the eye. "If you've got a dispassionate plan, I'm all ears. You haven't steered me wrong yet." He lowered his eyebrow and gave her a warm smile.

Mac knew that he was referring to comments that she'd made in Russia, and she got a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing that he remembered more from that time than just learning the fate of his father.

"Your office is moving in a few weeks, so option one is that you live in officers' quarters in Italy and store your household goods until you move to San Diego. You can put the money away that you save in rent and keep everything."

"If I get my relocation orders by the deadline, that will save only a couple of months rent. If I don't get my orders, then I'll probably be in Italy for the next year until my retirement goes through, and your plan works only if you don't intend to visit me in the next year."

"With the money that you're saving each month, if we're able to come for a visit, we'll be able to afford a hotel. It won't be a problem. I also have a second option for you to consider. You could get a place in Naples, but put money in the bank by driving your car to San Diego as soon as you're able to get leave...but not to sell it. Frank has been letting me use one of their cars since Mattie and I arrived, and because Frank told Mattie that she can use it to get her driver's license, I'm sure that we'll be able to keep it for a while longer. The condo has two covered parking spots, so there's room for the 'Vette, and, if it's okay with you, I could drive it when Mattie gets her license so that she and I aren't trying to share one car. If you don't think that saving the car storage fee is enough money to put away each month, then you could sell this place...but you put a lot of work into making this place what it is. Plus, it does have some sentimental value…" Her lips spread into a shy girl smile. "It's the first place where you told me that you loved me. So I think that you really should think about it more before you decide."

That particular smile of hers was a very special one, and always stirred protective and loving feelings in him. "What about my plane?" he inquired, trying not to give away how much he wanted to simply put his arms around her and hold her at the moment.

"You keep Sarah," she said firmly.

He didn't say anything. He just looked at her. She might not understand his love of flying, but she supported his need to do it anyway. It was one of the things that he loved about her.

She was sure that his silence meant that he was thinking about the options that she'd given him, but there was something more that she needed to say. "There's one more thing that I want to talk to you about." She paused. "Houses and college funds are good reasons to save, and wanting to put money away in case I need it to have a baby is very sweet, but I don't want you to sell off things that are important to you because I want to have a baby."

Harm corrected her. "_We_ want to have a baby."

She gave him a warm, loving smile. "Exactly, and _we_ need to save. We can open a joint savings account and each put in a set amount every month."

His smile was bright and his eyes sparkled. "You mean you want to go halves on a kid?"

"I believe that was the deal, wasn't it?" Mac asked.

"It was, so we'll start a savings plan together, and I'll decide about my things after I've thought over the options that you've given me."

She gave him a gratified smile, and he reached for the last slice of apple on the plate.

"Last piece, you want to split it?" he asked before placing one end in his mouth and holding it securely between his teeth.

She leaned over the plates and took a bite off the end of the apple slice. He pulled the remaining piece of apple out of his mouth. "You didn't take half," he stated.

"If I took half, our lips would've touched, and we'd end up being late. If we're going to have time to stop for cappuccino, you need to get moving."

"You're no fun," he said before popping the remainder of the apple slice in his mouth and flicking the covers back to get out of bed.

He got out of bed and headed to the shower as she responded, "If you weren't leaving tonight, I'd show you how much fun I can be."

He turned slightly and replied before scurrying into the shower. "Then I expect some fun tonight, because I'm not leaving until tomorrow."

After Harm had completed his morning routine and was dressed and ready to leave the apartment, Mac suggested that she drive. They had the rental, so she wouldn't be driving his car - just yet anyway. He agreed, knowing that, if he wasn't behind the wheel, it would give him an opportunity to look over the case on the drive out to Blacksburg. Harm grabbed the files for all four murders, and they left the apartment. After a stop for coffee, they were on their way to Blacksburg.

During the drive, Mac asked Harm about the case on which he and Bud were working. Harm told her about it, including the big news that he was sure that the prosecutor hadn't given JAG the case out of the goodness of his heart, but as a means to have time to try to find a connection between his client and the other three victims. When Harm told Mac about the bruises on Ensign Rodgers' face and arms that indicated that she'd fought back, but the other victims hadn't, Mac's comment was that it sounded like the first three victims knew the attacker.

The conversation was getting a bit morbid for two people on their way to have fun with a six year old, so the conversation was changed to why he wasn't going to Norfolk tonight. Not that she wanted him to, but she was curious as to why he wasn't. Harm and Bud had worked it out after dinner last night. Bud was leaving after their family dinner this evening. Harm said that having to leave at near dawn in the morning to meet Bud in Norfolk was worth it to have another night with her. Mac's head was floating in the air among the clouds from his sweet sentiment. He said that he was going to try to commute between Norfolk and Washington for the next few days while she was in town, but there was no guarantee that he'd be able to do it. It depended on how the case unfolded.

As they exited the interstate in Blacksburg, the conversation turned to what activity Mac had planned for today. Mac said that lunch and miniature golf were on tap. She'd gotten the idea from Harriet, and they'd found directions online to a local place.

Mac knew that his next question would be about the weather, and she was ready with an answer. "Online, it said that they're open year round. They have an arcade and pizza party area that Mother Nature can't mess up because it's inside. The website also said that there's a mini nine-hole course indoors, but that as long as there's no snow or standing water on the outdoor courses, if you don't mind being out in the cold, they'll let you play year round."

They arrived at the Potter home at 1115 and knocked on the door. Mrs. Potter answered the door and greeted them. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Rabb. Tyler has changed clothes three times because he 'wanted to look just right'. He's so excited. Do you know what you're doing with him so that I can check to make sure that he has on something appropriate?"

Mac told Miss Nancy, as she preferred to be called in front of the children, their plan before Miss Nancy went to get Tyler.

Miss Nancy returned with Tyler who was wearing blue jeans and a red polo shirt. "I told him that I thought this outfit would be fine, but I didn't tell him where he was going." After he donned a jacket, they were off.

They selected a fast food restaurant where Ty, as he was still going by today, informed them that milkshakes were a favorite of his, especially chocolate ones.

After lunch, it was off to miniature golf. They played an 18-hole game of golf and then moved into the arcade to warm up and then back outside for another 18-hole game, but this time, they selected a different course. After the second round of golf, it was back inside to the arcade. Mac saw a photo booth and wanted to get a picture of Tyler to take back to Mattie, but later, during the ride back to the apartment, Harm would tease her, though it was an exaggeration, that she'd spent more on photos 'for Mattie' than the rest of the day had cost.

Because of concern over time constraints, they dropped off Tyler at a few minutes to four instead of closer to four thirty. They were glad that they'd come back early because Ms. LeMoine was already there, waiting to see how the afternoon had gone. She spoke briefly to Tyler, who proudly showed off his strip of three photos taken of the three them in the photo booth.

Leaning into Ms. LeMoine in what he probably thought was a whisper, but Harm and Mac could hear, he said, "I don't think Harm wanted to be in the pictures, but Mac got him to do it." Everyone smiled, and Ms. LeMoine told Tyler that it was time to say goodbye to Harm and Mac so they could go home.

Mac bent down to speak to the little boy, but he wrapped his arms around her neck. He hugged Mac and then shook Harm's hand as he had yesterday.

Ms. LeMoine walked out with Harm and Mac, carrying a manila envelope. She spoke with them about how she could tell that Tyler had enjoyed his afternoon with them. Ms. LeMoine had wanted to be here when they arrived for one other reason. She wanted to plant the idea of them adopting Tyler.

"I know that you came today to keep Tyler from losing hope of being adopted, but from the looks of the smiles in those pictures that he's showing off, all of you enjoyed the afternoon." She offered the envelope in her hand to Mac. "I know that it's presumptuous of me, but I put together a packet of what you'd need to do in order to adopt him. If you decide to adopt him, the application is the first thing that you'll need to fill out. If you fax it to me, I'll personally deliver a copy to get the ball rolling, and you can mail in the original. Think about it."

Ms. LeMoine had had her say, so she bid them farewell and watched them drive away, hoping that she'd hear from them soon.

Mac had intended to drive back to DC, as well, but Ms. LeMoine's words had given her something to think about, and she asked Harm if he'd mind driving instead.

They rode in silence most of the way, but a little more than half way back to Washington, Harm spoke on a neutral topic by asking where he should stop for dinner.

After the dinner discussion had ended with a decision to pick up some take-out Chinese and eat back at the loft, Harm didn't venture into the topic that he wanted to discuss. It really wasn't a good place to have a serious talk.

Mac was still quiet once they'd arrived at the apartment, and she just picked at her dinner. Harm didn't think that she'd eaten more than three bites, so he decided that it was time to ask.

"You want to adopt him, don't you?"

"No, I want _us_ to adopt him, but you don't want him, so there's no point in talking about it. I just wish that you'd tell me why so I'd understand. While you were sleeping last night, I came up with reasons, most of which led me to believe something that I don't want to face because I love you so much. ... I don't want to think that our marriage was a mistake."

Her voice was a blend of anger and hurt. Harm was in shock. He'd thought that, by not telling her his reason, he wouldn't hurt her, but instead, he'd hurt her and made her question their marriage. He reached over, took her hands in his and pulled them to his chest, placing them over his heart. "Mac, I don't know what reasons you've come up with, but our marriage wasn't a mistake." He paused, hoping to find the words that he needed to repair the damage that he'd caused.

Mac pulled her hands away from him. "It was a mistake if you don't want to raise a child with me," she spat out and marched towards the bedroom.

He was up on his feet and following her in less than a second. "Mac," he called as she hurried her pace up the steps to the bedroom.

She was angry, but she didn't understand. He spoke to her back, hoping that she'd hear his words and give him time to explain. "I _do_ want a child with you. I want us to have a family. We made a deal, and I'm _not_ backing away from going through with it."

She was too angry to look at him, so she stood with her back to him and kept him from saying more by firing off, "All that was before the problems with Mattie. You think that I'm a bad mother now and you've changed your mind."

He was behind her, but her last shot needed to be answered head on. He put his hand on her arm and turned her to face him. She didn't look him in the eye, so he took his index finger, slipped it under her chin and lifted her head to make sure that her eyes met his. "No, I don't. If anything, it proves the opposite to be true, that you're a good mother. You were patient, loving and understanding of her 'growing pains' and you're there for her every day. My reluctance has nothing to do with your parenting skills."

There was no mistaking the honesty and sincerity in his eyes. Her voice softened and her question came out as a plea for him to tell her. "I've seen you with Mattie. You're a good dad, and I can tell that Tyler already thinks the world of you, so I don't understand." She paused to let him say something, but she remembered another reason that she'd thought of last night. "Is it because he's a boy and you want your son to be yours? Is that it?"

Harm knew that he couldn't let her guess anymore. The reasons that she was coming up with were too extreme. "No, that isn't it. It's that I can't be a dad…if I'm not there." Mac didn't respond, letting his words sink in, but he couldn't handle the silence. "Mattie's older, so I wasn't really raising her. I was more of a mentor or guide, though I'd like to think that I did it in a fatherly way. Tyler's younger, and it's important for a boy to have a dad at his age. I don't want you to raise our child by yourself. I want to be there."

Mac saw the moisture that was threatening to fall from his eyes and knew that he'd told her the truth. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. She felt a deep sigh escape him. Trying to lighten the mood, she whispered in his ear, "See why you should talk to me? When I have to come up with the answers on my own, I tend to get carried away. I'm sorry."

"Me, too," he whispered back. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I should have told you, but I wasn't sure how you'd feel about my reason. You could have thought that I was just making up an excuse or maybe you wouldn't understand my reason or…whatever my concern about telling you, I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you or to shut you out."

Their lips met in a tender kiss of support and understanding. When their lips parted, Harm spoke, "I don't think that I've ever said it before, but thank you for taking in Mattie and doing such a good job, even when she was being difficult. You're going to be a wonderful mother."

"Thanks, it means a lot to me that you noticed and that you appreciate what I've tried to do..." She paused. "...and, Harm, our marriage wasn't a mistake."

Relieved that she'd revoked her statement about their marriage, his lips slowly came to hers and administered a smoldering kiss as his hands moved from her hips and around her back until his arms had wrapped around her. The kiss deepened, and only the need for air finally forced them to part.

"You want to finish dinner?" Mac asked breathlessly. "Or can we skip it for now and have makeup sex?" she finished with a grin.

His response was to pull her closer to him, and their lips came together again.

After the 'makeup sex' session had been completed, they were then able to define it for the first time. Makeup sex: though at least one of you were earlier questioning why you were even with your partner, once you've reached an agreement, the need to be physically with the other becomes too urgent for pure lovemaking, so with a heightened sense of need, the loving matches the urgency to renew the partnership with a fast paced loving that results in pleasure and confirmation that you're together for a reason.

They both had work to do, so they didn't have the luxury of extra time to stay in bed after they'd 'made up'. Mac slipped on a robe while Harm put his boxers back on.

Mac reheated their dinner and then they ate. After eating, while Mac cleaned up the kitchen and prepared her uniform for tomorrow, Harm went over the materials that he had on the case one more time, but still nothing significant came to him.

Mac was in bed reading when Harm came up to ready his uniform for his early morning departure and check his bag to be sure that it was ready, too.

When departure preparations were finished, he turned and looked at Mac in bed. She had the sheet pulled up to just above her breasts, but there were no straps showing, and he knew that she'd merely slipped back out of her robe and had nothing on under the sheet. He moved towards his side of the bed. "You remember our talk this morning about the car, the plane and the apartment?" he asked.

She looked up from her book and nodded.

"You and I had another first here..." he said with a devilish grin as he pulled back the sheet before tugging at his boxers. "...right here on this very bed, as I recall," he said as he stepped out of his boxers and got into bed.

Mac creased the corner of the page that she was on before closing her book. She turned slightly to place the book on the nightstand and felt his moist lips kiss along the edge of her shoulder blade in the center of her back as his hands on her arms held her in place. It wasn't like she wanted to move, because being in his arms and knowing that he loved her was a feeling that she hadn't yet learned to describe.

After making love, they lay tangled together in a state of bliss in silence for a few minutes. She began to draw circles on his chest with her fingertips, and he knew that she wanted to say something. It was only a few more moments before she spoke. "It's okay that you don't want to adopt Tyler. I do understand your reason."

He reached for her hand that was on his chest to still it. "I _do_ want us to have a family, but until we can be together full-time, I just don't see how that's possible."

Content that they might be making progress in the area of communication, they fell into a peaceful sleep.


	58. Chapter 58

**PART 6 – A Change in Perspective **

**TUESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2006**

**Mac's day in Washington…**

Mac waited for Harm to get in the shower before she got out of bed and slipped into her robe. She was tempted to join him in the shower, but was afraid that he wouldn't leave on time if she did.

They sat and stared starry-eyed at each other over a cup of instant coffee before they hugged and kissed goodbye in case he wasn't able to return to Washington before she had to leave for California.

After their hug and kiss, they wished each other good luck in their work, and Mac said that she'd call him later to say good night. With those final words, he was on his way to Norfolk.

Mac had time to get a little more sleep and she did lie down, but sleep didn't come. Her mind was full of thoughts: their first fight, Tyler and her meeting with General Cresswell, which was to be held later this morning.

The meeting with Cresswell was the least stressful item. Today, she was meeting with him to make sure that she was prepared to appear on Wednesday in front of the committee who was monitoring the JLS concept.

The other two topics on her mind were more complicated.

It was in the shower that her mind became clear enough for her to come to a conclusion about Tyler and her struggle with wanting to adopt him. She'd look over the paperwork that she'd been given. Perhaps there'd be something in the information packet that would disqualify them, and then she'd be able to let go of the idea.

She'd left the info packet on the breakfast bar last night. On her way to retrieve the envelope, the thought came to her of how it would complicate her life with Harm if there wasn't a reason why they couldn't adopt him. She didn't know if she could stop wanting Tyler and she couldn't force Harm to want him and, to make matters worse, he had a good reason for not wanting to adopt him. The envelope wasn't on the counter, so she thought that she must have left it in the car. No problem, they'd taken her rental car yesterday, so she'd get dressed, go out to breakfast and read the papers over a real cup of coffee.

It was a good plan. However, when she searched the car for the envelope, there was no manila envelope to be found. Where was it?

Over breakfast, it occurred to her that Harm could've scooped it up with the files that he'd been reviewing last night. It was too early to reach Ms. LeMoine at her office, so she hoped that General Cresswell would want to take a long enough lunch break that she'd have time to call her then.

Mac met with the general and, during their lunch break, she did have time to call Ms. LeMoine.

Ms. LeMoine didn't answer, and, with Mac not knowing her schedule, opted not to leave a message for the time being.

By 1430, Cresswell was convinced that Mac was ready to meet with the committee, but before dismissing her for the day, he gave her some last minute advice: get a good night's sleep, eat a hearty breakfast and don't be even a minute late for her 1000 meeting.

Mac tried to call Ms. LeMoine again before she'd even exited the building, but she got no answer this time either. However, this time, she did leave a message. "I have a couple of questions about adopting Tyler, so if you could call me back anytime today, no matter how late, I'd appreciate it."

Ms. LeMoine returned her called at 1615.

**Harm's day in Norfolk…**

Leaving so early in the morning, Harm met with very little traffic until he was near his destination in Norfolk.

Harm and Bud met early enough to have time to review their plan of action for this morning and to meet with their client before court convened. They spoke to Eric Stanton about what they hoped would happen and what he could expect if they didn't get the continuance. Eric looked anxious, but they assured him that, though they had no new information, they had several ideas, that all possibilities hadn't been exhausted and that it was too early in the process to give up.

The good news for Harm and Bud was that the judge for this case was Judge Sebring, so they thought that they had a good chance to get their continuance. They were ready with their argument and cited the fact that they'd been given this case only five days ago and that three of those days had been part of the extended holiday weekend, which had interfered with them being able to speak with at least two people who were out of town on a camping trip. The argument garnered understanding from Judge Sebring. However, Judge Sebring felt that Captain Rabb should be capable of getting up to speed in short order and gave them only forty-eight hours to wrap up the interviews and be ready for trial.

With only two days' extension, there was no time to waste. First, they wanted to track down the sailors who'd gone camping and who still hadn't gotten in touch with them. It was Tuesday, and they were supposed to return to duty today. So after court was dismissed, they were off to the ship to hunt them down.

Jonas was the married one, and he said that he'd gone that night as a way of bonding with his shipmates before deployment. He'd gone in civilian attire because he'd thought that his uniform would draw too much attention. He didn't fault the single guys for wanting to 'hook up' before leaving port, but he was happily married and wasn't looking to make any 'shipping out' memories. Jonas also told them that Matthews was the other sailor in uniform that night.

Jonas went on to explain that, around 2200, Matthews hadn't gotten any 'bites' at the Tango Club and he'd wanted to go to a strip club instead. Jonas said that he'd tagged along to make sure that Matthews got back to the ship, saying, "You know, the buddy system, Sirs." Jonas said that he and Matthews had left the Tango Club, turned right and stopped at the first strip club along the way. After a beer, they'd moved on, stopping at one or two more before going into the Wild Waves.

The Wild Waves had been crowded, and Jonas said that he'd wanted to leave, but there had been some nice looking girls dancing, and Matthews had wanted to stay. They'd ended up sitting at a table near the dancers with a couple of men they didn't know. As the beers disappeared, one of the guys at the table had started to get loud and said that 'he wanted the girls to quit teasing him and come take care of what they'd started.' That had been around midnight and, within a minute or two of the guy's outburst, a man working security, according to his shirt, had arrived at their table.

"The other guy at the table was with him, and they must have assumed that we were, too, because they asked the whole table to leave. I told Matthews that it was late enough and, by the time we got back to the ship, we'd have been out a respectable amount of time for pre-deployment fun, so he agreed to leave. We left and caught a cab back to the base," Jonas explained.

Harm asked Jonas if the man who'd gotten out of hand at the table had been in uniform and asked for a description of the guy.

"No, he wasn't in uniform, and I don't think he was in the service because of the way he looked. He was an 'old' guy – in his mid to late fifties at least. He was probably about five ten with a beer belly and short dark hair," Jonas said.

Matthews had the same basic story. His story didn't vary from Jonas' until the end when he claimed that Jonas was afraid that, if they didn't leave the club peacefully when asked, his wife would find out, and he didn't want her mad at him before he shipped out.

The list of people who Harm wanted to interview was getting longer instead of shorter. After talking with Jonas and Matthews, he added two people to his list: the drunk, if they could track him down, and the security guy who'd thrown him out. The drunk's comments made him someone of interest to Harm. The time line was off, but Harm's mind was able to quickly run through a couple of scenarios that would explain the missing time.

The time frame on this crime was so narrow. The victim had been seen leaving a dance club with their client around 0100, and her body had been found a little after 0200. Harm searched the file for the name of the security people and dancers who'd help establish the time line. No individual names were mentioned, just the notations, 'Spoke to dancers that left a little around 0130 and they said the car wasn't there' and 'club security said that he didn't see the car when he walked out the last of the dancers or after he'd clocked out and left about ten minutes later.'

After leaving the ship, it was lunchtime. After a quick lunch, it was off to the local JAG office to claim their spot and have some room to work.

Bud was on the phone with Ken at the Wild Waves, and Harm passed him a note to get the names of the security personnel on duty that night. When Bud got off the phone, he said that he'd gotten the name of the drunk who'd been thrown out. Thank god for credit cards and the paper trail they leave. Ken had said that he didn't make or keep schedules of the security staff, so they'd need to contact the company, Centurion Security, for that info.

Bud started to run a check on the drunk who now had a name, John Owens, while Harm called Centurion Security to request the names of the guards who'd worked at the Wild Waves the night of the murder, which the receptionist was hesitant to give. So she asked him to call her back to give her time to speak to her boss.

Bud's search found that the drunk had been arrested and convicted ten years ago of public drunkenness. He'd paid a fine and hadn't been in trouble since. A check of his income tax records showed dependent children listed until seven years ago and a wife until four years ago. According to occupations listed on tax records, John Owens was a plumber, and a search of the military personnel database confirmed that he'd never been in the military, so there was little chance that he'd have a uniform.

After a second call to Centurion Security, Harm had the names, addresses and phone numbers of the two guards who'd been scheduled to work the night of the murder.

The first guard he called answered his phone on the second ring. He confirmed that he'd escorted the drunk to the door and passed him off to his partner that night. When he was asked to explain, he said that his main duty was to keep an eye on things from the ID door since he it gave him a pretty good view of the stage while he screened for anyone who might be trying to enter the club that was under age. At dusk, another guard came on, and his duty was to watch things outside. For instance, if he saw a patron staggering and suspected that the guy was drunk, the outside guy was supposed to talk the guy into taking a cab. The outside guard was also the guy who was to make sure that, if someone had been kicked out of the club, he didn't hang around the door and actually left the premises without causing any trouble. The outside guy would take over at the ID door around midnight when things had slowed down and the first guard went off duty, and the second guard would leave around 0130 or whenever the last of the dancers left. The staff bouncer stayed to help close up, and the closers all left together.

When Harm started to wrap up the call with the first security man, he asked him to verify that the man's name that he had listed as the second guard that night was correct. That's when Harm got one more interesting tidbit of information. The security company had given Harm the regular guy's name, but he was informed by the man on the phone that the regular guy hadn't been there that night because his wife had been in labor.

Harm called Centurion Security back to see if he could get the name of the person with whom they'd replaced the regular guy that night at the Wild Waves Club. The young lady who answered the phone, a different woman than earlier, said that she wouldn't give out that information until she'd talked to her boss, and he was gone for the day. They'd have to call back tomorrow. She also said that it would take her awhile to find out the name because they'd had a system's glitch around that time so she'd have to search for everyone who'd been paid for working that day and narrow the search down from there. Harm suggested that she start working on it now so that, when she got approval to tell him tomorrow, she'd already have the information, but given the fact it was 1645, he doubted that she'd do it. She'd probably been on her way out the door when he'd called.

Harm and Bud figured that they weren't going to get much more done because of the hour and decided to call it a day. Harm figured that, if the secretary got permission to give them the name, they probably wouldn't get it until late in the day. With Bud having been away from home last night and Mac in Washington only through tomorrow night, it seemed that the best plan would be to go home and meet in Bud's office in the morning.

Harm had to stop for gas and, after filling up, he called Mac to let her know that he was headed home. When she inquired when he thought that he'd be there, he said that he was just getting on the road, so it would be three or four hours, depending on traffic. His best guess was, too late for dinner, but not too late.

**A Washington night...**

He'd stopped about halfway to get something to eat and get a break from the traffic, but he was putting his key in the lock on the apartment door at 2027.

When Harm came in, the only light on in the place was the lamp in the bedroom. He moved towards the light and climbed the stairs. Mac was sitting in bed and reading a book. He was glad to be home.

He put down his bags and tried to conceal his excitement at seeing her. "Hey," he said.

"Hey, yourself...have a good day?" Mac asked.

Harm had come over and placed a peck on her lips in greeting. "Okay, I guess. How about you?"

"Good, Cresswell thinks that I'm ready to face the committee." Harm had begun to unbutton his shirt as she spoke. "How are you feeling about your case?" she asked, watching him pull open his shirt and tug it from the waistband of his pants.

"Frustrated," he said as he pulled the shirt off his shoulders. "You know how it is. Once in a while, you read over a case and the answer just seems to jump out at you, and you wonder why someone needed for you to point it out. However, more often than not, the key to uncovering the truth is found in the little details. I don't believe my client committed the murder, but I don't have any way to prove it." By the time he'd finished talking, his shirt and tee shirt were off and he'd turned and begun to toe off his shoes.

She continued to watch him as he undressed. The sight of him sliding his pants down over his six made it hard for her to speak, but she had something to say. It had been on her mind all day.

"Harm, I know that we made up last night, but I also know that I hurt you when I said that our marriage was a mistake. I need to know that you understand that I said it because you let me imagine the worst reasons possible for you not wanting to adopt Tyler. I understand you're viewpoint now that I know what it is. I shouldn't have let myself get so worked up that I'd say something that would hurt you like that. I want to make sure that you and I are okay before I leave."

Harm was down to only his boxers by the time she'd finished, and he turned to face her. "I promised to work on being more open the other night, but you need to promise that, until I get better at it, you won't let your mind jump to the conclusion that I'm not talking because I don't want to break bad news to you."

"I promise to try," she said with a big grin. "So, we're okay?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"Good, then come to bed. The general told me that I should get a good night's sleep, and I will if I'm sleeping with you."

"Not so fast." She was confused and concerned at his response. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a manila envelope. "I must have picked this up along with the files that I was working on last night."

He moved towards the bed and lay the envelope on the nightstand beside her, then proceeded to move around to his side of the bed. "I want you to know that you were right about something. Sometimes just saying things out loud gives you a different perspective on the subject without anyone expressing their view or opinion about it."

He was getting into bed as Mac said, "I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean that you've gained a new outlook on something?"

"Yes, about adopting Tyler," he said as he positioned himself on his side, facing her with his torso propped up by his foreman.

She let silence hang in the air for a few moments while she put her book on the nightstand and rolled to face him, propping her head up against her palm. "I'm all ears. Fill me in."

"I was driving back to Washington tonight when I thought of it from a different angle…Tyler's. If we adopt Tyler, he'll have a permanent home and be living with a loving mother and big sister. I may not be living with you, but it isn't like he won't know that I exist. So perhaps the best way to decide is to leave it to fate. We can apply to adopt him and, if it's meant to be, then the court will decide in our favor. If it isn't meant to be, we'll know that we tried."

"I'd like that, but are you sure?" she asked with nervous excitement.

"Sure enough that, when I stopped for dinner, I filled out my section of the application."

Mac moved in quickly to kiss him. He dropped back onto the bed, and she stayed with the kiss, following him down. Then she abruptly cut off the kiss and looked into his eyes. "If we get Tyler, you'll still want a baby, right?"

"Yes -" he managed to reply before her lips were on his again, indulging in another taste of him.

Her warm body ignited a flame in him, and it soon, as it does in the case of most newlyweds, escalated to being more than just kissing. His Marine was in top form as she mounted him and regulated the pace of their lovemaking until she'd taken them both over the edge.

Mac lay on top of him, breathless, and Harm's rapid breathing was a sign of an enjoyable union. Mac was feeling a new kind of happiness. Was she really going to have a family? She must be dreaming, she thought. She felt him move before feeling the kiss that he placed on the top of her head. Not sure that she should mention it now, but wanting him to know, she spoke.

"I talked to Ms. LeMoine earlier. I asked her, if I had time, if I could come out to see Tyler tomorrow to say goodbye."

"What did she say?" Harm asked.

"She said that she'd call Mrs. Potter in the morning and let her know that I might be by and that it was okay for me to see him for a few minutes. She also asked that I call Mrs. Potter before I headed that way to be sure that my arrival time wasn't inconvenient for her."

"Call me before you head that way. Bud and I will be working out of his office tomorrow, so I might be able to get away and come with you. If we give her a call in the morning, maybe we can hand-deliver the application to Ms. LeMoine tomorrow...if you get up early enough in the morning to fill out your part of the application."

"I'll do it now," Mac said enthusiastically.

"No, I'm comfortable now. Please do it in the morning," Harm pleaded with a yawn.

"Okay, sleep now, paperwork later," Mac replied. "Are you going to Norfolk tomorrow night or Thursday morning?"

"I want to stay with you while I can, so I'll leave Thursday morning at dawn again."

Mac stayed with him until she was sure that he'd fallen asleep. Then she got out of bed, grabbed the envelope and started to fill in the blank lines on the form.

After she'd finished the form, she slipped the papers back into the envelope and put the envelope into her briefcase before she went back to bed.

Once back in bed, she got as close to him as humanly possible, closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep.


	59. Chapter 59

**PART 7 – A Connection Made **

**WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18, 2006**

Harm met Bud in the parking lot of JAG HQ and took the opportunity to speak to him. He asked if Bud minded if he took a really _long _lunch if they weren't getting anywhere with the case by the time Mac called. With Harm being a senior officer and not needing his permission to leave, Bud knew that Harm's reason must be personal. However, the curious Lt. Commander Roberts asked about Harm's reason anyway.

"Going anywhere special, sir?"

"Yes, Blacksburg," Harm answered without hesitation.

"You're plane still out there, sir?"

"Yes, she is," Harm replied, not giving even a hint that Bud's assumption that he was going to see his plane was wrong.

With the answers that Harm had given him and since Harm had taken his Corvette out of storage this trip, Bud was convinced that Harm was going out to check on his plane.

Bud liked this new level of their friendship, one more of equality than teacher and student. Their exchange about checking on his plane had Bud wanting to test the limits of this new phase of their relationship a little. With that in mind, he suggested a deal: Harm could take an extended lunch to go to Blacksburg while he stayed behind and prepared opening arguments, but, in exchange, Harm had to prepare closing arguments. Bud was a little surprised that Harm didn't try to negotiate. He just said, "Deal. Thanks, Bud."

Harm and Bud had entered Bud's office and had left the door open. They were pulling papers out of their briefcases when they heard a tapping on the office door. It was Lieutenant Vukovic. The lieutenant was standing up straight with an air of challenge about him.

Vukovic's voice was strong and each word dripped with jealousy. "Captain, I heard that you were selected to take over my case. I also heard that the accused is the nephew of Senator Proxmeyer, a long time friend of the SecNav's. If you can get him acquitted, it'll certainly put you in the running the next time the Judge Advocate General's chair is empty."

Harm wasn't here to soothe Gregory Vukovic's ego, and he wasn't going to give him the pleasure of thinking that he could get to him.

"You think the guy is guilty?" Harm asked, his voice controlled and calm.

"I think the evidence supports it, and he didn't convince me that he didn't do it."

"Did he deny committing the murder?" Harm asked, curious if Stanton had told Vukovic something that he hadn't told them.

"Yes, but -" Vukovic started, but Harm cut him off.

"Since you were supposed to be defending him, why don't you tell me how you mounted his defense?" Harm inquired, quickly coming to the understanding of why the lieutenant had been replaced as Stanton's counsel.

"I'm sure that you've read the file, sir, and know my defense strategy."

"I read the file, but I'd like to be sure that I understand it from your angle so that I'll know how _not_ to proceed," Harm stated, his voice still calm.

Vukovic was steaming at the captain's shot, and his voice was strained, but he kept in control as he replied, "The evidence was mostly circumstantial and, based on Lt. Stanton's outstanding service record, he couldn't or wouldn't commit murder." Vukovic's face took on a smug look. "You have work to do, and I should get back to mine as well." He launched a final attempt to get under Harm's skin. "Good luck. You're going to need it to get Stanton off, Captain Rabb."

Harm responded in the same calm tone that he knew was getting to Vukovic. "I don't need luck, Lieutenant, but thank you."

Vic hadn't gotten to Harm, and he wasn't happy about it, but he left without another word.

Once Vic was out of earshot, Bud spoke. "I think you showed remarkable restraint, sir."

"Thanks, Bud. Now, let's make sure that we don't have to _use_ his defense strategy."

After a few moments to shake off the feelings from the encounter with Vukovic, they looked over their interviews, statements given to police, reports by the medical examiner and a report by an expert at the crime lab. Harm also placed a call to Centurion Security. The young lady hadn't been able to talk to her boss yet, and she hadn't begun the search even if he'd give her permission to release it.

While they hoped that the other security guard had seen something that would help clear Stanton, they worked to create possible scenarios without any information from him.

Scenario one was the probable police version that circumstantially implicated Lieutenant Stanton in all four murders. According to his service record, he'd become stationed aboard his current ship two weeks before the first murder. The ship, though gearing up for deployment, had been in port at the time of all four murders. In the four weeks after Tina's murder, while the ship was participating in war games off the coast, no other murders had taken place and none had taken place since the ship had arrived back in port and Stanton had been taken into custody. Why Tina's murder wasn't as 'clean' as the other murders was the problem with this theory. The bodies in the other three murders had been dumped, but not murdered where they'd been found, unlike Tina's. Perhaps leaving her body where she'd been killed could be explained by the amount of activity in the area that night - whoever had killed her hadn't been able to remove her body in order to dump it elsewhere without being seen.

The last thing about Tina's murder that struck Harm as so odd were the bruises. She'd fought with her attacker and the others hadn't. Using the theory that the other three victims must have known or trusted their attacker enough to turn their backs on him, thus, no fighting back, then why did the killer go after Tina? This led to another scenario: The first three murders were done by the same man, but Tina's was a copycat killing.

Harm reviewed the newspaper articles - there was no mention of the type of knife used, so it was unlikely that it was a copy cat killing. Bud had something to disqualify the copy cat idea, too. A review of the medical examiner's reports from all four victims indicated that the blade of the knife had a nick in it that had resulted in a more unique cut than a knife of the same kind. It would be highly unlikely that, not only would a copycat use the same type of knife, but for it to have a nick of the same size and in the same place took this theory out of the running.

It was nearing lunchtime, and Harm called the young woman at Centurion for the third time. She said that her boss had no problem with her releasing the name and that she'd start a search right after lunch - she should have the name for him early tomorrow. Harm explained that he needed it today because he'd be in court tomorrow. The secretary seemed to be a little sympathetic to his situation and said that she'd try to get the name for him by the close of business today.

Frustrated by the lack of progress, they decided to go over the information one more time and then break for lunch. During their pre-lunch run through, Harm's phone rang. It was Mac. He asked how her meeting had gone.

"I can't believe that I prepped for a week before I got here, spent half a day with General Cresswell yesterday, and my meeting lasted all of forty-one minutes."

"So where are you now?"

"I'm about five minutes from you, but I was at the mall. I didn't want to take you away from your case too early, and there's no need for us to be there before 1500 because he won't be home from school yet. I thought about going to the apartment to change, but shopping sounded like a lot more fun. I called Ms. LeMoine, and she's going to meet us at 1530 so that we can talk to Tyler and she can pick up the paperwork."

After Harm had bid Bud farewell and left his office to go to Blacksburg with Mac, the thought about how hard it must be for Harm and Mac to maintain a marriage this way came to him. Bud had thought that sea duty was hard. However, at least he and Harriet had had time to be together and establish a strong foundation for their marriage before being separated, making Bud believe that what Harm and Mac were doing had to be a lot harder.

Harm was waiting when Mac pulled up in the parking lot. He threw his briefcase in, and they were on their way. Just outside of town, they stopped to grab a quick bite of lunch, and Harm took over the driving.

On the drive out to Blacksburg, Harm said that he'd made some decisions and filled her in. He and Mac should open that account when he brought his car to San Diego. He was hoping for May, but it depended on how smoothly the relocation of his office went in March. He was going to keep the plane, at least for the time being. He confessed that he needed more time to think about the loft. He'd worked hard on the place and it held a lot of memories.

Mac could've teased him about which memories made it harder to let go of it, but she didn't. Instead, she said, "I think you're being very wise by not making a hasty decision."

Mac told him about her meeting. She said that, when she'd called General Cresswell to tell him about it, she'd wondered if it had gone well because it was far shorter than the meeting for which he'd prepared her. He'd laughed and said, "That's because you were ready. If you hadn't been prepared, they'd have attacked like sharks with chum in the water. Good job, Colonel."

Harm vented to her about his struggle with the secretary at the security company to get the name of a guard who was on duty the night of the murder. They talked almost the entire trip, but after they'd made the turn off the interstate, Mac got quiet. They were rapidly approaching their destination, and she had butterflies in her stomach from the one question that she hadn't been able to ask before now.

She reached over and rested her hand on Harm's thigh. She needed the contact with him before she asked the question.

"Do you think that he'll want to be ours?" she asked in a nervous, shaky voice.

He reached down, took her hand in his and pulled it up to his lips. After placing a kiss on her fingers, he answered, "I don't think that he was waiting to be picked. I think he was waiting _to_ pick, and he picked us. I'm just not sure if he picked us the first time we saw him or at the open house," Harm said reassuringly and with a confidant smile fully in place.

His words eased her butterflies, but they'd return in full force a few minutes later when he pulled the car up in front of the Potter house. Mac had needed to regain her composure, so they were still sitting in the car when Ms. LeMoine pulled up.

Harm and Mac got out of the car and waited for Ms. LeMoine on the sidewalk. Mac handed the manila envelope to Ms. LeMoine, and she took the envelope and suggested that they go talk to Tyler. They weren't all the way to the front door when it opened, and a blonde, green-eyed little boy came shooting out.

"Miss Donna, you brought them back." He was talking to Donna LeMoine, but when he reached the trio approaching the house, he wrapped his arms around Mac's waist in a tight hug that Mac instantly returned.

"They came back, and we'd like to talk to you. Can we go inside?" Ms. LeMoine asked the excited little boy.

Tyler had released Mac and was standing between her and Harm. "Sure," Tyler replied as he took Mac and Harm's hands.

The four of them sat in the living room and talked to Tyler about Mac and Harm wanting to adopt him. Tyler was thrilled that they wanted to be his parents. There were no problems or questions in that department. The hard part was in explaining the timing to Tyler. He wanted to leave with them now. Knowing Tyler's experience last year, it was easy to understand why he wanted to leave with them immediately. Tyler was really struggling with the fact that he couldn't leave with them and, after a few minutes, Mac remembered something that she'd bought at the mall. She excused herself, leaving Harm and Ms. LeMoine to explain to Tyler one more time why he couldn't leave with them today.

Mac returned from a trip out to the car with a shopping bag and knelt in front of Tyler.

"I know that you want to come with us now, and I'd like that too, but you can't. You're a very special little boy, and they need to talk to us and Mattie and people we know to make sure that we're going to be good parents and they need time to do that. You have the pictures from the other day and, if it's okay with Miss Donna and Miss Nancy, I brought something for you to keep here that will remind you that we're waiting for you." Mac reached in the bag and pulled out two stuffed bears, one dressed in a Navy uniform and one dressed as a Marine. Mac and Tyler both looked at Ms. LeMoine.

"You can keep them," Donna LeMoine said as she took note at how well Mac had handled the situation.

Tyler reached for the two bears and, with one in each hand, put his arms around Mac's neck and gave her another hug. Mac reciprocated as Harm watched. She wasn't going to be just a good mother, she was going to be a great mother.

Tyler lifted his bears so that he was sure that Harm could see them. "My bears are dressed like you. Are you dressed in different colors 'cause there're different colors for boys and girls?"

"Our uniforms are different because I'm in the Navy and she's a Marine," Harm explained.

"Oh," Tyler replied before looking at Ms. LeMoine to ask the million dollar question. "How long until I can live with them?"

"It depends, Tyler. Colonel MacKenzie lives in California with Mattie, but Captain Rabb lives in another country, so it may take a little while. I can start the process now by talking with each of them for a few minutes, but the rest isn't up to me. We could make a wish that it happens by your birthday," Ms. LeMoine stated, trying not to be unrealistic with a date, but trying to stay positive about him being adopted this time.

"That's far away," Tyler said, sounding dejected.

"It might happen sooner, but it might take longer, too. I just can't give you an answer," Ms. LeMoine stated.

"Can't you start talking now?" Tyler asked.

"Yes. If you'll stay here and talk to Captain Rabb, Colonel MacKenzie and I will go into the kitchen and talk, and then they'll trade places."

That's the way it happened. Mac followed Ms. LeMoine into the kitchen, and she asked most of the same questions of Mac that she'd asked of Harm when she'd talked to him about Mattie. After talking to Mac, Ms. LeMoine repeated the process with Harm.

When Harm came back into the room, Tyler knew that it was time for them to leave because he could hear Miss Nancy in the kitchen making dinner. Ms. LeMoine confirmed it. It was one of the hardest things that Mac had ever had to do, say goodbye to that little boy, but she managed. Harm bent down closer to the boy's level to say goodbye and shake hands, but he got a hug this time, too.

Ms. LeMoine walked out with them and gave them an overview of how she thought the schedule would go and what they could expect to happen next. After she filled them in, Harm and Mac moved towards the car. They looked at each other over the roof of the car and then turned towards the house. Their little boy was watching them, looking so lost. He had his bears in front of him with his arms wrapped around them. It was this sight that caused Harm to see that little detail that he'd been missing. He didn't know if he was that rusty or if he'd been so mentally distracted that he hadn't seen it, but he was onto something now and started to move around the back of the car.

"Mac, you drive. I've got to make a call or two, and I should have enough daylight left to look over the file again."

Harm opened the back door of the rental car and grabbed the file out of his briefcase before jumping into the passenger seat. He'd already dialed a phone number that was written on a Post It note on the outside of the file before Mac had time to pull away from the curb.

Harm looked at his watch as the phone rang in his ear a second time. It was 1629. She should still be there. On the third ring, she answered, "Centurion Security, how may I help you?"

Harm asked her if she'd found the guard's name yet. She said that she'd been able to narrow it down to one of three people: two men and a woman who'd been asked to cover for someone. Harm asked her if she had the time sheets for the guards. The guard who he was looking for would have clocked out around 2:00 on Saturday morning. "If you're sure about the time, then it has to be Charles Reed. He clocked out at seven minutes before 2:00." Harm told her that he needed his time cards and work schedules for the dates for the two weeks prior to the first murder and two weeks after Tina's murder, and gave her the fax number at JAG HQ so that she could send the information there.

Harm was flipping through the file, looking for something. He flipped over a couple of pages and read a moment, then he flipped over a few more and read briefly before he snapped the folder closed and started to dial again. He was calling Bud.

When Bud picked up, Harm told him to expect a fax and to see what he could find out about the guy. He also wanted Bud to call Mrs. Weathers and ask her to describe the uniform that the man who she saw leaving the alley was wearing or explain how she was so sure that it was a uniform. When Bud inquired as to his reason, Harm said, "You remember when we went to the Wild Waves Club the other night? We went in before dark and saw the security guy at the door, but when we spoke to the guard who worked that night, he said that another uniformed guard comes on at dusk to patrol the outside."

"Then you think that maybe it wasn't a military uniform that Mrs. Weathers saw that night," Bud said, finishing Harm's thought.

"Exactly," Harm replied.

When Harm hung up, Mac knew that what had caused him to give up the driver's seat was about the case, but she wanted to know more.

"What were you looking for in the file?" Mac asked.

"I was looking to see if anyone had asked the witness to describe the uniform that she saw or, since it was dark, how she knew that it was a uniform."

"And..." Mac said, hoping that it would prompt him to keep talking.

"...And no one did," Harm replied.

"What made you think of this uniform theory of yours?" Mac questioned.

"You remember Tyler asking about our uniforms being different? I didn't think anything of it when he asked, but when I saw him in the window with those bears and I couldn't really make out which uniform was on which bear, it hit me. Maybe she saw a uniform, but what if it wasn't a military uniform at all?"

"So you think that it was a security guard's uniform that she saw?"

"Yes, and I think she saw the guard coming out of the alley and, because of the tight time line between the last people out of the club and the discovery of the body a little after that, he either committed the crime or he saw who did."

"Very good, Captain. When we stop at JAG to pick up your car in a little bit, are you leaving for Norfolk?" Mac asked.

"No, I'm spending the night with you and heading out early in the morning again, unless Bud calls and I have to go tonight."

"Then I hope that Bud doesn't call," Mac said, hoping that she'd get to spend one more night with her husband.

Bud called about an hour later to say that he hadn't had much luck. He'd left a message on Mrs. Weathers' answering machine, but hadn't yet talked to her. Bud said that he hoped that she hadn't gone to see her daughter, or they might not hear from her before she was scheduled to appear in court. On the Charles Reed front, there was hope. His work schedules showed that he'd worked a shift at each of the clubs where the dead strippers had worked a few days before their bodies had been found. Harm and Bud agreed that, with this new information, they'd meet earlier in the morning than they'd planned to see what progress they could make before going into court where they'd try to get another day's continuance to talk to Mr. Reed and, hopefully, Mrs. Weathers. If they weren't able to get any more time, they'd split up, and one would run the Reed angle while the other stayed in court.

Harm was sure that he'd cracked the case, but his delight was dampened by the fact that tonight would be his last night with Mac with no idea of when they'd see each other again.

Mac dropped Harm off at his car and left in a hurry. She had an idea that would leave them with a memory. She got home first, as she'd hoped. She turned down the bed covers and moved to the clock radio where she tried for several minutes to find some kind of appropriate music.

She finally found a station that she thought would work, based on the song that was playing. The timing couldn't have been better because, as she settled on the radio station, the apartment door opened and closed. He was home.

Harm came upstairs and set his briefcase down next to his bag since he'd be taking both of them with him to Norfolk. With Mac leaving town tomorrow, there was no reason to commute anymore.

As Mac was moving back to her side of the bed from his, the music caught his attention, and he realized what she'd been doing. She'd been turning on the only radio left in the house.

"What are you up to, Mac?"

"I hear you like strippers, Sailor," Mac replied with a seductive grin.

Harm wasn't going to say anything to that, at least until he'd found out if Mac was angry about him going to the Wild Waves Club, which he hadn't told her about, but he was sure that she'd caught on to it when he'd been talking to Bud in the car.

She made it around to her side of the bed where he was standing and gave him a little push in the chest with her hand. He sat on the edge of the bed and, as soon as he was sitting, she began to unbutton her jacket in rhythm to the music.

When her jacket dropped to the floor, she said, "Your turn." Then she came over to him, unbuttoned his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders, but allowed him to remove it as she backed away from him and pulled off her tie and took off her shoes.

"Your turn," she said as she watched him match her clothing removal. When he had the items off, she unzipped her skirt and turned her back to him. He stood and unzipped his pants, and, without taking his eyes off of her six, which was swinging in time to the music until her skirt was past her hips and headed to the floor, he dropped his pants and stepped out of them.

Her back still to him, he pressed his tee shirt and boxer clad body against hers, and she swished her six back and forth against him, eliciting a moan. She turned, put her palms against his chest and pushed him back. "Not suppose to touch the girls, are you?" she asked, pointing her index finger at him.

He stepped back and sat down on the edge of the bed again. She began to unbutton her blouse in time with the song that was playing. When her shirt came off, she didn't have to say your turn this time. He was already unbuttoning his shirt while looking at the beautiful woman in front of him in her bra and panties. Soon, his shirt was on the floor with the other items.

She moved towards him and shimmied her breasts near his face. Okay, this was getting to be too much for him. She turned as if she were going to walk away, but she didn't. She lowered her six over his lap, swiveled her hips and told him that he could unhook her bra. He wasted no time in accomplishing that task. Then she stood up, took a couple of steps forward and then turned before pulling off her bra and tossing it in his direction. "Your turn," Mac said. She was enjoying the reaction that she was getting from him. She swayed her hips to the music until his tee shirt was on the floor, then she took a step towards him. "Did I ever tell you that one of my law professors thought that I'd make a better lap dancer than a lawyer?"

Harm wasn't hearing anything that she was saying as she danced, and her now bare breasts jiggled with her movements. She turned around and began to sway her hips as she pulled her panties down like she was going to touch her toes. She returned to an upright stance and turned back to face him as she danced over to him. She lowered herself until her center hovered above his lap and then she swiveled her hips.

He didn't know if the heat that he was feeling in his lap was coming from her on if it was his own heat reflecting back on him, but he knew that he wasn't going to make it much longer if he let her continue undeterred. His hands grasped her hips firmly, and he began to kiss the point closest to him. He kissed upward and, by the time he reached her neck, he was standing.

"You forgot your turn," she stammered out as his moist kisses neared her ear. She turned to walk away, and he quickly shed his boxers and moved to her. Her body leaned back against him as he brushed the hair from her shoulder and kissed her neck. He began a trail of kisses down between her shoulder blades and took a couple of steps backward until he felt the edge of the bed against the back of his legs. As he kissed down her spine, he began to slowly ease himself back down to sit on the edge of the bed.

As he neared her six with his kisses, she turned, and her arms went around his neck. She could feel the heat of his hands on her back, and their lips met in a searing kiss. When they pulled back from the kiss, she breathlessly said, "I didn't finish dan -"

He didn't let her finish, covering her lips again with his. His blood flowed through his body as hot as molten lava.

He then took a firm hold of her body and brought her up onto the bed with him. As they kissed, they moved together until the two of them were completely on the bed.

He began to kiss her neck and down between her breasts, taking the time to kiss and caress each breast before moving on. He was trying to stave off his own need to explode and, at the moment, focusing on her was the only way that he had a chance.

She'd enjoyed teasing him with her dance, but she was enjoying the attention more that he was now bestowing on her.

He kissed and teased her in ways that he knew she enjoyed, but after her performance, he wanted to make it a little more memorable for her. As he'd done before, he kissed down between her breasts and down her abdomen to her belly button, but, this time, he didn't stop at her belly button or her panty line or at the hair line. He continued down between her legs. He administered a few open-mouthed kisses, and then her body shuddered involuntarily as his tongue swirled around her swollen nub, and she let out a moan.

He continued to stimulate her there until her fingers dug into his shoulders as she tugged on him. He kissed back up the way he'd moved down there, taking time to stop and let his lips, mouth and tongue enjoy her breasts once more before he slowly entered her. As he slid his hard shaft in and out of her, the intensity of their joining overcame her and, this time, she was much more vocal, and the noises that she made helped drive him to want to take her to a level of satisfaction that he hoped that she'd never experienced before. Her body quivered beneath him and her walls tensed around him and, as she let out a final cry of pleasure, he let go, too.

He didn't know if it had been a new level of pleasure for Mac or not, but it certainly had been for him. He was exhausted and allowed his body to rest on hers for a few moments.

Her breath tickled his ear as she whispered breathlessly into it, "Wow!" Unbeknown to him, that was the only thing that she could utter because she couldn't put into words the experience that she'd just had. It was the most loving, most intense and longest lasting orgasm that she'd ever had.

After catching his breath, concerned that his weight on top of her would crush her, he lifted himself off of her and moved to her side. Once in a position at her side, she moved in to cuddle next to him. His arms were ready to hold her close and, as she snuggled in, he said, "I take it back. You are fun."

He couldn't see the smile of satisfaction on her face. They both had a memory to reflect on during the lonely nights to come.

He felt her shiver. "Cold?" he asked.

"A little," she replied quietly.

He reached for the covers and pulled them up over them before swinging his leg over hers, wrapping himself around her to warm her. "Better?"

She nodded in the affirmative against his shoulder.

Drained from the intensity of loving each other, their eyelids quickly became heavy, and sleep took hold of them.

Mac would wake after only a couple of hours, turn off the radio and make sure that the alarm was set for Harm's early morning journey to Norfolk, but she'd find sleep again in his arms, even with the nagging voice in her head that was telling her that the time to part was near.


	60. Chapter 60

**PART 8 – Unsatisfying Victory **

**THURSDAY, JANUARY 19, 2006**

Harm turned off the alarm when it first began to buzz so that Mac could sleep and then slipped out of bed.

His act was thoughtful, but it didn't work because, as soon as his weight lifted from the bed, she woke, thinking about how soon this reunion would be over. He'd shower, shave and drink a cup of coffee before he left for Norfolk. By the time he finished his workday, she'd be back in California to a condo that held no memories of him. She wanted to be near him, so she got out of bed to join him.

Harm was in the shower, eyes closed and head tilted back to rinse the shampoo from his hair when he felt her arms slip around his waist and her body touch his. He dropped his arms and let them encircle her, taking one step forward so they'd be out of the direct stream of water coming out of the showerhead.

"I wanted to be near you. Hold me," she requested.

He already had a firm grip on her with no plans of letting her go even before she'd asked him to hold her.

"Did it just sink in that last night was our last night together for at least a couple of months?" he asked.

She nodded, and they stood holding on to each other for several minutes before Mac pulled back and looked up at him. "Keep this place until we have some other place where we have memories together like the ones we have here," she pleaded.

"I love you," he whispered before he caused her toes to curl with a kiss that seemed to come out of nowhere.

When the kiss broke, she said, "And I love you." Then she let go of him, leaving him as quickly as she'd come so that he could finish his morning routine and leave for Norfolk.

He finished shaving and dressing and, when he came down the steps, he had his briefcase in one hand and his bag thrown over his shoulder. He heard her voice coming from the kitchen.

"Do you want a cup of the instant stuff that they label as coffee before you go?"

"Do I have time?" he asked as he put his gear down by the door and walked towards the kitchen.

"You have time for one cup with no frills."

"If by frills you mean no kiss goodbye, then I'd rather have the kiss than the coffee."

He had that grin on his face that made her knees turn to putty and her heart beat a little faster. 'Damn him, using that smile on me now,' she thought as she poured the hot water into the cups containing the granules of instant coffee.

"Maybe half a cup and then a kiss," Mac suggested.

'Thank God she's in a robe now, or I'd have no will to leave,' he thought as they sat at the breakfast bar, holding hands and looking longingly at each other as they drank their coffee.

After the coffee was gone, Mac walked him to the door. They kissed each other goodbye and held each other in an embrace just a moment longer, taking in the smell and feel of the other for one last time.

After they'd released each other, he picked up his gear, and she held the door open for him. She watched as he entered the elevator and mouthed the words "I'm going to miss you" before the gate closed and the elevator began to descend.

'I'm going to miss you, too,' she thought as she closed the door. Saying goodbye was getting to be more and more painful. She'd thought after the first couple of goodbyes that they'd get easier, that once she trusted that he'd return, she'd have an easier time of letting him go. It wasn't happening that way. The more time they spent together, the more time she wanted, and saying goodbye got harder each time. Thankfully, she had no more time to think about being away from him because it was now time for her to complete her morning routine and get ready to leave for the airport.

She'd call him later tonight to let him know that she'd made it home and see how his day in court had gone.

On his way to Norfolk, Harm rehearsed his argument for another day's continuance. He knew that it wouldn't take Bud more than a day to get the background information on Charles Reed.

It would be wonderful to go into court in the morning with the bombshell that he knew who the killer was. It wasn't an attorney's job to solve the crime, but Harm had always taken extra satisfaction in not just winning through good use of his knowledge of the law, but discovering the complete truth.

Harm met Bud inside the courtroom and found that Bud had already been busy this morning. He'd made arrangements for them to have quarters for the night and had obtained information on the case as well.

To go along with the work schedule information that Bud had received yesterday, Bud said that a database check revealed that Mr. Reed had never served in the military. A check on Charles Reed's driver's license and his guard's license with the state, which had been issued a week before the first killing, his physical description was listed as 6"1' and 173 pounds. Bud said that the curious thing that popped up was that, when he'd checked his social security number and tax records, his name was listed as Charles Owens, not Reed.

"Bud, Owens...we've got that name in here somewhere."

"Yes, sir, John Owens, the drunk who was escorted out of the Wild Waves around midnight."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Bud?"

"I believe so, sir," Bud said with a look with which Harm was familiar.

Bud had that 'I have more' look. "It hasn't been that long since we worked together, Bud. I know that look. What else do you have?"

"John Owens is Charles Owens' father, sir. Charles has a sister, too. I haven't been able to get an address or phone number on his sister yet, but I'm working on it."

It was time for court, but there were leads to follow. They'd stick to the original plan and ask for more time, but if they didn't get it, Harm would handle the courtroom and Bud would keep digging.

It took thirty minutes to convince Judge Sebring that they had enough circumstantial evidence, which pointed to someone else as the killer, to warrant giving them one more day.

Harm and Bud scrambled to get out of the courtroom to get to work, but Detective Sanchez stood up in front of them to stop their exit. He'd been on the task force that had investigated Ensign Rodgers' and the other three murders, and was in the courtroom to testify for the prosecution. He wanted to help, saying that he had no interest in sending an innocent man to jail and, if they were right, not only might that happen, but the murderer would be free to start up again at a time of his choosing.

The detective took them to the precinct with him where they'd have access to anything they'd need. Bud had a list of things that had been checked and a list of things that still needed to be checked. They split Bud's 'need to check' list among the three of them. Bud was a computer genius and took charge of searching a variety of databases. Detective Sanchez was to share his case notes on all four murders and give them access to things such as court documents and police records on the other three murders. Harm was in charge of making phone calls and keeping track of who was working on what and what else needed to be done.

Bud gave Detective Sanchez the name of the person who was a sister to Charles Owens - who they believed at this point to be using the alias Charles Reed - and left the search for her phone number to him while he searched for their mother. The search for the mother resulted in discovering that she'd died, but her last known address had been here in Norfolk, so Bud was hopeful that Detective Sanchez would have no trouble obtaining information from the coroner's office on such things as the next of kin or the name of the funeral home. If he could get the name of the funeral home, Harm could go to work on getting the information from them.

As it turned out, getting the name of the next of kin from the funeral home wouldn't be necessary in order to get information on the family because Sanchez came through with a phone number for Owens' sister. Harm called her, and she agreed to meet with him and Detective Sanchez. Bud stayed behind to keep working on other leads, and he'd call Harm's cell if he ran across anything of interest while they were gone.

When Harm and the detective returned, they had a sandwich for Bud and a lot of news. The daughter had been full of information.

********FLASHBACK********

**INTERVIEW WITH THE SISTER**

"The last two years that I lived at home, my parents fought constantly. A few months after I moved out, Mom filed for divorce. Dad had changed over the course of their marriage and he'd started drinking regularly, but he'd never hit any of us, so Mom told me that she felt that staying with him was better than struggling to keep food on the table without Dad's income, since her only job experience had been as a housewife, but one day it just got to be too much."

Harm and the detective could see that the telling of her mother's story was upsetting her, but they admired her for continuing with the recounting of the conversation that she'd had with her mother shortly after the mother had filed for divorce.

"Mom told me that she'd left him, hoping that he'd change and give up drinking and the strip clubs, and that they'd be happy together again like in the beginning. It didn't happen. Dad married a stripper almost the moment the ink was dry on the divorce papers. Mom was devastated that he hadn't begged her to come home, but attention from a man in the weeks prior to the final divorce decree seemed to bring her out of it. Mom married him about a month after Dad remarried. He was the first man who'd shown her any affection or attention in years. The man didn't drink, but he gave her the wrong kind of attention...he hit her."

The daughter told the story of the day that she and Charles had found out that her new husband was abusing her.

"Charles and I had gone to see her for Mother's Day and, when we saw her black eye, we just knew that he'd done it. The worst part was that she knew that we knew that he'd hit her. Charles and I were ready to get her out of there that minute, but she wouldn't leave with us. After that, she'd cancel plans at the last minute, and we saw less and less of her. She wouldn't leave him and, now that we knew, I guess she was too ashamed to face us, so, after a few months, we didn't hear from her anymore and we didn't see her again. We didn't even know that she'd died until people started calling to offer their condolences, saying that they'd read her obituary in the paper."

Curious if the change of her brother's last name was significant, the detective asked if her mother's second husband's name was Reed.

"No, the only Mr. Reed who I remember was Charles' high school wrestling coach. Charles thought the world of the guy and spent a lot of time with him, mowing his lawn, going to church with his family, what they'd call a mentor these days. Charles even told me once that he was the guy who'd taught him to be a man, telling him what to say to get a girl to go out with him and making sure that he was dressed right for a school dance, that kind of thing."

********END FLASHBACK********

After talking with the sister, more of the findings started to make sense, and a case against Charles Reed began to quickly come together, and, at just before 1600, Detective Sanchez felt that he had enough evidence to go to a judge to get a search warrant for the residence of Charles Owens a.k.a. Reed.

The detective was hoping to get the warrant and serve it today because, after Harm placed a call to Centurion Security, they knew that Mr. Reed was off tonight and, hopefully, he'd be home, and it would be a nice easy bust if the search revealed enough for them to make an arrest. Right at the wire on the close of court business for the day, Sanchez got his search warrant, and at 1722, it was served on Mr. Reed at his residence.

Harm and Bud weren't allowed to tag along with the police when they served the warrant, but they were still at the police station when Detective Sanchez returned.

Detective Sanchez told Harm and Bud that they should go out for a celebratory dinner because the murderer was now in custody. He told them that, if Reed cracked during interrogation, he'd give them a call. If they didn't hear from him tonight, he'd meet them tomorrow with enough proof that the case against their client would be dismissed.

After calling the brig to give their client the good news, Harm and Bud went to check into their overnight accommodations before going to dinner. Both men changed clothes, and Bud called Harriet to tell her that he'd be home sometime tomorrow for sure because they'd cracked the case. Harm called Mac, but it went straight to voice mail, so he hung up. She was evidently still en route.

Harm and Bud sat at the bar of a local restaurant, having a beer until a table became available. They finally got their table, ordered and had just been served their salad when Harm's cell phone rang. It was Detective Sanchez. He'd gotten a confession out of Reed, so Harm invited him to the restaurant to share the story and enjoy a good meal.

Harm sprang for dinner and drinks upon hearing Detective Sanchez's recounting of Reed's confession, hoping to feel the thrill of victory as he had in the past.

Once Harm was alone in his quarters for the night, he allowed himself to think about why he didn't have the same feeling of satisfaction that he'd previously felt after a victory in court. He paced while he mulled it over. Was he was no longer interested in the courtroom? Or had the courtroom thrill been replaced during his almost year of administration with pride in running an efficient office and having his budget and relocation plan approved? He stripped down to his boxers and climbed into his rack and, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he realized what the true reason was for his unsatisfying victory: he was alone again. Nothing felt quite the same to him in the days that followed a goodbye.

The ringing of his cell phone brought him out of his thoughts.

Harm reached for the phone, not looking to see who was calling because he welcomed the distraction.

"Captain Rabb," he said, once he'd flipped his phone open to let the caller know that he was on the line.

"Why so formal this evening, Sailor?"

Her voice floated into his ear like soft, soothing music. "You're back in San Diego?" he asked.

"Yes, back safe and sound. I wanted to tell you that and find out how your day went."

He wasn't sure how much of it was because he wanted to share everything about his life with her or how much of it was because he wanted to talk to her as long as possible. He just knew that he didn't want her to hang up any time soon, so he began to tell her about his day.

"We got the extra day to follow leads, and it was very productive. A Virginia detective offered to pool resources and share information, and late this afternoon, not only was the security guard in custody, but he confessed. Bud and I just got in from dinner a little while ago."

"Sounds like you had quite a day. It also seems as if your team earned it, so I hope you paid for dinner," Mac stated.

"I did."

"You want to practice your speech on me for court tomorrow?" Mac asked.

"That isn't really what I want to practice on you."

Mac giggled like a teenaged girl. "Last night wasn't that long ago, so I happen to know that you don't need practice. So start talking, Flyboy. Tell me how you solved the case and what you know about the guard and his confession."

Harm gave her a rundown on what had happened during the investigation throughout the day, including the news that, a few months ago, Charles Owens had legally changed his name to Charles Owen Reed and concluded with Detective Sanchez being able to get a search warrant with the information that they'd uncovered.

"So Charles blamed his father's strippers for his parents' divorce and for the abusive marriage that his mother was in when she died," Mac said, seeking confirmation that she understood the information that she'd just been given.

"Correct...and Charles might not have snapped if, on his third work assignment at his new job as a security guard, he hadn't been assigned to work security for a mud wrestling event at a strip club. Three days later, the first body was found. In his confession, the first three murders happened pretty much the same way. He'd work at a club during which he'd get an idea of what time the dancers came and went and, several days later, he'd return. He'd wait outside the club in uniform and, because he'd worked there a few days prior, the girls assumed that he was on duty, though it was his day off. He'd pick a brunette, like his father's second wife, and he'd offer to walk her to her car and, when she turned her back to unlock or open the door, he'd slip up close behind her and cut her throat. Then he'd move the body to another parking lot or into an alley after diluting any blood on the ground with water, booze and urine, causing a big wet spot on the ground, but no one would think that it was blood. At most, they'd think that it was some drunk who couldn't hold it."

"Okay, that works for the first three murders, but what about Ensign Rodgers?" Mac inquired.

"Ensign Rodgers had left my client and run over something in the road that caused her tire to go flat after a few blocks. Reed had clocked out of the Wild Waves and was leaving for the night. He saw her getting out of her car to check the tire. He offered to help her change the tire and, when she turned her back to get the keys from the ignition to open the trunk, he moved in to cut her throat. However, she turned at the last minute and attempted to fight him off. Eventually, she either tires or he simply overpowers her and he's able to cut her throat, but he hears something and goes out to the end of the alley to check to see if someone's coming. That's when Mrs. Weathers must have seen him. Being seen spooked him, and he left the body where he'd killed her. He figured that the police would come to the conclusion that it was the stripper killer, but, since he wasn't a suspect, he didn't think that he had anything to worry about."

"Why did he go after Ensign Rodgers? Why didn't he follow his previous MO?"

"Just after midnight, his father had been kicked out of the Wild Waves Club for being drunk and getting too friendly with the girls. Reed said that he'd asked his father if he wanted him to call a cab. His father refused the offer in what I understand wasn't a very kind way. Reed said that he was just inches from his father's face when he told him that he didn't have to take a cab, but he had to leave the premises, and his father didn't recognize him. It set him off and, by the time he'd clocked out, he was having trouble holding in his anger any longer. That's when he saw a pretty brunette with a flat tire. When he asked where she'd come from, she'd said 'from down the street a few blocks.' Reed assumed that, because of the way she was dressed, she meant one of the strip clubs down the road."

"There hasn't been another murder, so what made him stop?"

"We don't think he stopped. It may have been a lack of opportunity. He was assigned to a permanent post at an auto salvage yard the Monday after Tina Rodgers was murdered. His shift was from 2200 to 0600, Wednesday through Sunday, which made it hard for him to scout out a victim, or maybe the change in environment suppressed his urge. It also may have helped that, by this time, he knew that his last kill had been discovered and felt that he needed to lay low for awhile after reading in the paper that a witness had seen a man in uniform near the scene of Ensign Rodgers' murder and that the man was wanted for questioning."

"I'm surprised that he confessed," Mac said.

"He may have decided that there was no reason not to. When they searched his house, they found the murder weapon. He hadn't disposed of the weapon, and that's an indicator that he was planning to kill again. I was told, as it is with most serial killers, that Reed had collected trophies. In his closet, he'd put up a wall of hooks. The purse or wallet from each of the four victims were hanging there with their ID's and cash still inside. The fact that he'd hung more hooks than were being used is another sign that he'd planned to kill again."

"Sounds like you've done a public service by getting him off the streets and cleared your client in the process." Mac paused. "We've been on the phone for awhile, so I'd better let you get some rest so you aren't yawning through your big moment in court tomorrow. There's some leftover take-out and the instant coffee in the refrigerator at the apartment. I heard that coffee keeps better in the refrigerator, but I left you a reminder to make sure that the food is thrown away before you leave DC."

"I'll take care of the refrigerator. I know that I'll be here in Norfolk for part of the day tomorrow, but it won't be until after we fill in Cresswell that I'll find out when I'm headed back to London."

"You let me know when you get back."

"I will...and Mac, send any mail to my office. With my flight quals coming up and the move, I'll feel better if my mail comes to the office. I mean, if Children's Services sends me anything about Tyler's adoption, I don't want it floating around or getting lost. If things are sent to my office, it should be forwarded to me without too much delay."

"I love you," she said. He really sounded like he was behind the idea of adopting Tyler now, and she was glad of that.

"And I love you," he replied, knowing that it was time to hang up, but not wanting to.

"Bye," she said, not really wanting to hang up, but knowing that he needed to get some sleep.

"Bye." With that, he flipped his phone closed and put it on the bedside table.

He grumbled as he moved to different positions, trying to get comfortable, and he finally found one after several attempts and drifted to sleep.

As he slept, his dreams wouldn't be about clearing his client. No, they'd be about the life that he and Mac could have once they were given the chance to live their lives together in the same place.

In the dream, which he'd remember when he woke, he and Mac were walking along the water's edge at the beach, their clasped hands hanging between them while, from a few feet in front of them, came a young boy's voice.

"Bet you two can't catch me," Tyler challenged his parents.

Harm kept his eyes on his son as he retorted, "I don't think that Mac should even try, but I can catch you." After responding to the challenge, he looked at Mac for permission to leave her side.

She smiled at him. "You should go catch him while you can." He looked puzzled, so she continued, "In a few months, we'll have other things to do and won't be coming to the beach so often," she said, smoothing her sundress over her rounded belly to emphasize the reason. "Besides, one of these days, he'll be faster than you are," she teased. "So go."

He kissed her cheek, released her hand and sprinted up the beach, catching Tyler and scooping him up into his arms. Tyler had been 'caught' by his dad.

The child's laughter filled the air as his feet left the sand, bringing satisfied smiles to his parents' faces.


	61. Chapter 61

**EPILOGUE - Little Details**

**FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2006**

Harm woke with a smile that would quickly fade when he realized that it had been only a dream.

It was amazing to him how a few days with her had invoked such a strong desire in him not only to be with her, but to have a family and live a life together.

He muttered as he got out of bed, "I cut it close, but thank God I didn't let her get away."

By the time he met Bud for breakfast, Harm had shaken off or at least buried his lonely feelings from earlier this morning and was focused on wrapping up the case.

It felt more like a briefing than a trial as Harm filled in Judge Sebring and the prosecution on the confession and supporting evidence in the case.

By mid morning, Harm and Bud were on their way to meet with General Cresswell. During that meeting, General Cresswell asked Harm if he had any objections to letting Commander Roberts finish up the paperwork on the Stanton case so that he could get back to London to be sure that the relocation plan was on schedule. Harm had no objections, and so it was done. Bud would take over from here, and Harm would be returning to London. Bud was dismissed from the meeting when Senator Proxmeyer arrived.

Once Bud was out of the room, the Senator spoke. "You did an outstanding job, and I wanted to offer my thanks in person, Captain. Very seldom does a man's press match the reality of the man, but in your case, I'm not sure that your press does you justice."

"Thank you, ma'am, but are you aware that not all of the charges were dismissed?" Harm asked.

"Yes, Captain, I am. I believe that my nephew said that he'd be getting a letter of reprimand."

"Yes, ma'am, the convening authority felt that the use of his uniform for the express purpose of picking up a woman was conduct unbecoming an officer, that it showed the military in a bad light and deserved some type of punishment." Harm didn't want to discuss the matter of her nephew having sex in the back seat of a car, so he skipped that part of the convening authority's statement.

"For him, I hope that the reprimand and this experience will drive home the need to make one's choices carefully and that even some of what we think of as harmless choices can have disastrous consequences. Thinking things through before making a decision is always wise." She looked to General Cresswell and then back to Harm. "If you ever think that the Navy doesn't appreciate you, give me a call. You have my number. My husband would love to have you at his firm." She paused for a moment. "Your SecNav told me that my nephew's problems came at a bad time, that I was taking you away from an important project in London. Good luck with your move to Naples, and thank you again." She extended her hand to shake his.

Harm shook her hand. "Your welcome, ma'am, but it's my job, so your thanks aren't necessary."

Harm wasn't going to ask, but then again, he had to know. "Ma'am, I have to ask. Why didn't your husband or one of the associates in his firm defend your nephew?"

"My husband wanted to take the case, but just as a doctor shouldn't operate on a family member, neither should a lawyer act as defense counsel for a family member whose sentence could include the death penalty.

"I called our dear old friend, now the Secretary of the Navy, for advice, and he said that he'd be in a better position to keep an eye on the case if it were being handled by the JAG office, so I agreed to let him make the change if he could. My husband had reviewed the case, and he didn't think that it should have gone to trial in any court. After the Article 32 hearing resulted in calling for a court martial, my husband wished that he'd taken the case in the first place, but now that the case was in a military court, he said that Eric needed someone who was a 'top gun' in the field of military courtroom procedure. I polled a few people whom I know in the military and a few people in congress, and your name kept coming up, Captain, and when I got Mr. Sheffield to give me a copy of your service record, I knew that you were the lawyer that my nephew needed, and now we know that I was right."

After she'd finished her explanation, she turned to General Cresswell, offering him her hand. "I've taken enough of your time. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter as well, General, so thanks to you, too."

Cresswell shook her hand and replied, "We're glad to have been able to be of assistance, Senator."

After Senator Proxmeyer left, the general's yeoman entered with confirmed travel arrangements for Captain Rabb.

Harm was glad to see that his flight to London wasn't leaving until tomorrow evening.

After being dismissed from Cresswell's office, Harm called Ms. LeMoine to see if he could come by to pay Tyler a visit in the morning. After getting off the phone with Ms. LeMoine, Harm made his way to Bud's office to assist him in any way possible before he left. While finishing up for the day, Bud volunteered to drive Harm from the storage facility where he stored his car to the airport.

On the way to the apartment after leaving JAG, the thought of spending the night in the apartment and sleeping in the bed that he'd so recently shared with Mac wasn't an appealing idea. Most people worked in DC, but lived in Virginia so, when he traveled, he was usually on the lesser traveled path, but not tonight. Traffic was very heavy on his way towards Union Station.

By the time he reached the apartment, he'd decided that he'd eat dinner in town, leave for Blacksburg after dinner and spend the night in a hotel there. The traffic should've died down by the time he'd had dinner, and he'd have a less congested drive to Blacksburg to take a certain little boy for a ride in his car tomorrow.

Before leaving the apartment, Harm made sure that the refrigerator was cleaned out and that he remembered to take out the trash, per the reminder list from Mac that he'd found on the breakfast bar .

**SATURDAY, JANUARY 21, 2006**

Harm woke feeling surprisingly rested for all he felt that he'd been through in the last few days. A hotel room for the night had been a good choice.

Harm found that he was excited to see Tyler as he neared the Potter home. The excitement changed to a feeling of panic when he pulled onto the street where the Potter home was located. They were going to have only a couple of hours together, but he hadn't thought of anything to do with him except to go for a ride in his car.

**MEANWHILE, IN THE POTTER HOME**

Miss Nancy had said that Miss Donna had called yesterday and that Harm was coming to see him. Tyler had gotten up early, gotten dressed, eaten breakfast, brushed his teeth, and Harm wasn't there yet. He was asking Miss Nancy about every twenty seconds what time it was, and Miss Nancy was trying not to lose her patience, but he was grating on her nerves.

Mrs. Potter may not have been as happy as Tyler, but she was pretty happy when Tyler turned for what she thought was going to be the dreaded question again, but saw a grin on his face instead. "He's here. Harm's here." Tyler looked back out the window to see the tall man get out of his car and make his way up the walk. Tyler flew to the door to greet him.

Harm asked if there was something that Tyler wanted to do, and it didn't take Tyler long to decide that he wanted to go to the park and play catch, swing in the swings and slide on the slide and… Miss Nancy cut Tyler off saying that he wasn't going to have time to do any of it if they didn't get moving. Tyler got a ball and glove from the garage, and they left for the park.

Harm made one stop at a drug store along the way. He told Tyler that it was for a present for Mac.

Harm had Tyler back in time for lunch at the Potter house. Tyler gave Harm a big hug goodbye before he left. When Harm was about to pull away from the curb, he looked towards the house to see Tyler at the window with his bears in front of him, one arm wrapped around them and the other waving frantically. Harm stopped, rolled down his car window, extended his arm above the top of the car and waved back before he pulled away from the curb.

Harm returned to the drugstore where he'd stopped a few hours before to buy a disposable camera and dropped it off at the one-hour developing counter. He left the store, went to lunch and returned for his pictures a little more than an hour later.

Harm was full of pride and joy when the young lady with whom he'd left the camera handed him his packet of pictures and told him, "Your son is very cute." Harm didn't take the time to look at the pictures in the store. He knew that at least some of them had come out by the clerk's comment, and Harm's priority now was to arrive at the airport in time to catch his flight.

After leaving the drug store, it was off to Bud and Harriet's as quickly as possible. Bud hadn't been sure that he could find the storage place without Harm since he'd been there only once, so Bud was going to follow Harm. They took time outside Bud's home to move Harm's things over to Bud's car.

Once the car was safely back in storage, it was off to the airport. Harm told Bud that just dropping him off at the airport would be fine and, as they neared the airport, the car was filled with an awkward silence.

Finally, Bud spoke. "Sir, I want you to know that it was a pleasure to work with you again."

"I was going to say the same thing...and no matter what anyone else says, you and I just proved that we were and still are the 'dream team'."

Bud's chest inflated with pride. "Yes, sir," he said, and then his silly grin appeared. "We did, didn't we?"

"Yes, Bud, we did."

Bud's smile faded as they neared the drop-off point. Harm got out of the car and extended his hand back inside the car to shake Bud's hand. "Good job, Commander. Maybe we'll have a chance to do this again someday, but next time, it'll be my turn to sit second chair."

"Thank you, sir," Bud said before Harm closed the car door.

Bud knew his mentor well enough to know that what Harm had said was his way of telling him that he thought that Bud could've handled the case without him, causing Bud's level of pride to go up a couple of notches as he watched Harm disappear into the terminal.

Harm checked in for his flight before settling into a chair and, while waiting to board, he made his weekly Saturday call to Mattie and Mac.

When he got off the phone, he shook his head. He'd called to talk to them, but both of them had wanted to talk about Tyler. Mac had said that she and Mattie hadn't hung up from speaking with Tyler more than ten minutes before Harm had called. Mac said that Tyler had filled her in on his and Harm's morning outing and then she reviewed the visit with Harm. Harm guessed that it was to make sure that she'd gotten all the details. When Mattie got on the phone, she talked about how great it was that they were going to adopt Tyler and how happy she was for him.

Harm boarded the plane and, once the plane had reached cruising altitude, he pulled out the packet of pictures that he'd taken of Tyler and looked through them. By the time his plane had landed, he'd admitted to himself that the pictures weren't just for Mac, but they were for him, too.

When Harm got to his London apartment, he was tired since he hadn't been able to sleep on the plane. Every time he'd put away the pictures and tried to sleep, a few minutes later, he'd be looking at the pictures again.

Harm decided to unpack before trying to get to sleep, but before he pulled even one thing out of his bag, he pulled out the pictures once more. This time, he picked his favorite one of Tyler and leaned it against the two framed pictures that were already on his bedside table: one a wedding photo of Mac and him, the other one of Mattie.

After having had that dream on Thursday night, Harm got into bed, closed his eyes and said a little prayer.

He'd just have to keep saying this prayer that they wouldn't have to do this for another year...and hope that someone was listening.


	62. Chapter 62

**CHAPTER EIGHT - Love is in the Air**

**Part One – Mail Call **

**FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO **

It's been three weeks since I returned to San Diego after my all too brief stay with Harm in Washington. Though we had our first fight, I'm feeling more assured that our marriage will work.

If he starts to close himself off again, I'm confidant that I'll be able to tell him that I'm feeling left out without causing an argument and get us back on track. This new confidence in our relationship has oddly given me a boost in my own self-confidence.

However, neither my confidence in our relationship nor in myself is doing me any good at the moment. The JAG conference is going to be held in San Diego again this year during the first week of April. I was informed this morning that I'm to speak on the advantages of the JSL program.

Sitting at my desk this morning, I'm hard put to find anything positive to say. If I hadn't been the one slated to run this office, chances are that my request to leave the Corps would've been approved and I'd be with Harm now or marking off the last few days on the calendar before joining him.

I have to take a moment to scold myself. I don't know for certain that my resignation would've been approved if not for this position. It was a great moment in my career, and I won't deny the pride I felt when I was selected to head this office.

The words echoing in my head at the moment are, 'I've worked hard to overcome the choices that were made for me and correct the bad choices that I've made along the way. Why can't I have all the good things as a reward - the career, the man, the family, and lots and lots of comfortable shoes?'

I look down at the blank sheet of paper on my desk. I haven't written a single sentence or, for that matter, a single word. It's a good thing that the conference is almost two months away. I'm going to need the time. Since my return from DC, I've felt like I'm moving in slow motion while those around me are moving at normal speed.

Mattie's doctor's appointment was the week after my return. As we left her school for the doctor's office, Mattie voiced concern that the doctor would say that she couldn't have her driver's license or put some kind of restriction on her that would keep her from going to the upcoming Winter Formal/Valentine's Day dance.

Mattie was still emailing Kevin in Virginia, but Paul had caught her attention in a class that she'd started in January when she'd returned to school after Christmas. Mattie was hopeful that Paul would ask her to the dance.

The doctor had told us that Mattie was doing well. He estimated her to be 98 percent recovered. He imposed no restrictions and said that her next appointment should be made for six months from now. I was happy that Mattie was healthy, but part of me knew that this was the start of Mattie making her own decisions and finding her own way in the world. Though it's been only since Christmas that we started to bond in a mother and daughter way, I feel a sense of loss just the same.

I smile at the memory of last weekend's search for the perfect dress. The Friday after her doctor's appointment, Paul asked Mattie to go to the dance with him. Mattie was so excited. I was less excited, but eager to meet the young man. If I'm having this much trouble, I can't image how Harm is doing since, not only is his daughter going on a date, but he won't be here to meet the boy and give him his fatherly, intimidating stare.

The miles between Harm and me make it hard to keep the lines of communication open. He hasn't missed any Saturday calls, but the emails have become sporadic. Given what he's said when he calls, I don't see the lack of emails as a sign that he's closing himself off, just a sign of how busy he is. This past Saturday, our call was very short. Harm was calling from an aircraft carrier. I was thrilled to get his email on Monday, saying that he'd completed his quals and was back in London. With his move to Naples beginning on the 27th of this month, I don't see his schedule easing in the near future.

A knock on my door forces me to bring my mind back to work. "Enter."

It was Petty Officer Coates. I'm relieved that she needed only my signature on a requisition form because I don't seem to be able to get any work done today as I look back down at the still blank sheet of paper on my desk. A check of my internal clock tells me that it's only 1115, too early for lunch, but I need to get out of the office for a little while. I decide to go to the condo. I'll take off my shoes, put my feet up on the coffee table and relax a bit before returning to finish the day. An advantage of being in charge is that no one questions you if you leave early for lunch.

Unlike my apartment in Georgetown where the mailboxes were located inside the lobby, the mailboxes here are housed in a big metal box near the street where you make the turn into the parking area for our building. When I see the structure this afternoon, I'm suddenly drawn to it like a moth to a flame…I have to get the mail and I have to do it now.

I unlock the door and step inside the quiet condo. Usually when I get home at the end of the day, Mattie's already home and, no matter what she's doing, there's noise, whether it's in the form of music or the television. I slip off my shoes and move towards the couch.

I put my feet up as I'd planned and start to sort through the mail. The first piece, a credit card offer, I quickly throw on the couch for disposal later. The next envelope's address label is facing down and, when I flip it over, I see that the writing on the next envelope is addressed in a familiar handwriting. I try not to get too excited at the sight of the familiar script, and flip over the small envelope in my hand. The small envelope has my name printed in large letters and appears to be written by a child. A child…which one do I open first, the one from Harm or the one from Tyler?

I think quickly. How much can a six year old have to say? I rest the other three envelopes in my lap, open Tyler's letter and pull out the folded piece of notebook paper that he's used.

Dear Mac,

The new boy makes fun of me cuz I sleep with my bears. Miss Nancy tried to explane why but he don't listen. I hope I get to live with you soon.

Ty

I smile at the simple lines with misspelled words and poor grammar because they're words from Tyler…from my little boy.

I start another stack of mail that's for me to keep and put it beside me on the couch. I pull Harm's envelope off the top of the pile and, under it, I find another letter from Tyler, but this one is addressed to Mattie. I place her letter on top of Tyler's letter to me so that she can read them both tonight.

When I move Mattie's letter, I uncover the last piece of mail from today, a business-sized envelope from the Commonwealth of Virginia. Now I'm torn between opening Harm's letter and opening an envelope that should be news about Tyler's adoption.

I opt to open the letter from Virginia. If it's bad news, the letter from Harm will help restore my spirits. I read the letter and glance at the other pages. I see why some people don't want to adopt after reading the letter. What should be simple is laced with complicated legal jargon that would make the average person want to scream. Thank God I've gone to law school and I'm not intimidated by the wording. I read the letter again to be certain that I hadn't missed any of the points the first time and then I put that letter aside, too. When Harm calls tomorrow, we'll discuss it.

It's time for me to open Harm's letter. We've communicated by telephone and by email, but this is the first letter that he's ever sent me. I take note of the postmark, January 24, 2006. He mailed it a few days after his return to London. As I begin to turn the envelope to reveal the sealing flap, I notice the notation in the bottom left hand corner, 'photos enclosed.'

After reading the notation, I quickly pull on a piece of the flap that isn't securely glued down until I have access to the contents of the envelope. I pull out a folded piece of paper and unfold it so that I can grab the pictures before they fall out.

I recognize the face looking up at me from the top of the stack. It's Tyler. I stare at the photo for a moment before I look over each of the six pictures like I'll have to take a test about what I see when I'm finished. After I've carefully studied all the photos, I'm ready to read the note that Harm's enclosed.

Dear Mac,

I thought you'd like some of the pictures that I took of Tyler at the park the morning before I left Washington. There are a few more, but I kept them. You'll have the real thing with you soon. Tyler took several of me, but I'm mailing them to him.

Know that my heart is with you and that I'm longing for the day when I can reach for you, and letters or words won't be necessary for you to know that I love you.

Miss you much,

Harm

How can such a short note from him bring forth such emotion from me? His first lines and the pictures are reassuring that our quest for Tyler will be completed. The last lines are sweet and tender, and leave me feeling special and loved.

Damn my internal clock for breaking through my moment to alert me that I need to head back to the office. I return to the office, feeling much lighter and knowing that I'll be starving by dinnertime. So, tonight, dinner will be something that I pick up on the way home.

I finish out the day and make a little progress on my lecture for the JAG conference.

We dine on take-out, and Mattie lets me read her letter from Tyler, and I let her read mine. We talk about the letter that came from Virginia and how they'll want to speak with her. We aren't on the subject of Tyler long before she switches to the topic of Paul and the dance.

**SAME DAY **

**LONDON **

Since defending Lt. Stanton, I've spent more time in a plane than in my apartment. I was back long enough to mail a couple of letters and do some damage control at the office before I was sent to Naples.

A snafu at some level threatened to derail the plans for relocation. Commander Manetti and I flew over and, though it took a week, we were able to resolve the issues and return to London.

I got back from Naples and had time to spend a day in the office before I was off to a carrier to do my flight qualifications. I have to say that, no matter what else is going on in my life, there's still something about being in the cockpit of a fighter plane that makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. In the cockpit, you're in control, yet you have a sense of freedom. It's... so many things. I think it was in the motorcycle shop when I rented that bike to go to Blacksburg that I saw a shirt for sale there that could explain it best. Of course, since it was talking about riding motorcycles, you'd have to substitute the word 'ride' with 'fly.' The shirt read: 'I could explain why I ride, but if you have to ask, you wouldn't understand the answer.'

I haven't missed a Saturday call, but I must say that I'm out of the email habit. The first couple of days, I managed to email, but when I was sent to Naples, I didn't keep it up. I'm so far behind now that I'm not sure that I'll ever catch up. On the carrier, I was there to fly and, with the current state of my office, I needed to get the job done and get back, so I flew every chance I got. I didn't read any emails and sent only one.

I got back from the carrier on Monday and dashed off a one or two line email to each of them that said that I was back on land. I read the first couple from each of them, dating back to when I was in Naples, but they were old news about Mattie's doctor's appointment and other things that I'd heard about from our phone call that weekend, so I decided to call it a night and go to bed.

My schedule probably isn't going to ease up anytime soon because I'll be starting the 'behind the scenes' prep work for the move to Naples on Monday. The first week of my four week plan begins on the 27th. The only good thing about my hectic schedule is that I've been too busy to really think about how much I miss 'my girls'.

After I'd read the rest of my emails this afternoon, I was sorry that I hadn't taken the time to read them sooner. Mattie has a date with an eighteen-year-old senior. Mattie's email says that Mac will meet Paul when he comes to pick her up for the dance on...hey, wait...that's tomorrow night. I know that Mattie's seventeen, but this is happening too fast for me. I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach.

I hope that Mac answers the door in uniform with an M-16 slung over her shoulder. While Paul waits for Mattie, Mac can strip down her weapon and put it back together so that he knows that she isn't just carrying it for show - she knows how to use it. If he doesn't run in fear ... wait... To an eighteen-year-old male, a woman who can field-strip a weapon and looks like Mac might give him ideas, and then he'll be in the car with my daughter, all hot and bothered. No, having Mac do that isn't as good an idea as it sounded at first. I should be there...meeting a date is one of those things a dad needs to do.

I start to write a reply to Mattie's news, but I need to think about it before I respond. I wonder if I'll handle Tyler's first date any differently...and if I do, will it be because I've had longer to get used to the idea because I've already been through it with Mattie or because he's a boy?

I move through the rest of my day in a haze. My email awakening that Mattie's growing up and will soon be eighteen and on her own will take me awhile to work through. I'm so looking forward to getting to my apartment and having a drink.

I take a couple of sips of my cold beer after I sit and get comfortable on the couch. I sit there, trying to form the words in my head for an email to either one of them. This isn't my usual after-work routine, but tonight, I'm feeling a little down and I need this selfish indulgence. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I'll get up, take a run and eat a good breakfast before going to the office.

Hopefully, by the time I call them, I'll have absorbed this new information and be able to refrain from yelling into the phone: 'Mac, lock her in a room and shoot the boy on sight.'

After almost finishing a second beer, I lay back on the couch. I'm not getting into our bed without Mac tonight. I hope that I'll wake in the morning and find out that I've had a bad dream or that it was an hallucination because I ate bad tuna or something.


	63. Chapter 63

**PART TWO – Day of the Dance **

**SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO**

The teenage drama started when Mattie came down for breakfast. Last weekend, when we'd gone shopping, my thought had been that her low heeled, black shoes would work with the dress that she'd picked out.

This morning, Mattie informed me that she needed new shoes to wear because the black shoes that I'd suggested don't look right with her dress. It wasn't until Mattie tried on the dress and shoes together and modeled them for me that I agreed that the shoes just didn't fit the look of the dress. I have the perfect shoes to go with her dress, unfortunately, they're my shoes, and she and I don't wear the same size.

We have to wait for the stores to open, but as soon as it's ten o'clock, we're on our way to the mall.

Upon our return, Mattie rushes through the door and up the stairs. A few minutes later, she yells down, "The new shoes are much better."

I haven't heard another word or seen her in thirty-seven minutes. I looked through the mail and found several sale ads and other junk mail along with the electric bill, but nothing from Tyler or Harm, so I moved on to some house work. I'm trying not to pay attention to the time because I'm trying not to think about Mattie's date.

My house cleaning has made me hungry for lunch or at least a snack. I go to the kitchen to make a couple of sandwiches and, after I make the sandwiches, I head upstairs to Mattie's room to check on her and get her to eat something.

After we finish our sandwiches, Mattie asks me to help her make her final selection of accessories. She's excited, and nothing is looking right to her. I offer her my small gold hoop earrings and a clutch of mine to go with her outfit. She has an appointment to get her hair done in forty-five minutes so it's time for her to shower.

I come down from Mattie's room, having left her to shower. After taking our lunch plates to the kitchen, I come out and collapse on the couch. It's early afternoon, but I feel ready for bed.

I've just gotten comfortable when the phone rings, but I manage to get myself up and to the phone by the third ring.

"Hello."

Harm was glad that Mac had answered. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say to Mattie. "Hey, how are things there?"

I was feeling tired, but the sound of his voice brings my energy level up. "Not bad, but Mattie's in the shower, so you'll have to talk to me first."

"Isn't it around 1400 there? Why is she in the shower?"

"You've got a lot to learn about girls. You shower before you get your hair done so the steam doesn't cause your hair to frizz." As I speak, I realize that he might not want to hear the details of Mattie's date preparations and then it dawns on me that, if he hasn't been sending email, perhaps he hasn't been reading any either and might not know about her date. "Have you been able to read your email?" I ask, hoping that I'm not going to be the one who has to fill him in.

"I know about the dance tonight, if that's what you're asking."

"How are you handling the news?"

"Caught me my surprise, but I'm better today. It helped that I had to put a day in at the office today, so I haven't had time to really think about it in depth."

"She is seventeen. You had to know that this was coming."

"But I haven't _had_ her for seventeen years," Harm said in a remorseful tone.

Suddenly, the fact that he'd said that he'd worked today hit her, causing her to ask, "Why were you working on a Saturday?"

He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm still trying to catch up on work that piled up because I've been gone so much. I've also had to start on things having to do with the relocation because I can't afford to get behind on that."

"If it helps, Tyler won't be old enough to date for a long time."

"That's if we get Tyler soon. Did you hear anything?" he asked.

"I got some papers in the mail yesterday. We've passed through the application process. Among the papers is a request for the names of friends and family who might be able to speak to our suitability as parents. There's also a letter of notification that Virginia has requested the assistance of the local California office for children's services to inspect where Tyler will be living."

"I guess that, when I get off the phone with you, it's time for me to call my parents and tell them what we're up to."

"Are you sure that _you_ want to tell them? Adopting him was more my idea. I can tell them on Wednesday when we go to dinner this week."

"I'm sure that you'll get your share of questions on Wednesday, but if I tell them first, they'll understand from the start that I want him, too."

Harm and I discuss the names of people who we want to list as our references. Harm agrees that Harriet and Bud are excellent choices and asks if he should call them, too. I have to tell him that they already know. When he asks, how? I have to tell him about my phone call to Harriet a few days ago after I'd finished making travel arrangements for myself and Mattie.

*********FLASHBACK*********

"Roberts Residence."

"Harriet, it's Mac. I'm calling to let you know that Mattie and I will be in town over the President's Day weekend and I wanted to ask if you might be able to meet us for lunch one day."

"Of course, I'll meet you for lunch. Call me when you get into town and we'll set a definite time. Saturday might be best for me, but I don't know if that works with your schedule. It's funny that Bud didn't mention that you were coming to town."

"Bud doesn't know, Harriet. I'm not coming for business. Mattie and I are coming to spend some time with the little boy who Harm and I hope to adopt."

********END FLASHBACK********

I tell Harm that Harriet had been speechless for a few seconds and then she'd been happy for us and asked all kinds of questions about Tyler.

I call upstairs to Mattie to tell her that Harm's on the phone, but get no answer. I tell Harm about getting Tyler's letter, and his sweet note and pictures as I climb the stairs to tell Mattie that Harm's on the phone. After I confirm that Mattie's out of the shower and in her room, Harm and I say our goodbyes, and I turn the phone over to Mattie.

As I listen to Mattie speak so excitedly about her date, I wonder, if reading emails about it affected him, is he going to have a meltdown at hearing the details?

Mattie stays on the phone long enough to give him all the details of her new dress, shoes and date before telling him that she has to go get her hair done and needs to get off the phone. I'm thankful that she ends the call the way she does. "I need to go. I love you. Bye, Harm."

With the phone call ended, we leave for the salon and her hair appointment. At the salon, she opts to have her long locks of hair put up. We return to the condo ninety-seven minutes later, and Mattie flees to her room, saying as she goes, "Paul's picking me up at six so we can go to dinner first."

I plop myself down on the couch and note the time. If he's on time, he'll be here in fifty-four minutes.

With forty-nine minutes to go, I hear: "Mac, I need your help. Come up here, please."

Mattie's changed out of her comfy clothes that she wore to get her hair done and has on a robe. She wants to know how to get dressed right. I'm slightly confused, and she's frustrated that I don't know what she's talking about at first. What she wants to know is, should she put on her dress and then her makeup or vice versa? After I dispense my advice on the order to get dressed for a formal occasion, I leave her to get ready.

My descent down the stairs is called off about halfway down by the call of my teenager in distress. This time, she asks me to help her put on her makeup. I'm curious as to why the normally very independent young woman in front of me is suddenly so needy, but, as she reaches for her makeup bag, I see that her hand is shaking.

I take the bag from her and get temporarily lost in thought. When I was her age, I wasn't sober enough to feel nervous or feel anything else, for that matter. I'm able to snap myself out of my thoughts, but the memories of that time of my life prompt me to talk to her about the possibility of the punch being spiked. Should I give her the sex talk, too? I stop to consider that this is only the first time that they've gone out, but I want her to know that it's okay for her to say no.

The talk about drinking and spiked punch goes easily while I'm applying her makeup. It's hard for me to bring up the 'sex talk,' but after I've finished putting on her makeup, she and I sit on the edge of the bed. I begin with, "There's another reason why you should call me to come to get you besides if he drinks and wants to drive or if he's pressuring you to drink."

Mattie sees the topic coming and helps me get to the point. "Mac, if he pressures me for sex, I'll call you, too."

I'm relieved that I don't have to go into detail for her to know that I'm here for her if she needs me. With her makeup done and the drinking and sex talks out of the way, it's time for me to leave so that she can finish getting ready for her date.

I slowly descend the stairs, wondering if I'll be summoned back, but I reach the couch without hearing anything. Just as I've gotten comfortable on the couch, I once again hear her call my name, so I get up and begin to climb the stairs again. After a quick time check, I smile. If he's on time, there's only nineteen more minutes to go.

I reach Mattie's door and look in to see that she's dressed. The soft green of her dress goes well with her new cream-colored shoes. "Mattie, you look beautiful," I say with a sigh.

"Thank you. Mac, could you help me with one more thing?" she asks sweetly.

I look at her in question, and she holds up her charm bracelet. "Put this on me, please?"

I'm feeling a little emotional all of a sudden. She's never taken off the ring that Harm and I gave her, but she hasn't worn the bracelet that I bought her in England since our fight at Thanksgiving. The fact that she wants to wear it tonight, a night that's so important to her, touches me deeply.

I'm unaware that a tear has escaped and is rolling down my cheek as I fasten the bracelet around her wrist until Mattie says, "If it's going to upset you, I won't wear the bracelet."

"No, it isn't that. I'm glad that you're wearing it." I pull her into a hug. "It's that you look so grown up, and I'm sad that we haven't been close longer."

Our hug comes to an end with the ding dong of the doorbell. I take note that he's fifteen minutes early.

Sooner than I'd like, I'm opening the door, revealing a male with broad shoulders and a nice smile. He stands right at the six foot mark with blonde hair and blue eyes. He's a very handsome young man.

I extend my hand. "Hi, I'm Mac…Mattie's…" I hadn't thought of how I should introduce myself and I'm surprised when he finishes my sentence as he reaches to shake my hand.

"...Mattie's mom. Mattie told me about you, but she didn't say that you were so pretty."

"Thank you," I reply hesitantly, surprised by the fact that she must have referred to me as her mom, at least to him, and also by his compliment. This could've resulted in possible tears if this boy weren't here to take my daughter on a date, and I certainly don't want him to think that I'm influenced by his good looks or charm.

My Marine training keeping me from showing an emotional reaction, I continue, seemingly unaffected, "Mattie didn't tell me much about you. Is there anything that you'd like to tell me?"

"He plays on the school soccer team and he has a 3.7 GPA." We hear this coming from the direction of the stairs, neither one of us sure how long Mattie's been standing there.

Mattie's reluctant to let me take pictures until I mention that it's so that Harm can see how pretty she looks tonight. As I take pictures, I get a few more tidbits from Paul about himself. I take at least a dozen pictures of Mattie, Paul, and Paul giving Mattie a corsage. After I've reminded Mattie and, in so doing, told Paul when I expect Mattie to be home, I've run out of reasonable excuses to keep them here.

Mattie must be sensing my hesitation, because she has Paul walk out first and then turns back to me and says, "Don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll call if I need you." Then she gives me a quick hug and she's out the door, too.

With our daughter out on a date, I turn my attention to the little boy, who I hope to call our son.

I think that filling out the papers that I received yesterday is a constructive way to fill my time as I wait up for Mattie.

I work on the papers for a while before I stop to fix myself something to eat.

After finishing my dinner, I complete the paperwork on Tyler and prepare it for mailing on Monday.

With my primary task finished, I reach for the TV remote and tap the 'on' button. I push the channel button until I stumble onto a movie with an actress in it, who I like, but I quickly change the channel when it becomes obvious that the movie is about her daughter who went out on a date and something happens to her. I can't watch any longer to find out what happens since Mattie's out on a date at this very moment. A few more clicks later, and I give up on my search of something fun to watch. This is one of those times when the slapstick antics of the Three Stooges would be useful. I turn off the TV and go get my briefcase.

"I can use this time wisely and work on my presentation for the JAG conference," I say into the empty room.

I manage to scribble down a few lines between checks of the time. I find it odd that, after every three or four checks of my internal clock, I've found it necessary to look at my watch to make sure that I'm right. My last check of the time has me feeling a little more at ease. There's only an hour left until her curfew is up. I've almost made it through this.

I've managed to write down a few more sentences before my mind drifts to a few hours ago when Mattie was getting ready for her date. I know that my smile must be a mile wide on my face as I think about how much I'd have been like her if I were getting ready for a date with Harm. I'd have wanted the dress, shoes and makeup to be perfect. The more I think about it, maybe it was for the best that Harm and I didn't really date. I might not have survived getting ready for them.

A noise outside the door pulls me from my reverie. I go to the door and look out the peep hole. It's Mattie and Paul. They're back twenty-two minutes before curfew. I hope it's because he wants to make a good impression so that he can take her out again and not because they didn't have a good time.

I take another peek. He's putting his arms around her. I think he's going to kiss her goodnight. If I were Harm, I'd open the door right now and interrupt, but I'm going to wait for her to come in. I see his face moving closer to hers. I don't want to interrupt and I don't want to watch either, so I go back to the couch and sit down.

Three minutes and seventeen seconds later, Mattie comes through the door. "I'm home, Mac."

"Did you have a good time?" I ask with a smile.

"The night was wonderful," she replies with a starry-eyed sigh.

She has the unmistakable look of a girl who's on her way to falling in love. "Are you going to tell me about it?"

Mattie sighs again and starts up the staircase. "Tomorrow...tonight, I just want to dream about it."

After I've waited so patiently, now I have to wait until tomorrow. I don't like it, but I understand.

I'll work on my presentation a little bit longer before I turn in and dream of a certain sailor I know.


	64. Chapter 64

**PART THREE – Cards, Flowers and Candy**

**SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO**

Who would have thought that Mattie's date could be so draining, especially on me? Both Mattie and I seemed to need to recover from her date, so we slept in. Since we didn't get up until 1000, I suggested that we get dressed and go out for brunch.

Over brunch, Mattie filled me in on her 'perfect evening.' She told me where they went to dinner and what they ordered. She described the decorations in the ballroom where the dance was held. She said that there was a photographer there and that Paul had insisted that they get a picture together so they'd have a memento to remember the evening. Mattie continued by telling me that they'd danced to three songs and was able to give me the names of each one. She even included the fact that he'd kissed her goodnight when he'd dropped her off. I don't think that I'd have included that if I'd been telling my mother about a date, but then again, maybe I would have if my mother had been around.

As we go about our day, it doesn't matter what task Mattie does. She moves through the house like she's floating. The distant look in her eyes tells me that, though she's physically present, her mind is still in the clouds.

As it gets later and we prepare for bed, Mattie asks my advice on three outfits before choosing something to wear for school tomorrow when she'll see Paul again.

When I lay my head on the pillow to sleep tonight, I can't keep myself from reflecting on the only time when I needed the perfect dress, shoes and makeup – the day I married Harm.

**MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2006**

**LONDON**

I finish the morning staff meeting and mumble on my way back to my office, 'I might as well have been talking to myself. I know that the closer we get to relocation the worse it will get, but I think that top-notch lawyers ought to be able to pretend to be paying attention to me at least twice a week.'

It's Monday, not one of my favorite days to begin with, and it's started out all wrong. So I lock myself in my office, hoping that I'm not disturbed for the rest of the day. I even decide to work through lunch so that I don't have to leave and return to my office.

My planned solitude works until mid afternoon when Petty Officer Banks knocks on my office door. He turns a bundle of mail over to me and has a 'cat that swallowed the canary' grin on his face. I'm concerned that my yeoman has succumbed to whatever relocation craziness the others have until I flip through the envelopes and see a personal piece of mail to me from a Sarah Rabb. Now I know why my petty officer had that grin on his face. He knew that I had mail from my wife, which meant that my mood was going to improve.

After dismissing my yeoman so that I'm once again alone in my office, I open the envelope and pull out the enclosed valentine. The front of the card says: 'To My dear husband on Valentine's Day.' The inside has a mushy love poem. I secretly like it because it's from her, but that's a tidbit that I'll never confess to anyone. On the inside cover across from the printed poem, she's written a note that says:

You don't strike me as being the flowers and candy kind of guy, so I didn't know what else to get you except for a card to tell you that I love and miss you. I hope that we're together next Valentine's Day because my present would be so much different. To give you an idea, I'd make you forget all about that stripper that you liked so much a few weeks ago.

Love,

Mac

The thought of her stripping on our last night together brings heat to my cheeks. What a night it was! I don't want the card ending up in the wrong hands, so I put it back in the envelope. I'll take it home with me tonight and put it among my personal belongings for packing. As I slip the envelope into my briefcase for safe removal from the office, I wonder if she'll like what I've arranged for her tomorrow.

Petty Officer Banks is correct. My mood improves, and I get a lot of work done. I even manage to get far enough ahead that I don't feel guilty for reading my email and taking the time to email Mattie and Mac before I leave for the day.

I read the card from Mac several times before I'm finally able to get to sleep.

**SAME DAY **

**SAN DIEGO**

Today was one of those days that let's you know why Mondays have such a bad reputation. The only thing that went the way I'd planned was getting the papers about Tyler mailed off to Virginia. To top it all off, I'm getting home an hour late because of an accident on the freeway.

I stop at the mailbox on my way into the condo because I'm hopeful that I'll have mail from Harm or Tyler to give my day a pick me up, but I don't take the time to look through it in the car.

I get into the condo, and Mattie's on the couch, talking on the phone. I've just walked in the door and I hear her say. "She just walked in, so I can ask her now. Do you want to hold on or do you want me to call you back?"

I see her lower the handset from her ear. Whoever it is must be waiting for my answer.

"Mac, Paul's on the phone. He wants to know if he can take me to school tomorrow since tomorrow's Valentine's Day."

When you live so far from your Valentine, the date gets lost, so I hadn't realized that Valentine's Day was tomorrow. I sent a card to Harm about ten days ago to make sure that it got there on time, but I haven't thought about it much since.

"You're supposed to help Trish after school tomorrow. Since Frank will be picking you up, I guess it would be okay for tomorrow."

She lifts the handset back to her ear. "She said that it was okay as long as I help my grandmother after school like I promised."

Having answered her question, she returns to her phone conversation. While she talks, I begin my coming-home-from-work routine and put down my things, change my clothes and go to the kitchen to start dinner.

When I pass back through the living room, Mattie's still on the phone. The look on her face when she told me about the dance yesterday, especially the little twinkle in her eye when she'd shyly told me that he'd kissed her goodnight, causes me to shake my head as I pass behind the couch. I can't believe that I'm watching her experience first love and I'm wondering if I'll survive it.

I manage to pry her away from the phone to eat dinner. During dinner, she starts talking about Paul wanting to take her to a movie this coming weekend, and I have to remind her that we'll be out of town. We leave Friday night for Virginia to spend the President's Day weekend with Tyler. I'm prepared for a fight, but she doesn't offer one. She simply says, "I'll tell Paul in the morning that I can't go this weekend."

Mattie goes to her room after she helps clean up after dinner. She says that she's going up early to do her homework and pick out the right outfit to wear to school in the morning. I image that, since Paul is picking her up and it's Valentine's Day, it'll be a tougher decision than it was for her last night.

I learned my lesson after running up and down the stairs the last two days, giving my assistance and opinions on outfits, so I grab the mail and my briefcase, and head to my room after dinner. I'll work in my room so I don't wear myself out climbing the stairs.

I manage to get out a couple of case status reports before I'm called to her room to give my first opinion. I return to my room and I'm able to read the first report before I'm summoned to her room for outfit number two. I read the other status report and put them back in my briefcase before I'm called for opinion three. I return and pull out my speech for the JAG conference. I didn't work on it at all at the office today. I know that it's still weeks before I have to give it, but at the rate I'm writing it, that won't be enough time. I don't get even one line written on my speech before Mattie appears at my bedroom door for opinion number four.

I've worked on my speech for a few minutes and I've given my opinions on two more outfits when the mail stacked on the bedside table catches my eye. I haven't sorted through it yet. I wonder if I got any mail. I'll have to wait a couple of minutes to find out because Mattie's back for opinion number seven.

Mattie has left, and I begin to flip through the envelopes. I find something from Tyler. I open the envelope to find a smaller envelope inside. I don't get a chance to open the smaller envelope immediately because Mattie appears for an opinion on outfit number eight.

When Mattie leaves, I open the smaller envelope. It's one of those little cards that kids give out at school to their classmates when they're Tyler's age. The card is red with a white heart on it. Inside the heart in red letters it says, "Will you be my Valentine?" Under the heart, he's printed 'Love, Ty.' I love this little boy so much that the simple card and the fact that he sent me a valentine has brought tears to my eyes.

My moment is interrupted by Mattie's return. She has the last outfit and one from earlier. She's narrowed down her choices and, when she leaves my room this time, she says that she's decided what to wear tomorrow.

'I hope that we don't have to go through this every night,' is my thought as I reach for the valentine from Tyler, place it over my heart and say a little prayer that he'll soon be here with me.

As I lean the card against a framed wedding photo on my nightstand, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get a card from the man with me in the picture. I get ready for bed, trying to be rational about not getting a card from Harm.

Harm has shown me a romantic side, but it's been in private. A valentine may be too public a display or perhaps he's just too busy. I have one more excuse for him. He's a man, so maybe he just doesn't know that it's Valentine's Day.

**TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO**

I'm up a little earlier this morning so I'm sure to be dressed when Paul arrives to pick up Mattie. It's a good thing, too, because he's ten minutes early this morning.

I open the door and see the nice looking young man in a pair of dark gray slacks and a button up blue shirt that really helps to bring out the color of his eyes. His hands are behind his back like he might have a Valentine's gift for Mattie. I don't have time to ask him to come in before Mattie's at the door next to me.

Mattie asks him to come in and says that she just has to get her backpack to be ready to go. She's floored when he pulls his hands out from behind his back. In one hand, he has a single red rose and, in the other, a chocolate bar. She's staring at him stunned, but he must be thinking that she doesn't like it or it isn't a grand enough gesture.

He starts to stammer out an explanation while he offers her the dark chocolate candy bar, "You said that you were trying to keep in shape and you were cutting back on snacks, so I didn't buy you anything more than a candy bar."

Mattie's smiling as she takes the candy bar from him, but doesn't speak. His voice is steadier as he hands her the rose. "I'm sorry, but my part-time job doesn't pay enough for me to afford more than one."

Mattie finally realizes that she's hurt his feelings by not speaking and replies. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think that I don't like the gift. I just wasn't expecting anything, and you surprised me." Mattie looks shyly down at the floor. "I bought you a card. It's in my backpack."

I have to say something or they're going to be late for school. "Mattie, I'll put your flower in water for you and your candy bar in the drawer so that you can go upstairs and get your backpack."

Mattie hands the items to me, and I head to the kitchen to put her rose in water. In the kitchen, I slip the candy bar into the drawer and move to get the small vase from under the kitchen sink. I fill the small vase with water, slip the stem into the opening and leave the kitchen. I've decided that the vase should be on the table at the end of the couch so that she can see it when she comes home.

Paul's still in the living room near the door and, as I approach the table, he says, "Mattie said that she forgot to do something for her dad and that she'll be right down. I promise that I'll get her to school on time."

"You drive carefully and get the two of you there safely," I respond as I place the vase on the table. In my head, I'm asking, 'What could she need to do for Harm this morning?'

I hear Paul say, "Yes, ma'am," to my driving instructions just before Mattie reaches us.

"Mac, Harm told me that, if it got here before today, I was supposed to hold onto it and give it to you on Valentine's Day," she says before she offers me an envelope.

He remembered the day and sent me a card, but he made sure that I'd get it on the right day...that's sweet. With her task for Harm completed and Paul waiting, Mattie's off to school, and I'm alone to read my card.

I manage to keep my hands steady as I excitedly open the envelope and pull out the card. The front of the card reads, 'You know what's better than winning the lottery?' I open the card to see the answer, 'Having a wife like you.' I start to close the card and see that he's written something on the inside cover. It reads:

Dear Mac,

I love you. I hope you enjoy your gift and have a wonderful day.

Miss you much,

Harm

I go to the office with a spring in my step that he didn't forget Valentine's Day, but confused about what gift he's talking about. I checked inside the envelope three times for some clue, but there was nothing. Maybe the card was the gift, but a card is a card, not a gift...well, not to me anyway.

General Cresswell called this morning with details for the JAG conference. He suggested - in that ordering way of his - that I have Lt. Graves make the arrangements since she did such a good job last year.

Lt. Graves and I go over the notes that I made while speaking with the general, and I tell her that she can expect a fax from HQ to be waiting when we're finished. It will consist of a list of the names of those attending and those who are confirmed to speak at this time. More information will be sent as it's known. I also tell her that the general is expecting a fax with the location and dates confirmed by the end of the day, Washington time.

I dismiss Lt. Graves, and she leaves. A moment later, there's a knock on my door. "Enter."

When the door opens, I hear, "These just came for you, ma'am," in PO Coates voice, but all I see is a dozen long stemmed red roses arranged with baby's breath in a beautiful crystal vase. "Is over here a good place to put them, Colonel, or would you like them on your desk?" Jennifer asks.

"Desk," I say, staring as the flowers come closer and she sets them on the desk.

With the flowers on the desk, I see the card envelope stuck on one of those plastic sticks in the arrangement, but I hesitate to reach for it with Jennifer still standing in front of my desk. "Was there anything else, Petty Officer?"

"Yes, ma'am..." She lifts a box and sets it on the desk in front of me. "...candy."

In front of me is a pound box of Godiva chocolates. "Thank you, Petty Officer. That'll be all."

"Yes, ma'am."

As soon as my door closes, I reach for the card in the flowers. The card reads:

Surprise, I didn't forget.

This isn't the gift either.

Love, Harm

I exit my office and ask Jennifer if there's anything else and, to my surprise, she pulls an envelope out of her desk and extends her hand to allow me to take it. "He said that I'd know when to give it to you."

I go back into my office and open the envelope that I'd just received from Jennifer. Inside, I find a note:

I know that, between your job, Mattie and wanting Tyler, you're under stress. Since I'm not there to give you a massage, I've arranged for you to have a day at the spa. I hope you enjoy your gift.

Harm

I look at the other piece of paper that was in the envelope. It's a gift certificate to one of the best spas in the country and the one that Harm's mother goes to. I can't believe that he did all this for me. He didn't just buy a card and call a florist, he planned this day.

I want privacy to talk to Harm, so I leave the office early.

Has he been waiting for my call or did the caller ID give away that it's me, because he answers the phone by saying, "Does this call mean that you'll be my Valentine, Mac?"

"Yes, and will you be mine?" I ask seductively.

"Yes," he replies, and I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I called to tell you that this was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had."

"So you think you'll keep me?" he asks.

I hear the smile in his voice, causing the one on my face to grow a little wider.

"I must say that, this morning when Mattie was getting a rose and a candy bar from Paul, I was a little jealous that she'd gone out on one date and was getting something, and you hadn't even sent me a card, but I was in for quite a day, so yeah, I think I'll keep you."

"That _boy_ made Mattie forget to give you your card? I knew that I didn't like him!"

Is that all he heard me say, I wonder?

"She didn't forget, but I didn't get it until after Paul had given her the rose and candy...and what do you mean you don't like him? You've never met him."

"I don't need to meet him. I got the email with the two pictures that you sent, one of Mattie and one with her and that boy standing too close together. I don't like him."

"She'll date him just because you don't want her to if you tell her that. Don't push, Harm."

"Mac, you don't understand -"

I cut him off. "I do understand, Harm, both sides. Who do you think took those pictures? I saw firsthand how grown up she looked. I understand your concern. You don't dislike him. You dislike the fact that he's the first step in Mattie exercising her independence, growing up and doing things that are out of our control. I was a seventeen-year-old girl whose father didn't approve of any boy I was seeing or even my friends, for that matter. He voiced his disapproval loud and clear, and I did just the opposite. You said yourself that mentoring or guiding are better ways to describe our relationship with Mattie than parenting, and if we get her hackles up, she'll ignore us and run off to get married or something. What's worse is that she won't feel as if she can talk to us about anything important because she'll think that we'll judge and not listen."

"I see your point, but I don't have to like him. I just need to be less vocal, at least to Mattie, right?"

"That's right. I didn't call to get you all worked up over Mattie and Paul. I called to tell you that I think you're a wonderful husband." I swear that I hear Harm coo when I said 'wonderful husband.' I won't tease him about it, because I don't think that he'd take it as the good-natured ribbing that I'd mean it to be at the moment.

We talk for a few more minutes and agree before we get off the phone that the only thing that could have made the day better is for us to have been together.

I go to sleep with tears threatening to fall on this Valentine's Day, but they're tears of happiness.

I guess that Mattie won't be the only one walking on air with her head in the clouds around here. Love is in the air, and there isn't anything that we can or want to do to fight it.

Tonight, I'll fall asleep and dream of a perfect Valentine's Day...when my one true love and I are no longer apart.


	65. Chapter 65

**CHAPTER NINE - FULL CIRCLE**

**Part One – Beware the Ides of March **

**Wednesday, March 15, 2006**

I've been in Naples for two full days, and now, in the middle of my third, I'm on a gurney in the emergency room of the Naples Naval Hospital with my leg elevated by a pillow. As I lie here, a line from Julius Caesar is echoing in my head, 'Beware the Ides of March.'

It wasn't work that landed me here, unless you want to say that it was work related because I was running before getting ready for work this morning when the injury occurred. I'd been running, trying to process all that's been happening in the past four weeks and was too distracted to notice that my foot was about to land half on and half off an uneven section of sidewalk. I went down hard, but seemingly uninjured. I cussed as I stood up. I decided that running on unfamiliar sidewalks, even on the base while distracted, wasn't the best idea. I turned around and jogged back to my quarters.

I managed to get through the morning, but by lunchtime, I could hardly walk. My knee was swollen and painful. Commander Manetti said that it was probably nothing, but suggested that I get it checked out this afternoon so that I'd be in top shape for the general's visit and inspection on Monday. Her suggestion came in a tone that told me that, if I didn't go, she'd call my wife, which would result in me going to have it checked anyway, so I decided that I should just save myself a phone call from Mac, pulling rank as my wife and ordering me to have it checked, and reported to sick bay.

In my relocation plan, I'd built in extra time to allow for contingencies - allocating money and time for contingencies was the useful thing that I learned from dating Rene - which we haven't needed, so we're in the middle of the final week of transition, one full week earlier than expected, a feat that has garnered me some recognition and a visit from the current JAG. General Cresswell is coming in to meet with me and inspect the new office on Monday morning.

I've seen the doctor, but he ordered an x-ray, and I'm waiting for my turn in radiology. I lay my head back against the pillow to search for a good reason why things seem to be going from bad to worse. Of course, the search for the answer to that question is really why am I here, but, at least reclined on this gurney, I can't take out the other knee while I'm mulling it over.

Considering the separate way that we live our life, things had been good. Since Mac and I had our argument in mid-January, I've made an effort to get back into the email habit and try to communicate with her more about my half of our life, and they keep me informed about their half, but being informed isn't the same as being there. In the past… I stop to ponder the last couple of 'good news' emails that I got to pinpoint the time frame.

I think of a section from Mac's email on the night of Mattie's dance, February 10th:

Mattie wore the charm bracelet that I gave her to the dance tonight. She hasn't worn it since our fight at Thanksgiving. Not only are we getting along better than before, but we're closer than I could've hoped for.

Then I recall a part of Mattie's email that she wrote to me on Valentine's Day evening:

Mac's been walking around all dreamy-eyed with a silly smile on her face since she got home. When I asked her about it, she said, "Valentine's Day is such a sweet and romantic holiday, isn't it?"

The memories of those emails make me smile and help ease the pain in my swollen knee. The next email I remember is the one that Mac had written two days before they'd left for their trip to Blacksburg.

*********FLASHBACK*********

Wednesday, February 15th, 2006

Dear Harm,

I spoke with Harriet today and asked if we could skip lunch because of the drive, but Harriet is dying to meet Tyler and wouldn't let me off the hook. We've been invited to the Roberts' family dinner on Sunday afternoon. AJ is Tyler's age, so I think he'll like it, but I don't know how Mattie will feel about it. I thought if she really doesn't want to go, I'd let her stay at the hotel while Tyler and I go to Bud and Harriet's. I'll talk to Mattie about it tomorrow.

Mattie helped your mother at the gallery yesterday, and your mother has offered her a job. She'll work a couple hours after school two days a week and half a day on Saturday. She'll work tomorrow and all three days starting Tuesday. No Saturday this week because of our trip. Trish is paying her ten dollars an hour for doing a little receptionist work: answering the phone and some filing. I think it's Trish's way of giving Mattie money without _giving_ it to her. Frank spoils her in his way, too. Whenever he picks her up from school, he always lets her drive. Her new job just gives him an excuse to pick her up more often. Since she's gotten her permit, if he has to pick her up for any reason, he lets her drive to wherever they're going. He says that he lets her drive because she needs to log her 'behind the wheel time' before she can get her license, but that doesn't explain why he always brings his little sporty "cool" car.

Speaking of your parents...tonight was our weekly dinner. Knowing that you'd talked to them on Saturday evening, I was prepared to talk about Tyler and I even remembered to take along the pictures that you sent me. They did ask questions about Tyler, mostly things about what he liked and when his birthday was. They seem to be taking the news about our adopting Tyler pretty well. The thing that your mother asked that wasn't about Tyler was if we wanted children of our own at any point or if we were planning to only adopt. I told them that, though we wanted children of our own, it might not be possible and I explained why. I wasn't sure what they'd say, but they were very supportive. They offered to help in any way they could, including financially for us to have a baby of our own, and then they turned the conversation back to Tyler and what they could do to help us get him. When we told them that the purpose of Mattie's and my trip this weekend was to see Tyler, Frank was ready to book a flight to go with us, but your mother said that she's preparing for a new artist's show next weekend and can't get away. Frank seemed very disappointed, but he wants me to find out if Tyler can come to visit us here soon.

I've sure been long winded tonight, so I'd better cut this off now so that you can get to work.

Love,

Mac

*********END FLASHBACK*********

Though it sounded like my parents did understand that they might not be grandparents to a child of our own, she shouldn't have had to tell them without me there. After reading that email, I wished that the internet could be used to hug someone, because I would've sent one to Mac. I sent my apology for not being there, but it didn't make me feel any better. Another time when I should've been there was to meet Mattie's date. If those two times weren't bad enough, it's worse now. Mac's already attached to Tyler, and if I'm not happy about the way things are, then Mac's hurting badly, and, once again, I'm not where I should be. I'll talk to the general on Monday to see about taking some leave in April.

A young corpsman enters my cubicle and says, "Captain Rabb, I'm here to take you to get your x-ray. Since the doctor doesn't want to risk further injury to that knee, I'm going to wheel you to radiology on the gurney."

As I'm wheeled down the corridor, my mind fast forwards through the Saturday call, wonderful emails and photos that I received from the Presidents' Day Weekend.

While in Blacksburg, Mac had driven Mattie by her house there before picking up Tyler on Saturday morning. Mattie's father had been home, and they'd spoken for a few minutes. Knowing that Tom was still among the living had eased a worry that Mattie had had for many months. By all accounts, Mac, Tyler and Mattie, even though she'd had to miss a second date with Paul, all had a great time.

Aside from the stress of moving the office from London to Naples, it all sounds pretty good until you get to last week, the 7th or 8th of March, when Mac called. She'd heard from Ms. LeMoine and said that a hearing was scheduled for the end of this month, the 28th, when a decision will be made on whether or not to place Tyler in our home on a trial basis to be monitored by the local agency for six months before the adoption can be finalized. Mac said that the problem is a psychologist's report. Mac also told me that, if we don't have a way to counteract it, the adoption process will probably be halted. Ms. LeMoine told Mac that she felt that Tyler belonged with us, and that's the reason why she was 'leaking' the report to us. She wanted us to supply her with any information that could be offered in our defense. If we don't have a defense, we're going to lose Tyler.

After speaking with Tyler, a psychologist submitted a report that was the only strike against us, but one that the committee would take very seriously, according to Ms. LeMoine. The lack of paternal involvement was the doctor's concern. Strong maternal bonds at younger ages aren't uncommon or harmful. However, at Tyler's age, this doctor felt that having only a maternal influence wouldn't be helpful. The report said things such as, 'A part-time dad isn't in the boy's best interest, especially since the visits from the father figure will be sporadic. This type of in and out visitation lacks structure and isn't a stable environment for a young boy.' Another few lines that were quoted to us included, 'The boy might see Mr. Rabb's intermittent visits as an invasion in the sense that he'd feel that Mr. Rabb was invading his home and "stealing" his mother's attention away from him. This could lead to his being unable to see adult men as authority figures as he matures. This problem would manifest itself in conflicts with male role models such as teachers and principals in his teens, and could continue with male workplace supervisors in adulthood.'

All I heard during our conversation at the time was, we aren't going to get Tyler and it's my fault. I then reverted back to my natural pattern. I buried myself in work and, since moving the office was a big project, I had no trouble filling my days and not thinking about the situation at all. Now that the big project is coming to an end and the month is drawing to a close, I realize that I haven't even been trying to think of a plan to get Tyler.

I'm still distracted. I've been moving and adjusting to the positions that the x-ray technician has been putting me in without really knowing what's going on, but as I feel the gurney move, I realize that the corpsman is pushing me back down the corridor.

We reach the cubicle, and he says, "The doctor will come in and give you the findings of the x-ray as soon as he can." Then he pulls that blue/green curtain around so that I can't see anyone.

Alone again, I'm back to my reflections. The end of the month is closing in fast, and I need to deal with the situation, not just for my sake, but for Mac and Tyler's, too.

I guess the first thing I need to decide is why it's taken me this long to begin this analysis. Is it because I don't really want Tyler after all? Is it because I don't want us to start a fight that we may not win, making it harder for everyone in the end? If I was so driven to finish the relocation project that I couldn't or didn't think about this problem sooner, am I ready to be a dad? Mac wasn't crying, but she was upset when she called last week, and I know that she doesn't want to lose him. I guess that leads to another set of questions. If we don't get Tyler, will she blame me? When they wouldn't release her from the Marine Corps, I could have requested retirement. I'd be out by now if I had instead of waiting for an appropriate billet to open up in San Diego, but I wanted to stay in the Navy. If we don't get him, will I blame myself? Can our marriage stand the loss?

The doctor's here. I need to pay attention to what he says about my knee, so, once again, I have to put the matter aside.


	66. Chapter 66

**PART TWO – A Child Withheld **

**FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO**

I've been on edge since Ms. LeMoine called last week about the report that may cause us to lose Tyler. Neither Harm nor I have come up with a solid defense against the concerns that the psychologist's report presents. I've sent a letter to Ms. LeMoine, outlining why I think the points that the doctor is trying to make shouldn't bear much weight with the committee.

I stated in my letter that Harm is stationed overseas, and his visits will be when his schedule allows, and though Harm hasn't been able to see him at regular intervals to date, we hope that will change in the future. I also pointed out that Harm and Tyler had a day at the park without 'maternal influence,' to which Mrs. Potter can attest. He sent Tyler a note with the pictures that Tyler took of him during their outing. He's mailed him postcards from London, Naples and the carrier to keep in touch. Harm spoke to Tyler during the Saturday call when we were in Virginia and has since called him every Wednesday evening, the day and time set by Mrs. Potter. So, though Harm may not be physically present, he will be involved in Tyler's life and be a paternal influence. Concluding my letter, I said that Tyler would be living the kind of life that most military children do: He'd be living in a home where a parent was deployed or stationed too far away to see them on a regular basis.

What else could I have said in my letter to tilt the odds in our favor? A knock on my door interrupts my search for the answer. "Enter," I bark, perturbed at the interruption.

"Ma'am, I hate to disturb you, but I need to talk to you about a problem that a friend of mine has," Petty Officer Coates says with a distinct look of concern on her face.

"Have a seat, Jennifer. Is your friend's problem legal or personal?" I ask, skeptical that it's about a friend.

"Both, ma'am."

"It might be better if your friend talks to me directly. As a lawyer, there'd be attorney/client privilege that would keep anything that we discuss confidential." I hope to get Jennifer to tell me that she's the one asking for help, but I'm surprised when she reveals information that makes me believe that there really is another person.

"Ma'am, she can't come to see you because she's in the hospital."

"Okay, Jennifer, let me hear as much of the story as you know. We'll see if what you know gives me enough information to give you any advice."

"My friend lives in my apartment building. Last week, I heard some commotion in her apartment. Her apartment door was open when I reached it. She told me that she and her husband had been arguing and that it had escalated. He'd hit her and stormed out of their apartment. She was surprised that I hadn't seen him in the hall on my way in. She said that he'd never hit her before and she was shocked by his actions. Since he'd already left their apartment and he'd never hit her before, she didn't want to call the police. I stayed on her couch that night, but he didn't come back while I was there. The next evening after work, I went to check on her. She said that he'd called just after I'd left that morning to say that he was sorry. He was going to stay at his mother's for a few days to think over why he'd lost his temper and then he'd come home. He just needed to sort through some things. She thought, since during the call he'd acknowledged that he'd lost his temper, and she thought that truly abusive men never saw it as a weakness in them, but rather in the other person, it would never happen again. She didn't know what was wrong, but was eager to talk it over with him when he returned in a few days."

I'm impatient, so I try to sum up what I've heard and make an effort to move the story forward when Jennifer stops talking for a moment to catch her breath or gather her thoughts.

"So last week, your neighbor and friend had an argument with her husband, and he hit her. Is her question whether or not to notify someone now?" I wait for the answer to my question so that I can dispense my advice and go back to trying to resolve my own problems, but the next part of the story causes the bile within me to rise and anger to consume me.

Jennifer's voice is low, but not a whisper when she speaks again. "No, ma'am, that isn't the question."

Jennifer takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, but when she speaks again, her voice is stronger. "Ma'am, her husband returned two days ago. This time there was no argument. He just used his key to enter the apartment around dinnertime and hit her before snatching up their five year old daughter and making a dash for the door. She caught her breath from his blow and ran after him. He could leave her, but she had no intention of letting him leave with their daughter. When she followed him down to the car to get their little girl, he ran into her with the car. She woke up yesterday and gave a statement to the police. I hadn't been home that evening because I'd gone to the movies with Dennis. I didn't hear that she'd been hurt until yesterday morning when another neighbor told me. So I went to the hospital to check on her, and she was with the police when I arrived. The nurse said that she'd regained consciousness a few hours prior. The San Diego police say that, since it's been more than forty-eight hours since he disappeared with their daughter, the possibility of them finding her aren't very good. My friend wants to know if there's anything that the military can to do to find him and her little girl."

I'm angry, and the thought running through my head is, 'I may not be able to get my son, but I'll be damned if this bastard's going to get away with her child.'

"Is either your friend or her husband in the military, Jennifer?" I ask, able to control the disdain that I feel.

"Yes, ma'am, both actually. She's in the Navy and he's a Marine."

I stand and prepare to leave the office. "Good, then there's no problem with making a case for this office to be involved. Jennifer, I need to talk to your friend. We're going to be investigating the hit and run incident."

I stop by Lt. Graves desk and ask her to get a copy of the police report from two nights ago on a hit and run accident involving... Jennifer then supplies the name, Petty Officer Linda Vaughn, and her address.

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER AT BALBOA HOSPITAL...**

Jennifer requests that she be allowed to go in first to explain that she's requested help from someone whom she trusts and is certain can help.

It's only four minutes and thirteen seconds before Jennifer reappears in the hall to ask me to come in.

I walk in and see the black eye and bruised face of what I suspect is ordinarily an attractive woman. Jennifer introduces us, and I ask my first question. The young woman doesn't seem interested in speaking with me, but she answers me. I begin to ask the twenty-something woman a series of questions, and I notice Jennifer reassuringly patting the woman's arm during every other question.

After my tenth or so question, the woman comes to life. "How are these questions about where he's stationed or when the last time was that he was deployed and such have to do with finding my daughter? I don't care if he's ever caught or punished for hurting me. I just want my little girl back."

Jennifer reaches for the woman's hand and squeezes it, drawing her focus to her. "I've known Colonel MacKenzie for awhile now, and she's asking questions that may not make sense to you, but they give her the information that she needs. She's a very good lawyer and she'll handle your case so that you'll be able to put Antonio away so that he can't get to you or Peggy again."

With tears in her eyes, Linda says, "Something's wrong with him. He needs help. He doesn't need to be in jail."

"Then we'll see that he gets help, but we have to find him first, Petty Officer Vaughn," I say, more than a little anxious to get back to my questions. I need to proceed in a professional manner, but I want to scream at her that I don't give a damn if her husband is prosecuted or not. I just want to get her daughter back, but I'm trying not to ruin my career at the same time.

It isn't my career in itself that I'm so concerned about since, if I get kicked out of the Corps, then I can go to Naples and finally be with Harm. No, the reason for my concern regarding my career is because I haven't entirely conceded to defeat in obtaining Tyler, and being forced to leave the Corps dishonorably would be a second strike in our efforts to do that. I need to control my anger and handle this case by the book. I think of another downside to getting drummed out of the Corps. The admiral always said that his job was more about politics than anything else, and I spent enough time in Washington to know that wrecking my career would taint the opinions of the powers that be and hurt my captain husband's chances of someday becoming the next Judge Advocate General, a post that I may once have wanted myself, but now it no longer holds the appeal that it once did. My priorities have changed. Not turning my career into a laughing stock is important to me, but having a family and becoming a mother in particular is much more important to me than being the JAG.

The time that it took me to pull my emotions together has given Linda Vaughn the same chance, and she's ready to continue now.

Having obtained information about her husband's duty station from his wife, I told Petty Officer Coates that our next stop was Camp Pendleton. I want to know if Staff Sergeant Antonio Vaughn has been reporting for duty or not.

**LATER IN THE DAY, CAMP PENDLETON...**

At SSgt. Vaughn's command, we found out that he'd been reporting for duty until yesterday. He'd shown up carrying his daughter in his arms, saying that he needed emergency leave to care for his wife and child. His wife had been struck by a car the previous afternoon in front of their child, and the child had been pretty shaken. In fact, the child had been so upset that he'd said that a nurse had told him that children's Benadryal would get her to sleep. After a call to Balboa to verify that his wife had been hospitalized, he'd been granted fourteen days emergency leave.

My next set of questions for his CO is about the few weeks prior to yesterday. Had he been acting any differently? Had he talked about hurting himself or someone else?

Lt. Graves had called while we were in route to Camp Pendleton to tell us that she had a copy of the police report. At that time, I asked Lt. Graves to get a copy of the sergeant's service record and to get it ASAP.

Having gathered a lot of information, it was time to head back. At the office, I could read the police report, look over his service record and, hopefully, see what I needed to in order to find this child who was being withheld from her mother.

**BACK AT THE OFFICE...**

Lt. Graves informs me that I've missed a lot of calls. I quickly sort through the messages to see if there are any that I have to return immediately. No, nothing that can't wait. I tell Lt. Graves to join us in my office with the police report and service record.

The lieutenant, Jennifer and I look over what we've gathered so far. There's a lot of ground to cover. His parents live in La Jolla, not too far from Harm's parents and me. He has an uncle in upstate New York and one in Ensenada, Mexico.

The sergeant speaks three languages, one of which is Spanish, so it's possible that he's at his uncle's in Mexico. As a rule, the MP's don't usually venture past Tijuana when they search for wayward military men and women whose drunken outings have caused them to lose their bearings and miss the border.

The police report says that they called the uncle in New York and spoke with his parents. They had no probable cause to search his parents' home, so he could've been there with the child. His parents are civilians, and I have no right to invade their home either, but I want to talk to them. The uncle in Mexico has no phone, so I'm leaning towards that being where he's headed or hiding out.

It's an hour past quitting time, and I dismiss my two helpers, but neither of them move. Jennifer says that she'd asked for my help, but had never expected me to do it alone. Lt. Graves was equally as headstrong. She didn't want to quit until we had the little girl back.

I phoned Frank and called upon him once again to take Mattie to the gallery for work in the morning and probably bring her home as well. When Frank asked and I explained that I was working on a missing child case, he told me to call Mattie and tell her that he was on his way over to get her. She'd be staying with them until I wrapped up the case.

After Frank and I finished our call, I called Mattie and told her to put some of her things together because Frank was on his way over to pick her up. She'd be staying with her grandparents for a while. When Mattie asked what was going on, I told her about our search for the missing girl. Mattie then asked how long she'd be staying with Trish and Frank, and I told Mattie...until we find her.


	67. Chapter 67

**PART THREE – Who's on ZNN?**

**MONDAY, MARCH 20, 2006**

**NAPLES, ITALY**

Since my injury, I've knuckled under to doctor's orders and let a duty driver pick me up in the morning to take me from my quarters on one side of the base to my office on the other side.

With my knee all wrapped in an ACE bandage, the bulge in my pant leg makes the knee look more swollen than it was when I went to the doctor, but the swelling has gone down. Thankfully, the pain is minimal in the mornings, so I should be able to get through my visit with the general with no problems.

In the car on the way to the office, I wonder what kind of case Mac could be on that has kept her from returning my calls all weekend. I tried to call her on Friday to say 'Happy anniversary, we've made it six months,' but I never reached her at the house or on her cell phone. On Saturday, I tried several times to reach them for the regular Saturday call. I did finally talk to Mattie on Saturday when I called her on her cell phone. Mattie said that Mac was working on a case and, as far as she knew, Mac hadn't been at the condo since Friday morning when she left for work. I didn't think that Mattie would have much knowledge of the case that Mac was working on, so I spoke with Mattie for a few minutes before I called Mac's cell and left another message. Sunday went by without any word from Mac either, and now it's Monday.

Since General Cresswell is scheduled to arrive for our meeting at 0900, though I suspect that he'll arrive early, I have time to go through my normal morning routine before he makes his appearance.

On Mondays, I like to watch the ZNN weekend recap on the monitor in my office. They usually replay some of the human interest stories that aired over the weekend. It leaves me with a feeling of good will about our world before I start reading reports and assigning cases concerning crimes of varying degrees.

I take my first sip of coffee and prop my right leg up on another chair that was placed there strictly for that purpose. I reach for the remote and click on the TV.

I've watched for several minutes when the news anchor gives the teaser. "Up next, we'll be bringing you the story that first aired yesterday. It's the story of a stateside mother and daughter reunited with the help of the United States Marines."

Okay, they have my attention with that. I want to hear what Mac's little mean green friends have been doing to show their soft side.

I turn up the sound so that I'll hear the story start when they get to it. They give you the tease that the story is up next, but when they return from the commercial, it's never the next story they air immediately upon their return.

I listen to a story about Iraq and the lives lost over the weekend there. Then I hear the lead words to the story that I've been waiting for. "While some Marines were part of the casualties in Iraq this weekend, a few select Marines stationed at San Diego's Marine base at Camp Pendleton were on a mission closer to home yesterday. We have the complete story from a ZNN affiliate in San Diego."

The lead words have gotten me to look up from the papers that I've been reading to focus on the screen.

I see a man in his late thirties or early forties holding a microphone, but I don't read the little block showing the reporter's name, the affiliate station's call letters or his location because, in the background of the shot, I see a very familiar looking form. I stare, trying to be sure that I'm seeing who I think I'm seeing. Yes, I'm sure it's her. It's Mac!

While I was straining to make the image of the person in the background clearer, I must have missed part of the report because, once I've decided that I'm indeed looking at my wife on the screen, the reporter is in mid sentence.

"…when a team led by Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie…"

'I knew that was her,' is my thought while I continue to listen to the reporter.

"…went into Mexico to retrieve Marine SSgt Antonio Vaughn and his daughter. SSgt Vaughn is the suspect in the hit and run of his wife, Navy Petty Officer Linda Vaughn, and fleeing with their daughter, Peggy, last Wednesday. Col. MacKenzie, who commands the Joint Legal Services office here in San Diego, called for NCIS cooperation to help pinpoint the location of the suspect and his daughter on Saturday."

I watch as the figure who I've identified as Mac helps a little girl from a van while I continue to listen to the reporter.

"A statement released by NCIS a few hours ago states, 'NCIS was asked on Saturday for its cooperation in finding SSgt Vaughn and his daughter. All facts pointed to the staff sergeant having fled to the home of a relative in Mexico. The Marine team was delayed in pursuing their suspicions while they waited for approval to go into Mexico. After a call from Congresswoman Bobbi Latham to Mexican officials to secure the cooperation of the Mexican government, a small team of Marines stationed at Camp Pendleton, led by Colonel MacKenzie, entered Mexico for the purpose of extracting the staff sergeant and his daughter. Though our camera crew was held at the border by Mexican authorities, we understand that the suspect surrendered without incident. What you're seeing behind me are two vans outside the Naval Medical Center at Balboa. One van has SSgt Vaughn in it and the other has his daughter. They've been brought here for medical evaluation. At eleven, we hope to be able to bring you coverage of the reunion between the five-year-old and her mother and have some comments from Colonel MacKenzie. This is Bill Watkins, channel six news."

No wonder Mac didn't call. She had her hands full. I'll try to call her after the general leaves.

My eyes are glued to the monitor, hoping to see her when they replay the other segment that aired at eleven last night in San Diego. The reporter didn't get any comments from Mac, but they said that the little girl was a little dehydrated and would be given fluids and kept overnight for observation as a precaution. The reporter's information on SSgt Vaughn was less detailed. He did report that the staff sergeant had been admitted for medical treatment, but had no details of what he was to be treated for or how long he'd be hospitalized.

I watch the rest of the ZNN recap and finish my coffee before taking my leg off the chair and returning the chair to where it belongs. I don't want the general walking in, find me sitting around with my leg up and thinking that that's how I run my office.

Just as I suspected, General Cresswell arrives at 0830, a full thirty minutes early.

I move around my desk to welcome him at the door. After proper military greetings, I walk back towards my desk, trying to keep from favoring my right leg.

"Captain Rabb, why are you limping?"

"I stepped down wrong and twisted my knee while running on Wednesday morning, Sir."

"How bad is it?"

"Not bad, Sir. The doctor put me on an anti-inflammatory med and a mild muscle relaxant for five days. The doc said that it was time that I learned that I was getting older, whether I liked it or not, and that ten mile runs were too much for my knees to take daily. He suggested that I take up swimming, bicycling and gym workouts to vary my exercise routine and limit the number of days that I run...after I take three weeks off for my body to rest and my knee to heal completely."

"Sounds like you're going to live then, Captain, so let's get down to business." The general sits at my desk and opens his briefcase.

We spend the next forty minutes discussing the relocation plan and the time allowances that I'd built in and why. As our conversation continues, I'm getting the feeling that he's been sent to scrutinize me more than to inspect the new offices.

At fifteen minutes to 1100, General Cresswell closes his briefcase. "I believe we have an 1100 inspection scheduled, so let's get to it. We can finish this paper pushing after the inspection and chow."

"Yes, Sir."

I reach for the phone and push the button that will buzz Petty Officer Banks. When the petty officer responds, I tell him, "Petty Officer, tell Commander Manetti to prepare for inspection."

As General Cresswell greets each of my staff, I walk with him, but my mind is trying to process what we could possibly have left to talk about this afternoon. I'd expected the general to come early, but I hadn't anticipated him staying past lunch. This morning, we've talked about man hours, relocation plans, budget reports, staffing needs and case loads. What else could we possibly have to discuss during or after lunch?

After meeting my staff, General Cresswell requests that Commander Manetti give him a tour of the facility while I put my leg up for a few minutes before we go eat.

While Manetti is giving Cresswell his tour, I have Petty Officer Banks call for a driver to take the general and me to lunch. When Manetti returns to my office with the general, he asks her to join us. I'm a little surprised by his gesture simply because I was expecting more questions over lunch that I don't believe that Cresswell would ask in front of my XO.

General Cresswell asks both her and me how we're enjoying Naples. He asks Commander Manetti if she has any family here in Naples and, if not, does she have any relatives still residing in Italy. Since we haven't been here long, he inquires if, other than the sidewalk that got me, whether or not we've had enough time to gather impressions of how Naples will compare with London. He even asks if I saw my wife on ZNN this weekend.

The lunch turns out to be more of a social event than I'd expected and is very pleasant. Before standing at the end of lunch, I'm more relaxed about my after-lunch meeting with the general. However, when I stand, pain shoots through my knee, and I want to scream. If I can't get this leg up soon, I may not be able to keep my military bearing.

I hobble to the car and I can feel the general's eyes on me. I don't know what he's thinking, but I'm once again not looking forward to our afternoon meeting.

I'm pleasantly surprised by the general's more relaxed demeanor when we return to my office. He removes his briefcase from on top of my desk and pushes one of the two chairs from in front of my desk to behind the desk and suggests that I put my leg on it to rest my 'bum knee.'

I decide that, with the knee now throbbing, I'm going to be thankful that he suggested it and put my leg up for at least a few minutes. He's seated, and there's no longer a reason for me to be standing. Once my six is in the chair and my leg is up, General Cresswell speaks.

"Captain...Harm, this afternoon, I want to talk to you about your request for relocation to be closer to Colonel MacKenzie."

I don't know where this conversation is going, and a lump forms in my throat as the general elaborates.

"I want to make it clear that you're doing very well in your position here. The SecNav is impressed with the precision with which you've completed the relocation and even more impressed that you finished the job a week early. A transfer now for personal reasons _could_ stall any future advancement. I need to make sure that you understand what you might be doing to your career if you accept a billet in San Diego."

I move my leg off the chair so that I can sit directly opposite him when I respond. I swallow the lump in my throat and look him in the eye. "At one time, my career meant everything to me, but now, I'd dig latrines if I could dig them in San Diego." As soon as the words leave my lips, I know that what I've said is over the top, but I can't muster anything more than a "sir" to complete my statement. I stay focused on his face while waiting for a reaction, and his reaction surprises me.

He smiles and chuckles. He reaches into his briefcase, pulls out a manila envelope and drops it on my desk. "Captain, after you look over this paperwork, see if you can find some time to take some leave to let that knee heal."

"Yes, Sir."

Soon after he's gone, my leg is back up on the chair and I'm more relaxed now that his visit has come to an end. I can read the contents of the envelope after I've talked to Mac. After calculating the time difference several times to be sure that it's a little after 0600 in San Diego, I place a call to Mac's cell phone.

This time, I reach her, and she explains her exploits over the weekend. She says that she'd planned to call me when she got to the office in a little while to apologize for missing my anniversary wishes.

Before we finally hang up, I've heard how she'd become involved with the case and how, once she'd enlisted the help of NCIS to help access Vaughn's credit card transactions, they'd been able to zero in on his trail to Ensenada.

When I voice my concern about her leading the team, I expect to hear the 'I'm a Marine' speech, but instead, I hear the softness of the woman I married. "I had to lead the team. I didn't want a whole bunch of men scaring that little girl. I had to see that she was okay and get her back to her mother safely. I couldn't let that woman lose her child if I could stop it. I just couldn't."

"Mac, it isn't over yet. The committee doesn't meet for another week," I say reassuringly, knowing that Mac's need to keep that mother and child together was due, at least in part, to the possibility of us not being allowed to adopt Tyler.

"I know, but I can't think of anything else to say to get them to understand that he belongs with us. We love him. That has to count for something."

"I know it counts to Tyler." I pause. "Do you think you could get away this weekend?"

"Yeah, but a weekend isn't time enough for me to fly to Italy and have any time with you before I have to fly back."

"I wasn't thinking about you flying here. I was thinking about meeting you in Blacksburg on Saturday. This Saturday is the 25th, Tyler's birthday."

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Mac practically screams into my ear.

We're on the phone a few more minutes while we agree on which one of us should call to make the arrangements with Ms. LeMoine and Mrs. Potter to see Tyler.

When I get off the phone, knowing that I'm going to see her this weekend, my knee feels better. Why is that?

After getting off the phone with Mac, the next order of business is to open the manila envelope and find out what new project awaits me. I flip the flap up and pull the stack of papers out of the envelope. I spend the next ten minutes staring at the papers in disbelief.


	68. Chapter 68

**PART FOUR – It's my Birthday **

**SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2006**

**BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA **

On the drive over to the Potter home, I'm surprised by how rested I feel for as busy as my week has been. The envelope that the general had left with me on Monday afternoon contained two sets of documents, both very interesting. It took at least ten minutes before the words that I'd read started to sink in and for me to truly gather the meaning and recognize the impact that it will have on our lives. After the 'true meaning' had registered in my mind, I had a ton of things to do. Preparing for the upcoming few weeks made the time fly by and, before I knew it, I was on a plane.

I'd flown in yesterday and was surprised when my mother and Frank had picked me up at Dulles instead of Harriet. They'd flown in earlier in the day and had rented a minivan for their trip to Blacksburg. During the ride with them to the storage facility to pick up my car, they filled me in on the birthday party for Tyler.

It would seem that my parents have hired a party planning service to throw a birthday party for Tyler. With Frank supplying the funds and with my mother's highbrow tastes, I was glad to hear that Mac had recruited Harriet to help in order to ensure that the party would be something that Tyler would enjoy. However, when my parents told me what they had planned, I wondered if they'd gone overboard.

By the time we'd arrived in Blacksburg last night, it was too late to see Tyler and, from the sound of things, he and I were both going to need to be well-rested for his party today.

At dinner with my parents last night, after I'd explained my plans to pick up Tyler early this morning and take him to breakfast before bringing him with me to the hotel to wait for Mac and Mattie to arrive since they have to fly into Roanoke, Frank suggested that I take the minivan so that Tyler and I can pick them up rather than have Mac rent another car to drive here. After a call to Mac to be sure that the new arrangement was okay with her, this is the plan. I'll take the minivan to pick up Tyler, and we'll go to breakfast, but instead of waiting around at the hotel, Tyler and I will go pick up Mac and Mattie at the airport and, once I've collected everyone, I'll bring them back to the hotel where Tyler will meet Trish and Frank, and everyone can relax for a little while before the party.

It's almost twenty minutes to eight when I knock on the front door of the Potter home. I'm early, but I'm excited to see Tyler, and the day will get even better because it won't be long now before I'll see Mac and Mattie as well.

Mrs. Potter answered the door and invited me in to wait while she went back to tell Tyler that I've arrived, but she's now returning to the living room.

I'm not surprised when she whispers that she and two of the younger children who live here will be at the surprise party this afternoon. We both hear Tyler running down the hall, and she cautions him, "Tyler, don't run in the house."

My knee is feeling much better. In fact, it's so much better that I've abandoned the wrap and had even thought about going for a run a few mornings ago. However, the twinge of pain that I feel when Tyler rushes over to me and impacts my right leg tells me that it needs a little more than ten days of healing time. I guess it's a good thing that I didn't go for that run. I stagger back a step when Tyler runs into me, but at least I'm able to stay upright.

Tyler is standing on his tip toes to reach my waist and he has his arms wrapped so tightly around me that I'm a little scared to move, but I manage to carefully pry him off of me and lift him up to my eye level. Tyler wraps his arms around my neck in a hug, and the backpack that he's carrying by one strap thumps me in the back. Since Tyler is spending the night with us at the hotel, I hope that I'm not going to be bruised from head to toe by Sunday when we have to bring him back.

Tyler's more than ready to go, and it doesn't take long for us to get him and his backpack in the car and be off to breakfast. I use the GPS in Frank's rental to find a place to stop between Blacksburg and the airport in Roanoke. I don't want to make the trip seem too long for Tyler.

Before we stopped for breakfast, Tyler talked about being glad to see me, thanked me for the postcards that I'd sent and told me all about school.

He ate a good breakfast, and the conversation on the way to the airport has been about Mac and Mattie visiting him last month and how he wants to see them again, too. I know that we've been together for only an hour or so, but things seem to be going well.

**ROANOKE, VIRGINIA **

When we get into the terminal, we search for the monitor that lists flight arrivals. I show Tyler the line on the monitor that indicates that their plane is on time and should be landing in a few minutes, but I think I'm more excited than he is.

I take Tyler's hand, and we begin to walk to find the area in this airport where they have incoming passengers come out of the secured area. I think back to a time as a boy when I went with my mother to pick up my grandma.

Tyler will never know what it was like before 9/11 when you could stand at the gate and watch the plane roll into place, your excitement building, knowing that it would be only a few more minutes before your loved ones were there with you. Now you wait for passengers to come out of a hall into the main part of the terminal to a mass of people waiting on planes from all over, and it can be hard to find who you're looking for when the deplaning people come out in bunches. This is one of the simple things that we don't think about every day, but should anger us in our fight against terrorism. It's a necessary thing and a small thing to give up, but in giving it up, haven't we lost part of our freedom? Tyler's voice stops my thoughts.

"Harm, how much longer until they get here?"

I look at my watch. "The plane should be landing any minute, but it'll take a few minutes for Mac and Mattie to get off the plane and get out here to us," I inform him.

Tyler and I wait until ten minutes past the scheduled arrival time to check the monitor again. The status of their flight is listed as 'Landed.'

The plane has been on the ground for about twenty minutes, and Tyler and I are searching through a mass of people coming through the doors from the gates. How he manages to see them from his lower vantage point before I do is beyond me, but he's sure that he sees them and bolts away from me. I'm trotting behind him, something that my knee is revolting against.

"Mac, Mattie, we're here! Mac! Mattie!" Tyler squeals excitedly.

I'm not that far behind Tyler, but Mac is sidetracked by Tyler, and she scoops him up and hugs him tightly. Before I can say a word, I'm close enough, and Mattie hugs me. Tyler pulls back and looks at Mac. "Are you surprised? Harm brought me."

It's then that Mac really notices me. She puts Tyler down, and he and Mattie greet each other with a hug. Mac and I take a step towards each other, and her arms go up around my neck as her lips briefly touch mine before she leans into me and sighs. My arms wrap around her, and I hold her close to me for a few moments.

Mac and I are merely in an embrace, but we've apparently been holding it longer than a seven-year-old thinks is necessary.

"Harm, you said that I was going to meet your parents today after Mac and Mattie got here. Can we go now?"

Mac and I move out of our embrace, but I take her hand. "Do you ladies have any luggage at baggage claim?"

Mattie shakes her head no, but Mac responds, "No, for one night, we managed to get everything for both of us into Mattie's backpack, and she carried it on."

"Then, Tyler, we're ready to go," I say, looking down at the excited little boy.

Mac and I walk out holding hands, and Mac has her head resting against my shoulder part of the way. Tyler is holding Mattie's hand, and they're walking a few feet in front of us as we leave the terminal.

We arrive at the hotel, and Mac, Mattie and Tyler put their things in their rooms.

Mattie and Tyler each have their own bed, but they're in a room connected to ours. Mattie is eager to explore the pool. Volleyball used to be her sport, but now it's swimming. She's talking about joining the school swim team next year. She challenges me to a few laps, but Mac cautions that there may not be time before we have to leave for lunch, so Mattie and I agree to a 'swim off' this evening. It's from this conversation that we find out that Tyler doesn't know how to swim and has never been in a pool. He has no swimsuit, so now there's a reason to go shopping before lunch.

During a call to my parents' room to let them know that we're here at the hotel, we agree to meet downstairs so they can finally meet Tyler.

I don't know about my mother, but Frank is settling into his 'grandpa' role. Tyler is sitting on Frank's knee after only a few minutes, and they're talking up a storm. With Tyler in good hands, Mac calls Harriet to check on 'lunch.'

It isn't too long before we're loading into the minivan to go to the mall before we go to lunch. Everyone in the car except Tyler is aware that 'lunch' is really his birthday party.

We're apparently at the mall for more reasons than I'm aware because Mac has us go through three different stores' linen departments. She's been hoping to set up Tyler's bedroom, but wasn't sure what he'd like, so she's trying to get some idea of what to buy while we're out. I think it's between the movies 'Cars' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean' for a room theme, but they lost my full attention during the second store, so I'm not sure. My concentration is hindered by the dull ache in my knee. I think it would be okay if I could sit down for a while, but with a birthday party at the park next on the list, I don't see much sitting down in my future. We spend just over an hour at the mall before it's time for 'lunch'.

Tyler's eyes light up when we get out of the minivan at the park. Tyler is between Mac and me and holding onto our hands as he did at the mall. We walk a little way and see that they've put 'Happy Birthday' ribbons around a few trees. One of those air chambers that the kids get in to jump and bounce around in is between two of those trees. The air smells like someone is grilling, and it isn't too long before we see the grill. Tyler's been eyeing the area since we arrived, but it's taken him a while before he says anything.

"Today's my birthday, too! Did you know that?" Tyler both informs and asks in a cheery voice.

Mac and I stop and look down at Tyler. "Yes, we did," we say in unison.

"Do you think that you'd like to have a party like that for your birthday?" Mac asks.

"I've never had a birthday party, so it wouldn't have to be that fancy, but I'd like to have a party some day."

Mac bends down and gives Tyler a big hug. "Well, if you've never had one before, I think your first party ought to be fancy enough to make up for the other birthday parties that you didn't have."

"I think we should read the sign," I suggest. Mac and Tyler turn to see a sign that two event planner employees have just stuck in the ground in front of two picnic tables.

The sign reads, 'Happy 7th birthday, Tyler.' Still not making the connection, Tyler says, "That birthday party is for a boy with the same name as me."

I shake my head. "The party isn't for someone else named Tyler. It's your birthday party."

He looks up at me, and his eyes are as big around as saucers. "Really?"

This time, the entire group, Mattie, my parents, Mac and I say in unison, "Really!"

The Roberts' family arrival makes the noise level go up, and the gathering seems more like a party. Miss Nancy and two of the children show up, too. Tyler is proudly inviting children from nearby tables to come over to 'jump' with him. Everyone seems to be having such a good time. Tyler and AJ Roberts are inseparable until lunch is served. AJ sits with his parents to eat, and Tyler sits between Mac and me. After lunch, it's time for cake and, with a little help from Mattie, who's standing beside him, Tyler blows out the seven candles on top of his cake. Ms. LeMoine has been invited, and she drops by to check on Tyler in time for cake. Once the cake is served and presents are unwrapped, the party begins to wind down and guests begin to leave.

Once we're back at the hotel, it's time to change and head to the pool. Mac says that she isn't in the mood to swim and doesn't change, but she goes to the pool with us to keep an eye on Tyler and call the race between Mattie and me.

Mattie gets me to give her a half a lap head start. Her reason is, 'When you dive into the pool, you're almost half a lap in.' It turns out that Mattie's a very strong swimmer and beats me by half a lap, the lead I gave her. I think I've been conned. I'd blame my defeat on my knee, except that I didn't tell anyone about my running incident, so it might be seen as a story used to save face in the wake of my loss.

To shore up my wounded ego, I ask, "Wasn't it the best two out of three? I'm an old man. If you get half a lap head start for being short, I should get one lap as a warm up before the real race." Mac is smirking and Mattie's laughing.

"Harm, I'll give you a rematch in the morning when you're fresh, if you can get your old bones up in time to squeeze in a swim before we have to go to the airport," Mattie states.

"You're on."

Tyler asks, "Will I get to watch Mattie beat Harm again or will I be back at Miss Nancy's house by then?"

"You think that she's going to beat me again?" I ask, and Tyler nods affirmatively.

Why do I think that I've just lost part of my credibility as a 'can do anything dad' with him? Before I can decide if I should push to see how much ground I've lost, Mattie asks Tyler if he wants to get in the pool.

Mac stands and takes Tyler's hand, walking him closer to the pool's edge. Tyler doesn't seem to be afraid of the water, but Mac has him sit on the edge and put his feet in the water to start.

"The water's cold," Tyler comments.

Mattie has swum over to the edge where he is. "That's why, when you learn how to swim, you just jump in. If you get wet all at once, you don't notice how cold the water is."

I'd beg to differ aloud, but then I'd have to explain that most of my body feels the way she describes, but one part of me always knows when I hit cold water.

Tyler doesn't get to have a swim lesson before it's dinner time, but he manages to get down to the second step, which, for his height, has water to his waist. He wants to try to get in 'all the way' in the morning.

We have dinner at the hotel restaurant with my parents. Tyler wants to sit between Mac and me at first, but then he wants to sit next to 'grandpa' and Mattie, so the hardest thing about dinner is sitting down. Tyler finally settles on sitting between 'grandpa' and Mac.

After dinner, it's up to the rooms for bath time. After Tyler has a bath, he's in our room on the bed with us, watching the 'Finding Nemo' movie that Mac bought for him today at the mall for his birthday. She actually bought two copies, one for him to take back to the foster home that he can leave there and one for her to take back to California for him, thinking positively that he's going to be allowed to live with her.

The movie is about half over when Tyler starts to doze off, but he wakes himself up, fighting sleep every step of the way. By the end of the movie, Tyler's lost his fight with the sandman and is fast asleep.

I think that Mac's wiping tears away by the end of the movie, but I'm not absolutely sure. I check to make sure that Mattie doesn't have the TV turned up too loudly before I scoop up Tyler and move him from our bed to his in the other room.

Mac walks in front of me, turns down the covers and then pulls them up over the sleeping boy once I lay him down on the bed. Mac kisses his forehead and whispers goodnight to him before we leave the room.

Mac comes into the room after me because she's stopped at Mattie's backpack and is getting out something. I know that the night isn't going to go the way I'd hoped when I see that she has a pair of pajamas in her hand, leaves the connecting door open and, as she moves towards the bed, she says, "I want to hear him if he has a bad dream or needs anything. I'm going to get ready for bed."

She enters the bathroom and, a few minutes later, she emerges in her pajamas. I'm thankful that they're the silky red ones, not the flannel cowboy ones, but we haven't seen each other in two months, and she's wearing pajamas!

I'm still dressed and sitting on top of the covers, and she says, "I'm sorry. I should have asked if you wanted to change first. With the door open, you certainly couldn't change out here. You did bring something to sleep in, didn't you?" she asks as if she's just realized that I might not have brought anything.

"Yeah, I have something to sleep in." We haven't had time to even have a 'real' kiss all day, and she's climbing into bed like there's no spark left in our marriage. She and I obviously had two different ideas about how this evening was going to go. I think I might need another dunk in the pool or a cold shower before sleeping tonight.

I get up, rummage through the bag that I brought and, after a few moments, come up with a pair of sweat pants. I'm slightly agitated, so I decide that they're close enough and disappear into the bathroom.

I've been able to clear some irrational thoughts from my mind in the bathroom like 'she's tired of me already,' and think with a little more compassion. This situation has to be very hard for Mac. She has a little boy whom she loves and doesn't know if or when she'll get to see him again, but, at the same time, she has her husband of six months who, though she doesn't know when she'll see him again, she knows that she will.

I leave the bathroom, feeling a little bit like a jerk, but hoping that she didn't notice. I think that she's asleep when I get close to the bed, but when I lie down, she speaks.

"I thought you were trying to get out of kissing me goodnight," Mac says softly.

"I never want out of that," I say as our lips find their way to each other for the kiss that I've waited for all day. The kiss is soft at first and then more firm, mouths closed at first, but, as the kiss intensifies, mouths open and tongues come together to explore. When she pulls back, I'm not sure that it would count as one kiss or more than one kiss, but it's more like what I had in mind to do in bed tonight. As my mind races for a way to continue down this path, her voice penetrates the silence, and the words I hear crush my growing excitement.

"I know that it's a lot to ask, but will you just hold me tonight?"

"If that's what you want, of course, I will." I get comfortable, and she moves close to snuggle at my side the way she's done before.

I've missed her so much and I can't say that I'm not disappointed that we didn't make love tonight, but if this is what she needs, then I'm going to do as she asks because...I love her.


	69. Chapter 69

**PART FIVE – San Diego Bound**

**SUNDAY, MARCH 26, 2006**

**THE BLACKSBURG HOTEL **

**BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA**

**MORNING**

I wake to the pressure of her lips on mine. I don't open my eyes, but I bring my hand up to place it on the back of her head to hold her lips to mine for as long as possible. Before I get my hand in place, she's deepening the kiss, and my body is tingling. The kiss is slow and long and, I think, promising, but when our lips part, I open my eyes to see that she's dressed for the day.

"You wake me up like that and you're dressed?" Her eyes dart away from mine before she utters anything.

"When I was taking my shower this morning, I thought you might have gotten the impression that I didn't want you last night. You looked so sexy sleeping there that I wanted to kiss you and let you know that it isn't true. I _do_ want you. This trip was a wonderful idea, but it fell at a bad time of the month."

I think that I'm starting to understand 'woman code.' She isn't talking about monthly reports being due or anything like that. She's letting me know that it's her time of the month. She sees the recognition of her meaning come over my face, but before any more can be said, there's someone speaking from the connecting doorway.

"Harm, my suit's almost dry, so I don't think that I should swim this morning. I didn't think about it when I told you that I'd give you a rematch, but I don't want to pack a wet suit."

"Yeah, packing wet swimsuits isn't a good idea. I'll take a rain check. I'll be in San Diego for the JAG conference. I've got some things to take care of, but I'll try to get there by this weekend, and we can race then."

"Cool," Mattie says and turns to go back into her room.

After Mattie leaves, I feel a slap on my arm. "You're going to be in San Diego for the JAG conference and you're just now mentioning it?" Mac asks.

"Wait a minute...as the host, shouldn't you have already known that I was coming and that I'm one of the speakers at the JAG conference this year?

"I turned the planning over to Lt. Graves. She keeps me in the loop, but we haven't discussed every detail, and I've been so busy that I haven't given the confirmed list of attendees a look yet. I was going to do it tomorrow when I got to the office...but don't think that it let's you off the hook, because you could've mentioned it any time yesterday or last night."

"Hey, you were pretty chilly to me last night. I wasn't sure that you'd be interested in the fact that I was going to be there, but after that kiss this morning, I'm hoping that it means that I won't have to make hotel reservations," I answer teasingly.

"I don't know," she says, slowly dragging out the syllables as if she's thinking. "How long have you known that you were going to be attending the conference?" she asks with that killer glare of hers.

"When Cresswell came to inspect the new offices in Naples last Monday, he dropped an envelope on my desk. My topic for the conference is 'Rules of Engagement from a lawyer/aviator's standpoint'. Travel documents and other items related to it were also inside the envelope."

"Almost a week? It would serve you right if I made you stay in a hotel...but I miss you too much to hold it against you, so no hotel for you. You'll have a place to stay," Mac said, faking her anger. She was thrilled that he was coming to San Diego, but she wasn't going to let him know it...not yet anyway.

I give her a big smile. "Do you think that you'll enjoy having me around for a week?" I inquire tentatively.

"It'll be different to have you around, but yeah, I think I'll like it," Mac replies with a sheepish grin.

"What if I could stay longer? Would that be okay?" I ask coyly.

"If the committee decides in our favor on Tuesday, before they'll finalize the adoption and really make Tyler our son, they'll want to know that you've been to visit him as much as you possibly could. So, though I'd love to have the time with you, I think you should save your leave time for when the four of us can be together again like this visit, only longer."

"I was hoping to have the perfect moment to tell you about the other item in the envelope, but I waited a lot of years for the perfect moment to tell you that I loved you, and it never came, so I ended up just blurting it out. Maybe some people just don't get those fairy tale moments..." I offer before I continue, "...but I have some life changing news to tell you." I look into her eyes and take her hands in mine. "We were miles apart and then we were together for such short periods of time before the miles separated us again, but now we've come full circle. We're going to be together again. The other document in the envelope was my orders to a new duty station. I'm being transferred to San Diego."

"So, if we get Tyler, we're going to be a real family?" Mac gasps in disbelief.

"Looks that way," I answer with a sheepish grin.

"Wait, did you tell Ms. LeMoine? This will help our case," Mac says excitedly, seemingly jumping over the fact that I've just told her that I'm moving to San Diego.

"Yes, I faxed her as soon as I got the orders in my hand. I was going to call you, but I wanted to see the expression on your face when you found out that we're going to finally get the chance to live together as husband and wife."

"What's your new assignment?" she asks with a big smile on her face.

"I'll be the JAG assigned to the regional NCIS office. I report for duty on April 17th."

Tyler's awake, and his voice saying 'good morning' to Mattie in the other room prompts me to suggest, "I don't think that we should tell him. If the committee doesn't let Tyler live with us, it'll be harder for him if he knows that we're together without him. If the committee approves our application, we can tell him then."

The look on Mac's face is a combination of disbelief and excitement, and I stop to let her have a moment to let it sink in, but it occurs to me that I haven't thought about when to tell Mattie.

"One more thing, I'd like to tell Mattie about the move myself, if you don't mind, but when should I tell her?" I ask.

"You just told her that you're coming to San Diego for the JAG conference. Why don't you wait until you're there to tell her that you've been reassigned," Mac replies.

"Good idea," I say as we lean in towards each other.

Our lips are about to meet when we hear a seven-year-old ball of energy enter the room.

"I'm hungry."

Mac and I keep eye contact for just a moment in a silent apology that our kiss was interrupted before we turn our attention to the little boy who's now next to the bed.

Mac stands and moves around to Tyler. "I'm hungry, too. Let's go see if Mattie's hungry while Harm gets dressed."

**AFTERNOON **

I'd asked Mattie to help me take her and Mac's things to the car, but with them having only the one carry on bag, she knew that I wanted to discuss something. She brought up Paul's name, not me, and somehow that seemed like as good a lead-in as any, so I reminded her of my news. I guess she was too excited about getting home and back to Paul for it to really sink in when I told her a little while ago that I'd be in town.

"We don't need to talk about Paul right now." She looked relieved as I continued. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about him when I come to San Diego for the JAG conference. I'm sure that I'll even have a chance to meet him while I'm there."

Mattie went pale for a moment, but she regained her color pretty quickly and said that it would be good to have me around, but I don't think that, when I'd mentioned the rain check for our swim, she'd thought that I'd have a chance to meet Paul, or maybe she was just preoccupied with figuring out a way to keep me from meeting him during my week's stay. Well, won't she be surprised when I tell her that I'm staying for a lot longer than that.

Since the minivan was big enough for the four people who were returning to San Diego to get to the airport, Tyler and I said our goodbyes to Mac, Mattie and my parents at the hotel. After hugs from everyone for Tyler and me, the majority of my family piled into the minivan and left for the airport, leaving me to get Tyler back to Mrs. Potter's.

I was glad that I was given the job of returning Tyler because, when I'd had the chance to talk briefly with Ms. LeMoine yesterday at the party, she'd suggested that I meet with her this afternoon when I returned Tyler. She was going to come by to ask Tyler a few questions about his night with us while it was still fresh in his mind, and she'd answer my questions about Tuesday's hearing then, too.

**POTTER HOME**

**BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA**

Ms. LeMoine is patient and starts by explaining the committee's purpose and makeup.

"The committee meets to make initial placement decisions for children under the age of ten, who aren't really emotionally ready to help in the decision making, but the child is usually asked a few questions to make them feel that they do have some say if they're old enough. The committee is made up of three people who aren't connected to the case: a psychologist, a supervisor from social services and a teacher. They read reports from those involved, such as myself, and letters from the prospective parents, but they don't meet with anyone personally. In Tyler's case, he's considered old enough to have some input, but he won't speak in front of the entire committee. Tyler will sit in a room and be asked questions by the psychologist, who's best qualified to read his body language, while the other two members watch from another room."

Next, Ms. LeMoine explains what happens after the decision is made. "They'll call me after they've reached a decision. They inform me so that I can see that Tyler is told in a way that's the least stressful to him. The committee meets all day and reviews more than one case, so I may hear from them late on Tuesday or it may be even Wednesday. They'll notify you of their decision by overnight mail that will go out on Wednesday, so you should receive it by Thursday afternoon."

Ms. LeMoine informs me of the ways to appeal the decision if they say no. I listen, but 'no' really isn't what we're expecting after I faxed over my letter this past week. Next, she tells me about the procedure when they say "yes."

"I'll be responsible for telling Tyler. I'll probably tell him on Friday afternoon so that, with help from Mrs. Potter, I'll be able to make a quick assessment of how he's handling the idea of moving or address any of his concerns that may come up while he's still in an 'emotionally safe' place, in this case, the Potter home. If he reacts the way I suspect..." she continues "...I'll be giving the go ahead for a court date during the following week. That's when you and your wife will need to make an appearance to take physical custody of Tyler. If I ask for a court date by midweek, I'd say that, by the second week of April, we'd get a hearing date, and you could have Tyler in California by Easter.

After meeting with Ms. LeMoine, I know the procedure if the committee gives their consent for Tyler to move to San Diego. I'd hoped that, after the hearing on Tuesday, I'd get to take him with me, but, of course, it isn't that easy.

I head back to the hotel, wondering what date Easter falls on. At the hotel, I find that Easter Sunday falls on April 16th this year. I'll use that date as a reference. That means that, if everything goes the way it should, we have less than three weeks to get his room ready.

**EVENING**

I'll be checking out of the hotel in the morning to get on the road. I've looked up road conditions and weather forecasts on the internet to help make the trip easier. I've made the trip to San Diego from Washington a few times in the past, but not recently. By leaving from Blacksburg, I've shaved off about three hours from a Washington departure.

It should be about a thirty-six-hour drive, plus a couple of hours for food and gas stops along the way, so I've rounded the travel time up to forty hours. The conference starts on Monday, so I have to be there by then, but I'm hoping to be there before the weekend. I've set a goal to travel ten hours a day.

I'm traveling pretty light. I shipped some clothes to my parents' home before I left Naples, so a stop there for more of my clothes will be necessary after I get into town. However, I did have the foresight to bring a uniform with me in case the box that I shipped doesn't arrive in time for the conference.

I go to sleep with a peaceful feeling that, by week's end, I'll be in San Diego, sleeping in a bed with my wife once again.

**MONDAY, MARCH 27, 2006**

**HOTEL **

**LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS**

When I started out this morning, I was filled with the excitement of a road trip like a child and I managed to stay on the road for twelve hours and push past my original planned stop at Memphis, Tennessee to stop in Little Rock, Arkansas.

I've already picked up postcards in Tennessee and Arkansas for Tyler. I may have to wait until San Diego to mail them, but I plan to pick one up in every state that I travel through.

I open my laptop to see what impact on time my pushing on to Little Rock had on my four day plan before calling it a night.

**TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 2006**

**HOTEL **

**SANTA ROSA, NEW MEXICO**

I started out at six this morning and stayed on the road for a little less than twelve hours. Last night, I'd picked Amarillo, Texas as the place to stop tonight, but once behind the wheel, I pushed farther. It may be because I'm gaining time traveling west or perhaps I'm just excited to get to San Diego, but the trip is going better than I'd thought it would.

My goal of making it through to Albuquerque tonight was too lofty. My eyes got tired, and I had to stop before reaching that destination. I didn't make many stops during the day, either. When I did stop for gas, I tried to pick one of those trucker travel stations so that I could get gas, postcards and food at the same time. Today, I picked up postcards from Oklahoma and Texas. I'll get one for New Mexico tomorrow.

I'm on the laptop again before turning in because, the way I figure it, I've been on the road for twelve hours a day for two days, so a twelve or thirteen hour day tomorrow should put me in San Diego.

I don't get to the map site before I notice that I've got mail. I see a new email from Mac. The 'subject line' reads: TYLER. I quickly click to open her email and notice that it has no greeting or closing. The text area reads: Ms. Lemoine called. She said that official notice from the committee should be here on Thursday, but she believes that we'll be able to pick him up sometime around Easter!

"Yes!" I say out loud into my hotel room before I quickly email her back to tell her how happy I am to get the news.

After sending Mac an email, I move to the maps icon to type in the information to see if my time estimates are correct. Can I make San Diego tomorrow?

**WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 2006**

**BURNETT RESIDENCE**

**LA JOLLA, CA**

I tossed and turned most of last night, so I got on the road a little before five this morning. Once again, I made all-purpose stops. I got postcards from New Mexico and Arizona today. I want to get Tyler a postcard of the California coast where he'll be living instead of the desert areas that I traveled through to get here.

I gained another hour today, so it's about 1800 when I pull up to my parents' home. I want to see if my box has arrived and verify the directions that I have to Mac's condo. I see the car that Mac's been using in the driveway, and it occurs to me that it's Wednesday and that she's here for dinner.

Because I hadn't slept well last night, I was feeling a little drained, but now that I'm a few steps from Mac, I'm rejuvenated. I'm out of the car in a couple of moments and headed up the sidewalk.

I decide not to knock on my parents' door if it's unlocked. Thankfully, the door is unlocked and I go inside. From where I hear voices coming, they're at the back of the house. I'm moving in that direction when, suddenly, the voices are gone. I don't panic because I know the layout of the house. The sudden loss of voices means that they're on the back deck and they've closed the sliding glass door.

I reach the patio door and slide it open. I step out on the deck and see the four of them standing on the deck, looking out over the ocean.

"I hope there's enough dinner for one more. I'm starving," I say to get their attention.

Everyone turns and stares for a moment, but Mac speaks first, "You look tired, too. Do you need a place to stay as well as a meal?" she asks teasingly.

"Do you know of a nice place?" I ask, willing to play this game with her.

"Yes, and it isn't too far from here," she says sweetly.

No one's moved while Mac and I have been having our little exchange, but with a lull in the conversation, they begin to move towards me.

Frank is the first to reach me, and he extends his hand. "Glad to see you. Can I get you something to drink...tea, lemonade or beer?"

"Iced tea," I reply.

"Coming up," Frank says, turning to go retrieve the requested beverage.

My mother is the next to greet me. "Darling, Mac said that you needed to be here for a conference next week, but we weren't expecting you so soon." She gives me a hug. "I'm going to go check on dinner."

"I'll help you, Grandma," Mattie says before she gives me a little squeeze around the waist and follows my mother into the house.

"They've left us alone out here," Mac says. My mind way ahead of her, I'm already closing the distance between us.

Our lips meet in a searing kiss and, when the kiss is broken, I'm not as interested in dinner as I was before.

During dinner, Mac teasingly asks, "You said that you had some things to do before you came out for the conference. Did you get your lecture finished or did you come out early to get me to help you with it?"

"For your information, I had notes from the shipboard rules of engagement class that we gave several years ago and I just elaborated on them to complete my lecture," I inform her, acting insulted that she'd imply that I'd need her help to write it.

"If you weren't working on the lecture, what did you have to do?" Mac asks.

"After the general's inspection, I got some time off as a reward. So I thought that I'd use the extra time off to bring my car out to San Diego to stop those storage fees like we discussed and spend a few days relaxing before the conference," I answer, knowing that Mac is moving the conversation along in a way that will eventually lead us to informing Mattie and my parents that I'm now going to be living in San Diego.

"You _drove_ all that way here?" Mac asks in an astonished tone.

I have my mouth full, so I nod my head in reply.

"Well, no wonder you're tired. You drove all that way in just three days?" Mac asks again as if she doesn't quite believe me.

Once again, I nod my head to answer, but I add, "I was in a hurry to get home."

She just shakes her head as if she thinks I'm crazy.

I think that Mac and I have become so focused on the questions and each other that we've inadvertently eliminated the others from the conversation and lost their attention when Mattie takes the momentary lull in our conversation to change the topic to something important to her.

"In two weeks, I have an appointment to take my road test for my license," she says proudly.

My answer is simple. "I'm moving here in time to witness you getting your license? That's pretty cool...and scary," I add teasingly.

My mother cuts off any further exchange between Mattie and me by asking, "Harm, did I hear correctly? You're moving here?"

After I confirm that she heard correctly, she hugs me and tells me how delighted she is that she'll not only get to enjoy having my family around, but her son, as well. Frank takes the news of my new residence in stride.

Mattie's become quiet during the conversation with my mother. I don't have time to ask Mattie about it before Mac asks me to help clear the table.

Mac doesn't really want my help with the dishes. Instead, she wants to talk to me about Mattie. Mac informs me that, on the plane back, Mattie was happy that I was going to be here for a visit, but her attitude on the subject was different after school on Monday. I've been at this 'woman code' translating for only a short time, so Mac has to spell it out for me. Mattie was apprehensive about me meeting her boyfriend while I was here, and now that she's just found out that I'm moving here and that there's no way that she can avoid me meeting Paul, she's a little scared about my moving here, but Mac assures me that Mattie's also happy about it at the same time because she misses me."

After clearing the table, we thank my parents for dinner, and it's time to go to our home. I was hoping to talk to Mattie and ease her mind on the ride from my parents' home to the condo, but Mattie opts to ride with Mac, and I follow their car.

When Mattie chooses to ride with Mac, it suddenly occurs to me that a lot of big changes are going to take place all at once, changes that are going to impact all of us. The longest that Mac and I have actually lived together was during the week of our honeymoon, which isn't exactly the normal day in and day out living together that we're going to be doing now. That's going to be quite an adjustment in itself. Then there's Mattie. She and Mac have worked out living together quite well, but it wasn't all smooth sailing to reach that stage, and now she's going to have to adjust to having a full-time dad around. Now we're also adding Tyler to our family, which will require some adjustment on our part, but he's going to have the most adjustments to make. He'll have to adjust to a whole new family, a new place to live and a new school.

At the condo, Mac comments about how tired I look for the second time tonight.

"You look so tired. I think that getting some sleep should be your first priority. The place isn't that big, so we can skip the grand tour. You can check it out tomorrow."

"A good night's sleep would be a welcome change of pace," I say to her, but in my mind I'm thinking: Yes, I'm tired, but what I'm really looking forward to is being alone with my wife, and if she's in the mood, I want to make love to her before we sleep.

When we get to our room, I'm happy to see that Mac and I are on the same page tonight. She and I come together to kiss, and I'm not sure which one of us makes the first move, but clothes are discarded at a feverish pace with a sense of urgency caused by our separation, and soon we're in bed, rolling around and exploring each other in ways that we haven't been able to do in months.

After our joining, we cuddle together. I know that our union was rushed, but I don't hear any complaints about my performance. She simply snuggles close to me.

Tomorrow night, I owe her a night of the slow lovemaking that she deserves, but right now I'm enjoying the warmth of her body against mine.

As my eyelids close, heavy from the need to sleep, I silently say a little prayer. Please, God, let all of this work out so that we can all be happy.


	70. Chapter 70

**PART SIX – The General's Visit **

**THURSDAY, MARCH 30, 2006**

**MACKENZIE CONDO**

**LA JOLLA, CA**

This morning, Mac and I were so comfortable wrapped up together in bed that she was slow to wake to the alarm. When she does leave the bed, she's a little rattled because she's preparing her office for inspection by General Cresswell tomorrow morning and mumbles something about, 'not the time to be lying around in bed.'

She's running for the door when I suggest that she needs breakfast. Her reply is, "I'll get a muffin and coffee at a drive thru on the way if I have time. I'll see you tonight."

A quick peck to my lips and she's on the move to the door again. Before she gets out the door, I hear her say "okay" in response to my, "I'll come by your office with something for your lunch."

As Mac was getting dressed this morning, she gave me an overview of Tuesday and Thursday mornings. She informed me that Paul picks up Mattie and takes her to school those two days because Frank picks her up from school and takes her to the gallery.

Paul rings the bell, and I get my first look at him. We've barely had time to shake hands when Mattie's there and pushing Paul towards the door. Mattie tells Paul that she'll be right out and turns to me. "Last night in the car, Mac told me to invite him to dinner so you two can talk. I'll talk to him about it today on the way to school. I don't want to be late, so I've got to go," she says before the door clicks shut behind her.

Paul had a firm handshake, but I'm still not happy that she's dating. After they've gone, I wonder briefly how this system of him picking her up two days a week is going to change when she gets her license in a couple of weeks, and then my mind wonders what seeing him over the dinner table will do to my appetite.

I start my morning by going over to see Frank. I got sidetracked last night and I forgot to find out if the box that I'd shipped had arrived. I have one of those 'duh' moments as I back out of my parking space at the condo. Why didn't I ship the box here to the condo? I guess I'm not as settled into marriage and living together as I'd thought.

My box of clothing arrives while Frank and I are talking. Good timing, I tell myself. After my visit with Frank, it's off to the grocery store. I return to the condo with groceries and, after unpacking them, it's time to take lunch to Mac.

Petty Officer Coates greets me with a sir, but quickly reverts to Harm since I'm in jeans and a pullover shirt instead of in uniform. Jennifer has a little surprise information for me about the purpose of the general arriving tomorrow for the conference and extends me an invitation.

I get a chance to see Mac long enough to drop off her lunch. The fact that I don't stay longer isn't so bad because, after speaking with Jennifer, I have to make sure that my civilian suit weathered the trip and doesn't need to be pressed in order for me to wear it tomorrow.

I have dinner cooking when Mac gets home. She's thrilled to have one less thing to do this evening and runs upstairs to change into something comfortable before dinner.

She returns to the kitchen a few minutes later in sweat pants and a tee shirt, and says that she's starving. She asks if she can help with anything, but it's almost ready, so I tell her to relax and enjoy having me around to cook.

Over dinner, Mattie informs me that Paul will be her date to a gallery event on Saturday evening, and I'll have time to talk to him then if I'm escorting Mac. During dinner, Mac talks briefly about the general's visit tomorrow, but most of her thoughts revolve around shopping for Tyler's furniture this weekend.

After dinner, Mac and I are in the kitchen cleaning up. I'm loading the dishwasher and she's wiping down the counter and stove. "I'd forgotten that you're actually very domestic, but today reminded me. I mean, you did the grocery shopping, made dinner and now you're cleaning up your mess."

I can't see her face, but I can tell by her tone that she's teasing me. "Did you think that my loft cleaned itself?"

"I don't think I really thought too much about it before, but now that you mention it, you'd have to keep the place ready in case you got the chance to invite a woman over whom you wanted to impress."

"I did have you over as often as I could, didn't I?"

"I don't count. You weren't trying to impress me," she says dismissively.

I raise my eyebrow when I ask, "Wasn't I?"

She turns to face me. "You were?" she says like a question and looks shocked.

"I was, but you weren't impressed at all," I reply.

"I wouldn't say that. I thought that you were just cooking for a friend. I didn't want to read too much into your actions and assume that you were trying to impress me like a man trying to impress a woman he's interested in. Besides, we were such good friends, and I had to be careful that I wasn't putting what I wanted it to mean into the mix."

My hands are wet from rinsing the last of the dishes, but I put them on her hips anyway. "I've been trying to impress you from the moment I met you, and before you suggest it, let me say that no, it wasn't because you looked like Diane. Your resemblance to her shocked me, but there was something in your eyes, something that she didn't have that drew me in. I still can't explain it, but I knew from the moment that I met you, though I never expected to fall in love with you, that knowing you would change my life."

She puts her palms on my cheeks and pulls me towards her. "I love you," she says before her lips are pressing into mine.

We continue to kiss for a few minutes because it's simply too enjoyable to stop.

Once we finally break apart and finish with the kitchen, we check to see if Mattie's working on her homework, and then Mac takes a bath to help reduce the stress of the pending inspection of her office tomorrow morning.

After her bath, she comes to bed, and the aroma and softness of her skin from her scented bath oil fills my senses, and it's a delight for me to linger over every inch of her body with my kisses. My attention to her body turns into the slow and passionate lovemaking session that I'd promised myself last night that I'd show her tonight.

**FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 2006**

**JLS OFFICES**

Having been through the general's inspection not too long ago, I'm pretty sure that he's wrapping up his inspection right about now, so I think that I've timed things correctly.

I wasn't invited for any part of the inspection, but Petty Officer Coates was allowed to ask me to appear as Mac's spouse when the general surprises Mac by announcing her promotion immediately following the inspection.

General Cresswell sees that I'm standing out of the way back by the entry doors. "I'm glad that you could make it, Mr. Rabb. Why don't you step forward?"

Mac's face doesn't show the confused look that her eyes express to me. She doesn't suspect what's about to transpire. I hope that I'm conveying 'its okay' with my eyes in return to ease her mind. I feel a few dozen sets of eyes on me as I take my place. I'm guessing that they're people who don't know who I am. The staff that Mac brought with her from Washington knows me, so people like Jennifer will be able to keep the office gossip from getting out of hand, I hope.

With everyone in place, the general congratulates Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie on her promotion to colonel. I'm allowed to give her a very brief congratulatory kiss as her spouse. It's then announced that the dinner at the close of the JAG conference next Friday evening will serve double duty. It will also be a recognition dinner for Mac's new rank.

With the inspection and promotion announcement complete, the staff is dismissed. A few of the staff who I don't know, along with Lieutenants Graves and Mayfield, whom I do know, make their way to us. I see a few, of which at least one I'm sure was staring, migrate towards Jennifer. I'm sure that it's to pump the petty officer for information about me and the colonel.

The first person who's either curious or brave enough to step forward to meet me is Commander Joseph Winston, Mac's XO.

Believe it or not, an introduction can be awkward if you haven't discussed who you are. I'm not in uniform, so my rank doesn't seem of much importance, yet, among military personnel of varying ranks, it could be important at some point.

"Commander Joseph Winston, this is my husband, Ca -" Mac began.

I make a quick decision that, in the 21st century, supporting your wife in her career means that you should be able to set aside yours for _her_ moment in the spotlight. "- Harmon Rabb," I say as I extend my hand to shake his to complete our introduction.

Lt. Graves hasn't changed since we worked together, and she manages to congratulate Mac and tell me that she's glad to hear that I'll be at the conference without taking a breath. Thank goodness there are a few more people wanting to congratulate Mac, so to keep the line moving, she needs to move on.

Last in line is Lt. Mayfield. We've met, but haven't worked with each other, so she congratulates Mac first and then says to me, "It was good that you could be here today, Captain, and it's nice to see you again."

Once I've met the brave who wanted an introduction, we're down to just Mac, the general and me, and she invites him to have lunch with us. He's full of surprises and asks if he can meet us somewhere so that he can pick up Mrs. Cresswell for lunch. He explains that he brought her to San Diego with him this year. They'll spend this weekend doing things that they both enjoy, and she'll do some shopping while he attends the conference.

We've ordered, but only our beverages are on the table when the general asks Mac how she feels about having a sailor underfoot full-time.

Mac laughs and responds to the general with, "It may take some getting used to, but I'm looking forward to it, sir."

We find Mrs. Cresswell to be a combination of my mother and Harriet. When we find out that Dora likes art, Mac invites them to attend the opening night of a local artist's show tomorrow evening at Mom's gallery.

We have a pleasant lunch and, when we stand to leave, the general asks, "How's the knee, Captain?"

"Coming along, sir. I should be running again by next week." I see the fire in Mac's eyes. I'm so busted.

I don't say a word, waiting for Mac to 'blow' after we've parted company with the Cresswells in the parking lot outside the restaurant, but she's silent all the way back to her building. She's been sitting in the passenger's seat with her arms folded in front of her.

Before she gets out of the car, I turn to her, take her hand and make an attempt to explain. "I know. I know. I should have told you, but I didn't want you to worry. There wasn't anything that you could do."

"What happened?" she asks with her lips pursed together, but she hasn't pulled her hand out of mine.

"I was running. I had a million things on my mind and I just wasn't paying enough attention. My foot came down on a section of uneven sidewalk, and I went down. I thought I was okay, but my knee started to swell and I was in pain, so I went to have it checked. The doctor said that I'd be fine. Nothing was broken. I'd just twisted my knee and that I needed to take three weeks off from exercise to let it heal completely and then, when I started back, I shouldn't run long distances every day. I need to vary my regimen to include swimming, running, weights or any other type of exercise that interests me."

"And when did this happen?" she asks, still sounding perturbed.

"March 15th," I reply calmly.

"If you weren't supposed to be exercising for three weeks, why did you race Mattie last Saturday in the pool?" she asks heatedly.

I'm not going to get out of this easily. I put on my flyboy grin before I continue. "My knee was feeling better, and I didn't think about it until after the race. You know, when I lost the race. My knee is the reason why I didn't rib Mattie about wanting out of the rematch the next morning. She might have wanted to go ahead and race, and I knew that it wasn't a good idea because of my knee."

"That smile of yours isn't going to get you out of this one." She pauses. "Now, you told the general that you should be running again next week, but three weeks from the 15th wouldn't make you eligible to run before Wednesday." Now she pulls her hand out of mine. She points her index finger at me and begins to shake it in my direction. "If I catch you or hear of you doing any type of exercise before Wednesday, you'll be sleeping on the couch. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," I say and offer a mock salute.

Her face softens, and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I have to get back to work."

"Yes, it isn't good to let being a colonel go to your head in the first few hours and come back late from lunch," I say, teasing her.

She smiles at the reference to her new rank, gets out of the car and walks towards the door of the building. She's about halfway to the door when she turns around and gives me a wave, resembling a movie star waving to a fan in the crowd. I wave back and watch her go into the building before heading back to the condo.

**MACKENZIE CONDO**

**OUR BEDROOM **

**LATE IN THE EVENING**

We're cuddled in bed after lovemaking. Her arm is across my abdomen and her head is on my shoulder, and when she speaks, her breath tickles the hairs on my chest.

Out of the blue, Mac says, "You know, Lt. Graves likes you."

"She told you that?" I ask in astonishment.

"She didn't have to say anything. A woman knows when another woman thinks that her guy is pretty special, and don't tell me that you didn't notice the way she was looking at you."

"I didn't notice. I had my eyes on you. Lieutenant Graves is a cute kid who worked with me on a case once when I was out this way. She was very enthusiastic and talked non-stop. Besides, I'm in love with a beautiful brunette with wonderful brown eyes."

"That's sweet, but I'll be watching her," she says before lifting her head to place a soft kiss on my lips. After the kiss, she looks me in the eye and asks, "Why did you come in a suit today instead of your uniform and introduce yourself as Harmon Rabb?"

"Captain Rabb wasn't invited. It was an event that your husband was asked to attend to show that he's proud of you and that he supports you. When I show up at the JAG conference, they'll all know soon enough that I'm Captain Rabb. Today, I just needed to be your husband."

"I love you, Mr. Rabb, and I was proud to have you at my side today."

"It's taken me awhile, but I think I finally get it. You aren't complicated, but there are layers to you that have to be looked at individually. Today at the office, you were all Marine: professional, strong and independent. This evening, within the confines of our room, you're a woman: passionate, sensual and sexy. There are others layers, too, and they each need different things. The Marine needs my support, and the woman needs to know that I love her and find her sexy."

"You're becoming very wise." She pauses for a heartbeat before saying, "I want you to know that I think the man in bed with me is very handsome and sexy, too, and I have a hint about what the woman you're in bed with needs now."

A few kisses to my neck and a nibble on my ear, and I know that sleep isn't it.

"You made love to me, and now I want to make love to you," she purrs.


	71. Chapter 71

**CHAPTER TEN - ALL IN ONE PLACE **

**PART ONE – Silly Me **

**SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 2006**

**MACKENZIE CONDO**

**MORNING **

My nose is being tickled by something and, as my hand moves up to scratch it, it brushes the hip of a female form. In my sleep, I must have thought that she was a dream, but I felt her. I move my head, turning my face away from her hair that I now detect has the faint scent of apple to it. The slight movement of my head causes her hair to fall away from my nose, and I pull my head back slightly and open my eyes to see the back of her head.

Our bodies are only a mere inch or so apart, but after all the time that we were separated, it suddenly feels like a canyon, and I quickly rectify that by moving closer and trying to mold my body to hers. When the skin of her back makes contact with my chest, I close my eyes and nuzzle my face into her neck, enjoying the scent of her apple shampoo filling my nostrils. I should probably pinch myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming, but if I am, I don't want to wake up, so there's no point.

This is the third morning that I've awakened here in this bed with her, and it would seem more surreal if it weren't for the tidbits of reality that have been woven into my time here.

Wednesday night when I arrived, the wonderful dream reunion that I'd envisioned was chilled by a cold front named Mattie. Mac did have some insight into Mattie's behavior, but it did little to ease my mind. Though I was glad to be here with them, Mattie's reaction couldn't have come at a worse time for me. A few hours prior, I'd made a stop near Bakersfield to place my weekly call to Tyler. Talking with him without mentioning the committee's decision was harder than I'd imagined. Since Ms. LeMoine had said that she wouldn't tell him of the decision until Friday, I needed to accept her knowledge and experience in cases like this and let her tell him in a way that she felt best for Tyler. To make matters worse, Mac and I had agreed not to tell Tyler that I'll be living in San Diego until he knows that we'll be coming for him to live here as well. So, without being able to tell him that the committee said yes or that I was moving to San Diego, too, my talk with Tyler was shorter than usual, and I've been worried that he might think that something is wrong.

Thursday morning, I got the Tuesday and Thursday morning routines outlined for me as Mac moved around the room and in and out of the bathroom, getting dressed for work. Thursday was also the morning when I met Paul for the first time, but Mattie ushered him out the door so fast that we didn't get to exchange more than hellos and names. However, I was informed that I'd get to actually talk to Paul on Saturday night if I escorted Mac to my mom's art gallery reception.

Friday was Mac's big day, and it could have lingered in my mind as a dream if it hadn't been sprinkled with a little anger and jealousy to bring the day into focus. I was in trouble with Mac for not telling her about injuring my knee two and a half weeks ago. It seems that wives want to know this stuff even if it happens to you on the other side of the globe. Mac's twinge of jealousy over the way that Lt. Graves was looking at me seemed a bit out of character for her, but I found it flattering, even if it was silly.

Today is going to be a busy day, and I'm not sure if picking out furniture for Tyler's room is going to add to my surreal feelings or help me get it through my head that I'm really living the life that I've been dreaming about for the past year - ever since Mac and I got engaged.

I could lie here next to her all day, but the feel of her starting to stir tells me that it won't be long before she's awake. How much longer is it until Easter anyway? She and I both have to attend the JAG conference starting Monday, but I have leave the following week, so furniture buying could wait until then, right?

I kiss her cheek and, when her hand reaches back and pats my thigh, I whisper in her ear, "Let's stay in bed all day."

She replies in a sleepy voice, "Can't...we have to go shopping for what we need for Tyler's room...have to attend your mom's reception tonight...lots of things to do today."

I decide that, if she's set on shopping today, I'd better not push things, but to my surprise, when I reopen that gap of an inch or so between our bodies, she speaks again.

"Can't stay in bed all day, but another hour or so shouldn't keep us from getting everything done."

I chuckle and start to resume the position that we were in, but she rolls her body towards me and slips her arms around my neck. "I don't think that I can go back to sleep. Know of a way that we can spend the next hour or so in bed without sleeping?"

I move my face towards hers and speak against her lips, "I can think of a couple of things." Then my lips touch hers, and this day begins like the ones in my dreams.

**AROUND 1700 **

It's already been a busy day and it isn't over yet. When we got in ten minutes ago, I collapsed in a chair to rest, dropping a couple of shopping bags next to it, but a still very energetic Mac headed upstairs to put her bags in Tyler's room and get ready for my mother's gallery function that starts at seven. I don't know where her energy is coming from. Mac's a little younger than me, but she isn't that much younger than I am, and I'm exhausted.

After getting out of bed this morning, we all had breakfast together and then we drove Mattie to mom's gallery for work before we went shopping. Over breakfast, Mac had said that she'd been looking at furniture for awhile and thought that she knew what she wanted to buy. Silly me, I thought that would translate into being done in a couple of hours tops, and we'd have time to come back to the condo and go back to bed. Boy, was I wrong! After we'd dropped Mattie off, Mac changed the game plan.

*********FLASHBACK*********

"Harm, we should go to all five stores where I've looked for furniture, and if there's someplace else that you want to go, we can add it to the list."

"Why the change in plans?" I inquire, knowing that my afternoon dream activity doesn't stand a chance of coming true if we're going to that many stores.

"Well...I've been looking at furniture from my point of view and I may have ruled out something that Tyler would love. It seems that, no matter the age difference, you being a male makes you better qualified to pick out furniture for our son," she says with a full smile that leaves no doubt that she's happy about the addition that we're about to make to our family.

*********END FLASHBACK*********

We did visit all five stores, but we took a break for lunch after the first three. She'd been doing her homework, preparing for my arrival, and had the name and address of a new bistro that had a selection of vegetarian items on their menu.

We get into the car after lunch, but, in the enclosed space of the car, Mac dials her cell phone. It's time for her weekly call to Tyler. When she hears the ringing phone in her ear, she hits the button on the side of her phone, turning on the speaker. We're both excited, hoping that Tyler's been told the news.

When Miss Nancy calls Tyler to the phone, we hear him yelling as he comes running, "Is it Mac? Does she know that they said yes?"

Tyler's first words into the phone are, "Mac, did Miss Donna tell you that they said I get to come and live with you to see if I like it? If I like it, I can stay forever!"

"Miss Donna told us, and we got a letter in the mail to make it official, but I have more news for you. Someone else is here who wants to say hi to you," Mac replies.

"Hi, Ty," I say into the air, letting the speaker on Mac's phone pick up my voice so that Tyler can hear it on the other end.

"Harm, are you going to be there when I get there?" Ty asks, sounding even more excited, if that's possible.

"Sure am," I answer enthusiastically.

Tyler is so excited on the phone that it's hard to say goodbye, but we all manage to finally say it.

After calling Tyler, we visit the other furniture stores that are on Mac's list, but we end up going back to store number three to make our purchase. It turns out that the one I liked best had been one of Mac's top three. Mac was thrilled that we'd been able to agree on a set so easily, but wasn't happy when the only times available for delivery were Wednesday afternoon between two and six and Saturday between ten and two. She'd been hoping to be able to set up the room sooner, but with both of us scheduled to attend the JAG conference next week, she reluctantly agreed to next Saturday.

Once the furniture was purchased and a delivery date was set, I thought we were done, silly me. With the furniture decided upon, it was off to a different set of stores to purchase the linens in a theme that Tyler had looked at in Virginia when we were there for his birthday.

It took all day, but it's done…well, except for setting it all up next weekend. I know that I need to get up and take the bags that I carried in upstairs, but my knee aches a little. I think that Mac could make a good case for adding shopping as an Olympic sport because I think I got as much exercise today as I do on my runs.

I take a deep breath and stand. The knee aches, but it's holding up, so I head upstairs and put Mac's purchases in Tyler's room before I head to Mac's room to get dressed for Mom's party and my meeting with Paul.

**TRISH'S ART GALLERY **

**LA JOLLA, CA**

**1925 **

I think that Mac has picked her outfit based on my wardrobe when I see her in a blue, knee length, strapless dress trimmed above her breasts in a solid band of the same 'hard to tell' if it's blue or black color from which my suit is made. I have only one suit with me, so my look is the same as at Mac's office on Friday. I'm wearing my dark suit with a light blue shirt that doesn't match, but is close to the base color of Mac's dress, and a black tie that has a metallic stripe of blue running through it. Even if I have to say so myself, Mac and I make a great looking couple.

I didn't see my mother when we entered the gallery, but we've been here for a few minutes, and she must have seen us because she's tugging at my arm, telling me that she has a few friends of hers that she's been dying to introduce me to for ages.

Mac doesn't help me get out of it when she says, "Go ahead. I'll catch up with you in a few minutes. I need to powder my nose."

I'm trying to find something to talk about until my mom returns from whatever minor problem she was called away to take care of after introducing me to three of her lady friends. It's the feel of Mac's hand on my shoulder that eases my tension. "Ladies, I'd like for you to meet my wife ..." Why didn't we learn our lesson yesterday? I know that introducing her as my wife is fine, but is she Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, Mac or Sarah Rabb? We should have talked about this last night. This time, Mac finishes the introductions.

"Between the fact that we've been married only six months and he's been stationed overseas, he doesn't have much practice at calling me his wife. I think the word throws him a little, so allow me to introduce myself, I'm his wife, Sarah Rabb."

My mother returns a few minutes later with a bright smile on her face. After a few minutes of conversation, I'm sure that the smile has to do with being able to 'show off' her son and his wife.

After being able to break away from the ladies, Mac and I make it over to the bar to get something to drink. The trays coming around have only champagne, and neither one of us want that. After getting a drink, we manage to nibble on a few items off the trays of hors d'oeuvres that are being carried around the gallery by the catering staff. We've just decided that we should take a look around at some of the art when Mattie approaches us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb..." Mattie begins "...I must agree with the buzz around the room. You two do make a great looking couple."

"Thank you," I reply.

"Speaking of good looking couples, where's Paul?" Mac asks.

"That's why I was looking for you. I don't know what you said to him the other morning, Harm, but he's nervous about talking to you, so will you go talk to him?"

"Where is he?" I inquire.

"He's back in the alcove of sculptures. I'll take you there."

"Lead the way," I say, releasing Mac's hand.

Mac pecks me on the cheek and whispers, "You two should talk man-to-man, but be nice."

Mattie and I arrive at the entryway to a small room. She pats my arm and says, "I really like him, so please be nice."

As we step into the room and move towards a boy whose back is turned to us, whom I assume is Paul, I think about our meeting on Thursday morning.

*********FLASHBACK*********

I answer the door and see what I've been told is a good looking guy. "Hello, you must be Paul. I'm Harm," I say as I extend my hand for the timeless 'handshake test.' He takes my hand, and he has a solid grip and a firm handshake. "Mattie should be down any second, but come on in."

He steps inside while speaking, "Mr. Rabb, I'm surprised to see you. I mean, Mattie said that you'd be coming to town, but she didn't say that you'd be here so soon."

"I wasn't sure how soon I was going to get here, so she didn't know exactly when I'd be arriving."

We didn't hear her come down the stairs, but Mattie is only two steps away when we hear her speak. "Paul, I'm ready. We don't want to be late. Let's go. I'm right behind you," she says before pushing him out the front door.

*********END FLASHBACK*********

Mattie was the one who pushed him out the door. I was nice. So why have both Mac and Mattie told me to be nice to him?

Mattie makes a formal introduction. "I know that you've already met, but, Harm, this is Paul." She kisses him on the cheek and then makes an excuse that she needs to go check with Trish about something having to do with work, and leaves Paul and me to talk. I wonder if she whispered to be nice in his ear when she kissed him.

I don't have any idea what to say, especially limited by my 'be nice' orders. We stand in silence, staring at a displayed sculpture for a couple of minutes.

"Sculpture is probably the art form that I like the most. I personally don't care for this piece, but there are some here that I like a lot," he says.

"You admire works of sculpture? Are you an artist yourself?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.

"No, I admire it because it requires skills that I don't possess," he chuckles. "I'm an athlete. I hope to compete in my first Tri event here in San Diego in October."

"Tri event?" I inquire curiously.

"Yeah, it's three sports rolled into one event. You swim, bike and run, one right after the other."

"I'd like to hear more about how to get into that. I've always been into running, but was recently told that I need to vary my exercise program. I think adding swimming and biking would give me a variety that I'd enjoy."

"Well, Mattie and I swim on Sunday afternoons at the pool in my neighborhood. Maybe you could come with her and swim with us once in a while."

"That would be nice, but I don't know how Mattie would feel about that," I reply with a smirk.

"Yeah, she can be kind of weird about some things. Like she was all excited when she told me on Monday that her dad was coming to live out here, and then, before the end of school the same day, she was freaking out that having you around was going to ruin everything. You seem like an okay guy to me, so I don't know what she was freaking about."

"Because you and I might not think that the other is okay, and the two of us not liking each other would upset the balance of her world," I offer in explanation.

"I don't get it," the young man says.

"I understand your confusion completely. I'm just now starting to understand some things about women and I suspect that there are some things that I'll never understand." I offer a small smile, one that should put him at ease, but not let him think that his interview is over. "Why don't you show me some of the sculptures that you like while we talk some more?"

**NIGHTTIME **

Mattie had asked if she and Paul could go out to get something to eat before he drove her home. I had no good reason to object to him driving her home, and the only thing that Mac had said to her request was for her to be home by weekend curfew.

In the car on the way back to the condo, I find out from Mac that Friday and Saturday curfew is midnight. Before I can say anything, Mac cautions, "Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. We'll be waiting up to make sure that she's on time. Besides, you two talked for forty-five minutes. Since he still wanted to take her home, you two must have hit it off."

"He seems like a good guy. I'd like him a lot more if he weren't dating Mattie."

"What did the two of you talk about anyway?" Mac asked.

I told her about the sports stuff and his plans to go to college in the fall, even though he isn't a hundred percent sure what his major is going to be at this point, but I left out any references that we made to not understanding women.

We get to the condo, and I follow Mac upstairs. Once in our bedroom, I take her into my arms and brush my lips gently across hers. Her reaction to my kiss is to suggest that, if I brought pajamas, I wear them while we wait up for Mattie before pulling out of my embrace.

Now, both clad in pajamas and robes, we're sitting on the couch, waiting for Paul to bring Mattie home, and I decide that it's time to have that talk about who we are where.

"We need to talk about something," I say.

She looks concerned. "About what?"

"About Harmon Rabb, Captain Rabb, Colonel MacKenzie and/or Sarah Rabb."

Her concern fades and a soft smile appears. "Just the way you were my husband on Friday, tonight, I was your wife. No one at your mother's gathering cares that I'm a colonel, and I'm okay with them not knowing."

"My, you're maturing nicely as well, Mrs. Rabb." I place a soft kiss on her lips. "With us both attending the JAG conference starting Monday, I think we need to be clear on how we'll introduce each other there."

"During the JAG conference, if a situation arises where we have to introduce each other, I'll be Colonel MacKenzie and you'll be Captain Rabb. We should use a strictly professional approach...and I don't think we should sit together either." My eyes must convey either my confusion at her not wanting to disclose the information that we're married or the hurt that I feel, because she continues, "Think about it. You haven't been here even a week yet, and we're still newlyweds. I'll be too distracted sitting next to you to pay attention to the speaker, and that could only lead to speculation by someone who could call our behavior into question. I'm not suggesting that we hide the fact that we're married. I just don't think that we should volunteer the information. By the same token, if someone were to say to you, 'Hey, Rabb, I see that you've added a wedding ring since the last time I saw you. Who's the lucky lady?' I don't want you to lie."

"You know that being too standoffish with each other could send up a red flag, too. The general was at our wedding, so he might think that we're having problems and be concerned that we can't perform our duties without personal issues getting in the way. I definitely think that you've made a valid point about not sitting next to each other during the conference, because, Mrs. Rabb, I become very distracted when I'm sitting next to you. I gave you just the slightest kiss when we got home and now all I seem to be able to focus on are your lips. So I'll agree to go along with your plan to assure that we maintain our military bearing in public among our subordinates and superiors."

"Thank you. Now, how about another kiss?" she says, and soon we're kissing and touching and necking like two teenagers. Two teenagers - not an image that I wanted in my mind with Mattie out with that guy. Mac's tongue gliding over my lips causes them to separate, taking the image away, and all I can think about is how much I love the woman who's in my arms at the moment.

Mattie's key in the door a few minutes later breaks up our make-out session, and we attempt to look innocent as Mattie enters the condo.

"Hi," we say. Mac adds, "You're back early."

"Yeah," she replies.

"Anything wrong?" I inquire.

"No, we just went for ice cream and to talk. He said that you're a pretty cool guy."

"Of course, I'm a cool guy," I reply with conviction.

"He says that you two talked about training for a triathlon in October and that you said that he should come to dinner one night after we all have a chance to get settled in."

"Yeah, why not?" I ask.

"No, it's fine. I was just checking to make sure that you said it, that's all. I'm going to go to bed. Grandma does one of these events every four to six weeks, and when Mac and I just attended them, it was okay, but now that I work all day and go to the event, too, I get really tired. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Mac and I say in unison.

Mac waits until Mattie's about halfway up the stairs before she leans into me. "You realize that by being nice to him, he probably won't be around until October."

"Silly me, I thought when you and Mattie told me to be nice, you meant it."

"You needed to be nice, but not _too_ nice." I hope I look as confused as I feel. "I'll try to explain tomorrow. For now, let's go upstairs..." Her voice purrs the rest of her words. "...where I'll let you be as nice to me as you want to be." She places her lips on mine, and just when I think that she'll deepen the kiss, she pulls away and makes a dash for the stairs.

"No fair. If I do that, you'll accuse me of exercising before Wednesday," I call out to her with a mock pout on my face.

She stops at the top of the stairs and looks down at me. "Your reward for taking your time will be me waiting at some stage of undress. The longer you take, the less I'll have on."

I stop about halfway up the stairs, wondering how long I should take to get there. I'd like to see her in nothing at all, but, sometimes, helping her get that way is half the fun. By the time I reach the top of the stairs, the busy day has finally caught up with me, and I'm feeling really tired. Where does she get her energy?

I open the bedroom door, and she doesn't have anything on. I think I have the energy to do one more thing before I go to sleep.


	72. Chapter 72

**PART TWO – Relax **

Mac and I have slept in about an hour or so, and we're just starting to stir. Again this morning, I've awakened with Mac in my arms and content, but not refreshed.

I haven't rested well since my arrival. I paid no attention to it at first, brushing it aside, excused by the fact I'd spent three twelve hour days on the road traveling to get here and changed eight time zones in the recent past. Since Thursday, Friday and Saturday were such busy days, being overly tired still seemed the most logical reason. However, it was on Friday that I became aware of a feeling that was foreign to me. Even a case of extreme fatigue didn't explain this new and nagging feeling within me.

This morning started with a simple good morning kiss, but it led to us making love. In that area, we're enjoying a second honeymoon. We made love on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights, as well as Saturday morning and night and now, this morning. Perhaps, at my age, I need more sleep and less sex, and that's the cause for my weariness. I dismiss the thought. Frankly, if that's the reason, I've waited too long to be with her, and giving it up for a little rest is out of the question. I'll rest when the newness of each other wears off and our desire wanes naturally, as I understand it does, even though I can't imagine that happening to us.

After Mac and I get out of bed, we shower and get dressed. Mac goes to wake Mattie for breakfast while I head to the kitchen to start some coffee. Mattie's been respectful but distant with me since my arrival. Mac says that I shouldn't push and to let her have some space for now.

I'm cutting up some fresh fruit when Mattie and Mac join me. The kitchen isn't very big, but it has a breakfast bar. Mattie comes in and grabs three plates and silverware and moves to sit at the bar to wait for breakfast to be ready. Mac moves about the kitchen, preparing her fabulous French toast.

When everyone has a plate, we move to the table to eat breakfast as a family. We talk while we eat, and then the information that Mattie's out of school this month comes up. Mac pats my forearm, drawing my attention to her. The look in her eyes tells me that she wants me to leave the topic alone. I don't say anything, but Mattie must sense the tension because she stands and starts to clear the dishes from the table. Mac stands only moments later, kisses the top of my head and then whispers, "I'll explain later."

I follow them into the kitchen to see if I can help, but I'm told, "Relax, we've got it handled."

So I wander around to see if I can find something to keep myself busy. I drove my car a long way and I haven't checked her oil, water or other fluids, so that's what I decide to do. I pop my head back into the kitchen to tell them that I'm going outside to check over my car. They both say, "Have fun," and I head outside.

Paul shows up to pick up Mattie for their Sunday swim while I still have the hood up. He approaches the car. "She's a beauty, Mr. Rabb. Mattie didn't tell me that you drove a cool set of wheels."

"Maybe she doesn't see it as a cool set of wheels. Some girls don't understand the concept of what a car can mean."

"That could be it." He pauses. "Can I ask you something, sir?"

I'm expecting some more 'car talk' so I say, "Sure, I'm not doing anything else at the moment."

"Why is Mattie mad at me?" Paul asks.

Oops, I should've said 'no, you can't ask me anything,' but I had to go and 'be nice'.

"Why do you think she's mad at you?" I ask.

"She agreed to go have ice cream with me last night, but she didn't say much. After she asked what you and I talked about at the gallery, she seemed to be in a hurry to get home."

"You didn't say anything about not understanding women, did you?" I ask, concerned that, if Mac finds out, I'll be in trouble, too.

"No, sir," Paul states emphatically.

"I don't think she's mad at anyone. I think she was expecting a certain reaction from me about you. When she didn't get what she expected, it confused her. Give her a little time to sort it out. I'm sure that it'll work out the way it's supposed to work out."

We talked a few more minutes, mostly about my car, before Paul says that he should knock and let Mattie know that he's here.

Mattie and Paul leave, and Mac and I are alone. Mac first uses our time to assure me that Mattie being home alone while we're at the conference will be okay.

That boy being out of school at the same time is my problem with Mattie being home all day with no adult supervision.

Then Mac clues me in on her plan. Though Mac says that she trusts Mattie, it turns out that she has the same concern as I do about how much we can trust the boy before she tells me that she's set up a safety net. Frank will be popping in for a surprise inspection on her sometime during the day. He'll let us know if there's anything to worry about. Tuesdays and Thursdays, Paul will be allowed to pick up Mattie and take her to the gallery for work. My mother, she explains, has asked Mattie to work the full day while she's out of school, so my mother will be driving Mattie home.

After giving me some peace of mind about Mattie and her boyfriend, it's time to move on to something else. Because of our buying trip yesterday, our next activity is to look over Tyler's room for the best possible furniture placement. After we've imagined the furniture in every possible position, it's time for lunch.

Over lunch, Mac says that I still look tired and recommends that I take a nap. I ask her to join me, but she says that I won't get any rest if she comes to bed, too.

I'm lying on the bed, trying to put my finger on the cause of my odd feelings. I close my eyes and wonder if it's just the pains of settling in. I start to dismiss the thought because I've moved before without feeling like this. However, I've never moved in with my wife and daughter with our son about to join us – it could be just from settling in.

I'd talk to Mac about my feelings, but I don't know how to describe them or what's causing them, so what would I say? I stay prone on the bed for a little over an hour before I decide that sleep isn't going to happen.

After my failed attempt at a nap, I go downstairs to find Mac sitting on the couch, looking over some files. She must sense my presence because she doesn't look up before she speaks.

"Did you get any rest?"she asks.

"No, I think that I'm spoiled already." She looks up at me from the open file on the coffee table. "I couldn't sleep without you there," I say as I sit down on the couch next to her. "Anything that I can do to help with your work?"

"No, I'll be finished in a little while and then I'll start dinner."

"I can go see what I can whip up while you finish working," I offer.

"You traveled a long way, and we both have to attend the conference tomorrow, so use this time to relax," she says, patting my knee.

"I'll be on a week's leave when the conference is over. I can rest then," I counter.

"With any luck, we'll be traveling to pick up Tyler, and you'll be spending time with him while I'm at work, so I don't know how much rest you'll get then, so rest and relax now while you can," she replies, countering my statement.

"When will Mattie be back? Maybe she and I can do something together, or at least talk." Maybe my problem is that I'm bored, I think to myself.

"She won't be in until dinnertime. She leaves after breakfast. Then they swim and have lunch before he brings her home."

"I guess I'll go find something to do so you can finish your work," I say with a sigh as I get up from the couch.

Unsure of what to do with my free time, I head back upstairs. I unpacked my uniforms when I pulled out my suit on Thursday afternoon, but I decide to make sure that I have a uniform ready for tomorrow. However, when I look on the back of the closet door where I left them, the uniforms aren't there. I look around in the closet and the bedroom, and I can't find them.

I go back downstairs to ask Mac if she's seen them. Her answer is that she hung them in the little closet in the hall outside our bedroom so they wouldn't get knocked off the closet door and get wrinkled while lying crumpled on the floor.

I go back upstairs to finish my task of having a clean and properly adorned uniform for tomorrow. I go into the bedroom with the ready uniform and look in the bedroom closet. The closet is full: uniforms, dresses, shoes, purses - full. I have only part of my uniforms with me, and with the rest of them and my civilian wardrobe on the way here, I have to wonder where my clothes are going to go.

I go downstairs to see if Mac's still working, but I hear voices coming from the kitchen. In the kitchen, I find that Mattie has returned, and she and Mac are dicing and chopping vegetables. I ask if I can help, but it seems that I've interrupted a 'girl talk' and I'm told that I should try to relax. They suggest that maybe I can find a movie that I want to watch to occupy my time. Then, if the movie isn't over before dinner's ready, I can finish watching it after dinner.

I go out to the living room and start to investigate their movie collection. I find a comedy that, from the synopsis on the back of the DVD cover, sounds like it might be exactly what I need to 'relax.'

The movie was funny, and the laughter has made me feel some better. Mattie's appearance in the living room while I'm looking over some other movie jackets tells me that's it's later than I thought because dinner is ready. When I inquire about what we're having, I'm told that it's a vegetarian soup that she found while searching the net.

I'm pleased that Mattie's speaking to me. Over dinner, she doesn't say much, but she is sitting with us, and the air in the room seems warmer this evening.

It's the same as with breakfast. Mattie and Mac do the clean up and tell me, "Try another movie and just relax."

I search through a few more covers and find no movie of interest, but the title of one movie, 'Running Man,' does give me an idea. I relax by running and I haven't been able to run in almost three weeks. My body has to be revolting against the lack of physical exercise.

I go to the breakfast bar and lean over it to let them know that I think I'm going to take a walk around the condo complex. "You know, check out my surroundings, do a little recon."

Mac smiles. "Then you should know that, when you get to the corner where you turn to get out of our parking section, the shelter on the corner is the location of our mailboxes. If you go to the right, it'll take you farther back into the complex, and that's where you'll find the community pool. If you go left and take the first left after that, you'll find the little park area."

"I'll check out at least one of those."

"Walk, Mister. It isn't Wednesday yet." I'd turned to walk away, so I pretend not to hear her last comment. I take another step towards the stairs to go up to change into running clothes and I also hear her tell Mattie, "He may start out walking, but he'll come back having run at least part of the way." She sure knows me well.

I walk to the pool area first. I find out that there's also a gym in the pool house. That's very handy with me needing to start to diversify my exercise program. I jog away from the pool area and head for the park.

I walk around the park. It's a pretty well thought out place. The areas are labeled 'walking trails,' picnic area' and 'playground.'

I leave the park running. By the time I get to the door of the condo, I've managed to work up a sweat. I hope the coast is clear and that I can make it to the shower before I get busted by Mac.

I don't see either of them when I enter Mac's condo. I get upstairs to Mac's room to shower, and I'm in and out in less than five minutes. I come back into the bedroom and pull a clean pair of boxers out of my bag. I sink down heavily on the edge of the bed, overcome by the emotions that I feel as the pieces of the puzzle fall suddenly into place and I can see the complete picture.

Mac's condo? Mac's room? I need to start thinking of it as _our_ home, _our_ room, but it's so hard. Mac's furniture all over the place makes every room hers, and I'm living out of a duffle bag. To make matters worse, I don't see where even a few of my things can be squeezed in to make it ours. I need to get over that feeling and realize that I'm not just a visitor...I'm home.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed with my towel wrapped around my waist and my boxers in my hand, wondering what I should say or if I should talk to Mac about it.

I'm thinking of ways that I might be able to phrase it. 'Mac, I need some space for my stuff.' How about, 'Mac, do you have a plan for where to put my clothes?' I'm forming potential sentence number three when I feel her presence. I watch as the door opens, and she comes in and closes the door behind her.

"Mattie and I finished cleaning up the kitchen, and I finished the work that I'd wanted to get done today. I meant to ask earlier. Did you find your uniforms?"

"Yeah, they were right were you said you'd put them."

"Harm..." Her voice is shaky like she's nervous. "...I owe you an apology."

"An apology for what?"

"For moving your uniforms. I'll bet my moving them made you feel like I was moving you out of our room, that maybe I didn't want you here, but I really was just trying to make sure that they stayed crisp and clean. I do want you here. I just didn't think about everyday stuff like closet space that you'd need when you told me that you were being transferred here."

I extend my arms and pull her to me. She sits on my lap with a sigh of relief. "I've seen your closet. There isn't any room for my clothes."

"Tomorrow after the conference, I'll clear out a couple of dresser drawers so that you'll have room for your socks and underwear while you and Mattie cook dinner." She grabs the boxers that I hadn't realized that I was still clutching and tosses them across the room where they land on top of her, no, _our_ dresser. On Saturday, we'll tackle the big job of reorganizing the closet to give you some room in there while we're waiting for the furniture to be delivered. We'll set up Tyler's room on Sunday." She takes a breath. "I don't know how we'll get you some space in the bathroom because there isn't even room for my things in there," she says before she lets out a girlie giggle.

"You don't need to apologize. I understand. Moving in here with you and Mattie has seemed strange to me. Not bad, but different from being just transferred. When I thought about us finally living together, I didn't think about the adjustment period that we'd all need. You and Mattie have your lives and schedules all worked out, and my presence alone puts a monkey wrench in it, and to add to it, I expected to jump in and be part of it immediately."

She stands up and starts to take off her clothes. "I think you should lose that towel and climb into bed. I'll strip down, and we'll talk and cuddle."

I'm out of the towel in a second and under the covers. I watch as she peels off her clothing an item at a time. She's down to her bra and panties when she asks, "How was your run?"

"It was..." Damn it! I just blew it, but I was focusing on her. She's almost naked, so I think that constitutes entrapment.

"It's okay. You must have needed it because you seem more relaxed."

She slips her body under the covers, moves next to me, and we cuddle. We enjoy the feel of our bodies touching and the way it warms our hearts to be this close for a few minutes in silence.

When the silence is broken, she says, "I thought about how good it would be for you to be here to help guide Mattie as she goes through the stages of her first relationship. I thought about how wonderful it was going to be for Tyler to have his dad living with him instead of just talking to him on the phone, but I worried if doing 'guy stuff' with him would bring up pleasant memories or sad reminders of your father since you grew up in this area."

I kiss her forehead and give her shoulders a little squeeze. "I thought about being around to scare off Mattie's boyfriend. I thought about walking on the beach with you, hand in hand, while Tyler splashes in the shallow water a few feet in front of us. I guess I didn't worry about anything because I was going to be here with you, and that makes everything all right in the end. I also thought about how nice it was going to be to wake up next to you every morning."

Her hand starts to move across my chest. "I thought about what wonderful dreams I was going to start having because I'd be sleeping next to you and I'd be so relaxed after you and I..." She rolls her head to place a kiss on my chest where her head was resting a second ago. Her kisses make a trail up my neck before our lips meet for the first time since this morning.

As my body reacts to her touch, I admit to myself that making up for lost time in this area is one of the things that I'd thought about, too.

She moves her body to straddle mine, and I have to admit that her being on top isn't a bad thing at all, and I really like this second honeymoon that my arrival here has given us the opportunity to have.

It may be a little early for sleeping, but after she collapses onto my chest after bringing a smile to both of our faces, I'm so relaxed that I doze off.


	73. Chapter 73

**PART THREE – A Week From Today **

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 2006**

It was in the car on Monday morning while driving to the first day of the conference that Mac reviewed our introduction procedures and then tried to use her logic to cement my cooperation in going along with them.

*********FLASHBACK TO MONDAY*********

"Harm, it isn't that I don't want people to know that we're married. I just think that it's important to keep our professional lives and our personal lives as separate as possible. When you factor in Mattie dating, adopting Tyler and you moving in, we've got enough on our plates without us having to deal with speculation and rumors. It's only for this week. I may be overreacting, but humor me, Harm. I just want us all to have a smooth transition. Not being the topic of water cooler gossip is one thing that we can avoid with minimal effort that will help with that."

"I understand your thought process, Mac, but I do think that you're overreacting. I also think that you're only suggesting what you think is best for us, both personally and professionally, so I'll humor you and go along with it for this week."

*********END FLASHBACK*********

Each morning before the conference begins, there's been an informal gathering over coffee. This morning is no exception and, as with past mornings, Mac and I get a cup of coffee and mingle among the other attendees. She did have a point about us not sitting together, I think as I find a seat this morning. I don't think I could concentrate on the lectures with her next to me.

I've barely had time to settle into my seat and pull out a notepad before today's session is called to order. After the first speaker is introduced, another day of work has officially begun.

The morning sails by, and we're soon being secured to go to lunch. Perhaps time has gotten away from me because I've been rehearsing my lecture in my head all morning. I'm on immediately after lunch, and I have a good block of time because I'm one of four speakers whose topic has been given time for a Q&A session following the presentation.

At our morning break, Lt. Graves informed me that the general is requesting my presence for lunch today, so no lunch with Mac again. Mac was seated at his table for lunch on Monday, which, when we got home, I found out that he'd requested her presence. Yesterday, he requested my presence at his table, so I was hoping that we'd be able to have lunch together today. I mean, we did work together for nine years at HQ. Who could make something out of us having lunch together?

Lunch is less than appetizing or I'm just not interested in food before my turn at the podium. I can't say that I feel nervous, but, at the same time, I'm not thrilled with the assignment either. The bright spot is that the assignment got me to San Diego at least a week earlier than I would've been able to without it.

At the conclusion of my lecture, I get a nod of approval from the general from his seat near the podium. There's no preparing for a Q&A session, so all I can hope is that no one asks me something that I can't answer or at least use evasive maneuvers to avoid answering. In front of all these JAG lawyers, bluffing isn't a good idea.

After my part is completed, it's time for our fifteen minute afternoon break, and I'm ready for it. A few questions were thought-provoking or controversial, and I could use a couple of minutes to shake off the harrowing experience of being under pressure to answer them without giving my personal opinion.

Normally, everyone who leaves their seats during the break are bound for one of three places: the head, the designated smoking area or the vending machines, but Mac and I made arrangements at home this morning to meet outside so that we can call Tyler at my usual time and both speak to him via the speaker phone feature of one of our cell phones.

To our surprise, Tyler answers the phone. "Harm, is it you?" We hear someone, probably Miss Nancy telling Tyler that it wasn't the proper way to answer the phone.

"Yes, it's both Mac and I. We're working, so we can't talk very long, but we're using Mac's speaker phone so that we can both hear you and talk to you at the same time."

Mac speaks up so that he knows that she's there, "Hello, Tyler, did you have a good day at school?"

He sounded so happy at first, but when he speaks again, he sounds sad. "Miss Donna said that I wouldn't get to talk to you very long today, because she needs to talk to you."

"Do you know what she wants to talk to us about?" I inquire.

"Huh uh, but since she didn't tell me, I think it's because the people have changed their minds and I can't live with you."

"I don't think that's it. Is Miss Donna there?" His heartbreaking tone is getting to me, and Mac's forgotten all about standing too close and is firmly grabbing my arm like she's shoring herself up for bad news.

"Yes, she's talking to Miss Nancy in the kitchen."

"Can you ask her to come to the phone? We'll talk to her and then, if there's time before we have to go back to work, we'll talk to you some more. If we can't talk more today, we'll talk again on Saturday, okay?"

"Okay." He sounds happier now, but not as exuberant as when he first answered the phone. "I'll get Miss Donna."

He puts down the phone, and we can hear him calling for Miss Donna. I look at Mac, but I can't stand to see the tears that have welled up in her eyes at the thought of being this close and then losing him.

It's only a couple of moments before Donna LeMoine picks up the receiver.

"Hello. I'd say Mr. Rabb, but Tyler says that you're both there, so hello Mr. and Mrs. Rabb."

I want to just blurt out to get to the point, but I use my manners. "Hello, Ms. LeMoine. Tyler says that you wanted to talk to us. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. I waited through the weekend in order to say that I'd observed him, but I knew that Tyler was ready, so I called Monday afternoon to get possible court dates. Since you're coming in from out of state, they called me this afternoon with several choices. I knew that you'd call Tyler this evening, so I thought that it would be the easiest way to ask you which date would be best for the two of you so that I could get the court date set for you tomorrow."

I feel Mac let out the breath that she'd been holding at the good news when she'd been anticipating bad news. She probably felt me do the same. Our choices are Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, or we'll have to wait until after Easter.

We tell her that we'll call her right back after checking our calendars. Mac and I hang up and have a brief discussion. My schedule is clear next week, and Mac has three days off coming as her reward from the general for a superb job with inspection, but she'll need Monday to make arrangements to be out of the office for three days. We're discussing leaving Monday night and taking the Tuesday afternoon court date and time, but Mac remembers that Mattie has her driver's test appointment on Tuesday, but it's at 1000. If we leave Tuesday afternoon or evening, we'll get in too late to see Tyler, but we'd be able to make a court appointment anytime on Wednesday.

We call Ms. LeMoine back to say that we want the Wednesday court date and time, and ask if returning to San Diego on Thursday would be a problem. After confirming all the information with her, Ms. LeMoine suggests that we talk to Tyler. She explains that she should've realized that Tyler would assume the worst and that she should've told him sooner what she wanted to talk to us about. Since he needs to get ready for bed, she asks that we keep it brief, but to let him know that we're coming for him next week.

We talk to Tyler briefly, but with four minutes and thirty-two seconds left of our break and one more call to make, it's time to say goodbye. Our other call is to Mattie and my parents. Mattie is with them at their house because we'll be going there after work for dinner tonight. Mattie is a wiz with a computer and the internet, so we ask her to check on available flights so that we can book something when we arrive for dinner. She's very concerned when we tell her that we need to leave on Tuesday.

"Tuesday, but my driver's test is on Tuesday," she whines.

Mac is quick to explain that, if we take a late afternoon flight, say a 1500 flight, we'd be in around midnight, Eastern Time.

"We can get both done if we work together," Mac tells Mattie.

After getting off the phone, we're giddy with the excitement of having a court date, and our good mood makes the rest of the day go by quickly. So, before we realize it, we're being dismissed until tomorrow. However, the general stops me on my way out. He wants to congratulate me on my fine presentation today and ask my opinion on a topic of interest that was touched upon during the Q&A.

The question posed to me during the session was: 'Do you think, as an aviator, you're more qualified or sure of the calls you make to execute targets than other JAGs?'

General Cresswell poses the question, "Should it be required for all JAGs to do a tour in a war or combat zone?"

My evasive style doesn't work on the general. He tells me that he wants my answer to reflect my real opinion on the matter without any pressure to be politically correct, and I'm to ignore his command position. The topic is complicated, and it takes a few minutes for me to express my opinion on the matter to an extent that he feels that I've answered his question, and I'm satisfied that he understands my position.

Since I was held up by the general, Mac is impatiently waiting for me by the car. I don't think that she really minded waiting on me as much as she's anxious to get to my parents' house and book our tickets to Virginia.

Because the general delayed my departure, we arrive just as dinner is ready. Mac and I are having a hard time eating when we haven't made plane and hotel reservations yet.

Frank puts an end to our squirming after a couple of minutes when he says, "You two can relax and eat. I booked tickets for all of us to go get Tyler as soon as Mattie told us that you'd called and wanted her to check into it for you. I booked us at the same hotel as before, too, the Blacksburg Hotel, and flagged us as being late check-ins. After dinner, I'll show you the schedule and make sure that it's okay...and before you say anything, you don't owe me a penny. I want something other than money."

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I want to baby-sit. He's going to be out of school like Mattie, and I want to have him with me while you two are at work. We can use the next couple of weeks to try it out. If it goes well, I'll watch him when he's sick and can't go to school or if you newlyweds want to go out on a date some night, that kind of thing. What do you say?"

Mac replies, "Frank, we don't want to impose on you."

"He's my grandson." Frank is beaming with pride. "It's no imposition. I'm volunteering."

Frank has a pleading look in his eyes that makes Mac and me agree to give it a try, hoping that the seven-year-old won't be too much for him to handle.

Dinner is especially delicious this evening since it's vegetarian lasagna, one of my favorites, and it's made even better by the news that we have a court date so that a real countdown to Tyler's arrival can begin. The dinner conversation is almost exclusively about Tyler, and even Mattie seems happy this evening. It's probably the first genuine, unforced smile that I've seen her have since I arrived.

Since it's been such a good day, it's difficult to let the evening end, but Mac and I have to attend the JAG conference again in the morning.

When we arrive back at the condo after dinner, Mac goes to the kitchen. She's been in sort of a daze since we confirmed the date with Ms. LeMoine.

I go to see what she's doing in the kitchen and I find her writing our travel days and hearing date on the dry erase calendar on the refrigerator. She's staring at the magnetic board and says, "A week from today...a week from today, he'll be with us."

Mac still seems stunned by it all when we go to our bedroom for the night. As we get ready for bed, Mac seems so preoccupied, and when she slips on a silky, knee length nightgown, I think that this will be the first night that we haven't made love since my arrival.

I'm pleasantly surprised when she presses her lips to mine in a sweet kiss. She whispers, "I love you," as she pulls her lips away. "I hope this isn't going to be too much for you all at once," she adds with concern. "You move in here, and we aren't really ready for you, and then you get no time to settle in before we're adding someone else."

"Things are coming together a little fast, but it doesn't matter because there's no other place I want to be...and you're the reason why this is where I want to be."

"You're only this way with me, aren't you?" Mac asks in a seductive whisper.

"Yeah, only with you." My lips come to hers, and I kiss her softly at first and then more passionately.

There's no sign of the command Marine in her tonight, only the soft woman as she encourages my kisses. Her response to my kisses and my touch - she doesn't stop my hand from pushing her nightgown up her thigh - tells me that she doesn't want me to stop.

Slowly, I make love to my wife. Spent and sated from our lovemaking, it's time to rest.

As we let sleep claim us, the thought that, when we awake, there'll be only six more days to go before we're all in one place, makes tonight that much sweeter.


	74. Chapter 74

**PART FOUR – You Can Call Me Captain Yahoo **

**FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2006**

When we'd pulled into the parking lot yesterday morning, someone on their cell phone had given us cause to pause. We'd looked at each other. Our call to Tyler the previous afternoon had been so emotional that our close proximity had been natural. So it hadn't occurred to us until we'd seen the woman outside talking on her cell phone that we'd given it a thought. How would someone who'd seen us have viewed the situation?

We'd exited the car, prepared to be honest with anyone who inquired about why we'd been so 'cozy.' We'd stayed at a proper military distance, but we'd enjoyed each other's company over coffee, waiting for someone to say something, but no one had approached us by the end of the pre-session gathering. Apparently, with the mad dash from the head to the snack machines, no one had seen us. Or perhaps we simply hadn't appeared to others to be standing as intimately close as touching each other had made us feel.

After being called to order this morning, the first speaker will give a recap of yesterday's speakers with their key points reviewed. After the review, our speaker is Regional Director of NCIS Operations, Jonathon Landon, for whom they've set aside a rather large block of time to speak on the topic of 'NCIS Procedures and Protocol.' I think the topic sounds a little boring, but his demeanor and tone during his presentation should give me some insight into the environment at my new duty station.

When the director is introduced, four men file onto the stage. A short, stocky, gray haired man in his mid to late fifties moves to the podium first.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Regional Director of NCIS Operations, Jonathon Landon. This morning, I've brought some people with me to help explain the procedures that we use and how we should work together. I understand that the new senior JAG officer who's going to be assigned to us is in attendance this morning, so I hope that he or General Cresswell will arrange for me to meet him sometime today. Any questions that you may have about our presentation or about NCIS in general will be answered after the break when I'll hold a question and answer session that will take us up to lunch." He pauses. "Now, I'd like to introduce the people whom I've brought with me so that you won't get tired of hearing my voice: leader of team one, Victor Michaels; leader of team two, Richard Sinclair; and leader of team three, Vernon O'Malley."

The director continues by explaining that they currently have three primary teams and two secondary teams. A support staff of researchers, crime scene investigators, ballistics, lab techs, medical examiners and members of JAG are all separate departments that support the teams.

Each of the four men had their time at the podium. It was obvious while each spoke that they are very different from the director and each other.

My impression of the director is that he lets his people do what they know how to do with minimal supervision, reminding me of the admiral. I know that my first couple of weeks there, I'll have to go through the 'proving myself' ritual of checking with him before doing anything, but aside from that, I think my new assignment is looking pretty good.

Victor Michaels comes across as skilled and confident, a man who knows that he's earned his position and has nothing to prove.

Richard Sinclair comes across as arrogant and with a bit of a chip on his shoulder. I'm betting that he'll be the one that I butt heads with the most.

Vernon O'Malley is seasoned, and his experience showed as he presented his part. He looked older than the director and seemed a bit tired until he began to speak. His voice was chipper and full of enthusiasm as he described his current duties as supervisor of the 'cream of the crop' new agents.

I didn't find the topic all that interesting, but observing the men with whom I'll probably have the most contact is useful, and I'm disappointed when we're told that it's time for our break.

Since the director is going to conduct a Q&A after the break, I know that he'll hang around, so I set out to find him to introduce myself.

Men of power tend to stick together, so my guess is that I'll find him with General Cresswell. It doesn't take me long to find them, and the director and I meet.

The three of us have been talking for nearly half the break, so I start to make preparations to get away to see what Mac's doing for lunch.

"It's been a pleasure to meet you, Director Landon, but I'd like to get something to drink before the break ends."

Before I can get away, the general has something to say. "A break isn't enough time for the two of you to talk. The director is joining me for lunch, Captain. Why don't you join us?"

After accepting the general's lunch invitation, I excuse myself. I don't see Mac, so I go to get a drink out of the vending machine before our break is over.

I enter the little lounge area that has two tables and a handful of chairs, but the focus of the room is the five or so vending machines along the far wall. I don't see Mac in here either, but Agent Sinclair is talking with several young JAG officers whom I've never met in the corner near the soda machine.

I move closer to the soda machine and reach into my pocket for change to purchase my drink when I hear Sinclair talking. It isn't my intention to eavesdrop, but he isn't exactly whispering, and the question that I hear as I approach has me listening closely.

"Do any of you know Colonel MacKenzie? She and I worked together a few weeks ago to bring in a Marine from Mexico. Since I've managed to uncover Intel that part of tonight's close of conference dinner is a celebration of her promotion, I made sure that I scored an invitation."

I hear a couple of the other men mumble something, but I can't make out what they say, and soon Sinclair is running his mouth again.

"Think about it. It's perfect timing. She'll be celebrating and, after a couple glasses of cheer, she'll be relaxed and ready for a wild night." He pauses. "You guys had better alert the fire department because, with a body like hers, we're bound to start a fire," he says before breaking into a hearty laugh.

His laugh at the end like he's holding a locker room recap of his weekend exploits makes my skin crawl and my fists clench.

I must have been putting my coins into the soda machine and making my selection on auto pilot because it's the sound of the can dropping into the delivery tray that silences the chant inside my head: 'Don't hit him here, too many witnesses.'

I hear one of the young men to whom he's been speaking say, "I met the colonel the first day of the conference. She's a nice looking woman…who's wearing a wedding ring."

Another guy says, "I hear that her husband is a JAG, too."

I think that those two officers have just kept me from losing my stripes, but Sinclair isn't finished running his mouth.

"Yeah, she told me that she was married to some JAG. He's currently stationed in Europe, though. When you think about it, he deserves what he gets. He's a yahoo for leaving a woman who looks like that alone. She needs a man, and, at least for tonight, I plan to be that man," Sinclair says with a great deal of confidence.

Okay, that does it. I'm joining this conversation, invited or not. As if Mac has sensed that I'm about to commit career suicide, she appears. When I see her, I swallow hard and say, "Hey, Mac." I'm trying to convince myself that Sinclair was only spouting words and that I shouldn't let his words end my career as I take a step towards Mac, but the guy is pushing his luck as he cuts in front of me and is now between us.

"Hello, Colonel. It's nice to see you again," Sinclair says, sweetness and innocence dripping from his words.

As she replies, I take a place at an acceptable military distance by her side. "Hello, Agent Sinclair. How have you been?"

"Fine. Why don't I fill you in over lunch?" he asks.

"That won't be possible. I'm having lunch with your director and General Cresswell," Mac replies.

"Excellent, Colonel, we'll be having lunch together today. I've also been asked to join the general and the director for lunch," I say. I'm also taking great pleasure in the deflated look on Sinclair's face.

Mac speaks again, "Please excuse my manners. Special Agent Richard Sinclair, this is Captain Harmon Rabb."

I know that Mac won't understand, and if she finds out why I said it, I may feel her wrath, but he's a smart man. He'll get my meaning. "But you can call me Captain Yahoo," I reply, looking him squarely in the eye.

I get the strangest look from Mac, but before she can say anything, I continue on hurriedly, "Isn't it time to head back in for the Q&A session?"

"Yes, it is," she replies.

"Excuse us, Agent Sinclair, but duty calls," I say before Mac and I turn. Without thinking, my hand moves up to the small of her back as we make our way back to the meeting room.

Along the way, she wants to know what I meant when I told him that he could call me Captain Yahoo. I put her off. "I'll tell you later." She doesn't have time to push me for more because we need to split up to take our seats in different sections.

Even though only Director Landon has returned for the question and answer segment, which he explains is so that his agents can get back to work, I'm having a hard time concentrating because I can't let go of Sinclair's comments.

I'm better during lunch, but still tense.

Mac and I have to go to the afternoon session of the conference without having had a chance to talk privately. In fact, we don't have a chance to talk until the car ride home to change clothes for dinner, and when I tell her about overhearing Sinclair talking about bedding her this evening, she's upset with _me_.

"Why would you let that kind of talk get to you? Don't you think that I'm capable of handling a man who's coming onto me? Or don't you think that I know how to say no?" she snaps.

"I think you're a very capable woman, capable of saying no and capable of handling a man who's coming onto you, but I don't think that you should have to do it. I think that he should respect the fact that you told him that you're married." Why do I sound defensive? I haven't done anything wrong.

"I love you. Do you know that?" she says softly and lovingly.

Her tone has changed dramatically, and her change in gears has thrown me off. "I love you, too," I reply, not certain about what just happened.

We have polite conversation the rest of the way home, but I'm still confused by her original response. It isn't until we're home in our bedroom changing that I feel comfortable enough to broach the subject.

Her answer is, "My first impression was that you didn't think that you could trust me, and you were being possessive and jealous, but when you said that it was about him respecting the fact that I was married, I understood that you were just being protective and sweet...and I love you for that."

We wait to leave for dinner until Paul has picked up Mattie for their date for dinner and a movie, but as the time for dinner nears, my tension begins to build again.

Mac and I are keeping a professional distance, but she hasn't left my side. I continue to be tense and on edge at the restaurant while we wait for dinner to be served. In the meantime, I'm watching for Sinclair. If he shows, I haven't ruled out knocking him on his ass.

Mac and I sit next to each other at dinner. There's been no sign of Agent Sinclair and, with Mac at my side, I'm able to relax as dinner is served.

At one point during dinner, Mac drops her hand below the table and puts it on my knee, giving it a little squeeze.

I'm feeling better by the end of dinner. Sinclair is a no show. However, the best part of the evening for me comes after dinner. I'm standing next to Mac as she receives a line of well wishers on her promotion, and she introduces me as her husband, Captain Harmon Rabb, JAG Corps, soon to be Director Landon's senior JAG officer.

Being able to let go of the Sinclair issue, and with the fact that the JAG conference is now officially over, I'm much more relaxed and, seeing no reason to waste the nice civilian attire that we donned for the evening, we stay and enjoy a little dancing before we head home.

We arrive at the condo only minutes before Mattie returns from her date.

We spend a few minutes with Mattie, swapping stories about how our evenings went before we call it a night and head upstairs.

With everyone safe and at home for the night, it's time for some sleep. Of course, before sleeping, Mac and I end our evening the way we've been doing every night since I arrived here.

Holding her in my arms after our lovemaking, I can't believe how happy I am.

As my eyes drift closed, I say a word of thanks to the 'man upstairs' for allowing me to be here with her.


	75. Chapter 75

**PART FIVE – We're Going to Bring Him Home **

**SATURDAY, APRIL 8, 2006**

Last Sunday, a little walk/jog/run from the condo to the pool to the park area and back to the condo was a test for my knee. I followed that up with walks after dinner on Monday and Tuesday. I took Wednesday off since it was such a full day. Thursday I tried a jog/run after dinner, and the knee seemed to be holding up. Yesterday was another full day, so I took the day off again.

This morning, I'm awake at the crack of dawn with the mission of running a mile today. The trail in the condo complex park is touted as being a perimeter loop around the park of one-mile. It pays to read the pamphlets that they give you when you move in. Mac dug them out of the 'chocolate stash' drawer in the kitchen after I went exploring last weekend.

I quickly realize that my knee will be less trouble than the rest of me. I don't want to leave the comfortable warmth of having Mac in my arms. I'm tempted to say that I'll start running tomorrow, but with three weeks off, if I don't run today, I fear that I'll never start back. I need to stay in shape for her and for the child that we're going to acquire on Wednesday and, hopefully, there'll be at least one more child to come. With everything else that's been happening, we haven't discussed trying to have a child of our own recently. The last time was when we discussed adopting Tyler. She said that she wanted Tyler and a baby, but with him arriving soon, I don't know if she still feels that way.

I force myself to slip from the bed and put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. So as not to overdo my first day, I drive my car to the park. It turns out that the distance between our condo and the park is three quarters of a mile. After a few days to warm up, I'll run to the park and back as part of my run as well.

I finish my run and I'm glad that I forced myself to get up. My body has missed getting a workout, and I feel great as I head back to my car.

I stop at the entrance to our parking area and then drive to the community pool. A run to the pool to swim a few laps and a run back may be a way for me to change my workouts. I head back to the condo and clock the trip from the pool. It's a half-mile between there and the condo.

I get out of my car at the condo, hoping that Mac's still sleeping. If she is, I'll take a quick shower, shave and crawl back in bed to wake her up with a little mornin' lovin'.

I find that, not only isn't she sleeping, but she isn't even in bed. I cringe. Since I didn't tell her that I'd planned to run this morning, I should have left her a note to tell her where I'd gone. I need to get used to living with people who care and remember to leave notes if I go out when I haven't mentioned going anywhere to them.

I didn't hear anyone downstairs when I came in, but Mac has a short list of things that she'll do before her morning coffee, so my guess is that she's in the kitchen. A few more minutes won't make much difference, and I'm already upstairs, so I take that quick shower and shave before going downstairs to find Mac and have breakfast.

I'm not sure what I should do because Mac isn't downstairs. I go back upstairs to have a look in Tyler's room, but still no Mac. I'm on my way back downstairs when Mattie comes out of her room. I greet her with, "Good morning."

"Good morning. You can quit looking for Mac. She isn't back yet. She checked with me to find out if I was in the mood for donuts or muffins. That means that she went to the bakery. She should be back any time. You'll know when she gets back. The place starts to smell like someone's baking. She'll bring breakfast and a cake or pie for dessert after dinner."

"She didn't go last Saturday, so is the bakery trip a normal Saturday thing that she skipped because I was here?" I inquire.

"Harm, not everything's on a schedule around here. Today, she said that she wasn't sure how long you'd be running and she wanted to make sure that you got breakfast before you left."

"If she knew that I was already out running, where did she think that I was going that I might not have time for breakfast? I thought our day was filled with waiting on furniture and a closet reorganization here."

"Well, I told her that I was hoping that you'd agree to drive me to work this morning. Mac said that she'd start on the closet while you were gone if you'd take me," Mattie informs me, or maybe she's _asking_ me.

I can't keep a smile from appearing on my face. "Sure, I'll take you."

I verify the time that she needs to be at work before she excuses herself to take a shower and get ready before Mac gets back with breakfast.

I go down the stairs two at a time. Among the scheduled activities today, I'm taking Mattie to work. Today is going to be a good day.

I'm headed into the kitchen to start some coffee when I hear a noise at the door. When I open the door, I'm glad that I did. With her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she looks young, and the light makeup that she has on only adds to her youthful and fresh looking appearance. Mac's juggling a pie sized bakery box in her left hand while her right arm is wrapped around another box with a delicately balanced cardboard tray on top with to-go cups in it that I'd guess is coffee.

I take the pie box and offer to take the coffee, but she says, "No thanks, I've got the rest. I was having difficulty because I wanted to keep the cold chocolate cream pie from the warm muffins and hot coffee."

Once the pie is in the refrigerator, it's time for coffee and muffins. Before Mattie comes down for breakfast, Mac asks me if I've been asked to take her to the gallery yet.

"Yes, she did ask. She said that she spoke to you about it, so I hope that it's okay that I said yes."

"Of course it's okay. I think that Mattie's ready to talk. She's had time to think about the things that she and I discussed last weekend, you know, during the 'girl talk' that you interrupted. Remember to listen and be honest with her."

"Hey, didn't I give you similar advice when she started to live with you?"

"I believe you did, and very good advice it was."

She gives me a bright smile. I place my lips on hers for the morning kiss that I'd missed out on when I'd returned from running. Our lips have met for the briefest of moments when Mattie enters the kitchen undetected.

"You two had better get that kind of stuff out of your system before we have a young, impressionable boy in the house."

As our lips separate, Mattie laughs. This day is getting better, but I don't want to get too enthusiastic until after I take Mattie to work and we've had our talk.

With clean up of the breakfast dishes and the kitchen being only to throw away some paper cups and a muffin wrapper or two, there's time before I have to take Mattie to work.

Mac and I head upstairs to tackle the closet. She starts to give me the 'battle plan,' but she stops in the middle of the third sentence. "Harm, why don't you go ahead and take Mattie to work?"

I look at my watch. "It's too early. I'll help you get started and then I'll take her."

"Harm, if she wants to talk, a trip between here and there may not be enough time. You should leave now and take a scenic route or make a stop along the way. I'll start by going through my clothes. I promise that I won't move anything of yours until you get back."

I pull her to me, and we share a tender and loving kiss. When our lips part, I say, "Thanks, Mac," before I let go of her. I get to the door, but turn to add, "If the furniture delivery shows before I get back, just ask them to get it up the stairs and put it in his room. We'll get it set up the way you want it tomorrow like we planned." I don't know if it's my words or the thought of setting up Tyler's room, meaning that his arrival is that much closer, but I'm rewarded with a warm and beautiful smile.

I go tap on Mattie's door and ask her if we could leave a little early. She's chipper, and her response is to give her a few minutes and she'll be down and ready to go. I pace the living room nervously. Am I going to feel better after Mattie and I talk? Am I supposed to initiate the discussion or let Mattie? I have to wait only until we get out to my car for the answer to the latter question.

"Harm, since you wanted to leave early, I guess Mac told you that I wanted to talk to you. Do you think that we could go to the park and take a walk before you take me to work?"

"Mac doesn't have to tell me everything. The fact that you asked me to drive you to work today instead of Paul did give me a clue that you might be ready to talk." I avoid telling her that Mac had given me confirmation.

The short trip around the corner, getting out of the car and the first few steps on the path is done in silence. I'm wondering if she's waiting for me to begin, but she finally speaks.

"Harm, what do you think of Paul?" she asks, staring down at the sidewalk.

"He seems to be a nice guy. I haven't seen any signs of him having any major character flaws." I offer a lighthearted grin. "I guess the important question is 'what's your opinion of Paul'?"

"He is a nice guy and he treats me with respect, so you don't have to worry."

"Who said that I was worried?" I don't have to think about it long. "Mac?"

Mattie nods. "Don't be mad at her. I asked her how you felt about me dating. She said that she thought that you were a little worried."

"I'm not angry at Mac. As far as you dating goes, I guess worried is one word that I could use."

"What are some other words? You could even expand into phrases or sentences if you'd like." Mattie knows that she has me cornered into talking about it and is all grins.

"Mac says that you're happy and that your grades haven't been affected in a negative way, so I can't say that I have a problem with it exactly, but I can't say that I'm thrilled about it either. I know that you've experienced a lot in your life that's matured you beyond your years, so I don't think that you'll fall into the normal traps of youth. At the same time, you're still young and you aren't prepared for everything. I realize that part of life is to stumble once in a while and, as you become the beautiful young woman whom you're going to be, you'll break a few hearts and you'll feel the pain of heartbreak yourself. It's part of life that I just wish that you didn't have to experience." Mattie has a look that I haven't seen on her face before. She appears to have tears in her eyes. "What is it?"

"That's sort of what Mac said. She said that you didn't think that Paul was an axe murderer or anything so you were giving me space to make my own choices. She said that, by not saying anything, you were showing me that you understand that I'm growing up and that you'll respect my choices and that you'll be there for me if I have questions or make the wrong decisions. She also said that she hopes that I'll remember that. If I remember correctly, she also said that, if I ever come to you with a concern, you'll listen, and I should do the same if you voice a concern. She also said that I need to understand that you're concerned simply because you want to protect me because you love me."

I give her a raised eyebrow and a half smile. "Mac's a pretty smart lady."

"That's why you love her, isn't it?"

"One of many reasons."

"Harm, just in case you didn't know, I love you, too."

"I suspected, but it's good to hear it once in awhile."

"Can we keep walking and talk about some other stuff before you take me to work?"

"Sure, what else do you want to talk about?"

We walk the entire one-mile loop back to the car, talking about school, the swim team, Tyler and various other topics before I take her to work.

When I return to the condo, I go upstairs where Mac should be working on the closet. I get near the door and see several piles of shoes on the floor. I get closer and I see a heaping pile of clothes on the bed. I move into the bedroom to see her uniforms draped neatly over the back and arms of the chair in the room, but no Mac.

This mess doesn't look like the vision of attacking the closet that I'd had when she'd rolled out the first two sentences this morning. I wonder if she's given up. "Mac," I call out tentatively. I don't want to sound too carefree before I find out what's going on. If this isn't going well, sounding cheery could be detrimental to my health.

Mac comes out of the walk-in closet wearing nicely fitting jeans, a white scoop necked pull-over top, layered with a lightweight jogging style jacket that she had on this morning. Her hair is a little mussed from the work that she's been doing, and she looks a little frazzled.

"I thought that you were just going to move a few things around to give me a little space for my uniforms and a suit or two."

"When I started to move things, I got the idea that this would be a good time to go through my clothes. I might be able to get rid a few things, and then we could both put our clothes in the closet. So I pulled everything out to go through it, piece by piece."

"How's it going?" I inquire nervously.

"It isn't. Once I got everything out, I realized that the closet isn't a bad size. I just have a lot more clothes than I thought. If we each get half of the closet, I'll have to get rid of a lot of my clothes. Since that realization, I've been spending my time trying to determine criteria for what to get rid of and what to keep."

"Are you open to suggestions?" I ask hesitantly.

"If you have an idea, I'll consider it."

"Why don't I get my uniforms and suit out of the hall closet and move them into the bedroom closet? You can put your uniforms in the closet, too. From the amount of space your uniforms take up, we can estimate how much room I actually need. You can have the rest of the closet. It doesn't have to be an even split."

She's thrilled with my suggestion and tells me to get moving as she turns to retrieve her uniforms from the nicely arranged stacks on the chair.

When I return to the bedroom with my hands full of uniforms, she inquires about how my talk went with Mattie.

"She and I had a great talk after we confirmed what you'd already told both of us." Mac offers a sweet smile that sets my heart aflutter. If the bed wasn't covered with her civilian wardrobe, I'd be trying to get her in it.

The estimation of the amount of space that I need gives her hope that she won't have to part with too many items. She makes the observation as she's picking through her clothing that some of her clothes are winter items that she probably won't ever wear here. She suggests that we get some of those under the bed storage boxes and store the heavy winter items in them. They'd be close at hand if we get sent TAD or take a vacation, but wouldn't take up space in the closet. Things are moving along nicely, and I hate to spoil the mood, but something occurred to me when I saw my harried wife and the disheveled room upon my return.

She's looking over some tops that she'd pulled out of the pile. "Mac, I want to ask you something." She must hear the seriousness in my voice because, though she has a hanger with a pink blouse in one hand, she turns to look at me. "You asked me the other night if I was all right with all the changes in my life happening at once. I was wondering how you're feeling about all that's happening."

"There are so many things happening at once that I've tried not to think about it."

"If you want to talk, you know that I'm the big lump in bed on your right," I say teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"I wondered what that was," she says with a giggle. "I thought that something was wrong with the mattress, and I was going to have to buy a new one."

"Nothing's wrong with it, but even if there were, you wouldn't have to buy a new one. Our bed should be here from Naples in a couple of weeks." When I mention the pending arrival of my furniture from Naples, Mac looks overwhelmed.

"We'd better get back to work on the closet before Tyler's furniture arrives," Mac says, quickly changing the subject.

If she's been avoiding thinking about all the changes that are happening, I don't want to force her into it now, so I go with the flow, and we return to the closet project.

We've been working at a steady pace and don't realize how much time has passed, but the sound of the doorbell brings our work to a halt.

With what I figure is a lot of practice, the two deliverymen get everything upstairs and remove the packing materials for us to inspect the items. It's all there and not a scratch is found, so, after a signature, they're gone in twenty minutes.

With the work stopped and the furniture delivery accepted, it's the perfect time to place Mac's weekly call to Tyler. Mac dials and puts it on speaker phone.

"Hello, Potter residence," Miss Nancy answers.

"Hi, Miss Nancy, it's Mac. May we speak to Tyler?"

"Let me ask one of the children to wake him while I talk to you." We hear muffled sounds and then she speaks again. "He's taking a nap because he hasn't been sleeping well."

Mac's voice quivers with concern as she asks, "Do you know why? Is there anything that we can do?"

"What you can do is to be sure that you want to adopt him before you get here." Miss Nancy lets out a sigh loudly enough that we can hear it through the phone.

I move even closer to Mac and put my arm around her waist. I'm not doing it solely to comfort her. I find comfort in the contact as well.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so blunt that it sounded rude, but it is what you can do for him. Tyler's trouble sleeping began on Wednesday night. He hasn't eaten much since then either. We don't believe that it's a physical problem. Miss Donna had me take Tyler to see a therapist yesterday. After speaking with Tyler, the therapist believes that he's suffering from anxiety or depression caused by the pending hearing."

"Does the therapist feel that he's having trouble because he doesn't want to come?" I ask.

"He believes the opposite to be true. Tyler has been so close to being adopted that he's fearful that something's going to ruin it this time, too. The therapist gave me some suggestions for you to help settle him in and make him feel more comfortable and secure once he's with you. I normally wouldn't wake a child who needs to rest, but he knows that your calls mean that you're still interested, and I think, at the moment, that's far more important to his health. I hear Tyler coming down the hall. He'll be here any second."

"Miss Nancy, can you fax the list of suggestions from the therapist to my office? Mac asks. "We'll want to look it over before we arrive in case we have any questions."

Miss Nancy has time to say that she'll get it to us on Monday morning before Tyler is close enough to her that we can hear him through the receiver. "Is it Mac?" he asks Miss Nancy in a flat voice. "It's both of them," Nancy responds before saying her goodbyes to us.

We talk to a tired sounding little boy for a few minutes. We have plenty of time to talk, but it's Tyler who says that he wants to go back and lie down before dinner. We remind him that we won't be calling on Wednesday afternoon because we'll be there with him. We're careful to wish him a goodnight and not say goodbye to end our call. When Mac flips her phone closed at the end of the call, she's upset.

"Let's get back to that closet. If I just stand here, I'll go crazy. I need to keep busy until Wednesday when we're with Tyler," Mac says.

It's an hour past lunchtime, but Mac doesn't seem the least bit aware of it.

We return to our room to finish the closet, but Mac's mind is on Tyler. I know that I'm not imagining her distraction when I teasingly suggest, "We could throw out all of your shoes and let you go barefoot."

Her response is, "Sure, that sounds like a good idea."

I move close enough to touch her arm. "Mac, if it'll help, we can finish this after we put Tyler's furniture in place."

She places her hand over mine on her arm. "No, you're here. Let's get you moved in first, and then we'll get ready for Tyler."

"Then let's get to it," I say in hopes of getting her to focus on our task.

Mac's shoes are paired up and sitting on the floor below her clothes, but there isn't room for all of them without stacking them, so I know that we're going to have to revisit the shoe issue again. Mac has winter clothes to pack away, but with no boxes in which to put them, she folds and stacks them in several piles on the now unburied bed.

She's been a little less distracted since I offered to put off the closet and do Tyler's room, but she still isn't 'with me' the way she was before we spoke to Miss Nancy and Tyler. I'd suggest that we take a break and have a snack, but I don't think that I could get her to eat anything.

"Harm, we should go to the store and pick up the containers for the winter clothes next."

"I think we ought to start setting up Tyler's room. If -"

She cuts me off. "No, I said that we'd do that project tomorrow. We need to finish today's project today, and preferably before Mattie comes home for dinner. Do you need to pick her up?"

"No, she's going to get a ride from Mom. Mac, we won't be leaving a job unfinished if we wait to go get the bins. We'll be being sensible. At the price of gas, we should make as few trips out as possible, right?" Mac nods in agreement. "When we set up Tyler's room, if we need something, we can get it when we go out to get the bins for your clothes and maybe a shoe organizer to give you more room for your shoes. See, one trip...more practical."

"That's an excellent idea. There are only a few pieces: a dresser, a twin sized bed, a nightstand and a small desk with a chair. We should be able to have it done in a couple of hours. When we're finished, we can go out to pick up the bins and anything else that we discover that we need for Tyler's room...and pick up something for dinner on the way home."

We spend the next couple of hours trying the various plans for furniture placement that we'd visualized last weekend. I'd thought that the purpose of that day had been to avoid all this moving of the actual items. Apparently, I'd thought wrong.

Once the furniture is in place, Mac starts to put the sheets and comforter on the bed. It's taken us all day, but the most labor intensive and time-consuming parts of the weekend projects are completed.

Mattie arrives shortly after the major manual labor is done. After a quick discussion, we decide to go out to dinner. Though, because of the long day that we've all put in working, we opt for a casual place so that we don't have to change clothes.

After dinner, we go to several stores to get the things on our list before returning to the condo. We're all tired, but it's still early. We all indulge in a slice of the chocolate cream pie, and Mattie asks if we want to play a game or watch a movie. Mac declines, saying that she needs to get upstairs and pack away the clothes if we're going to sleep in the bed tonight.

"Let's watch a movie with Mattie. If it isn't too late when the movie's over, we'll pack up the stuff on the bed. If we're too tired, I'll help you move it to the top of the dresser or the chair until tomorrow when we're rested. We've worked hard today. We need to rest and relax a little."

Mac gives in and plops down on the couch next to me. With Mattie sitting there, I didn't want to tell Mac my other reason. Mattie and I had had such a nice talk today that I don't want to take a step backward in my relationship with her by skipping an opportunity to have some family time.

After the movie, everyone heads upstairs to get ready for bed.

Mattie will call Paul to say good night and verify that the Sunday swim is still on before actually going to bed.

I'm yawning, so I suggest to Mac that we move the clothes off the bed for tonight and finish our project tomorrow. Mac offers no resistance to the idea. I think that she's just too tired and too worried to fight me about it.

I watch Mac change. Her body is visibly stiff as she slides her silk nightgown down over her head. She's worried about Tyler, and I'm worried about her.

When we get into bed, she comes to my side and snuggles in like past nights. I kiss her firmly but lovingly.

I pull her in as close as I can and whisper, "Everything's going to be okay. We're going to bring him home." She nods her head against my chest.

Tyler isn't going to be the only one who's not sleeping well until he's home. I just hope that it doesn't last for either one of them until his adoption is final. We'll all be exhausted if the two of them don't rest well for the next six months. I hold her close and find myself rubbing her back to soothe her. It takes a few minutes, but her body does relax some and her breathing evens out. She's asleep. With her resting in my arms, it's time for me to get some sleep as well.


	76. Chapter 76

**PART SIX – Afraid to be Happy **

**SUNDAY, APRIL 9, 2006**

I should've known that getting her to sleep was too easy. She stayed asleep for a little while, but tossed and turned until a few minutes ago when she slipped out of my arms and our bed.

I just heard the door of the bathroom open again, so she should be back in bed in a moment. A few seconds later, I hear the bedroom door open and close with the slightest click. She's trying not to wake me. Not having Mac's sense of timing, my best guess without opening my eyes to check my watch or a clock is that it's after midnight, but not close to time to get up.

I open my eyes to check the time, 0215. I don't know what she'd need to do at this hour, but I'll wait for a few minutes before I go to look for her. We're going to have another full day today, and she has to go to work tomorrow, so she needs to get some rest.

**SAME TIME...IN TYLER's ROOM**

**MAC SITS IN THE DESK CHAIR IN THE DARK, ALONE WITH HER THOUGHTS.**

Why did Harm have to ask me what I thought of all the changes going on in my life? Until then, I'd been doing a very good job of keeping myself busy and not thinking about it.

It isn't fair to blame him. His question wasn't the only thing to bring the changes to the forefront of my mind. Rearranging the closet to make room for his things was another thing that served to remind me of how much my life has changed in the last year, the last six months - hell, the last two weeks - and how much more there is to come.

Today, I'll get no break from the reminders either. I managed to keep all of my clothes, but some will be packed in tubs to be put in the storage area downstairs and some will end up in bins under the bed. That packing is one of the things on our 'to do' list for later today. Unpacking the new lamps that we bought for this room is on the list, too. Harm and Mattie have tomorrow off, so they'll pack tomorrow for Tuesday's trip, but today is the best day for me to pack.

If these things weren't enough, there's Tyler not being able to sleep. What if he doesn't like it here? What if I'm a bad mother? What if it takes so long for us to get him settled in that I miss the chance to get pregnant? There are so many things that are going right, but that means that there are so many things that could go wrong.

**BACK IN THEIR ROOM...**

I've given her fifteen minutes. It may seem that I'm being an alarmist, but now that I've been awake for a few minutes, I have a feeling that I know where she is and I don't want her to feel like she's alone.

I get out of bed and walk the few steps down the hall in the direction of Tyler's room. The door is partially closed and the room is dark. I cross the hall and push the door open just enough that the light coming from our room casts her shadow on the wall. She's sitting in the chair at his desk. I enter the room and kneel down beside her. She's so wrapped up in her thoughts that she doesn't appear to see or hear me. I take her hand in mine, and that causes her to look at me.

"Let's go downstairs. I'll make some tea and we'll talk." She nods. I rise to my feet without releasing her hand, pulling her to her feet, and we walk downstairs, hand in hand.

I turn on a dim light in the living room from the switch at the bottom of the stairs before I leave her to get comfortable on the couch while I go make the tea.

I return with the two mugs of tea a few minutes later and offer her one. She looks up at me as she takes the tea, and I can see the emotions swirling in her eyes. I sit beside her, and she reaches for my hand, curling her fingers over mine.

Once she has a firm grip on my hand, she's ready. "I don't know where to start and I'm not sure that I can explain how I'm feeling."

"Well, you seemed to be doing pretty well until we talked to Miss Nancy and Tyler. Are you having second thoughts? If you aren't sure about adopting Tyler, we need to discuss that first. We don't want to wait until the last minute to tell someone that we're having doubts or changing our minds."

She looks petrified. "You don't want to go through with it?" she asks in surprise.

"I know that you love him, but it won't be good for you or him if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel pressured, pushed or rushed into anything."

"For the same reasons that you just mentioned, I don't want him if you aren't ready," Mac says with a sigh.

"This is another of those times when we don't want to express what we want because the other might not agree. Neither one of us wants to risk hurting the other, so we stay silent, but not talking doesn't move us forward. We need to make a decision," I say gently.

"What do we do? It isn't just you and I for whom we're making a decision, so flipping a coin is definitely out of the question this time," Mac replies.

"I have an idea." I stand and put my tea mug on the coffee table. I go to my briefcase and pull out a pad of paper and two pens. After reaching the couch, I pull off a piece of paper and hand it and a pen to her. She's looking at me puzzled. "I'll turn my back so you know that I won't see what you write down and you can't see what I write down. The question posed to each of us is, do you want to adopt Tyler or _not_ adopt Tyler?" I explain.

A few moments later, I sit on the couch next to her, and we reveal the answers that we've written. Both of our papers say 'adopt him.'

She smiles a partial smile. "I want him, Harm. When Miss Nancy said that she'd received suggestions of how we could get him settled in more easily, I was worried about him not sleeping for weeks after we got him here or him not eating. After thinking about it for a little while, I thought about him not ever getting settled in here, that he might hate it here and want to go back. I'm not sure how I'd get through that...and while I was sleeping, I had a terrible dream. In the dream, it took so long to get Tyler settled in that I was out of time. There wasn't ever going to be a baby for us."

I put my arm around her shoulders and place a kiss on her hair as she leans her head against me. "With Tyler actually coming, I've been worried that, once you had a child, you wouldn't want a baby," I confess.

Her head shoots up from my shoulder and she looks me in the eye. "Yes, I still want a baby...a girl with your looks and my brains," she says emphatically.

"Or a son with your looks and my brains," I remind her with a grin.

"Either, both, but the longer we wait, the less chance I'll have to conceive or carry a child. Adopting Tyler is something that I want because I love him, but I want to carry a child. I want not only to be a mom, but a mother. You must understand that at least on some level. I know that you love Mattie and you're a good dad, but part of you wants to be a father and not just a dad, right?"

"Yes, I understand. I think that Tyler's a great kid and I understand your concerns for getting him settled in here before he has to adapt to having a baby brother or sister...but I think that we may be over analyzing this whole thing. I mean, when you're young, you adjust pretty quickly. You know that your first day of school each year seems pretty scary, but, by the end of the first day, you're laughing and having fun, and the next day you wonder why you were being such a baby about going to school. I'm not suggesting that it'll be only a day or two before he's comfortable around here, but I think that we might be selling him short, and probably ourselves at the same time."

"How long do you think that we should wait to try to have a baby?" she asks before placing her head back on my shoulder.

"At Christmas, you said that it took you a little while to get an appointment with your doctor, so it may take a while to get another appointment. If you have time in your schedule tomorrow, I think that you should make the call. Maybe she can tell us how long we can afford to wait. She can give us our options, and we can start to talk about them so that, when Tyler is settled and we're ready, we can try to have a baby."

"You've been thinking about this, too, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I have. I know that it's selfish for me to want it all after waiting so long to start, but I do. I want us to be together and have a family that includes Mattie, Tyler and a baby, too."

"Me, too," she whispers. "Me, too."

I give her shoulders a little squeeze. "You ready to try to go get a few more hours of shut-eye before it's time for breakfast?"

"Not yet, there's something else."

Now I'm the one who's tense. I knew that the Tyler situation had her upset, but I have no idea what else is on her mind. "I'm listening."

"It's about your stuff. I think that, since I'm calling the doctor, I should give you the number of Frank's real estate agent friend so you can call him. I don't think that you're really going to feel settled in and at home until you have some of your things around. The closet project was enough for me to believe that rearranging the condo won't give us space to add your stuff. I don't want Tyler to feel like he's being pushed aside for a baby, either, so we'll want him to have his own room. I've got five months left on my lease, but it might take some time to find the right -"

"- House," I finish for her.

"Exactly."

"I tell you what. Let's go upstairs and see if we can get a couple of hours of sleep. We'll leave the paper and pens out here. After breakfast, Mattie, you and I will make lists that can be combined into 'must haves' and 'would likes' for me to relay to the agent when I call tomorrow."

We rise and go back to bed. She's still worried about Tyler and if we'll be able to have a baby. Our years of not always communicating exactly what we mean, whether to protect feelings or our own hearts, is a habit that's hard for us to let go. Someday, I hope that the paper and pens won't be necessary, but until we've worked through our insecurities of opening up to each other, I'm for anything that keeps us talking and our marriage on track.

We manage to get a few hours of sleep before we get up for a family breakfast with Mattie. Mattie's glad to hear that we're talking about getting a house. After breakfast, we make our lists of housing options that we want and need. Mac and I will compare the lists later.

Once Paul picks up Mattie, I think the plan is to start on our chore list, but Mac has a different plan. Once we get into our bedroom for what I think is packing her clothes, she turns and kisses me.

We haven't made love since Friday night, so her kiss erases any thought about packing anything. When I feel her pulling up my shirt, I know that our chore list isn't on her mind either.

After making love, we lie in bed for a few minutes, discussing the fact that we should get up and get to our list of things to do, but I suggest that, before we do, we call to check on Tyler.

Miss Nancy says that he didn't sleep well again last night, but after we called yesterday, he did eat better. Once we've said hello to Tyler and told him that we'll see him in two more days, we've got to get up to finish our projects from yesterday.

She folds the clothes that are to be put into bins and stored in our locked storage area. I move the bins to storage while she packs the items that she wants closer at hand and will be stored in the 'under the bed' boxes. The next project is to take the lamps for Tyler's room out of their boxes. One requires a little assembly and the other one simply needs to have the shade put on.

Because the family breakfast wasn't held very early, the day is half gone before we get our projects from yesterday completed. I enjoy a run to the park and back, which is only a mile and a half, while Mac packs for Tuesday's trip.

Once we have our scheduled tasks completed, we enjoy a mid afternoon snack and spend time comparing the lists that we all made this morning.

Mattie is home at the regular time, and we enjoy a nice family dinner. After dinner and dishes, we play a couple of rounds of Scrabble and talk about the housing list that Mac and I put together from the three separate lists we made. We also made a list of things that Mattie and I need to do tomorrow to get ready for travel on Tuesday.

It's been a good day and, when it comes to an end, I'm happy and sad: Happy that we're one day closer to bringing Tyler home and sad that this wonderful day has come to an end.

I don't have time to dwell on the sadness because, when I kiss Mac goodnight, I'm rewarded with that look in her eye that says 'don't stop there', so I gratefully make love to the woman with whom I want to share the rest of my life.

**MONDAY, APRIL 10, 2006**

Mac didn't sleep well again last night and was up way before the alarm went off. I told her that I had several things to do outside the house today and that I'd come by her office and bring her lunch so that we could call Tyler. Since Miss Nancy had said that Tyler's appetite had improved after he'd spoken to us on Saturday, we thought that a daily 'countdown call' until our arrival might be helpful.

Mattie and I get our bags packed and other household chores done in a timely fashion during the early morning hours. She's in a hurry to wrap up things at home because she's going to work for a few hours today so she won't be so far behind because of missing work on Tuesday and Thursday this week.

The last thing I need to do before I take Mattie to work is make a grocery list. I want to make sure that we don't have to stop anywhere on Thursday night after our flight lands. I just want to get a few things to get us through the first couple of days. Mattie follows me into the kitchen. She says that it's to help make the grocery list, but that isn't it. She wants to ask if Paul can pick her up from the gallery and take her to dinner and a movie.

She's prepared a good argument. It's a Monday night, but she's on a break from school. It'll be too late on Thursday when we get in for them to go out that night. This weekend is Easter, and Paul's family has plans. Even their regular swim date is cancelled this week. I tell her that the stress of the last couple of days must be getting to me because I'm going to let her go if she's home by ten.

"I won't even get away from work until five. Mac would let me stay out until midnight," she counters.

"We've got a lot going on around here right now, so I'll give a little and say eleven. Take it or leave it," I say warningly.

"Eleven, I'll take it," she replies with a grin.

After dropping Mattie off at work, I have a stop to make before going to have lunch with Mac. I pull into a space in the NCIS parking lot and go inside. I'd called Director Landon earlier this morning and told him that I'd like to know a few more things about his teams and team leaders than I'd learned on Friday before I start on Monday. When I explained that I was on leave and leaving town tomorrow afternoon for a few days, he said that, with the holiday this weekend, I should drop by this morning.

I arrive and I'm surprised that I don't have to wait long before I'm being shown into the director's office. I apologize for not being in uniform, but explain that I wanted to make an informal visit to -"

"Check the place out before they know who you are. I like your style," Director Landon states with a smile. "I'd bet that you got a pretty good read on my people during our presentation, but I'll run over some facts for you.

"I'll start at the top. Team one was nicknamed 'the hot shots' many years ago under another first rate agent, but Victor Michaels was promoted to the leader of team one in January. There are currently six other members of team one aside from Michaels. Each member of the team has earned their way onto the team with an excellent individual record in their area of expertise. Michaels understands his team's strengths and weaknesses as well as each individual's, and maximizes them with nearly flawless precision. The team's arrest/conviction rate is in the mid-ninety percent range, so you see why they maintain the right to be called 'hot shots'.

"Richard Sinclair leads team two. They match in the number of members with team one, but their combined years of experience is less than half of that team. He and Michaels couldn't be more different in almost every way, including their leadership styles. Team two maintains an arrest/conviction rate in the upper eighties, nothing to sneeze at in this business. So make no mistake, his team is good. He'll be a pain in your ass, but don't take it personally. He's brash and egoistical. When he wasn't promoted to the leader of team one instead of Michaels, he wasn't happy about it, and it's caused a spike in his competitiveness. Michaels is more low-key, but you'll sense the tension between the two men during meetings. However, neither man has done anything that's unprofessional, and the good news is that, except for meetings, they don't have much contact with each other.

"The third team leader is the former leader of team one and the man they were under when they earned the nickname 'hot shots', Vernon O'Malley. Vern stepped down at the first of the year for 'safer duty' while he counts down his days until retirement. As leader of team three, he supervises the newer agents. Including O'Malley, his team has eight members. You'll see a lot of O'Malley's team. O'Malley makes his team members run a lot of things past a JAG before he lets them do anything. His philosophy is, if they don't ask, they'll never learn and they'll make stupid mistakes. He says that making them ask helps the information sink in and he feels that it keeps the wimps out. Don't let Vern's age fool you. His skills are still razor sharp.

"The only other thing that I can think that you might want to know before you report on Monday is about your staff. You're the senior officer and therefore the head of the legal department. I can't tell you much about the personalities or experience level of the individual members of your staff, but I can tell you that you have a yeoman and three junior officers in your department. I can also tell you that it'll be up to you to evaluate your personnel in the first thirty days and replace anyone who you feel can't pull their weight."

A phone call that the director said that he had to take ends our meeting. It's good timing, because I have to get over to Mac's office with our lunch.

As I drive towards her office, I wonder what I expected Landon to say that couldn't have waited until Monday when I report for duty. When I pull into a parking space at Mac's building, I decide that it's time to push the information that Landon gave me to the back of my mind. I can review the information later to see if it was worth going there today.

When Mac and I place our call to Tyler, Miss Nancy's report is the same as yesterday. He still isn't sleeping more than a couple of hours each night, but he's eating a little at each meal. His school spring break started today, and he just wants to stay inside and lie on the couch, holding his bears. We ask if she thinks that our calls are helping or hurting. She says that, at least for a while after he gets off the phone with us, he's cheerful and so much more like his usual self that she thinks that we should keep calling until we get there.

Over lunch, I tell Mac that she and I are on our own for dinner because Mattie has a date with Paul. I ask if she wants to eat at the condo or go out for dinner. She says that it's up to me.

"I've been thinking about getting Tyler settled in and I don't imagine that we'll want to go out alone for a little while after he gets here, so I think that we should go to dinner and a movie," I say with a smile.

"Sounds like you're asking me out on a date," Mac says, giving me the eye.

"Do you still call it a date when you're married?" I ask with a serious expression.

Mac rolls her eyes like I've asked a stupid question, but she's also smiling when she says, "I'd love to go out on a date with you this evening."

After leaving Mac's office, I'm off to get groceries. I get back to the condo and get them unpacked with enough time left to get a mile and a half run in before I need to get ready for my date.

I return from my run, hit the shower, shave and dress before Mac gets home.

We have a wonderful evening out and return home at 2225. I'm glad that I reconsidered Mattie's curfew or we wouldn't have been home in time to greet her when she comes in at 2245. With everyone home, we all head upstairs to our rooms.

Behind the closed door of our bedroom, Mac wraps her arms around me. Her lips cover mine and she delivers a loving kiss.

When she pulls her lips away, my lips immediately miss hers. I open my eyes, and she has the most loving look in her eyes. "I love you..." she says as she unbuttons the first button on my shirt. After she finishes with the second button and moves to the third, she continues, "...and with you, I want so much more than just a great career, a good man and lots of comfortable shoes. I want to be a mother and a good one. I want to be a good wife. I want you, and I want you to want me." Her eyes are still focused on my shirt as she undoes the button just above my waistband. "I'm afraid that we won't get Tyler...I won't ever have a baby...and that I'll lose you. I guess you could say that I'm afraid to be happy," she says softly, still not looking up at me.

"This time, I can say with certainty that I completely understand what you're feeling." I take my hand, place my fingers under her chin and ease her head gently upward until our eyes meet. "I want to be a good dad, but I also want to be a father. I want to be a good husband. I want you, and I want you to want me." I place a kiss on her forehead. "I want to be happy, but I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up to find out that I've been dreaming and that we aren't really together. I worry that I'll say or do something, or not say or do something that I need to...and I'll lose you. I love you, but I'm afraid to be happy, too."

Our lips come together, and we kiss like we've never kissed before. We've advanced to a new level of understanding of each other, and it makes everything new again.

Even though the bed is only two paces from where we're standing, I scoop her up, move with her in my arms and place her on our bed.

Our lovemaking is slow and thorough.

After lovemaking, we're too tired to fight the sleep that our bodies need.

**TUESDAY, APRIL 11, 2006**

Mattie passed the exam to get her driver's license this morning, and she's excited as we get checked in and pass through security. I'm sure that she's happy for Tyler and excited for us, but I think that she's more excited by the fact that she'll be boarding as a newly licensed driver in the State of California.

We've had a busy morning, but we're finally at our gate and waiting for our boarding call. While we wait, it's time to place our now daily call to check on Tyler.

Miss Nancy says that Tyler didn't sleep more than a couple of hours again last night. She believes that he's more anxious about the hearing tomorrow because she couldn't get him to eat any breakfast or lunch today. She hopes that, after we talk with him, she'll be able to get him to eat something.

We talk to Tyler for a few minutes, and Mac gets him to promise that he'll eat half a sandwich if Miss Nancy makes it the way he likes it with no crust. Then we have to tell him that we need to get off the phone because they're telling us that we have to get on the plane to come to see him. We've been making an effort not to say goodbye to him when we've called these last few days, but today it doesn't require any effort. We end the call with, "See you tomorrow!"

After a fifteen minute delay after boarding, we're finally in the air. Though it wasn't necessary that everyone come, it's nice to know that we've got Mattie's and my parents' support in adopting Tyler.

Frank wanted to be at the hearing. His reason was that, if the judge had any questions for the person who'd be Tyler's caretaker before school started, he wanted to be there to answer any questions to avoid a delay in the judge's decision so that Tyler's can fly home with us on Thursday. My mother came because she's enjoying the excitement that Frank has about being a grandpa, and that brings her joy. With Mattie out of school and her grandparents out of town as well as her guardians, there was no way that we were leaving her in San Diego by herself with Paul around.

Mac's been leaning up against my arm in the seat next to me since just after takeoff. I thought that she was sleeping, but the sound of her voice lets me know that, if she has been, she's awake now.

"I'm glad that we've called Tyler every day since we found out that he wasn't sleeping. He sounded so happy and excited that we'd be there in the morning when we called him before we got on the plane. I hope that the judge doesn't find a reason why he can't live with us starting immediately."

I move the arm that she's leaning against enough that my hand can pat her on the thigh. "Why would he say no? Tyler's got his entire family flying across the country to pick him up. It's going to happen, Mac."

She kisses my cheek and returns to leaning against my shoulder in silence.

It's almost 2330 when we land at the Roanoke airport. After getting our luggage and car, we're on our way to the Blacksburg Hotel to try to get some sleep before one of the biggest days of our lives.


	77. Chapter 77

**PART SEVEN – When Do We Get to Take Him Home? **

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12, 2006**

Neither Mac nor I slept much. The closer we get to the hearing time, the more worried we are that we won't get him.

We all meet for an early breakfast and discuss various things. One of the topics is me going with Frank to play golf this coming Saturday at Torrey Pines.

We called Ms. LeMoine this morning to inform her that we'd arrived a little later than scheduled, but that we were here and that we'd see her at the courthouse. She informed us that, not only had Tyler not slept last night, but that he hadn't eaten any breakfast because he'd said that his stomach hurt. She suggested that we meet at the courthouse earlier than scheduled so that Tyler could spend a few minutes with us before seeing the judge. She hopes that seeing us will help his stomachache because she's sure that it's being caused by his anxiety about the hearing.

Of course, we agreed to meet early to see him. We traveled here to take him home with us! I think that seeing him will do just as much for us as it will for him. We've been worried about his lack of sleep and appetite, and seeing him may put our minds at ease before we go into court. We don't want the judge to read our worry as second thoughts instead of the concern that it is about Tyler and his health.

We have a hearing time of 1000, but it can't be soon enough for us. Mattie and my parents have already begun to ascend the courthouse steps, but Mac and I are just getting ready to take the first step up when she stops abruptly. She's looking down the street to our right. "Do you see him?"

I look down the street and see Donna LeMoine about half a block away, headed in our direction and holding a little boy's hand. "Yeah, I see him." I call to the rest of them, "We're supposed to meet in front of the double doors that lead to the juvenile division. Mattie can show you where to wait. We'll be there in a minute."

Frank acknowledges me, "Don't be long. It's nine twenty, and we're supposed to meet at nine thirty."

Mac and I want to see Ty for a few minutes before we have to share him.

They've come closer to us while we were sending the others inside. Mac and I take a few strides towards them until we're sure that he'll hear us call to him.

"Ty!" He looks up at the sound of my voice.

As we come a few steps closer, we see a weary little boy in place of the one who's been a ball of energy in the past.

It's hard to say if Ms. LeMoine released his hand or he pulled it away, but he makes a dash for us. I bend down and wrap my arm around him. His arms wrap around my neck and his body goes limp as if the few yards that he'd traveled had taken all the energy that he had left.

As I stand up, holding him, he lays his head on my shoulder and hugs my neck. "You really came." His voice sounds tired and weepy.

Mac pats him on the back. "Of course, we came. We love you and we want to take you home with us." Her voice is soft and comforting. He lifts his head off my shoulder, and we see that tears are rolling down his face.

Once again, the dream that I've had of this day is nothing like the reality of it. I have no idea what to say to him to make him feel better. I don't know if it'll help or not, but I feel that I have to say something. "Mac and I aren't the only ones who came. Mattie and my parents came with us. They're inside, waiting to see you."

Mac has dug a Kleenex out of her purse and is wiping away his tears when he speaks. "Can we go see them?" He still sounds tired, but he doesn't sound as sad.

"Sure we can." I put him down, and Mac takes his hand as they start to walk the last few feet to the courthouse steps.

I stay back with Ms. LeMoine because I want to ask her if this is how Tyler's been since Wednesday.

When I feel comfortable that Mac has Tyler are out of earshot, I ask my question, and she tells me that he hasn't cried before today, but other than that, we're seeing what he's been like.

With my question answered, Ms. LeMoine and I pick up the pace and catch up with Mac and Tyler at the courthouse doors. My thoughts as we enter the building are about Tyler's well being.

In the corridor across from the doors leading to the courtroom where we're soon going to meet with the judge, we all sit on a bench. I'm at the end with Mac next to me. Tyler is sitting on Mac's lap, and Frank is beside them, keeping Tyler talking. After seeing Tyler, I'm not sure if Frank's trying to keep Tyler's or his own mind from dwelling on the hearing.

As we sit there waiting, I look around to see that the place hasn't changed a bit from when we came here for Mattie. Mac leans towards me and tells me that we have fifteen minutes and fourteen seconds until our hearing time. I hope this judge is on schedule for his sake, because he'll have a very angry Marine to deal with if our hearing doesn't start on time.

Ms. LeMoine comes to stand in front of us. "This hearing will be a little different than Mattie's. Tyler is a ward of the court without parents who can appear to claim that it's in his best interest for him to live with them," she begins to address the group of us. "The committee has already decided that it's in Tyler's best interest to live with you."

"But the judge could still say no. I heard you tell Miss Nancy." With those words out of Tyler's mouth, I feel Mac's body tense up. When she glances at me, I see panic in her eyes.

Ms. LeMoine begins, "He could, but I don't think he will. It's only happened a few times in the years that I've been doing this. In one case, the husband was arrested, and a custody date wasn't set until his legal issues could be resolved. Another time, the adopting couple told the judge that they were getting a divorce. The judge felt that putting the child in the middle of that wasn't in the child's best interest. I don't think that it's very likely that the judge will reverse the committee's decision. The way I see it, the worst thing that could happen is that the judge won't let you take custody today because Tyler isn't feeling well. The judge may think that it isn't a good idea to let him travel if he's ill."

Tyler's tears are back. "But living with Harm and Mac will make me feel better."

Mac wraps her arms around the little boy on her lap and hugs him tightly. "It's going to be okay, Ty. If the judge says that you have to get better before you can come with us, then Harm and I will come back to get you whenever he says."

"You promise?" he asks.

"I promise," Mac replies.

"And she and I don't break promises," I add. The corners of his mouth begin to turn up, but the smile never comes to fruition because the court officer comes into the corridor asking for Mr. and Mrs. Rabb. Tyler stays in the corridor, flanked by Mattie and my parents, while Mac and I go in to meet with the judge.

In the courtroom, the judge asks us several questions before asking Ms. LeMoine if Tyler is feeling any better today. Ms. LeMoine is honest and tells him that Tyler is probably a little worse today, but that her personal opinion is the same as the therapist's whom Tyler saw on Friday. She explains that she agrees with the therapist's assessment that, once Tyler is placed with the Rabbs, the uneasy, insecure and worried feelings that he's having will pass and, when he feels that he finally has a home, he'll eat and sleep normally again. With a few days of regular meals and sleep, he'll be just fine. To lend support to her opinion, she tells the judge that we've been calling daily and that Tyler always seems better after we speak, but that he's so tired that he just isn't capable of maintaining a positive mood. She also tells the judge about Tyler's most recent bad experience with nearly being adopted so the judge can understand that perhaps Tyler is more sensitive than other children usually are at this stage of the process. After the judge hears from Ms. LeMoine, he asks to speak with Tyler.

Tyler comes nervously into the courtroom, holding Frank's hand on one side and Mattie's on the other. My mom follows them in. When they enter, the judge says that Tyler can sit with us and everyone else can have a seat in the gallery. My mother sits, but Frank and Mattie bring Tyler up to the front to us before taking seats. There isn't a chair for Tyler, so I lift him onto my lap. Once everyone is seated, the judge talks to Tyler.

"Young man, is your name Tyler?"

"Yes, sir."

"I have a few questions for you, okay?"

"Okay."

"First, I'd like to know who escorted you into my courtroom."

"Mattie and Harm's parents," Tyler answers nervously.

Knowing that the answer is no, the judge asks with a chuckle, "Is Mattie your girlfriend?" I think he's trying to get Tyler to smile.

The judge's question does seem to send a spark to Tyler's personality. "No, silly, I'm too young to have a girlfriend. If you let Harm and Mac adopt me, she'll be my big sister."

"Oh, I see. So you want to live with the Rabbs?"

"Very much, sir," Tyler says with a big smile.

"I hear that you haven't been feeling well. Do you think that you're well enough to travel to your new home? It's kind of far away, and you'll have to leave the house where you've been living for a long time. That could make someone scared enough to make them sick. Do you think that's why you're sick?"

"I'm scared that you won't let me live with Harm and Mac...that I'll never get to be anybody's little boy." Tyler spoke in a brave and forward tone, but as soon as his words are out, he turns on my lap and buries his face in my shirt.

I put my arms around him to offer a comforting hug. Mac brings her hand up and begins to stroke his hair. I see the expression on the judge's face change as he watches us. He'd apparently been convinced that Tyler's 'illness' was caused by not wanting to leave the only place where he'd ever lived, but Tyler has changed his mind. The judge asks someone to take Tyler out of the courtroom, and Mattie volunteers.

Once they're out of the courtroom, the judge leans back in his chair. "Because of his extended stay in one foster home, my concern is that Tyler will have some separation issues, but it's clear to me after speaking with the young man that not letting him live with the Rabbs isn't the solution either. If the Rabbs lived locally, I'd simply order that Tyler live with the Rabbs on the weekends and the foster home during the week for the next sixty days, and we'd revisit the custody issue at that time, but that isn't possible in this case."

I think the judge is going to tell us that he wants a recess before rendering a decision. Instead, the judge sits up and flips through a file folder that I can only assume is Tyler's case file before he speaks. Mac reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly.

"Ms. LeMoine, I see that arrangements have already been made for a social worker to monitor Tyler and the Rabbs, a...Mrs. Morales. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Ms. LeMoine would you notify Mrs. Morales of our concerns and request that she visit the Rabb home within a week of Tyler's arrival to see if he's adjusting? I want you to make it clear to her, Ms. LeMoine, that we're retaining jurisdiction in this case, and I want to be kept informed. From that first visit, if she feels that some sort of therapy or counseling is needed, then I expect her to arrange for it."

"We've already spoken once, so I'll officially notify Mrs. Morales through the proper channels, but I'll follow up with a call to make sure that she understands your concerns, Your Honor."

"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, if counseling were ordered, would you comply?"

"Yes, Your Honor," I say.

"And, Mrs. Rabb, how about you? Would you be willing?"

"I'm...we're willing to do whatever we need to do to adopt Tyler," Mac answers firmly.

"I'm ready to render a decision. Tyler and the Rabb home will be monitored by Mrs. Morales and reports will be sent to this court for review for the next six months, at which time, if the boy has adjusted and all parties still wish to adopt and be adopted, I'll finalize the adoption. Ms. LeMoine, given Tyler's current state, do you feel that the Rabbs should leave the courthouse with their son or is it best that they pick him up later today from the foster home?"

"It's been a long wait for all of them, Your Honor. I think they should leave together."

"Very well then, I order that the physical custody of Tyler be turned over to the Rabbs at this time. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Rabb," he says, and the gavel falls.

For us, the six month wait for the adoption to be finalized is a mere formality. Tyler is now ours. Mac and I stand and hug. While we're embracing, Frank pats my shoulder, and I think he has tears in his eyes. He shakes my hand and hugs Mac. My mom hugs us both, and then it's time to go into the corridor and tell Mattie and Tyler the judge's decision.

Mac and I each push one side of the double doors and emerge first, side by side. Tyler is sitting next to Mattie.

"Did the judge say no?" Tyler asks.

Mac is beaming as she responds and moves towards him with her arms extended, prepared to pull him into a hug that he'll never forget.

"He said yes!" she announces happily.

Tyler's getting the stuffing hugged out of him by Mac, so Mattie asks the important question.

"When does he get to start living with us? Is he coming to California with us tomorrow?"

"He's coming with us now," I answer. No one else says a word as everyone starts to hug each other and Tyler.

Ms. LeMoine gets my attention, and I step away from the others. "Do you want to go to get Tyler's things and let him say his goodbyes to everyone at the home now or do you want to wait until after lunch?"

"We should do that after lunch." I look to make sure that Tyler's busy and not paying any attention to us. "If we go by now to pick up his things and say his goodbyes, it might upset him, and we probably wouldn't get him to eat lunch. If we take him to eat first, hopefully, we'll be able to get him to eat something."

She and I set a window of time for us to go by the Potter house before she tells Tyler that she'll see him when he comes to get his things after lunch. Tyler looks up at Mac. "Can I have a milkshake with my lunch?"

Ms. LeMoine smiles. Her thought as she leaves the newly formed family to make their plans is, 'He's feeling better already.'

From the courthouse, we head back to the hotel. It's a good thing that it isn't lunch time yet. Frank and my mother aren't burger, fries and milkshake kind of people, so we'll leave them at the hotel when we go to lunch.

I was hoping that Ty would take a nap, but, apparently, he and Mattie struck up a different plan during the ride from the courthouse to the hotel. Ty is helping Mattie goad me into a rematch in the pool. The part of one of her lines that really gets me thinking that I should race her again is: 'in the very pool where I beat you the last time.'

I know that Mac senses my reason for not wanting to swim when she says, "Since Ty doesn't swim yet, if he wants to get wet, he can take off his shoes and socks and roll up his pant legs so that he can put his feet in the pool while you swim."

With a plan to keep the family that we've just become together, we go up to the rooms to let Mattie and me change. When we get to the pool, Frank and my mom are already down there to see if Mattie will beat me again.

Mattie and I hit the water. Frank calls the race, and I win the rematch, but not by much. Mattie and I stay in the pool to do some laps after the race. This is a good workout to substitute for running. At one point in our laps, I hear laughter and look up to see my mom, Frank and Mac, with Tyler on her lap, sipping iced tea.

After about an hour in the pool, Mattie and I are both water logged and look like prunes. She heads up to her room to change into dry clothes for lunch. I come over and plant a kiss on top of my wife's head. I don't get the chance to tell her that I'm going up to the room to change before Ty speaks.

"Harm, you're all wet and you're dripping on us. You need to go get on dry clothes," he says, and everyone chuckles at that.

"I was thinking that I should go to the room and change so that we can go to lunch. Are you going to wait for me here or are you two coming up with me?"

Mac holds up her glass of iced tea. "I think we'll wait for you here, finish our tea and chat until you return."

A fast food lunch isn't among the things that I do very often, but with Mac, Mattie and Ty along, I'm out voted. They did have a salad on the menu that won't ruin my diet, and, better than that, Tyler eats all of the four-piece chicken nugget kids' meal and fries, along with half of the chocolate milkshake that Mac shares with him.

After lunch, we're off to the Potter home. I don't know if it hasn't sunk in yet that he'll probably never see these people again or if he's just that ready to be adopted, but saying goodbye to everyone doesn't seem to faze him at all. Mattie has brought the camera with her again, and she's taking pictures. The one that I think that Ty will really appreciate is the one that she snaps of him and Miss Nancy.

There isn't much packing to do since Ms. LeMoine had called Miss Nancy after the hearing to tell her the outcome and about when we'd be by to pick up his things. She's packed his clothes and extra pairs of shoes in plastic bags for him to take. His bears are really the only toys that he has since the other things that he plays with belong to the home. He just got to use them while he was there. Miss Nancy also has a shoe box with the postcards and pictures that we'd sent him ready for him to take. Ty and Mattie head outside so that Ty can say goodbye to the boy next door who he played with after school.

With them outside, Miss Nancy takes the opportunity to have a word with us in private. She hands Mac a bag. "It's just a few little things that he or you might want or need on his trip or after he gets to his new home." Her eyes are tearing up. "There's a new box of crayons and a brand new coloring book in there. When it's raining outside, he likes to color, so I thought he might like to color on the plane. There's a piece of paper with a list of his favorite foods and I put a couple of recipes for some things that I make that he really likes. I told you that I've had him since he was two weeks old. Well, I've kept a baby album like he was mine. It's in the bag, too. I love him, so you'd better take very good care of him or you won't need to be worried about what the court does to you." She's crying now, and her words don't come out as threateningly as I think she wanted them to.

Mac hands me the bag and bestows a comforting hug on the woman before telling her, "You've done a wonderful job of raising him. I want to thank you for that. We love him, too, so I can promise you that we'll take very good care of him."

After Miss Nancy dries her eyes, we head outside. With a final hug between Ty and Miss Nancy, the four of us are on our way back to the hotel.

I know that I'm going to be sorry, but the ladies convince me to stop at the mall so that we can pick up a suitcase for Tyler.

During our stop at the mall, I learn that, when you take two women along to buy a piece of luggage, you can't go directly to the luggage department. Today, for example, we have to travel through the boys' department and toys before we get to the luggage. We also can't buy at the first store. We have to look to see if there's something we like better or if it's cheaper in another store before we make a purchase. With that kind of tour around the mall, I'm not surprised when we end up with not only a piece of luggage, but a new outfit for him to wear for his first plane trip.

I consider myself fortunate when we're out of the mall in time to get back to the hotel to put his things in our room before we meet my parents for dinner.

At dinner, Ty says that nothing on the menu sounds good to him. He ate all of his lunch, which is better than we've been told that he's been eating, so Mac and I don't want to push him to eat.

When our dinner plates arrive, Ty samples something off of everyone's plate, so he ends up eating a pretty good meal. During dinner, Ty asks his new grandpa if his room looks the same as ours, which leads Frank to invite him to go up after dinner to see their hotel room.

After dinner, we're off to check out Grandma and Grandpa's room before going to our rooms.

Once we've returned to our rooms, Mac helps Tyler move his things from the plastic bags and his backpack into his new suitcase. They then use his backpack to put his new crayons and coloring book in for easy access during the flight if he wants them. He has room for his bears in there as well. After packing him up for the trip, it's time for Tyler's bath and getting him ready for bed.

After Tyler's in his pajamas, it's my turn to chat with Tyler. We talk about his first flight tomorrow and what he can expect, and I ask if he has any questions. He sounds very excited about getting to fly in an airplane, which gives Mac an idea. Our flight doesn't leave until midday, so it's her idea to take Tyler by to see Sarah, if Mattie's okay with going to the airfield.

A movie before bed worked the last time, so Mattie brought a couple with her. She lets him choose one and sets it up for us while Mac and I take turns in the bathroom, changing into our pajamas. With Tyler between Mac and me on the bed in our room, we start the movie, 'The Lion King.' Tyler makes it through almost the whole movie, but falls asleep before it's over. Mac suggests that we wait for a little while to be sure that he's sound asleep before we try to move him, but I think it's an excuse to keep the movie playing until she sees how it ends.

After the movie is over, I scoop up Tyler and move him to his bed in the other room. I return to our room, but I make sure to leave the connecting door open.

Mac hasn't really been sleeping well for a few days, and I didn't sleep well last night, so once she and I are snuggled up together with our children safely tucked in their beds in the other room, we fall quickly asleep.

I feel Mac moving and hear her whispering, but I can't make out the words. I roll over to see that she's talking to Tyler.

I sit up a little. "What's up?" I ask in a voice groggy from sleep.

Mac reaches back and pats my leg. "He woke up and says that he can't get back to sleep. I'll put him back to bed. You go back to sleep."

I must not have been that awake earlier because I don't remember her getting out of bed, but I feel her snuggling up against me again.

"Is he back asleep?" I ask in a whisper.

"Yeah, I had to lie down next to him, but he finally went back to sleep."

"How long did he sleep before he woke you?"

"An hour and seven minutes," Mac replies.

We get comfortable and fall asleep again. I don't know how long he's been asleep this time, but he wakes me by tapping my shoulder.

I open my eyes, and Tyler speaks. "I had a bad dream."

"You did?" He nods his head. "I'll tuck you back in bed while you tell me about your dream," I say, pulling the covers back and preparing to get out of bed.

As I get up, Mac mumbles something that I don't understand, so I'm not sure that my response is correct, but I say, "I'll be back when I get him back in bed."

When I get back into bed, Mac says very clearly, "Did you get him back to sleep?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"He slept two hours and eleven minutes this last time."

"If he keeps sleeping in longer intervals each time, we may get to sleep through the night again, but I'm too tired to do the math and figure out how long it'll be until that happens."

Snuggled together again, we manage to get back to sleep ourselves.

I feel the pressure of Mac's hand pressing against my chest, which causes me to open my eyes. "Look," she says, pointing her finger towards the chair in the room. "You don't think that we should leave him there, do you?"

She's pointing at Tyler, who's curled up in the chair in our room, but he's asleep.

"I think we ought to move him back to bed. He obviously woke up and came in here, but this time he got himself back to sleep. I think we need to reinforce the fact that he should sleep in his bed...even if it is a hotel bed," I answer.

Mac agrees, and I take Tyler back to bed. He doesn't wake when I place him in bed and cover him up again. I wonder if this will be the last time I have to put him back in bed tonight as well as how long this is going to last.

As I crawl into bed with Mac again, I have a whole new respect for Bud and Harriet coming into the office when they had babies keeping them up all night.

I close my eyes to try to get back to sleep, thankful that I don't have to work tomorrow.

**THURSDAY, APRIL 13, 2006**

When Mac and I woke to start the day, Tyler was back in our room asleep in the chair. This time, when I tried to move him, he woke up. There didn't seem to be much point in trying to get him to go back to sleep when we'd be waking him soon anyway.

Mattie and Tyler shared the big breakfast special. Tyler ate one pancake, one slice of bacon and one egg, and drank a glass of milk. The rest of us kept to the lighter side of breakfast with coffee and a muffin.

Over breakfast, Frank points out that it looks like Tyler's appetite is back. He also comments that Tyler looks more rested and asks if he slept.

"He slept some, but not through the night."

Frank laughs. "That must be why he looks better and you two look like hell."

We finish breakfast and go upstairs to gather our things for check out. After checking out, we head to Grace Aviation to let Tyler have a look at my plane.

I think it's love at first sight because Tyler wants to go flying. I tell him that we don't have time today, but maybe someday he and I can go flying in her.

After the airfield, it's time to head to the Roanoke Airport.

On the plane, Tyler looks out the window at the clouds, asks some questions and colors for awhile. He still looks a little tired, but his energy level is up from yesterday.

After changing planes, Tyler spends some time talking to his grandpa before he returns to sit between Mac and me when we have to get our seat belts fastened for landing in San Diego.

We'd met Mom and Frank at the airport, so we have two cars going in the same general direction. Since I don't have to work tomorrow but Mac does, I tell Tyler that I'll take him over to Grandpa's house tomorrow while Mac's at work.

At the condo, we show Tyler around the place, trying to put his mind at ease and make him feel comfortable. When we show him his room, he seems overwhelmed. He sits at his desk and says, "This desk, this chair, the dresser, the table by the bed and the bed are all mine?"

"Yes," I say, and Mac adds, "And it's all in your room. Do you like it?"

He leaps off the chair. "I love it," he says before giving us each a big hug.

Mac then adds that maybe they can find some posters of cars or planes to put on the walls to decorate it. Tyler says that he wants a picture of a plane that looks like 'Sarah' and a poster of a car that looks like my Corvette. Yep, he's my boy! I wonder if he'd like to have my model of 'Sarah' that I've kept in my office all these years. I'll have to see if it makes it here in one piece and, if it does, I'll ask him if he'd like to hang it from the ceiling. Hmmm...maybe I won't sell my plane after all. Tyler did ask if he could take a ride in her. I wonder what it would cost to keep her out here versus Virginia. I'll have to see what Mac thinks about the idea of me flying my Stearman out here.

After we've helped Tyler put his clothes in his dresser and closet to help him realize that he's home now, we've finished another busy and tiring day and, once again, it's time to get Tyler ready for bed.

Adding to our fatigue is the fact that Mac and I kept getting up to tuck Tyler in last night. We're both tired and hoping that we don't have to get up as often with him tonight, but knowing that Mac has to work tomorrow, even though I know that she isn't looking forward to it because it means that she has to leave Tyler on his first full day here, if he gets up, I'll be in charge of getting him back in bed tonight.


	78. Chapter 78

**PART EIGHT – Almost Easter **

**FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 2006**

Tyler slept for almost three hours before he woke the first time last night. Three hours later, I was taking him back to bed.

The good news is that, when he wakes this time, he's slept almost four hours. The bad news is that it's a little before six in the morning and time to start a new day.

So, since it's almost time to get up anyway, and Ty insists that he isn't tired, he goes downstairs with me to help make breakfast while Mac showers and gets ready for work.

The three of us have almost finished eating when Mattie comes downstairs for breakfast.

When it's time for Mac to leave for work, she hugs Ty goodbye and kisses him on the forehead. He seems to be fascinated with Mattie, so I leave him to watch Mattie finish her breakfast while I walk Mac to the door.

At the door, she kisses my cheek. "After taking three days off, I have to go to work today, but it's the start of a holiday weekend, so I might be able to get away early."

"Mac, you're the CO and you've been away for three days. I'm afraid that there'll be a lot of work for you to catch up on. Take as long as you need. We'll be fine."

"Then let me get up with him tonight so that you can rest. You don't want to embarrass yourself or Frank on the golf course tomorrow because you're tired," she says teasingly.

"Okay, one more thing before you go," I say as I hand her the keys to my car. She looks puzzled. "I don't know if we're all going to Mom's, but there are three of us, so you get the two-seater, and I get the sedan today."

"I guess I'm going sporty today then." She grins as we exchange car keys and then places a soft kiss on my lips. "I'll see you later," she says as she walks out the door.

I go back to check on Ty and Mattie after Mac's gone, and Mattie volunteers to hang out with Ty and clean up the kitchen so that I can go for a run and then get a shower. I shouldn't be suspicious, but I am, and I wait for the catch that I think is coming, something along the lines of 'since I looked after Ty, can I stay out an extra hour on Friday night?' for instance. After a few moments of awkward silence, I decide that she had no ulterior motive and go to change for my run.

I run from the condo to the park and back, only a mile and a half, but I'm still on a sporadic running schedule and don't want to chance re-injuring my knee at this point. I'm playing golf tomorrow, but if I get some sleep tonight, I'll go for a run, too. One of the things on the therapist's list to help Ty settle in quickly was to get him on a schedule and stay with it. I need to do the same thing - get back into a routine and stick with it.

I return from my run to find Mattie and Ty on the couch, watching a cartoon. I'm not up on my cartoons these days, but I haven't been living under a rock either, so I know that the character on the screen at the moment is 'SpongeBob Squarepants'.

With everything calm at the moment, I head upstairs to shower and make myself presentable.

I come downstairs, feeling a little more awake. Mattie informs me that she took Ty up to brush his teeth, made sure that he picked out clothes to wear that matched and that he's changing and will be down in a minute. I ask her if she wants to come with us to Grandma's. She mentions that there isn't enough room for three in my car. I tell her that Mac took the 'Vette and I have the sedan. She's happy to hear it because she says that, after talking to Ty this morning, she thinks that she can help with the pictures that he wants for his room, but she needs to ask Grandma a question to be sure, so she'd like to come along.

I know that I'm going to be on the phone for a while with the real estate agent, so I decide to go up and check to see if Ty needs any help to get ready. I'll make my call from Mom's.

It takes a few minutes for all of us to be ready to go, but when we are, Mattie catches me off guard when she asks, "Can I drive?"

I know that she's driven before, but I've never ridden with her, and with the addition of Ty, I'm apprehensive. Reasoning that it's less than ten miles between the two places, though I'm not sure of the exact distance...and since she did just get her license, I agree to let her drive.

It turns out that Mattie's a pretty good driver, so there isn't even a tense moment on the way to Mom and Frank's. When we arrive, my mom is on her way to the gallery for a few hours to check on things that have happened while we were out of town, but she isn't in a big hurry, so she asks to speak to me privately.

Mom wants to know if we've made any plans for the Easter bunny to make an appearance at the condo for Tyler. It seems that, on the flight yesterday, one of the things that Tyler mentioned to his new grandpa was that he was going to miss the annual Easter egg hunt at the foster home. My mother outlines what she wants to do for Tyler if it won't clash with plans that we've made. My mom is having a hard time with calling him Ty like the rest of us. I'm not surprised. She's always been a little on the formal side, and to distinguish between my father and me, she called me Harmon when I was younger. She wasn't a big fan of my dad and my grandmother calling me Little Harm, but in time, she did start to call me Harm instead of Harmon.

After a quick call to Mac to verify that I wasn't just out of the loop but that we hadn't thought that far ahead, we accept my mom's offer to have us come over tomorrow after Frank and I get back from golfing so that Ty can decorate eggs for hiding and we can stay for dinner. Even after I point out to my mom that decorating eggs will lead to a mess, she continues unfazed with her plans, explaining that the Easter Bunny, Frank, will have the eggs hidden before we arrive on Sunday morning for the hunt.

When my mother is ready to leave for the gallery, Mattie wants to go with her so that they can verify the answer to Mattie's question. I don't know who's taken over the body of the woman who looks like my mother, but I'm floored when she asks Mattie if she wants to drive. My mother recommends that Mattie drive the car that she's used to, so I'm stranded at the house until their return. I'm not really stranded because Frank will loan me a car or take us anywhere we need to go, but it's still an odd feeling for me.

After the women leave, Frank takes Ty and me into his den. Ty is fascinated with the 42" TV, and when Frank points out the DVD player, Ty thinks that watching a movie on the big TV would be like going to the theatre.

It seems that Frank is secretly a Scooby Doo fan, so he sets up Ty with a Scooby movie to give us time to call the real estate agent. I wouldn't need Frank's help except that I left the number on a pad at the condo, so he's going to get the number for me. After he gives me the number, he joins Ty to watch the movie.

I join in watching the movie about halfway through. Scooby Doo, now that's a cartoon, a mystery solving dog. How cool is that? At the end of the movie, Ty has questions about some of the pictures in Frank's den, especially one of him and Grandma in front of a 'big boat.' Frank tells Ty that the 'big boat' is his 36' yacht. After telling Ty a little bit about it, surprisingly, Ty announces that he's hungry, and I realize that it's lunchtime.

I'm concerned that my parents won't have any food that will appeal to a seven-year-old. Frank had to remove the cellophane from the movie that he'd started for Ty and, once we get to the kitchen, I find that, along with the recent purchase of a Scooby Doo DVD collection, Frank has done some grocery shopping.

Ty eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crust cut off, half an apple, some carrot sticks and drinks a glass of milk. I'd say that the kid's appetite is definitely back. The only hurdle now is getting him to sleep through the night.

After lunch, Frank calls Mom and tells her that we're going out for a while. He's taking us to see the yacht.

Frank is having a great time showing Ty his boat. We're all having a good day, but I'm ready for a nap. I'll be glad when I can get an uninterrupted night of sleep. When we go below, Frank suggests that, perhaps over Memorial weekend, we can get underway for a few days.

I joke with Frank. "I'm married to a Marine, not a sailor, so I'll have to check with headquarters, but it sounds like a good idea to me."

Ty adds, "Me, too."

"Well, if the girls don't want to come, maybe we can make it a guys' voyage, but it's still a few weeks away, so we'll have to wait to see if Ty's feeling better first. He ate a good lunch, but he'll need to be sleeping well again, too," Frank says.

Too soon to suit Ty, it's time to head back to the house.

When we arrive back at my parents' home, Mattie and Mom are back from the gallery, and Mattie is talking to Paul on her cell phone. We find my mom in the kitchen, and when Ty bounces into the room and says, "Hi, Grandma," her face lights up like I've never seen it before. I don't know if it's the age difference between Ty and Mattie or the fact that she now knows that she may never have a biological grandchild, but she's accepting Ty and being a grandmother with the grace that only my mother can display.

So that Ty can spend some time with his grandma, too, we stay for a little while, but when Mac calls to say that she's on her way home and that she's sorry that she had to put in an entire day, we need to head home to start dinner.

I have dinner ready when Mac comes in. Mac's very tense, and I don't think that she's had a good day, but I'm not going to ask her about it until later. I also don't want to tell her about the plan for Easter with Ty in the room. It's Mattie who brings up a dinner topic that's 'safe.' She asks Ty what he did at Grandpa's today.

When Tyler starts school here, we'll have to add checking his homework to the routine, but, for now, it goes: dinner, kitchen clean up, and then an activity. Tonight, the four of us play card games of Go Fish and Crazy Eights until Mattie suggests dessert.

We each have a couple of Oreo cookies and a small glass of milk before it's time for Ty to get a bath and into his pajamas.

I love the boy, but I'm tired, so I'm ashamed to be relieved when it's time to tuck him into bed. He slept for a four hour stretch last night, but if he slips some, he should still sleep at least three hours at a time. Mac suggests that we go ahead and say good night to Mattie. Though it's early, if we turn in shortly after Ty, we stand a better chance of getting eight hours of sleep, though it might be three or four hours at a time.

Once in our room, we close the door to change, but we're thinking alike tonight and come together in a warm and tender kiss. My arms have encircled her, and she's in my arms when our lips part. "How was your day?" I ask.

"It was okay. I think it would have been better if I hadn't found out that two cases will probably have to be thrown out because of mistakes that could have been avoided, but I don't want to talk about work right now. How was your day?" she asks in return.

"It was nice, but I think that I was too tired to really enjoy it...and I missed you," I confess.

She raises her eyebrows, making her eyes appear larger. The soft brown pools draw me in and distract me from everything except her. Her voice is seductive. "I missed not being with you today, but I've been missing you in other ways for a few days as well." She places a quick kiss on my lips. "I know that we had more pressing things to do, but that doesn't change the fact that I've missed being with you." She nips at my ear. "Do you think that he'll sleep at least a couple of hours?"

"I figure at least three, but I'm hoping for four." Our lips come together in a passionate kiss.

When our lips part, she says breathlessly, "If you're too tired, it's okay. I can wait until you've gotten some sleep."

"I waited too long to be with you like this. I can sleep when I'm dead." My lips crash onto hers, and the dance of loving each other begins.

After lovemaking, she strokes my hair as I lie next to her in bed, exhausted and hopelessly in love with her.

As my eyelids become heavy and begin to droop, she whispers, "I'll be back to snuggle with you after I check on Ty." She kisses my forehead and pulls away to go look in on our son.

Feeling at peace with my life, I allow sleep to claim me.

**SATURDAY, APRIL 15, 2006**

Mac's in bed when the alarm goes off. I don't know if Ty slept through the night or if Mac got up with him and got him back to sleep, allowing me to get a full night's rest. I get up and put on a pair of shorts and a sweat shirt. I'll be glad when my stuff gets here and I have more than one dress suit and three choices of running clothes to wear, which reminds me that I've got to do some laundry today.

I check to make sure that everyone is still asleep before I leave for my run. I run the loop trail around the park, but before going back to the condo, I decide to run to the pool house and back, too. My total run this morning is two and a half miles, and I feel great.

After hitting the shower, I come out to wake my wife. I sit on the edge of the bed and bend to place a soft morning kiss on her lips. Her arms wrap around my neck, and the kiss becomes more intense than I'd planned, but a knock on our bedroom door keeps it to a kiss.

I have the slacks on that I'm going to wear to play golf, but no shirt, so I'm dressed decently enough to open the door. When I open it, there are blue eyes looking up at me.

"You were changing your clothes. I'll come back. Miss Nancy said that we had to knock when a door was closed. She said that whoever was in the room might be changing their clothes or talking about something important. She said that, because she and Mr. John were married, sometimes they needed to talk in private about married people stuff."

"And that's a very good rule. You should always knock when the door is closed." I'll have to send Miss Nancy a thank you note for having already taught him that married people need private time. "I just need to put on my shirt, and then we'll go downstairs to start some coffee for Mac and me, and see what we can find for breakfast while Mac gets dressed."

Ty's question over breakfast is, "Did Mac tell you that I woke up only two times last night?"

"Only two...much better, Buddy," I say, offering my praise.

"Since I'm doing better, do you think that Grandpa will take us on his big boat for that weekend?"

I get an odd look from Mac because I'd forgotten to tell her about the yacht cruise over the Memorial weekend. I remind Ty that a big boat like that is called a yacht. I also tell him that I'm sure that, if he keeps doing better, Grandpa will take him out on it, if not the weekend that he mentioned, then another one, but that he _will_ take him. Then I have to explain the deal that Ty and Frank have to Mac and Mattie.

Mattie's question over breakfast is, "Can I drive to work today?" I'm not sure if we're trying to impede her independence or if it's strictly the logistics of having three drivers and only two cars. Mattie's prepared with a solution. If she drops me off, I can ride with Frank to play golf, and Mac can have my car for her and Ty to get around. I won't be stranded at Frank's because we're all supposed to be meeting there late this afternoon anyway. My thought as Mattie is reciting her solution is, 'I could drop you off at Mom's, and you could ride with her to the gallery.'

After a conference between Mac and me while Ty is brushing his teeth and getting dressed, we agree to let Mattie drive herself to work. We also come to the realization that, not only do we need a bigger place, preferably a house, but we need another car, two cars, actually, since the sedan that we're using is Frank's. With other expenses coming up on almost a daily basis, I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time to bring up my idea of wanting to bring 'Sarah' across the country.

Mac isn't sure what she'll do with Ty, but she's happy that they're going to have some time for just the two of them after Mattie and I leave. Before we go, I remind her that she and Ty are expected at my parents' house this afternoon.

**TORREY PINES GOLF COURSE**

At the golf course, Frank's two friends, whom we'll be playing, are coming towards us. The first man gets close enough and extends his hand, not waiting for a formal introduction. "Frank tells us you go by Harm."

"Yes, sir," I reply.

"Not sir...Joe." Joe looks at the other man with him. "Sam, can you believe that we're finally meeting Frank's son, who he's always bragging about?"

The other man extends his hand. As I take Sam's hand, I can hear the puff of air that Frank lets out like he's a deflating tire. "No, Joe, I can't believe it." As we shake hands, Sam says to me, "We've heard so many good things about you from Frank. If Trish hadn't backed up his stories, we wouldn't have believed you were real."

"Frank, how did that trip work out for you? Did you get that grandson of yours?" Joe asks.

"We got him. My granddaughter has been taking all kinds of pictures, so next time I see you, I'll have pictures with me."

We play 18 holes, and Frank and I both play exceptionally well today, but his friends' egos are stinging a little, so Frank gladly buys them a drink at the 19th hole so that he can gloat about the two strokes that we beat them by before heading home.

We're in the car, and Frank has just pulled onto the freeway when he speaks, "Harm, I want to apologize for -"

I don't want this to be awkward for either one of us, so I cut him off. "It's okay, Frank. I gave you a lot of grief about you not being my father, but you've never hesitated to call me your son, and I'm honored that you'd want to after the way I treated you when you came into our lives."

This time, the air that Frank releases sounds like a sigh of relief. I don't know if he's uncomfortable with this topic, but I am, so I'm relieved when the next thing he says is, "I've known those two guys for about thirty years now. I can't tell you how many times they've come up smelling like a rose on the course, but today, we showed them how the game is supposed to be played. I've got to tell you, Harm, it felt great."

"Get some mileage out of it, Frank. Tell them that they'll have to play us again when my clubs get here, because you're sure that we'll play better when we don't have to share clubs." We both laugh the 'hearty guy laugh' of victory. I don't think that I've ever laughed like that with Frank.

We arrive at their house, but my car isn't there. The car that Mattie drove is, so maybe Mattie went to the condo to pick up Mac and Ty so we wouldn't have both cars here. Inside, we find that Mattie's here, but Mac isn't. Mac had called to say that she was on her way, not from the condo, but a shopping center in Mission Valley. They'd gone to check out a store that specializes in educational toys and books.

My mom is waiting impatiently for Mac and Ty to arrive. She's covered the small table in the eating area off the kitchen with a vinyl cover to protect the wooden table beneath. She's gone all out with a kid's art smock, a large mixing bowl heaping with hard boiled eggs and everything a kid could want for decorating eggs, from dyes to stickers.

When Mac arrives with Ty, my mom ushers him to his prepared work space to allow her latest artist to create masterpieces on eggshells so that he can be 'discovered'. I watch and listen to my mom work patiently and happily with Tyler. My mom is so much more relaxed than I can ever remember her being with me.

Frank brought a camera out of his den right after we arrived to let Mattie take some test shots. It's a camera that he bought when he retired and thought that photography would be a way to keep busy. It's something that he still has an interest in doing, but with Mattie currently taking pictures chronicling Ty's arrival, he thought that his camera might be of more use to her. She's taking turns with her camera and his to capture all the excitement of decorating Easter eggs.

What's just as fascinating to me as watching and enjoying Ty decorate Easter eggs is watching my mom decorate an egg herself. I hope that Mattie gets a picture of that.

Another shot that I hope that Mattie gets is one of Mac and Ty decorating eggs together. I don't think that I've ever seen Mac's eyes shine like that before.

The picture that I hope that she doesn't take is when I decide that everyone else looks like they were having such fun that I have to decorate one, too. The egg comes out an ugly shade of brown when I dye it and, somehow, I manage to crack the shell.

Mac smiles sweetly at me and says, "You did a good job." Then she pats me on the back as if she were comforting Ty for a well-intentioned job gone wrong.

Having suffered the humiliation of the ugliest egg, I step back to assume my position in the doorway to observe.

Frank's been waiting for me so that he can give me his take on Easter egg decorating. "I'm not good at it either. I think that's the way it's supposed to be. We can't decorate 'em, so we do the hiding," he says with a chuckle.

Frank and I watch as Mattie, who's been swearing that she wants only to observe, takes her turn at decorating an egg. She does pretty well and starts another one. I turn to see if I can find one of the cameras so that I can capture a picture of the 'picture taker' enjoying the festivities.

Once the eggs are done, Mac and I volunteer to do the clean up while Mom works on getting dinner on the table so that we can eat.

Dinner is delicious, and Mac and Mattie help with the after dinner clean up. No longer than we've been a family, things seem to be going pretty smoothly.

With the dinner clean up done, it's time for us to head back to the condo.

Arriving at the condo, Mac says that she has purchases to take in from the car. It turns out to be only a couple of bags, one of which is books. She's excited that Ty likes dinosaurs and has bought him some of the books that her Uncle Matt had first given to her to learn about them. She also bought a book of short bedtime stories. She tells me that she left another bag with some classic stories, 'Peter Rabbit' and 'The Velveteen Rabbit' at the house so that he can get them from the Easter bunny. She wants him to have a full Easter basket, but she doesn't want him to have a lot of candy.

From dinner on, we have the routine down pretty well, but before the routine begins, Mattie has a request. She asks if she and I can go to the pool tomorrow so that she can get in her weekly swim. I'm feeling good after my longer run and 18 holes of golf, but to follow the doctor's advice and to spend time with Mattie, I happily opt to replace my run with a pool workout tomorrow.

We have Ty tucked in at the regular time and we each read him one of the short bedtime stories from his new book before he drifts off to sleep.

Pretty sure that most of our day tomorrow will be filled with Easter related events, Mac and I prepare our uniforms for Monday morning. I'm pleased when Mac says that, before they went shopping, she did some laundry that should get us through until at least mid-week. We also discuss talking to Ty about staying at Grandpa's while we're at work this coming week, and about the possibility of taking the Memorial weekend cruise on Frank's yacht. I explain that it should be a pretty neat trip for everyone because we'd be just off the coast and we'd be able to see the fireworks being shot off over SeaWorld every night.

Mac comes over to me and takes a wad of my shirt material in each hand and pulls me towards her. "Fireworks like I saw last night, Sailor?" she utters in a throaty growl.

"I was tired last night, so I hope better than that." I lean in to kiss her, preparing to prove that I can do better.

"Mmmm," is all I hear from her as our lips come within a fraction of an inch away from each other before the spell is broken by the sound of footsteps outside our door.

Mac releases my shirt and pulls back. "He's been asleep for only an hour and nineteen minutes," she whispers.

I go to open the door, but, with my hand on the knob, I turn to Mac. "We didn't hear him coming up to the door this morning, so why would we be able to hear him now? I don't think it's him. I think it must be Mattie," I whisper back.

"We need to go check on him to be sure," she whispers in return. I nod and turn the knob.

As we approach his room, we hear Ty say, "I had a bad dream."

"What happened in your dream?" We hear Mattie ask.

"I couldn't sleep all night so I couldn't go on Grandpa's big boat, and Harm and Mac sent me back to live with Miss Nancy. I like it here. I don't want to go back."

"Let me tell you a short but true story," Mattie then says.

Mac starts to charge towards Ty's door, but I reach for her, snag her arm and pull her in close. "Let's just listen for a minute," I whisper.

Mattie continues, "You're so much younger than I am that I don't think that I ever told you why I was at Miss Nancy's. My mother died a couple of years ago, and my dad didn't handle it very well, so he'd left me alone for months. While my father was gone during those months, I met Harm at the airfield where you saw his plane the other day. Even though I was a lot older than you, when Harm found out that I was alone, he wanted to look out for me and take care of me. He got papers from the court that said that he'd be responsible for me and took me in. I lived with Harm until my father came back. I wanted to go back to live with my father and I told Harm that, and he let me leave. The problem was that my dad hadn't really gotten over being sad about my mother, so when I had a really bad accident and needed him to take care of me, he left me alone again. Can you guess who was there to make me feel better?"

"No," Ty says quietly.

"Harm," Mattie answers.

"I'm going to tell you something that I hope you can understand. You see, there are men like my dad who can't deal with things when life gets rough, and they walk away from their children even when they really need them, like when I was hurt in the accident. Then there are dads, like Harm, who even though I left him, he was there when I needed him, and I know that he always will be. You need to know that Harm wouldn't have gone to the judge to tell him that he wanted to adopt you if he didn't want you, and you won't be able to do _anything_ that will make him want to send you back. Do you understand?"

"I think so, but what about Mac?" Ty asks.

"Mac's like Harm. I gave her a really hard time for awhile, not helping around here and stuff like that, but even when I was being the biggest brat that anyone could be, she never even acted like she wanted to send me back. So trust me...if they still love me after everything that I did, there isn't anything that you could do to make them love you any less. So you can go to sleep and dream of going on Grandpa's boat, flying with Harm in his plane, having a baby brother or sister, or any other thing that you ever wanted when you got adopted, because we aren't letting you go anywhere. Okay?"

"Okay." Ty sits up and gives Mattie a hug before lying back down.

Mattie pulls his covers back up into place. "Now close your eyes and have sweet dreams."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" We hear Ty ask quietly.

"Sure," Mattie replies.

Mac has to practically drag me back to our bedroom. I want to go into his room and hug them both.

Back in our room behind closed doors, Mac says, "I know that you wanted to go in there and hug them to pieces, but I think that was a big sister to little brother moment. We couldn't ruin it by walking in there and letting her know that we heard everything that she said, but wasn't what she said just beautiful and perfect?" Mac has tears rolling down her cheeks.

I'd wipe her tears, but I'm too busy trying to wipe mine away before she sees that I'm crying, too. I reach for the light switch, and the room goes dark.

We stand in the darkness, holding each other for several minutes before we can let go of each other long enough to make our way to bed where we use our bodies to express the love that we feel for each other, but, in the past, had found so hard to say.


	79. Chapter 79

**PART NINE – Never Too Late **

**SUNDAY, APRIL 16, 2006**

Mac and I are snuggled up together in the middle of the bed when we wake. We feel relaxed and rested, but it's the sensation of our skin making contact that seems strange. We've been wearing pajamas to bed every night lately to be able to get up without hesitation to get Ty back to bed. Last night, we went to check on him, but Mattie was there and did a great job of getting him back to sleep. We'd come back to our room and enjoyed the slow and tender lovemaking that's both physically satisfying and an emotional experience. The combination of which is what makes my relationship with her different from any other I've ever had, but why are we both still naked?

"Mac, did you get up with him?"

"No, did you?" she asks.

"No, do you think that he slept through the night or that he went to Mattie?"

"I'm hoping for the first, but we'll have to ask Mattie if she got up with him again."

We didn't have to ask Mattie about getting up with Ty because, when we go to wake him for breakfast, he volunteers the answer.

His eyes open as we walk in the room, and we say good morning. He bounces out of bed and announces with pride, "I had a bad dream last night. I was on my way to your room when Mattie came out of the bathroom. She brought me back to my room and explained it to me, and I slept until you woke me up. Don't forget to tell Grandpa so that I can go on his big...yacht!"

We all gather for a Sunday morning family breakfast of Mac's French toast before heading to the first annual Burnett/Rabb Easter egg hunt. Mattie and I are going to do our swim in the pool at the Burnett residence after the hunt. We're searching for eggs first so that the eggs are found before they've been out in the sun too long and to give our breakfast time to settle before swimming.

We gathered up our swim wear last night, so we grab our gear after cleaning up our breakfast dishes and leave for my parents' house.

The Easter bunny was very busy hiding three dozen hand-decorated Easter eggs and a dozen plastic ones filled with different items. Mattie's taking pictures of Ty and Mac searching for Easter eggs to fill Ty's basket. From what I know of Mac's childhood, this is probably the first time that she's hunted for Easter eggs. It doesn't take long for the rest of us to see Mattie's desire to join them. It's Frank who finally asks, "Mattie, have you ever hunted for Easter eggs?"

When Mattie's response is no, Frank volunteers to take over the picture taking so that she can hunt for eggs, too. She declines Frank's offer at first, but the draw to help Ty find all the eggs so we can go swimming is a tempting cover for her to seize the opportunity to hunt for eggs, and her desire to indulge in a childhood activity that she never got to enjoy is overwhelming, so she's soon searching for her first egg.

At the patio table on the deck, Mattie and Ty each count out their Easter eggs. With Mac's help and the fact that Mattie started late, Ty found 28 of the 36 eggs that were hidden. During the counting, Ty picks up the brown egg and proudly announces, "I found Harm's egg." I hope the ugly egg isn't going to be something that haunts me for years to come, much like my shooting holes in the courtroom ceiling did.

After verifying the count to make sure that we won't have to try to find the cause of an offending odor from a rotting egg, the hunt is over. They've all been found, and Ty's the big winner. By finding the most eggs, he becomes the proud receiver of a twenty-dollar bill from Grandpa.

Next on the agenda is to find out what treasures are hidden within the twelve plastic eggs. Those eggs are a little more evenly divided. Ty has seven and Mattie has five. Two of Ty's and one of Mattie's have two pieces of hard candy inside. Two of Mattie's and two of Ty's have two miniature chocolate candy bars inside. One of Mattie's two remaining eggs has a plastic bunny ring inside. One of Ty's remaining eggs has a bunny shaped eraser inside. All three remaining eggs have money in them. To add to Ty's twenty for most eggs found, he has a five and a one-dollar bill. Mattie's last egg has a ten dollar bill folded up inside.

After the egg hunt, it's time for Mattie and me to change for the pool. Mac and Ty join us in the pool after we've completed our first couple of laps. At first, they sit on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water while Mattie and I swim laps. Mattie and I aren't racing, but we do use each other to spur us on to faster times. Another characteristic that she has in common with Mac and me is that she's very competitive.

Mac's been keeping Ty close to the stairs in the shallow end while Mattie and I swim laps. Once Mattie has called it a day and has headed inside to get into dry clothes, it's time to see if Ty's ready to try out what Mac's been teaching him.

Ty has the back float down, but he needs practice with swimming, though he certainly does very well for never having done it before.

We get out of the pool when Mattie comes out to tell us that my mom has put out some finger foods and relish trays in place of serving lunch. Since, at any holiday meal, there's good food and plenty of it, a lighter than normal lunch is a good idea.

After we're all dry, we have a snack. There's a method to the order of things because, after Ty has had some carrot sticks, apple slices, and some cheese and crackers, Frank brings out Easter baskets for Ty and Mattie from his den.

Ty is so excited as he takes out and identifies each item in his Easter basket that I wonder what he'll be like when he's opening Christmas presents. In his basket are the books that Mac got him, a stuffed blue bunny, two new movies and a chocolate Easter rabbit. Mattie's basket has the stuffed bunny in a pale yellow and a chocolate rabbit, but those two items and an envelope are all that's in Mattie's basket. However, the envelope contains a prepaid Visa card that Mattie can use to purchase anything she wants. When she opens it, Frank says, "Thought you might need gas money now that you're driving."

With the baskets given away, my mom excuses herself from the living room to go check on the ham that she's baking. Mattie asks if she and Ty can invade Grandpa's den to watch a movie on the big screen television.

There are only adults in the living room when my mother returns, and it doesn't take long for her to start asking questions. "Frank told me that you called his real estate friend on Friday about a house. Has he called you back?"

"No, but I wasn't expecting one soon. I told him that we weren't in a big hurry because the lease on the condo doesn't end until November first. With the market being tight here, I told him that we didn't want to wait until the last minute to start looking, either. We think it'll take some time for us to find something that meets our current needs and those of the foreseeable future," I answer.

"Are you looking to buy or rent a house?" Frank asks.

"That was part of the problem when I talked to the agent. We aren't sure. There are definitely pros to buying, like the tax advantage, which would help now that we're both drawing O-6 pay. However, the fact that, when or if we get transferred, the sale of the house might add to the stress of moving, so in that respect, renting is better. Basically, I told him that, if he found a house that matches 90 to 100 percent of our 'needs and wants list' in either option, to give us a call and we'd look at it. I know that's vague, but, for now, it'll have to do. He said that he'd touch base with us before next weekend to let us know if there's anything available that comes close to matching our list."

Frank and my mom seem overly curious about what we want in a home, but we have a couple of hours to kill before dinner, so Mac and I indulge them and answer their questions. As the housing questions fade, I change the topic to cars by asking Frank if he still gets discounts on cars now that he's retired. He says that he does and asks if I have a particular car in mind. When I explain to him about the car shortage in the household, he nods with understanding. My mom excuses herself to go check on dinner as Frank asks us questions about what we want in a car. After talking about cars for Mac or Mattie, Frank says that we can keep the 'borrowed car' as long as we need to and we should go to a lot and check out cars to see if we can find something we want. If we see something, we shouldn't buy it on the spot, but let him know what kind of car it is and the features on it, and he'll make a call for us.

As the car conversation winds up, Mac excuses herself to go see if Trish needs help with anything. A few minutes later, Ty appears with Mattie following closely behind. The movie is over, and he wants to tell us all about it. It's amazing how much time can go by when you're being entertained by a seven-year-old, because it seems like it's been only a couple of minutes when Mac comes back into the room, though it's been a lot longer.

"Trish wanted me to tell everyone that dinner will be ready in less than thirty minutes, so she hopes that no one's famished, and, Frank, she wanted me to remind you that, if you haven't opened wine for dinner yet, you need to please do it now so that it has time to breathe."

"She didn't say please, though, did she?" Frank asks with a wink.

"No, but it was implied by her tone."

"Lawyers!" Frank chuckles.

Mac asks Mattie to help with a few of the last minute things in the kitchen, and Frank goes off to fetch a bottle of wine to open.

Once it's just Ty and me, the curious little boy sitting next to me asks, "What's famished mean?"

"It means that you're so hungry that you don't know if you have enough strength to get to the table."

Frank is back in a couple of minutes with a question. "Do you think that one bottle will be enough or should I open two?"

"You, Mom and I will have wine with dinner, but Mac won't want any, so one bottle should do it."

Frank is off again and returns with the wine and, once he's opened it, he goes to the kitchen to tell Mom that he's completed his task.

When Frank returns to the living room, Ty acts like he's missed him and asks him excitedly, "How much longer until dinner? I'm famished!"

I smile, knowing that he's known the meaning of the word for less than five minutes, yet I'm proud that 'my boy' has used the word correctly.

"She didn't say exactly, but..." Frank inhales deeply and lets it out slowly. "...from the smells coming from the kitchen, I'd say that we'll be able to feed you before you're too weak. I'd say ten to fifteen minutes."

Ty repeats Frank's deep inhale and slow exhale. "Yeah, Grandpa, I'd say you're right."

Frank and I smile, and I have the feeling that this is the perfect time to make sure that, though Ty's been told, he understands that he'll be spending his days with Grandpa while Mac and I are at work until he starts school. Ty asks questions every once in awhile, like if Frank knows how to swim, but we aren't sure that we're explaining things in a way that he understands without making him anxious. We still aren't sure until Mac comes in to tell us that dinner's ready.

"Mac, since I don't have to go to school for a couple of weeks, I get to come over to see Grandpa every day while you and Harm are at work. Grandpa knows how to swim, so maybe he'll help me practice so I can swim like Mattie," he says, walking away with his hand in Mac's...sounds like he has at least the general idea to me.

We sit down to a table that looks like Martha Stewart herself set it. Our casual dress doesn't seem to fit the formality of the table setting or the dinner as the first course makes its way to the table. My mother has pulled out all the stops for this first holiday where her son and his family have been all in one place.

When the only course that's left is dessert, my mom suggests that we let our dinner settle a little before it's served, giving her time to clear away some of the dishes that have piled up. The meal has been delicious and filling, so we could use a break before dessert.

My mom has worked hard for us to have had this wonderful weekend and meal, so not wanting her to carry so much of the load, we all offer to help with cleaning up. My mom is thankful for the help, so she offers no argument.

Mac and I each take our plates and one of Ty's into the kitchen, leaving him only his salad plate to carry. We want Ty to learn to help and be responsible, but I have no idea how old or expensive the plates are that Mom used. However, knowing my mother's expensive tastes, I think that one plate is risking enough.

Frank and Ty are first into the kitchen and then they disappear into the den. Ty wants to watch one of his new movies that the Easter bunny brought.

Mac and Mattie are in the kitchen, scraping plates and loading the dishwasher. On my way out of the kitchen from handing off my dishes, I see my mom making sure that the table is cleared and ready for dessert when we are. I approach her and pull her into a long overdo mother and son hug.

"Mom, dinner was fabulous. Actually, the entire weekend has been. Thank you. It means a lot to me that you've accepted my family."

"I wasn't sure that you knew, but I've always thought that Mac was someone special. I know that I wasn't supportive when I found out about Mattie, but a lot of that's your fault, Harmon."

I raise one eyebrow and give her the 'I can't believe that you just called me Harmon' look. I get a reaction when I use it on Mac, but my mom's immune.

"How do you figure that it's my fault?" I ask.

"You didn't say a word when you took Mattie in originally. You told us after you'd filed for permanent guardianship. Hardly any time passed from one event in your life to the next, if you remember. After telling us about seeking custody of Mattie, you called to say that you were being transferred to London. I'm thinking that I'm never going to meet this daughter of yours, and then you phone to say that you're getting married. Then I finally meet Mattie when I come for your wedding, an event that I'd given up on ever happening. I was happy for you, but it was a very emotional day. You know, most mothers get an eight or nine month period to get used to the idea that they're going to be a grandmother." She pauses, and her face takes on a serious expression. "Why didn't you tell me that I might never be a grandmother in the usual way?"

"If I'd told you, would you have been against my marriage to Mac?"

She takes offense, and both her voice and stance reflect it. "No, of course not! If you love her and she's the one who makes you happy, it doesn't matter if she can have babies or not. I just want you to be happy."

The meaning of her own words seem to sink in as she says them aloud, and her demeanor changes. I think that she does understand now, but I offer more information to solidify that I didn't withhold it from her to be deceitful.

"Why would I want to spoil the news of our engagement or ruin our wedding day by telling you something like that? It was a time to be happy. I suppose there are other reasons for not telling you. For instance, it's a private matter that Mac and I need to deal with as a couple first and without pressure or pity from anyone...and let's face it, it isn't news that you just drop on people as part of dinner conversation, so there really wasn't a good time to talk about it. I also didn't mention it because they said that it would be difficult and therefore not very likely that she could get pregnant. The probability is pretty low, but they didn't say that it's impossible."

"It sounds like you've talked about giving Tyler a baby brother or sister the old-fashioned way."

"Yes, we're talking about it," I confess.

My mother gets a sheepish smirk on her face. "Maybe that's the problem, too much talking. Surely you're old enough to know that talking isn't how you get a baby."

My mom's comment takes me completely by surprise, and I'm speechless, a rare thing for me. Of course, my mother's comment is a rare thing for her to say.

What could be a little awkward becomes more so when Mac walks in the room. "The kitchen's looking pretty good. Mattie's finishing up, but I wanted to check to see if there's anything else that we can do to help, Trish." Mac must see the odd looks on our faces, because she doesn't wait for an answer. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

I don't know what comes over me, but I say it. "My mother was asking if we were thinking about a younger sibling for Ty."

"Oh, did you tell her that we're talking about it?" Mac asks me.

I'm the one smirking now. I'll let my mother field that question.

"He didn't tell me if you had a time frame or any details, but he did say that you want another child."

When Mac responds, I'm rendered speechless for the second time this evening.

"If you were talking about how many I _want_, the answer is - half a dozen."

My mom looks at me and gets that grin on her face again. "I'll let you two talk about that while I go see who's ready for dessert." My mother walks towards Frank's den with that smirk still firmly in place.

"Did you just say that you want half a dozen children?" I manage to squeak out.

"Yes," Mac answers with a grin.

"When did you decide that?" I ask in shock.

"I think the first time I thought of that number was when I was trying to process the doctor's statement that I probably couldn't have even one. When she said that, I thought to myself, 'I'll show you. I'll have half a dozen.' Seeing you with Ty and hearing Mattie talk to him last night, I can easily see you as being a dad to at least half a dozen."

"Does this half a dozen that you're talking about include the two that we've already got?"

"I hope you understand. The six includes Ty, because you and I got him together, but Mattie's your child by a previous arrangement. I love her and she's part of our family, but she doesn't count as part of _our_ six."

"So when is our appointment with the fertility doctor? To get six, I'm not going to be able to miss the appointment. We need to get started."

"You're agreeing to six?" she asks in surprise.

"I think it's going to be like negotiating a plea agreement to reach a deal on a case. We'll ask for six, hope for three, but we'll be happy if all we get is one baby who's ours."

My mom made her way back into the kitchen at some point, and she comes out into the dining room with Mattie, announcing that she's ready to serve dessert.

It takes a moment for Frank and Ty to reach the table. "Sorry to keep everyone from their dessert, but we had to make sure that we paused the movie."

When the dessert dishes are empty, my mom looks at Mattie and asks, "Do you want me to go up and get them?"

"If you don't mind, we can each bring one down. It would make it easier for me."

"Sure," my mother replies to Mattie before addressing the others at the table, "Mattie has a surprise for Tyler for his room. So leave the dishes on the table and everyone meet us in the living room. We'll be down in a minute."

We all follow her instructions and move to the living room. When Mattie and my mom enter the living room, they're each holding a poster-sized framed picture with the backs towards us so that we can't see what the pictures are.

"At one of the galleries that Grandma took me to in London, there was an exhibit by a photographer. Some of the pictures were so good that I got really interested in photography. I started taking a lot of pictures that afternoon. When I get a roll or two developed, I ask for Grandma's expert opinion on the shots. You know, lighting, subject, well...everything. Anyway, Ty told me on Friday morning that he wanted posters of a car and a plane like Harm's. After getting Grandma's help, I think we have just what he wants. We gave some shots that I took to a photographer that Grandma knows. He blew them up to poster size and framed them for us before dropping them off at the gallery on Saturday afternoon. I hope that they're what you want and you like them, Ty."

She turns the picture around that she's holding. It isn't a picture of a car _like_ mine. It's a picture of _my_ car taken out in front of _this_ house. So Ty has a picture of my car and the front of this house. It's a nice shot, but the next picture is terrific. My mom turns the picture around that she's been holding. It isn't only a picture of my plane, but with Ty sitting in it. At the airfield when we went there with Ty a few days ago, I'd let Ty sit in her. I'm in the shot, too. I'm standing on the wing, pointing to an instrument and explaining its purpose. The planes are different, but the picture has an uncanny resemblance to the picture of me and my dad that I still carry in my wallet.

Ty is thrilled that he's on a poster, and thanks and hugs Mattie. Mac is thrilled that Ty's so happy. I hug Mattie and tell her that they're great pictures and give her a thank you for taking them and having them made for Ty.

After Mattie reveals the pictures, it isn't late, but we want to keep Ty on his schedule and we need to be prepared to get up with him if need be and still get enough sleep that we can both get to work on time tomorrow. I load the pictures and our wet gear from swimming into the car to take to the condo while Mac and Mattie help Mom clear the dessert dishes from the table.

When I return to the house, Mac and my mom are near the door talking, while Frank and Ty are on the couch having a chat.

I hear Mac say to my mother, "This has been the best Easter that I've ever had. The whole weekend and tonight's meal were all so wonderful. Thank you for doing this for us."

"You know, I'd forgotten how much work a holiday meal can be, but I can't tell you how happy I am to have done it, so you're welcome, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it."

I've been listening to my mom and Mac talk, but the sight of the pouting young man with Frank causes me to take a step closer to them to hear at least part of their conversation.

"I don't want to go yet. I need to finish watching my movie," Ty tells Frank.

"You don't want Harm and Mac to think that you don't want to go home with them, do you?"

"No," Ty tells Frank.

"Then you need to go home when they say it's time because they're your parents now. They know that you need to get ready for bed and get a good night's sleep. You're going to be coming over here early in the morning, so we'll start your movie over and watch it together tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Ty replies.

"You want to know something else that Grandpa knows?" Ty nods his head. "I know that you'll be seeing a lot of me, and we're going to do a lot of stuff together. You'll see me so much that you'll want to run out of here when they say it's time to go. So give me a hug and get going before you get Grandpa in trouble with your parents." I watch as Frank gives Ty a big hug and kisses him on top of his head.

The embrace with Grandpa broken, Ty is at my side in a flash, and we're all out the door soon afterward.

We ask Mattie to drive us home as a gesture of thanks for all that she's done for Ty in the last twenty-four hours.

Once inside the condo, we go through the routine of getting Ty ready for bed and reading him a couple of stories.

We check on Mattie. We've thanked her for the pictures, but we ask her about her interest in photography. We spend a little while chatting about the fact that she likes it so much that she's considering it as a career choice, but she isn't definite about it yet. We talk until the flash and beep of her computer tells her that someone is sending her an instant message. It's Paul, and she responds that she'll be with him in a minute. She explains that they'd scheduled this time to be online so that they could tell each other what Easter with their families had been like. The family nature of the day has affected everyone, and she takes time away from her laptop screen to stand and give Mac and me each a hug and tell us that she loves us before saying good night to us and that she'll see us in the morning.

Mac and I head to our room to get ready for bed. We're undressing, and I ask Mac, "Do you think that he'll sleep through the night again?"

"Between what Mattie told him last night and the non-stop day that he had today, I think he will. Why do you ask? Have something in mind besides sleeping?"

I lower my voice to make my response sound suggestive. "Yeah, I have lots of things on my mind." I pull back the covers and get into bed, wearing only my boxers.

Mac slips on a short, silk gown. "You've been awfully quiet since we left your folk's place. Are you okay?" she asks with concern in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been thinking," I answer.

"We need practice at this. Talk to me, Harm. What have you been thinking about?" She slips into bed next to me and then pulls up the covers.

"Hey, according to my mother, we need to do_ less _talking." Mac has that puzzled look on her face again. "My mom asked if we'd thought about Ty having a sibling, and I told her that we were talking about it. She said that she thought that I was old enough to know that talking isn't how you get a baby, and, if we wanted one, we should do_ less _talking."

"Your mother said that? I wouldn't have suspected that she'd say something like that, out loud, I mean."

"Yeah, it took me by surprise, too," I confess.

"So you've been thinking about your mother talking about us having sex or about having children?"

"No, I've been thinking about what Mattie said last night to Ty and about some of the conversations that I've heard Frank and Ty have over the last few days." I take her into my arms and enjoy the feeling of having her close to me. "Have you noticed that Frank and Mom are Grandma and Grandpa and we're Harm and Mac?"

"I told you the story about the first time that I met Paul. I introduced myself, 'Hi, I'm Mac, Mattie's...' I was searching for a way to link us, and Paul finishes, 'Her mom, Mattie's told me about you.' You heard for yourself last night how important you are to her. She may not call us mom and dad, but she does think of us in that way. I think, for Ty, it's that they're only words to him. He's never had a mom or dad before...at least that he remembers."

"It was just an observation that I made."

"How are Mattie's talk with Ty and Frank talking with Ty related? What observation did you make there?"

"I think that Mattie does see me as a dad, but I know that she feels that Tom's her dad, too, so to call me dad in the open would somehow lessen the importance of her father in her life."

"I think that's a very good theory. I hadn't thought of it like that," Mac responds.

"Watching Frank with Ty, I see what a good grandpa he is, and I think back and I know that I missed out on having a good dad because I didn't want him to replace my father. Listening to Mattie last night, I wish that someone would have explained it to me like she explained it to Ty. I know that my father didn't leave me because he wanted to, but the fact is that he was gone. I felt that accepting another dad would make me disloyal, so I fought Frank on everything. The man could do no right in my eyes, and he never once gave me any indication that I wasn't welcome in his home. I'm sure that my attitude and behavior was the reason why Mom and Frank didn't have any children. I'll bet that my mom said let's wait until Harm settles into the new house and gets used to having a man around again, and then we'll have a baby, but I never accepted him. Did you know that the house that they live in now wasn't the first house that we lived in? The first house had six bedrooms. I don't think that Frank necessarily wanted to fill all of them with children, but I do think that he wanted to be a dad and a father. Instead, he got to be neither. He's a good man. He deserved better from me."

"Tell him that," Mac says.

"It's all in the past. It's too late to change anything," I say with remorse that it's taken me this long to see it from Frank's perspective.

"If Mattie calls you Harm until you're ninety-nine, and then on your hundredth birthday she says, 'Happy birthday, Dad,' would it be too late for you to hear that she loves you and that she appreciates all the times that you were there for her, even when she didn't show it at the time?"

"No, of course not."

"Harm, it's never too late to tell someone that they touched your life in ways of which you may not even have been aware at the time. Talk to him, Harm. He loves you and he'll be happy to know that you understand that. I'm not saying that you'll be ready tomorrow or this weekend, but when you _are_ ready, talk to him. Unburden yourself from the guilt that you feel over the trouble that you caused or at least think you caused. Apologize to him if you think that's what you need to do. If you still believe in fate, maybe that's the reason why we're all in one place here and not in London or Naples, because it's time for you to resolve this with Frank. It's never too late to tell someone that you love them." She brushes her lips against mine in a barely there kiss. "I love you."

"And I love you," I say before my lips capture hers.


	80. Chapter 80

**CHAPTER ELEVEN - ROCKY START **

**PART ONE – If The Week Started On Tuesday, Would Mondays Still Be Bad? **

**MONDAY, APRIL 17, 2006 **

**PARKING LOT**

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

I take advantage of the warm, sunny morning in Southern California and drive to work with the top down on my Corvette.

I pull into the parking lot and begin to look for a space to park.

I'm now that much closer to reporting for my first day at my new duty station.

Mac and I had a plan for this morning and it led to a smooth beginning. After kissing my wife good morning, I got up and headed out for a two and a half mile run. While I was gone, Mac showered and got dressed before waking Ty and Mattie. Her next task was to start breakfast.

When I came in from my run, I was to knock on Mattie's door to make sure that she was in the process of getting ready for the day. Then I was to stop by Ty's room to be sure that he was up and getting dressed before heading to our room and the shower to get myself ready for work.

Mac suggested that she take Ty and Mattie to Grandpa's. Her suggestion was based on keeping my first day as uncomplicated as possible. Since she's been here just over six months and is the CO, if a complication arises in dropping them off or if a traffic problem occurs, she's in a position to handle it without much impact. I, on the other hand, am reporting for my first day, and the first impression that I make on them may set the tone for my stay here.

Since Mac's schedule is pretty well set, she's also going to pick them up. I'm in charge of preparing dinner when I get home.

The sense of family is growing every day. At the dinner table last night, Mac and I spoke with Ty again about going to Grandpa's this morning so that we can go to work, and Mattie volunteered to go to Grandpa's with him. Her plan is to take her computer and her camera, and be in the background in case he needs her. She surmises that, if Ty gets through the first day, he'll be fine the rest of the week and, since she works tomorrow, she's available to go with him today.

As I get out of my car, I hope that Mac has had the same uneventful ride into work that I've had. An easy commute is the first step to a good day.

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

**SAN DIEGO**

I enter the building, but I don't make it very far before I'm approached by the director's secretary who ushers me into his office. It would seem that Director Landon has requested that I see him immediately upon my arrival.

I thought that I'd have a chance to meet my staff before I met with anyone else today, but the way that I'd hoped the day would go has been altered by this impromptu, one-on-one meeting.

Inside the director's office, I learn more about Mac's bad day on Friday, get my first assignment and realize that my plan to ease into my new duty assignment has been blown out of the water.

My assignment is to investigate to see if one of my staff is responsible for the errors made in the two cases that Mac had talked about probably having to be thrown out because of mistakes. Each case has a different agent of record, but Major Lafferty was the advising JAG on both, and someone needs to be held accountable.

After Landon turns over a memo that outlines his concerns and serves as an informal request for me to investigate, he says that Agent Michaels will have the case files for me at the meeting. The director isn't happy with my department at the moment, and I understand why. I want to know if one of my people dropped the ball as much as Landon does.

Once Landon is sure that I understand his irritation with my department and what my assignment is regarding the correction of that situation, he moves on to my responsibilities during the morning meeting. I'm on hand to counsel in areas of potential legal pitfalls as team leaders give reports on the progress of ongoing cases.

With my assignment and what's required of me having been explained, Landon informs me that it's time for the morning meeting and directs me to follow him to the conference room.

**A FEW MINUTES LATER... **

I enter the conference room on the heels of Director Landon. There are four chairs along each side of the table and a chair at the head of the table, opposite the door that we've just entered. With all but the chair at the head of the table and one other empty seat, it isn't difficult for me to know which one is mine.

As I look around the room at the strange faces and take my seat between O'Malley and a guy I don't know, I experience another new feeling.

Landon starts talking. "People...people..." He stops, waiting for the chatter between those in attendance to subside.

When Director Landon sits, he'll have Agent Michaels to his right and Agent Sinclair on his left. Agent O'Malley is next to Michaels and I'm next to him. The rest of the people in the room are unknown to me.

Watching Landon take his seat, I suddenly realize what the feeling is that I felt a few seconds ago. It's the feeling of not being at the head of the table, of not being in charge. I've been focused on reuniting with Mac and Mattie and our quest to get Ty, and I hadn't given any thought to whether I'd miss my command. Now that I've come face-to-face with not having the command chair, I feel a sense of loss. I miss it, and a lot more than I'd ever expected that I would.

Once the room is quiet, Landon speaks again. "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Captain Rabb and, beginning today, he's the new head of our legal department. I've arranged for him to have a tour of the facility after our meeting, where I'm sure that he'll have a chance to meet all of you, so let's get down to business. I have something to report before we assume our regular reporting order. I was informed on Friday afternoon that the Lyons and Samuels cases may not be prosecutable."

As I'm listening to Landon, I've let my eyes roam over the other faces around the table. There are nine people in the room, two of them are women.

Landon is still speaking, "...Bringing a good case and losing the conviction is one thing, but not even getting it out of the gate is unacceptable. I want to make it perfectly clear that I'd rather have a solid, prosecutable case than a quick arrest. I've spoken to several people this morning, asking them to look into the events in these two particular cases." Landon moves his line of vision to Agent Michaels. "Vic, I know that this is going to be a hit for your team, but I want the two agents of record on a desk while these cases are being reviewed. That's all I have. Vic, you're up."

I can see it, so I know that Michaels, who's sitting directly across from Sinclair, can see the smirk that appears on Sinclair's face at the announcement of the desk duty of two of his agents.

Agent Michaels reviews his current caseload and the status of each case as Sinclair sits looking pompous, taking great pride in the misfortune of two of team one's members. At one point during his report, he must make eye contact with Sinclair, because his voice becomes strained for a few moments before it returns to normal again. I get the feeling that the 'tension' that Landon mentioned between the two men is going to hit an all time high. I'll bet that Sinclair is sensing another shot at being the leader of team one. I hadn't realized that I'd become totally focused on my thoughts of the friction between Michaels and Sinclair until the speaking voice changes. The new speaker is Agent Sinclair.

As Sinclair speaks, his eyes move around the room, but we makes eye contact several times. I don't think that he remembers me, yet I must look familiar, and that's why his eyes keep coming back to mine. He's trying to place where we've met.

During Sinclair's report, he says that he just received the tox screen results this morning, but is still waiting on an autopsy report. The fact that he feels that he's the only competent one in the room is obvious from his tone. From his comment, I find out that the man across from me is from the coroner's office when he addresses Sinclair about the autopsy report.

"I completed the autopsy last night, so you should have the report by lunch," the nameless man from the coroner's office says curtly.

A smug look of superiority crosses Sinclair's face as he picks up where he left off and finishes his report, and we're able to move on to the next speaker.

Agent O'Malley is up next. His team maybe larger, but he doesn't take any more time than the others to present his summary of current cases, and soon we're on to the next speaker.

"No one ever comes to my department when they tour, so, Captain Rabb, my name is Maria Reyes. I'm head of team four or, as we're more commonly known, the computer crimes unit." She looks at Landon like she's offering her silent apologies for not going along with the plan of no introductions, but the eye contact between the two is quick. "Our current case is trying to determine if anyone was responsible for the leak of veteran's information onto the web or if it was some kind of glitch that caused the material to be transferred to a non-secure site. We've had the case three days, so we've been unable to draw any conclusions from the data that we've looked at thus far." Reyes nods to the man directly across the table from her, and next to me to let him know that she's finished speaking.

The man next to me hasn't said more than a couple of sentences before my eyes wander back to the woman sitting next to Sinclair, who was staring at me when I first sat down. I'm not looking at her because I'm attracted to her, yet I've found myself looking in her direction several times. I still don't know who she is, but there's something about her that bothers me. I'm not aware of what the guy next to me says or even that he's stopped speaking until I hear the director's voice, which pulls me out of my thoughts.

"If there's nothing else..." Landon says.

The woman whom I've been watching speaks. "Sir, I have something about which to inform the group."

"Then, Jane, please go ahead."

Her voice is soft but loud enough that we can hear her. "We're currently a little backed up, but we've been given permission to use a little overtime. We hope you'll understand that, in order to clear the backlog within the next ten days as planned, we need agents to stay out of the lab. I'll bring up any reports that are ready before lunch and just before five. Any reports that are finished after five, I'll bring into the morning meetings to give the team leaders. Whatever cases are waiting on a report from my department at end of the day on Thursday, please present me with a list at Friday's meeting, and I'll look into it."

I've been trying to figure out what is it about her that bothers me. I would've pegged her as shy, but she seems comfortable speaking in front of this group, at least. I think her name suits her, Jane as in plain Jane. She isn't wearing any makeup. Her hair is parted down the middle and her blonde locks hang straight down the sides of her face to her shoulders. When she turns her head, and we make eye contact again, I notice that her eyes are blue, which sends my thoughts off into a different direction. I wonder what Ty is doing with his grandpa right now.

"Thank you, Jane. If there's nothing else..." Landon waits for someone to say something, but no one says anything. "Then we've all got work to do, so let's get to it."

The ones who have the benefit of sitting closest to the door waste no time in getting out of the room. I could've been out right behind them, but O'Malley introduces himself. After O'Malley, Michaels does the same. After they've shaken my hand and told me to call them Vern and Vic respectively, they leave. They manage to get out of the room before me, which leaves Sinclair and me alone in the room.

Sinclair extends his arm across the table to shake my hand as the others have, but I can't bring myself to shake it. "My friends call me Rich," he says. "Did I hear you tell Vern and Michaels that they could call you Harm?"

My intense gaze must finally penetrate his thick skull, and his extended arm returns to his side. My thought as I stare at him is, 'He doesn't remember our recent meeting.'

"I'm usually very good with names and faces. When I saw you, I thought that we must have met, but the name doesn't sound familiar. Maybe I just saw you at the JAG conference and we didn't actually meet," Sinclair says.

"You did see me at the JAG conference, and I'm surprised that you don't remember our meeting." I turn to leave the room. My first instinct is to let him think it over, let it fester until he almost goes crazy trying to figure out when we met, but I can't walk out of the room. I've got to say it. "Of course...you're right. The name Rabb wouldn't sound familiar to you. You were pretty distracted by Colonel MacKenzie when she introduced us." I see a look of lust come into his eyes at the mention of her name, and it's once again hard for me not to just punch him, but I keep my wits and continue. "Perhaps the name that I gave you will help you remember. I told you then that you could call me Captain Yahoo."

I can see the dawn of understanding register in his eyes, and the drop and rise of his Adam's apple as he swallows hard when it sinks in, yet his facial expression doesn't change.

"To keep this from becoming any more awkward than it all ready is, I suggest that you call me Captain Rabb, Sinclair, because I can assure you that, after hitting on my wife, you and I will never be friends."

I leave the room without giving him the opportunity to respond. I don't know if I got as much satisfaction from that exchange as I would've from hitting him, but I am feeling better, and the good news is that my hand doesn't hurt from punching him.

I haven't made it far from the conference room when the director's secretary has tracked me down again. She introduces me to Petty Officer Second Class, Joann Burns, my yeoman, and says that she'll be giving me my tour.

Once the secretary has left us, Petty Officer Burns says, "Sir, we'll go by the legal department first. The staff is waiting to meet you. It will also give you the opportunity to put your briefcase and cover in your office before finishing the tour."

"That would be wonderful, Petty Officer. Lead the way."

As I follow the young woman to my department, I let out a sigh. I've been on the job for about an hour and I've already clashed with one member of NCIS. I've also got a funny feeling about another one and I have to investigate one of the lawyers in my department…my tour here has sure gotten off to a rocky start.

**MY OFFICE **

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

**SAN DIEGO**

After my tour of the facility, I return to my office and finally have a chance to sit in my chair. I'd like to take time to take a look around the office or simply sit and enjoy the quiet of the room and the comfort of my chair, but I've got work to do. I suppose that I needed to know where the different departments were located, but I didn't find the tour useful in getting started on my assignment.

Between the meeting and the tour, the morning is shot. I don't think that Landon will be dropping by today to ask about my progress, but I'm sure that, if he should ask in the meeting tomorrow, an acceptable answer wouldn't be 'I haven't started on it yet.'

The first step in my assignment is to read over the memo that I received this morning to make sure that I understand why Major Lafferty's conduct has been called into question. Once I've read the complaint, I ponder the best course to take to investigate the matter. Should I read the files of the cases in question or speak to the major first? I decide that I'll speak to the major first...but after lunch.

I think that going to get something to eat gives me a good reason for getting some fresh air and taking a break from the office. I ask my staff for suggestions of where to grab a bite and head out. Once in the car, I think about going to Mac's office, but, if traffic is bad, it might take too long. I do call to check to see how Ty is doing before leaving the parking lot, but there's no answer at the house, which doesn't worry me. It just means that they're doing something outdoors, though it does cause me to make a note to get Frank's cell phone number.

I manage to find the nearby deli that was suggested and get something to eat. I sit at one of the tables outside, mulling over the questions that I have for Major Lafferty. I have a change of plan. When I return to the office, I want to read the case files before speaking to the major.

I return from lunch and begin my reading and note taking. I start with the Lyons case. Petty Officer Lyons is charged with the attempted murder of a fellow shipmate.

My new office isn't nearly as big or as nice as my office in London, or Naples, for that matter, so I take the opportunity to look around to give my eyes a break between files.

Ensign Samuels is charged with rape, so I'm glad that I started with the Lyons' case.

Having read the complaints and case reports, it's time for me to talk with Major Lafferty.

My next step is to speak with the agents in charge of the cases and any other person who I think can supply information in the pursuit of what went wrong in these two cases. My assessment is that the Samuels case can be wrapped up more quickly, so my mission for the rest of today is to question people who I think can help me do that. I hope to have the case put to rest, at least in my mind by the end of the day, leaving only the paperwork for in the morning...and the Lyons' case.

I leave for home at the end of the day, knowing that I'm ready with a verbal report for Landon if he inquires about my findings at the morning meeting.

**MACKENZIE/RABB RESIDENCE **

**SAN DIEGO**

I get to the condo to find that I'm the first one home. I call Mac's cell phone to see if she's on her way. She says that she's just pulled into the drive at Mom's and she'll be on her way home after running in to get Ty and Mattie.

After we hang up, I change into more comfortable clothing before going to the kitchen to start dinner.

It's been a long and stressful day, so a quick dinner is in order. I survey the items on hand and decide on pasta, a salad and garlic bread.

The tensions of my day begin to fade away the second I hear my name echo through the condo when Ty enters the house. "Harm, Harm, we're here!"

I pop out of the kitchen and I'm the recipient of a big hug from the newest member of the Rabb family. "Mac said that she missed me. Did you miss me, too?"

"Sure did!" I reply, matching his enthusiasm.

Mac suggests that everyone get washed up for dinner. I get a quick peck on the lips as Mac passes by me. She's going up to change out of her uniform before dinner and make sure that Ty washes up before eating.

By the time they're back downstairs, dinner's ready and the family gathers. Mattie seems a little down. The fact that she's mentioned having to call Paul to confirm that they're returning to their pre-Easter routine of him picking her up and taking her to work on Tuesdays and Thursdays clues me in on why she's down. She hasn't seen Paul since last Monday, a whole week. They've talked on the phone and by computer every day, but I know first hand that it isn't the same as seeing someone. She misses him.

With dinner eaten, Ty begins to give us his report of what he and Grandpa did today. Once Mattie has helped the rest of us clear the dinner dishes, she excuses herself to call Paul, which leaves Mac and me to listen to the rest of Ty's detailed account of his day's events.

Ty has filled us in on everything through lunch, including what he ate, when the doorbell rings. I get up to answer the door and, when I open it, I find a short, thin, Hispanic woman standing on our doorstep. "Hello, I'm Mrs. Morales with the State Department of Childrens' Services. I'm here to check on the health and well-being of Tyler Patterson. Are you Mr. Rabb?"

I invite her in, and we make introductions. After Ty hears who Mrs. Morales is, he shrinks back against the sofa cushion and into Mac's side, who's sitting next to him.

Mrs. Morales is in the right profession. She has the instincts for it because she immediately takes action to ease Ty's concerns. First, she crouches down to be at his level. "Tyler, I'm not here to take you away. I'm here because the judge in Virginia who let you come to live with the Rabbs has asked me to check on you. I'm here today because you weren't feeling well in court last week, and he wants me to see if you're feeling better."

Ty sits up straighter, but he's still sitting very close to Mac. His eyes follow Mrs. Morales as she takes the seat that I offer the forty-something woman. Ty is studying her intently. I believe that he's assessing whether or not he can trust her. After a few moments, he speaks, "Here, everyone except Grandma calls me Ty, and I like it better."

"Then why don't I call you Ty, and you can call me Rosa?"

"Okay, Miss Rosa."

"I know that it can be kind of scary to talk to an adult who you don't know, but I need to ask some questions. We'll start with questions for all of you, but later, I'll need to ask you some questions without them around so that I can give my report to the judge, okay?"

"Okay," Ty says, and then the questioning begins.

Has he been eating? What did he eat for lunch? What did we have for dinner? Has he been sleeping? Does he feel better? Who takes care of him while you're working? Do his grandparents live very far away?

I need to find out if I can learn that time thing that Mac does because I'd really like to know how long we've been answering questions. I know that to have the adoption finalized, this is necessary, but a complete stranger dropping in to ask questions about how we live is a little nerve-racking and doesn't make the day that I've had any better. My internal rant is discontinued when I hear 'Rabb' uttered by Mrs. Morales.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, I have just a few more things that I want to ask before I speak to Ty in private. According to the home inspection that was done not long after the petition for adoption was filed, this is a three bedroom, two bathroom condo."

"That's correct," Mac replies.

"Ty, who sleeps in the three bedrooms?" Mrs. Morales asks, keeping Ty engaged in the conversation.

"Harm and Mac sleep in the big bedroom, Mattie sleeps in one, and I sleep in the other."

"Mattie's another child, a seventeen-year-old girl, so Ty has a big sister?"

I got the feeling that Mrs. Morales was just thinking out loud, but Ty has something to say. "Yeah, and she's pretty cool for being a girl."

"She is. Why is she cool?" Mrs. Morales asks.

"Because she likes cars and planes and flying like me and Harm."

"She does sound cool."

Ty's been participating in the discussion and answering questions directed at him, but as the interview starts to wind down and Mrs. Morales gets to the subject of his room, that's when she sees the Ty who we see.

"According to the inspector's report, there was no furniture in the third bedroom. He does have a bed, doesn't he?"

Ty jumps to his feet. "I have a bed and a desk, a dresser and a chair, and a little table next to my bed, and lights and cool posters that Mattie made. My room is upstairs. You want me to show you?"

"That would be nice, thank you," Mrs. Morales replies with a smile.

Ty takes off for the stairs.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take the tour," Mrs. Morales says to excuse herself.

Ty has stopped halfway up the stairs and is waiting impatiently for Miss Rosa to catch up with him so that he can show off his room.

We pace downstairs while we wonder how the talk is going upstairs. As we pace, Mac keeps me updated on the elapsed time. "It's been three minutes and forty seconds. That's enough time to get upstairs." She moves to scribble something down on a piece of paper and then she resumes pacing. "It's been five minutes and three seconds. Do you think that his room is okay?" Maybe I don't want her gift of being a human watch. "Twelve minutes and sixteen seconds, do you think..." She stops because she sees them on the landing, preparing to descend.

Mrs. Morales comes back to the chair that she previously occupied, and Mac presents her with the note that she wrote: the address and contact phone numbers for Mom and Frank. Mrs. Morales thanks her for the information. She opens the file folder in her hand and slips the note under the paperclip on the left side of the folder before folding the left side under. She writes a few things in the file and closes it. After she puts the file into her briefcase, she addresses us.

"Ty is eating, looks rested and seems to be in good health. I'll want to visit Ty at his grandparents' home later this week to check on him in that environment as well, but I don't see a need for counseling for him or the family at this time. I'll send my report to the Virginia court with the results of my visit before the end of the week." She looks at Ty. "It's been a pleasure to meet you and your family. I'll see you later this week, and you can introduce me to your grandpa, okay?" Ty nods affirmatively. "You and I need to get to know each other better so I'll know if I should tell the judge that he should make your living here permanent. Do you have any questions, Ty?"

"No, ma'am. It was nice to meet you, too, Miss Rosa."

Mrs. Morales looks at us. "He's quite a special little boy, isn't he?"

Mac's eyes are moist when she replies, "He's very special to us."

I walk Mrs. Morales to the door and tell her that we'll inform my parents to expect her sometime this week. We say our goodbyes, and I close the door.

I don't know what happened upstairs, but I think that her visit went well. She didn't order counseling, and that's a good sign.

Mrs. Morales' visit has taken up the activity time that we normally have after dinner, so it's time for Ty to get ready for bed.

Once he's had his bath and he's in his pajamas, Mac and I each read him a short bedtime story from the book that the 'Easter bunny' brought him yesterday. After stories, its hugs and sweet dream wishes before we turn out the lights and head to our own room.

Behind the closed door of our bedroom, Mac asks how I think that Mrs. Morales visit went. I tell her that I think that everything went well. She agrees. She adds that, though she felt some tension just by her being here, she thought that, for the first visit, it actually went smoothly.

Mac's next question makes me flinch. "How was your first day?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That bad?" Mac asks.

"You know how Monday's have a reputation for being bad days because you're going to work after the weekend and you don't really want to be at work in the first place? I can't tell you how many times today I wondered...if the week started on Tuesday, would Mondays still be bad?" Mac's looking at me like I've lost my mind. "By the end of the day, I decided that Monday wouldn't be bad, but Tuesday would, so it doesn't really matter what the name of the day is that you start back to work. The first day of the week is just going to be bad."

"Interesting observation...are you sure that there isn't something that you want to talk about?"

"I'm sure," I say as I climb into bed.

Once we're both in bed for the night and Mac is snuggling into 'her' place against me, I realize that, with all that went wrong today, so much more is right. When our lips come together for a good night kiss, there's something that happens between us.

In the gentle touching of our lips, she manages to transfer her loving warmth to me, and it immediately begins to seep into my being and recharge me.

"I love you," I say to her.

"I love you. ... Are you sure that you don't want to talk?"

"I just had a bad day. I don't need to talk..." I say as I bring my lips to hers and hover above them. "...but I do need to make sure that you know that I'm really happy to be here with you," I whisper before placing my lips on hers again. My focus as I deepen our kiss is to please the woman in my arms.


	81. Chapter 81

**PART TWO – Two Worlds**

**TUESDAY, APRIL 18, 2006 **

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

I get up and head out for my morning run. Unlike yesterday, I leave Mac to sleep until either her internal clock or the alarm wakes her. It'll be five weeks tomorrow that I injured my knee, so I keep my run to two and a half miles.

I return from the run and go to the kitchen to start some coffee before heading upstairs. Upstairs, I stop by Mattie's room to find that she got up when her alarm went off. She says that she'll have time to shower and get ready for work after we leave, but she'll be down for breakfast. I suspect that her delay is so that no one sees her going through her clothing to pick out the right outfit and timing exactly how long it takes her to get ready for her reunion with Paul when he comes to pick her up later this morning.

Our morning family time flies by too quickly, and soon I'm being told to have a good day and I'm getting a hug from Ty and a kiss from Mac as I depart for work.

Mac's office is closer to the condo, so even with her dropping off Ty, she can leave a few minutes later than I need to. So, for the next couple of weeks when Ty doesn't have school, this will be our routine.

**MY OFFICE**

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

I've just returned to my office after the morning meeting. I wasn't asked about the status of my investigation into the Lyons and Samuels cases this morning. I would have volunteered some information, but I'm not satisfied with what I have to report. I started on the Samuels case yesterday because, at first glance, I thought it would be the easiest to wrap up, but after a few interviews, I have to wonder why I was even given this case. I must be missing something, so I'll finish up on the Lyons case this morning and work on the Samuels case afterward.

Cases that involve crimes against women and children are the hardest for me not to get emotionally involved in, so having to let a rapist go free is more difficult for me than letting an attempted murderer go. 'You aren't fooling anyone, Rabb. You aren't very good at letting any of them go' is the thought that races through my head.

I sit at my desk with my second cup of coffee and pull out the two case files and my notes. I flip open the first file and then take a sip of my coffee.

Based on what I read and the questions I asked yesterday afternoon, I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to wrap up the Lyons case today. I want to read the case over one more time and reconcile it with my notes before I fill out a report for Landon.

When I've finally had a chance to give the Lyons case a full review, my report reads: Major Lafferty informed the investigating agent that the evidence they had was enough to get a search warrant. However, the information on the search warrant was supplied by the agent, not Major Lafferty. Petty Officer Lyons' defense counsel successfully argued that the search warrant wasn't valid because it didn't contain correct information. The car involved in the hit and run didn't belong to Lyons. It belonged to his girlfriend. So, all the forensic evidence, which proved that the car had indeed hit the victim, was thrown out, and there was no longer enough proof to bring Lyons to trial.

In my final remarks, I noted that it was the agent's responsibility to make sure of his facts before asking for a search warrant. Therefore, Lafferty hadn't been negligent in any way.

I close the file. Unless the victim wakes up and can positively identify the person who was driving when the car hit him, this case is going nowhere.

I look at the clock. Only half of the morning is gone. I wonder what my wife plans to do for lunch. A quick call lets me know that I'm in luck. She has no plans, so I have a lunch date.

**STOLI'S DELI**

On the phone, I told Mac about the deli that I'd eaten lunch at yesterday, and she knew the place, so we planned to meet here for lunch. As expected, I arrive before she does because this place is closer to my office than hers. So that there's no time wasted, she told me what to order for her while I waited for her to arrive because she'd be here as soon as she could.

I receive our order and make my way outside to a table. It won't be quite the same as lunching outside JAG headquarters, but it should bring back a few fond memories.

I sit at a table where I can see the parking lot clearly and, a few moments later, I see the sedan pull into the space next to my 'Vette. My heart stops its 'I'm in love' fluttering when I see Petty Officer Coates exit the car and approach.

Petty Officer Coates stops behind the chair that Mac should be filling. "Sir, I tried to call your office, but you'd already gone. I tried your cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. When I slipped the colonel a note that said that I hadn't been able to reach you, she sent me here to pick up her lunch from you and tell you that she can't make it."

"I've been stood up?" I ask teasingly.

"In a way, sir. General Cresswell has her on the phone. When Colonel MacKenzie put him on hold to tell me to cancel lunch for her, she said that it was going to be a long call, but I don't know what it's about. I'm sure, sir, that she'd rather be having lunch with you," she explains with a smile.

"Have you eaten, Jennifer?" I ask, changing the subject.

"No, sir," Jen replies shyly.

"Then why don't we go in and get them to make these orders to go?" I move my hand in a circular motion over the food on the table. "If I'm not having company, I'll eat at my desk and see if I can get some work done...and you should order yourself some lunch on me for your trouble." I stand, gather the food off the table and head inside with Jennifer.

Jane, from the lab, had passed behind Jennifer just moments after Jen had arrived, but she'd heard none of their conversation. She'd wanted to pass them quickly and get inside to wait for her lunch date.

From her position at a table away from the door, Jane had watched Harm and Jennifer as they'd conversed.

Once Harm and Jen were back inside the deli, Jennifer placed her order, and Harm asked the man to make his previous order to go and asked that one of the lunches be put in a bag with Jennifer's. The deli server did as he was asked and, when Jennifer's sandwich was ready, he put hers and Mac's food in a bag and presented the bag to Jennifer. He then handed Harm a bag with his order in it to go as well.

Unable to hear, but able to see the two from her table, Jane was certainly curious as to why the captain was in the company of a petty officer. She, herself, had admired Harm from the moment that she'd seen him walk into the conference room yesterday morning, so she was sure that she knew what the petty officer's interest was in the captain.

Jane watched as the two people on whom she'd had her eyes glued moved towards the door. The place was quite a bit busier than it had been when she'd arrived, so she was no longer afraid of being seen. It looked like they were leaving before her date arrived, for which she was thankful.

Harm and Jennifer exited the deli and walked towards the cars parked side by side, not knowing that, from the patio near where Harm had been sitting earlier, Jane's date had arrived and seen the captain walking next to a Navy female in the parking lot. The sight of Harm, of all people, at one of his favorite eateries brought his blood to a boil.

He approached Jane, who was sitting at their usual Tuesday afternoon table. "Hi, Beautiful." He bent down to kiss her gently on the top of her head, but his eyes were fixed out the window at the tall captain getting into his vintage car and the Navy woman getting into another car. "I saw Captain Rabb crossing the parking lot with a bag from here in his hand. Did you two exchange pleasantries before I arrived?"

"No, of course not, Rich. I know that you don't want our relationship out in the open because we work together."

Rich reached for her hand. "I didn't mean to imply that you'd blow our cover, baby." He placed a kiss on the back of her hand and then sat down. "I just don't want him around my girl, that's all. I don't trust him. I know who his wife is, and the Navy gal who he was walking with isn't her. So how can I trust a man like that around you?"

"You're so good to me, Rich. I love you."

"Let's order some lunch, shall we?"

Over the course of lunch, Rich asked a question here and there about what Jane had seen transpire between the captain and the Navy gal. He was hoping to gain enough information to rid his world of the newest JAG officer.

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

When I return to my office, I take a few moments to eat and then turn my attention to the Samuels case. I review the case again and make a few more notes. I don't know why this case ended up in my hands, but since they gave it to me, I'm going to do a little investigating. I leave word with my yeoman about where I'm headed in case I'm needed, and I'm off in search of answers, hoping that I'll remember how to get to the different places where I want to go.

I start my investigation with the crime scene unit. They seem helpful and answer my questions without hesitation, which is always a good sign that people are telling the truth. Lies take time to remember or make up. The truth is right there, waiting to be told.

My next stop is the crime lab. I seek out the individual tech who processed the blood and tissue samples for a match to the accused, but when I reach him, suddenly, Jane is present. As his supervisor, she says that she wants to be present while I question him. Her shy demeanor is gone, and she looks like a mother protecting her young. Her behavior seems odd, but I don't really know any of these people. Perhaps she's just trying to protect a valued member of her staff. In her announcement at the meeting yesterday, she'd said that the lab was behind. Another possibility is that she simply wants to speed this along so that he can get back to work.

Perplexed by Jane's reaction to my presence in the lab and my questions, I find my way to Agent O'Malley's office to see if he's in. I figure that he's been around long enough that he can tell me if Jane's behavior was odd - like she was trying to hide something or not.

Agent O'Malley is in his office and his door is open, but I can see the back of a man's head in the chair facing his desk, so he's meeting with someone. I'm about to walk away when I hear: "Captain Rabb, what brings you to my part of the woods without me havin' to call your office at least twice and beggin' your yeoman for an audience with ya?"

"I wanted to ask you a couple of questions about something, but it can wait. If you come to my office or call my office when you're free, I'll come back."

"No reason to waste your trip, lad. This is one of my agents. What he needs will keep while I answer a few of your questions." Even without knowing his name, the trace of an accent and some of his words or phrases would give away his Irish heritage.

Vern introduces me to the young agent before telling the young man, "Why don't you go check on what I've told you so far, my boy, and when you return, the captain and I should be done. He said that he had only a few questions."

Once the young man has left the room, Vern addresses me. "These questions that you want to be askin' me are about what?"

"Not what but who," I reply cryptically.

"Who you say? You've got my attention, my boy. Who do you have in your sights?"

"That's kind of what I need to know. Should she be in my sights or, because I'm not familiar with her normal behavior, are my senses sending me an alert for no reason?"

"She, is it? Out with it. Who is she and what do you want to ask me?"

"Jane, the woman from the lab...I need you to tell me about her."

"I thought you were married, my boy."

"I am, and that isn't what I mean." I spend the next couple of minutes talking to Vern about my recent visit to the lab and my reason for it. I then explain to him what I felt was Jane's odd behavior.

Vern's response is, "It doesn't sound like the Jane I know, but I can't say that any of us know her well. She's kind of a loner, doesn't say much most of the time. Come to think of it, I think yesterday's meetin' is the most I've ever heard her say." Vern pauses and raises an eyebrow at me. "Now that you're askin', there has been a change in Jane. She's a little more confident, I guess you'd say. I hadn't paid it any mind until now. Maybe it has somethin' to do with the boyfriend that I've heard she has." An odd expression quickly emerges on his face. "If the rumor of who she's been seein' is true, my boy, you're jumpin' right into the fire."

"Then who's the boyfriend rumored to be?" I'm expecting him to say Director Landon, but that isn't the name.

"Agent Sinclair."

"Why do you think that I'd be jumping into the fire?" I ask.

"You want to talk about change in a person. Since he got passed over for promotion to leader of team one, he's been usin' a take no prisoners approach. You could walk in here tomorrow and tell me that he'd killed his own mother, and I wouldn't be shocked by it."

"Do you think that he'd ask Jane to sabotage one of team one's cases in order to make Michaels and his team look bad to try to get another shot at becoming the leader of team one?"

"The Rich that started here ten years ago, no, but the Rich that I've seen these last few months, I wouldn't put it past him." Vern pauses a moment before continuing, "Captain, be careful. I get the sense that he likes you only a fraction more than he likes Michaels. If you pursue what may be just a case of an overworked staff tryin' to get caught up and makin' a big mistake and go after Jane or the lab, and he's behind it, the fallout may be more than you want to deal with." He smiles. "It is only your second day here after all."

"Thanks for the information and the advice." I stand to make my exit, but something pops into my head. "I understand that the last JAG was hard to reach and rubber stamped as much as he could get away with, but I don't operate like that."

Vern nods his head and winks, wearing a wide grin as I turn to leave.

I return to my office to make notes and ponder if I want to pursue this any farther. It really isn't my place. I can simply turn in my report, stating that no legal mistakes were made in this case and be done with it. If I want to push it, I can include a statement that says that the practices or procedures of the lab should be reviewed. To avoid conflict by pointing a finger, I could make the suggestion to include both the lab and the crime scene unit.

I'm back in the office not more than fifteen minutes when Director Landon's secretary calls to inform me that, immediately following the morning meeting on Friday, I'll be sworn in as a Federal prosecutor, another part of my duties in this position.

I look at my watch and decide that I'll make a decision about what I'm going to do with the Samuels matter tomorrow, because today, I'm leaving at 1600 sharp.

I give Mac a call to tell her that I'm leaving the office in a few minutes so I can pick up Ty this afternoon. She says that she's leaving on time today, too, because there's laundry that has to be done. That was the perk that beat out another condo when Mac was looking. In this condo complex, each unit has a stacked washer and dryer. Mac doesn't have to haul clothes to the laundry room downstairs in the apartment building or have them washed by a laundry service. She says that she knows that it may sound silly to me, but doing domestic duties like laundry confirms the fact that she has a home and a family.

Since her office is closer than mine to Mom's house, there's a change in plans. She'll be able to pick up Ty and start the first load of laundry before I can get there, so I agree to meet her at home.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

When I get home, I look over the remaining groceries to see what I'm cooking for dinner. I'd bought groceries to last us a few days after we got back from Virginia. However, they'd lasted a little longer than planned because my mother had fed us on Saturday and Sunday after our return. I might be able to get one more night out of what I'd bought, but we're definitely due to go grocery shopping and, since I do most of the cooking, it seems only fair that I do the shopping.

It seems that doing laundry is boring to Ty, so he wants to go grocery shopping with me. Needing room for groceries for four, Ty and myself means that we need to use the sedan, so, after switching keys with Mac and armed with a list, we're off to shop.

During the ride to the store, all Ty talks about is baseball. He loves the game and so does Grandpa. I learn for the first time that Frank was a high school baseball star when Ty tells me about looking at Grandpa's baseball pictures today.

While the two Rabb boys were grocery shopping and the woman of the house was doing her family's laundry with great enjoyment, in another part of the city, Jane was meeting with her boyfriend again.

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

**OCEAN BEACH, CA **

Rich Sinclair knocked and looked smug when Jane opened her apartment door to him. She'd obviously been crying, and she threw her arms around his neck and tried to bury her tear stained face into his chest.

Sinclair grasped her shoulders and pushed her back, forcing her to pull her arms from around his neck. "What's so important that you've summoned me here with tear-filled pleas? I'm working on something. I don't have time for you to have an emotional episode right now."

"He came to question one of my staff today. What happened with the samples from the Samuels case was an unfortunate accident. I know that a guilty man may get away with his crime because of it and he may commit another rape, but it was a mistake. I think he's suspicious of me."

"Who's suspicious?" Sinclair asked curtly.

"Captain Rabb...I knew as soon as I saw him on Monday morning that he wasn't going to be as easy to get around as the last JAG. The last JAG wouldn't have left his office for his people and wouldn't have asked even one question about anything."

The corners of Rich's mouth began to turn up with all the earmarks of becoming a smile as he embraced Jane. "It's okay, baby. I can tell you how to deflect the heat from you and onto Rabb. Why don't we sit on the couch, and I'll sit with you for a few minutes until you calm down? Then I'll tell you what to do about the captain."

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO **

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER...**

Ty and I arrive with groceries that should last us for a week or so.

Mattie's home from work, and I find that my groceries will last one extra day. Mac and Mattie have ordered pizza for tonight's dinner. They didn't want me to have to work all day, shop and then cook, too.

It will be three weeks tomorrow since I arrived here, and I've cooked every night that we've been here except for our one date night and dinners at Mom's. I think that they were just in the mood for pizza.

Mac and I are putting away the groceries that I've brought in when the doorbell rings. I look at Mac. "The pizza delivery," she reminds me, having read my look about our unexpected visitor last night.

As I finish putting up the last of the groceries, Mac heads to the door to accept the delivery of our dinner. As I place a box of cereal in the cabinet, I can't believe how wonderful my days start and end at home, which makes the middle of the day, while I'm at work, seem like I get transported to a different world. This world is uncomplicated. My other world is the exact opposite.

I know that Mattie's missed him, but I can't say that I have, so I'm not excited, but I understand when, during our pizza dinner, Mattie asks if it's okay if Paul comes to dinner at Grandma's tomorrow evening. Mattie's quick to point out that she didn't invite him, but Grandma did at the gallery this morning when Paul walked her into work. Mattie wants to make sure that it's okay with us before Paul actually comes. Mattie looks relieved when we say that, if Grandma's okay with feeding one more, then we have no objection. Ty has a question though, "Who's Paul?"

After the pizza is gone and the boyfriend explanation has been made to Ty's satisfaction, it's time for our regular after dinner routine.

**JANE'S APARTMENT **

While the Rabb family enjoyed a family dinner, across town at Jane's apartment, the good looking, six-foot two, sandy blonde haired, buff man in his mid-thirties, Richard Sinclair, has been using his good looks and his charms to try to convince Jane that she needs to tell Director Landon of the new JAG officer's relationship with an enlisted Navy woman. It wasn't until Rich said that he'd have to end their relationship if she didn't do it that the good woman, who Jane actually is, thinks that she has no other choice. As Rich prepared to leave Jane's apartment to go, he made one last attempt to push her to go to the director.

"You know how I feel about you, honey, but if Rabb is going to be a hard-ass, then I have to protect both of us by making a clean break from you so that it doesn't look like you've been helping me in any way. You don't want to lose your job, do you?" Sinclair said as if his heart would break if he couldn't be with her anymore.

Until Rich, her job had been all that she'd had and she didn't want to lose it. A part of her knew that she could never keep a man like Rich. He was everything that a smart but plain, attractive but not beautiful woman wanted, a prince charming. Those Cinderella stories only worked out in fairy tales, but when Rich kissed her goodnight, she wondered if she couldn't live the fairy tale just a little bit longer if she did as Rich suggested.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO **

We've tucked Ty into bed and all seems well until Mac excuses herself to change in the bathroom. This is the first time that's happened since I've been here.

I strip down, wondering when something went wrong in my uncomplicated world. I can't imagine what she could be upset about. It's after about fifty internally asked and answered questions that I've let roam through my mind that another possibility dawns on me.

I've been here three weeks tomorrow. Perhaps changing in the bathroom is her way of telling me that we've reached _that_ time of the month. It would also explain the low stock in the chocolate drawer. I wouldn't have noticed it, but a 'bag of anything chocolate' was on the grocery list, so I peeked in the drawer and took the last two fun-sized Snickers bars. Since the addition to the grocery list was in Mattie's handwriting, I assumed that she was the one, but when Mac emerges from the bathroom in her red satiny pajamas and a strange look on her face, I'm sure that it's both of them.

I watch Mac crawl into bed and try to get comfortable for a couple of minutes before it dawns on me that there's no reason for me to be just standing here. As she reaches for a book on her bedside table, I slip into bed next to her. She opens the book and waits a few moments for me to get comfortable before she speaks.

"I take it from the way you were staring at me that you've figured out that the honeymoon is off for a few days."

"Was I staring?" I ask.

"Yes, you were."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I was puzzled at first. You've changed in front of me since I got here, which led to me to be concerned that you were upset about something or had had a bad day, but you seemed fine earlier, so I was confused."

"So you partly figured it out," she says.

"Partly?" I ask.

She closes the book on her lap. "There is something else. I know that the news won't bother Mattie, but I needed to tell you so that we can talk about the best way to tell Ty that I'll be gone for a few days on business."

"When and where? Or is that classified?" I don't mean to sound snide, but I'd just gotten used to being here with her, and I don't want her to go anywhere.

"Harm, don't be like that." She puts the book aside and rolls towards me. "I'll miss you, too." She gives me a little kiss on the cheek. "It won't be for long. I leave on Monday the 24th at 0600 and I'll be back on Wednesday evening, the 26th. They want me in Washington for a mid-year review of the JLS." She kisses my cheek again. "Don't pout." She nips at my ear before whispering, "Just think about how good our reunion sex will be on Wednesday night."

A wide grin spreads across my face at the thought of our reunion sex, but it's short-lived when she asks, "When and how should we tell Ty?"

We discuss when to tell Ty until we've agreed that the sooner the better. We'll tell them both when we get home from Grandma's tomorrow night. That way, Ty will have a little time to let it sink in and ask questions if he needs to before Mac actually has to leave.

Once our discussion about Ty is over, we snuggle into our usual 'going to sleep' position in which I've come to feel so comfortable and at home.

"About earlier...did I sound like a temper tantrum-throwing three-year-old?" I ask.

"A little," she confirms sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I just like things the way they are. I don't want you to go away for even a couple of days. Am I making sense or should I just shut up?"

"Of course, it makes sense, but look at it this way. I'm just taking a few days away for business before you do. When are you due for your flight quals?"

"August...point made. Good night."

"Good night."

As we fall asleep, I think about the two worlds that I split my time between. I know that both make up my life, but even with the little hiccup in this world, it's by far my favorite one to be in.


	82. Chapter 82

**PART THREE – Rough Seas Ahead **

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 2006**

We've begun a morning routine that's made it easy for me to start each day, but work is another matter.

I'm not one to shy away from a fight, so what am I going to do about the Samuels case? The case against Ensign Samuels can still be tried and a conviction might still be obtained based on the victim's testimony. If the physical evidence could be used to corroborate her statement, though, I'm sure that it would seal a guilty verdict.

Vern was right that an overworked staff makes mistakes and, though this was a mistake that could let a rapist go free and perhaps commit the crime again, the mistake wasn't made by anyone in my department. Vern had also been right when he'd suggested that one shouldn't point fingers at people and departments on one's second or third day on the job without evidence that something more than an error was made.

At the morning meeting, I catch Jane staring at me off and on throughout the meeting, but she isn't looking at me like she's interested in me. Come to think of it, I didn't get the impression that she was looking at me with interest on Monday either.

That's what bothered me about her. She was 'watching' me. If not for the memory of her watchful eyes on me on Monday, I'd suspect that I'd struck a nerve in the lab with my questions yesterday, but with the careful way that she's watched me since day one, that isn't the most likely reason. Why is she watching me?

Agent Sinclair begins to give his case status report, and the rumor that Vern passed along to me echoes in my head. I watch Jane. She's looking at Sinclair far too intently to be only listening to his report. As Sinclair speaks, Jane becomes so focused on him that she looks like she's in a trance. Jane is in love with Sinclair.

As the meeting continues, the questions fire rapidly in my brain. Are they in a relationship? Is Jane simply carrying a torch for him much the way I did for Mac all those years? Would Jane jeopardize her job for him by tampering with or destroying evidence? If she tampered with the evidence, did she act alone in hopes of getting him promoted to the position that he wanted so much, thus winning his affection? Had Sinclair told her that tampering with the evidence was a way for her to prove her love for him?

After the meeting, I go to my office to ponder some of my questions. If it was indeed simply a mistake, I don't want to cause a big stir for Jane. Jane will have enough problems when she realizes what kind of man Sinclair really is.

I find myself back in Vern's office around mid-day. Vern is a seasoned agent who knows the people here. His insight into the situation is something that I need in order to make a decision about how to handle my suspicions.

Vern's words ricochet around inside my head the rest of the day. "You see, my boy, I don't think that Jane has the stomach for lyin', but I do think that she could be led astray with a kind word here or a gentle touch there. I don't think that Sinclair would trust her to do the deed for him. He'd be worried that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. If you're right and the evidence was tampered with, I'll bet that he did it himself, perhaps right under her nose as he flirted, or perhaps he asked her out for a drink to distract her, something like that. Unfortunately, the only person you'll catch in your net is Jane and not the actual criminal _if _it happened like that."

I leave Vern's office and return to mine where I call the records department to get any information that I can on Jane and Rich. What I'm looking for, I'm not certain, but I'll know it when I see it because it will help me to make the decision of whether or not to continue with this investigation.

The records won't be in my office until morning, so I leave the office for dinner at Mom's with the weight of the matter still on my shoulders.

When we arrive at Mom's, we find out that we just missed Mrs. Morales, so most of the dinner conversation is about what she asked and how Frank and Mom thought that the visit had gone.

Frank and Mom seem sure that things had gone well, but had been asked a question to which they hadn't known the answer. 'Would Frank be in charge of Ty's after-school care as well, or would Ty be staying with his sister for the few hours between school and our arrival home from work?' Frank voices his willingness to continue to care for Ty in whatever capacity we want, but he knows that we'll want to talk it over before deciding what would be best for Ty.

With the talk of Ty's after-school care and Mrs. Morales' visit, combined with my distraction concerning what I'm going to do about the Samuels matter, Paul probably would've preferred to eat dinner any place else.

Back at the condo after dinner, it's time to tell Ty about Mac's business trip. Ty's upset by the news, and it's tough to pacify his fears.

Mac's very patient with him and explains in simple terms that she has to go to DC for work, that she's going to be gone for only a few days and that she isn't leaving until after we all have the weekend together. Mac also takes him to the kitchen and marks the day that she's leaving and the evening that she'll be coming back on the calendar as a visual reference for him so he can see how long she'll be gone.

Ty wants to go with her, and it's breaking Mac's heart to tell him that he can't go because she'll be working and there'd be no one to stay with him there the way Grandpa does here. It takes most of the usual activity time to convince him that staying here with Grandpa and me is going to be better for him. It doesn't hurt that she promises that we'll go somewhere special the weekend after she gets back and that she'll call him the two nights that she's gone to say good night before he even seems to be accepting the idea.

In our bedroom, I'm tense and, when Mac excuses herself to go change for bed, I strip down to my boxers, pull back the bedcovers and then sit down on its edge. My family life is wonderful, but Ty isn't officially part my family yet, and the knowledge of that combined with my rocky start at work makes me feel like I'm carrying a great weight on my shoulders. My shoulders slump and, suddenly, I'm so drained of energy that I don't know if I have the strength to get into bed.

I've been sitting here lost in thought until Mac's palms make contact with my tense shoulder muscles, bringing me out of my reverie.

"You're so tense," Mac says, but I remain silent, my eyelids closing as her hands start to gently massage my muscles. "Work again?" she asks.

"Still," I reply.

She stops kneading my shoulders and says, "Since I don't think that you can sleep while you're this tense, and I doubt that you want to talk to me about it, I want you to lie face down on the bed."

I turn and give her an odd look, and she explains, "I took a couple of night courses: one in reflexology and one in massage therapy after our little trip on the Watertown. I know that the doctor turned out to be a murderer, but he did get rid of that kink in my neck, so I thought that it might be something interesting to learn about. Let's see if I can get you to relax enough to get some sleep. If at any point you feel like talking though, I'm listening."

I assume the requested position, and Mac straddles me at the waist and begins to work her magic. Her palms firmly press into the muscles at the base of my neck and across my shoulders. The pressure of her hands may be firm, yet the kneading of my skin and muscles is gentle. Her technique is flawless as she moves from my shoulders down between my shoulder blades, the tension already melting away under the warmth of her touch. As her hands work their way down my back, I relax until I unknowingly fall asleep.

**THURSDAY, APRIL 20, 2006**

After the morning meeting, I go to my office and find that the personnel records that I'd requested have arrived, so I start to review them.

There's nothing in either of their records to give me even the slightest hint that Jane, or even Rich, for that matter, would do anything that would end their career or jeopardize a case.

With both their records clean, I feel that I have no choice but to let the Samuels case go. There's no evidence that it was anything other than a mistake, and though I dislike Sinclair, Vern made a good point that Jane would take the hit and not Sinclair if something was done. Not wanting an innocent bystander to get caught in the showdown between Sinclair and me that seems to be inevitable at this point, I write my report. The last line of which is: The loss of corroborating physical evidence in this case involves no legal error, so the possible loss of a conviction in this case is left to the office of the Director of Operations to determine if further investigation is warranted.

I secure the reports and go to lunch to mull over the consequences of turning them in. Upon my return, I hand in my reports on both the Lyons and Samuels cases.

I'm holding a staff meeting in my department this afternoon. I want to address the issues of my more 'hands on' approach versus my predecessors 'no hands anywhere near anything' approach that I've come to understand was the trademark of their last boss.

I'm preparing to leave this day behind when my yeoman informs me that Petty Officer Coates from JLS is on the phone for me.

Harm's yeoman thought that it was odd that the captain would take a call from a petty officer so quickly, but, on the other hand, after their meeting this afternoon, he'd proven himself to be a different kind of leader than she'd previously served under here, so perhaps for him, it wasn't unusual at all.

Jennifer was calling for Mac, who had to stay late and wanted me to pick up Ty on my way home.

While at my parents' home to pick up Ty, Frank asks Ty to go tell Grandma that he's leaving and give her a big hug. I know that means that Frank has something that he wants to say in private.

It turns out that Ty has told Frank about Mac's upcoming business trip, and Frank wants to discuss an idea that he has, but he doesn't want to mention it in front of Ty in case I don't agree to it.

Frank's idea is for him and Ty to lay in supplies like snacks and a board game or two aboard his yacht on Monday afternoon. Mattie and I would meet them at the Yacht club for dinner on Monday evening, and the three guys would sleep aboard the yacht on Monday night. It would be a test run for the Memorial Day cruise.

Frank understands that it might be a pain for me to tote a uniform along and leave from the boat to go to work on Tuesday morning, but with Mac out of town, he didn't know if Ty would be okay with an overnight stay without either one of his new parents along. However, Frank's plan has taken into account the extra time that I'd need to get to work and includes making sure that Ty has breakfast on Tuesday morning and getting him back to the house before I get there to pick him up after work on Tuesday evening. It sounds like a great idea to me, but what about Mattie? It's decided that Mattie can have her choice. She can stay with the guys, and Frank will see that she gets to the gallery for work, or she can stay with Trish at the house and go into work with her on Tuesday morning.

At home, I change and start dinner, and Ty wants to be my helper. While preparing dinner, I speak to Ty about spending a night aboard the yacht before the cruise to see if he can handle being on a boat without getting seasick. Ty is thrilled with the idea and wants to spend tonight there. I explain, "It won't be tonight, Buddy, but we'll check with Mac to see if we can do it very soon."

"Check with me about what?" Mac asks from the doorway. Ty spins around and runs into Mac's open arms where he's showered with attention, and the subject is forgotten for the moment.

Over dinner, we talk about spending the night on the yacht, and by the time dinner is over and it's time to clear the dishes, a guys' night aboard the yacht is on. Mattie opts to stay at the house with her grandmother and let the 'boys' have their fun.

I'm in a much lighter mood with the decision made and my reports turned in on my first assignment.

As I ready myself for bed, I feel that this week has gotten off to a rocky start, but, with this first week coming to an end, smoother roads are just ahead.

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

**OCEAN BEACH, CA**

**LATE NIGHT**

Ring! Ring!

"Hello."

"Jane, it's me. I'm sorry that I haven't had time to see you again this week, but I've been working. Have you talked with Landon yet about Rabb?"

"No, why don't you tell him?"

"I would, but you saw more than I did. I saw them walking across the parking lot. Rabb is a lawyer and I hear a good one, so he'd have no trouble telling Landon that it was a coincidence that they were walking in the same direction, but they weren't together. You saw them talking to each other on the patio. You saw them go into the deli together and place an order that he paid for before they walked out together to separate cars. Rabb won't be able to brush it off so easily. It will take a lot more explaining."

"I don't know, Rich. I know what I saw, but it may not have been what it seemed like."

"You said that she talked to him like she was relaxed around him, not your average posture for an enlisted woman with a male officer...so relaxed that you suspected that they'd known each other for awhile...that they hadn't just met. Look, I'm on a stakeout, so I don't have a lot of time to talk. My partner is getting us some coffee, but you need to talk to Landon. Look, I don't want to scare you, but Rabb requested our personnel files yesterday, and he got them today. We need to move on him, smear his name, put him on the defensive before he has us on the chopping block. If he's in the spotlight for fraternization or adultery, nothing he says will be taken seriously. He'll have no credibility. My partner's coming back. I've got to go." Rich flipped his phone closed before a long-legged blonde climbed into his car with a brown paper bag from the drugstore in her hand.

"Who were you talking to, Richie?" she asked him. "Your girlfriend?"

"You know that you're my girl." He leaned across the seat and planted a firm kiss on the lips of his lady companion. "I was talking to someone at work. It looks like the project that I've been working on will go to the boss tomorrow for review."

"I got a pack of the ones that glow in the dark," she said, swishing the little brown bag from side to side. "Should we go to my place to celebrate the success of your project or do you think that it'll bring you bad luck to celebrate before the boss sees it?"

"I think that a celebration is just what I need." He started the car and pulled away from the curb, heading to her place for a night of hot sex.

**FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 2006**

I wake with a more positive outlook on my new duty station. I might have a few weeks left where I'll be sailing through choppy seas as everyone adjusts to having a JAG in place who holds his ground and does his job, unlike the last guy, even if I believe only half of what I've been told about him. Compared to the hurricane induced swells that I've been navigating, a few weeks of rough seas will be easy to ride out until the storm passes.

At the close of the morning meeting, Director Landon asks Sinclair, Michaels and O'Malley to accompany us back to his office to witness my swearing in as a Federal prosecutor.

Once I'm sworn in, we're all dismissed, and I head to my office.

O'Malley and Michaels also headed to their offices to get to work in hopes of not having to put in any hours over the weekend, but Sinclair headed to the lab to see Jane.

**CRIME LAB**

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

Richard Sinclair walked in and headed towards Jane, who was at a microscope towards the back of the room. Rich approached the table where she was working and made sure that the volume of his voice was loud enough for those working close by to hear, but not so loud that people would think that he was acting.

"Jane, I'm sorry to bother you. I know that you asked agents not to come down here until you were caught up, but I forgot to give you the list of cases that I'm waiting on lab results for during the meeting this morning." He extended his hand with a piece of paper in it, and Jane took the paper from him.

Jane then opened her portfolio to slide his paper in with the others that she'd received during the morning meeting. "I hope to be able to tell everyone at Monday's meeting when they can expect the results on the cases that they've listed, so thank you for making the trip down here to give me your list."

"No problem, I would've been down sooner, but I just got away from the ceremony for Captain Rabb's swearing in as a Federal prosecutor. Well, it really wasn't long enough to be called a ceremony, I don't think. They're getting him settled in pretty fast. Well, I need to let you get back to work. Sorry again that I had to barge in on you while you're working. I'll see you Monday morning. Bye."

"Bye, Rich." She loved it when he played shy. What she didn't love was having to try to read between the lines of what he'd said. For instance, did saying 'I'll see you Monday morning' mean that he wasn't coming over on Saturday as he usually did or was he just keeping their cover? For as unsure as she was about whether she still had a date on Saturday night or not, she was just as sure that his reference to Captain Rabb getting settled in quickly was another push for her to talk to Landon.

**DIRECTOR LANDON'S OFFICE**

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

**AFTER LUNCH **

Jane was sitting in a chair in the director's outer office, hoping that no one would see her.

She wished that Landon's secretary had let her see him before lunch, but she'd said that he was in a meeting and wouldn't be free until after lunch, so she'd taken this appointment time.

If he didn't call for her soon, she was going to lose her nerve.

The buzz of the secretary's intercom broke through Jane's thoughts in time for her to hear the secretary say, "Miss Sampson, Director Landon will see you now. Go on in."

Director Landon rose in a gentlemanly fashion and offered Jane a seat in front of his desk with a gesture of his hand. As Jane began to sit down, Landon dropped back into his chair, curious as to why Jane was here. In the years that he'd been the director here, he couldn't think of more than a couple of meetings that he'd had with Jane in this office. In the meetings prior to now, he'd called her to his office to discuss procedures or how to deal with the backlog. This was the first time that Jane had asked to speak to him.

"Is everything in the lab okay, Jane? Do you need a few more days of overtime to finish the backlog?" Landon asked.

"Yes, sir. No, sir. I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous."

"Take a breath and relax, Jane, and tell me what brings you to my office this afternoon."

"Everything in the lab is fine, sir. Though the approval of a few more days of overtime would be nice, I don't think that we'll need it. The plan that we discussed seems to be working well." She paused. "I don't know if I should even be here, sir."

"Jane, unless you tell me what's on your mind, I won't be able to determine that either."

Jane took in another breath and thought about Rich. She was doing this so that she and Rich could be together. "I'm very uncomfortable with the subject matter, but I feel that I should say something. I saw something on Tuesday afternoon that's been bothering me. It may be nothing, but I've been thinking it over and I think that someone should at least be aware of it."

"Does what you saw involve someone in this office?"

"Yes, sir, the new JAG, Captain Rabb."

"Then, tell me, Jane. What did you see?"

Jane filled in the director on what she'd seen and where. The director listened and asked questions where he thought necessary in order to get a clear picture of what Jane had seen. Landon acted like he had all the time in the world to let her tell her story.

Finally at his limit of patience for today, Landon wanted to wrap up this conversation with Jane. This was the second person to be in his office today, spouting accusations. The other one had occurred just before lunch, and his lunch wasn't sitting well with him because of it.

Before Jane left his office, he needed to make sure that she wouldn't recant her statement. Landon didn't want to waste manpower looking into gossip.

"Jane, this is a very serious charge for a military officer, especially one who's achieved the rank of captain, and it will require an investigation. You do understand that, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

Landon reached for his phone and buzzed the most trusted and loyal agent whom he had in his arsenal. This had the potential to get ugly and out of hand quickly, and he wanted as few people in the loop as possible. General Cresswell had spoken well of the captain and his wife, the CO at JLS, before the couple had arrived to lunch with them the last day of the JAG conference two weeks ago. Landon hadn't known the captain long, but he was usually a pretty good judge of character himself and, coupled with the praises of General Cresswell, Landon couldn't believe that the captain was the kind of man to commit adultery, and with an enlisted woman to boot. If he was wrong about Rabb, maybe he and O'Malley should both retire at the end of the year.

The phone on Vernon O'Malley's desk rang with the distinct ring of an internal call. "O'Malley, here."

"Vern, I need for you to come to my office now, but quietly. I've got someone who I want you to talk to here in my office, and then we'll talk."

After Vern had joined them and she'd repeated her tale to him, Jane left Landon's office and returned to the lab.

Once Jane was out of his office, Vern and Landon had a drink from the bottle of scotch that Landon kept in his desk drawer and talked about his two visitors who were filled with more gossip than fact, but about something that had to be investigated.

Having talked and enjoyed a shot of the twelve year old scotch, they parted ways after a few final words from Landon.

"Vern, I need to know if these are facts that we have or just a bunch of jealous children, trying to get someone in trouble, and I need to know before I get the big shots involved. Investigate this as discreetly and swiftly as possible, and let me know the moment you're sure one way or the other."

Vern returned to his office with a task that he didn't want, but he knew that he was the best man for the job, so he'd do his duty.

As with any investigation that Vern had ever done, he studied the possible scenarios and wrote questions that he felt would lead him to the answers for each one.

Vern was a methodical man who knew where he wanted to start and in what order he wanted to proceed, but it took him the rest of the afternoon to finish. He admitted as he left his office for the weekend that he'd intentionally taken the rest of the day to prepare. He didn't know Rabb very well, but he just couldn't believe that Rabb was capable of any of the things that had been suggested about him. Besides, if Rabb was guilty, he'd still be guilty on Monday.


	83. Chapter 83

**PART FOUR – And I Love You**

**MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**PRE DAWN**

I don't know for how long she's been up, but while I've been sleeping, Mac has slipped from our bed. I turn to look at the clock. There's still time for me to get up and kiss her one more time before the duty driver arrives to take her from here to the air terminal at North Island for her flight to Andrews.

I get up, slip on my robe and notice the bag that she'd packed for herself sitting in the chair. That means that she'd planned to come back into our room to say goodbye.

We talked about it last night. She planned to leave the keys to the sedan and a note on Mattie's bedside table. That's probably what she's doing now. I step out into the hall to let her know that I'm awake to see her off.

Mac isn't at Mattie's door. She's at Ty's. She's dressed and standing in the doorway. I'll go let her know that I'm up. I take one stride towards that end of the hall, but, as I do, she walks into his room. I get to the doorway in time to see her sit down on the edge of his bed, much the way she does when we tuck him in at night.

The light on at the other end of the hall dimly illuminates his room, so I can't make out tiny details, but I see her hand move to the side of his head. From watching her on those first few nights when she'd check to make sure that he was still sleeping, I don't have to see her do it to know that she's running her fingers through his blonde locks while he's asleep. She said that she did it to help him sleep better because he'd know that she was there and that he was safe and loved without waking him. It must take a mother's touch since, the one time when I tried it, I think it startled him, because he woke up. However, once he was aware that it was only me, he easily went back to sleep. She didn't give birth to this little boy, but she seems to know what he needs. The 'how' of which is one of the many things that fascinates me about her. It must be her natural maternal instinct, I guess.

I wonder if somehow she knows that he needs to see her this morning, even though she said her goodbyes to him last night, or if it's her own need to see him smile and hear his voice one more time before she leaves that causes her touch to be just enough heavier this morning that she awakens him.

Her voice is soft as she speaks to him. "I didn't mean to wake you, but since you are, can I get one more hug before I have to go?" The quiver in her voice perhaps isn't evident to the sleepy young boy, but I can hear it. She doesn't want to go.

Ty sits up. "I don't want you to go," he tearfully replies before his arms wrap around her neck.

"I don't _want _to go either, but I have to. Sometimes, as part of our jobs, Harm and I have to go away to do our work. You'll have fun sleeping on Grandpa's boat tonight with him and Harm, and you'll be able to tell me all about it when I get home in a couple of days. I have to leave in a few minutes, but remember, I'll call at bedtime to say good night and wish you sweet dreams, okay?"

Ty nods, and she begins the ritual that follows his bedtime stories. She pulls up his covers and pats them lightly, kisses him on the forehead and says, "We love you."

"I love you."

"And I love you," she says, trying to make it easier on him by pretending that she's just tucking him in, but I know that means that she'll be stopping by for her bag that's in our bedroom in a minute, so I'll wait for her in there.

In our room, I stand next to the chair where her bag is sitting so that we can say our goodbyes to each other.

She enters our room, and I ask, "Didn't think that you were going to get away without a goodbye, did you?"

"You're going to tell me goodbye and not good luck?"

"My wife is good. She doesn't need luck." In the couple of lines that we've uttered to each other, we've closed the gap between us, and she's within my grasp now. I reach for her, and she willing takes the last step into my arms. "I don't plan on saying much…" My lips cover hers, and a light touching of our lips takes place.

I force myself to pull my lips from hers, ending the sweetest of kisses. As I pull away, her head follows until she's putting her lips to mine. The kiss that she begins is needy, and it quickly moves to a tongue tangling kiss of passion.

I don't know if it's Mac's sense of duty or her blasted internal clock, but one or both of them cause her to pull away.

"It's time," she says. I nod and reach for her bag. "No, stay here and make sure that Ty doesn't come down. I don't know if I could leave if either one of you makes it downstairs before I go." She takes her bag from me. "I love you," she says as she raises her hand to my face and begins to use the pad of her thumb to wipe away the smudge of her lipstick from just under my lower lip.

I reach for her hand that's touching my face, take it in mine and place a soft kiss on her palm. "And I love you."

It's hard for us to let go, but Mac's driver should be here, so she pulls her hand from mine and turns to leave the room.

Mac left the room and wanted to look back to take in the sight of Harm one more time, but she resisted. Another look and she might not get out the door. She scolded herself as she descended the stairs, 'You're leaving for only three days and two nights. You're acting like your deploying for at least six months. Pull yourself together, Marine. You've got a job to do, and the sooner you get it done, the sooner you can get back home.'

**LATER IN THE MORNING**

I go back to bed to try to catch a few more hours of sleep, but I can't.

After trying in vane for about thirty minutes, I give up and go to check on Ty.

Ty is lying down, but awake when I enter his room. I can see the pain of the separation already present in my son's eyes as I sit down on the edge of his bed in the spot where Mac usually sits.

Ty and Mac have managed to bond in the short time that we've known him, and that bond allows her to know exactly what to say to him to make him feel better, but I find that I have to search for words to comfort him.

"I know. I miss her, too," I finally say. When Ty sits up, I embrace our upset little boy.

**STUCK IN TRAFFIC EN ROUTE TO WORK **

After dropping Ty off to stay with Frank, I get stuck in traffic on the way to work - one more stressor in my day.

I wasn't expecting to have a great day when, before the sun was even up, I'd had to say goodbye to Mac, but I was hoping not to have a terrible day either. I know that her trip is business and it isn't even a long trip, only three days and two nights, but it's two nights apart for us, the recently reunited newlyweds.

I'm sure that, if I'd been able to go back to sleep or had taken a run, I'd be dealing with this traffic mess much better. I didn't take a run because I thought that Ty needed me more. He looked so lonely already.

Of course, my attempts to comfort him only upset_ me _more. In Mac's absence and with our son needing comforting, I realized how unprepared I am for the job as his dad. I know that Ty doesn't hate me, but we haven't bonded like he and Mac have, so I need to find a way to get closer to my son.

The only one happy this morning was Mattie. It wasn't that she was happy that Mac was gone, but rather that Mac had left a note on her desk with the keys to the sedan.

Mattie came down for breakfast as if she'd won the lottery, waving the note and keys as she entered the kitchen.

"Mac left me the keys to the car. Her note says that I can use the car while she's gone as long as I tell you or Grandpa where I'm going and that it has to be here Wednesday evening so that you can use it to go pick her up at the airport." Mattie pauses before asking, "She had a driver this morning, so why are you picking her up?"

"For one thing, she didn't want to have to get Frank up so early to drop off Ty. She also didn't want me to have to double back or get caught taking Ty to Grandpa's after we dropped her off at North Island either, so a driver for this morning was the best solution. On Wednesday evening, she's coming in to the San Diego airport, not the North Island air terminal, and she'll be eager to see all of us, so we're picking her up."

The car in front of me is starting to move instead of just creeping forward. I hope this means that traffic is starting to move again. A few minutes later, but less than a mile, I pass two damaged cars that are on the shoulder of the road with police officers present – the traffic accident that caused this traffic nightmare, I suppose.

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

As Jane headed back to the lab after the morning meeting, Monica, a long-legged blonde from the records department stopped her.

"Jane Sampson, right?"

"Yes." Jane couldn't remember a time when someone had spoken to her in the hall. What did this twenty-something woman want?

"I thought so. We met at the office Christmas party. I guess you don't remember. I'm Monica from records. I saw you and I thought that I'd ask how you're doing."

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I didn't handle the request, but I work in records like I said, so I know that your record and Agent Sinclair's were requested by the new JAG...and I saw you waiting to see Landon on Friday. Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Not that I'm aware, but I guess you'd have to ask Captain Rabb since he wanted to see my record. If you ask him and find out anything, let me know what he thinks I've done. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the lab. I've got work to do."

**VERN'S OFFICE**

Vern sat at his desk. He'd sat next to one of the two targets of his investigations at the morning meeting and across from the other one. Vern couldn't recall a time when an assignment had pulled him in two directions like this one.

He was dragging his feet at getting started on either case because he didn't want to conduct either investigation, but for different reasons.

He was resistant to investigate the rumor about Rabb because he felt that it was a waste of his time. Vern simply didn't get that kind of vibe from Rabb, and he'd be willing to bet his retirement that he wasn't guilty of anything. Almost as positive as he was about Rabb's innocence, he was sure that Sinclair had put Jane up to reporting what she'd seen. He didn't believe that Jane would lie, so he felt that she'd seen what she said she had, but repeating the story to Landon screamed smoke screen to him. Vern's gut told him that there was a perfectly logical explanation for what Jane had seen that wasn't against the UCMJ.

When Vern arrived at his office after the meeting, he'd given serious thought to going the direct approach with Rabb, just walk into his office and ask him man-to-man to explain himself.

The problem with that idea was in the off-chance that he was wrong and that Rabb was guilty. Rabb could deny the accusations and then, aware of being investigated, he'd simply stop until things blew over or, given his rank, he could influence potential witnesses and give the petty officer involved a story to tell that would cover up his guilt. Unfortunately, the direct approach would only leave both Vern and the director with doubts about his innocence.

Agent Sinclair was a different matter. The ramifications of finding that Rich was guilty of one or all of the alleged acts affected far more than only his career. If Vern found something, all of team two would look bad, NCIS would look bad, and every investigation that Sinclair had been involved in during the last ten years would be subject to scrutiny.

Vern's personal feeling in the case of Sinclair was that he had personality flaws, but that he had been and still was a good agent. Landon had said as much himself on Friday afternoon when he'd dropped this assignment in his lap.

Landon had said that Rich hadn't been past over for leader of team one because of his skills as an agent, but rather as a leader. Landon showed Vern one interviewer's opinion of Sinclair when he was being looked at as Vern's replacement as leader of team one: He's arrogant and egotistical, qualities that may assist him as an agent, but aren't useful as a leader. A team needs to be led by someone who's interested in making everyone look good, not just himself, and though it is my understanding that if he isn't selected as leader of team one, he'll be appointed as the leader of team two, I question that putting him in any position of leadership is in the best interest of this agency.

The other reason for Vern's reluctance to investigate Sinclair was the women - women like Jane who saw Sinclair as some kind of knight in shining armor who could save them from a loveless life.

Jane was a lovely young woman who probably thought that she was the only woman in Sinclair's life, but Vern suspected that she wasn't the only one, and he hated that Jane would get hurt. There were undoubtedly other honest, decent women like Jane who'd get caught up in this, too.

It was mid-morning when Vern finally reached for his list and looked at item number one, read service/personnel and arrest records for any red flags.

The Rabb investigation should be easy to keep quiet, Vern thought, since Landon still had Rabb's service record that he'd asked General Cresswell for when he'd found out who his new JAG was going to be. Landon had wanted to see if Rabb was the kind of guy he could count on. He'd been worried that he was going to get another 'slacker' like the last one.

It was time to get to work, Vern decided as he flipped Rabb's file open.

Landon also had a recent copy of Sinclair's personnel file. It was a few months old, the one that had been used to research his eligibility for leader of team one, and he'd come up with a clever way to easily obtain Sinclair's arrest records without making anyone suspicious. It was one of the advantages of leading a team of new agents. He could give them assignments that he could call training exercises without anyone being the wiser.

Vern called in the two members of his team who were showing the most promise. He instructed one of them to get the case reports for team one and the other agent was to get team two's reports, going back to January first for each team. They were to review them and submit summaries and any questions about each case, and then they were to switch reports, review the other team and do the same thing.

"I know that it will probably take the records department the rest of the day to pull them for you, even if you help, but I want separate and independent reports from each of you by the end of the week," he told them.

By lunchtime, Vern had reviewed both Rabb's service record and Sinclair's personnel file. The only thing that piqued Vern's curiosity in either was the six month gap in Rabb's record. Rabb had resigned his commission, and then he'd been reinstated by the Secretary of the Navy with a recommendation by the then Judge Advocate General. What had Rabb been doing for those six months? Had he resigned to have a relationship with a young petty officer, perhaps? Finding where Rabb had been was a task for Vern himself.

Vern had made friends and contacts over his years here, and it was time to go pay one or two of them a visit. He could have requested the information through NCIS channels, but that left room for a leak, and Landon wanted this handled quietly, and he'd made it very clear that he didn't want to call in internal investigators or the Judge Advocate General without more than finger pointing as evidence. If Vern found even a shred of evidence that might suggest that something was going on in either case, Landon would call the appropriate people.

Before leaving, Vern told his secretary that he was going to lunch before checking on a few of his agents out in the field, and he'd be out of the office for the rest of the day.

**BURNETT YACHT**

**SAN DIEGO YACHT CLUB MARINA**

With a car at her disposal, Mattie had opted out of dinner at the yacht club as well as the sleepover on the boat for the opportunity to go to the mall to meet some friends. I'd agreed to excuse her from dinner, providing that she was at Mom's by nine.

Ty hadn't eaten much breakfast, and Frank let it slip that Ty hadn't eaten his lunch when he was coaxing him to eat his dinner.

I did finally get Ty to eat some of his meal by telling him that he wouldn't have the strength to go wherever Mac had planned to go this weekend if he got sick again because he wasn't eating.

After we boarded the yacht, Ty didn't want to do anything. When I asked him if he wanted to play cards, checkers or watch a movie, I got no response from him, and Frank said that he's been despondent like this all day.

As Ty's bedtime approaches, I take Ty below to make sure that he's in his pajamas and ready for bed when Mac calls. My hope is that Mac's call will allow him to get a good night's sleep.

Ty's lack of interest in playing and eating are reminders of what we went through in the days before we were given custody of him. I'm worried that, by the time Mac gets back, our family will have taken more steps backwards than forwards.

Ty perks up at the sound of Mac's voice on the phone, but as soon as the call ends, he returns to his previous slump.

I've got Ty tucked into his bunk for the night, but it's too early for me to go to bed. Besides, I'm not looking forward to sleeping alone tonight, so I opt to go topside, have a cold beer and try to relax, even though Frank invited me to watch a baseball game with him.

I sit on the deck and find the quiet to be relaxing, but the slight breeze coming off the water has the heavy smell of salt water, and the only way that I could feel more at home without Mac is to have the aroma of jet fuel complimenting the smell of the ocean.

As I down the last of my beer, my thoughts turn back to Ty. I'm worried about him. I'd have sought advice from Mac during her call, but Ty was sitting next to me during my turn with her on the phone. I don't want to admit to Mac that I don't know what to do to make Ty feel better. However, I would've asked her advice to help our son, but I couldn't ask her in front of the boy.

In bed, after Harm had tucked him in, Ty lay there on Grandpa's boat, wishing that Mac were there. He knew that Harm liked him, but not like Mac. He knew that Mac loved him and he missed her. Harm was trying to make him feel better, but he didn't seem to know what to do, and it made Ty wonder if Harm really wanted him.

I go below, ready to give sleep a try myself. I brought along pajamas, but it's only guys aboard, so I decide that, in case of an emergency, I should wear the bottoms, but I leave the top in my bag.

After I change, I check over my uniform.

Unsure that this overnight visit to the yacht was a good idea without Mac, I decide to check on Ty before I get into bed.

I'm not surprised when Ty is all tucked into bed the way I left him, but he's still wide awake. I sit down on the edge of his bunk, much the way Mac sits on his bed at home.

"How're you doing, Buddy?" I ask.

"Okay. I miss Mac. I wish she were here."

"I wish that, too."

That did it. It confirmed to Ty that he was right. Harm didn't really want him.

"Do you know why I wish that?" I ask. I'm not sure why I asked that question. It just sort of came out.

Ty shakes his head in a negative response.

"I want Mac here because I don't like to see you unhappy, and you're happy when Mac's around."

"I like it when Mac and I do stuff together."

"I like doing stuff with you, too. So what should we do tomorrow when I pick you up from Grandpa's?"

"I don't know," Ty says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, you think about it. Maybe you can get some ideas from Grandpa tomorrow. Actually, you know what? I just thought of something that we can do, and do you know what the best part is?"

"What?"

"Not only will we be doing something together, but it'll be for Mac. We'll go shopping at the mall for a present to give Mac for Mother's Day in a few weeks."

"Can I give her something for Mother's Day when she isn't my momma yet?" Ty asks inquisitively.

"You're right that she isn't legally your mom and I'm not your dad until the adoption becomes final, but legally is different from wanting us to be your parents. So, if you want to give her something, you can." I'm nodding my head, wondering if I should ask the next question. "You do want her to be your mom and me to be your dad, right?"

Ty is nodding affirmatively to the idea that that's what he wants, but inside his head, he wonders where this is going.

"We love you and we want to be your mom and dad, so if you want her to be your mom, I think that we should pick out something that lets her know that. Make sense?"

"Yeah, we're going to get her an 'I hope you get to be my mom' present," he says, a little happier than he was when I came in.

The boat's been rocking as we've spoken, and it makes those all-too-familiar noises to me, but I don't think that Ty's sleeplessness is all about Mac.

The creaks, crackles and movement aboard a boat can cause a novice seaman many a sleepless night before he becomes accustomed to the sounds and motion.

Thinking about how different it is to sleep on a boat, something that I'm sure that Ty has never done before tonight, in addition to Mac's absence, I get an idea that might help Ty get through the night more easily.

"You know, Ty, sleeping aboard a boat is different than sleeping at home or even in a hotel. Since Mac isn't here, why don't you come to my room and bunk with me tonight? If you get used to all the sounds and motion of the boat while we're together, then Mac will think that you're a real pro when we take that cruise that Grandpa's promised to take us on. Sound good?"

I really didn't have to hear the answer. His face lit up the moment I mentioned coming to my cabin.

When we get into my room, I tell him that I have to leave early in the morning, so he needs to sleep on the inside. Grandpa will wake him in the morning and take him to get breakfast.

Ty's in bed, and I'm about to get in the bunk too, but I remember that I brought something with me from the condo for him that I'd forgotten about until now.

I move to my bag. "I almost forgot. When I stopped at the condo to grab my bag and change clothes before coming to dinner, I picked up something for you that Mac didn't pack. I thought that it might help you miss Mac less."

I pull the item out of my bag and turn, moving back towards the bunk and Ty.

"They've been on your dresser since you moved in with us, but I thought that having Marine bear on duty tonight might make you feel better and maybe miss Mac a little less." I place the bear at his side, and Ty wraps his arms around it.

I make sure that his covers are pulled up and I pat them. "We love you," I say.

"I love you," he says, finally feeling that Harm wants him, too.

"And I love you."


	84. Chapter 84

**PART FIVE – Planning Mother's Day **

**TUESDAY, APRIL 25, 2006 **

I've taken my briefcase and cover to my office and I'm heading to the morning meeting. I'm feeling better today.

My commute in from the marina was a piece of cake, especially given yesterday's nightmare drive into work.

As I make my way down the hall that will lead me to the conference room for the meeting, I think of yesterday morning.

It isn't fair for me to blame yesterday entirely on the morning traffic. I wasn't in the best frame of mind before I got behind the wheel of my car. I'd had to say goodbye to Mac because she was going away on business and I'd discovered that I didn't understand the role of a dad as much as I'd thought I did.

As much as I miss her, it's good that Mac was called away. It forced me to make some more progress in the area of personal growth.

I'd been led astray by having Mattie. Mattie had needed someone to be there for her, to look out for her, to support and love her when I took guardianship of her. At the time, I thought that's what being a dad was, but with Ty, I've learned that being a dad requires much more than what Mattie needed from me when she was nearly fifteen, was on her own and running a business.

I knew that I wanted to be a dad before Mac and I got married, even if I couldn't be a father, but there's a difference between wanting to be one and being one. Being on my own last night with Ty was a learning experience for me as a dad. I learned a lot last night, the most important of which is that being a dad is something that you may be able to get some pointers on from reading a book, but you can't learn how to do it from that. It's something that you learn how to do while you're doing it.

I'm at the door to the conference room with a couple of minutes to spare. It's going to be a better day today.

**THE MORNING MEETING**

This morning's meeting was full of announcements. Director Landon began with the Lyons and Samuels cases.

In the matter of the Lyons case, Director Landon informed Michaels that he and the agent of record on the case should report to his office ASAP so that the agent could be informed of how his sloppy investigative work has impacted his future.

In the matter of the Samuels case, Director Landon announced his decision for all to hear.

"No one who was asked to look into the matter has found any evidence of this being more than a mistake, an error of great cost to the case, but a mistake nonetheless. In light of that, I don't think that we need to waste manpower on an investigation. Let's move forward and use this as a lesson learned. If the lab gets behind again, I don't want agents going in and pressing Jane's people for results. For my part, when you start telling me that you're waiting on lab reports, I'll be more proactive in getting Jane's department overtime approval. In an effort to keep the need for that down, I've hired two new lab people for the department. With that said, are there any questions about the new procedure before we move on to new business?"

A tight knot formed in the center of Jane's stomach as Landon's words fell on her ears. She may have ruined a man's marriage and career for nothing. Captain Rabb hadn't been after them. He'd been doing his job and looking at a situation from all angles.

When Landon stopped speaking, no one had questions, so the team leaders began to update the group on the current status of their cases in the regular reporting order.

When O'Malley reached the end of his report, he had news that seemed a little unusual.

"That's all I have for a status report, but I'd like to make the leaders of teams one and two aware that I've given two of my most promising agents an assignment to review their case reports and arrest records."

Director Landon was the first one to pose a question to Vern. "What's the purpose of this exercise of yours, Vern?"

Vern was glad that the director had called his actions into question. It aided in his cover that he was only doing his job and not investigating a thing.

"I realize that I've had the trainees for only a short period of time and that my way may be different than their last supervisor's, but it's my experience that, what an agent can track on paper, they can track in the field."

That answer seemed to pacify the director, but Vern next had to field a question from Michaels. "Why take cases from teams one and two?"

"Real life cases are better than anything that I could create, and teams one and two get the more complex ones. It also gives me the advantage of having the agents who originally worked the cases accessible so that they can ask them questions if needed."

It was Sinclair's turn to raise a question. "Are you having them look over recent cases?"

"Recent past, from January 1st up until a week ago this past Friday. I would have had them review the cases completed up until yesterday when I gave the assignment, but I wanted to make sure that all the reports had had time to be filed."

The thought in Sinclair's conceited mind was that his team had been put into the mix as a means of camouflaging a search into the files of team one, given the recent problems in team one...the Lyons and Samuels cases mentioned at the beginning of the meeting coming to mind first.

Agent Michaels also thought that his team was the real reason for the assignment that Vern had given his agents. However, the opposite was true. Vern had wanted to conceal his snooping into team two's cases. Vern, using two young agents with good instincts, gave him time to look into other things, but with both teams under review, no one would suspect exactly what was going on, and Vern's agents would be safe from anyone's wrath.

With no more questions about Vern's project, the meeting continued until Landon ended it in his usual way. "If there's nothing else..."

**STOLI'S DELI**

**LUNCHTIME  
**

Jane sat at their usual table, waiting for Rich to arrive. She was eager to see him. He'd come by for a few minutes on Saturday, but hadn't spent the night the way that he usually did. He'd said that he had to get back to work.

Jane looked at her watch for the fifteenth time in as many minutes. Her lunch hour was more than half over, and there was no sign of him. Her mind wandered back to his visit this past Saturday.

He'd been distant and distracted, claiming that it was the case that he was working on that was making him jumpy. He hadn't held her, but he'd praised her for doing the right thing by telling Landon about Rabb. Rich had said that Rabb's wife was going to be happy to be rid of him when his real character was exposed to everyone.

Jane remembered the next part of the conversation word for word.

*********FLASHBACK*********

"I don't think that a woman is ever happy to hear that the man she loves has been unfaithful to her, especially if he's vowed to be with only her in a wedding ceremony," she said.

"She's a strong woman. She'll be better off without him," he said.

"You know her, Rich?"

"I don't know her, but I've met her. I told you about that Saturday that I had to work when I went after that guy in Mexico. It was on the news, remember? She's the CO at JLS and a Marine. She's got to be tough. It comes with the uniform."

*********END FLASHBACK*********

Jane looked at her watch again. She'd give him five more minutes, but that was it. Any more, and she'd be late back to the lab.

He'd given her a kiss that had penetrated her soul to the core before he'd left on Saturday night, promising that, when he wrapped up the case that he was working on, he'd come over, and they'd celebrate his victory together.

She knew that he was working on a big drug case from his status reports every morning, but it was Tuesday, and this was their standard lunch date. He must know, especially after the meeting this morning, how much she needed him now. He knew her better than anyone else ever had. He had to know that she was feeling guilty about going to Landon and reporting what she'd seen concerning Captain Rabb. She'd gone to Landon to protect him - them - and this morning, she'd found out that there'd been no reason to worry.

Rich could make her feel better by simply taking her hand in his...or with a gentle kiss to her lips when he walked her to her car after lunch. Jane didn't need much, but she needed something at the moment.

Rich didn't show. He didn't even call.

Jane had to leave the deli, still craving contact from the love of her life.

**OUTSIDE NCIS **

**SAME TIME **

Apparently, my cell phone doesn't get a signal in the building. That's why Jennifer couldn't reach me last Tuesday and why I need to step outside to check my voice mail at lunchtime.

I realize as I push the buttons to dial my voice mailbox that, in all the chaos of preparing for Mac's trip, even if it was only in my own mind, neither one of us has given anyone my office phone number yet.

I'm relieved to find out that I have no messages.

I head back into my office to give Mom, Mattie and Frank a call to give them my office phone number in case they need to reach me while I'm at work.

While I have Mom on the phone, she asks if I want anything special for dinner tomorrow night. I suggest that I pick up Ty and Mattie and take them out to dinner on the way to the airport to pick up Mac. "I wouldn't want to just eat and run," I tell her.

She didn't seem too disappointed at my request, but she did suggest that I talk to Mac and let her know if we could make it for dinner on Sunday instead.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**JUST AFTER LUNCH **

Petty Officer Burns buzzes my office.

There's a confused tone in her voice. "Captain Rabb, you have a call. When I asked who was calling, he said that he didn't think that you'd take the call if you knew, but your curiosity would get you to pick up to see who it was."

Whoever it is, they're right. I take the call. "Captain Rabb."

"Rabb, it's Webb."

"I don't dance to the company beat anymore, so why are you calling me?"

"Someone out there is asking questions about you. When you're in certain fields within the US government and someone starts to poke around, a red flag is sent up, and we're notified. Late yesterday afternoon, Washington time, an agent from a regional office of the IRS requested a copy of your tax form, including W-2's for employer verification for only one year, the year that includes your time 'dancing' with the company, as you put it."

"For only one year? It isn't a routine audit then, is it?"

"No, I checked. It isn't a routine audit. Since you don't seem to have any idea why such information would be requested, I'll have to send someone to see why such a request was made. I'll get back to you, Rabb," Webb said, and then the line went dead.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**END OF DAY **

Monday, I'd spent my workday trying to push thoughts of Mac leaving and how much I was going to miss her out of my head and focus on work. This morning, I'd been using work as a way to pass the time until I could go out with my children tonight. After my call from Webb this afternoon, I was using work to keep my mind from dwelling too much on who was looking into that year of my life.

When I allowed myself to think about it, I kept coming up with the same answer, and as I get ready to leave the office for the day, the name hasn't changed - Special Agent Richard Sinclair.

Why him? Because he's the only person who makes sense to me. Sinclair is looking to see if he can find any skeletons in my closet, and, if he looked at my service record, he'd want to know why it appears that I resigned from the Navy, fell off the face of the Earth for several months and then reappeared back in the Navy.

However, what doesn't match that guess is the fact that the request came from an agent with the IRS.

It's time for me to head home and have an evening with my children, so I'm not going to think about it anymore tonight.

**THE REST OF THE DAY**

I pick up Ty from Frank. Mattie's there, but she doesn't want to come along. She says that she's working on something and needs time to finish it. When I ask what it is, she says that it has to do with work and that she'll tell me about it later.

After a few minutes of trying to sway Mattie with 'the mall and my credit card,' and she still says that she'd like to stay behind, I give in. I tell her that we're going shopping for a Mother's Day gift for Mac, and she says that she bought something at the mall yesterday when she was there.

Ty and I are about to leave when Mattie's struck with an idea for a gift for Mac and Grandma, but she says that we aren't dressed for it.

When Mattie informs me of what she'd like to do, I think it's a great idea, so we make a plan. I'll leave out a change of clothes in the morning, and she can bring them along with an outfit for Ty and meet me here tomorrow after work. Mattie suggests that I see if they'll give us an appointment for tomorrow while I'm at the mall tonight, so we aren't pushed for time to make it to the airport to pick up Mac.

Ty and I stop on the way to the mall at the golden arches for a fast food dinner. I stick to the salad, but I get to share the chocolate shake with Ty this time.

We talk baseball over dinner, but in the car on the road from the burger place to the mall, we talk about cars.

At the mall, we try do it all. We shop some first until we find the arcade. I drop more money in machines that have no purpose other than to make my son smile than I'd ever have pictured myself doing, and I have fun doing it. I play several games of hoops to win tickets, and Ty and I both play Skeeball to get more tickets. Since we haven't purchased anything for Mac yet, we're forced to pocket the tickets for another day. As we leave the arcade to return to shopping for Mac's gift, we vow to return to claim a grand prize with our 'winnings.'

We look in more shops, but we need energy, and the answer is but an inhale away. The smell of freshly baked cookies is wafting from around the next corner.

We split a jumbo chocolate chip cookie and a drink. With sugar in our blood, we search more stores until we find something that's worthy of a conference to discuss its purchase.

On our way back to the car, I stop at the perfume counter and get a bottle of one of Mac's favorites.

Once back at the condo, Ty's exhausted. Even though he's in his own bed tonight and we've had a great evening, after Mac calls to tell him good night, he wants to sleep with Marine bear.

I read him a story, and then he asks me to read him another one in Mac's place. After the two stories, I follow the bedtime tucking-in-routine that I'd used successfully last night, and he falls asleep quickly.

After I'm sure that Ty's asleep, I ask Mattie to listen for Ty while I go for a run.

I'd upped my run to three and a half miles on Saturday without having my knee or any muscles revolt, but not wanting to tempt the fates, I swam on Sunday as a way to workout. I didn't workout at all on Monday because of Mac's departure. I'd packed light for our overnight on the boat and didn't run this morning, so I feel the need to run this evening to get back to my five mile minimum soon. Staying fit and healthy has always been important to me, but, with a family, it's become important to me for a completely new set of reasons.

I return from my run and check with Mattie to see if there's been any problem while I was gone.

After I leave Mattie's room, I go to check in on Ty to make sure that he's still asleep and covered up before heading to our room to get some sleep for myself.


	85. Chapter 85

**PART SIX – The Rumors Begin**

**WEDNESDAY, APRIL 26, 2006 **

**EARLY MORNING**

I wake up with a smile on my face and dress for a run. I realize that I ran a few hours ago, but with Mac coming home tonight, running this evening is out of the question.

I'll scale it back to two and a half miles this morning. That should keep me from pushing myself too hard, too fast. After all, my wife is coming home tonight, and I'll have to maintain my energy level all day and well into the night.

As I run, I think about what we've accomplished at home while Mac's been away on her trip.

I'm usually a positive thinker, but I hadn't taken that route with Mac's trip. From practically the moment that she'd said that she had to leave, I'd focused on her not being here.

I didn't think of the positive side until late Monday night. The upside of Mac not being here was that I had the opportunity to have Ty all to myself, just a boy and his dad.

Monday morning, I'd thought how well Mac knew what Ty needed, but I think, after her absence, it's safe to say that she knows what each one of us needs.

By leaving the car keys with Mattie, Mac knew that Mattie would exercise her freedom, leaving Ty and me to spend one-on-one time together and thus form a bond between us. For Mattie, she got to feel trusted and gain confidence in our faith in her. Mac's not only a good wife, but a good mother.

I return to the condo after my run, knowing that I'm a lucky man to have Mac as my wife.

I step into the shower, glad for the experience of the last couple of days, but happy that she's coming home.

**MORNING MEETING**

Sinclair is mysteriously missing from the meeting, and Vern has come in late. The universe must be off balance today.

Landon offers an explanation for Sinclair's whereabouts. "Agent Sinclair got a new lead in the drug case that he's been working on. He's hoping that his investigation is nearing an end and that he'll be making an arrest by the end of the week."

Is it because it's Sinclair and I dislike him or is it that I talked to Webb, the spook, yesterday that I'm suspicious of Landon's explanation?

Sinclair's absence adds to my speculation that he's the one who put an IRS agent up to requesting my tax information. Could Sinclair be sitting in a hot seat with one of Webb's three-piece-suit friends with no sense of humor, asking him why he's sticking his nose into my records?

I sure have an overactive imagination this morning.

As I'm trying to return my focus to the speakers in case I'm asked a question, I take notice of Jane. Without Sinclair sitting at her side, she seems lost. She also looks like she hasn't had any sleep in days. I wonder what's going on there. Trouble in paradise, perhaps?

**IN THE LAB**

**MID AFTERNOON **

Jane wasn't feeling well, and the stress of another day without support from Rich was becoming unbearable for her. She'd missed work only one day in the five years that she'd been here. Her staff was almost caught up, thanks to the overtime that Director Landon had approved, so she decided to go home early.

Rumors are something with which every office consisting of more than one person has to contend. A large office or organization like NCIS is no different. After all, the jobs are filled by human beings.

With bigger offices or organizations, rumors take longer to spread through an entire building, but eventually it makes it around, growing as it passes from one person's ears and repeated by that person - adding their own interpretation to the previous person's words. Thus the rumor morphs into something a little different each time until it's been repeated by so many that, what once had a shred of truth is nothing but a creative and often hurtful set of words, with the truth nowhere to be found.

Rumors around an organization the size of the regional office of NCIS are many, but rumors about people's personal lives always seem to travel a bit faster than those about work related items.

Rumors about Jane and Rich had been going around the building for a long time to some degree or other, but when Jane went home sick, one lab tech stated to another, "I've been here quite awhile and I've never seen her go home before. She does look sick though. Actually, the way she looks reminds me of how my sister-in-law looked when she was pregnant." To which the lab person to whom he was speaking responded, "If she is, I guess we should get Agent Sinclair some cigars." Then they both snickered. This brief exchange was overheard by a third party and repeated, and thus the rumor mill began to turn on sweet, plain, naive Jane.

**AROUND THE SAME TIME**

Vern hadn't received word on the tax information that he'd requested, and he hadn't thought that it would take this long. The missing months were just idle curiosity more than it was about the case, so Vern decided to move on to another step in his investigation of Rabb: question his yeoman.

For an officer who'd been in his billet longer, his yeoman could be a vast source of useful information, but with Rabb being here such a short time, it was a long shot. However, he had very few ways to wrap this up quickly if he didn't ask a few questions. So, with determination to uncover the truth, Vern left his office for the legal department.

Vern walked into the JAG office and looked around to see the staff at work. This made things more difficult: How to ask questions of the yeoman without the others thinking that something was amiss.

"Hello, Agent O'Malley. Do you need to see Captain Rabb?" Petty Officer Burns asked.

"I wanted to -" The phone rang, and Vern nodded that she should go ahead and answer the phone.

Vern was so glad that he'd let her take the call when he heard her buzz Captain Rabb about the caller.

"Captain Rabb, you have a call from Petty Officer Coates, sir."

**INSIDE HARM'S OFFICE**

I've got several things on my desk that need to be done before I leave today, and I'm trying to clear them as quickly as possible so that I can at least leave on time and preferably a few minutes early.

The intercom buzzes, and I learn that I've got a call from Petty Officer Coates.

Her call is to confirm that I'm picking up the colonel at the airport. I put her mind at ease when I tell her that she didn't forget to arrange for a driver. I'm picking up Mac.

**OUTSIDE HARM'S OFFICE**

**SAME TIME**

After breaking the connection with Captain Rabb, Petty Officer Burns addressed Vern. "I'm sorry. You were saying?"

"Never mind that. Did my ears deceive me or did a captain just take a call from a petty officer?"

A weasel-eyed lieutenant on Harm's staff was sitting at his desk and, having heard Vern's question, he spoke up. "And not for the first time either."

"Really?" Vern snorted. "How many times? I mean, he's been here only what...nine, ten days tops?" A strategically placed snort in mid-statement can make it sound like you don't want an answer, but human nature always assures that someone will respond.

Vern felt a little bad for leading the threesome into the age-old act of gossiping, but it sounded like the information that he'd come for, and he hadn't actually had to ask. He'd just acted curious, and they'd done the rest.

It was Petty Officer Burns who answered. "As far as I know, she's called three times since he came aboard: once last Tuesday, after he'd left for lunch, once a couple of days later, on Thursday I think it was, and just now. When she calls, she says that she works at the new JLS office."

"I'm sorry. We shouldn't be gossipin' this way. I came down to see if I might get some time tomorrow with the captain to discuss a legal matter."

Petty Officer Burns gave the agent an appointment, and Vern went into the hall.

Overhearing that incoming call firsthand had given him access to a mother lode of information. When Burn's had buzzed Rabb about his call, she'd said that Petty Officer Coates was on the phone. Jane had said that it was a female petty officer whom she'd seen with Rabb. When Vern had asked how many times the petty officer had called, Burns had answered that _she'd_ called three times, so Petty Officer Coates is female.

Was Petty Officer Coates the woman who Jane had seen was the next question that he needed to answer. What he needed to find that out was a picture of Coates, and the easiest way to get one of those was from her service record.

Once he had Jennifer's photo, he went to see Jane, but Jane wasn't in. She'd gone home early because she wasn't feeling well.

Vern thought that he'd give Petty Officer Coates' service record the once over this afternoon and see if Jane could ID her in the morning.

Jane hadn't looked good at the meeting this morning, and she could probably use the rest, so he didn't want to disturb her at home.

Vern read Jennifer Coates' record. It was a very interesting read. She was currently stationed as the yeoman for the CO of the Joint Legal Services office, and she'd done brig time. Vern then spent some time digging a little deeper and found that then Commander Rabb had represented Coates in the charges that had been brought against her.

At quitting time, Vern had several possible theories that had nothing to do with adultery. Just one of the innocent but what could appear damning scenarios that Vern had now was that the petty officer was in some kind of trouble and seeking the help of a lawyer who'd previously defended her.

He chuckled to himself at how the lunch could be explained away as innocent, now that he had a few more facts. He then locked away the pieces of his private investigations. He was going home.

**SMOKING AREA OUTSIDE NCIS OFFICE**

**END OF DAY **

Petty Officer Burns was talking to a co-worker with whom she'd become friends.

While they smoked a cigarette before the thought of facing traffic was palatable to them, Burns said, "The whole office thinks that it's strange that a captain takes calls from a petty officer so quickly."

Monica, a woman from records replied, "Maybe something, shall we say, non-military is going on between the petty officer and the captain. Another girl in my office said that she saw the record of a petty officer that a then Commander Rabb defended."

These words, perhaps spoken only as a way to fill the time until their cigarettes were smoked, were overheard by at least one other person hovering in the same confined space, smoking their last cigarette before heading home.

So another rumor began, and it will grow tomorrow when a third party repeats it to someone else during the work day, and so on...

**SAN DIEGO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT**

I left work at 1600 on the nose. Leaving at that hour, I was able to get through traffic without much trouble.

I called Mom when I got off at the exit to her house and asked her to get Ty ready for my arrival.

I arrived, and everyone was ready except me, but I changed quickly, and we were on our way.

I couldn't believe that we made it to the mall so easily, but that was the last of our good fortune.

The photographer was running fifteen minutes late with the appointment in front of us, so we lost time there.

Then she had trouble figuring out how to take a nice shot of a tall guy with two much shorter children. The best choice seemed for me to sit down, but the photographer said, "I'm trying to be more original than that." She took the unoriginal poses and tried a few others, and there went another chunk of time.

Mattie and I disagreed about the poses that Mac would like, so we took up time debating the choice of poses and then on what size to get.

I'd brought Mac's charm bracelet to add one of her presents to it and found out that Mattie had been looking for it this morning. She'd purchased a charm for Mac's bracelet, too.

Mattie looks at the ones that Ty and I had bought her, and they meet with her approval. Neither is a duplicate of the one that she'd bought. To save time, I give the bracelet and charms to her. She'll try to get to the mall with Paul tomorrow, have the charms added and get the bracelet back to me.

Even though Mother's Day is a little more than two weeks away, Mac's out of town business trip was the perfect time for us to shop. However, in completing our Mother's Day gift, we're running late to get to the airport.

I'd hoped for an easy trip from the mall to the airport, but no such luck. An accident, road construction and just sheer volume caused backups in several areas along our route.

I park the car, and we head into the terminal to find that Mac's plane had arrived early. I check my watch. Uh oh, her flight landed ten minutes ago.

The airport is crowded, and determining which passengers are coming in from flights and which are trying to reach security to depart is difficult.

There are so many people that I've got a firm grip on Ty's hand. It's fear that has me holding on to his hand so tightly. I can't let anything happen to him, especially only moments before her return.

I'm about to give up the visual search and have her paged when I feel that unexplainable feeling that I get when she's near. I scan the faces in the crowd once more and I see her.

I watch as she moves forward in the crowd. Her hair is pulled back on the sides, leaving bangs in the front, but a clear view of her face. She's wearing a light blue, scoop necked top with a knee length, denim blue skirt.

"I see her," I say in awe of how beautiful she is.

I know that she feels the same connection to me that I feel to her, that unexplainable link that tells her that I'm near and, if she leaves herself on auto pilot, she'll find me. She must be relying on it because she's walking towards us.

I'd say that she's simply seen us, but her face isn't lit up the way it gets when we reunite after time apart. I'd make the excuse that she was gone for only three days, but this is her first time away from Ty, so I know that her reaction to seeing him will invoke that kind of response.

My height does have some advantages, among them is that I'm often one of the tallest in a place and easy to spot in crowded areas. Though there are some here about my height, with our link to give her a direction in which to look, she and I make eye contact, but her face doesn't light up the way I'd anticipated.

Mattie and Mac see each other, and Mattie offers a wave. Mac returns the wave and offers her a nice smile, but not the smile that I'd expected. Is she tired? Did her trip go badly? Isn't she glad to see us? Then I see her hand make a move. It comes out away from her body with the palm down at about Ty's height. Oh, she doesn't think that we're all here. She can't see Ty in this crowd. I nod, trying to convey that he's with me, but I don't think that she sees my nod because several people cross in front of me, and one of them is my height, so I know that our view of each other was blocked for a few moments.

"Can you see her, Ty?" I ask.

"No, I can't see 'cause there's too many people, but you see her, right?"

"Yeah, I can see her."

"I see her, too," Mattie offers.

When Mac sees Ty emerge from the throng of people, I see _the_ smile, the one that could be the sun if the world ever goes dark.

Mac stoops down, and soon she has the young boy wrapped in an embrace, his arms around her neck. "I missed you," she says and squeezes him again, looking up at Mattie and me. "I missed all of you."

After what seems like a long time to me, but I'm sure that it wasn't, Mac stands and hugs Mattie and then gives me a quick squeeze and a peck on the cheek.

"I checked my bag, so after a stop at baggage claim, we can go home." 'Home' comes out in a sigh.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

I'd selfishly hoped that, because it was almost two hours past Ty's usual bedtime when we got in from the airport that he'd go to sleep, but no such luck. He's so keyed up that Mac's home that he insists on story time before going to sleep, and Mac, having missed him so much, is eager to have the time with him, as well.

I leave Mac in Ty's room. I know that she needs to sit with him for a few minutes to confirm to both herself and Ty that she's home with him.

In our room, waiting for Mac, I try not to pace, but I'm not successful. I'm trying to resolve my inner conflict.

My heart just wants to have Mac close to me, close enough that my heart feels the rhythm of hers beating and skips a beat in order to beat in unison with hers. My body wants the close contact, too, but for a different reason. It wants our bodies' close enough that the heat generated between us causes our bodies to melt and mold themselves together.

I hear Mac coming towards our room. I can't believe that I still worry about doing the wrong thing with Mac. Do I listen to my heart? Mac's in the doorway and, in that split second, my heart and body fall silent and my mind is finally heard. 'Pull her to you and let her heart, her body lead you to do what she wants and needs from you. It's the way it works best for the two of you.'

Mac steps into the room and slips off her shoes as she begins to speak, "I spent the last two nights thinking, and I got on the plane wanting to discuss my thoughts with you, but now that we're alone, I have so much that I want to say to you..." She steps into my arms. "...but I can't find the words. I just want to be here with you...in your arms."

I have my eyes locked on hers and drop my head just enough for our lips to make contact. It takes only a few moments for the simple meeting of our lips to kindle the passion that lies within us for the other.

As planned, I let her make the next move. To my delight, her tongue comes from between her lips and traces my lower lip until I open my mouth to accept it.

Our lips are tingling from the contact. She and I flawlessly switch from her tongue in my mouth to mine in hers as our ignited passion has desire coursing through our bodies.

I bring our most recent kiss to a natural end and break the contact of our lips, but keep my arms around her.

Her hands go up under the hem of my gray pullover sweater and her warm palms make contact with the skin on my abdomen as she pushes it up. Her hands glide up my body until she has my sweater bunched up under my chin.

I remove my sweater and drop it. I put my hands on her hips, and my fingers begin to work their way under the edge of her top. My lips fall on hers as I move her top up her body. Then I pull back only far enough to lift her top over her head.

I move in to kiss her again, but she backs away. I take a step, and she takes a step back. I stop, and she takes another step back and removes the rest of her clothing before turning on the bedside table lamp and then pulling down the bedcovers.

I turn off the overhead light and strip myself of the rest of my clothes before getting into bed.

The hungry kisses of lust are replaced with tender kisses of love, but still passion filled. I touch her with loving hands, and she responds in kind.

I'm in no hurry to end the exploration of my wife's body with my eyes, my hands and my lips, so I continue undaunted until I hear her breathless plea in the form of my name strung out into three or four syllables.

As I cover her body with mine, I wonder how I ever thought that my life was complete without her.

Her readiness is evident by the wetness that meets my erection, allowing my tip to easily enter her. As I push a little more of myself into her, her body arches, and I slip deeper inside. I try to move slowly, but the warmth of her surrounding the inserted portion of me makes me want to be completely inside her, and I go faster than I'd intended, but I'm soon rewarded with the feeling of being immersed in the moist warmth of being joined with her.

I've entered her faster than I'd intended, but I regain control and begin a slow rhythm of loving her.

The slow, enjoyable rhythm becomes hard for me to maintain when she begins to writhe underneath me and her walls constrict around my hardened presence inside her.

I don't want this intimate reunion to end, but her legs locking around my thighs tells me that I have no real say in the matter now.

She rises to meet my next thrust and the next.

"I missed you," she pants. A moment later, she pleads, "Harder!" I'm still trying to go slowly, but Mac's final panted word changes that. "Faster," she begs.

Her wish is my command. A handful of thrusts, and I feel my release near. A moan of pleasure from her, and I can't be more than a couple of strokes away.

A thrust and another thrust, and I've achieved the lightheaded euphoria that I get from loving this woman.

I roll to my side and bring her with me. Our out-of-breath pants keep us from saying anything.

When I'm able to catch my breath, I whisper, "I love you," but I get no response.

She'd said that she'd done a lot of thinking while she was away. However, I guess that she didn't do any sleeping, because she's sound asleep.

I make sure that she's covered up and pull her close. I'll get to sleep easier tonight with her in my arms, too.

She may have wanted to talk, but she seemed to have needed the strength of knowing that I'm here for her before she could release her thoughts.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow what she's been thinking about.


	86. Chapter 86

**PART SEVEN –**** Colonel MacKenzie: My Date, My Wife, And The CO**

**THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 2006 **

**NCIS OFFICE  
NEAR LUNCHTIME**

Mac had returned to work this morning, resuming her normal routine prior to her trip without batting an eye. Though today, the four walls of her office felt confining - she felt boxed in.

When her 1000 appointment had called to explain that they wouldn't be able to get away to meet with her, the need to escape her 'box' had her telling them, "Then, I'll come to you."

On the way back from her meeting at the 32nd Street Naval Base, she'd come up with the idea to take Harm to lunch. She'd called Coates to see if she had to hurry back for any other appointments, and since she hadn't needed to rush back to the office, she was now walking towards the NCIS building where Harm's office was located to see if he could get away to have lunch with her.

Mac stepped inside the building, realizing that she'd been to Director Landon's office, but she had no idea where to find Harm's office, so she moved towards the receptionist's desk.

Mac waited her turn behind an older gentleman.

When the man in front of her turned to walk away, he noticed the rank of the woman in uniform who'd been standing behind him.

"Ma'am," the gentleman said as he stepped away from the desk, allowing Mac to take a step forward.

"Could you tell me where the JAG office is, please?" Mac asked the young receptionist.

Vern had been at the desk informing the receptionist that he'd be out until after lunch, but the colonel asking for the JAG office had stopped him in his tracks.

"Do you have an appointment with someone in particular?" the receptionist asked Mac.

"I'm here to see Captain Rabb, but I don't have an appointment."

Vern had gone to see Jane earlier that morning to show her several pictures, and she'd picked Petty Officer Coates out as the woman whom she'd seen with Captain Rabb at the deli, and he'd been on his way to the JLS office to speak with the petty officer until his curiosity about the female colonel looking for Rabb got the better of him. It wasn't like they were expecting him at JLS, so it would keep until he personally showed the colonel to the legal office.

"I'll show you the way to Captain Rabb's office, ma'am," Vern offered.

"I don't want to inconvenience you. If you'll give me directions, I'll find it," Mac replied politely.

"No problem, lass. I need to verify my appointment time with Captain Rabb for this afternoon anyway. It seems that now is a perfect time for me to do that while I can escort a pretty lady at the same time," he said, offering Mac a friendly smile.

"When a man is being a gentleman and a complimentary one at that, a lady shouldn't say no. I'd be delighted for you to show me the way," Mac said while offering a polite smile in return.

Vern motioned for her to walk with him and, when she turned to follow, he was able to read her name badge. 'Colonel MacKenzie...MacKenzie...that name sounds familiar.' he thought, but where had he read it?

He was working two cases given to him by the director and continuing his supervision of team three, and he couldn't put his finger on where he'd seen that name.

He hated getting older. Twenty years ago, he would've been able to recall where, when and with what case, and what the full name was: MacKenzie something or something MacKenzie.

Thank goodness the walk from the lobby to the JAG office was short, because it didn't make the complete silence seem awkward.

They arrived at the glass door labeled JAG, and Vern opened the door to allow the lady to enter.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**MOMENTS BEFORE**

After the meeting this morning, I managed to get back to my office and get some work done. It's amazing the difference that waking up next to Mac this morning has made in my productivity.

I've been sitting in this chair for a couple of hours straight, so I'll take the small stack of case folders that I've reviewed, signed and are ready to be filed out to Burns' desk so that I can stretch my legs. I also have a file that has a ballistics report in it that doesn't belong and I want to get Burns to look for the correct file.

I get up, and my legs are thanking me for deciding to stand instead of having Burns come in to get them.

I walk out of my office and place the stack of files on the corner of Petty Officer Burns' desk. In my other hand, I hold the misfiled ballistics report.

I want to review both the case that the report really belongs to and the one the report was found in before signing off on the one I have. I want to know if there's a similarity in the two cases that had someone looking at the out-of-place report or did someone just slip the report into this file in error?

I've just handed the ballistics report over to Petty Officer Burns with instructions to return it to me when she's found the case file that it belongs to when my 'Mac radar' starts sending me signals.

I turn towards the door and see her walk in with Vern, who's holding the door open for her. I know that an involuntary smile has spread across my face at the sight of her.

"Well, hello, Colonel, what brings you by?" I ask, amazed that, with the intimate nature of our relationship now, I find it easy to keep our military persona intact with both of us in uniform.

"I was out of the office and thought that I'd stop by to see if you were free for lunch. I figure that I owe you one since I couldn't make it last Tuesday and had to send Coates to bring it back to me."

"Well, since I felt obligated to buy her lunch for her trouble, you're buying today," I tell her.

"I had a general on the phone who was wearing my ear out and couldn't make it after all. The only reason why I sent Petty Officer Coates to find you was because you didn't answer your cell phone, and you'd already left the office so that she couldn't reach you here to cancel."

"Yeah, my cell phone doesn't work in the building." I wince. "Since we'd already agreed where and when to meet for lunch, I didn't take the time to turn it on and check for messages when I left the office, either." I realize that our playful banter is causing some raised eyebrows around the room. "Everyone, I'd like for you to meet my lunch date, my wife and CO of Joint Legal Services, Southwest, Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. Mac, towards the back of the room is Lieutenant Monroe, and the Marine is Major Lafferty. Ensign Monroe is up front here, and this is my yeoman, Petty Officer Burns. I don't know if you've had a formal introduction, but the man who held the door for you is Special Agent Vernon O'Malley."

"My friends and pretty ladies call me Vern," he said, flirting just a little.

While Mac and Vern shake hands, I ask, "Since the colonel's buying, do you want to join us for lunch, Vern?"

"Wait a minute! I didn't agree to buy your lunch. I wasn't the one who didn't check my messages or forget to turn on my phone," Mac says, teasing me before turning to Vern. "You, on the other hand, kind sir, I'd be happy to buy your lunch if you'd like to join us."

"I'll let the captain have you to himself today. I have a few things to check into before I meet with him this afternoon. Perhaps another time. I'll see you later, Captain. It was nice to meet you, Colonel. I hope to see you again."

After taking a moment to tell Vern that I'd see him later, I let Mac know that, once I grab my cover out of my office, we can head out to lunch.

Vern said his goodbyes to the JAG staff and the colonel, and headed back to his office. He was glad that he'd taken the time to show the colonel to the JAG office.

In listening to their playful banter, he'd learned what he'd needed to know about Captain Rabb. He'd had a lunch date with his wife on Tuesday and not with Petty Officer Coates. The petty officer was his wife's yeoman and made personal phone calls for her once in a while, such as calling to cancel a lunch date.

Vern knew where he'd seen the name MacKenzie now. It was in Rabb's service record. Sarah MacKenzie was listed as his spouse, so he hadn't lost his mind completely.

Vern was jumping for joy inside as the facts came together. His mind might be slipping a little, but his instincts were still on target. He hadn't been wrong about Captain Rabb's character or Jane's. Captain Rabb wasn't cheating on his wife and Jane hadn't lied.

Jane had seen a situation that could be interrupted innocently or with a corrupt slant, and Vern was certain that, with influence from Sinclair, Jane had seen it as the latter.

Vern was going to keep his appointment with Rabb this afternoon and wrap up this matter for Landon.

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**AFTER LUNCH**

It had been Mac's intention to broach the subject on her mind. Her thought being that, if she at least hinted at it over lunch, it would open the door to a deeper discussion of it later. However, it was harder than she'd thought that it would be to even hint at it.

After he'd given up a prestigious command assignment to transfer here to be with her, how could she tell him that she wanted to retire when she was eligible in May of next year?

Mac had asked him about how he liked his new duty, but he hadn't really answered the question. He'd said, "It's gotten off to a rocky start, but it's okay." How could she retire and leave him with an assignment that he hated but had because of her?

She knew that she needed to talk to him about it, but she needed to retreat and talk to him about it at another time, perhaps after a few weeks when he'd gotten settled in and felt better about his job. So, for the time being, it was probably best to put the discussion on hold.

Mac, having put the idea of discussing her retiring aside, used the time to talk to Harm about the plan for enrolling Ty in school, and she listed the ideas that she'd come up with for the weekend that she'd promised him when she'd left. She really hadn't promised Ty a weekend of fun things, but it was going to take the whole weekend to do the things on her list unless Harm was able to eliminate some of them.

While imparting her ideas on places for her to take Ty this weekend, Mac had an idea of how to 'hint' at the topic of her giving serious thought to her retiring from the Corps by bringing up her visit to Bud and Harriet's for dinner one evening while she was in DC.

"You know, the Roberts' children are getting so big." She reached for her purse and took out the picture that Harriet had given her of the children. "Harriet said that they'd had this picture taken several weeks ago to give to her mother as a Mother's Day gift, and she plans to give one to Big Bud for Father's Day next month. She gave me a small copy for us to have since we're AJ's godparents."

Harm didn't just look at the picture, he studied it. Perhaps this would lead the conversation in the right direction.

Mac was hoping to be able to convey her thoughts clearly. She didn't want to walk away from her great career. She wanted a new career. She didn't want to be a on a plane to anywhere in the world at a moment's notice anymore. She wanted to be a mother who was close at hand to see their children grow up.

The thought of motherhood had flitted through her mind before, but with their appointment with the fertility specialist coming up and her recent visit to see Harriet, Mac found that the thought no longer passed through. It lingered, and with increasing frequency.

After a couple of moments, Harm said, "They are getting big. I mean, we saw them not that long ago. You remember when we took Ty there? He had a great time with them, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he sure did," Mac replied.

Mac was about to say something that would move the conversation a step or two closer to the topic of her retirement when his cell phone rang.

Team one was bringing in a suspect in a murder case and wanted him to be there for the interrogation. Just like that, lunch was over, and she had to put the topic on hold again.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**LATER IN THE AFTERNOON**

I've been off the phone for all of two minutes and I'm still not sure about what I heard. When Webb's people questioned the IRS agent who'd requested my tax information, Webb told me that he'd stalled for a while, but finally confessed that an old friend from NCIS had asked him to do it, Vernon O'Malley. 'Why would O'Malley be checking on me?'

I'd suspected Sinclair, based on our mutual dislike of each other, but O'Malley? If Webb had said Michaels, I wouldn't have liked it, but I could blame his interest on the fact that my report on the Lyons case had landed him and his agent in some hot water.

On the other hand, the action taken hadn't been that severe. The agent of record in the Lyons case had had a formal reprimand entered in his record, but had been allowed to return to field work with the stipulation that all of the agent's work had to be run past Michaels.

The extra work for Michaels caused by the stipulation was indirect punishment for Michaels. However, it wasn't a permanent arrangement. Landon had given the stipulation a time limit of ninety days, during which Michaels would have to decide if the agent had learned his lesson or if the agent needed to be reassigned to team three for retraining or have his employment terminated.

Why would O'Malley be interested in anything about me? Why? I find myself repeating that over and over. I remember that he and I have an appointment this afternoon. I'll just have to ask him what his beef is with me. I look at my watch, 1350. Good, if he's on time, I won't have to wait long.

My intercom buzzes at 1355. O'Malley's here. I open my office door to meet him.

"I scheduled an appointment to talk to you about a case that I'm tryin' to close." Vern's talking louder than normal. He's making sure that the 'ears' in the room hear that he's here on a case.

"I'm glad that you're here. I've got some questions for you, too." My voice is stern. I've calmed some in the five minutes that I've been waiting for him, but I still want to know what the hell is going on.

He steps into my office, and I offer him a seat and head around my desk to sit in my chair. I decide to let him go first. He made this appointment. Maybe he'll answer my question before I have to ask. Besides, if I ask questions first, he'll know that I was tipped off, and depending on why he's asking them, knowing that I was informed that he was poking around may not be in my best interest.

Vernon 'Vern' O'Malley, the white-haired man in his early sixties, leans back in his chair. "I'm set to retire, 5 January. I marked off day number 253 this mornin'. You know what that means in terms of case assignments, he asks?"

"Not exactly, but you stepped down from the excitement of leading team one to ride out a desk until you retire, so why complain about case assignments?" I ask a little curtly.

"I'm not talkin' about cases that come in the front door, lad. I'm talkin' about the cases behind the scenes...the rumors that flow around this buildin'. Sometimes they have to be investigated before we call in the internal investigators. If they called in the internal boys for every rumor, we wouldn't get any work done because we'd be trippin' over 'em."

"So what rumors are you investigating that made you want to see me this afternoon?"

"I drew two of the buggers, and you're the subject of one of 'em, my boy."

"Me?" I question in surprise.

"Yes, you were seen meetin' and payin' for a young enlisted woman's lunch last Tuesday, and the person who saw you reported it. The rumors have been on the move for at least a couple of days that you can't be trusted if you're cheatin' on your wife."

"I'm not cheating on my wife!" I practically yell. I can't believe what I'm hearing and, for the moment, his looking into my employment history doesn't matter to me.

"I thought that I felt eyes on me a few times. I even noticed that some people seemed to stop talking when I passed by them in the hall, but I hadn't heard the rumors."

"Probably for the better that you didn't hear them," Vern says, making me realize that I'd given voice to my thoughts.

"So why are you here, Vern, to question or confront me about my alleged infidelity?"

"That's why I originally set the meetin', but earlier today I put the matter to rest for the most part. I'll ask you a few questions to say that I did, but after your lovely wife's visit, I don't suppose the answers are goin' to be as interestin' as everyone was thinkin' they'd be. After meetin' your wife and confirmin' that Petty Officer Coates is your wife's yeoman, I believe that your lunch date last Tuesday was with your wife, and the petty officer you were seen with was merely informin' you that your wife couldn't make it, and you bought her lunch as a gesture of kindness. For my report, why did she call you two days later on Thursday?"

"Coates called to tell me that my wife had to work late and that I needed to pick up our son."

"Why did she call yesterday?" Vern asks.

"My wife was in DC on business, but was scheduled to return last night. Coates called to make sure that I was going to pick her up because she'd been dropped off by a driver and she didn't want the colonel sitting around the airport if she was supposed to have made arrangements for a driver to pick her up and forgot to."

"I knew you weren't the type, but I had to look into it. You understand."

We both fall silent. Vern seems to be searching for another question. I'm pondering whether I should ask him about his IRS friend. Vern's the one who breaks the silence.

"I've got what I need to call off the dogs. You're free and clear, my boy."

He stands, and I follow suit. We shake hands, and he leaves my office.

Once Vern leaves my office, the implication of his words begins to sink in.

Who in the hell had seen me last Tuesday? Is there anything else that I should do to head off future allegations?

Having let those two questions plague me all day, I'm quite worked up by the time I leave the office to go home.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**BEDTIME**

Even though Mac had been out of town for the past couple of days, this morning, our established routine was carried out without a flaw. Our routine this evening is back to normal, too. We've all settled right back into our roles with ease. It's a good thing, too, because my family's what's keeping me sane here.

I strip down to my boxers to get ready for bed before I start pacing. I've tried to keep my agitation concerning events at work out of my life at home, but now that the place is quiet, I find myself getting angry all over again.

I don't realize that Mac's come into the room after a final check on Ty and begun to undress until I feel her hand on my arm, bringing me back to the present.

"Harm," she says softly. I focus on her. She's in only her bra and panties. "Where were you just now?" she asks.

"I was thinking about being questioned in an investigation today."

"They questioned you? What kind of case is it?"

"A case of conduct unbecoming, adultery, and I don't know what else they were thinking they'd find."

"What information did they think that you had concerning the case that they'd question you?"

"They questioned me as the suspect."

"What? Why would any one think…?" She's getting fired up and, when I pull her to me, she stops talking without finishing her question.

I must be more rattled by this situation than I'd thought, because I hadn't thought of holding her before now. I should have done it sooner because I feel better the moment our bodies touch. If I have her, my life is good.

"Someone saw me paying for Jennifer's lunch last Tuesday when she came to tell me that you couldn't make it. Whoever it was reported 'my friendly interaction with an enlisted female' to Director Landon."

I can see it in her eyes. She's playing out the scene in her mind of what it might look like to someone else, seeing the exchange at the deli that day before she speaks.

"Okay, I can see how someone could see that and make something out of it." After a pause, she starts to analyze the situation out loud. "They obviously knew who you were to know where to report it. Why didn't they just approach you at the deli and say hi, and, being polite, you'd have introduced Coates? I'm sure that, by the time they'd spoken with you for a few minutes, they'd have known that there was nothing to report."

"I think that's how you and I would have handled seeing someone we knew, but that isn't what whoever saw me did."

I feel her body tense in my arms. She's getting worked up over this situation again. "Why would the director have you questioned about a report like that? Why would he take a report like that seriously? I mean, you were seen in a public place, near your workplace, and he agrees that it's a lover's rendezvous? Does he think that you're stupid?"

"I can't blame Landon. He was in a tough spot. He didn't want to brush the report under the rug and have it come back to haunt him if, at some point down the line, it turned out to be true. On the other hand, he didn't want to call the brass and have investigators sent in and come out with egg on his face if nothing was found. So, he asked a seasoned, well-trusted agent to look into it quietly first."

My eyes meet hers, and she asks, "Who would do this to you?"

"I don't know for sure. I can think of only one person who'd like to see me out of the picture, and I'm sure that seeing me twist in the wind while having me discredited would be a plus for him."

"Do you think that Agent Sinclair would do something like this?" she suggests.

"That's who I suspect. Being able to end my career by exposing an affair would get me out of his territory. Causing a rift between us or ending our marriage by exposing an affair would leave you vulnerable and potentially available, so it would kill two birds with one stone. It would've been a piece of ironic fate if it had worked, considering that he dislikes me because I'm married to you, and I dislike him because he doesn't like the fact that I'm married to you."

"You think that this is about me?"

"If it was him, it's about you."

"I'm sorry, Harm."

"Sorry for what? Sorry for being a beautiful and desirable woman? That's hardly your fault." I bend to place a tender kiss on her lips, but, with my mind clear, I find myself more than a little interested in the woman whom I have in my arms and I deepen the kiss.

When our lips part, I offer an arched eyebrow and, in a low voice, I say, "Let's go to bed."

Unlike last night when she was a more passive participant, tonight, she's the aggressor and she leads us from kissing to lovemaking on a path that I willingly follow.

After lovemaking, she's curled against my side in our usual way of falling asleep, except tonight, instead of lying still until sleep claims us, her fingertips are moving over my chest with such a light touch that it almost tickles. After a few minutes of the tickling sensation, it's become a little unsettling.

"I told you what happened because I didn't want you to find out from anyone else. I didn't tell you about today to keep you up tonight, wondering who did it," I inform her.

I've caught her deep in thought, and she stammers a moment before saying any identifiable words. "...and I'm glad you told me. That isn't what I was thinking about. I have a couple of other things on my mind. "

I take her doodling hand in mine, pull it to my lips and place a kiss in her palm before I ask, "You said that you had things that you wanted to say last night. Are you ready to share your thoughts yet?"

"How did you and Ty get along while I was gone?"

"Funny you should ask that. Before you left, I thought that it would be a piece of cake, but it was tougher than I'd thought it would be, but we're okay now."

"What happened?"

"I don't know exactly. I know that, on Monday when you left, he was upset, and I got a wake-up call fast that he and I didn't have the bond needed for me to be his dad. I didn't know what I needed to say to make him feel better and I got the impression that he didn't believe that I wanted to adopt him."

She lifts her head off my shoulder, and there's panic in her eyes. "You do want to, don't you? You aren't just going along with something that I want to do, are you?"

I pull her back towards me and place a kiss on her forehead as soon as she's close enough. "I want him, too. I just don't think that I'd communicated that to him very well."

"I'm not sure that I understand. Can you explain?"

"My 'parenting' relationship with Mattie gave me a false sense of being a dad. I don't know if I can explain what I mean." I sigh in frustration, and a few moments of silence pass. She's waiting on me to find the words. She wants an answer. "Mattie didn't need for me to say anything. I just needed to call when I said I would, show up when I said I would...that sort of thing for her to know that I cared. I can spend time with Ty, but he needs more. He needs to hear that I love him...that I want him to be my son. I wasn't prepared for that."

"You said that you two are okay now, so you told him?"

"Yeah, I told him. In just the time it took to tell him, so much changed. He felt better knowing that I wanted him. I felt better knowing that he wanted me to be his dad."

"It sounds like the trip did us both some good."

"I know what good it did for me. What good did it do for you? ... Maybe being able to go to sleep without being attacked by your husband?" I tease.

She giggles in response. "No. I have something that I want to tell you, but I don't know how. I mean, I don't know how you'll react to the news."

"Just tell me."

"You know how you've been teasing me about how much energy I seem to have since you've been here?"

"Yes, are you taking something?" I question with concern.

"No, no, nothing like that. It's just nervous energy. I get like that when I don't want to think about something. I have to keep moving. Shopping that day and the days afterward until we got Tyler, I was trying not to think about not getting him. After we got Ty, I settled down some, but it didn't last. I had this feeling that I didn't want to think about. I've buried myself in the responsibilities of work, family and home, but while I was away, all the distractions were removed."

I don't know where this is going, but it seems like she's beginning to struggle a little, so I try to help. "So you had to think about it." She nods against my chest. "And you've identified the feeling and thought it through?"

"Yes."

"And...?" I ask to prompt her to finish her thought.

"I want to retire from the Corps next year when I have in my twenty."

"Whoa..."

I can't believe my ears, but I'm not angry. I'm concerned that she's made such a big decision in three days and two nights without ever mentioning the possibility to me before now.

"You're angry."

I take a moment to compose myself. "No, I'm not angry...shocked maybe, but not angry. What is this feeling that you're having that makes you want to retire?"

"A feeling is so hard to explain, and it's complicated. I don't know the words to use. I can't explain the feeling, but I can explain my reasons."

It's my turn to just nod for her to go ahead. I don't want to risk my surprise sounding like anger again. It might shut her down, and I want her to talk to me.

She lifts her head off my chest again before she begins to speak.

"It has to do with our family. I missed Ty, Mattie and you so much. I don't want to have to go off on trips for business anymore. Mattie's going to graduate from high school next year and be off to college or working, and she won't be here much, if at all, but I want to be here to see her when she is here. Ty's going to grow up so fast, like the Roberts' children, and I'll miss so much of it if I'm called away because of work."

I can see her eyes moisten as tears begin to form in them. "And I want a baby. For us, for me, a baby could mean months of procedures and trying. I won't be giving my all to the Corps if I'm checking my temperature or taking time out of every day to take the shots. I just don't think that I can have it all, at least not all at once. Does any of this make sense to you?"

"It does. I just don't think that three days is enough time for you to consider all the implications and make a decision that's this important."

"You don't want me to leave the Corps?"

"I didn't say that."

Not giving me time to say anything else, she speaks again.

"You want me to stay in the Corps until when? You retire?" she asks with a certain amount of irritation in her voice.

"I didn't say that either, Mac." I rush the next sentence out to keep her from saying anything else before I can get in what I want to say. "I'm at a disadvantage here. You've been thinking about this for a few days. I've had only a few minutes. I don't want you to make a decision in haste...one that sounds good, but, in the long run, you'll regret."

She's staring at me and, if looks could kill, I'd be dead. I take in a breath for courage. "There were factors there or weren't there that may have clouded your decision-making skills in this area." I'm on thin ice. I need to get my point out quickly. "None of your family was there, and you missed us, so it would be perfectly natural for you to want to retire. You saw the picture of the Roberts' children and how much they've grown since the last time we saw them..."

"I get your point," she says sharply.

I lift her head with my hands so that she's looking me in the eye again. "It's like every time that we were in some sort of jam that put our lives in jeopardy. I always wished that you weren't there...that you weren't a Marine. Then the danger would pass, we'd be okay, and I'd have a change of heart. If you weren't a Marine, I wouldn't have met you. If we hadn't met, I wouldn't be in love with you, wishing that you were somewhere else safe. So you see, by saying that you'll give up the Corps while being separated from us, no matter how short a time, and the evidence that children grow up whether you're there or not, of course it seems like the best answer, but once you've been home for a few days and in your routine, you may feel differently. I'm just saying that you need to think about it now that you're home and 'out of danger' so to speak."

"I don't remember you being this smart before. When did it happen?"

"When I married you," I offer in reply.

Mac gives me a wide, happy smile before kissing me and starting our second round of lovemaking tonight.


	87. Chapter 87

**PART EIGHT – Falling Into Place**

**FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 2006**

**NCIS REGIONAL OFFICE**

**MORNING MEETING**

After two days of being absent from the morning meeting, Sinclair is present this morning, though he looks as if he hasn't slept in a week.

As Sinclair goes into more detail about the case and arrest, I listen to him take all the credit for his team's efforts, but my eyes lock on Jane.

During his report, Sinclair says that he made the arrest in the drug case late last night and has been 'pushing paper' through the night to get the loose ends wrapped up.

Jane was here yesterday, looking a little pale, but better than the day before. Today, she's sitting next to Sinclair, but she hasn't looked in his direction once. I find her behavior odd, but I try not to over analyze my observation.

At the end of Vern's report, he turns to me. "Captain Rabb, I have a favor to ask of you. I asked Colonel MacKenzie over at JLS the other day to arrange for a few of my newer agents to sit in on a trial or two as part of their trainin'. I'm afraid that they have a full schedule for the next few weeks. If you could tell your wife that I'll call when I have some idea of when the agents will be free, it would save me some time."

"I don't know if I'll be able to reach her this morning since she has her staff meeting and then she's taking our son to register him for school, but I'll be sure to give the message to her yeoman since I'm sure that Petty Officer Coates is probably the one who'll be making the arrangements anyway."

"If it isn't too much trouble for you, I'd be glad to be done with it. Thank you." Vern's smiling brightly as he concludes and the next speaker begins.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**ABOUT LUNCHTIME**

It takes me two trips to Vern's office after the meeting before someone on his team finally tells me that I'm wasting my time because Vern had come by after the meeting, said that he was going to meet an informant and that he'd be back after lunch.

I've been doing busy work, trying to occupy my mind while I wait for Vern to return so that I can see him. I've got a couple of reasons for wanting to meet with him.

There's the matter of my tax information that he'd requested that I'd like to know why. I also want to know the purpose of our verbal exchange at the meeting this morning. I'd played along this morning because I'd felt that he had a purpose for our little 'show', even though I didn't know what it might be or what he hoped to accomplish with it.

When I got back to my office, a call to Mac confirmed that Vern hadn't made such a request. While Mac and I were on the phone, she wanted to know if I'd be free for lunch again today.

This morning, Mac took Ty to work with her. She said that she'd sequester him in her office while she conducted her staff meeting. After her staff meeting, she'd handle anything that was urgent before taking Ty to register him for school.

After being away for three days and with school starting on Monday, Mac wants to spend as much time with Ty as possible over the next few days. While I was on the phone, she had the idea that, after seeing her office this morning, Ty might like to see my office.

We agree on the phone that I'd meet them out front. We'd go to lunch, and then I'd show him my office when we got back.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**AFTER LUNCH **

I'd been out front as promised when Mac and Ty arrived to pick me up. By the time Mac had arrived, she'd received a call from work. Something had come up and she needed to go back. She said that she'd been trying to reach Frank to see if she could drop Ty off there or have Frank pick Ty up, but she hadn't been able to reach him.

She'd said that, if we do the fast food drive-thru thing for lunch instead of the real restaurant that she'd promised me, she'll have enough time to take Ty to the condo to stay with Mattie, but I have a better idea.

"My mornings aren't conducive to company, but I don't have anything on my schedule this afternoon. I do want to speak with someone if he's back in his office, but, if Ty was okay in your office while you held a staff meeting, he should be fine in mine because my meeting shouldn't take as long. If you leave Ty with me, that'll give the three of us time to have a real lunch."

Mac smiled at me, knowing that I'd probably been to more fast food places in the past few weeks than I had in years.

It was no problem to get Ty to agree to come to work with me after lunch, but Mac was hesitant. However, she couldn't say no to the double charm of Ty and Harmon Rabb.

To avoid new rumors, I introduce my son to my staff upon my return from lunch.

After a brief period of introductions, we head into my office. Once there, Ty sits in a chair in front of my desk, and we talk about what I do and how it's different from what Mac does.

Ty has a few other questions before he asks if I have a piece of paper and a pencil that he may use. He tells me that he needs to make a list.

After presenting him with a legal pad and pencil, I ask him, "A list of what?"

"Stuff to do this weekend," he replies with a smile.

"I thought that Mac already had a list," I respond, a little confused.

"Mac said that I should make a list of what I want to do. She said that her list was too long and that you didn't help to make it shorter."

I tried to shorten the list, I think to myself. For instance, I said to her, "You can scratch off the Family Fun Center." She replied, "He likes miniature golf, and they have an arcade…I think go carts, too." To which, I replied, "I know what it is. That's why I suggested that you take it off the list. He and I went to an arcade while you were gone. We can go there, but it doesn't have to be this weekend." She looked at me like, if he did it without her, it didn't count, so I moved onto another item on her list, and the conversation was similar. So, after three or four attempts, I'd quit trying.

Ty's still talking. I hope that I didn't miss anything important.

"Mac said that, because there was work to do at home, like laundry and grocery shopping, there wouldn't be enough time to do everything on her list. She said that, if I made a list, the things that we both wrote down is what we'd do first. We can do the other things on other weekends."

I watch Ty write down the first item, RCADE - I hate it when Mac's right.

I point to the front of the word and tell him that he's missing the 'A' in Arcade and watch him as he corrects it.

I don't want to make an unnecessary trip to Vern's office to see if he's there, especially now that I have company, and then the logic of calling to see if he's in hits me.

I buzz Petty Officer Burns to find out if I have a list of the extensions in the building. She tells me were to find it, and I'm soon dialing the four digit number to call Vern's office. I'm pleased when he answers his phone.

I take a few minutes to give Ty instructions about what to touch and what not to touch. He brought his backpack in with him from Mac's car, so he has plenty of his own stuff, and I gather from his look of exasperation that he heard a similar rundown from Mac.

"Heard the speech from Mac already today, huh?" I ask.

"Yup, I can sit at the desk, but what's on the desk is important, so I can't touch anything. I can draw or use my computer, but I can't touch your computer."

Ty pulls out his computer. It's a look-a-like laptop that teaches math and spelling skills. It was one of the things that Mac had bought him for Easter. Since the other three of us have an actual laptop, she thought that it would help him feel like he fit in, and he could learn something, as well.

"Sounds like you've got it. I have to ask someone some questions, but they're here in the building. I won't be gone too long. Okay?"

"Okay," Ty responds with a shrug.

**VERN'S OFFICE**

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

I want answers, but I want to get back to Ty as soon as possible, too. After Vern and I exchange polite greetings, I sit down and get right to my first point.

"Vern, who were we putting on that little show for this morning?"

"Yeah, you did a fine job of goin' along, lad. That 'show' as you call it, was for the gal in the computer department, mostly. She'll set off a domino effect with the email system and, by the end of the day, most of the building will have the news that you're a happily married man. Anyone else who tells the tale will just be helping the cause, squashin' those cheatin' rumors. I filled in Landon yesterday afternoon, so it's officially a closed book."

The room falls silent for a few moments while I try to form a line of questioning that will take me to the reason for the tax request without being too direct. I'd trusted Vern until I found out that he was snooping into my business. My trust would have been restored when he 'came clean' in my office yesterday, if the tax information had had anything to do with what he claimed to be investigating.

Vern's the one who breaks the silence. "I think that I should warn you about another rumor goin' around...the one that says that someone around here is investigatin' Agent Sinclair. You being the new guy and given the recent rumor about you, which could have been a diversionary tactic by Sinclair, I think you'll be pegged as the guy doin' the investigatin.' Things could get tense for you around here."

"I'm not investigating anyone, but something tells me that you are."

Vern gives me a sheepish grin. "I don't know what you could be talkin' about. I've seen you at the meetin's, takin' it all in. It could be you. You could be investigatin' all of us for all I know." Vern pauses for a moment, and then he speaks again. "I know why Rich doesn't like Michaels. It's jealousy, pure and simple, but do you have any idea what Michaels has against Sinclair?"

"No idea," I respond.

"A man can feel the tension between you and Sinclair as well. So tell this old man - what history is there between the two of you?"

"No history. I didn't meet him until I got here," I explain.

"Why don't you trust him then?" he asks.

"I have trust issues?" I say with a sly grin to avoid the personal issue that's the major cause of my distrust.

"You trust me, so I'm not buyin' that answer. "Lawyer, aviator and dabbler in CIA games, should have known that you wouldn't talk about your investigation," he says with a chuckle.

"I'm not conducting an investigation, but you know that. However, I do have a few questions for you. For starters, why do you think that I 'dabbled' in the CIA?"

"A guy who shows up and has everyone talkin' about him within a week got my curiosity up, so I did some checkin' on you. You have a gap in your service record. I got a friend to request your employment record by way of the IRS. I should say former friend of mine, because he called to tell me that some suits showed up to ask why he'd requested the information. He wasn't real happy."

"Why do you think that the people who questioned him were CIA agents?"

"FBI guys wear sport coats and ties, flick their badge covers open and proudly announce that they're FBI. He said that the two guys who paid him a visit wore three-piece suits, had no sense of humor and didn't identify themselves as anyone from anywhere…sounds like boys from the CIA to me."

I relax, knowing that I can trust Vern, and sit back a little more comfortably in the chair. "Vern, let's say that I was investigating Sinclair. Do I know what I'm looking for? Do I have any theories to share yet?"

"No theories to investigatin' rumors. You just need to listen and check on the things that you can."

"Say case report summaries and arrest records?" I ask.

Vern smiles. ""You missed your callin,' boy. You'd make a fine investigator. I knew that you were good, but I didn't see you catchin' on so quickly."

"I've done my fair share of investigative work as a JAG," I tell Vern.

Vern stands and reaches out to shake my hand.

I hold him in a handshake a few moments longer than needed to keep his attention. "If you need my help, you'll have it."

As I leave his office, I know that we understand each other.

He's going to put the suspicion on me that I'm investigating Sinclair, and he knows that I know it's him, but, if or when he needs my help, he'll have it.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**AFTER MEETING WITH VERN**

I return to my office and ask Petty Officer Burns if there's anything urgent on my schedule for the rest of the day. She says that there's nothing urgent, but she did get a call about the file that I'd requested yesterday just before lunch that should be missing a ballistics report.

The file seems to be missing, a fact that I find to be very strange.

"I called the records department supervisor. He'll start with who checked it out last and work backwards from there to track it down. He doesn't know how long it's going to take, but he said that he'd call personally when they find it," Petty Officer Burns explains.

"Thank you, Petty Officer. In that case, I'll be leaving shortly. You'll be able to reach me on my cell phone if necessary."

I enter my office and see that Ty has moved into my chair and is currently playing a math game on his computer.

"Guess what, Buddy. I talked to Petty Officer Burns and I don't have anything that I have to finish this afternoon, so I have an idea. Why don't we pack up our stuff and call it a day? I know where we can go to have some ice cream on the way home. What do you say?"

"Really? That would be cool. Can we ride with the top down?" he asks excitedly.

"Sure, top down," I reply, and we exchange a high-five.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

Mac gets home a few minutes early because she doesn't have to stop to pick up Ty on her way home.

Ty runs out of the kitchen where we've been making dinner to greet her.

"Mac, Mac, you're home."

She sets down her briefcase as he approaches. "Yes, I am. I didn't think that you'd be home when I got here, though." She bends to embrace him and looks at me. "How did you two beat me home?"

"I finished up everything that I wanted to do today, and we were able to leave early."

She and Ty have released each other, and Mac is picking up her briefcase from where she'd put it down to hug Ty.

"The place smells like the two of you have been busy in the kitchen," she comments.

"We have," I say.

"Mac, we did all kinds of things to give us more time to do stuff this weekend," Ty adds.

"You did. Well, I'm going to change clothes and start a load of laundry if I have time before dinner, and then you can tell me what the two of you did after Harm left work."

"Okay," Ty says.

Mac looks at me, and I inform her, "You have about twenty minutes before dinner's ready."

"I'll be back down in a minute," she says before tuning to head upstairs.

When Mac joins us, we're setting the table for dinner. "I stopped by to say hi to Mattie, but she wasn't in her room," she comments.

"Paul's already picked her up for their date," I explain.

"Why so early?" she asks.

"She had something to pick up at the mall. With me home early, she could avoid the 'him not coming by while neither one of us is at home' rule and get a couple of extra hours with Paul at the same time, so she called him as soon as she found out that I was home for the day."

**LATER DURING DINNER**

"We had a couple of phone calls today. One was Frank's realtor friend. He said that he didn't have anything yet, but a client called him today about putting his house on the market when the renters move out the first of June. He says that the size and location would make it our ideal house. The draw back is that it's been rented for many, many years and will need some work. At a minimum, we're talking new paint, carpet and probably appliances. Since it is an older home, it may need more renovation than that. He asked if a place that needed some work would be okay."

"What did you tell him?" Mac asks.

"I told him that, if the place was as perfect as he says it is, then we'd certainly consider it because I'm pretty handy with a hammer. I think he was worried that the June part would be a problem until I reminded him that the lease on this place isn't up until November first. After the reminder, he thought that it might be perfect. We'd have someplace to live while contractors did work on the house if it turns out to be a bigger project than we think that we can handle on our own. He said that he's scheduled to meet with the client right after the renters move out and he'll let us know if it comes on the market. In the meantime, he'll keep checking to see if anything comes up in the same league as the house that he has in mind. He'll call if he finds one."

"Did he give you any details about the house?"

"No, he said that he wanted to wait until he knew for sure that it was going to be available. He did say that it had everything on our needs and wants list and more."

"If it has everything on our list, I wonder if we can afford it," she comments.

"I asked that. He said that the owner's had the house for years and he knows that it needs work, so he's pretty sure that he's going to be trying to just unload it. He thinks that the fact that it needs work is going to be our leverage to get it for well under market value so that, even after repairs, we'll be making an excellent investment."

"It sounds great. I just hope that it doesn't turn out to be too good to be true. Who else called?" she asks.

"The other one was the car salesman. Frank's contact has been in touch with the dealership. The salesman said that we can come by to see him anytime between nine and five tomorrow. He said that he'd be happy to answer your questions so that you can make a choice between the three models to which you've narrowed it down: the Durango, which is the SUV, the Caravan, which is the minivan, or the Neon, which is the newest model of the sedan like Frank's that you've been driving that you looked at. If you make a decision tomorrow, he'll make sure that you drive away in it."

Ty's been eating his dinner while we talk, but the new car has him interested in the conversation again. "Are we going to buy one of the cars that we looked at last weekend?"

"If we can decide on which one, yes," Mac answers with a smile.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**BEDTIME**

We've stayed up a little later than usual. Mac's finished a few loads of laundry to free up time for our family activities tomorrow. I went by to see Frank after his car salesman friend called and borrowed his car to go do the grocery shopping. I love my 'Vette, but it isn't very practical sometimes.

With laundry and grocery shopping out of the way, we hope that we've freed up some extra time to do some of the fun things on Mac and Ty's lists.

We have a busy day planned for tomorrow, but we don't hesitate to burn a little more midnight oil to make love before cuddling to go to sleep.

I'm tired, so I don't understand why I'm not ready to close my eyes yet until I begin to think about how this weekend with my family will recharge my batteries before I start my third week at NCIS on Monday.

Thinking about going to work on Monday brings a couple of the problems of the past two weeks to mind.

I don't trust Special Agent Sinclair. The irony is that I probably would have liked the guy, at least at the start, if he hadn't made repeated passes at my wife.

Another area of trouble stems from my predecessor. After two years under the prior JAG officer's lack of interest in doing anything other than the bare essentials, my 'I want to stay on top of things' attitude has had a distinct impact on the two primary areas of my job. My staff seems resistant but compliant because of my rank, and members of NCIS with whom I have direct contact seem skeptical that my gung ho approach will last.

My eyes are too heavy for me to keep open any longer, so I allow them to close, but sleep doesn't come right away.

I never heard the rumor about my perceived infidelity directly, but the knowledge that it had been suggested and investigated doesn't make me feel good about my current duty station.

However, with my name cleared, at least among those whose opinion matter to me, I'm feeling better about the assignment.

As I drift into the space between awake and asleep, I think about today.

Finding out that Sinclair's under investigation has me believing that, though things have gotten off to a rocky start on the work front, they've begun to fall into place.

I have a feeling that the investigation of Agent Sinclair will yield some type of infraction, but I hope that he hasn't done anything illegal. Maybe the infraction is something that will require a few days suspension.

A corrupt or burned out agent would hurt everyone, not just Sinclair. If he is suspended for a while, when he returns to duty after his time off and if the experience has humbled him, then justice will have been served, in my opinion.

Harm was now sound asleep. In his dreams, he'd come to understand the strength that his family gave him.

The two weeks before Harm's first day at NCIS, they'd spent time creating space for him and adjusting their daily schedules to make Tyler feel welcome, secure and at home. In doing that, Harm felt more settled and at home now, too.

Yes, his duty assignment had gotten off to a rocky start and still gave him cause for concern, but will his home life center him and provide him with the strength to face what's yet to come?


	88. Chapter 88

JUSTICE SERVED

**PART ONE – Part Of The Solution **

**SATURDAY, APRIL 29, 2006**

Though most of last Wednesday's dinner conversation at Mom's was about Ty and the social worker's visit, after dinner, I did talk to Paul about the Tri event that he'd mentioned to me during one of our first meetings.

With my knee holding up to daily running, even if not at the five mile a day minimum of recent years, Paul and I had agreed that evening to start my training today for the October race.

Sergei was into bike riding the way I was into running, so when he returned to Russia, he left the bicycle that I'd bought for him with me. However, the bike is with the rest of my things, somewhere between here and Naples, Italy. With no bike, we decided to add the ocean swim portion of the event to my exercise routine first.

I met Paul at the beach a little after dawn this morning. I want to stay in shape and follow the doctor's suggestions after my knee injury, but I don't want to sacrifice time with my family to do it, so an early morning workout seemed the best solution.

I head back to the condo after making a 'date' for early Wednesday morning for another mile ocean swim.

I enter the condo as quietly as I can. My hope is that everyone's still asleep the way I left them, but, as I enter, I hear a noise coming from the kitchen.

I find Mac in the kitchen, starting coffee and breakfast. We greet each other with a morning kiss. She says that I taste like salt water, so I'm dismissed to shower and wake up Ty and Mattie for breakfast.

We'd asked Mattie to go with us today, but she'd declined. She'd said that she wasn't into 'kid stuff' anymore. I begged to differ that SeaWorld wasn't 'kid stuff.' She didn't argue the point, but she reminded us of the fact that she needed to go to work. Of course, she works for my mother, so I told her that I could get her the day off.

"I can't take a day off. Grandma's given me part of the next gallery event to handle. Since I'm going back to school on Monday, I need to work as much as I can on it whenever possible," she offers as an explanation.

"What part has she given you?"

"I'll show you at the next gallery night, May 13th, if you don't already have it marked on your calendar."

It's apparent from her demeanor that, whatever it is, it's very important to her, so we let it go. However, we ask her to accompany us to the car dealership. She's pleased to go along when she finds out that, since she isn't going on our family outing today, if we decide on a vehicle, we'll take it, and she'll have the sedan for the rest of the day. Since we have only two spaces to park at the condo, she'll need to have Paul pick her up for their date tonight at her grandparents' and leave Frank's car with him.

Mac and I talked about the car choices last night, but had only eliminated one for sure, the Neon sedan. It's the best on gas, but it wouldn't be practical for our other interests. If we need a car like the Neon, Frank will let us borrow his, so there's no point in having the same car.

At the dealership, Mac decides on the SUV. She says that the primary reason for her choice is that she can't see _me_ in a 'mom car.' She also thinks that it would look odd to have the rack for my bike on the back. The reason that got the bigger laugh was imagining me jumping out of a minivan to do the grocery shopping. I don't say a word, but I'm relieved that she went with the SUV.

As we're completing the paperwork, she looks at me, completely ignoring the salesman in the room. "I think we made the right choice, but sometimes I miss my 'Vette." She starts to bat her eyes like she's being coy with me. "Will you let me drive yours once in awhile?"

"Any time," I reply.

We're shamelessly flirting, and it feels good. I'm sure that my wide smile conveys that to everyone.

The time-consuming process of buying the car is forgotten by our young companion as soon as we go through the turnstiles to enter SeaWorld.

SeaWorld is a wonderful place, and Mac and Ty want to see every show and every animal here. I've been here before, but I find that looking at it with a seven-year-old makes it all new, and I enjoy myself as much as they do.

Since Mattie's out with Paul, we're in no hurry to get home, so we stay until an hour before Ty's bedtime. An hour should give us time to get home and go through the bath and bedtime routine before he crashes from his adventurous day.

Though we had a good time, the day has been taxing on a man of my age who got up before dawn to do an ocean swim. Of course, I don't feel too badly because my wife is out of energy tonight, too. I've seen her yawn a number of times, and she has a glazed look and is staring off into space as we sit on the couch in our pajamas, drinking some herbal tea while we wait for Mattie to get home from her date.

I take a sip of my tea. "Why don't you take your tea, go on upstairs and try to get to sleep? I'll wait up for her," I offer.

Mac gives me an odd look. "If one of us goes to bed now, it should be you. You were up before any of the rest of us," she counters.

"I'll admit that I'm tired, but it's a good kind of tired. I had a good time today, so I'm feeling very relaxed and I know that, when I do get to bed, I'll sleep like a baby. So you can go upstairs. It's okay."

"No, I want to wait with you."

I think we must have nodded off because, the next thing I know, Mattie's tapping my shoulder.

"Harm, Mac, you guys shouldn't have tried to wait up if you were so exhausted. Get up, go to bed and get some real sleep. I'll answer all the usual questions over breakfast in the morning."

I mumble, "Yeah, in the morning is good. Good night, Mattie." We each give her a hug before we all go upstairs to bed.

We get into bed and fall quickly back to sleep.

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

**OCEAN BEACH, CA**

Richard Sinclair had arrived earlier than usual. Moments after his arrival, a catered meal had been delivered. The meal had been wonderful and, for dessert, he'd ordered champagne and strawberries with whipped cream.

The romantic evening had made Jane feel like a woman in one of the romance novels that she'd read.

He'd promised to celebrate with her after he'd made an arrest in the case that he'd been investigating, and he had. She curled up against his back before falling asleep.

**SUNDAY, APRIL 30, 2006**

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

As the Rabb family enjoyed sleeping in an hour or so longer than they did during the week, Jane awoke alone in bed. Lying in bed, the smell of his cologne from last night still lingering on the pillows, Jane remembered the romance of the evening. It had been the most wonderful evening that they'd ever had. It was only moments later as her eyes met with the empty space next to her on the bed that Jane began to reflect.

She reflected on her relationship with Rich for the first time. Really, prior to then, she'd simply accepted what he'd offered and had been happy to have his attention. This morning, alone with her thoughts, she realized that he'd never said that he loved her when she'd voiced her love for him. Whenever he saw her at lunch at Stoli's on Tuesdays or on Saturday at her apartment, for that matter, he never said that he'd missed her. He never came over any night except Saturday and he never stayed to have breakfast with her on Sunday morning.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

I sleep in a little bit this morning and wake with Mac nestled in beside me. I give her a good morning kiss, dress for a run and leave her to get ready for the day.

I leave the condo and head out on my morning run. I must say that the ocean swim yesterday morning has made my upper body a little sore, but the knee seems to be doing okay. I'll keep it to the three and a half miles of the past week, but tomorrow, I plan to up the distance to five miles. I thought about doing five miles today, but we're going more places today as a family, and I don't want to risk being as tired tonight as I was last night.

Besides, after Mac gets dressed, she'll go downstairs to make her French toast for breakfast. I don't know if it's really the French toast that I'm so fond of, though it is pretty good, or if I like Sunday breakfast so much because we're all together.

When I get back from my run, I open the front door to the smell of cinnamon and coffee. It's a smell that I associate with the Rabb farm. Grandma's place always smells like she's just finished baking something.

Mac must hear me come through the door, because she yells out. "A military shower, mister. Everyone is already up and waiting for you, so you've got five minutes before chow call."

"Yes, ma'am," I reply and head upstairs, taking them two at a time.

True to her word, over breakfast, Mattie fills us in on the movie that she saw with Paul last night, where they ate, and she even talks a little about her day at the gallery. Mattie also asks what we've got planned to do today before dinner at Mom's.

I'm pleased as punch to learn that, because school is starting tomorrow, the usual Sunday swim date is off and Mattie wants to go with us.

After breakfast and dishes, the first stop for the day is the mall. Mac has decided that Ty needs a new outfit for at least the first day at his new school.

Mall shopping with Mac and Mattie isn't a new experience for me, so I'm prepared for it this time. We leave the mall several hours later for a restaurant to have some lunch. Mattie shopped very little. She found one outfit that she liked, and Mac was more than happy to buy it for her. Mac, on the other hand, was a little more enthusiastic with her shopping.

Ty got, not one, but five new outfits for school, one for each day of his first week. I suggested that he wear one new outfit a week for five weeks, and that got me a strange look from Mac. I guess Ty can decide if he wants to wear them all the first week or not. Mac ended up with no new clothes, but a new pair of shoes…just what she needed.

After a nice lunch, it was off to the Family Fun Center. It's miniature golf, arcade and go carts for the rest of the afternoon.

We went back to the condo to freshen up a bit, drop off the purchases, and check to make sure that uniforms and school outfits were ready for tomorrow before heading to Mom's for dinner.

After dinner, we return to the condo and, along with the game of cards that Ty's chosen as his after dinner activity, we review the schedule for tomorrow with him. Mac will take him to school for his first day, Grandpa will pick him up, and then Mac will pick him up at Grandpa's on her way home from work like she's been doing.

After Ty's usual tucking in routine and saying good night to Mattie, Mac and I head to our room. We make love and snuggle up for another night of restful sleep.

The past couple of weeks, Harm had experienced a rocky start at his new duty assignment, but nothing more. However, there was more going on at NCIS than anyone suspected.

Since January, when Special Agent Sinclair hadn't received his promotion, he'd been guilty of making costly errors in pursuing investigations. He'd been slipping in the area of team leader as well. His agents had been turning in sloppy work, and Sinclair had been letting them slide. His team was coming apart, but no one had seemed to notice. Sinclair had never been a man of the highest caliber, but since January, he'd changed as a human being. It had been one such change that had prompted an agent on his team to come forward and report what he knew from first hand experience. He'd then added some speculation and rumors that he'd heard as a way to reinforce his belief that team two was going to implode if something wasn't done.

Starting tomorrow, Harm would learn that he wasn't part of the problem, but rather part of the solution in bringing NCIS back into order.

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

**NEAR MIDNIGHT**

The realizations about her relationship, or lack thereof with Richard Sinclair, had swarmed around in Jane's head for most of the day and, by day's end, she'd come to the conclusion that Rich was using her. He'd used her loneliness to worm his way into her heart. At work, she'd never done anything for him except do a test for a case that he was working before doing a test for someone who'd sent in the request earlier, but she felt deceived and used just the same. More than that, she felt stupid for not seeing it sooner, thus leaving her feeling more alone than she'd ever felt before.

**MONDAY, MAY 1, 2006**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

There's a different feeling in the house this morning as everyone goes about the morning routine of getting ready to leave for the day. We're calm and organized, but Ty's a little nervous about his first day at a new school where he doesn't know anyone. Instead of a quick goodbye and a hug, I take a few minutes to talk to Ty before I leave.

"I know how you feel. Remember, I just started at a new workplace a couple of weeks ago. It can be scary to go to someplace new and be around people you don't know. Mac's going to take you this morning, so that should make it a little easier for you. She couldn't come with me on my first day. You have to remember that, if no one talks to you at first, it's probably because they're as scared to talk to someone new as you are, but if you talk to them, I'm sure that you'll have at least one new friend by the end of the day."

"What if I don't have a new friend by the end of the day?" he asks with a quiver in his voice.

"Then there's always tomorrow." I smile. "If not today or tomorrow, then it'll be the next day, but it _will _happen."

"Can't I just go to work with you or Mac? I was good the last time. I can behave today, too," he begs.

"You know that it would be just putting it off. You have to go to school, and I don't think that we can keep it a secret from Miss Rosa that you aren't going to school."

"If I don't go to school, they won't let me live here," he says as he begins to understand.

"I don't think that they'd think that we were good parents for you if we didn't make sure that you went to school to get an education."

"Then I'll go 'cause I want to stay and live with you and Mac," he says with determination.

"We want that, too." We hug, and I leave for work.

**NCIS OFFICE**

**BEFORE THE MORNING MEETING**

After two weeks, I have a morning routine at the office as well. I go to my office first to leave my cover and the bulky briefcase, opting to take only a notepad and pen into the meeting.

I head to my office and receive the usual, "Good morning, Captain Rabb," from Petty Officer Burns, but she has more to say this morning. "Sir, Director Landon called this morning. He said to tell you that the regular morning meeting is cancelled. However, you're to report to Director Landon's office at the regular meeting time."

"Thank you, Petty Officer," I respond.

I enter my office, thinking, 'This can't be a good.'

I leave my office and stop to get a cup of coffee - part of my morning routine - on my way to Landon's office.

**DIRECTOR LANDON'S OFFICE**

I enter the outer office, and Landon's secretary waves me in. Once I've joined them, there are six people in the room. Landon, Vern and myself are with three serious looking people, two men and a woman.

During introductions, the three strangers are introduced as NCIS agents from the Internal Affairs Division. After introductions, we're asked to have a seat.

Landon begins, "Gentlemen, I've asked you here to fill you in on something that's going on behind the scenes that will involve your participation."

Landon is silent for a few moments. I think that this is going to be worse than I'd thought. He seems to have gathered his thoughts or emotions and he begins to speak again.

"In my office a week ago last Friday, I had a member of team two come to see me about procedures not being followed and paperwork not being completed or checked by the agent in charge. I don't believe in calling in the big guns unless it's necessary, and I asked agent O'Malley to look into some of the concerns that the agent, who shall remain anonymous to everyone except me for their protection, brought to my attention."

Landon pauses again. "After Agent O'Malley reported to me early this morning, I felt that I had no choice but to call in Internal Affairs. Vern, you want to hit the highlights for them?"

"Trying to hold a quiet and quick investigation of the accusations, I didn't speak with anyone on team two directly, as that would have raised red flags. I knew if I found anything on paper that it would be something that IA would prefer to do without wondering if I'd tainted the statements. I had two members of my team look over the case reports of both teams one and two. We found nothing in the records of team one except for a couple of typos. I can't say that about team two's reports. We found no inconsistencies in case summary reports or arrest records until late March of this year. One file, concerning the Emerson case, seems to be missing." He looks at the IA agents. "I have everything that I've discovered in a file in my office."

The agents nod, and Landon begins to speak again. "Captain Rabb, I'm sure that you're wondering why you're here on an internal matter like this."

"Yes, sir. It had crossed my mind."

"Because, Rabb, I'm not willing to put an agent who's been here for ten years with a good record on the firing line for paperwork errors. However, I'm not willing to risk losing a case or sacrificing the integrity of this office for a burned out or bitter agent. I'm not pulling Sinclair out of the field just yet, but I want you to be his shadow when it comes to paperwork. I don't care if you have him report to you every fifteen minutes or if you move to a desk across from him. I just want every 'I' dotted, every 't' crossed and the letter of the law followed in every case. He doesn't get a warrant or make an arrest until you personally give him the green light. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. I hear from Vern that you and Sinclair aren't very fond of each other, but I don't care about likes and dislikes as long as it doesn't interfere with the job. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'll be informing Agent Sinclair of his new reporting procedure in a meeting with him shortly. For the time being, this investigation will be listed as an audit of procedures for possible improvements and an implementation of new rules and regulations. I don't want the fact that we're investigating him to leave this room. Is that understood?"

After getting our agreement that the true purpose of this meeting is to be kept confidential, we're told that the IA agents will be introduced as efficiency experts to those outside this room. They'll take today to mingle among team members, ask a few questions and check other team records in an effort to keep their true purpose from getting out too soon.

After our briefing, Vern and I are dismissed.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**LATE AFTERNOON **

It's been a strange day. Agent Sinclair came by to pay me a visit before lunch. He wasn't happy about the change in operations. From the sound of it, Landon told him that it was part of the proposed procedure changes and that he and his team would be handling a trial run of the new plan.

I take it that Landon didn't tell him about the errors found in his paperwork either. Vern, having announced in the morning meeting that he had two agents reviewing team one and two's case reports, Landon can't mention what they found without implicating Vern. He's trying to protect Vern from Sinclair, too.

I'm sitting at my desk, staring at the paperwork from the drug arrest that Sinclair made at the end of last week. Landon had it sent to me to review. I'm probably as unhappy about this new assignment of approving Sinclair's every move as he is with having to report to me. I take that back. Sinclair is absolutely going to _hate_ this arrangement, and that brings some comfort to me.

I read over the arrest report and look for the recap by his backup that night. This file seems to be missing that report. The possible reasons for why the report is missing: he didn't have backup, his backup hasn't filled out his paperwork, or it has mysteriously disappeared. I make a note about the missing report. I'll look over the entire file to see if there's anything else missing so that I can search for all the documents at once.

I'm about to finish reading the last page in the folder that I was given on the drug arrest when Petty Officer Burns buzzes me. I have a visitor, Travis Tucker, head of records.

Ten minutes later, when Mr. Tucker leaves my office, I have the Emerson folder, literally the manila file folder where the ballistics report belongs that I found in another case file, but nothing else. Mr. Tucker handed me a dirty file folder and talked for ten minutes. He explained that the folder, labeled EMERSON, was found, just as I see it, underneath the bottom drawer of a file cabinet, but nothing was inside the folder. Apparently, I have the only surviving piece of Master Chief Emerson's case file, the ballistics report.

I spend the rest of the day chasing agents and paperwork. I go to Sinclair to find out who his backup agent was and I go to that agent to find out where the missing report is. He tells me that he'll bring it to my office after the meeting in the morning.

My trip to records isn't much easier on me. I talk to a twenty-something blonde, wearing a very short skirt...or having very long legs - I'm married, not dead - named Monica. My question to her is: 'Can files be recreated from a name or a date?'

Monica informs me that, if the date has been within the last year, since the system upgrade, a date and name can pull up reports, but you have to go to the individual department: the lab, ballistics, etc. So even though it may be possible, it would be a difficult and time consuming project.

Monica seems eager to help me and sits down at a computer station. "I'll show you how to do it. Give me the date and name, and I can pull up the arrest record from here."

I must say that I'm momentarily distracted by the view that I have from above of the young woman's cleavage. I know that I have it bad for Mac because, though Monica's blouse gives me a good view, I look for only a moment and determine that Mac's are bigger and I'm easily able to get back on track. "The date on the case is 25 March of this year, and the name is Emerson, Master Chief Robert Emerson."

I'd swear that I hear Monica take in a sharp breath like she'd just been punched in the stomach before she makes a few key stokes on the keyboard before looking up at me. "I'm sorry. The system's running slow. I tell you what. It's almost quitting time. I'll make it my first job in the morning and bring it to your office. How's that?"

"That'll be fine. Thank you."

I leave the records department, wondering how people like Monica and the agent to whom I'd talked earlier can sound so helpful and not give me any help.

I'd thought that Monica was trying to just get rid of me, but when I get back to my office and take a look at the time, I could be wrong. It is quitting time. I need to quit being so suspicious of everyone around here.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

The evening at the Rabb home is routine, but with new topics for dinner conversation. Mattie fills in everyone on her first day back at school. Ty fills in everyone on his first day at his new school and his new friend, Jason.

While Harm and Mac enjoyed family time before going to bed and enjoying each other, a meeting was taking place between Monica and Richard Sinclair.

"Monica, you need to calm down."

"I can't, Richie. I'm scared. You told me that you'd made a mistake in the file and you ask me to get rid of it for you. I knew that if I shredded it, someone might miss it sooner or later. If the file was found at the bottom of a file cabinet, people would just say that it got pushed off the top of the cabinet and wouldn't think anything about it. I knew that you wanted it empty, so I took two of the reports and stuffed them into other folders. I shredded the rest of the papers and pushed the empty folder under the bottom file drawer. I'm not going to be in trouble for helping you, am I?"

"Don't worry. As long as you don't tell them that you purged the file, they won't be able to trace it back to you. You have too many people in your department for them to think that it was you unless you say something. I will say that it comes at a bad time, though, with all of those efficiency people around, but that's why we've been keeping our relationship a secret, right?"

She nods. "I haven't even told my mother. Of course, part of that's because she wouldn't approve. With you being thirty-five and me being twenty-four, she'd say that you were after only one thing."

"Well, you know better than that, don't you?"

"I guess so."

"What do you mean you guess so?"

"Rich, let me stay with you at your place tonight."

"Don't start that. I'm not involved with anyone else. I'm an agent and, sometimes, like with this drug dealer who I just busted, they threaten to seek revenge. I don't want to risk you getting hurt because they're after me. I'm just trying to keep you safe, but I'll come to your place and spend the night there if you want me to."

Richard Sinclair was lying in bed next to Monica, a young woman with a great body, and the fact that he could get a woman like her fed his ego. 'Monica's mother is wrong,' he thought. 'A man doesn't have to be older to want sex, and sometimes he wants something else, too, like for her to get rid of an incriminating file.'

Rich didn't know what he was going to do about reporting to Rabb about every little thing, but he could do anything for a short period of time. When this inspection and trial period on new procedures was over, he could get back to ousting Michaels and taking over team one. In the meantime, he needed to keep the ladies in his life happy so that, if he needed them, they'd help him or take the blame.

He'd just gotten Monica back on board and he'd romanced Jane this past Saturday. He'd shown up at her door earlier than usual with a catered dinner, candlelight, champagne, and strawberries with whipped cream for dessert. Jane was plain and thirty-two. He was sure that, with a little romance, she'd kill for him. Sinclair was proud of that fact, but really hoped that he didn't have to arrange for Rabb to have an accident of some sort to be rid of him.


	89. Chapter 89

**PART TWO – No Place Like Home...Or Hotel**

**TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2006 **

**NCIS CONFERENCE ROOM **

**START OF THE MORNING MEETING**

I usually arrive just prior to the director for the morning meeting, but today, I'm not the last one in the room. This morning, it's Jane who enters last. In fact, another few moments and she would have been entering after the director.

I wonder if Jane is over that bug that she had last week, because she looks pale and tired. When she sits down, she doesn't look at anyone. She merely takes her seat and waits for Landon to begin the meeting.

**END OF THE MEETING**

During the meeting, I noticed some demeanor changes in Jane. She never looked up from her notepad. She didn't even offer Rich a sideways glance when he gave his report.

**LAB OFFICE **

**A FEW MINUTES LATER **

The lab office is enclosed with a half wall with glass panels the rest of the way up, so I can see that Jane is in.

The door is open, and I rap on the frame. "Jane, can I speak to you for a few minutes?"

"Captain Rabb, come in. What can I do for you?"

"Several things, actually. First, I'd like to know if you can pull up any lab information on a case for a file that I need to recreate."

"I can. If you have a case number or a date and a name, it won't take me but a minute. With less information, it'll take a lot longer."

"I have a date and a name. In fact, the case number may be on the ballistics report that I already have."

"It should be. If you have it with you, let me take a look." I hand her a copy of the report. I've put the original in a safe place while I piece things together. "Yeah, right were it should be." She pulls a pen from a cup on her desk. I find that it's a highlighter as she rubs the tip over a number in the left hand corner. "With this number, you can access it with just a couple of clicks and pull up the report faster." She puts down the highlighter and swivels her chair to place herself in front of her computer. Her fingers move over her keyboard and, in just a few seconds, she asks, "It's on the screen. Do you need it printed?"

"Yes, please," I reply politely. A moment later, I hear the sound of a printer come to life.

"It'll take it a minute. I'm sure that you can tell by the noise that it's making that it isn't one of those fast, new, quiet printers. You said that there were several things. What else?" Her voice doesn't convey happiness, but it also doesn't match the sadness that I see in her eyes.

"That's the only work related item. However, I wanted to ask you more of a personal question, if I may."

'He knows that I'm the one who spoke to Landon,' she thinks immediately, and butterflies flutter in her stomach. "I guess."

"You don't seem like the same woman who I met a few weeks ago. I wanted to know if you're feeling better and, if you aren't, is there anything that I can do for you?"

"I'm not a hundred percent yet, but I'm getting there. Thanks for asking."

"No problem. If you think of a way that I can be of any help, let me know," I say sincerely.

The printer stopped humming. "For now, Captain, you can take your report and let me get back to work."

I turn and take the report from the printer, waving it in the air before slipping it between the pages of my notepad with the other report. "Thanks, I'll see you at the meeting in the morning."

She forces a smile. "You're welcome," she says.

As Harm left her office, the butterflies that Jane had felt were replaced with a sense of guilt for thinking badly of him. This man barely knew her, but he'd sounded genuinely concerned. Why couldn't she find a man like that?

**HALL NEAR THE RECORDS DEPARTMENT**

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**

Monica was coming back from taking some files to the 'efficiency people' when she saw Captain Rabb headed towards her department. To avoid him, she ducked into the restroom.

'I'll have to avoid Rich for the rest of the day, too,' she thought, since he'd asked her to delete the arrest report from the system, and she hadn't done it yet. She hadn't expected Rabb to come down here, at least not so early in the morning since she'd told him that she'd bring it to him after the morning meeting.

She'd had other staff members around this morning and hadn't been able to get a moment of privacy to delete the report, and then she'd been asked to take some files to the 'efficiency people' and now she knew that it was too late. Rich wasn't going to be pleased with her about this.

**RECORDS DEPARTMENT**

**MOMENTS LATER**

"Sir, how may I help you?" a young man asked.

"I was expecting a report in my office this morning, but it hasn't arrived yet. I was hoping that you'd be able to print a copy for me now so that I can get to work."

"Sure thing. Do you have the case number or a date and name?"

"I have it all." I hand him a piece of paper with the information on it.

"Great, makes my job easy."

The young man turned and moved his fingers over a computer keyboard. A few moments later, he was reaching under the counter, pulling the printed document from the printer tray and handing it to me with a big smile. "Anything else, sir?"

"No, thank you," I say, pleased to have the report now, but wondering why the woman I spoke to yesterday hadn't been able to be as efficient.

**JANE'S OFFICE **

**LUNCHTIME**

Jane had managed to stay busy all morning. Anytime that she'd taken even a moment away from her work to use the ladies room, for example, she'd been pummeled with emotions: anguish over her decision to end her relationship with Rich and heartbreak over the loss of a man whom she'd never really had. She'd been plagued with those feelings all day yesterday, but this morning after Captain Rabb had come to see her, she'd added a new one: guilt.

Even though this morning's interaction with Captain Rabb had been brief, her mind was clearer than it had been in months. He wasn't the kind of man who would cheat on his wife. Feelings of stupidity began to rise within her as she chastised herself for letting a man take away her own good judgment. She couldn't believe that she'd allowed Rich to prod her into going to Landon with nothing more than what she'd seen that day.

She was taking another moment away from work to eat her lunch. She sat at her desk and pulled out the brown paper bag in which she'd brought her lunch. As she unrolled the top, she thought of the wonderful memory that Rich had left her with on Saturday.

That night is how she wanted to remember him. He'd been romantic and sweet. When they'd gone to bed, he'd been more gentle and caring as a lover. It had been the perfect way to say goodbye. She hadn't seen or talked to Rich since Saturday night and she really didn't want to see him because she was afraid that it would only spoil the fantasy ending.

For a moment, she let herself wonder if Rich would show up at the deli today, expecting to see her there. If he showed, would he be upset? Would he be angry because she hadn't followed his 'order' to meet him at the time and place that he'd commanded...or be worried and come looking for her? Letting him go was the hardest thing that she'd ever had to do, and she hoped that she'd survive the pain of her decision, but she believed that she was making the right one.

**THE LAB**

**AFTER LUNCH**

Jane sensed it when he entered the lab. Here it was, the moment that she'd been dreading. Could she look into his eyes and not melt into a puddle of compliant goo?

"Jane, I need to speak with you about a lab report that I've misplaced. Finish whatever you're doing. I'll be waiting in your office so that you can print a new copy for me."

Jane thought, 'He's going to make this easy on me.' His curt and demanding tone fed her belief that she'd be better off alone than with him. 'Maybe I should get a cat for company,' she thought before turning to the new lab employee next to her. "Finish setting up the samples while I get rid of this agent. I'll be back in a moment to confirm your findings and sign off on your results."

Jane entered her office and found Rich sitting at her desk, using her computer. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting the report that I came for." He paused. "Why didn't you show for lunch?"

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"I celebrated with you like I promised. Work comes first and then us. I thought you understood that."

"The problem isn't your job. It's me. I've been thinking about what I need. I need someone who stays for breakfast," she said with an exasperated sigh. Of course, it wasn't really that simple, but she wasn't going to have this conversation at work.

"I see. So I'm out just like that ... no warning, no chance to make a change? I don't think that's fair." Rich finally made eye contact with Jane, but it was a calculated move so that she wouldn't question his sincerity. "This isn't the place to talk about it. I'll come by tonight, and we'll talk about it then."

Rich hit another button on her computer keyboard before standing and moving around the desk towards her. That's when Jane saw what was on the screen for a split second, but too quickly for her to be able to read the small print from her doorway. However, the box that appeared a second later was larger, and she could read it just fine: 'File Deleted.'

The printer hadn't hummed. He hadn't come to get a copy of a lost report. He'd come here to delete a report. She'd given him her password so that he could pull up reports that he'd come to get so he wouldn't have to wait until they were delivered upstairs.

He patted her arm on his way out the door. "I'll see you tonight, Jane."

She nodded because she couldn't think of anything to say to him. All of a sudden, she was feeling sick to her stomach. Add another emotion to her growing list: betrayal.

Jane didn't tell the departing Sinclair that she had no intention of being home this evening, but she didn't have many friends and certainly no one with whom she felt comfortable enough to show up on their doorstep and spend the evening.

It took only a few moments for her to make the decision to leave work early, go to her apartment and pack an overnight bag. She'd check into a hotel for a couple of nights.

She hoped that, with the change in environment and away from the memories of their times at her apartment, she'd be able to plan how to get away from him without losing a job that she really enjoyed.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**LATE AFTERNOON**

I've just returned from trying to make contact with Sinclair's backup in the drug case, but found that he hadn't come into work today. I'll have to see him tomorrow right after the morning meeting.

I've been able to get reports from all of the departments to recreate Master Chief Emerson's case.

I've also requested the agent's notes, but no luck there.

*********FLASHBACK TO MID-AFTERNOON TODAY*********

"Sinclair, I'm trying to recreate the Emerson file. According to the reports of which I've been able to get copies, you were the agent of record. I need whatever you have on the case."

"Look, Rabb, I know that you're my watchdog for the next few weeks or a month while we go through this efficiency crap, but the Emerson case has already gone to trial and it's a closed book. I'm not required, nor am I going to answer to you for any completed cases."

"The case file was lost, and the case isn't that old. If he appeals, and we can't provide the information that was the basis for his arrest, he'll walk. So this has nothing to do with possible new procedures that we're trying out. This is my job - to make sure that the convictions hold up."

*********END FLASHBACK*********

My eyes are crossing from the number of things that I've had to read today concerning the Emerson case and other matters. I look at my watch, 1553 - close enough to 1600. I'm calling it a day. I need to recharge my batteries, and there's no place like home to do that.

**HILTON HOTEL HARBOR ISLAND**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

Jane sat on the bed in the soft, fluffy robe that she'd found in the bathroom.

She'd always wanted to stay at one of these 'spoil the guest' kind of hotels along San Diego Bay.

She didn't know why she'd decided to do it now, but she sure liked it so far.

She'd booked time in the spa for tomorrow after deciding that there was no time like the present to begin to treat herself better. She had plenty of vacation and sick time on the books, so she'd call in sick tomorrow. She was sure that, in these lavish surroundings, she'd get her wits about her and she'd be returning to work on Thursday, feeling and looking like a new woman. She might even go to the beauty salon and have her hair cut and styled sometime tomorrow.

She'd always saved her money, but this felt so good that she decided that, once a year from now on, she'd treat herself to a weekend of this kind of pampering.

**JANE'S APARTMENT**

**NEAR 2300**

Richard Sinclair knocked for the second time this trip.

This was the third time that he'd been by here tonight. He couldn't believe that she still wasn't home. He'd tried to call, but had gotten no answer. Where could she be? He had to see her. He had to placate her so that she'd continue to help him reach his goal. He was going to be the leader of team one. He had to take it away from Michaels. He needed the job. Michaels had everything else. He didn't need the job, too.

Tears formed in the corners of Rich's eyes at the pain that his internal ranting had brought to the surface. All he had was his job after losing the love of his life eight years ago. He'd never let another woman have his heart that way. She'd had his heart and she'd chosen someone else. He willed the tears away.

Now he just used women as a means to an end, whether it was to improve his standings at the office for the coveted leader of team one position or simply to get laid when he needed it. The best women to have were the ones who could serve him in both areas.

He knocked again. Still no answer. Where was she? With no idea where to look for her, Rich left her apartment building.

He thought about calling Monica, but he needed to go home tonight. He needed a plan. He needed to get back in Jane's good graces, but without exposing their relationship so that Monica wouldn't find out that he was seeing someone else.

Nothing, at least not yet, had come from Jane's report to Landon about Rabb, and he needed a plan for that, too.

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 3, 2006**

Jane woke up refreshed, having slept well. She made her call to skip work and spent the rest of the day taking advantage of many of the services available to the guests of this marvelous hotel.

By Wednesday evening, Jane would think that there was no place like a fancy hotel to give a woman a fresh outlook on life.

Jane's day of 'finding herself again' gave her strength, and tomorrow when she went to work, she'd try to right the wrongs that she'd done and lighten her guilty conscience.

Jane's absence at the morning meeting confused Rich. Jane wasn't the type not to come to work. He couldn't say anything to the director because he didn't want to raise suspicions since he wasn't exactly known for showing concern for his co-workers.

After the meeting, he had to do some leg work on a case. He'd swing by Jane's and see her while he was out.

Jane had never given him a key. The apartment manager lived in apartment number one, but Rich didn't want to have any witnesses to him having been here, so he picked her lock.

He searched her apartment. There was nothing out of place, nothing that suggested a struggle. Where was she?

He'd have thought that she'd met with foul play except that, at the morning meeting, Landon had said, "Jane called. That bug that she's been dealing with has her feeling too under the weather to join us today, so if anyone has concerns about lab results, I'll make note of them and get back to you as soon as I can."

'Landon or his secretary must have talked to her,' he thought.

Rich left Jane's apartment and returned to his office with no answers, only more questions.

However, not knowing what was going on was something that he wasn't used to, and the need to find answers ate at him. Just before lunch, he couldn't take it anymore.

He went to the receptionist's desk in the lobby to make a casual inquiry.

There was a woman at the desk. 'Good,' Rich thought. 'A little small talk and a few compliments, and she'll tell me if she took the call this morning from Jane.'

Whether it was the small talk and compliments or just the personable nature of the middle-aged woman whom he was asking, Rich would get answers. Unfortunately for Sinclair, the receptionist was in the gossip loop.

After several minutes of 'warm up' conversation, Sinclair ventured to get to the point of his visit. "I know that you're busy and I've already taken up too much of your time. I did come down here to ask you a question or two for Mr. Landon, so I guess I'll get to hear your sweet voice for a little longer." She smiled at him. "Mr. Landon wanted to know if you personally took the call from Jane Sampson when she called in saying that she was feeling ill and wouldn't be in today."

"Agent Sinclair, I put Miss Sampson through to Mr. Landon's secretary. You didn't have to beat around the bush like that. I'm sure that you're very worried about Jane and your baby. She sounded a little tired, but other than that, I didn't get the idea that she was really sick. I don't know how far along she is, but it's probably just morning sickness. Try not to worry."

Richard Sinclair was frozen in place and didn't see the horrible look of betrayal and anger that came across Monica's face.

Monica had been ready to face Sinclair after not deleting the file in time to keep it from Rabb and was standing off to one side and slightly behind Rich, waiting to ask him if he wanted to go to lunch when she heard what the receptionist said to him.

"You said that seeing her was just a rumor." Rich spun around at the sound of Monica's voice. She put her hands on her hips. "You can't get pregnant from a rumor." She started to tap her foot angrily. "How long have you been seeing both of us?"

She paused to wait for an answer, but she was rewarded with only a deer-in-the-headlights look from him.

"I'll tell you what. I'm so upset and embarrassed right now that I don't even want to know. You just run off with the mother of your child and don't ever call me again!"

Rich's personal life had just started to crumble. Unbeknown to him, tomorrow, his work life would start to unravel, too.


	90. Chapter 90

**PART THREE – First Statement **

**THURSDAY, MAY 4, 2006 **

**IN HARM'S CAR **

As I'm driving to work this morning, my mind travels back to some of the events of yesterday.

After the morning meeting at NCIS, I'd gone to the JLS office to speak with the prosecution and defense counsel concerning the case of Master Chief Robert Emerson, which I didn't wrap up until lunchtime.

After lunch with Mac, when I'd shared my belief that Sinclair had arrested the wrong man in the chief's case, I'd headed back to my office to try to wrap up the drug case.

However, I was informed that the agent who'd been the backup on the drug bust was still 'in the field' as he has been for the last two days, according to his team leader, Agent Sinclair.

I'm getting stonewalled and I don't like it.

During a brief meeting with Director Landon about mid-afternoon yesterday, I listened while Landon left a message on both the agent's cell phone and home phone to be in his office at nine sharp this morning. Landon also made a call to Sinclair as well. He told Sinclair, 'If you hear from Agent McGraw, you tell him that he'd better be in my office in the morning. No excuse is acceptable.'

My need to have a complete file in the drug arrest case had Landon irritated at the lack of follow-through from his agents, especially given that, to their knowledge, efficiency experts on procedures were walking among them. However, by the end of our meeting, Landon was beet red from anger. He agreed with my assessment of the Emerson case and he has the same questions for Sinclair that I do.

**NCIS OFFICE **

**TODAY'S MORNING MEETING**

I listen to Michaels' concise and on-point report. He requests approval to arrest a suspect in an arson case. After hearing a recap of the case to refresh my memory and the results of the search from the warrant that I'd approved last Thursday, I give the legal nod, and the director signs off for him to make his arrest.

Sinclair's presentation is all over the place, and his clothes are mussed like he slept in them. As has become my custom while Sinclair is speaking, I look at Jane. She called in sick yesterday, but she's here this morning and looking refreshed and rested. She doesn't seem to be paying attention to Rich at all. Come to think of it, he entered a few moments after me, and she hasn't acknowledged him in any way...very interesting.

During Sinclair's presentation, he presents facts as he knows them to be in an assault case that is starting to look like it might be an attempted murder case. Two sailors, Petty Officers Fitzgerald and Wallace, got into an argument at the base bowling alley. Wallace left the establishment before MP's were called, so the lanes were once again as quiet as a bowling alley can get, and the employees assumed that the sailors were just blowing off steam and all was well. However, an hour or so later, Wallace was found beaten in the parking lot.

Before Sinclair turns the floor over to Vern, he adds as almost an afterthought, "And, Director Landon, I was unable to reach Agent McGraw yesterday."

O'Malley's presentation is a little longer than usual, but, from what he has to say, his team is working on a lot of cases. As I listened to O'Malley speak, I have no doubt that O'Malley's still a 'hot shot,' even if he isn't leading team one any longer.

Director Landon begins to conclude, "If there's nothing else..."

"Sir..."

"Yes, Jane. I must say that you're looking well today, and it's good to have you back. You have something to add?"

"Thank you, and yes, sir. I'm tired of the rumors around here, so I want to straighten out something right here in front of everyone so that the people who count hear it from me in its original form."

"Will it take long?"

"No, sir. First, let me start by addressing one of the aforementioned rumors. I am _not_ pregnant."

I see relief wash over Sinclair's face.

"Next, I want to apologize to Captain Rabb." I look at her with a puzzled expression as she continues, "I haven't been feeling well and haven't been quite myself lately. I'm the one who saw you at Stoli's with the petty officer and reported it."

I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. I'm trying to maintain eye contact with Jane, but Sinclair is fidgeting in his seat, and it's distracting.

"I hope you understand that it was never my intention to hurt you or your wife. I just made assumptions...assumptions that I shouldn't have made since I didn't know you, and I hope that you can forgive me someday," Jane finishes.

"I'm sure that you were just trying to do the right thing. It's okay. I understand, so no forgiveness is necessary. Just do me a favor and don't make assumptions next time, okay?"

"Thank you, Captain." She pauses. She looks at computer whiz, Maria Reyes and then to the director. "Sir, you need to have Mrs. Reyes check the computer in my office. On Tuesday, I'm sure that I deleted a file, but I don't know which one. I want you to know that, when I inadvertently deleted the file, I knew that I needed to take the time off to recover completely before returning to work. I can say with certainty that I'm feeling like myself again and I'm ready for duty if you decide to allow me to resume my work. However, if you think that some form of punishment is necessary, I understand."

After Jane finished addressing me, I began to watch Sinclair while Jane spoke, and he isn't happy. I think this 'confession' of Jane's signals that Jane has ended her relationship with him. I also have a feeling that Jane didn't delete anything, but she doesn't want to implicate Sinclair, which would be a way for her to show her love for him one last time. It would be romance novel sappy if it weren't so sad.

"Jane, I appreciate your candor, but I want to hear more before I pass judgment or dish out any punishment," Landon says.

"Yes, sir," she replies quietly.

"I think we should have the rest of this conversation in my office. Jane, Mrs. Reyes and Captain Rabb, if you'll join me in my office now, this meeting is dismissed. Agent Sinclair, you'd better reach agent McGraw this morning and have his ass as well as your own in my office ASAP."

"Yes, sir. If I can't reach him by phone, I'll send over a couple of agents to check on him."

Landon offered a nod and a snort as we all filed out of the conference room, some bound for Landon's office and some bound for other places.

**LANDON'S OFFICE**

We've all been given time to take a seat before Landon begins. "Let's make this easy. Since I hope that my other appointment will be here shortly, tell me why and how you deleted the file?"

"I didn't delete the file on purpose. I was talking to an agent who said that he needed a copy of a report, but I guess another report was on the screen and I wasn't paying enough attention and, somehow, deleted the file. I want Mrs. Reyes to check my computer and restore any files that she can find that I may have deleted by accident while I haven't been feeling well."

"Maria, why don't you go get started on that? I want a report in my hands on what was deleted no later than tomorrow by noon, but the sooner the better."

"Yes, sir," Maria Reyes says before leaving the room.

"Jane, I don't think that you're telling us the entire truth," I state. Vern's opinion is that Jane isn't a lair, and I believe that to be true, so she's going to have a difficult time trying to keep Sinclair out of this if I ask direct questions. "The problem with that story, Jane, is that, if you'd pulled up the report on your computer screen, then you'd know what report you deleted, even if it was by accident."

She looks at me, and I see terror in her eyes. She knows where I'm headed and she knows that she has to make a choice - continue to cover for Sinclair or tell the complete truth.

"I know that you're trying to do the right thing, but you need to think about what you're saying. An accidental deletion is an accidental deletion. It doesn't matter who did it. If the agent with whom you were speaking say dropped something that coincidentally hit the delete key, as unlikely as that is, it could happen and it would be an accident, so there's no need to protect the agent. Just tell us exactly what happened."

"What if it wasn't an accident?" she whispers.

"What do you mean that it wasn't an accident, Jane?" Landon asks.

"He deleted the file, but I'm sure that he used my log in and password to do it, so I wanted the file restored without anyone getting into trouble." She looks at me. "How did you know that it wasn't me?"

"Because you said that you wanted your computer checked in a room full of people who are paid to be curious. You could have gone to Mrs. Reyes' department and simply told her that you'd accidentally deleted a file when sneezing or something, and she would have restored it for you if she could. By asking her to check your computer, you hoped that she'd find something on her own that would lead us to him without you having to betray him...because you love him. It's Sinclair, isn't it?" I ask.

Jane's eyes fill with tears, and she only nods in the affirmative to my question.

We wait patiently for her to compose herself because what she has to say will be the first statement - on the record - against Sinclair.

Landon asks how long they'd been in a relationship. She responds that it started near Valentine's Day. "He asked me if I had any plans, and I said no. He said that he couldn't believe that an intelligent and attractive woman didn't have a date for the most romantic day of the year. He came to my apartment on the night of Valentine's Day with a single yellow rose and said that we had to be friends before he could take me out."

While filling us in on the relationship, we ask if Sinclair had ever asked her to do anything for him, for instance to hide evidence or to give a false report or anything that would taint an investigation of his or anyone else's. She says that she'd never done anything like that.

As she continues, it sounds as if she may have been wearing blinders for most of their relationship, but she wasn't completely in the dark.

"I never did anything illegal. I swear, but I don't know about the other woman or women. I saw him only on Tuesdays for lunch at Stoli's and Saturday nights. I'm sure that he wasn't sleeping alone on _all_ the other nights of the week. Two of the other rumors around here are that he's seeing Monica in records and Corrine in accounting. I didn't want to know, so I never asked him if it was true. If either one of them saw him on the nights when I didn't, perhaps he had them do things or used their computers to do things himself."

We're wrapping up the meeting when Agent Sinclair bursts through the door.

"Sinclair, you're out of line. Don't you ever barge into my office again!" Landon bellows.

"Sir, I..." he stammers. "...I had to. Agent McGraw is dead."

"Jane, why don't you take a long weekend ... but I want you in here on Monday right after the morning meeting so that we can discuss Mrs. Reyes' findings, okay?" Landon says calmly as he ushers Jane past Sinclair and out of his office.

"Yes, sir," Jane responds just a second before Landon closes the door.

Landon turns to Sinclair. "What in the hell happened?"

"I'm not sure, sir. I sent him home on Monday afternoon. He said that he had a headache. He didn't show up for work on Tuesday, so I told anyone who asked that he was out in the field. I figured that he was still sick. I got a little nervous when I couldn't reach him last night, but I knew that he wouldn't ignore messages from you. I figured that I'd talk to him after we met with you this morning. When he didn't show this morning, I sent two agents over to check his house. They called in and said that he was dead and asked for a crime scene team to respond. That's all I know right now."

"Rabb, buzz O'Malley and tell him to meet us out front. Sinclair, you go tell Pauline to have my car brought around."

"Yes, sir, but where are you going?" Sinclair asks, sounding a little alarmed.

"I want to see the crime scene first hand," Landon replies as if it's obvious.

"I'm sure that my guys will call in when they have something, sir. You don't need to go to the scene," Sinclair says somewhat nervously.

"Don't think I can handle it? I used to be a field agent, you know. Now quit dawdling and let's go! You, too, Rabb."

**LANDON'S OFFICE**

**LATE AFTERNOON**

Vernon O'Malley, Harmon Rabb and Director Landon have all been sitting around in silence for several minutes. They've just returned from Agent McGraw's home.

Landon leans forward, puts his forearms on his desk and lets out a sigh. "Vern, I hate to do this to you, but I can't have Sinclair's team on this, and I don't think that Michaels would be the best one to handle it either."

"So you want me on it?" Vern states like a question.

"You and Rabb," Landon replies.

"Jon, why me...why us?" Vern asks.

"For a number of reasons...first, because I trust both of you. I saw Rabb here in action this morning. He may be a lawyer, but he has a knack for reading people the way a good investigator does, so he'll be of help to you."

When he pauses, I inject, "Sir, Agent McGraw was found in his car in the garage. The ignition was on, but the car wasn't running. They figure that it ran until it was out of gas, which makes sense, considering that the approximate time of death was apparently sometime Monday night. He also left a note on his computer. Why do you think that anyone needs to investigator this? Why don't you think that it's the suicide that it appears to be?"

"See what I mean, Vern? He knows that I know something." He waits for Vern to give his non-verbal acknowledgment of his assessment of me before he speaks again. "If he weren't dead, I wouldn't tell you this, but Agent McGraw was the agent who came forward and questioned Sinclair's leadership and procedural practices as well."

"That's why you can't have Sinclair investigate. If he killed him, he'll chalk it up to suicide or drag out the investigation, and it'll stay on the books forever," Vern says.

"If you have Michaels investigate, their mutual dislike of each other will have Sinclair saying that Michaels framed him if Michaels finds anything," I add.

"There's another reason to have you two on this. You'll work well together," Director Landon states.

"Sir, I think that you should know that Sinclair and I don't get along either, so he could use the same 'framed story' with me on the case," I inform the director.

"I don't think that your reason for Sinclair disliking you could be as bad as the reason why Sinclair hates Michaels. Eight years ago, Michaels was dating one of the receptionists who worked in our lobby, and so was Sinclair. They each knew about the other, but when it came time for the lady to choose, she chose Michaels. She quit working here, and she and Michaels married. Sinclair said that he was okay with it and, for years, he's been fine, but when Michaels was promoted to leader of team one, I think that was the last straw. To Sinclair, Michaels has everything that he ever wanted. I knew that there'd be tension, but Rich seemed to be okay. I'm wondering now if he's been slowly slipping into an unbalanced mental state as the knowledge that he'll never have what Michaels does began to sink in, slipping so slowly and subtly that it's gone undetected and cost the life of the one person who did notice, Agent McGraw. I'm sure that, if he made a pass at your wife, Sinclair dislikes you because you have someone whom he can't have, but it wouldn't be enough of a reason to convince anyone that you framed him because of it. Unless he had an affair with your wife, I'm not concerned about you being accused of framing him. So tell me, Captain, did he ever sleep with your wife?"

"No, sir."

"Good. I'm going to put guards on the morgue. I don't want anyone except the ME to go near the body until the autopsy is completed. Vern, you two can go to your office and make that blasted list of things to do that you make, and let me know when you have something."

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

When we got to our room this evening, I made the first move. I pulled her to me and tried to be more gentle and caring in making love to her than ever before. I don't know yet if Sinclair killed the agent or not, but, if he did, I can't be sure that he won't kill again and, if he _is_ suffering from some kind of mental deterioration, no one can predict who his next target will be.

Mac is asleep in my arms. As slowly and quietly as possible, I slip from bed and put on a robe before leaving our room.

I find myself at Mattie's door first. I turn the knob and look in at her while she sleeps. I don't stay long, but I observe that, even though she may be just months away from being eighteen, asleep, she looks as peaceful as a young child. I quietly pull Mattie's door closed and go to check on Ty.

Ty's door is open, and I walk into his room. I sit on the edge of his bed and watch him sleep for a few minutes. I might have stayed longer, but I feel Mac's presence and look up just before her hand touches my shoulder. She bends to whisper in my ear. "What's wrong?"

I take her hand in mine, stand and walk us back to our room.

I admire her middle-of-the-night mussed hair and robe look. "Is there ever a time when you aren't beautiful?" I ask as I pull her into my arms.

My question brings a slight blush to her cheeks. "Flattery is sweet, but it isn't getting you out of answering my question. What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as I grip her a little tighter. "An agent's body was found today. It looks like a suicide, but we can't be sure until the autopsy is completed." I pause. "Mac, promise me that you'll stay on full alert until I tell you otherwise."

"Harm, if this agent didn't die by his own hand, who's the suspect who has you worried about me?"

"Not just you, Ty and Mattie, too. If he killed him, there's no way to tell if he'll kill again or who his next target might be. Thinking logically, his target should be Michaels, but he might go after Jane, Vern or myself. There's just no way to predict it since we think that, if he killed an agent on his own team, he may not be mentally stable."

"Who am I suppose to be looking out for? Who might want to kill or hurt those other people or you or your family?"

"Special Agent Richard Sinclair. Promise me that you'll be careful!"

She puts her palms on my cheeks and pulls my face towards her. She gives my lips a little peck. "I promise. I don't want to learn what it would be like to live without you, so promise me that you'll be on the alert, too."

"I promise."

She kisses me again. This time, it isn't a peck, but a gentle kiss.

Our lips part, and she says, "We can't be on full alert if we're too tired. Let's get back in bed and get some sleep, Sailor."

We get into bed and snuggle into our 'falling asleep' position, and I tighten my hold on her.

"After spending this last month here with you, I don't know if I could live without you." I place a kiss on her forehead.

"Harm, I want to tell you something now so that, if anything ever happens to me, I won't go to my grave with two regrets. I may have made some bad choices in my life, but all of my experiences have made me the woman who I am now and, for that, I can have no regrets about the past. I love you and I'm so grateful that I got to know what it was like to be loved by you. My only regret would be that I've never carried a child...that I haven't given you a child."

I tuck my finger under her chin to lift her face and place a tender kiss on her lips. "I love you. I guess my one regret would be that I didn't tell you that sooner."

We fall silent and lie together, wrapped tightly in each other's arms. Knowing that my Marine can handle herself makes me feel some better, but the knowledge that she'd protect our children at the cost of her own life doesn't leave me feeling good about the situation. I know that I'm letting my imagination run wild, but I can't lose what I've had for such a short time.

The last thought that I have before I finally drift off for a couple of hours of restless sleep is how much I need her.


	91. Chapter 91

**PART FOUR - Without More Evidence**

**FRIDAY, MAY 5, 2006**

No one questioned Landon's decision to cancel the morning meeting in light of Agent McGraw's death. However, the cancellation was a smoke screen of sorts. In place of the morning meeting, Vern, Landon and I are to meet with the Internal Affairs agents who are still poking around.

In Landon's office, while we await the arrival of the IA folks, Landon has news for us. After we left his office yesterday, he called in the FBI for help. An FBI medical examiner is beginning a complete autopsy on Agent McGraw as we're meeting. The other news is that all lab work needed in the McGraw case will be sent to the FBI crime lab for analysis, even the computer on which the alleged suicide note was typed is going to them. I gather from the way that Landon is talking that he firmly believes that McGraw's death was no suicide and doesn't want to take any chances that the killer won't be identified, even if that means having another agency take the reins or at least oversee the case.

IA is very interested in my take on the Emerson case and, along with the sloppy case work, the late, missing and misfiled reports, they're ready to pull in Sinclair and put him in the hot seat for a little Q&A.

Landon squashes the idea, stating that Agent McGraw was the agent who'd brought the issues to him, and Vern and I need time to speak to members of team two before they bring in their leader for questioning on what would be viewed as insignificant paperwork errors in comparison to losing a team member.

IA is more willing to back off when Landon explains that McGraw was the backup agent in a recent drug case _and_ in the Emerson case, and, because of that, we aren't certain that McGraw's death is what it appears to be and feel that any move against Sinclair would be seen as insensitive and might cause the team to close ranks.

With an agreement reached between Landon and IA, Vern and I go to work. I usually have some idea of how I want to approach an investigation, but as Vern and I plotted a course yesterday, I found that Vern has a knack for over-planning, if you ask me. However, the advantage is that we have a clear plan, including individual and group duties.

It may be the wrong choice, but Vern and I decided that we'd put the Emerson case on the back burner while we make inquiries into the McGraw matter. The Emerson case may be out of the spotlight, but it isn't forgotten. With Agent McGraw tied to both the recent drug arrest and the Emerson case, we feel that something in either or both of these cases may provide us with a motive for killing McGraw. I have a gut feeling that somehow the two cases are connected, but I don't know how yet.

First on the list this morning is for us to interview the three members of team two who saw Agent McGraw on Monday afternoon.

The stories that the two agents and Sinclair give us are pretty consistent. Agent McGraw had been rattled by my visit and my request for his report on the drug bust. Sinclair had suggested to McGraw that they go grab a cup of coffee and step outside to get some fresh air. When Sinclair had returned alone, he'd said that the fresh air hadn't helped McGraw's headache and that he'd told him to go on home.

In Sinclair's statement, he provided an outline of the conversation between him and McGraw that had transpired outside on Monday afternoon. "I told Doug to head home and get some rest. He asked what he was supposed to do about the report that Rabb was waiting for. I told him that I'd make sure that he got the time to write the report when he got back to work and not to sweat it."

The other information that Sinclair added of which the other two agents weren't aware is that Sinclair said that he went by McGraw's house after work that day. According to Sinclair's statement, Doug McGraw had said that he still wasn't feeling any better. He was going to take some migraine medication, get some sleep and said that he'd see him tomorrow. When he didn't show up on Tuesday morning, Sinclair said that he'd just assumed that he'd overslept because of the medication that he'd taken or that he wasn't feeling any better, so he'd covered for him the way that he'd told McGraw that he would.

After the interviews, Vern and I take time to review security video of the lobby and parking lot at NCIS to confirm what we've heard.

Sinclair and McGraw were seen leaving together with cups in their hands. Sinclair returned fifteen minutes later, alone.

Though we couldn't see the driver clearly, we also found a piece of footage that showed McGraw's car leaving the parking lot that was time stamped after Sinclair had reentered the lobby.

**INTERROGATION ROOM ONE**

**A PORTION OF OUR INTERVIEW WITH CONNIE, ****FROM ACCOUNTING**

"Yeah, I went out with Rich for about six months, give or take. I knew that he was dating women other than me and I was okay with it because I wasn't exclusive to him either. He was sweet and a good kisser, so I went along with Wednesday only dates with him until I met someone else. We're engaged now," Connie said with a smile and held up her left hand to show off her engagement ring.

"While you two were seeing each other, did he ask you for any favors? Ask you to delete an expense report from the system, for example, so that, if his account was audited, it wouldn't be able to be reconciled."

"He didn't ask me to do anything like that. I wouldn't have done it if he had." She pauses. "Since I don't know what you're really wanting to know, I don't know if this will help you any, but he thinks that his job is a little more cloak and dagger than most. When we were dating, he never took me to his place. He said that it was for my safety...didn't want some suspect coming after him and getting me instead. I might have thought that it was sweet, but he wouldn't even give me his address to mail him a Christmas card."

"So you dated him during the holidays last year. Did you to date into January?"

"Yeah, we dated until the first part of February. I met my fiancé at a New Year's Eve party. He didn't call me right away, but he did call a week or so later, and we went out on our first date in mid January. By the end of our second date a week later, I knew that he was the one. When he asked me out for Valentine's Day, I knew that he felt the same and I told Rich that it was over."

"Did Rich have a bad reaction to the break up?"

"No, he said that he understood and wished me luck. To tell you the truth, I think he was relieved. He'd lost the promotion to leader of team one a few weeks earlier, and having a night free gave him more time to put in at work so that, if the position came open again, he wouldn't get passed over a second time."

After concluding Connie's interview, we have Monica to interview.

**INTERROGATION ROOM ONE**

**AFTER CONCLUDING MONICA'S INTERVIEW**

As Vern and I compare notes on the interviews with the two ladies, we find that we've drawn the same conclusions. Connie was honest and gave us as much help as she could, given that she'd seen Richard Sinclair only about four times this year before she'd broken it off with him.

We're in agreement on Monica's interview, too. She's hiding something.

**LANDON'S OFFICE**

**JUST BEFORE LUNCH**

We're briefing Landon on our morning interviews when the buzz of the intercom cuts us off.

"Thanks, Pauline," Landon says before placing the receiver back in its cradle. "Gentlemen, it would seem that Mrs. Reyes is here with her report on Jane's computer."

Mrs. Reyes enters and passes us each a copy of her report. Her report has a staple in the upper left hand corner, so we know that it's going to be at least two pages long.

"Maria, I'm sure that your report is as excellent and as detailed as always, but can you give us an overview so that we can make some decisions? We'll refer to the report if we have a question before we call you back in on this."

She nods and begins. "I found one file deleted on Monday. The file was accessed using Jane's user name and password. In fact, I found that, in the last six months, three files have been deleted using Jane's name. I found reasons for the deletion of two files during the restoration process. Both files were deleted on the same day in December when we were preparing for the yearly download to the mainframe in Washington. I found that both files were still in the system. During the reloading process on the day before, she must have ended up copying the two files twice. When I tried to restore the two deleted files, both were already in the system. I checked dates and file size, etc. They were both exact copies of reports that were already in the system. She wasn't trying to remove files. She was merely deleting files that had been duplicated."

"What about the deleted file from Monday?" Landon asked.

"Sir, I don't know if it was Jane who deleted the file."

"You said that it was accessed with Jane's name and password," Vern states, confusion evident in his tone of voice.

"I did, sir."

"Since she admitted to accidentally deleting the file in yesterday's meeting, and you say that it was accessed by her, then why are you questioning that she's the one who deleted it?" Landon asks.

"It was accessed by her user ID and password, but the deletion of the file was no accident. It was deleted using an old administrative password. If I remember correctly, there are at least five keystrokes to deleting a file that way. Sir, we haven't used those old generic department assigned passwords since the system upgrade a year ago. I don't know if it'll help, considering that it could have been used by just about anyone, including Jane, but I will tell you that Jane deleted the other two files the way the upgraded system allows, two keystrokes and then a third to confirm the command. I'm trying to track down which department was assigned the password that was used, but I haven't had any luck with that so far."

"Maria, you said that two files were duplicates. The third report...were you able to restore it?" I ask.

"Yes, sir. The second page of my report is a copy of the report that was deleted, the lab report in the case of a Master Chief Robert Emerson."

"Good job, Maria. Thank you. Let me know when you find out which department that password was issued to," Landon says.

"Yes, sir."

After Maria left Landon's office, Vern verbalizes my thoughts with a question. "Does anyone want to make a bet that the password was issued to the records department?"

**LUNCHTIME **

Vern and I go to lunch together to discuss a couple of theories about the reasons for the deleted file.

The new facts that we have seem to support my theory that Sinclair or McGraw made an error in the Emerson case and that one or both of them were trying to cover it up. If McGraw made the error, his guilty conscience may have led him to commit suicide. On the other hand, if Sinclair made the error and McGraw was tired of covering up for him, it might be a motive for Sinclair to kill McGraw.

By the time lunch is over, Vern and I have agreed that we need to wait for more pieces of the puzzle to come in before questioning anyone else. As much as we want to get Sinclair out of NCIS if he's a danger to himself or others, without more evidence, we're doing a disservice to our primary duty of running our own teams. For now, we need to wait for more evidence and keep things in our own houses squared away.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**MID AFTERNOON**

Agent Sinclair walks in and drops a file down on my desk before plopping himself down in a chair and making himself comfortable.

I'm now wary of Sinclair for more than personal reasons, so to take my eyes off of him to look at what he dropped on my desk is against my better judgment, but I have to know which file is going to be the topic of this afternoon's discussion.

A summary report, which is paper clipped to the outside of the folder, stares up at me.

Sinclair is sitting with his shoulders square and proud across from me as he speaks. "Since I have to get your approval for every little thing that I do right now, I'm here to tell you that I want to arrest Fitzgerald this afternoon so that I can wrap up this case and enjoy my weekend."

I take a moment to read the summary. "Wallace is in a coma, so you haven't been able to get a statement or an ID from him. I can authorize you to bring Fitzgerald in for questioning, but you need an eye witness who saw Wallace and Fitzgerald together outside the bowling alley after the argument. At this point, Fitzgerald would have to confess during questioning before I could give you the go ahead to arrest him."

"I know he did it!" Sinclair practically yells as his rises from the chair.

I won't let him take the power-stand by allowing him to look down at me, so I rise from my chair as well so that he's looking slightly up at me. "Your gut instinct isn't admissible in court, so you can't arrest him. You have a plausible theory and a hunch, but they don't make a case that would hold up in court."

Sinclair, in frustration and anger, pounds his fist down on the case file that he'd brought in and dropped on my desk. "A good lawyer could make the case in court. You know one?" he snaps at me before scooping up his file and making a retreat from my office, slamming the door on his way out.

Special Agent Richard Sinclair stomped back to his desk. Captain Rabb was a formidable opponent, but he liked having his opponents on the other side of the law so that he could take them down.

Rich was sure that he'd get away with getting rid of McGraw, but he knew that he couldn't go after anyone else on his list until after the McGraw investigation had been wrapped up.

Rich felt a little remorse about taking out McGraw. He'd liked the guy, but McGraw had been going to tell Rabb everything. He'd been going to tell Rabb that he'd shot the man whom Emerson had been convicted of shooting. He'd been going to tell Rabb that he'd planted the gun in Emerson's house. The mistake that he'd made in the Emerson case had been putting his trust in a man to keep his secrets. He hadn't been able to wine and dine or even bribe McGraw.

McGraw's death had been an unfortunate necessity. He'd tried to handle Rabb differently. He'd tried to deprive him of the credibility that his job required, but he'd heard through the grapevine just this morning that Rabb was a happily married man and that the rumors of him cheating on his wife had been just that, rumors.

It was too soon for another office death, no matter how well it might be executed, but Rich felt that he had to do something about Rabb. He'd have to come up with something this weekend. Rabb had to have a weakness. He'd find it, and get Rabb to fall in line.

With Sinclair out of my office, I'm left mumbling to myself. Not for the first time, the cause of my distress is Special Agent Richard Sinclair.

I pull the file closer to me that I'd been reading when Sinclair came in, but after I've read the same paragraph for the third time, I decide to get out of the office for a few minutes.

I leave my office with my cell phone and grab a soda from the vending machine in the hall on my way outside to enjoy some sunshine.

I pop open the soda and take a gulp, allowing the cold liquid to cool my throat on the way down before I dial my voice mailbox.

I have a message from Mac.

"I called your cell because what I want to tell you is personal. I just called to tell you that I love you very much."

I smile at the sound of her voice, and my heart sings when I hear her say that she loves me. That's what I needed to hear. How does she do it? How does she know what her family needs, even when we aren't with her? It's kind of scary, but comforting at the same time. I listen to the message one more time before I head back into work.

I move the last file on my desk into the 'signed off pile' and look at the time. It's 1600. After the day that I've had, I'm going home. I'll take the Sinclair files home and look them over this weekend, but I think that my wife deserves something special tonight for making my day better.

I call Frank and talk to him first, and then I talk to Ty about how, along with sometimes having important things to talk about, grown ups like to go out to dinner by themselves on a date. After getting approval from Ty to take Mac out on a date, I call Mac and tell her to go straight to the condo instead of picking up Ty.

I told Mac on the phone that I'd take care of picking up Ty. I just didn't tell her when I'd planned to do that, but I had to promise Ty that I'd be there to get him tonight. He wants to sleep in his own bed. It was an easy promise for me to make because I had no intention of leaving him overnight, just for a few hours while I romance my wife.

I've made reservations, cleaned up and changed into the only suit that I have here - since my things are still in transit - before Mac gets home.

I greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a single red rose. "Ty's having dinner with his grandparents tonight, so I was hoping that it would leave you free for a dinner date this evening."

"It would, but what's the occasion?" she asks curiously.

"I love you, too," I say before I have a Marine making full-body contact with me and kissing me like she hasn't seen me in a month.

She suddenly breaks the kiss. "I'll go change. I'll be down in a few minutes."

When Mac returns, the Marine is gone, replaced by the beautiful woman who I married. I'm not aware that my mouth is agape until she takes her finger and pushes my chin up until my mouth closes. "See something you like, Sailor?" she says with a seductive smile.

"Not something, everything…the woman, the dress…" I stop at the sight of the blush on her cheeks. I opt instead to brush my lips over hers before I ask, "Are you ready for dinner?"

"Are you trying to be funny? I've been thinking of a steak since you suggested going out to dinner, and now I'm starving."

We go to dinner and have a relaxing meal. After dinner, we go to Mission Bay Park where we walk for a little while and talk about a little bit of everything. Some of our topics are ones that are generally difficult for one or the other of us, but the relaxing dinner and general feeling of love that we have tonight on this first date since Ty has come to live with us makes even our talk about our upcoming appointment with the fertility doctor on May 26th easier than usual.

We have a wonderful time, but we both know that something's missing, or rather that some_one_ is missing.

When we get back to the SUV at the park, I ask to find out how much she's missing him, "Do you want me to take you home first or do you want me to stop to pick up Ty on the way home?"

"Let's go get him together," she says.

I don't know who's happier, Ty seeing us or us seeing Ty. It sure hasn't taken long for him to be ours. I think that his presence in our lives is another reason why we're able to talk about our appointment with the doctor with a little less stress. We both want a baby, but we have a child, and that gives us a family, baby to come or not.

We get to the condo and follow the 'after dinner and tucking in routine' before going downstairs to wait up for Mattie to come home from her date.

Once the whole family is home, we have our usual Friday date night exchange with Mattie for a few minutes before the ladies go upstairs.

I don't want to alarm the ladies and, in Mac's case, I also don't want her to think that I'm being paranoid, but I know that telling Sinclair that he couldn't make his arrest today added another bone of contention between us, so I want to double check that we're locked up tight before going upstairs to join my wife in bed.


	92. Chapter 92

**PART FIVE – Coming Apart At The Seams**

**SATURDAY, MAY 6, 2006**

I met Paul at the beach for our early morning ocean swim, but when I returned home, everyone was still asleep.

With everyone still sleeping, I opt for a shower before starting breakfast, but I'm not in the shower too long when my space is invaded by a certain beautiful Marine, not that I mind.

It's still early, and the romance of our date last night still lingers within me, so we aren't going to have shower sex this morning. What we start in the shower, we finish in our bed.

We must doze off after making love because a knock on our bedroom door is the next thing I remember.

I realize that it's Mattie when I hear her say, "You two okay in there?" She pauses, giving us time to become awake enough to understand what she's saying. "I can get Ty some breakfast if you want me to before I go to work."

Mac is the one who gets her wits about her first and responds, "No, I have a ton of housework to do today. I thought that we'd all sleep in and go out to breakfast so that I wouldn't feel like I'd been chained to the house all day."

'Yeah, you made it sound like that was your plan all along, but I know better,' I think as Mattie responds to Mac.

"Okay, then. I'll get Ty started on brushing his teeth and getting dressed, and then we'll be ready when you are."

"Great, be right there," Mac says as she looks at me.

I don't hide the grin on my face at her covering up the real reason why we're still in bed, and it earns me a swat on the arm.

"What was that for?" I ask while rubbing the spot on my arm where she'd made contact, hoping to garner sympathy.

"For what you were thinking," she replies before she throws back the bedcovers to get up.

"I was just thinking how quickly you think 'off your feet' as well as 'on your feet'. Mattie's old enough that she can guess why we're still in bed, but I like the fact that you came up with a way to keep from confessing to it. I was admiring your diversionary tactics. I mean, if we confess to why we're still in bed, Mattie might get the idea that it's fun or something and want to try it herself, and with that Paul guy around -"

"You think that Paul's a nice guy -" she says, cutting in while moving to get out of bed.

"He's a nice guy for a training partner," I say, cutting her off this time. He's okay to take Mattie to a dance or movie once in a while. I think those things help her feel like a normal teenager. Especially because of the severity of her injuries in the accident, I think that's something she needs...but I in no way think that he's good enough -"

"For your daughter," Mac finishes for me.

"Yeah," I respond as I throw off the bedcovers to get up.

She throws a smile at me over her shoulder as she says, "We have hungry children waiting for us to take them to breakfast." Then she disappears into the bathroom.

After breakfast, we go by Mom's to drop off Mattie so that she can ride in to work with her, but Ty has a request. He wants to go in and say "hi" to Grandpa. With school starting last week, they aren't going to be seeing as much of each other, so how could we say no?

Mattie's glad that we'd come in because Grandpa says that, if we have no objections, she can take the Neon to work, and he'll bring her home when she brings back the car. Mattie's thrilled to have wheels for the day.

When we get back to the condo, we begin our day of household chores. Ty and I are assigned to several errands. Until today, Mac's been taking care of picking up and dropping off our uniforms at the cleaners, but today, that's on our list as well as the grocery shopping.

After a full day of catching up with things at home, Mac and I go to bed tired.

As I cuddle with Mac in bed, I wonder how a day of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping, along with our regular morning and evening routines, can be so relaxing and enjoyable.

**MONDAY, MAY 8, 2006**

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**BEFORE THE MORNING MEETING**

I came into work early today to look over some stuff, but my mind can't seem to let go of the weekend.

I'd left Friday with the intention of spending some time with my notes and the files that I now have open and strung out across my desk. The plan to review the pieces of the Sinclair puzzle from different angles and think over possible scenarios was quickly pushed aside after the start of a wonderful weekend with my family that began on Friday evening with a date with my wife.

Sunday, while Paul and Mattie were out on their usual swim date, the remaining three of us went to the beach. The time on the beach reminded me of one of the dreams that I had while we were apart, except that Mac isn't pregnant like in the dream. Mac and I walked hand in hand on the beach with Ty out in front of us, running along the water's edge, pretending that he doesn't want to get wet, but giggling when the ripple of a fading wave splashes his leg. Ty's laughter filled the air as Mac and I ran up behind him. I lifted him into the air, and Mac tickled him. The events at the beach have etched a memory into my mind to replace the dream.

The other highlight of yesterday was setting up a brunch date with my mother for next Sunday. I don't think that she realizes that it's Mother's Day. Over dinner at Mom's last night, I told her that we wouldn't be able to make dinner next Sunday, but that I'd like to take her to brunch since she'd be up late with her gallery event the night before. She'd smiled and agreed to go. I'm particularly pleased with myself because, during our beach walk, I told Mac that I wanted to take my mom out for Mother's Day, but I didn't give her a hint that we have something planned for her, too.

As the thought that next weekend is going to be even better than this one flutters through my mind, the papers on my desk catch my eye. Vern and I will meet with Landon after the regular meeting, so this is my last chance to look over this stuff before we meet. I need to focus.

**MORNING MEETING**

There's no joking or gossiping before Landon arrives to begin the meeting. This is the first morning meeting since Agent McGraw's death, and the mood of the room reflects the loss.

Landon begins the meeting by saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great sadness that I confirm that Agent McGraw was found dead at his home on Friday. I ask that you not speculate on the cause of his death. This office will not be releasing any information until it has been able to confirm its authenticity. I will _not _have Agent McGraw's death among the items that are gossiped about. Is that understood?"

Once everyone has nodded in agreement, Landon indicates that Michaels should begin.

Michaels delivers his report in a monotone voice that's strong enough to be heard, yet soft enough to respect the man who was lost.

Sinclair, on the other hand, acts as if nothing's happened. I know from experience that sometimes ignoring a loss is how you get through the pain, but it'll eventually surface and usually at an inconvenient time.

Sinclair had been talking for a few minutes when he starts to wind things up. "My last case this morning is..." As he wraps up a summary of the Wallace/Fitzgerald case, we see the first sign of emotion from him. Of course, the emotion is irritation and it's directed at me, but an emotion is an emotion - each person deals with grief differently. "I want to arrest Fitzgerald, but the mighty JAG, Rabb here, won't give me the go ahead."

Landon looks at me questioningly. "Agent Sinclair doesn't have enough evidence for an arrest," I answer, addressing Landon and not Sinclair.

Sinclair's voice is lower and strained with anger when he speaks next. "Tell him the truth, Rabb. You're using the power that this new procedure gives you to get even with me for making a pass at your wife. You weren't here yet, and I...I didn't know that she was your wife when I asked her out. You're blocking the arrest just to ruin my numbers so that I'll get passed over for promotion again. You're making this personal. You need to get over it so that I can do my job."

I make eye contact with Sinclair about mid-way through his rant and, when he finishes, he looks smug. He thinks that he has me cornered. I don't like playing mind games, but sometimes you have to in order to get inside the head of a suspect or client to find the truth. I lean back in my chair and answer in a calm and even voice.

"You didn't make just one pass, so, if anything, I'd say that you're bringing it up now to throw doubt on my judgment and keep me from doing _my_ job."

'Damn! Rabb's good,' Sinclair thought as he tried to gather a comeback. This was only one of the plans that he'd come up with this weekend to throw Rabb off his game. He should have gone with one of the others. He knew that this plan wasn't going to work now, but he'd backed himself into a corner.

Landon speaks, "I think we're all still a little on edge from the tragic loss of one of our own. Perhaps it was too soon for us to have this meeting. I think we should adjourn for today. If any of you have anything pressing to discuss, stop by to see my secretary, and she'll give you a time to meet with me this morning. Thank all of you for your time. We'll meet again on Wednesday morning. If there's nothing else..." Landon stands and moves to the door.

The others quickly follow. Before I know it, only Sinclair and I remain in the conference room. I start towards the door. This man is the last person with whom I want to be alone in a room. I'm not fast enough, and he's able to move between me and the door.

"What did you expect, Rabb? You left her alone. A woman who looks like that with a body like that needs a man _all_ the time."

My fist clenches at my side.

"I'd have been doing you a favor, keeping it to just one man instead of dozens in your absence," Sinclair continues.

My arm brings my clenched fist to his jaw. 'Rank be damned!' is the only thought that I have time for before my fist makes contact with his jaw.

His head jerks to the side. I'm expecting an incoming fist and I'm posed to defend myself, but the retaliatory punch doesn't come. Sinclair wraps his hand around his chin, with his thumb on one side and his fingers on the other, and moves his jaw back and forth in his grip. "Good right hand, Rabb. Who would have thought that a lawyer had a swing like that?"

While I ponder his stance to see if he's trying to lure me into a false sense of security before striking, I've had time to regain my composure. In some strange way, I think that I just earned some respect from the man by hitting him.

He steps aside to let me pass. "It isn't over between us, Rabb."

"I didn't think that it was."

**LANDON'S OFFICE**

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

I don't think that my tardiness is noticed because it seems from the greetings between Vern and Landon that I hear when I enter that Vern arrived only a few moments before me.

We've all gathered this morning to speak with Jane about the results of the search on her computer.

After we've spent another thirty minutes or so with Jane, we've learned very little about the deletion of the Emerson report, but Jane does say that Sinclair had encouraged her to relate the scene of me at the deli talking to the petty officer. She said that his reason was because he wanted to discredit me so that, if I found out about them, I wouldn't be believed.

I'm glad that they're focusing on Jane because, during the discussion with her, my hand has begun to throb, and flexing it every couple of moments seems to give me some temporary relief.

Landon asks Jane to wait outside his office and, after a brief discussion, she's invited back inside.

After Jane takes a seat, Landon asks, "Jane, is it your wish to return to work here?"

"Yes, sir." A warm smile appears on her face.

"We've found no violation of law on your part. For violating policy and giving Sinclair your user name and password, a formal letter of reprimand will be placed in your personnel file and you'll be suspended for this week without pay. Jane, I don't want to alarm you, but we're in agreement that Agent Sinclair's more recent behavior is out of the norm and makes him unpredictable, so I suggest that you go somewhere, take a little vacation during your suspension."

"I'm sure that he's upset because I broke up with him, but Rich wouldn't hurt me."

"Jane, I hope that you're right and I'm wrong, but I'd feel better if I knew that you were away somewhere safe. So please take a little vacation to humor me, if nothing else. Now, unless you have any questions, I'll see you at the morning meeting a week from today," Landon says.

"No questions, sir. Thank you."

Once Jane has left the office, it's Vern who questions Landon. "Do you think that a week will give us enough time to wrap up the investigation on Sinclair?"

"Did you see him this morning when he engaged Rabb, here? He was sweaty and antsy. He's coming apart at the seams. We just need to turn up the heat a little and he'll crack," Landon answers.

While the three of us are meeting to talk about how we can turn up the heat on Sinclair, we have a visitor, Agent Reyes. She's been able to confirm that the password used to delete the file was assigned to the records department and, just like that, we have our next move. It's time to talk to Monica again, but this time, we aren't asking for a statement. We'll be questioning her about the deletion of the Emerson file from the lab computer, using the old department code.

**INTERROGATION ROOM ONE**

**LATE MORNING**

We split up after the meeting in Landon's office was over to check on our own teams, but now I'm waiting for Vern to join me. I've also called the records department and asked for Monica to join us. She should be here any minute, and I hope that Vern gets here before she does.

I flex my hand again. The knuckles have swollen, and the movement of my fingers is painful. Sinclair deserved to be punched at the JAG conference weeks ago, and today I find it to be satisfying enough to say that it's worth the pain that I'm feeling now to have hit him.

Vern pops in the room. 'Finally,' I think. Vern drops a bag of ice on the desk.

"I'd have been here sooner, but I rounded up some ice for you. I thought that it might help with the swellin' in your hand."

"How did you know?" I ask.

"I was just outside the door. I heard the whole thing. If you ask me, you showed remarkable restraint. I think I'd have hit him sooner." Vern chuckles as he pats me on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, my boy. He had it comin' to him."

We take the next few minutes to discuss our strategy for questioning Monica. Vern suggests that I question Monica alone while he watches through the glass. His reasoning is that, since Sinclair told Jane that he was worried that I'd find out about them, he's sure that he would have fed Monica the same kind of line. So, thinking that I'm onto them, as he'd predicted, might cause her to slip up and give us some useful information about Sinclair.

On the other hand, some people under the right amount of pressure will start to talk nervously without thought to their words. That's the case today with Monica when she's confronted with the fact that a file was deleted in another department, using an old password assigned to her department.

At the end of our interview, I step outside the interrogation room to confer with Vern. He says that he's talked to Landon. Two members of team three are on their way to place Monica under arrest. He also tells me that Landon knows that Monica might not have understood the legal implications of 'losing' a file, but, with her in custody, both she and Jane should be off Sinclair's radar. On the surface, it will look like 'his women' are taking the fall for him. With at least two of his current ladies in trouble, the heat will be on Sinclair to make sure that his bases are covered, and, as he scrambles to make sure that he's covered, he might slip up and give us an opening. The flip side of it is that, if Sinclair figures out our plan before we're ready to move on him, both of the ladies are out of his reach.

**HARM'S CAR **

**RIDE HOME**

Vern and I have been in and out of each other's offices all day. After questioning Monica and her subsequent arrest, the news is bound to get out that we are or were investigating something.

Vern and I are at a bit of an impasse on how to proceed.

Late this afternoon, we got the preliminary autopsy and tox screen reports from the FBI crime lab.

The cause of Agent McGraw's death was an overdose of a drug used to combat migraines. The ME is sure from the results of the toxicology report that McGraw took his migraine meds with a glass or two of something containing alcohol. The alcohol level was measurable, but not high enough for him to be considered intoxicated. The ME says that the alcohol would have accelerated the effects of the migraine medication. Since everyone has a different metabolism rate, it's impossible to say for sure how long it would have taken for him to be rendered unconscious. However, the ME speculates that it wouldn't have been too long since there were only trace amounts of carbon monoxide in his system, meaning that he was alive when he got into the car, though not for long. That, among other results, leaves questions. How did he get the oddly shaped bruise on the underside of his arm, for example? The bruise was made prior to death, but, according to the ME, probably within an hour before his death. Another question is, if he'd taken a lethal dose of migraine meds, why did he go sit in his car while it was running? Why did he use two methods of committing suicide? Was he just trying to make sure that he was successful at killing himself?

For every answer we find, we seem to acquire three more questions with it.

I'm glad to be heading home. My brain has been working overtime today and it needs a break. I'm looking forward to a relaxing dinner.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**BEDTIME**

My evening has been all that I'd hoped it would be, and I feel more like myself as I undress down to my jeans.

My wife motions for me to sit on the edge of the bed. When I sit, she unfastens the catch on the slacks that she'd changed into before dinner.

I think I'm getting a treat. 'Stripper Mac' is going to perform for me tonight as she looks at me seductively and slowly lowers the zipper of her slacks. She unbuttons the first three buttons on her blouse. I'm intrigued and already starting to feel my jeans getting tighter, and then the mood is broken when she speaks.

"Okay, Mister Rabb, that's all you get to see until you tell me what happened to that hand of yours."

"I hit it against something this morning," I reply, eager to get her back to undressing for me.

She unbuttons the rest of her shirt buttons and lets it fall open, and I can see a thin section of her skin between the pieces of fabric.

"This something that your hand hit..." She reaches for the wounded hand, pulls it up from where it's resting on my thigh, steps closer and places a kiss on a bruised knuckle. "...what was it?"

Before her eyes fall shut and she begins to kiss the other swollen knuckles, I see the warmth and caring in them, and it turns my insides to mush. I can't lie to her...and I don't want to tell her the truth. She turns my hand over and places a kiss in my palm.

"I..." She places a kiss on my wrist. "...I hit a..." She's making a trail of kisses up my arm. "...I..." I'm never going to get it out because she's just placed a kiss on my neck, just below my ear. I stop trying to preface it with any explanation or story and confess, "Sinclair."

Her kisses come to an abrupt halt, and her eyes open and meet mine. "You hit Agent Sinclair?" she asks aghast.

I wonder if my answer will have any bearing on whether this evening will end with us making love.

"Yes. He said something that crossed the line, and I hit him."

"The things that he said...they were about me, weren't they?"

I only nod in anticipation of her scolding me for my 'male chauvinist' attitude about a man defending a woman's honor.

She lets go of my hand. Here it comes. I look up into her eyes, prepared to take my lecture like a man, but she doesn't place her hands on her hips, preparing to chew me out. Instead, she places her palms against my cheeks, and her face is coming towards me until her lips touch mine – she's kissing me.

The kiss takes over my senses, and I place my hands on her hips, pulling her into me as we kiss. A few moments later, the kiss comes to an end.

"You aren't angry?" I ask breathlessly.

"A man defending my honor, though, in this day and age, unneeded, I think it's kind of old-fashioned sweet. I can't be angry about that."

My hands make a move from her hips, sliding around her back so that I have my arms around her in a loose embrace.

"I don't have to tell you that it's wrong. You already know that fighting doesn't set a good example for your children or you would've announced that you'd hit him at dinner, so -"

"So we're okay?" I ask hopefully.

"We're okay," she says while offering a soft smile.

I offer a shy smile. Too big a smile might change her mood. I pull her in so close that she loses her balance and, as she falls forward, I purposely fall back on the bed. She lands on top of me, and we begin to kiss again.

I think that we'll be ending this night with making love after all.


	93. Chapter 93

**PART SIX – A Watch Can Tell More Than Time **

**THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2006**

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**AROUND 1000**

In response to Petty Officer Burns' buzz, announcing that I have a call, I depress the correct phone line button to take a call from Mac.

"Hello...and before I say anything else, is this call business or personal?" I say into the receiver.

"Personal...I've had an awful morning and, just moments ago, I had an idea of how to turn the day around. Do you think that you'd be able to get away for a longer than usual lunch?" she asks.

"I think I can manage that. Where would you like to meet?"

"Our place, Sailor."

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**LUNCHTIME**

I unlock and open the front door of our condo. My eyes fall on a wonderful, but surprising sight. The woman I'm married to is in only her bra and panties, moving about our living room.

I stop to watch her. She sits down on the couch and reaches for something small on the coffee table. The item for which she reached must have been a matchbook because she strikes a match and lights two pillar candles, one on each side of a tray in the middle of the coffee table. I take a step forward and see her nervously start to fuss with the sandwiches arranged on the tray.

I take another step closer to her. "Hey," I say.

Startled, she jumps to her feet, but quickly calms. "Hey," she replies.

I point to the coffee table, but my eyes haven't left her scantily clad body. "What's this?" I ask.

She offers me a sheepish grin. "Lunch."

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm overdressed for this occasion?"

"Because you're a very perceptive man and, from your surroundings, you've assessed that you're dining at a very casual place today and that your uniform isn't appropriate attire." Her voice is raspy and sexy.

I start to unbutton my shirt while toeing off my shoes. "I guess I should comply with the dress code or I might not get any lunch."

She reaches back, unhooks her bra and exposes her breasts to me.

'Who needs to eat?' I think to myself as I stare at her beautiful body.

It takes me only a few seconds to strip off the rest of my clothing, move towards her and join her on the couch.

Soon we're in a clutch and, when I lean her back onto the couch, it results in the only awkward moment of the afternoon.

"Ouch!" she exclaims.

"What ouch?" I ask

"Your watch is digging into my back."

"Sorry," I say as I move my arms out from under her to remove my watch so that we can continue to steal a few precious moments from our day for a little afternoon delight.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**AFTER LUNCH**

I've been in the building for a little while, but the first thing I did was go to the head to wash any sandwich crumbs off my face.

The next stop I made was to see Vern. We discussed bringing Sinclair in for a formal 'sit down,' but we've agreed that we don't have that one piece of damning evidence that would tip the scale in our favor.

Sinclair is trained in what to look for in a suspect, so he knows what we'll be looking for when we question him. We both feel that we have to have either an abundance of evidence or one big piece that will make him feel cornered and, while he's 'on the ropes,' he'll be more likely to make a slip that will allow us to fill in the blanks.

First, we reviewed Sinclair's statement about visiting McGraw on the night that he'd died. Sinclair's admission that he'd gone to McGraw's house the evening of McGraw's death gives the appearance of honesty.

A combination of the fact that we have no statements to contradict Sinclair's and the fact that McGraw's cause of death was a combination of migraine medication and alcohol, we should believe a long-employed agent and let it go, but neither Vern nor I can do that.

During my visit with Vern, a review of the ME's report makes us wonder about McGraw's ability, given the amount of meds and alcohol in his system, to get to the garage under his own power.

The ME's answer was that she couldn't be certain. Her expanded answer was that, since everyone has a different metabolic rate, there's no way for her to be one hundred percent sure whether he could or couldn't make it to the garage and into his car by himself. However, her opinion was that, though it might be possible, she didn't feel that it was likely that he could have. That answer raised the question: If Sinclair had slipped McGraw a lethal dose of migraine medicine, why make it look like he died of carbon monoxide poisoning by putting him in the car? The migraine drug was prescription, so the overdose along with the short note on his computer would've been convincing enough, and after verification of the cause of death by the ME, the book on McGraw's death would've been closed in a few days.

The other option that Vern and I discussed was questioning Sinclair using his desire to be the leader of team one as a key stressor. If Sinclair feels that his position to take control of team one if something happens to Michaels is threatened, that could achieve the same 'on the ropes' feeling that we want to give him.

I found that Vern and I share the same philosophy: You use questioning a suspect to fill in spaces, but we don't have spaces, we have gaps. When I left Vern, we agreed that we simply aren't ready to question Sinclair.

I've finally made it back to my office. The frustration of not being able to make a move on Sinclair and thereby securing my family's safety hasn't caused the big smile, the only evidence of my extended lunch hour, to fade as I sit at my desk and pull out the papers that I've read so many times in the last few days that I want to scream.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**MID AFTERNOON**

My eyes are straining to see the words on the page clearly, so I close my eyes and lean back in my chair to give my eyes a much needed break.

With my eyes closed, my mind conjures up a picture of my barely-clothed wife in our living room, and my mind starts to wander back to lunch.

The obnoxious ring that my phone makes from someone calling from within NCIS brings me back into the present.

As I reach for the receiver, my final thought of my lunch meeting is of me walking out of the condo with a sandwich in hand to eat in the car on the way back to the office.

"Captain Rabb," I say into the receiver.

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

As I walk past the elevators towards Landon's office, Vern's stepping off the elevator, and we almost collide.

We don't want to discuss Sinclair out in the open, but we manage to make idle chit chat until we reach Landon's office.

**LANDON'S OFFICE**

A pleasant looking woman about my mother's age is sitting on the small couch in Landon's office when Vern and I enter.

"Gentlemen, I'm glad you've arrived. This is Mrs. McGraw, Agent McGraw's mother. Ma'am, I'd like to introduce Agent O'Malley and Captain Rabb. These are the two men who are looking into your son's death."

Meeting with grief-stricken families after a violent crime is never easy, but not having any answers makes this meeting all the more difficult.

After a few moments of offering condolences and polite small talk, Mrs. McGraw is the one who moves the conversation forward.

"I picked up my son's personal effects this morning, but his watch wasn't among his things. I was told by the young man at the FBI who checked an inventory list that no watch was listed. He suggested that, since the FBI was merely assisting in the case, the watch might be among some evidence that was being kept here. I stopped at my son's home on my way here, but the doors still have 'crime tape' across them, so I didn't go inside. I hate to bother you, but the watch was special to my husband, and I'd really like to have it back, so I was hoping that the men who I was told were looking into my son's death could tell me if the watch is here."

The woman stops speaking and dabs at tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. During the brief pause, Vern moves to her side and collects her hand to comfort her while she finishes her story.

"Doug hasn't taken that watch off since I gave it to him almost two years ago when his father died. The watch was given to Doug's father eight years ago by IBM when he retired. My husband was very proud of that watch. He said that it really wasn't the watch...it was what it represented...that his hard work and contributions over his thirty years with the company had been recognized and rewarded. I found out the day before Doug's death that my oldest daughter will be having a son in a few months. He'll be my first grandchild. I want the watch so that I can give it to my grandson when he graduates from college to show him that, though it might take time, if you work hard, you'll be rewarded. Will you please help me find it?"

Her sentimental story has Vern and me answering the woman at the same time. "Yes, ma'am."

It's Vern who asks for a description of the watch.

"It's a gold Rolex," she replies.

"You said that it was a gift for your husband's retirement. Sometimes they're engraved for such an event. Was there anything like that on the watch that would make it more easily identifiable?" I ask.

"His initials and the date. My son was a junior, so they had the same initials, DM."

Vern sits up straight and squeezes the woman's hand before he speaks. "If you'll give us a number where we can reach you, we'll give you a call when we find it. If it isn't on our evidence inventory sheet, I'll check your son's house personally when it's released by the crime scene unit."

"Thank you. You've been very kind." She reaches into her purse and pulls out a padded manila envelope that's folded over. "My son said in his letter that I should give this envelope to you, Captain Rabb."

I reach for the envelope and lift the flap that was created by the fold. The envelope has been opened. She must sense my thoughts because she speaks.

"It was addressed to me from my son. I opened it, but look inside. His note told me that I should give it to you."

I open the envelope and pull out the contents, two items: a folded piece of paper and an envelope with my name written on the outside. That envelope is still sealed.

For the purposes of having a witness to the contents, Vern steps forward and confirms what I've removed from the envelope.

After confirmation of the contents, I unfold the note.

Dear Mom,

I've written you a long letter to explain, but you must take this envelope with its contents to Captain Rabb at NCIS.

Love,

Doug

I open the envelope with my name on it. It contains a disc, a short note and another piece of paper. The short note reads:

Captain Rabb,

On the disc you will find the two reports that you've been waiting for, the Emerson murder case and the Donovan drug case. I've personally witnessed Sinclair do or, in some cases, not do a lot of things in the past three months. The file of my observations is contained on the enclosed disc so that it can be noted that I typed it. I've enclosed a printed and signed copy of it to serve as my statement in lieu of my absence. I don't want the disc falling into Sinclair's hands, so I'm mailing it to my mother before I take the pills.

Sincerely,

Former NCIS Special Agent Douglas McGraw

We don't want to rush Mrs. McGraw out of the office, but we're all anxious to read his statement and look at the reports on the disc. She's hesitant to let us look over her son's letter, but she has it with her, and we manage to coax her into letting us make a copy of it. After we've all promised to look into the matters that Agent McGraw's letter reveals and give our assurance that we'll look for the watch, Mrs. McGraw is ready to leave Landon's office.

Vern and I walk Mrs. McGraw to the lobby before heading to my office to look at the information that's been dropped into our lap.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**LATE AFTERNOON**

With the Donovan drug case pending, Vern and I open the file labeled DONOVAN first.

Though there was nothing in the report that would cause a dismissal of the charges against Petty Officer Donovan, there had been lapses in the use of good judgment.

According to McGraw's report, Sinclair had decided that only he and McGraw would go to arrest Donovan at a warehouse that they couldn't possibly cover alone. Shots had been fired at the warehouse, but Sinclair hadn't reported it, which is a clear violation of standard operating procedure.

McGraw's report on the Emerson case outlines the entire incident for us. Though I'd suspected that Emerson hadn't killed the victim, I'm surprised that McGraw names Sinclair as the shooter.

However, McGraw's report clearly states that Sinclair had used a back up weapon that he hadn't reported 'finding' during the search of a vehicle while working another case. Sinclair's error was in leaving the gun at the crime scene. It turned out that the gun hadn't been someone's personal property. A trace on the gun found at the murder scene had uncovered the fact that the gun was a weapon missing from a ship's armory. The last man to sign out the gun from that ship's armory had been Master Chief Robert Emerson.

McGraw's report went on to say that Sinclair had carefully worded questions during Emerson's interrogation to make Emerson sound guilty, and since he had no alibi for the time of the shooting, he went down for the murder.

If the gun involved in the shooting had been taken from Emerson's car, then the chief might have had some means of defending himself when Sinclair questioned him. However, Emerson had never met Sinclair because the gun had been taken from a vehicle weeks before the shooting during a routine vehicle inspection at the base gate.

The vehicle in which the weapon had been found belonged to the officer in charge of the ship's armory, but Sinclair hadn't known that at the time, and since the it was a routine search and not an investigation of the man driving the car, Sinclair had assumed that the gun was his personal weapon and not military, and he'd taken the weapon into his personal possession.

The first line of McGraw's statement reads:

I, Douglas McGraw Jr., witnessed and helped to cover up a murder committed by Special Agent Richard Sinclair, a murder that Chief Petty Officer Robert Emerson was convicted of committing.

In McGraw's statement, he explained the reason for his participation in the cover up.

Sinclair had convinced McGraw that he'd made a mistake by thinking that the man was going for a gun. However, after he'd shot him, he'd realized that he'd been wrong. Sinclair had said that it was a mistake that could happen to any of them, and he'd pleaded for McGraw to help him cover it up. With another team on the way in, McGraw had to make a split-second decision and decided to back up Sinclair's story that the man was down when they arrived.

The request to help in the cover up was bad enough, but then the report on the gun came back that it was a weapon listed as missing from a ship's armory. McGraw said that Sinclair had told him that he'd thought that the gun that he'd seized during a vehicle search weeks earlier was the officer's personal weapon and that the report complicated things. Sinclair said that he'd make sure that the report disappeared, and then there wouldn't be anything to worry about.

Master Chief Emerson had become caught up in the case when the ship's armory log showed that he'd been the last one to sign out the murder weapon. Sinclair, knowing that the weapon hadn't been in Emerson's hand, used the log-out sheet to get the previous JAG officer to approve bringing in Emerson for questioning. Since Emerson had no alibi for the time of the shooting and he was the last one to sign out the murder weapon, a few carefully worded questions during the interrogation made Emerson the perfect fall guy, and he was arrested and later convicted.

McGraw said that the shooting and subsequent cover up led him to start paying closer attention to Sinclair and his behavior.

During the weeks that followed, McGraw said that he began to second guess some of Sinclair's decisions, which led McGraw to review previous arrests. From the review of arrest records and talking among team members, McGraw had drawn the conclusion that Sinclair hadn't been making errors only recently, but that he'd been making mistakes and not following proper procedure for weeks. It appeared that he'd been off his game since he'd lost the leadership position of team one to Agent Michaels.

Afraid that Sinclair was going to continue to lose his focus, McGraw had gone to Landon to report his concerns. McGraw stated that he couldn't tell Landon everything without implicating himself, so he'd been hoping to say enough that Sinclair would be investigated without getting himself arrested.

The letter to his mother is a confession and an apology. The section that we read and discuss several times is:

When Captain Rabb came to me for copies of missing reports, I knew that he'd uncover the truth. As I wrote the reports, I had to face the cold, hard fact that my lie had sent an innocent man to prison. I've neglected to tell the whole truth and know that I must right the wrong that I've done. You raised me right, but I was led off the path and didn't know how to get back on. I don't want to go to jail, but I'm glad to free my soul of the heavy burden of guilt before I go to see Dad. I'll tell Dad that you said hi when I see him. I'm sorry, Momma. Don't worry about me. I'm going to take too many of my migraine pills and I'll go peacefully in my sleep.

We get on the phone to tell Landon about our jackpot of information, but he's left for the day. We try to locate the IA people, but they've left for the day, too.

Vern and I check our watches and decide that calling it a day might be a good idea. He and I will meet early in the morning, put our notes together for Landon and present it to him before the meeting.

I slide the files on Sinclair, Emerson and Donovan into my briefcase. Perhaps this will be the last day that I have to carry this stuff back and forth.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

I'm in bed, waiting for Mac to return from her nightly final check on Ty.

Ty's been with us for four weeks now, but she still checks on him again before going to bed to make sure that he's sleeping.

"You took longer than usual. Is he okay?" I ask as Mac enters our room.

"Yeah, he's fine," she says as she turns to close the bedroom door.

After the bedroom door is closed, she turns towards me, and I get a good look at the expression on her face. "Are you all right?" I ask.

She grasps the hem of her top. "I'm okay. I just had to watch him sleep for a couple of extra minutes," she says before lifting her top up over her head.

While she clutches her top in one hand, she moves to sit on the edge of the bed next to me. "Harm..."

"Yeah..."

"While I was watching him sleep, I had a thought. You haven't mentioned a direct threat from Sinclair, but you also haven't told me to stand down, so I'm not to let my guard down yet either, correct?"

"Correct."

"You don't think that he'd really go after one of our children, do you?"

"I don't know. I hope not. I got some new information today. Once we talk to Landon in the morning, I hope to be able to put Sinclair in the hot seat and have him in custody by the end of the day."

She places a delicate kiss on my lips and pulls away quickly. "Then let's get to sleep so tomorrow will hurry up and get here and you can rid our lives of the problem."

She offers me a soft smile before she turns to continue undressing, but I see something and reach for her arm to keep her from rising. "Mac, what happened to you?"

"Nothing happened, why?"

I extend my hand and place my index finger gently in the center of a quarter-sized bruise on her back. "You have a bruise right here."

"Nothing hap...wait, it must be from your watch this afternoon."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do it on purpose. It's okay." She offers a 'cat that swallowed the canary' grin. "It doesn't hurt, and a little bruise is a small price to pay for what I got in return."

Mac again tries to move from the bed, but this time she's close enough that my arm can easily make its way around her shoulders, and I pull her towards me while I rise to meet her part way. Our lips touch and, in the midst of our kiss, we fall under the spell of each other once again.

Lovingly, we take our kiss from one stage to the next until I've helped her shed her remaining clothing and there's a union of our bodies that seals the bond of our hearts.

As she drifts off to sleep in my arms, I kiss her forehead. As my eyes become too heavy to remain open, one last thought passes through my mind of the woman in my arms and of the family that we've created.

As I drift off to sleep, I smile in contentment at the thought of them.


	94. Chapter 94

**PART SEVEN – The Last Piece of the Puzzle **

**FRIDAY, MAY 12, 2006**

**HARM'S OFFICE **

**BEFORE THE MORNING MEETING**

No one can be more anxious to resolve the matters surrounding Sinclair than I am, so while I wait for Vern to arrive for our early morning conference, I get to work.

The Donovan case is where I start. After reviewing the documents, including the report by Agent McGraw, I believe that the drug case is prosecutable. When Sinclair's arrested, it will certainly call the credibility of the arresting agent into question, but the evidence wasn't gathered by only Agent Sinclair. Between the evidence and the two other 'credible' agents who can testify to the leads followed and to the acquisition of evidence, the case is strong. If the prosecution is ready for the defense's foreseeable request to have the case thrown out when Sinclair is arrested, the case is still winnable, in my opinion.

I'm making my final notes on the Donovan case when Vern arrives.

I fill Vern in and let him peruse the reports himself to see if he sees anything that would lead him to a different conclusion.

By the time that Vern's read the reports and agreed with my conclusion, I've written my notes, and the Donovan case is ready to be presented to Landon. The last two lines of my findings read: This case is an excellent example of Sinclair's failure to follow proper procedure in recent weeks. I believe that it's an excellent place for IA to begin their questioning and that they should work back in time to the Emerson case.

Vern agrees with, not only my assessment of the case, but also with the tactic to be used by IA in questioning Sinclair. With the Donovan case reviewed, we move to the Emerson case.

We've read over the reports in this case at least a dozen times, but we need to be sure that we have all of our facts in order before we speak to Landon. We start our review with the one report that became available only yesterday, Agent McGraw's.

Though we're familiar with the contents of the other reports, we read over each one of the remaining handful of reports again before we begin our discussion of how we want to present our findings to Landon.

Vern and I agree that perhaps the easiest way to present the injustice done to Master Chief Emerson is to simply let him read Agent McGraw's report and statement.

We hope to get in to see Landon before the morning meeting.

Since we have a few minutes before Landon arrives, we decide to look over the file that we have on Agent McGraw's death.

Vern sighs after looking at one of the crime scene photos that we have spread out on my desk.

"I was sure that Sinclair killed McGraw, but the note to his mother says straight out that he was goin' to take the pills that killed him."

"I know what you mean." I pick up the picture of McGraw's body in the car. "It's the fact that he was found in his car that doesn't make sense to me. That's the only reason why I suspect foul play. The pieces just don't fit together. It's like we've put together a jigsaw puzzle, and the one piece that we have left to put in the puzzle doesn't look like it belongs there, but it _has _to because it's the last piece in the box."

"Yeah, it _is_ like that." Vern sighs again. "Have you checked the evidence inventory yet to see if the watch is on it?"

"No, but the list is here. Let's take a look now." I pull the list from the file and look it over. "No, it isn't listed."

"I'll make a request of the crime scene unit to take a look around the house. Two of Sinclair's men were the first on the scene. It's an expensive watch. I hope that neither of them gave into temptation and took it," Vern states flatly.

"I hope not, too." It's my turn to sigh. "Let's pick up this stuff and head to Landon's office."

**CONFERENCE ROOM**

**MORNING MEETING ABOUT TO BEGIN**

Vern and I enter the room, and everyone else is already present, so we move to take our seats and wait for Landon.

Landon seemed to have a mixed reaction to our report. He was relieved that there'd been something to find, so he'd done the right thing in calling for the investigation, but he was furious at Sinclair for not only his actions, but the pain that his actions has caused others: Emerson is in jail for a crime that he didn't commit and McGraw took his own life, being unable to cope with the guilt or to face the consequences of his actions.

We left Landon in his office a few moments ago to call the IA people and bring them up to speed. The next move will be up to them.

Vern and I are tense as the others start to get restless, waiting for Landon to arrive for the meeting. What happens next causes everything to come together for me.

The young man filling in for Jane asks Sinclair, "What time is it?"

Sinclair lets out an exasperated snort and lifts his arm to glance at his watch. "It's past time for this meeting to start. That's what time it is," he snaps.

My eyes sort of roll at Sinclair's rude behavior, but when my eyes catch sight of Sinclair's watch, I have to stare at it. It isn't the same watch that he was wearing a few days ago. The one that he wore a few days ago was gold.

"Hey, Sinclair, you have a watch for every day of the week? You were wearing a gold one the other day," I comment.

"Not one for every day, but I have a couple...not that it's any of your business, Rabb," Sinclair responds.

I know that my question has clued in Vern to my suspicions, but I wish that he'd been able to see the pictures that flashed in my head within a second or two of seeing Sinclair's watch. The first shot was of Sinclair's watch from the other day, then today's watch, followed by a picture of the bruise on Mac's back, and then the crime scene photo of the unexplained bruise on the underside of McGraw's left arm. By the end of the short slide show, I was sure that I had the last piece of the puzzle.

Before I can signal to Vern that we need to make an exit so that we can talk, Landon enters the room.

"I'm sorry that I'm late, but I've been on the phone with Internal Affairs. It seems that we're being audited and there are agents on their way over with some questions about a few things, so let's make our reports brief this morning."

**AFTER THE MEETING **

Landon ends the meeting and says, "Agent Sinclair, it seems that the IA people want to see you first. Please report to interrogation room one immediately."

"Sir, I have something new to share with you," I say to Landon, trying not to set off Sinclair's alarm bells.

"I have a few questions for you, too. After you and Agent O'Malley escort Agent Sinclair to the interrogation room, come to my office, and we can wrap up all of our business then," Landon replies.

Richard Sinclair's mind shifted into gear the second that Landon announced that he was to meet with IA in an interrogation room. If he played it cool, he thought that he could slip right out of whatever they thought they had.

Of course, he reasoned that, if he was going to meet with Internal Affairs, it might not be about him at all. He didn't need to assume the worst, yet he still needed be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Which agent was having a hard time? Could he tilt the exchange to point a finger at them? Sinclair smiled as his thoughts moved to Rabb. Landon had said that he had questions for Rabb. Rabb must be in some kind of hot water himself. Sinclair decided that, if he got Rabb riled up, he'd be too keyed up to think when he talked to Landon and he wouldn't be able to come up with a cover story to keep himself out of trouble.

At the very least, he'd be getting under Rabb's skin, and that was one thing that gave him a great deal of satisfaction.

I can't believe that we've been able to get out of the conference room, into the elevator and down the two floors to where the interrogation rooms are located without Sinclair asking a single question or saying a word.

"Rabb, do you want to know what I did last weekend?" Sinclair asks smugly.

"Not really," I say aloud while silently cursing myself for getting my hopes up that, with only the length of one hall to go before reaching room one, he'd be silent the entire way.

"I took in some sights. I went to an art gallery in La Jolla and I took a walk on the beach. I have to tell you that it isn't just your wife who's good looking. You've got a good looking mom and daughter, too. Hell, the boy isn't bad looking either."

I stop in my tracks, and Sinclair and Vern follow suit. "Let me give you a piece of advice. If you feel compelled to go after anyone in my family, you won't have to worry about them questioning you about anything. You'll be in no condition to talk."

"You gonna beat me up, Rabb?" Sinclair asks.

I lower my voice, turn to stand toe-to-toe with him and look him in the eye. "No, you go after my family, and I'll put you in a body bag."

"I think you mean that, Rabb. Did you hear that, Vern? The golden boy threatened me."

"I thought that he was explainin' the theory of cause and effect to you. You know what I mean. If you cause anyone he cares about to be hurt or suffer, it'll affect your health and well bein'." Vern pauses. "Or maybe he was talkin' to you about readin' tea leaves or somethin'. I can't be sure with these old ears of mine. Sometimes they don't hear right."

The conversation ends there because two unfamiliar agents are coming towards us, and we suspect that they're the agents who are going to 'interview' Sinclair.

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

While we'd been in the morning meeting, Internal Affairs had begun the process of getting a search warrant for Sinclair's apartment.

Once Vern and I had turned Sinclair over to the IA agents for questioning, I give Vern a quick overview of my theory on our trip back to Landon's office.

After explaining what Vern and I have agreed happened to Agent McGraw, Landon is on the phone again.

This time, he's making sure that the search warrant that he'd asked to be issued would cover finding a gold watch.

Landon hangs up the phone. Having been told that the search warrant had been issued a few minutes ago and receiving conformation that the warrant would allow a watch to be taken as evidence, Landon immediately dispatches Vern and me to meet the IA team at Sinclair's place because he wants two people present whom he trusts to make sure that Sinclair doesn't get away with anything.

After Landon assures us that he'll see to it that Sinclair stays in interrogation while the search is being conducted, even if he has to have him questioned about every case on which he's ever worked, Vern and I leave for Sinclair's place.

**OUTSIDE INTERROGATION ROOM ONE**

**SEVERAL HOURS LATER**

Vern taps on the door to get the IA people to come out to see what we've got.

The two agents come out and assume that we're there to find out if Sinclair has talked. They're pleasantly surprised when we tell them that we bring news of what was found at Sinclair's place during the search. When we add our theory about Agent McGraw's death, we have the full attention of the two agents who are questioning Sinclair.

The two agents return to the interrogation room and request that Sinclair give them the watch that he's wearing.

Vern and I can hear Sinclair through the door yelling, "Why the hell do you want my watch? I've had the watch for years. Does this have something to do with Rabb thinking that I have a watch collection?"

When the agents bring out Sinclair's watch, we have a few minutes to talk to them while we wait for someone from the lab to come and get the watch for testing. The taller agent's first question is, "Why did we want his watch?"

We wanted his watch because we think that the face matches the size and shape of a bruise found on an agent's body. Vern and I have time to give the IA agents a brief version of our theory while we wait for the lab person to arrive.

Also, during the time that we have, Vern makes the suggestion that he and I go into the room. The IA agents can listen from the observation room. Vern tells them that there were pictures of my family taken last weekend that were spread all over the coffee table at Sinclair's place. Vern suggests that he has some kind of obsession with either me or my life and that, if I question him, it might be just the stressor that we need to break him.

While Vern is wrapping up his argument for us to get a chance to question Sinclair, we're joined by Landon and an IA supervisor. After Vern repeats his case to them that we should get a shot at Sinclair, Landon and the IA supervisor agree to let me go in with one of the IA agents instead of Vern.

Before we step into the interrogation room, I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I turn to see who it is, it's Landon.

"He already has a bad case of dislike for you. You might make it worse by going in there. If he doesn't crack, no one can be sure that he won't come after you or your family."

"Sir, I was at his place. I saw the pictures that he took of my family. Even if I don't go in to question him, my family won't be safe until he's behind bars. So I have no problem with going in there to see if we can put him away today...but thank you for your concern."

I follow Agent Stiller into the interrogation room and, as soon as we're both in the room, Sinclair speaks. "Rabb, what are you doing in here? Back to begin another round? You boys forget that I do this for a living. You aren't going to get me to confess to anything, so why are you trying? Tell them, Rabb. They don't have enough evidence, right, man?"

From his tone when he says 'enough evidence,' I suspect that it's a shot at me, referring to my not allowing him to arrest Fitzgerald. There's a lot riding on my ability to maintain my professionalism and military bearing in this room. The safety of my family means everything to me, so he won't goad me into using any unwise words or punching him now. I casually sit down and calmly respond to his question.

"They aren't trying to make you confess. They don't need your confession. They have statements from a couple of your lady friends and there's a statement by your now deceased partner." I lean back in my chair. The words that I use next should ring a bell with Sinclair. It's from that conversation - or should I say confrontation - concerning the Fitzgerald case. "Any lawyer - wouldn't even have to be a good one - could make a case out of what they have on you."

Agent Stiller speaks. "Yeah, Captain Rabb here is just filling in for my partner while he runs that watch of yours down to the lab. It seems that the boys upstairs want us to keep you company while they process it, and SOP for us in IA is never to have just one agent minding the suspect."

I see Sinclair flinch when Stiller calls him a suspect.

Stiller looks at me. "Since we aren't going to get him to talk, you got anything that you want to discuss while we wait? You know, you into golfing or something that we could talk about until my partner gets back?"

"Yeah, I like to play golf. I played a few weeks ago, but I had to share someone's clubs. Mine aren't here from my previous duty station yet."

"Where did you play?"

"Torrey Pines."

"Great course, I hear. I couldn't afford to walk by the place. Who did you rob for the green fees to play there?"

"I didn't pay. My stepfather is a member of the club there, and he or the two we played paid any fees that day."

"This stepfather of yours, he want another son?" the IA agent asks teasingly. "I've heard a lot about the course, but I've never played there."

"'I tell you what. Once my clubs arrive, I'll give you a call, and we'll go play 18 holes. What do you say?"

Agent Stiller reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and produces a business card. "I'd say here's my number. When are you expecting your clubs to be here?"

I reach for the business card. "When they shipped my stuff from Naples, they said it would take four to six weeks. It should be any day now. I -"

Sinclair interrupts. "I think you two make a lovely couple. Perhaps I should leave the two of you alone to get better acquainted." He makes another attempt to bait me. "You can stay here and get all lovey-dovey with your new friend and, when you two get finished, you can find me getting friendly with a pretty Marine colonel. Rabb knows where to find her place."

Sinclair stands up like he's going to leave. Agent Stiller is closer to the door and makes a beeline to put himself between the door and Sinclair.

"Why don't you just have a seat and relax, Agent Sinclair?"

"Why should I sit here any longer? I'm not humoring you anymore. You need to charge me with something or let me walk out of here...and I want my watch back, now!"

There's a tap on the door, and Agent Stiller moves towards Sinclair, prepared to face-off with him if need be. The door opens, and it's Agent Stiller's partner.

"I wanted to tell you that the lab called. They found some skin cells and a hair along the edge of the face of the watch that we sent up. DNA will take a few days, but they said that they should have a blood type for us in a little bit."

"I've been wearing that watch almost every day for years. Of course they'd find skin and hair, you idiots...mine." Sinclair sounds agitated.

"I also thought that I'd bring in some things for you all to talk about while we wait on the results of the blood test." Stiller's partner drops a file folder and an evidence bag with a gold watch in it onto the table and leaves the room.

Agent Stiller flips the cover of the folder open. The folder has an inventory sheet of items seized during the search of Sinclair's place, photos of some of the things that were too big or bulky to carry around and a list in Sinclair's handwriting of his 'Things To Do.'

After Stiller has taken a quick inventory of the items before us in a way that allows Sinclair to see the contents, too, Stiller asks the first question. "It seems that you have a whole slew of pictures of the captain alone, with other people, and then some of just the other people. My guess is that the others are Rabb's family. Tell me, Agent Sinclair, are you in charge of his fan club or are you just obsessed with him?"

"Why would I be a fan of his?" Sinclair growls.

"I guess that makes it an obsession then." Stiller looks at me. "I found it odd that, when we came in the room a while ago, he said that he wouldn't confess to anything, not that he hadn't done anything. Good thing, because, at the very least, he's a stalker. The inventory says that there are ninety-seven pictures of you and/or members of your family. Nice looking family, by the way, Rabb. I've got a couple of kids that are probably close to the boy's age. We should get together. My wife is always telling me that we need more friends as a couple."

Stiller looks back at Sinclair. "Where was I with you? Oh, yes," he says as he picks up a photo. "Who's the attractive woman in the large portrait on the wall behind your couch? You have the big picture in a prominent place and a handful of smaller ones of her around your apartment, but you aren't in any of the photos, so I doubt that you cared for her very much."

Sinclair's eyes turn cold, and I know that we've hit the summit of the slippery slope. "I love that woman and she loves me," he says curtly.

Vern had recognized her portrait at Sinclair's place and had told me that she'd once been a receptionist at NCIS. We put two and two together and figured out that she's the woman that Landon had told us about, the now Mrs. Michaels.

"Yeah, she loves you so much that she married Agent Michaels," I interject, letting the knowledge of what I know keep Sinclair from recovering and easing down off the summit.

If we were in a cartoon, Sinclair would have smoke coming out of his ears right now. "He told her lies to get her to choose him. She loves me."

"I see that your list of things to do does include marrying her, along with taking charge of team one, ridding the world of Rabb, and something that's smudged that I can't read."

I didn't hear a question in that and I don't want to lose our momentum, so I'm about to ask something when Stiller speaks again. "You know, I just figured out the reason for your obsession with Rabb. He has a well-respected position at a level that has some power at work and a beautiful and loving wife and family. He has everything that you want with this woman, a woman you can't have. You've made every move based on obtaining the respect or power that you thought that it would take to win her back."

A few more questions and a couple of observations about his lost love, and Sinclair is sweating, and then Stiller switches gears. "So, how did killing a man in cold blood and sending Master Chief Emerson to jail for the crime fit into your plan, exactly?"

Sinclair is annoyed, and his jaw tightens. "I'm not sitting through this any longer. I've got work to do. I'd tell you how much of my time you've wasted, but you took my watch."

I pick up the evidence bag with the gold watch in it. I lift it up and look at Stiller. "Isn't that funny? He said that you took his watch, but we haven't even discussed this watch - the one found at his place. So, we haven't established that this is also his watch."

"You just said that you got it from my place. A gold Rolex isn't the kind of watch that I'd want to wear around here, but it is mine."

"You wore it here a few days ago," I state.

"I was meeting a lady friend for drinks right after work. I was wearing it to impress her so that she'd want to go out with me again."

"If it's your watch, tell me what's engraved on the back," I say as I turn it over. I'm playing it cool because I know what's engraved on it. Vern and I took a look at it at Sinclair's apartment when it was taken as evidence.

"I don't know. I didn't look at the back when I bought it. I got it from a pawn shop, dirt cheap. I thought that it was going to be a knock off, but it turns out that it's a real Rolex."

Stiller's in the game again with a question. "You got a receipt for the watch?"

"I didn't keep it."

Stiller sticks with it. "You bought a watch that's a real gold Rolex, and you didn't keep the receipt to cover your ass if someone started asking questions about how you could afford such an expensive watch? I thought you told me and my partner earlier that you were a good agent. That doesn't make me think that you're very smart."

"I'm smarter than you. I'm not staying here another minute unless you're going to charge me." Sinclair stands and takes a step towards the door.

When Agent Stiller doesn't try to stop him, Sinclair offers one of his superior, 'smarter than you' grins before beginning to strut to the door in victory.

He opens the door, and Landon and the IA supervisor are there. "Arrest him," they say in unison. Landon adds, "We have the preliminary results back on both watches."

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**QUITTING TIME**

It's been a long day. Sinclair was arrested mid-afternoon, and the rest of my day has been spent filling out or catching up on paperwork.

A couple of hours ago, Vern came by to tell me that he'd spoken to Mrs. McGraw and that the news that we'd found the watch had made her very happy. So happy in fact that, when he'd told her that it would have to be held as evidence for a little while, she'd jokingly said, "My grandson won't be graduating from college for a few years yet. Do you think I'll have it by then?"

Vern also delivered the news that Sinclair had said that he didn't think that we'd put the pieces of the puzzle together. Surprisingly, the fact that we'd been able to put enough together so that we could arrest him must have shocked him because, once he'd been booked, he'd started talking. Perhaps he wasn't really in shock, but he preferred the interrogation room for spilling his guts to that of being locked in a cell like a common criminal. He certainly thought that he was far superior to be called 'common' in any category.

As I pack up my things to head home, I find that I'm unusually hungry.

We didn't take time for lunch today. I think I'll stop and pick up something for dinner on the way home.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO **

We haven't had time alone since we got home, so once Ty is tucked in for the night, Mac and I make our way to our room.

As soon as the door is closed behind us, Mac says, "I got the reports and files that you sent over. I can believe that Emerson is innocent, but that Sinclair is the real killer is a shocker! What was his motive for killing the guy?"

"The shooting was a mistake. Sinclair thought that the victim was pulling a gun, but he wasn't. He was reaching for his wallet, probably preparing to show his ID. If you think that's something, you should hear how you helped to put the last piece of the puzzle in place in Agent McGraw's death."

"How did I help?"

"The other day when we met here for lunch, you got that bruise from my watch, remember?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how my bruise helped."

"It all came together when I saw Sinclair's watch today. The face of the watch that he was wearing was an elongated rectangle, and it would make the size and shape of a bruise found on McGraw. Turn around, and I'll show you." I slip my hands under her arms near her armpits until my hands are able to reach her chest. You see, if you were a six foot, 180 pound man who was dead weight because he was unconscious from taking too many migraine pills, I'd have to drag you to the garage to kill you and make it look like a suicide."

"And my dead weight pressing against the face of your watch would leave a bruise on the underside of my arm shaped like the face of your watch."

"Exactly," I say as I pull my arms back.

"I thought that McGraw's death _was_ a suicide."

"It was, technically, but Sinclair didn't know that McGraw had overdosed. Once I figured out the bruise part, the rest was easy. At some point during their conversation outside NCIS, not later at McGraw's home like Sinclair had said originally, Agent McGraw told Sinclair that he was going to go home, take some migraine medicine and get some sleep. When Sinclair arrived, McGraw was unconscious, but Sinclair thought that he was just out of it from taking the medication and saw his opportunity to kill him to keep him from telling me the truth. Unaware that McGraw had taken a lethal dose of his meds and that he'd have died if he'd just left him, Sinclair went about his plan to kill McGraw while making it look like he'd committed suicide. Sinclair dragged McGraw to his car and started the engine to let McGraw breathe in enough carbon monoxide to kill him while he slept. Sinclair probably noticed McGraw's expensive watch while he was positioning him in the car. Anyway, at some point while he was there, he took it. Sinclair typed a short suicide note on McGraw's laptop and left. Another thing that Sinclair didn't know is that Agent McGraw was afraid that Sinclair would get his hands on the incriminating information if he left it in his apartment, so McGraw had sent the information and his suicide note to his mother."

"Did Sinclair confess?"

"Not at first during questioning, but after he'd been arrested, I hear that he started talking."

"I didn't see Sinclair as the type to confess."

"I don't think that he is, really. I think that, confronted with the facts, he just opted to confess, hoping to get some consideration when it comes to sentencing. There was an underarm hair with the follicle attached found under the rim of the collar that holds in the glass face of Sinclair's watch that can be used to get a DNA match. The preliminary run on the hair gave us McGraw's blood type. The gold Rolex that was found at Sinclair's matches the watch that Mrs. McGraw was looking for and, when you combine the engraved initials and the date matching the description, plus the fact that the watch had at least one identifiable fingerprint on the watchband that's McGraw's, it's pretty obvious that it was McGraw's watch. With the statement from a woman from records about Sinclair asking her to 'lose' a file, the statement and supporting documents that McGraw provided us and the watch evidence, I think that Sinclair had a 'they aren't as dumb as I thought' moment, and he resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't as smart as he'd thought he was.

"Maybe you should have been a detective instead of a lawyer," Mac says with a grin.

"Nah, I like my life just the way it is. Besides, everyone knows that it's the lawyer who feels a great deal of pride and gets a lot of satisfaction when the judge's gavel comes down in court and he knows that justice has been served."

"Or _she _does," she says teasingly.

"Yeah, or _she_ knows that justice was served," I reply before I deliver a toe-curling kiss to her luscious lips.


	95. Chapter 95

**EPILOGUE**

**SATURDAY, MAY 13, 2006 **

As if the scheduled swim and errands for the day hadn't already made for a busy day, the evening was going to be filled with activity as well.

Tonight was the special gallery night, special because tonight's event was the one for which Trish had given Mattie a 'section' that had been hers to plan.

Not only did Harm and Mac attend the gallery event, but Ty went along to see his big sister's work, too.

Trish had asked Mattie to run a youth corner, and Mattie had focused her attention on her current passion, photography.

Trish had put Mattie in control of everything from the selection of the photos to the display and arrangement of them for the event.

Harm and Mac were very proud of Mattie, as were Trish and Frank.

Ty didn't really understand, but he was happy to be there with everyone on a night that was special for Mattie.

Since all of the photos that Mattie had displayed had been sold before Harm and Mac had left with Ty so that they could get him home to bed, they'd been there when Trish had asked Mattie to do a youth corner for every gallery event.

Mattie's response had been, "I think that every gallery night would be too much for me with school, but if I could do one every other month, I'd love to do it."

**SUNDAY, MAY 14, 2006**

**MOTHER'S DAY **

Mac had been taken by surprise when she'd entered the kitchen to start breakfast and found that Mattie, with her helper, Ty, had made breakfast for her for Mother's Day.

The sweet gesture caused Mac to tear up, but she was able to keep any tears from falling, afraid that they wouldn't be seen as the tears of joy that they were.

Mac had seen Harm off to his mother's and then gone about doing some laundry, thrilled that Mattie had done something special for her for Mother's Day before she'd gone out for her usual swim date with Paul.

Harm arrived at his mother's house, dressed in still his only suit, with a bouquet of mixed flowers to take his mother to brunch.

When Trish saw him, she asked, "What's the occasion?"

He offered her the flowers and responded, "I usually send a card because I'm not able to be here for this special day, so I thought that I'd take my mom out to eat on this Mother's Day and tell her that I think that she's a special lady."

Trish didn't try to stop her tears from falling.

Frank took care of putting the flowers in a vase while Trish touched up her make up and changed into something more suited to Harm's more formal attire for their brunch date.

Harm invited Frank to come along, but he declined, stating that just the two of them should celebrate Mother's Day this year.

When Harm returned from taking his mother to brunch, he changed his clothes before helping Mac fold some laundry. Then he and Ty went out to check over the Corvette.

When Mattie came in, Mac, Harm and Ty were watching a movie. Mattie sat down with them to watch the rest of that movie and then she suggested the next movie that they should watch.

After the second movie, Harm gave Mattie the prearranged signal to take Ty upstairs to get ready to go out to dinner.

With the children upstairs, Harm casually suggested to Mac that they all go someplace nice for dinner. Mac teased that any nice restaurant would be booked because of Mother's Day. Harm smiled. "It's a good thing that I made reservations two weeks ago then, isn't it?"

Mac smiled, touched by his thoughtfulness. Mac didn't know that breakfast and now dinner were only part of her very first Mother's Day surprises.

When Mac and Harm came down dressed for dinner, Ty presented Mac with a box and said, "Mattie and me were hoping that you'd wear this tonight."

Mac opened the box to find the charm bracelet that Harm had given her on their honeymoon, but it was different.

Mac quickly counted once and then a second time. There were two new charms on her bracelet. She lifted the bracelet from the box, and Harm reached for it. As he wrapped it around her wrist to fasten it for her, she saw the new charms clearly for the first time. One new charm was a little boy silhouette - she recognized the shape from when she'd picked out Mattie's 'girl' shaped charm. If the 'boy' was from Ty, then the other charm must be from Mattie. The other charm had "Best Mom" written in the center of a heart shaped charm.

Mac was too stunned to say much, but she managed to say, "Thank you." Then she hugged Mattie and Ty as a few tears fell.

Ty was concerned by Mac's tears and, when he questioned her about them, she couldn't speak. She hadn't regained her voice.

"I think they're happy tears. Grandma shed a few today, too, when I took her to brunch," Harm explained.

"Are they happy tears, Mac?" Ty asked.

Mac nodded and hugged Ty again for his concern about her. A few minutes later, Mac had recovered, and they left for dinner.

Dinner was at a very nice restaurant, and Mac was sorry that her dinner had left her stuffed, because the desserts looked divine.

Once back in the comfort of their home, Mattie presented another box to Mac before anyone went upstairs.

"Another present for me?"

"Two," Ty replied as he presented another smaller box. "Harm got you a present, too."

Mac opened the bigger box to find the picture that the three had had taken while she'd been in Washington. Mattie had put it in a dark wood frame that caused the light background of the picture to stand out, framing their pose perfectly.

Mac pulled the picture to her chest and hugged it. "I love it. I've been wanting a picture of my family for my desk at work to remind me when I'm having a bad day that I have all of you. This is the perfect picture for that. Thank you." She handed the picture to Harm to hold and gave each child another hug.

The smaller box held the bottle of perfume that Harm had bought for Mac.

Mac gave Harm a warm smile and a thank you, but he was a little jealous that he didn't get a hug, too.

After Ty was tucked in, Harm and Mac made their way to the master bedroom.

Once in the privacy of their room, Mac slipped her arms up around Harm's neck and pulled him into a loving, tender kiss that deepened quickly.

When their lips parted, she said breathlessly, "Thank you for the perfume, for dinner, for creating a family with me...for loving me."

"That kiss makes up for not rewarding me with a hug like the kids got," Harm said breathlessly.

"They say that patience is a virtue, Harm. You may not have liked waiting for your thank you, but you liked it, didn't you?"

"So much that I want to thank you for your thank you." Harm pulled her into another kiss and another, each kiss layering over the other until their mutual yearnings led them to making love before sleeping.

Without the threat of Agent Sinclair hanging over them, Harm and Mac had been able to relax and, along with their regular activities, enjoy the weekend.

With their children, they'd managed to have some special moments of which they'd treasure the memories for a long time to come.

It was amazing how easy and good life was once justice had been served.


	96. Chapter 96

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN - INTERNAL CONFLICT**

**PROLOGUE**

**MONDAY, MAY 15, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE, JLS**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

Having taken the key out of my purse, I sit down at my desk to unlock the bottom drawer.

I pull the drawer slowly open and take out a 5X7 fabric-covered book that I keep in the very back of it.

I remove the rubber band around the book, remembering the Sunday that the San Diego Union Tribune newspaper came rolled up in it, and I'd thought that it would be the perfect size to keep my folded papers from falling from the book every time I took it out of the drawer.

I place the un-banded floral fabric-covered book on my desk.

I lift the cover and expose the folded pieces of paper that I keep behind the front cover.

Even if there's no time to write anything in the pages of my journal, I take the time every morning to make sure that the computer-generated calendar that I print out every month and keep folded up in this book is up-to-date.

I lift my pen and make a hand-drawn star on yesterday's date. The mark that I made indicates that Harm and I made love last night.

At the suggestion of my doctor at my appointment towards the end of last year, I started keeping the calendar at the first of the year.

From January, when I returned from Christmas in London, until the end of March when Harm moved to San Diego, keeping the calendar was very simple. I pulled out the calendar twice a month, once to document the day that I started my period and the other to document the day that my period ended, but with Harm living here now, I find that I have the calendar out almost daily.

The notes that I used to make before I went to sleep while he lived overseas didn't work from the very first night that he got here, so I'd brought the journal and the calendars to the office in my briefcase to make notes here the morning after Harm arrived in San Diego.

I'd carried the journal in my briefcase back and forth for a couple of weeks before I decided that the office was the best place to keep it.

Marking the calendar and entering any thoughts into my journal has become part of my routine when I first arrive at the office each morning.

Scanning over the marks on this month alone, I can tell my doctor that I'm not pregnant for lack of trying.

I know that the doctor said that the information could be useful in helping to decide the best plan of action concerning becoming pregnant, but I feel 'funny' keeping track of the number of times that Harm and I are intimate. However, I've remained diligent in keeping the record because having a baby means so much to me and to my relationship with Harm.

Along with the calendar suggestion, the doctor suggested that I keep a journal. She said that I didn't have to write in it every day, but that I should write in it every time I have an emotional event take place, any event that brings out either positive or negative feelings.

The doctor's reasoning for keeping the journal was that it's sometimes a useful source to see if a patient is under stress, depressed or is experiencing any other emotion that could be the result of hormonal changes in the body.

I'm not sure that I believe her, but she cited a case where a woman was depressed a good deal of the time and, once she was placed on antidepressants, she was pregnant within a couple of months.

Having made my star on the calendar, I re-fold the paper and place it back inside the cover.

Once I've replaced the papers in the book, I flip over a few pages to make a few notes in my journal about last weekend.


	97. Chapter 97

**PART ONE – Mac's Morning Routine **

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 24, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE, JLS**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

**EARLY MORNING**

I drop into my chair behind my desk. The chair was new when I first sat in it seven months ago, but now it fits like a glove. It remembers my shape and rises up to welcome me when I sit down and lean back against the cool leather. I've had a personally rough few days, so this chair and my office have been my solace.

I go through my morning ritual and pull my journal from its hiding place at the back of the bottom drawer of my desk. Perhaps a review of the last week of my journal will help me work through what's wrong with me.

Afraid that the pages will reveal more than I want to face, at first I'm reluctant to open the book.

However, hoping that the little bits and pieces of myself that I leave in ink on these pages will provide me with an answer, I force myself to flip it open.

Pinching a small stack of pages between my thumb and index finger, I flip over a few pages. As if fate has guided my hand, the book is now open to Monday the 15th, the day after Mother's Day.

I'm drawn to the words that I wrote and read them over carefully.

**MONDAY, MAY 15, 2006**

On Friday, Harm had accumulated enough evidence to have the NCIS agent arrested whom he'd been worried was so unstable that he might pose a threat to our family. It was nice to be able to let my guard down, relax and enjoy a weekend.

Saturday was wonderful, but Sunday was a perfect day.

Mattie made me breakfast and was sweet enough to let Ty do enough that he felt like he helped. When I asked why they'd made breakfast, my heart filled with emotion at the reply: "Because it's Mother's Day!"

I thought that was a great Mother's Day for a woman who hadn't given birth to either one of the two children who were smiling at her over breakfast, but it would turn out to be only a start to a wonderful day of memories.

I was given several gifts. One was a little boy charm with Ty's name engraved on one side with his birth date, and engraved on the other side was the date that we were given custody of him. I also received a charm from Mattie that proclaimed me as 'Best Mom.' I think that charm is the most meaningful to me because it symbolizes how far she and I have come.

Harm and the children took me to a very nice dinner at the Cove Restaurant in La Jolla. The food was wonderful, but the cost of the dinner made it a place to eat for only very special occasions.

At home after dinner, I received a picture of Harm, Ty and Mattie, and a bottle of perfume.

Once Harm had left Ty's bedroom for me to complete the tucking in ritual as usual, Ty asked if it was okay with me that he'd bought me a Mother's Day gift. He said that Harm had said that it was okay because he wanted me to be his mom, and that counted.

For not the first time that day, I got emotional. I kissed Ty on the forehead and told him that Harm was absolutely right. Wanting me to be his mom counted, and I was happy that he wanted me to be his mom enough for him to let me know it on a day set aside for telling moms that they're special.

Ty then wanted to know if it counted the same way for Father's Day. Could he get something for Harm for Father's Day because he wanted Harm to be his dad?

I love Ty, and the fear of losing him is with me every day. You'd think that knowing the love of a child, especially in the form of our wonderful son, Tyler, would lessen my desire to have a child. However, my Mother's Day experience seems to have had the opposite effect. I want a baby now more than ever.

The growing desire to have a baby brings with it feelings of guilt. With the guilt comes a degree of shame, shame because of the way it sounds to say that I want a baby even though we have Ty, as if I'm not grateful for the gift of Tyler that Harm and I have been given.

I am grateful to have Ty in our lives. I love him so much that I carry a pocketful of fear within me every day that something will happen and that the adoption won't be finalized in September.

I can't imagine our lives without him in it.

For all of the rational thoughts that I have about Tyler, including my knowledge that I love that little boy as if he were my own flesh and blood, it still doesn't change my desire to be not only a mom, but to experience pregnancy and be a mother.

As I told Dr. McCool, Harriet said that it's like collaborating with God. I want to know what that's like.

This morning as I write this reflective recap, I see that my Mother's Day had both an up and a down side to it.

The sadness that I felt that Sunday evening after we'd gone to bed is brought back to me with my own words, and I want to stop reading, but I think that I've hit the source of my brooding mood and I continue, seeking conformation.

**Thursday, May 18, 2006**

Harm arrived at the end of March and, though we had some 'settling in' problems, it was something that we overcame, and the weeks that followed were a continuation of the honeymoon that we'd started six months earlier.

However, the way we ended up finally together and the thrill of having him here in bed with me each night has caused a problem that I never saw coming.

Slowly, since his arrival, I've begun to believe that there's no obstacle that we can't overcome together. The problem is that that feeling has led me to believe that love will conquer all, including my infertility issues. It's been only two months, but each month I've allowed myself to get my hopes up that the power of our love will be enough on it's own for me to get pregnant.

Harm had been in town for only a couple of weeks when we were on our way to Virginia to pick up Tyler, but with my period two days late, I was already trying to decide how I wanted to tell Harm that I was pregnant.

In Virginia, when my period did arrive, I was disappointed. I was aware that Tyler's adoption was stressful, and with that stress and coming off the stress of learning to share my space with Harm that I'd just gone through, I was able to see how unreasonable it was of me to think that I could be pregnant that quickly after Harm's arrival.

After thinking it through, I dismissed my feeling of disappointment and focused on the joy of having Tyler in my life. I embraced this alternate form of motherhood with a loving heart and arms opened wide.

I'd felt tired last night, and Harm had slipped his arms around me and held me close, and we'd slept curled up together in the middle of the bed. We'd made love the night before and, when I'd marked our lovemaking on the calendar on Wednesday morning, I'd seen that the forecasted day for me to start was today. Even with that information right in front of me, I let my heart tell my mind that my fatigue was a sign that this would be the month that I'd trade bloating for weight gain and nine months of cramps for the pains of labor that would bring forth my miracle baby.

Last night, I began my five nights of changing for bed in the bathroom, and I'm more than disappointed. I'm so upset that I can't even think of a word that describes how I feel at this moment.

Harm and I have been together, but we haven't even been to the specialist yet. If I'm this upset, disappointed and feeling despondent over not conceiving in the last two months, how am I going to feel when we're more actively trying and I don't get pregnant?

**Monday, May 22, 2006 **

Saturday was wonderful. We had a great time at the beach. Harm slept in a little later than usual, and we all went to the beach together. We met Paul there and, after he and Harm swam a couple of miles, we all walked up to the Burnett home and had breakfast.

Letting our breakfast settle, we watched cartoons on Frank's big screen TV before Harm, Ty and I went back down to the beach, and Paul took Mattie to work.

Watching Harm and Ty play at the water's edge and run after each other on the beach, I realized that it's too soon to bring a baby into our lives. Ty needs this time with us to feel secure with us being his parents before we expand our family.

Sunday was more time at home and doing the usual chores, but it was still a good day, followed by a good meal at the Burnett home.

Over dinner, we started to make more concrete plans for this weekend.

We're supposed to put our gear on board Frank's boat on Friday evening before meeting at the yacht club for dinner.

After dinner, we'll go down to the yacht and sleep aboard. We'll set sail early on Saturday morning and return to the dock on Monday afternoon.

I lift my pen to write an entry today.

**Wednesday, May 24, 2006**

What a difference a day can make! I'd thought that I'd let go of my immediate desire to try to have a baby, but that changed last night when Harm asked if I had a pen.

Harm brought home some work last night. It was only a couple of files, and he seemed to be moving through them fairly quickly. Since we still have no work space other than either the dining table or the coffee table, Harm opted to work upstairs in our bedroom so that he wouldn't be distracted by the movie that Ty and I wanted to watch.

Once Ty was in the bathtub, I checked on Harm to see if he was going to have time to read a story to Ty. Harm said in response to my question, "I'm not finished, but I'll make time to take my turn to read to our son. Let me know when he's out of the tub."

'What a good dad he is,' was my thought, but that thought alone isn't what had me thinking again about having a baby.

The push off of my emotional ledge happened when I came back in to tell Harm that Ty was getting into his pajamas so that he'd be ready for his first story - the one that Harm reads - pretty soon.

Harm said okay and then told me that his pen had run out ink and he couldn't find another one in his briefcase. He asked me if I had one in my purse or someplace upstairs so that he didn't have to go downstairs and look in the drawer that's so full that it should have anything that anyone could possibly need, yet never seems to have what he's searching for in it.

I knew that there was a pen in my night stand drawer. Before Harm came, I did most of my office work on the bed, and having a pen in there came in handy several times.

I reached in the drawer, and the pen was right there, but the title of one of the pamphlets that the doctor had given me at my appointment before I'd left for London to have Christmas with Harm and Mattie was staring up at me from the drawer.

Harm noticed my reaction and asked me what was in the drawer that made me look like I'd seen a ghost. I didn't cover how much the brochures shook me up very well. My voice was shaky, and I couldn't seem to form a sentence when I replied, "It's...well...I just didn't remember putting them in there, that's all."

Of course, that response left me open to: "Didn't remember putting what in there?"

I was able to keep my voice normal and, without sounding like a stuttering idiot, I answered, "Nothing really, just some informational pamphlets that the doctor gave me on my last visit."

"Really? Then pull them out, too. Our appointment is Friday. I should read them before we go."

In those few moments, the reality set in. I really don't have a choice in the timing of having a baby. I'm a slave to when the doctor tells me that I stand the best chance of getting pregnant.

Yes, just that quickly, the emotional wound of my infertility had the scab ripped off, and the open wound stung at the exposure to the air.

I did scoop the information out of the drawer along with the pen and drop it on the bed. I have no doubt that Harm will read them.

My fear is that he'll want to talk about them tonight.

I don't know if I can handle discussing this with him, given the importance of the subject matter to both me and our relationship, and the small chance that it will ever happen.

I know that I've spent too long at this very personal morning habit when I hear a knock on my door. Since I know the time without having to check my watch, I know that it's Petty Officer Coates right on time with my cup of coffee in one hand and the mail in the other.

I must say that having Jennifer here has been much nicer than I thought it would be. Though in front of General Cresswell and the others at McMurphy's, I'm sure that I sounded like I was a hundred percent behind the idea of having her in San Diego with me, but the truth is that she wasn't on my list to bring with me.

I knew that Jennifer wouldn't intentionally cause any damage or discomfort, but my apprehension was about the different methods that Harm and I have in how we do our jobs. I thought that I might hear a lot of 'Harm would ...' and I was leaving Harm behind - or at least I thought I was when I was making out my staffing list.

Even after she requested the transfer and I'd agreed to it, her loyalty to Harm concerned me.

I offer a small smile of gratitude as I accept the coffee and mail from Jennifer. "I was thinking that I haven't told you that I'm glad you're here. The office wouldn't be the same without you."

Jennifer stands a little straighter, and a prideful smile appears on her face. "Thank you, ma'am," she says before turning and leaving my office with a little more spring in her step.

I should've said more. I should've told her that I know that it's been hard to be around me for the past week. I would have, but Jennifer would've been concerned and asked if I wanted to talk about it.

Though I feel that Jennifer is a friend, more to Mattie and Harm than me, but a friend nonetheless, I don't want to gray the area between CO and yeoman.

That's a good reason, but not the only reason. I wouldn't know what to say. I don't know how I could convey to anyone what I'm feeling. Even if I could find the words, how could she ... how could anyone understand how I feel?

A couple of weeks ago, I was on high alert, watching the shadows, prepared to take down a disgruntled NCIS agent. Then, ten days ago, I'd been taken completely by surprise on Mother's Day.

A part of me knew that the desire to have a baby wouldn't go away unless I'm able to have one. However, I'd thought that I'd come to terms with my odds of having a baby, but even something like a wonderful Mother's Day that should have me feeling confidant that I'm already a mom brings the dream of having a baby back into my thoughts again.

I'd been so into the dream of motherhood that I'd been hoping that one of the times that Harm and I had made love would have resulted in a pregnancy, pregnant the way 'normal' women do, but I was living in a fairy tale world...a world that was demolished when my period arrived.

How could I explain to a woman of Jennifer's age how horrible it is to want to be pregnant and know that you have about the same odds as being struck by lightning that it will happen?

At Jennifer's age, I would have been mortified if my period hadn't come because I wasn't ready for motherhood. She can't understand how I'm feeling.

Harriet is closer to my age, though still younger. At Harriet's age, I knew that I wanted a child, maybe even children. In no way would I want to take away how devastating the loss of baby Sarah was, but even with that loss, she can have a child - she's had a child.

How could Harriet understand the pain of not being able to experience carrying the child of the man she loves? She has four wonderful and healthy children with Bud. She couldn't possibly understand my predicament.

I reach for my coffee and take a sip of the still piping hot liquid, admonishing myself that it's time to get to the mail and start my workday.

I reach for the first envelope, but a rapid two knocks on my door interrupts me, and I look up to see Petty Officer Coates opening the door a fraction of an inch, waiting for me to grant her entrance.

I let her off the hook. "Enter," I command. The door swings open, and she announces that I have an unscheduled visitor. It seems that Commander Witherspoon of the Naval Reserve Center, which is housed on several floors of this building where my JLS offices are located, has asked for a moment of my time.

I wonder if he's going to complain that we're noisy neighbors.

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**

The commander has just left my office. Please tell me that my whole day isn't going to be this strange. Did Coates say that he was an officer at the Naval Reserve Center or a babysitter?

After asking me several legal questions without being very specific, he's asked me to mediate a dispute between two officers in his command to a satisfactory resolution.

After a brief overview of the situation, I learn that the object at the center of the dispute is a rare coin.

I ask the commander to have each party involved submit a statement or letter to me as to why they feel that the coin belongs to them and to have it on my desk ASAP. Then I tell him that, once I get the letters, I'll give him a call, set up a time for a meeting where all parties involved are to be present and see if a civil agreement can be reached.

I'm teetering on a ledge emotionally, and two military officers who can't solve their own dispute isn't helping my mood any. They should be able to determine what the right thing to do is and do it without assistance.

How am I supposed to quash the urge to scream at the men involved that they're officers in the United States Navy and that they should be able to settle matters without an arbiter or mediator making them play nice?

I try to calm myself. I haven't even seen the statements in this case. I shouldn't be prejudging a situation for which I don't have all the facts.

A thumping noise brings me out of my ranting only to find that the noise is me tapping my pen on top of the stack of envelopes of the incoming mail that I still haven't begun to look at this morning.

It's early, and I'm already behind. I hope that the day doesn't get any worse.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**JUST AFTER MAC HAS GOTTEN HOME**

I come upstairs every day after work to change into my comfortable clothes for the rest of the evening.

For me, it's come to be symbolic of stripping away the Marine that I am most of the day and trading it for the simpler side of my life, my home life.

I need the transformation from Marine leader to woman more tonight than usual. My day hadn't really become any worse, but no matter what I did, like skipping lunch to catch up on work or calling Harm to pick up Ty on his way home so that I could work late, I stayed behind all day.

I walked into the condo to the aroma of something cooking and heard the three of them laughing in the kitchen.

I change, but before I leave the bedroom, the pamphlets that Harm had asked for so that he could read them catch my eye from where they're tucked under the edge of the lamp on my night stand.

I walk over to them and flip the edge of each one, counting them. There were six of them about different things. They're all here. Surely he hasn't read them all. I just gave them to him last night. When would he have had time? I'm not that late tonight.

I pick up the stack and read the titles. I should at least know what the titles are if he brings up reading them. I don't want to tell him that I haven't read them. I haven't wanted to know how hard it really might be.

The information in the pamphlets range from what tests a couple can expect in a fertility work-up, several treatment or procedure options, questions to ask when searching for a surrogate, and one on support groups.

I've had a long day, and I really don't want to talk about this tonight. Perhaps if they're out of sight, he won't remember to say anything on the subject.

After placing the offending information in the drawer of my night stand, I head down to see what smelled so good when I came in the door.

**BEDTIME**

I'm snuggling down into bed against Harm and his arms come around me. I think that my plan worked. He hasn't said a word.

I scoot closer, and his arms tighten slightly as his face comes towards mine. Our lips touch in a gentle good night kiss.

Our lips part, and I say, "Good night."

"Good night," he responds.

"Mac?" he asks tentatively.

Damn! I thought that my plan had worked, but he's going to want to talk about it now. I can feel it.

"Yeah?" I respond.

"I read those pamphlets today."

I know that my body tensed at the mention of them, but he continues to speak, at least seeming to be unfazed by my reaction.

"You know, one here, one there. I left them on your night stand. I thought that you might want to review them before our appointment the day after tomorrow."

I pull away from him, but he keeps talking.

"When I read a couple of them, I had some questions, so I jotted them down to ask the doctor. I figure that you probably haven't read the material recently, so you might want to review them to see if you have any questions to ask as well."

'That wasn't so bad', I think.

"Thanks, Harm, that's a good idea. I'll try to review them before the appointment."

I don't even get a chance to lean into him for another kiss before he says my name again.

"Mac?"

He's toying with me. He wants to talk about something, but not if it'll upset me. "Yeah?"

"One more thing before we go to sleep."

"Okay, what is it?" I'm trying not to sound agitated, but I'm not sure that I'm successful.

"We go to the doctor on Friday morning and then we go into work for a few hours. After work, we're going to be starting our Memorial Weekend, right?"

"Yes," I'm getting a little annoyed and I'm not trying to hide it. I should have said, 'make your point so we can get some sleep.'

"I was thinking today after I read some of that information that we'll probably be getting a lot more of it from the doctor. I know that we'll need to talk about the things that we're told, but we may need some time to process all of the information before we can really discuss it."

He's acting a little shy. His shyness would be cute enough for him to get lucky if the subject matter was different and I wasn't uncomfortable about where this conversation might be going.

"I wanted to know if it would be okay with you if we talk about it on Monday after we get back home, or even Tuesday. It's just that this is a big decision to be trying to talk about with my parents, Ty and Mattie around, but I don't want you to think that I'm putting off making a decision about this or that it isn't important to me."

Sometimes he's so sweet. "I think that you're a very thoughtful man, and that's one of the reasons why I love you. I think that you're absolutely right and that waiting until after the holiday is the right thing to do."

His "I love you, too" is met with a touch of my lips to his in a tender kiss before I curl back up at his side, and his arms firmly wrap around me again.


	98. Chapter 98

**PART TWO – One More **

**THURSDAY, MAY 25, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**WRITING IN HER JOURNAL**

Thursday, May, 25, 2006

Last night, I'm sure that Harm wanted to talk about what he'd read in the pamphlets, but he didn't push. His suggestion that we take the holiday weekend to focus on the family sailing trip and allow us each time to form individual thoughts on what the doctor tells us was so thoughtful. I've always known that he's a good man, but he's turning out to be an excellent husband.

I shove the book back in the drawer. I don't have as much time as usual this morning because of the holiday. I don't usually hold a staff meeting on Thursdays, but with several people wanting to make it a four-day weekend by requesting leave for tomorrow, I decided that the best way for me to make sure that I'm up to speed on all current cases is to hold a meeting this morning.

**PARKING LOT AT THE NAVAL RESERVE CENTER**

**MAC RETURNING FROM LUNCH **

I get out of the SUV and, for the second time, the first being when I left the building to go to lunch, I notice that it's a beautiful, sunny, warm day and I wish that I still had my Corvette.

If I still had my 'Vette, instead of my short drive to a diner near the office where I decided that I wasn't hungry and didn't order anything except a diet coke, I would've gone for a drive somewhere, perhaps nowhere.

I'd have put down the convertible top and let my hair down as well. I'd have driven faster than I should, but not too fast. The front of the car moving swiftly down the lane would've broken through the curtain of air in front of it, causing a wind that would whir past my ears and tousle my hair.

Yes, today I'm missing my Corvette. Maybe tonight I'll ask Harm if I can drive his tomorrow.

I take another step away from the car towards the building as my mind remembers something. 'No time for a drive tomorrow. I won't be coming in until late. Tomorrow's the day. We meet with the doctor in the morning.'

'Note to self, don't make an appointment that will probably involve bad news at the end of a month. The end of the month man power reports and duty section rosters to be approved alone is enough to make me want to jump out of my third story window, so anything else that would add pressure to this time should be strictly avoided from now on.'

As I approach the steps to the front entrance, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Yes, I think our little sailing trip is exactly what I need to clear my head. The smell of the ocean minus the noisy catapults and jet fuel fumes should be very relaxing.

I pull the front door to the building open, but someone saying my name has me looking back towards the parking lot. It's the officer from the reserve center who has the two feuding officers who are squabbling over a coin.

"Colonel MacKenzie, I'm glad that I caught up with you. I have the statements in my office that you told me that you'd need to read before you met with my people. I wanted to ask you if I could bring them by your office this afternoon."

"Are you headed to your office now?"

"I am, Colonel."

"Then why don't I just go with you to your office and get them?"

"That would be fine. Thank you."

**RESERVE CENTER OFFICE**

**A FEW MINUTES LATER **

I pick up the statements. I can't believe that I've voluntarily taken on more work.

I'm content to leave with them and read them at my earliest convenience. However, the commander asks me when he can expect to hear something back from me on the matter.

I take a moment to try not to open the pressure release valve on the pressure cooker that I feel that I'm in lately directly at him, but the delay in my response doesn't help and, instead of a firm statement, I unleash a tirade.

"Commander, I have many things on my plate at the moment. I realize that this is causing some tension in your office, but I have to prioritize all the matters before me. I may have time to read the statements later today, but I think it's more likely that, with my schedule this afternoon and with an appointment in the morning that could keep me out of the office as late as this time tomorrow, I may not have time to read them until tomorrow afternoon. Were you interested in me conducting this meeting with you and the parties involved over the holiday weekend?"

"No, ma'am, I wasn't trying to imply that this matter should take precedence over more serious issues. I was only trying to get my office back in order as soon as possible. My apologies, Colonel."

His apology sounds insincere, like one that Vukovic might have offered me. His Vukovic-like behavior releases me from my thought that I should go easy on him. In fact, I find his 'style' repulsive and I say exactly what's on my mind.

"No apologies necessary, Commander. However, I suggest that, to get your office in order with haste, _you_ try to resolve this matter. You're an officer in the United States Navy, and I'm sure that, as such, you have a sense of right and wrong and, from the brief synopsis that you gave me of the issue, I believe that you should be able to handle this manner without a JAG arbitrator. I'll give you through the weekend to have your people come to an understanding. I'll meet with you and your people in my office on Tuesday at 1300. If no agreement has been reached by that time, we'll meet the following day at 1300 for me to mediate this dispute to a conclusion."

I leave his office, wondering if my internal conflict means that I should wear some sort of warning label. Perhaps there should be a sign around my neck: Approach with caution: SHORT-TEMPERED MARINE WITH A HAIR TRIGGER.

By the time I reach my office, I've concluded that he had it coming. He's a military officer in a leadership position. He should be able to handle the matter. From the overview of the problem that he gave me yesterday, I think that the solution is a matter of doing the right thing versus what's legal. An officer in his position should understand that and be able to resolve his own staff problems.

I decide that, for the safety of others, I should spend as little time out of my office as possible. It's another perk of being in command. You can limit your visitors to those who have an appointment or those you ask to see without anyone thinking anything about it.

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**END OF DAY**

I'm shoving things into my briefcase without much thought about organization. I'm pleased that I made it to the end of the day without anyone getting hurt.

The end-of-month reports were a distraction from my thoughts about tomorrow, but they couldn't keep them at bay all day.

I'm really worried about tomorrow's appointment with the doctor. What if, in the months since I've seen the doctor, things have changed? What if she says that it's too late? What will that news do to Harm? He's such a good dad to Mattie and Ty that he deserves to be a father.

I'm not even sure if I've picked up files that I need or if I've merely swept files off my desk to make it look clean, but with a clean desk and a full briefcase, I gather my cover and purse and head for the door.

It isn't that far to the car. I hope that I can make it without one more person wanting to speak with me, without one more thing needing my attention, without one more thing that lands on my shoulders. I can't handle one more thing today.

**DINING ROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

I managed to leave the office without incident. The drive home wasn't pleasant, but the heavy rush hour traffic is the norm, and the drive didn't take any longer than any other day.

My stop to pick up Ty from Frank gave me a little relief. Ty's bubbly, "Hi, Mac," and hug made me feel a little lighter.

Having changed into my comfortable clothes, I'm setting the table for dinner. I'm less tense at home with Harm and Ty than I was at the office. Ty's laughter from the kitchen where he and Harm are slaving over a hot stove making dinner is allowing me to feel more settled.

Mattie should be home from the gallery any minute now. Once we're all safely at home, I should be able to relax.

As if on cue, I hear Mattie calling from the front door. "Something smells good. I'm going to take my stuff upstairs and I'll be down for dinner in a minute."

**DINING ROOM**

**MIDDLE OF DINNER**

As part of our family dinnertime, Ty tells us about his day first, and then Mattie fills us in on hers. Harm will say something vague like, "just the usual stuff" or "nothing interesting."

When I take my turn, I'll try to be a little more informative without discussing any specific cases or people.

However, when Harm speaks tonight, he doesn't give his usual kind of answer.

"Nothing work related is worth talking about, but I did get a call from someone today who had some news that I think is worth sharing," he says.

Harm has our attention. "I got a call from a friend. He says that a formal invitation will be arriving when the date is nailed down, but he wanted to know if we'd be able to come to his wedding."

The call had come from Sturgis Turner. It seems that Sturgis has proposed to Varese. The date is in question until both the venue they want and her performing schedule have the same free day. Harm is wrapping up the topic by telling us that he'd told Sturgis that, when we knew the date, if we were able to attend, we would, and then the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Mattie says as she starts to get up. "I called Paul to tell him that I still had his math book, so it's probably him coming to get it."

"Don't assume that it's Paul. Make sure that you check to see who it is through the peephole."

"Yes, Mac," Mattie responds as she steps out of the dining room.

A few short moments later, Mattie reenters the dining room and announces, "Harm, Mac, Mrs. Morales is here to see you and Ty."

Mrs. Morales enters the dining room right behind Mattie.

Mrs. Morales is all smiles as she greets us. "Hello all. I'm sorry to pop in at dinnertime, but I haven't been by your home lately. I owe a report to the Virginia court by the end of the month, so pardon my intrusion."

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**BEDTIME**

After Mrs. Morales left, I wanted to just burst into tears. It wasn't a bad visit, but it was just one more thing thrown at me that's making me question my ability to stand up to the pressures of my life without losing my sanity.

I'd thought that I'd be safe at home, but Mrs. Morales' visit has shown me that I have no safe haven from the fear of never having a family.

My thoughts are racing through my head. 'Her visit is a routine part of the adoption process. I don't have anything to worry about,' I silently chant as I unbutton my blouse to get ready for bed. I continue to try to reel in my emotions, but the feel of his hand on my bare shoulder stops my thoughts and my undressing.

"A penny for your thoughts," he says.

It takes a few moments for me to process that he said something. "What?" I ask, now aware that he spoke but unsure of what he said.

"I said a penny for your thoughts."

I turn my head to look at him.

"I was just curious if you were thinking about Mrs. Morales' visit or our appointment tomorrow," he says with concern.

I let out a sigh. "Both, plus there's this case...well, it isn't really a case. I haven't looked over the statements yet, so I really can't say with certainty what it is. I _can_ say that I don't think that it should be on my desk." I start undressing again.

"Mrs. Morales' isn't aware of our appointment. It was just bad timing, nothing else. Her visits are just part of the adoption process, so that's nothing to worry about."

"You aren't worried about losing him?"

"No. He loves us. We love him. He's eating and sleeping, and there've been no problems at school. We're good parents, so I'm not worried at all." He pauses. "On the next subject, tomorrow's appointment, I'm not sure that I have any pointers for you because I've found myself dwelling on that topic a few times myself today."

"You know that the doctor may say that it's too late for me to have a baby."

"That idea hasn't crossed my mind."

"It hasn't?"

"No. After reading those pamphlets yesterday, I've been hoping that _I_ don't mess this up for us."

I give him a questioning gaze, and he answers my unspoken question.

"I've been obsessing today over my part of the couple's fertility testing. What if I can't give you the baby you want?" he asks with what I detect as fear in his voice.

"That thought hasn't crossed _my_ mind. I'm sure that you're fine," I reply as I move to him and slip my arms around his waist.

Our embrace allows me to hide my face so that he can't detect my surprise at his lack of confidence.

Harm's a fighter pilot with an ego the size of the price tag of one of the planes that he loves to fly so much. I figured that he'd be thinking more along the lines of, if any man could 'knock up' a hard to impregnate woman, he was the man for the job. However, a more probable explanation is that I've been so wrapped up in my own turmoil that I hadn't thought about what he might be feeling. I pull back from our embrace.

"Why would you think that? You have an old war injury that you haven't told me about or something?" I tease, trying to lighten the mood.

He's looking me in the eye, and I can see the seriousness in his gaze. My attempt at levity has been unsuccessful.

"No, but I did some follow-up reading today. There could be damage from me punching out of airplanes, damage that isn't a health concern so it wouldn't have been checked at the time, but it could mess this up for us. From what I read, my age could also be a factor."

I keep him from saying anymore with a statement. "I didn't read what you read, so I'm not sure about part of what you're saying, but you aren't too old. Men can father a child until they're dead. You remember that Senator from South Carolina, Strom Thurman? He was what...like in his late sixties or older...same thing with that actor from "The Odd Couple". He played the neat one. He fathered a child when he was in that same age bracket."

"Age isn't as important for a guy, but what I read said that it could be a factor in the quantity and quality of the sperm. Punching out of an aircraft has also been proven that it can affect both of those things. Either of those items or the combination of them added with one or more factors of any kind could make it impossible for you and me to have a baby together."

"I guess that we can only wait to see what the doctor has to say tomorrow," I say before burying my face into his chest, because I know that my condition is 'one more factor.' We both want a baby so much. After all that we've been through to get to this point, why can't this be easier for us?

I feel his embrace loosen before he starts to speak.

"I don't think that either one of us is going to get much sleep tonight. Why don't you tell me about this case that isn't a case that's landed on your desk?"

"When Commander Witherspoon was asking me for legal advice, he didn't get into specifics, but I got the statements from the two parties involved today. We could read them so that we both have all the details."

"Sounds good," he says

"Then I'll get them out of my briefcase."

After I've retrieved the papers from my briefcase, we each take a statement and read it.

After reading the first statement, we switch and read the other party's statement.

When we've read both statements, we have the same reaction and shake our heads in disbelief.

Harm speaks first. "What does Commander Witherspoon want you to do about this?"

"He wants me to mediate it to a satisfactory resolution."

"They _are_ in his command, right?" I nod to affirm that he's correct. "Why doesn't he mediate the matter between the two lieutenants?"

"Doesn't want to be the bad guy, I guess. I don't really know. He caught me in a moment of weakness the other day, and I agreed to do it. I did point out to him today that I thought that he should be able to handle the situation. I gave him until Tuesday to resolve the matter without my assistance."

"I'm not trying to tell you how to mediate, mind you, but I'd make sure that, if you have to settle this dispute, you make sure that the two children are present."

"If I have to handle this, will you come by to help me? I think that we should try to give all the parties a little lesson. What do you say?"

"Love to help you. Just let me know when and where."

It may be a waste of time if Commander Witherspoon can settle the matter without me, but we need something to do, so we spend the next little while plotting a strategy for our meeting. Our goal is to teach a lesson in what's legal and what's right with a valuable coin as a tool.

After our 'strategy meeting,' I go to make my final check on Ty.

When I return from Ty's room, we've talked about what has us unable to sleep as much as we want to talk about it and we've made a plan for resolving the case. With nothing left to do to keep us busy, we opt to cuddle in bed in silence.

At 0123, Harm is sleeping, and I slip from the bed. I need to read the information in those pamphlets so that I'm prepared for our appointment, too.

I slowly pull open the drawer of my night stand, trying to be quiet so that I don't wake Harm. I take the pamphlets out of the drawer and slowly push the drawer closed.

In the silence of the room, I've added another reason why I hadn't thought of Harm's feelings. I hadn't read all the pamphlets. I had no idea that one of them had information about testing the man's fertility. I just assumed that, given that we've already established that I have a fertility issue, all the information that she gave me was about what _I_ could expect.

I go down to the kitchen, grasping the pamphlets in my hand. I make myself a cup of herbal tea, sit at the breakfast bar, open the first pamphlet and begin to read.


	99. Chapter 99

**PART THREE – Memorial Weekend **

**FRIDAY, MAY 26, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**END OF DAY **

I wonder if my reason for coming into work today was to show my people that three days off is all the boss was going to have for the holiday weekend or if I really thought that I'd be able to get any work done after meeting with the doctor this morning.

Unable to concentrate on anything, the only thing that I actually completed today was signing off on the duty rosters for June.

Though I did successfully shuffle papers and files from one side of the desk to the other during my attempt to get something else done before the holiday weekend, I've spent most of the afternoon letting what the doctor told us echo in my head.

I arrived at the doctor's office with a lot of questions and very little hope. I left with a few questions and a lot of hope.

The doctor took blood from both of us for what she called 'routine blood work'. I had a basic exam along with another ultrasound, looking for anything different from the one that she'd done at the end of last year.

While I had my exam, Harm was taken into another room. I don't know if he had a complete exam or not, but I knew that he'd completed an important part of the testing procedure when, at the end of our visit, the doctor said, "Let's look at the calendar and see when we can meet. It'll take a several days to get the results back from the lab on your blood samples and Harm's sperm sample, so let's wait a week. How does next Thursday or Friday work for you?"

I inwardly smile at that, wondering how Harm handled it - no pun intended. I'll bet that he was a little embarrassed about it because, when he drove me to work after the appointment, he didn't say a word about having to provide the sample.

In fact, all he did say about our doctor's visit was that the wait until our appointment next Thursday was going to be tough to get through, but not to worry because, once we knew exactly what we were up against, we could overcome it.

I've put things into the briefcase that I can work on, but probably won't. I'm hoping to enjoy a work-free, relaxing three-day weekend on the water.

I'm almost to my office door when I think of one more thing that I should take with me.

I return to my desk and take a few minutes to retrieve the item and shove it into my briefcase.

**BURNETT YACHT **

**LATE EVENING **

After telling them that I wanted to check on Ty, I left Harm and Frank topside, having a nightcap. I will check on Ty first, but I really just wanted a few minutes alone.

Ty is sound asleep. This is the first time that Ty will have ever been 'underway', so he's very excited. He'll probably be the first one up in the morning.

I leave Ty's room and make my way to our state room, thinking about my journal. Until today when I'd gone back to my desk to bring it with me, I'd thought that keeping the journal was silly, but now, I feel that it's the only friend with whom I can share my thoughts with complete honesty.

I change quickly into my sleepwear before pulling my journal out of my bag and beginning my entry.

Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm upset with myself today. While Harm and I were in separate exam rooms, I actually found myself hoping that he had a problem. What kind of wife am I to be wishing for that?

I've been preoccupied with my reason or reasons for that most of the day since I had that thought.

It isn't that I want him to feel the way that I feel so that he can understand, but, in some odd way that I'm not sure that I understand yet, I just think that I could handle not having a child better if neither one of us could have a baby.

Taking a break from my writing to think about what I'm feeling and the words that I've written, I hear Harm say goodnight to Frank outside our door.

I close the journal and slip the rubber band around it.

As I slip it back into my bag, I hope that I don't spoil the weekend for Harm and Ty. I don't want to dwell on the topic, but until I discover why I'd wish such an awful thing on another person, let alone someone I love so much, it'll be hard for me to keep my mind on having fun.

**SATURDAY, MAY 27, 2006**

**BURNETT YACHT **

**MID DAY**

We were all up early to set sail and now we're anchored just off the coast of San Diego.

A short time after lunch, Trish excused herself to take a nap. She told Ty, "A nap will insure that Grandma is awake to watch the fireworks with you tonight."

With Mattie sitting off in a corner on her computer and Trish taking a nap, when Harm and Frank say that they're going to take Ty up on deck for his first fishing lesson, it doesn't raise any eyebrows when I say that I think that Trish had a good idea and that I think I'll go take a little nap, too.

Though my thoughts of yesterday weighed heavily on my mind all night, and I didn't get much sleep, it was only an excuse to get away from the others to be alone with my thoughts.

In our state room, I soon have my journal and pen in hand.

The morning excitement of setting sail gave a welcomed relief from thinking so much. As the yacht cleared the dock, Ty was all smiles. As we made our way to the open ocean, Ty's excitement and happiness were contagious. It's truly a joy to experience life with a child, especially one who exudes such glee.

Sitting here in our room, I get teary-eyed at the thought of how much more joyous it must be to see your child get his first tooth or take his first step.

As I ponder all the firsts that I probably won't ever get to see, I have a moment of clarity and I begin to write down my thoughts, trying to keep up with the speed with which they come pouring out.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

I've spent most of the last several weeks thinking about what our child would look like. Would he or she really have my looks and his brains or vice versa?

Today, I've been thinking about watching our child grow and learn from all the firsts that they experience as they grow.

Reviewing it now, I remember the first time that I realized that I've seen myself experiencing parenthood with Harm and only with him. It was during a visit with Dr. McCool, so long ago now, that I acknowledged the fact to her and to myself that I've never imagined anyone else as being the father of my child, not even in my dreams.

With that realization comes the understanding of why I wanted Harm not to be able to have children. I'll give you that it's selfish, but if he can't have children, the child he wants, the child he deserves, it's an unfulfilled life goal. However, if he _can_ have a child, but I _can't_, then it's a dream that could come true if he were with someone else.

My feelings stem from the fear of not being able to give Harm a child. If he couldn't have a child, even if he were with someone else, he'd be mine forever.

Harm isn't the kind of man who gives up on a dream. For conformation, I need only to go back a few years to when he returned to a fighter squadron. His ramp strike didn't cause him to give up the dream of being a naval aviator. Yes, he did come back to JAG on his own, but he still had to try to make that dream a reality before letting it go...and has he really let it go? He keeps up his flight hours and his qualifications.

If he had to go back to flying to fulfill a dream, even though he had another career at which he was very good, then why would he approach the dream of having a child any differently?

He's a good man and in a handsome package to boot. Why shouldn't he find another woman to make his dream of being a father come true? I wouldn't blame him for going to another woman for what I can't give him.

However, he isn't the kind of man who'd father a child with a woman and then leave her. If I can't have a child and he leaves, I will have lost him for good. He'd stay with the mother of his child.

I've been in love with him for so long, but since we became a couple, I find that I love him a little more every day.

After knowing what it's like to be with him, after being his wife and after sharing a life with him these last couple of months, losing him would break my heart. I don't know if my heart could take that kind of heartache, especially combined with not being able to have a child to fill the void.

My conclusion: If it's impossible for him to father a child, then it doesn't matter if he's childless with me or someone else. I don't really want him to have any fertility issues. I just don't want to lose him. Being barren is one thing. Being without him would be something far worse.

My spontaneous thoughts come to life for me on the page and allow me to draw a conclusion that I jot down before I put my journal and pen away.

I head topside to find Harm. I suddenly feel a need to be as close to him as possible. I want to spend whatever time that I can with him while I can...before I have to learn to live without him again.

**BURNETT YACHT **

**OFF THE COAST OF SAN DIEGO**

**BEDTIME**

Perhaps it might sound strange to some people, but identifying the problem has made me feel better, and I've enjoyed the day very much.

I'm entering our room to join Harm, having just come back from my final bed check on Ty.

"Is he asleep?" he asks.

"Yeah, out like a light. He was so tired from his day that he didn't eat much dinner. He really enjoyed today. The fireworks over SeaWorld were just the icing on the cake for him."

"Yeah, he really did have fun today." Harm pauses for a moment. "He didn't eat much lunch either. I hope he's feeling okay. Thinking about it now, what worries me more is that he didn't drink anything at dinner, either. I can't remember if he drank anything at lunch or not. We did share a bottle of water while we were fishing, so I might be worrying about nothing."

I take the opportunity to tease him and momentarily interrupt his thoughts, "You mean, while you were practicing your casting technique since you didn't catch anything."

"If you want to look at it like that, yeah," he chuckles. Anyway, my point is that I don't know how much water he drank since I drank from it, too. I hope that he drank enough that he doesn't get dehydrated."

"Do you think that we ought to go back to dry land tomorrow?" I ask, now concerned as well.

"If he doesn't complain about not feeling well or anything hurting and he doesn't run a fever, I don't think that it'll be necessary to return early. It could be something simple like a case of nerves about being at sea for the first time. If we go back, it'll just happen the next time. We'll just have to keep an eye on him and make sure that he doesn't show any signs of being sick."

"Sounds like a plan." I want to change the subject, but I don't want to break our deal, so I slide into bed next to him without saying a word.

After three minutes and twenty-two seconds of silence, Harm asks, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something, but we agreed not to talk about it over the weekend."

He places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I didn't want us to feel pressured to talk about it, but if you want to ask a question or talk about it, I don't have a problem with that. I certainly don't want you up all night again tonight if talking about it will help, so ask away."

"Do you know what you want to do if the doctor tells us that I can't ever have a baby? Have you really thought about what that will mean to you?"

"After you mentioned it the other night, I thought about it. You keep saying if _you_ can't have baby. I thought that we were in this together."

He pauses, gives me a little hug and kisses the side of my head at the temple.

I lean into him and place my cheek on his chest.

"I think that we'll be sad at first, and then we'll have to decide what we want to do about it. Depending on what the exact cause is, there could be a variety of other options, like donor eggs, surrogacy and adoption. If none of them are an option that we want or we can't make any of those things happen for whatever reason, we already have a family, and we'll enjoy our time together...like we are on this trip."

I nod my head to agree, and my cheek rubs against the firm muscle of his chest. I lift my head to kiss him.

Our lips meet in a sizzling kiss, and my love for him explodes inside of me like a volcano with the molten lava coursing through my veins and, suddenly, I think that I'll burst into flames if I'm not cooled down by his love.

My body aches for him, but I need him for so much more tonight than just a physical release of our ignited passion, and I'm pleased that he offers no resistance to my advances.

**SUNDAY, MAY 28, 2006**

**BURNETT YACHT **

**BEFORE BREAKFAST**

Harm has left our room to go get Ty up for breakfast. I've finished dressing and I'm wondering if I have time to make notes in my diary before his return when I hear Harm call my name.

I quickly drop the idea of my calendar and journal at the tone in Harm's voice. He sounds, I don't know, panicked, I'd say. Panic isn't an emotion that I've heard in his voice, so I can't be certain, but I can say with certainty that, whatever it is that he needs, it's important, and I hurriedly make my way to Ty's room.

Ty's door is open, and I see Harm sitting next to Ty on the floor. Now my heart is racing. Oh my god, Ty's sick and I've been so damned preoccupied with something that may or may not happen that I've missed the signs. I don't deserve to be a mother.

As I enter the room to join them, I notice that Ty's in the clothes that he wore yesterday and not in his pajamas. I step closer to them before I drop to the floor.

Once I'm on the floor next to them, I see that, though he isn't making a sound, Ty is crying. I extend my arms, bringing him to me and wrapping my arms around him.

"I found him like this. I don't know if he won't tell me what's wrong or if he's just crying so hard that he can't tell me," Harm explains.

Together, we get Ty to tell us that he wet the bed last night. This being a first for him and given his age, we're concerned that it's a medical problem.

Harm picks up Ty and carries him to our room, all the while tears are flowing in streams down his cheeks.

In our room, I sit on the bed and cradle Ty. Over the top of his head, Harm mouths to me that he's going to go clean up Ty's room. Harm leaves me with Ty, and I rock him in an attempt to soothe him.

By the time Harm returns, Ty's stopped crying, but when Harm asks Ty if he's feeling better so that we can go have breakfast, Ty starts to cry again.

Between the sobbing bursts, we get a reason for the new tears. "I don't want to see Grandpa. He's going to be mad at me for messing up his boat. It was an accident, I swear. I didn't mean to do it."

Harm sits next to us on the bed. "Grandpa isn't mad at you. He's worried about you."

Ty looks at him and sniffles before he speaks. "Why is he worried 'bout me?"

"Because he knows that you wouldn't do it on purpose and he's worried that you're sick."

"I'm not sick. I just couldn't hold it any longer."

It's my turn to ask. "Why were you trying to hold it? Didn't you remember where the bathroom is?"

"I remembered, but I didn't want to use it."

I beat Harm to the question. "Why?"

"I didn't want to pee on Nemo," he wails and starts to cry again.

I glance at Harm, and he's smiling, too. We've made the connection and know that our son's health is no longer a concern.

We head up to eat breakfast with everyone after a discussion with Ty that includes the facts about waste tanks and that those tanks are pumped out and the waste is disposed of properly, making it safe for Nemo, his friends and all other sea life, so he can safely use the bathroom on board. We skip telling him that the tanks of boats and ships are often purged when they're farther from the shoreline because Ty wouldn't have drunk another thing for the rest of the weekend!

**BURNETT YACHT **

**AFTER LUNCH**

Harm had put Ty's mattress out on the deck to dry and air out. Since Ty hadn't slept well last night, he was yawning through lunch, so, after lunch, Harm checked his mattress to see if it was ready to be returned to Ty's room.

It isn't difficult to convince Ty to take a nap so that he won't be too sleepy to stay up and watch the fireworks again tonight because it's the last night that we'll be able to see them this trip.

Harm makes his bed with clean sheets, and I tuck Ty in and stay until he falls asleep. When I leave his room, I head to our room before rejoining the others.

In our room, I take out the journal. I pull the calendar out first to mark yesterday for last night's lovemaking.

As I scan the calendar, searching for yesterday's date, it comes to my attention that last night was the first time that we've made love in ten days.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Last night, I asked Harm the hypothetical question about what he'd want to do if I can't have a baby.

I have to say that it was uncomfortable asking, but I feel better having asked. Harm said that _we_ would be sad, but that _we'd_ decide what to do. He said that _we_ were in this together. I'm not confident that, if the doctor says that I have a zero percent chance of having a baby, he won't leave, but I do know that he isn't going to pull a disappearing act any time soon. I'm sure that I'll gain confidence as time passes, but, in the meantime, I'm seeing light in a world that's been dark to me for days.

I have my first 'cute story' about Ty. We watched the movie 'Finding Nemo' on our last night at home before Ty went to bed. In the movie, there's a scene when Nemo goes down a dentist's drain and gets sent out to the sea. Well, Ty didn't want to use the bathroom on board because he didn't want to dirty Nemo's water.

We made sure that he understood that Nemo wasn't a real fish, but he wasn't happy with that answer. His response was, "Harm said that Nemo was drawn as a clown fish. That's a real fish, and I don't want to pee in their home, even if I don't know their names." When the difference between real and cartoon fish didn't ease his mind, we explained the use of waste tanks.

I don't want to use any more time in our room that I could be spending with Harm, but I wanted to write those things down before I forgot them.

**MONDAY, MAY 29, 2006**

**ON DECK**

**BURNETT YACHT **

**SUNRISE**

In my sleep, I instinctively know that something's out of place.

I open my eyes and find that Harm is what's missing. Given the hour of the morning, I slip into my robe and go in search of my missing husband.

I checked Mattie's room, not that I really expected him to be there, and Ty's room. Since he wasn't in either place, I head topside to search and, as I emerge from below, I see his tall form in jeans and no shirt at the railing.

He's staring out over the water. I stand silently, watching him.

I observe him for four minutes and twelve seconds before I decide to approach him.

I softly say his name. "Harm." Then I place my hand on his shoulder. "I didn't think that we were going to start sailing back until after breakfast. Why are you out here at this hour? Is something wrong?"

He turns his head to look at me. "I hope not, but maybe."

His arm snakes around my waist, and I move quickly to cozy myself against his side as a means of shielding my body from the breeze coming off the water. He holds me close to him, but his head turns back to stare across the waves.

"Does seeing the ocean make you miss life aboard a carrier?" I ask curiously.

"No, I'm not looking at the water. I'm watching the sunrise."

We stand at the railing, side-by-side in silence.

Watching the red orange of the sunrise start to creep over the horizon, I'm debating within myself. Should I ask him any more questions or simply wait for him to speak when he's ready?

I don't have to make a decision because it takes only a minute and fifty-eight seconds before he speaks again.

"Do you know that sailors have a saying about red skies?"

He turns to look in my direction again. His voice is low and oddly serious for a man who's getting ready to tell me an old mariner's tale. However, it's his tone that makes me curious, so I listen closely, knowing that his words are leading to something more important.

"Red skies at night, sailors' delight. Red skies in the morning, sailors take warning," he informs me.

He looks back to the sunrise, and I feel his chest heave as he takes in a deep breath before speaking again.

"I've been thinking..." he starts again "...about Saturday night." He pauses as if he's still trying to put his thoughts in order.

I'm nervous that he's had time to think over what he said and wants to change his answer. He turns his body, wraps his other arm around my waist and holds me close enough that I feel the warmth radiating from his body, the breeze not affecting him at all, but there's enough space between us that, when he tilts his head down, we're able to see each other's faces.

"I just don't think that you understand how much I love you. I've been trying to figure out what I can do, what I can say that will help you understand. I'm here." He places a quick kiss on the end of my nose. "I'm with you." He places a soft kiss on my forehead. "I'm not going anywhere."

His lips come to mine in a kiss filled with comforting warmth, but his soft lips leave mine far too soon, leaving me wanting more.

"For the record, I was hoping that the wedding ring that you're wearing would serve as a reminder that you have me, but if there's something else that I can do to ease your mind, will you tell me what it is?" he asks.

"It may take some more time for it to really sink in, so be patient with me, please." I say it softly, but he hears me. I didn't mean for my words to come out sounding like a plea, but they do.

"I'll practice patience if you'll work on faith, faith in me and in us."

"I'll try," I say with a sigh.

He loosens his hold a little. "We've got a couple of hours before breakfast. Do you want something while we're up?"

"Yeah, but there are children on board, so I think that we should have it down in our room." I know that he gets the innuendo because he cocks that one eyebrow.

"If it helps you keep the faith..." he says as a full-blown flyboy smile appears.

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

**LATE AFTERNOON**

Harm has taken Ty grocery shopping, and Paul has come to pick up Mattie for dinner, so I'm alone in the condo.

I take out my trusty journal. First, I unfold the calendar to make a mark for this morning's lovemaking.

I smile as I re-fold the calendar page. Only one day between the last star and today's, that's better.

Monday, May 29, 2006

My mother left me so long ago that, most of the time, it feels like another life, or even so remote that it was someone else's life that I saw in a movie on Lifetime. However, there are times when the feelings are rekindled within me.

The fact is that Harm was right today. I need to have more faith in him - in us, but it's easier said than done.

After all these years, I can't believe that her leaving me is still painful. I forgave her, but forgiving doesn't mean forgetting the pain that she caused. I've had it buried for so long that I don't even think about it most of the time, but in times like these, when I'm unsure if I can cope with being alone, it bubbles up inside me, cutting off my rational thought.

I take a moment to think over what I just wrote before I write more.

Come to think of it, why doesn't leaving others bother me? Why is it that I can leave the men in my life, like my mother left my father, but they can't leave me without me feeling left behind?

I walked away from my father and didn't look back. Maybe that's what made it easy for me to walk away…starting young and practicing it regularly thereafter. I abandoned my first husband, Chris. I left Japan and John behind. I broke it off with Dalton.

Mic left me, and it hurt...it hurt like my mother leaving me. That's why I didn't want him to go. I didn't want to get left behind.

Mic was right. I didn't love him with all my heart. Most of my heart already belonged to Harm, but he was with Renee. I couldn't be without Mic and watch Renee with Harm. Unsure if I could handle being without Mic and not being with Harm, I wanted Mic to stay with me. When he left, it brought up all the old abandonment feelings.

I need to let go of the past and focus on my future. I need to have faith that what fate has in store for me is better than what's already happened.

I have to say, though, that I believe that I'll find it easier to have faith if the doctor has good news for us on Thursday.

I put down my journal and go to the computer to print June's calendar. As I lift the paper from the printer, I check to make sure that the page has printed correctly before I fold it and place it with the other calendars and close the book. I then replace the rubber band and put the book back into my briefcase.

I spend the rest of my time alone in the condo, cleaning and prepping for my return to work tomorrow.

The weekend wasn't as relaxing as I'd hoped, but I'll be returning to work feeling better than I have in a couple of weeks.

**BEDTIME**

I return from my final check on Ty and crawl into bed next to Harm.

As I settle into bed next to him, he asks, "Did you enjoy the trip enough to want to go again some time?"

"It was nice, so I can see myself going again," I reply with a smile.

"I wasn't sure if you weren't sleeping because you've got a lot on your mind or if you weren't enjoying the trip," Harm says as if waiting for me to explain.

"I...we have a lot to think about, so a lot was on my mind. The trip was actually relaxing and helped me to sort out some things. I am a little tired, but I do feel better."

"Mac, on deck this morning, watching the sunrise, I made a decision. I've decided that I'd like for Tyler to have a brother or sister, but how it happens or if it happens is up to you. Now, before you say that it needs to be our decision if we're in this together..." He places a couple of his fingers over my lips to keep me from saying anything. "...when the doctor told us what option she thought was the best one for us and gave us an overview of what it entailed to accomplish a pregnancy, I was overwhelmed, even though I'd read the pamphlets and done research on line, so I can't imagine what all this has been like for you. After the information started to really soak in over the weekend, I realized that you're the one who has to make the decision of how or even if we expand our family. You're the one who's going to be put through the most. You'll be poked and prodded, receive hormone shots and go through procedures. _You_ have to say what option or options you want to try or what you don't want to do and when it's time to say enough. I may ask questions about your choices, but I'm not questioning your decisions, just trying to understand them so that I can be as supportive as possible.

I have tears in my eyes by the time he's finished. "I love you."

"And I love you," he responds without hesitation.

Our lips come together and, soon we're in our own world, loving each other once again.

After our lovemaking, I'm exhausted and fall quickly to sleep in his arms.


	100. Chapter 100

**PART FOUR – Decisions **

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 2006**

**JLS CONFERENCE ROOM**

**1300**

Petty Officer Coates has told us that Lieutenant Graves has everyone assembled in the conference room and is ready for us to begin our little show.

I walk in the conference room first, but Harm is right behind me.

Lt. Graves has the two lieutenants sitting across from each other at the table. The two boys who set this mess in motion are each sitting next to their fathers. Lt. Graves is seated off to the side, prepared to take notes on the meeting. Harm asked Vern to sit in to lend a little more seriousness to our meeting, so Agent O'Malley is also seated at the table.

"Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Captain Rabb, JAG Corps, currently stationed with NCIS and sworn in as a special federal prosecutor. After reading your statements, I asked him to join us. I'm sure that Lt. Graves has already introduced you to Vernon O'Malley, an agent with NCIS. I'm Colonel MacKenzie, currently the CO of Joint Legal Services, Southwest. With introductions out of the way, let's begin."

Both lieutenants look worried, which was the intended effect. However, it's Commander Witherspoon who asks for more details about the presence of our guests.

"Ma'am, I thought that you'd just tell them who was legally entitled to the coin, and we'd be done. Why are people from NCIS here?"

"Agent O'Malley is here at Captain Rabb's request. Since I'd agreed to mediate the case, I'm leaving it up to the captain to determine if there's enough evidence to warrant filing charges."

"Charges, ma'am?" the commander stutters out.

"Yes, charges," Vern states coldly, his bad cop facade in place.

The commander looks at Vern, but asks me. "May I ask what charges, ma'am?"

"It'll be up to Captain Rabb to determine if charges will be filed, and if so, what they'll be," I reply.

The three officers from the Naval Reserve Center and the two boys look at Harm.

"Colonel MacKenzie gave me your statements to read. I agree with her assessment that there is some evidence to suggest that several things took place that could be criminal and therefore could result in charges, but I have an open mind. I'm willing to listen while the colonel clarifies some points in the statements before I ask Mr. O'Malley to do any formal questioning in order to determine if any charges will be filed," Harm explains.

"Thank you, Captain. First, let's establish that the coin is present," I say.

"Yes, ma'am," Lieutenant Beach says as he pulls a plastic bag from his pocket.

"I can't believe that he's carrying my quarter in a baggie," Lieutenant Keeley mumbles with concern that makes me decide to let his remark go. Well, that and the fact no one else in the room seems to have heard it, because no one looks at him. They're focused on the coin.

I take the bag from the lieutenant, place it down on the table and push it towards the other lieutenant. "Is this the coin that you claim to be your rightful property, Lieutenant Keeley?"

He picks up the bag containing the coin, taking a moment to study the face of it before flipping it over to inspect the back. "I can't say with certainty that this is the exact coin, ma'am, but it has the same year and mint marking as my coin and, since the coin is rare, I'd have to say that they couldn't have found a replacement, so that would make this quarter mine, ma'am."

I try to keep my focus, but it's hard to keep from snickering along with Harm when I hear Vern whisper to him, "If he ain't a lawyer, he sure must have talked to one with an answer like that."

"Now that we've established that this is the coin in dispute -"

"Excuse me, ma'am. It isn't just a coin. It is a 1918-S over-dated quarter minted in San Francisco," Keeley states as if he were Harm talking about his plane.

"I see. Out of curiosity, what does over-dated mean, Lieutenant?"

"An over-date is created when two hubs carrying different dates are used together to make a die."

"That makes it more valuable and the reason why you want it back?" I ask.

"Yes, ma'am, it's part of the reason. The other part is that my grandfather got me into coin collecting when I was very young. That quarter is part of his collection that he left me in his will, and I'd like to keep the collection intact."

I nod and look at Keeley's son and back to Lt. Keeley. "Lieutenant Keeley, in your statement, you refer to the young man with you as 'my son.' I'd like to ask your son's name for the record."

"Timothy, ma'am, Timothy Keeley," the twenty-something lieutenant answers.

"Timothy, I have a few questions for you, and you need to tell the truth, okay?"

Timothy nods. "I need for you to say your answers so that everyone can hear you, okay?

He looks at his dad and then back at me. "Yes, ma'am."

"I'd like for you to tell us how Lieutenant Beach's son got the quarter."

"I gave it to him."

"Why did you give it to him?"

"A few weeks ago, I went to get lunch and some of my money was missing. I guess I lost it on the bus or the playground before school. Because I was missing part of my money, I didn't have enough to buy lunch. Billy..." Timothy points to the little boy sitting across from him. "...said that his mom didn't have change that morning, so she'd given him two dollars. He said that his family didn't have much money right now and that his mom would be counting on him to save his change as part of his lunch money for tomorrow, but if I paid him back the next day, he'd loan me the fifty cents that would be his change."

"So you agreed to pay him back the next day at lunch, so he loaned you the money that you needed."

"Yes, ma'am, only I forgot to ask my mom for the extra money before she left for work, but I remembered before the bus came. I looked in the pockets of all the laundry and found part of the money in a pair of jeans that I'd worn to the park a few days before. I knew the bus was going to be coming any minute and I needed the money so that Billy would have lunch. I decided that I'd go without lunch so that I could pay Billy back, but then I remembered the coins in the books that my dad had shown me. I went into his office, grabbed one of the books and took out a quarter so that neither Billy nor I would have to go without lunch. I only needed one quarter, and Dad has lots of coins, all kinds. I didn't understand that they were special coins then." The little boy's tone dripped with regret at what he'd done.

"Now, Billy, why do you still have the coin if you were supposed to buy lunch with it?" I ask.

"It was funny looking. I didn't think that it was real money. I thought that he was trying to get me in trouble, so I borrowed a quarter from Mary for my lunch."

So far, things had been relatively simple, but it was time for things to get more interesting.

Vern was the one who asked the next question. "So, Billy, how did your dad get the quarter?"

"When I got home from school that afternoon, I showed my mom the fake quarter. She took it and said that she thought that it was real money, just old. After Dad got home from work, he came into my room while I was doing my homework. He said that my mom had given him the coin. He asked me where I got it, and I told him the story. He told me that my mom had looked it up on the internet and that it was an old, but real quarter, and that it was a sign that things were going to turn around for our family."

"Thank you, Billy." It's just as I suspected. Billy's greedy father is the one who doesn't want to resolve this by giving the coin back. It's time to amp up our little charade. "Lt. Graves, will you ask Petty Officer Coates to join us, please?"

The proceedings are at a halt for a little more than two minutes before Coates arrives.

"Petty Officer Coates, the adults have a few things to review so that this matter can be put to rest, so I'd like for you to take Billy and Timothy with you. We shouldn't be too long."

Jennifer does as instructed and leaves with the two boys before I begin the proceedings again.

"Gentlemen, now let's get to the heart of the matter. Lieutenant Keeley, you want the coin because it's part of your grandfather's collection. It has both sentimental and collector value to you. Lieutenant Beach, you want it because it's worth something. Would the two of you agree that those are the facts?"

"Yes, ma'am," Lieutenant Keeley replies.

"No, ma'am...yes, ma'am," a flustered Lieutenant Beach says.

"Please explain, Lieutenant Beach. Tell me how I have it wrong."

"Ma'am, the way you say it, it sounds like I'm greedy. It isn't like that. I told Tim, Lt. Keeley, that I had the coin and how I got it. I didn't have to do that. He didn't even know that it was missing until I told him that I had it. I told him that, since it was given to my son fair and square, I wanted to sell the coin, but since it was going to draw a nice chunk of change, I didn't feel right about keeping all of it. I told him that I wanted us to split the money. My family could use the money right now, and I thought that it was a real blessing when Billy got that coin." Lieutenant Beach is almost in tears.

I find myself suddenly having a change of heart. My recent mood must have impaired my objectivity because, hearing the one side talk about his grandfather and the other talking about needing the money, I no longer believe this to be about greed.

"How much is the coin worth?" Harm asks.

"The estimated value for that quarter, because it's still in great condition, is around a hundred thousand dollars," Beach says, still trying to regain some composure.

I'm sure that Lt. Keeley is sensing that the mood in the room is changing to sympathy for Lt. Beach, so he chooses this time to bring Harm into the mix. "So, are you going to charge him or his son with something, Captain?"

In Harm's usual way of being so cool while under fire that the opposing side finds it irritating, he answers. "Did you have any particular charge in mind?"

"Can't you charge him with conduct unbecoming or something like that at least?"

"I suppose I could, but Vern, here, has pointed out that there may be enough evidence for me to press a slew of charges," Harm says coyly.

"Well, good," Keeley says with a smirk.

Harm stands and looks at Vern before he looks at me. He paces a few steps back and forth behind the chair that he was sitting in a few moments ago. He stops suddenly and turns to face Keeley. "Of course, to make our case against Lieutenant Beach and his son for receiving stolen property, we'll have to arrest Timothy for stealing it since you've stated repeatedly that the property belongs to you, and..." Harm pauses as if he's pondering more charges. For extra dramatic effect, he puts his hand to his face, his index finger against his cheek, his thumb under his chin and his remaining digits bent down under his lip. He's being a ham. He should've been an actor.

You can see the color drain from Lieutenant Keeley's face from the shock of Harm's words. "You can't arrest my son. He made a mistake. He deserves to be grounded, but not arrested," Keeley replies in panic.

"Colonel MacKenzie, I don't want either boy to go to jail. Will it keep them out of jail if I give the coin back now?" Lt. Beach asks.

"Lieutenant Keeley, if you get your quarter back, will you be able to let go of this and let bygones be bygones?"

There still isn't much color in his face when he answers, "Yes, Colonel."

"And you, Lt. Beach?"

"Yes, Colonel."

"Then it's my decision that the coin be returned to Lieutenant Keeley and that the matter be dropped." I pick up the baggie with the coin inside and offer it to Lt. Keeley. "Lt. Keeley, you're dismissed."

"Aye, ma'am." A small smile appears. "Thank you, Colonel."

"Don't thank me, Lieutenant. Thank Lt. Beach. I was going to let him keep the quarter."

"You were, ma'am? I don't understand."

"Captain Rabb, would you and Agent O'Malley walk Lt. Keeley out to get his son and explain the legal aspects of this situation to him while I have a few minutes with Commander Witherspoon and Lieutenant Beach?"

**MAC'S OFFICE **

**A LITTLE BIT LATER**

The firm knock on my door tells me that it isn't Jennifer.

I'm not expecting anyone, but the sound of the knock and that feeling that I get when he's near tells me that unexpected doesn't mean unwanted, so, with a simple word, I confirm that my 'Harm alarm' is still working.

"Enter." The door opens, and the head of a certain handsome sailor, of whom I'm very fond, appears around the edge of the door, and I smile warmly at him.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I'm heading back to my office."

"Are you in a hurry?" I ask.

The door opens a little wider. "No hurry, why?"

"Then come in and stay a minute. You can tell me about your talk with Lt. Keeley."

He takes a step into my office. "If you'll tell me if there's any hide left on Commander Witherspoon."

"I don't know what you mean, Captain." I feign ignorance.

He closes the door and takes a step towards my desk. "I know that look...the one you had when you asked to speak with Commander Witherspoon and Lt. Beach. You were going to impart your displeasure at having had the matter go on for so long, and I know that you put the brunt of that responsibility on the commander."

"Since you think that you know me so well, why don't you go first? Tell me what your lieutenant had to say when you talked to him."

"He didn't say much. I explained that, because of the way in which Lt. Beach had obtained possession of the coin, even though perhaps it didn't seem right, legally, it was his. When he had a blank look on his face, I explained to him that Lt. Beach had gotten the coin from his son, who'd received the coin when his own son had repaid his debt. It would be the same as if he'd accidentally paid for his dry cleaning with the quarter. Then he understood what I was telling him."

"But..."

"But what?"

"I know that look of yours, Rabb. You wish that the coin had gone to Beach."

"I didn't talk to Beach, but from talking to Keeley, I think that the wrong man got the money. Keeley's a jerk. He was upset by the thought of his son going to jail, but he didn't offer to drop the matter. Lt. Beach wasted no time in stepping up to keep either boy from being arrested. That tells me that he's the better man. Enough about my guy, what about your talk with the other lieutenant and the commander?"

"I wanted to talk to Beach about money. He'd brought up the money aspect a couple of times, but I didn't get the sense that it was out of greed since he'd offered to split the money with Keeley. It turns out that Mrs. Keeley was laid off work four months ago. A few weeks ago, she was able to find part-time employment. The toll on the family finances from Mrs. Keeley being out of work and then returning to only part-time hours for now has them behind on some bills, including the mortgage, so the money was to get them back on their feet so they didn't have to worry about losing their home."

"And..."

"...And...I'm meeting with him tomorrow morning to see if there's anything that can be done, legally speaking, to help him get back on his feet. I have Coates looking for any type of financial services that are available to him through some kind of military assistance program or financial planning."

"Must be why she wasn't at her desk. Now tell me what happened with the commander?"

"After I dismissed the lieutenant, I may have said a few things to him." Harm is giving me a look that says 'you gave him an ass chewing, and we both know it.' "I may have mentioned to the commander that a good commanding officer is someone who their people feel that they can go to when they have a situation like the lieutenant's...and I might have pointed out that he should've been able to ask the same questions that I did and get the matter resolved much sooner." It was a little more like the ass chewing that Harm suspects, but I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he's right and that he knows me so well, so I downplay the exchange.

"Yeah, I'll bet that it wasn't that tame and, if I went to see the commander, he'd still be rubbing his six from the bite that you took out of it."

I smile at him, and he returns my smile. I get up, move to the front of my desk and place my lips on his. The softness of his lips is magnetic, and my lips don't think that they can leave his, but, after a few moments, I manage to pull mine from his.

"See you at home tonight?" I ask coyly.

A grin spreads across his face as he says, "I'll be looking forward to it. I'd like to hear more of that 'oral argument' that you were starting just now."

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO **

**LATE NIGHT**

I'd drifted to sleep after Harm and I had made love, but a dream woke me from my peaceful slumber, the memory of which is keeping me awake.

My dream was more like a movie playing in my head. I was the 'star,' but somehow detached from the subject matter, so I didn't wake as upset as I would have if I'd been dreaming it differently.

The movie opened with a woman being told by a doctor that she couldn't have children. Next, the woman who looked like me was telling her husband, who looked like Harm, the news. There were more scenes played out: some were in doctor's offices, some were in the hospital and one scene was the couple in the park, walking hand-in-hand and talking about the decisions that they'd made. The final scene was the woman in a hospital bed, holding her baby all bundled up in pink, with the adoring eyes of her father watching over them from his position next to the bed.

I woke with a positive feeling about what I want to do. Actually, that isn't technically accurate since I've known what I wanted to do for a while, but have been apprehensive about it. The dream has served to solidify my resolve so that I'm ready to declare what I want at our appointment in eleven hours and seventeen minutes.

I've been watching Harm sleep for the last ten minutes and forty-two seconds. I've been studying his face. I have the right guy and I want a baby, so I'll go through whatever I must to achieve that goal.

My eyes are riveted on him for so long that it causes him to stir. He opens one eye to look at me.

"Something wrong?" he asks with concern as he forces his other eye open to see me more clearly.

"No, I was just thinking about my choices."

"Did this thinking session of yours bring you to any decisions?"

"It did."

"Ready to share?" he asks.

"First of all, I decided that agreeing to marry you was one of my better decisions."

He offers me a sleepy smile and gives my cheek a little smooch. "I have to say that marrying you was by far the best decision that I ever made."

His words bring a sappy, 'ah, that was so sweet of you to say' smile to my face, but I don't let the handsome face distract me from telling him about my other decision. "I want a baby, Harm."

"I know you do."

"What I mean is that the doctor said last week that, if your test comes back normal, she thinks that in vitro fertilization is our best shot for me to get pregnant because of my condition, my age and whatever other factors she said that didn't sink in all the way. Tomorrow, if she says that it's still our best option in her opinion, I want to try it. If she says that it isn't the best choice after reviewing the test results, then I want to start whatever she says _is _the right option. I don't want to wait any longer."

I've stated my decision with such conviction, but after I've said it, I cautiously wait to hear what his response might be to it.

"You're sure that you've thought it through?" he asks.

"I've been thinking about it too much, really. I was just making it more complicated than it needed to be. The simple fact is that I'm ready to have a baby and, to accomplish that, I need help, so whatever tests or procedures will make it happen, I'm ready to tackle them."

"Nice to have my kick-ass Marine back. I've been a little worried that I was going to have to report her for being UA."

"No, she's back and she loves you more than ever." I pause for a moment before I ask him, "Do you think that you can handle this Marine?"

His arms sweep around me and pull me tightly to him.

"I can handle you..." He places one moist kiss on my neck and then he whispers into my ear, "...and I'm about to give you a demonstration." Then he rolls into a position that allows him to firmly plant his lips on mine.


	101. Chapter 101

**PART FIVE – Fathers and Dads**

**SUNDAY, JUNE 4, 2006 **

**BURNETT RESIDENCE  
LATE AFTERNOON **

We'd arrived for our usual Sunday dinner at the Burnett home just shy of an hour ago. Trish is in the kitchen, checking on dinner. Ty is in Grandpa's den, watching a Scooby Doo movie. Mattie hasn't arrived for dinner yet. She's still out with Paul. Frank had said that he wanted Harm to check out something with him, so they left a little while ago.

I'm standing on the deck, looking out to the ocean where we'd spent last weekend. Every time I'm alone, whether it be in the shower, my office or here on the Burnett deck, I think about our appointment last Thursday.

I take a sip from my tall, cool glass of lemonade and remember what I wrote in my journal on Friday morning.

Friday, June 2, 2006

Yesterday was the day...the day we got the final word from the doctor. It wasn't as if she said anything that I wasn't expecting, but the news was hard to swallow just the same.

I swear that Harm sat up a little straighter and a worry line disappeared when the doctor gave us the results of his sperm test. He has good swimmers and lots of them, so no problem there.

The doctor still feels that my chances are in the low double digits, 15 percent at the very most. The doctor said that she still recommends in vitro fertilization because she believes that _becoming_ pregnant is where my condition presents the biggest problem.

Harm sat on the edge of his seat and listened to all the medical particulars and asked questions. I listened, but I know that I missed things. The truth is that I didn't care about the specifics or the medical terms for any of it. I just wanted to know what I have to do and when I could start the process.

It turns out that the calendar that I've been keeping was just what the doctor ordered, so to speak. The tracking of my periods each month was useful in establishing when I could start the treatments. The hormones that I'll need are started during a woman's cycle, so I can begin treatment later this month when mine starts.

**SAME TIME  
A FEW BLOCKS AWAY**

We travel a few blocks in silence until Frank's car pulls up outside a house that I hadn't thought about in years until I'd recently mentioned it to Mac. It's the first house that Mom, Frank and I lived in together.

Before we get out of the car, I ask, "Frank, why did you bring me over here?"

"I still own the place. The renters moved out over the Memorial weekend. They lived here for ten years, so I thought that you and I could check it out to see what kind of shape it's in."

We get out of the car and head for the front door.

Frank has to jiggle the key in order to get the door unlocked.

We step inside and have a look around. As we move from room to room, we discuss the work that needs to be done to the place before it's rented again or things that should be upgraded if he plans to sell."

As we take our tour, I pause several times at a doorway or lag behind Frank when leaving a room, distracted by a momentary flash of memory from the time so long ago when we lived here. I'm surprised that the things that I remember leave such a warm feeling within me. I guess, when you grow up, the new perspective allows you to appreciate what you couldn't at the time. After such a memory moment, I find myself alone in the bedroom that was once mine and I go in search of Frank.

I see Frank standing outside on the patio out back, looking over the yard towards the pool and guesthouse. I move towards the French doors to join him.

"Have you already checked out the guesthouse?" I ask once I've reached him.

"No, not yet," he replies.

Frank sticks his hands in his pockets and looks at me. "Harm, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Yeah," I say, wondering how personal it's going to be.

"Is everything okay between you and Mac?"

"Yes, everything's fine. What makes you ask?"

"When Mac has come to pick up Ty the past couple of weeks, she just hasn't seemed to be herself...and today, I sensed some distance between the two of you. I know that it really isn't any of my business, but I'm concerned about her...about the two of you."

"I appreciate your concern, Frank, but there isn't anything to worry about." He casts me a look of disbelief. "Really," I reply to his questioning gaze.

"I'm glad to hear it. I know that I'm not your dad, Harm, but if you ever need to talk about anything..." His voice trails off.

"That statement isn't quite right. You aren't my father, but you've always been there for me if I needed you. That's makes you my dad."

The words just fell out of my mouth, and I can't take them back now. I meant what I said, so though I hadn't planned on saying them, I don't regret it. Since I've started, I need to finish what I have to say.

"I know that I've never treated you like my dad, but, in my defense, I didn't really understand the difference between being a father and being a dad until after Mattie had been in my life for a while. By the time I figured it out, I felt that it was too late, that I'd lost the chance to tell you, so it didn't seem right to talk about it before now."

Frank has tears pooling in the corners of his eyes and pulls me into a hug that I return.

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say it now," he says as he pulls back from the embrace. "For the record, it was worth the wait." He offers a smile and, before the scene gets too emotional, he says, "Well, the pool may not be in perfect chemical balance, but it isn't green, so let's go check out the guesthouse before we head back for dinner."

In the guesthouse, a leather couch that was left behind reminds me of my furniture. "When you've seen Mac this week, did she tell you that there was a message on the machine on Tuesday when we got home? I called on Wednesday to find out that my household goods have arrived in San Diego. I guess that puts the pressure on Mac and me to find a bigger place so that we have space for all of our things."

We're heading back through the house, having inspected the guesthouse and the rest of the place when Frank stops in the living room.

"My real estate friend, Fred, was supposed to show you this house this weekend for me, but he had to go out of town again. I wanted him to show you the place because I didn't think that you'd entertain my offer if it came directly from me, but after our talk a few minutes ago, now I think that you'll at least consider it."

"Frank, this house has got to go for one and a half to two million dollars. That's over our budget."

"I have a proposition for you. Hear me out, and then take a week to think about it...that's all I ask."

I nod, letting him know that I'm listening, so he continues.

"I'll sell you a share of the house, say fifty percent. In exchange for your share, you'll pay to have all the needed work done to the place."

"Doesn't sound like you're getting a fair deal to me. The renovation won't come close to the value of even half of the house."

"I figure that, if you add up the actual cost, the time investment and the aggravation that I won't have in dealing with contractors, it'll be a fair price to me. Besides, your wife hasn't seen the place yet. You may be in for an extensive renovation...you just don't know it yet," Frank says with a laugh.

He holds out the keys to the house as he continues, "Take the keys...think over my offer. If you find yourself leaning towards the idea, show the place to your wife. You can let me know what your decision is next Sunday when you come to dinner."

When I take the keys, I already know that it isn't a decision that I can make for the family without discussing it with Mac.

Frank drives us back to the house, allowing me to begin to think about his offer.

By the time we get back to Mom's, I find myself settling into the idea of moving back to a place where I'd lived as a kid.

**BURNETT RESIDENCE**

**AFTER DINNER**

I caught Harm staring off into space during dinner. He wasn't listening to any of the conversation that we were having.

Immediately after dinner, Harm asked Mattie and Ty to help Grandma clean up the table because he and I needed to run an errand, but we wouldn't be gone long. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the front door. Frank gave us a big smile and said for us to take our time. He obviously knew where we were going.

Harm's been driving for only four minutes and thirteen seconds when he pulls the car into the driveway of a house that's only blocks from the Burnett home.

"You remember the house that the real estate agent friend of Frank's was supposed to show us? Well, this is it."

"Harm, this place is a few blocks from the ocean, but, even without the ocean view, it'll cost way too much."

"That's what I told Frank, but the owner has proposed a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I ask skeptically.

"Let's take a look at the place first. That way I'll know if you're really interested in living here or if you're just settling for it because we'd be getting a good deal."

I consent, and soon we're taking a tour of the main house. We walk through several rooms before we come to the bedrooms.

In the third bedroom that we enter, Harm makes a statement that catches me off guard.

"This used to be my room."

"Your room? When?"

"The first house that I told you about living in with Frank...this is it."

"And this was your room?" I ask, seeking to confirm what he'd just told me.

He only nods to indicate an affirmative answer to my question.

After the tour, we return to the car, but Harm doesn't start it.

"I know that it needs some work, but what do you think about the house?" he asks.

"It's very nice, but it does need some work. I counted six bedrooms. Do we really need that much room?"

"It may be a little larger than we need...but, if we end up with even half of the six children that you said that you wanted, it won't be too big," he says with a grin.

"Harm, will living here bring back bad memories for you?"

"No, I'm ready to leave the past behind." His eyes divert from mine. "I guess you could say that I've come to terms with the fact that Frank isn't my father, but he is my dad...and no matter how old your child is, you want to help them. Frank still owns the place. He wants to sell us an interest in this house to give us a start."

Harm and I sit in the car while he explains the deal that Frank has put on the table, and we talk about the pros and cons before heading back to pick up Mattie and Ty.

By the time we pull into the drive at the Burnett house, we've agreed that Ty and Mattie should see the house before we make any decision.

Harm's exhibiting excitement that Ty and Mattie don't understand as we leave the Burnett home, not for the condo, but to give them a tour of our possible new home.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MACKENZIE/RABB CONDO**

Harm is asking about what changes I'd want to make to the house. Do I want my own office space or can we share?

His mind seems to be made up about accepting the offer, but his excitement may be more about being able to get his stuff out of storage.

With our recent talks about our difficulty with having a baby, it's nice to have something lighter in nature to talk about tonight.

**JUNE 12, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**WRITING IN HER JOURNAL**

June 12, 2006

Harm and I accepted Frank's offer to purchase a share in the first home that they'd shared as a family. I'm anxious to have a home, but I'm nervous about the timing of it all.

We're still in the process of adopting Tyler, we're taking on the house project and we're slated to start trying for our baby this month.

I hope that we aren't taking on too much at once.

**JUNE 13, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**WRITING IN HER JOURNAL**

June 13, 2006

I awoke to my period this morning. It's been a very sad experience for me for the last couple of months, but today, it makes me happy. This will be the first month of the process of in vitro fertilization.

I'll be starting the first drug for egg harvesting tomorrow, day two. I know that the journey will be both physically and mentally exhausting, and, according to the doctor, sometimes painful. I'm focusing on the day that she'll tell me that I'm pregnant. That moment makes anything that I go through until then worth it.

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**MID MORNING**

A call from Ty's school requesting a conference with Harm and me this afternoon has no real effect on me, but, by the time that my call with Harm ends, I'm very concerned. I'd called him to see if he could make the appointment, but he already knew about it. He said that Mrs. Morales had already called and asked him to be there.

During our conversation, we come to the conclusion that something's happened at school that has them concerned. Though neither one of us can think of a thing that could bring such immediate attention, we're eager for the day to move along so that we can find out.

**TY'S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL**

**1430 **

Mrs. Morales, the school psychologist, and Ty's teacher are all present. School doesn't let out for another twenty minutes, so Ty is still in class.

I've been here for three minutes and fifty-nine seconds. They've been very nice, making polite small talk, but when I asked why they wanted to see us, the response of 'let's wait for your husband to discuss that' rattled me.

I feel like their eyes are scrutinizing me as we sit here, waiting on Harm.

My nerves are becoming more frazzled as the seconds tick away.

Finally, I hear Harm's voice echo through the office as he asks where he's suppose to report. Thank god, he's here and we can end this mystery.

Harm sits down beside me, and, after introductions, the psychologist gets to the point of our meeting.

"The day before yesterday, Ms. Goldberg gave the children an assignment in class: write five sentences that they want to tell their fathers on Father's Day. This is the paper that Tyler turned in," the woman says before sliding a paper across the table to us.

I cautiously pick up the paper. Harm leans towards me in order to read it over my shoulder.

A father makes you.

A dad loves you.

Sometimes they are the same man.

I don't have a dad yet.

I hope Harm gets to be my dad because I love him.

Harm is close enough to me that I'm able to hear the hitch in his breathing and I know that he's moved by the simple words from the little boy who we love.

"I understand that it probably isn't like what the other children wrote, but Ty's sentences are accurate for his situation, so I'm not sure why they've caused such a stir," I state in a tone that hopefully conveys the confusion that I feel.

"After Ms. Goldberg read them, she brought them to me. I read them and called Tyler into my office earlier today. He and I talked. After I spoke with him, I called Mrs. Morales," the psychologist explains.

Mrs. Jones, the school's psychologist is making me even more nervous, and Mrs. Morales must sense it because she takes over.

"This morning, Tyler told Mrs. Jones that his big sister had explained the difference between fathers and dads to him. The reason that we wanted to meet with you is to speak with you about the insecurity that Tyler has about being adopted that were prominent in Tyler and Mrs. Jones' conversation. Since the doubts of a child usually fade as they live with their prospective adoptive parents, we have some concern that it doesn't seem to be the case with Tyler. We wanted to know if there's something going on at home that would make him feel this way. For example, problems between the couple, even if they aren't displayed in front of the child, can cause the insecurity problem that we're seeing."

I tense. "We aren't having any problems," I reply with my jaw clenched. "We're happy being together and we want Tyler."

Harm, at some point, has grasped my hand, and he squeezes it gently. "What are you trying to tell us?" he asks on our behalf.

"Are you willing to go to family counseling?" Mrs. Jones asks.

"I don't think that it's necessary, but of course we'll go if you think that it's best," I say firmly.

Harm doesn't let any time pass before he's trying to temper my stern demeanor.

"What I think my wife means is that Tyler has had potential parents who backed out. Isn't it possible that he's just getting antsy because he wants to stay with us so much that he's fearful that it'll fall through for some reason? I know that the more time that he spends with us, the more I feel that he's part of our family, and sometimes I'm concerned that something might happen that will take him away. If I have moments of doubt, I think that it would be expected for a seven-year-old to be somewhat fearful when he's already lived through a disappointing experience like that once. I'm not sure that counseling will have any effect on his comfort level. Only finalizing his adoption will make the doubt disappear. However, if you feel that counseling would be beneficial to Tyler or to our family, we have no problem with Ty or the family seeing someone."

"Would it be okay with you if I brought Tyler in here to sit with us and ask him a few questions?" Mrs. Jones asks.

"If it'll help clear this up, of course!" I reply.

They send for Tyler.

When Ty enters the room and sees all of the adults, he starts trembling. He looks at Harm and me. "Am I in trouble?" he asks in a scared voice.

"No," Mrs. Morales answers.

Ty runs to Harm and wraps his arms around his neck. "I don't want to go. Don't let them take me away," he cries.

Harm scoops him up and sets him on his lap. "It's okay, Buddy. They just want to talk to us about the sentences that you wrote for Ms. Goldberg's assignment."

Ty releases his grip on Harm and, as he takes a more relaxed sitting position on Harm's lap, he asks in a little calmer voice, "Did I get them wrong?"

I reach for Ty's hand. "No, you didn't get them wrong. You did a great job of telling the difference between fathers and dads. What we want to know is why you wrote that you don't have a dad yet?" I explain.

The other people in the room are watching us talk with Ty.

"I thought we talked about this. I love you and I want to be your dad..." Harm starts.

Ty cuts Harm off. "But I can't call you dad until the judge says that I'm adopted."

Mrs. Morales comes closer to us and bends down to be on Ty's level. "Tyler, you don't have to wait for the judge to say that you're adopted. If you love him, you can call him dad if you're a hundred percent sure that you want him to be your dad...if it's okay with Harm."

Ty looks up at Harm with the most hopeful expression that I've ever seen.

"Whenever you're ready, it's okay with me," Harm responds to the big blue eyes staring up at him.

A smile the size of the Grand Canyon explodes onto Ty's face as he once again wraps his arms around Harm's neck, squeezing him tightly. Harm's arms wrap around our little boy to return his enthusiastic hug.

I'm getting very emotional at the sight of Harm with our son.

Ty releases Harm and returns to his sitting position on his lap, but the canyon-sized smile is gone. In fact, he has no smile at all. I'm about to ask what's wrong when Ty speaks.

"Miss Rosa, is it the same for Mac? Can I say that she's my mom?"

Miss Rosa smiles at me.

"Whenever you're ready to," I reply as Ty leans towards me and bestows a hug on me, too.

Mrs. Jones clears her throat, bringing our attention back to the others in the room. "Tyler, why don't you go back to your classroom, get your things and come back here? The bell for dismissal will be going off in a few minutes, and you can walk out with your parents."

Ty leaves the room before Mrs. Jones tells us that she doesn't think that counseling will be necessary. In fact, after meeting with us and seeing our interaction with Tyler, she says that she's never seen such a perfect family. She also asks how much longer we think that it'll be before his adoption is final. It surprises me when I realize it. We've made it halfway through: three months down and three months to go.

**MONDAY, JUNE 19, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**WRITING IN HER JOURNAL**

June 19, 2006

This weekend was declared to be a guy's weekend in honor of Father's Day. On Saturday, Frank, Harm and Ty went to a Padres game. On Saturday night, they slept aboard the yacht and didn't come home until mid-afternoon on Sunday.

Even though Harm and I told Tyler almost a week ago that he could call us mom and dad, he hadn't used either word yet.

Mattie and I had already arrived for dinner at Trish and Frank's when they returned to the house from the yacht on Sunday. Frank entered first and then Ty.

I didn't realize how much I'd missed him until I saw him walk through the door, but my fluttering heart would stop a second after seeing him when Ty opened his arms and ran towards me for a hug. "Momma, we had so much fun. Next time you have to come."

Harm's voice boomed as he entered the house, "Ty, get washed up for dinner, or Grandma won't feed you."

I was upset that Harm had ruined my moment with Ty, even though I knew that he had no way of knowing what had just happened because he wasn't in the room yet.

Harm came over to me and embraced me in a welcoming hug. With a tear in my eye, I whispered to him, "He just called me momma."

He whispered back, "And you feel ten feet tall." I pulled back and looked at him. "He came to my room last night and asked, 'Can I sleep in here with you, Dad?' I felt like I was ten feet tall and bulletproof."

Even though Ty called us Mac and Harm for the rest of the day, even when he was giving Harm his Father's Day gift, an iPod to take running with him that Ty had helped me pick out and on which Mattie had loaded music for her part of the gift, when we tucked him into bed, he said, "Good night, Dad. Good night, Momma."

He may have been trying it out to see how it fit us, but saying it only twice was enough to make Sunday a glorious day for Harm and me.


	102. Chapter 102

**PART SIX – Mac's Journal Entries **

June 27, 2006

For the last two weeks, I've felt like I was living at the doctor's office. They were monitoring my hormone levels and assessing when they could harvest my eggs. Waiting to see if I'd have any eggs to harvest was tougher to endure than the blood tests.

Yesterday was my first egg harvest procedure. I was sedated, but I wasn't asleep for it. Harm didn't want to leave me, but I'm glad that he was instructed to go into another room to provide them with the other half of what they need to make our baby.

As I lay there with my legs spread apart, the doctor's words about the chances of IVF working for me echoed in my head. A woman under age thirty has a 40 percent chance of getting pregnant by IVF and a woman of forty has a 15.7 percent chance. I'm in my thirties. What odds does that give me?

June 30, 2006

I had the embryo transfer today. Harm was able to be there with me. He held my hand, and we talked about the frequency with which Ty calls us Mom and Dad versus Harm and Mac now, among other things, such as when the contractors say that the house will be completed. I teased Harm that it's a good thing that I was able to talk him out of doing the majority of the work on the house himself or he wouldn't have had time to get me pregnant. Harm left my side only to get instructions on how to give me the injections that need to be administered to aid implantation.

July 5, 2006

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. We spent most of the day with his parents. Harm fussed over me all day. He hovered around me so much that I'm sure that his parents are suspicious that something is up, but they politely haven't asked.

July 10, 2006

Mrs. Morales came to see us this evening with great news. Mrs. Jones, the psychologist at Tyler's school, was so impressed with our way of dealing with Tyler that she wrote a rather lengthy letter to the Virginia court about how Tyler belonged nowhere else and that she thought that it was in Tyler's best interest to have the adoption finalized immediately. It seems that the Virginia court listened. The judge spoke with Mrs. Morales and, when she agreed with Mrs. Jones, the judge agreed to start pushing things forward. Mrs. Morales says that it may not be much earlier than the original September date, but she's hopeful that it'll happen quickly and that this will be her last visit.

July 11, 2006

Tomorrow I go to the doctor for a pregnancy test. I'm too excited to write anything.

July 12, 2006

NO BABY

July 26, 2006

There had been concern that I wouldn't produce any eggs to be harvested, so I _do_ have something to be grateful for. Last month and yesterday, I had two eggs to harvest. The transfer procedure will take place on Friday.

July 28, 2006

I brought work home yesterday to look over this afternoon. I went for my second embryo transfer this morning. Harm was once again by my side through the procedure. This month during the procedure, we talked about where we wanted to put our furniture in the new place.

It's taken eight weeks, but, tomorrow, we're supposed to do a walk-through with the contractor. As a reward for hiring the contractor to do the main house, I told Harm that he could redo the guesthouse himself as his time allowed. However, Harm hasn't been able to keep himself from getting involved in the main house project completely. However, he's kept his involvement to simple things like painting bedrooms.

After hours of lying still after the procedure, Harm has me at home all tucked into bed. He checks on me about every ten minutes. I secretly enjoy the fuss that he's making over me, but I'm not sure that I could take nine months of it.

He just left the room again. He brought me some tea. I'm glad that today was Mattie and Ty's last day of school. Otherwise, Harm would wear himself out trying to have time for everyone.

July 31, 2006

Harm and I agreed that, at this point, we don't want to tell anyone that we're trying to have a baby, but it can be difficult to keep a secret and still be honest.

On Friday, I was in bed resting, and it raised questions from the children when they came in from school. Harm and I decided on a simple answer, which wasn't the complete truth, but it wasn't a lie either, and told them that I was fine, but that my stomach felt funny so I needed some rest to feel better. Unfortunately, during the entire weekend, Tyler was at my side, fussing over me and asking if my tummy felt better or if I needed to rest some more. It was sweet, but it was hard to get anything done, and there's so much to do since we met with the contractor and are preparing to move from the condo into the house this coming weekend.

On Saturday night, we went out for a celebratory pizza dinner. Pizza was the only food on which our seventeen and seven year olds could agree. The house being ready was cause enough to celebrate, but we had another reason. Both children had good report cards and will be advancing to the next grade in September when they return to school after the break. It's hard to believe that this time next year we'll be celebrating Mattie's graduation from high school.

August 7, 2006

Mattie had recruited Paul and some of his friends to come over on Saturday to help us move the furniture from the condo into the new house.

The young men had no trouble moving the entire contents of the condo in one afternoon.

For the price of half a dozen pizzas for the movers and the cost of a rental truck to move the items to the new location, the condo was emptied.

With three days until my pregnancy test date, I told Harm that I didn't need to be so cautious. I'm either pregnant or I'm not, but he said that there was no reason to take chances, and he wouldn't let me lift anything or move a box.

Though there were boxes left to be unpacked and pictures to be hung, Saturday, August 5th, we spent the night in our new home.

August 10, 2006

NO BABY

August 11, 2006

Yesterday was hard for me. I'm still not handling it very well. I'm 0 and 2 - two tries, two failures.

Harm took yesterday off to go to the doctor with me in the morning, and then he was going home to accept the delivery of his household goods in the afternoon.

When he came across one of his guitars in unpacking last night, I could see that he'd found a long lost friend.

He strummed over the strings with his thumb, the sound bringing Ty into the room. "Harm, do you know how to play the guitar?" The unpacking ended for the night when Harm said, "Of course, I do."

I couldn't blame Harm for indulging in a form of relaxation that he hasn't been able to enjoy for about five months, especially when it was egged on by our son.

Ty oscillates between calling us Harm and Mac and Mom and Dad, so the fact that, after finding out that Harm did play the guitar, he requested, "Then will you play something, Dad?" How could Harm do anything other than play a few songs? He put on a nice 'show,' and Ty thought that it was "cool" that his dad could be a rock star if he wanted.

August 15, 2006

Yesterday was my birthday. No one had said a word about it, so I didn't think that Harm remembered, but, to my surprise, I received a dozen yellow roses at the office yesterday morning. The card read: Happy Birthday, Love, Your family.

Harm showed up at my office to take me to lunch and asked if I had a favorite restaurant here yet because the rest of the family wanted to take me to dinner.

I didn't pick a restaurant, but someone did. I was taken to dinner where we were joined by the Burnetts.

After a wonderful dinner, Trish and Frank took Ty and Mattie home, and Harm took me dancing.

We came home around midnight. I wish we could have made love, but the timing was all wrong.

**MONDAY, AUGUST 21, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**WRITING IN HER JOURNAL**

August 21, 2006

Harm has missed going to only one appointment with me, and that was when he'd been out flying his F-18 quals. I'd always found it comforting to have him with me or nearby until today.

Today was different and, for the first time, I wished that he hadn't come.

As if I wasn't struggling enough with my emotions between the two attempts at pregnancy and the hormones that I take in trying to obtain the goal, today's visit to the doctor was a disaster.

After getting my blood drawn, Harm and I were waiting to see the doctor for a date for the eggs to be harvested.

The doctor came into the office where we were seated and waiting, and the news wasn't good. She told us that, this month, there weren't any eggs to harvest.

She tried to lighten the mood. "I know that it isn't good news for you, Sarah, but look at it this way. For the next couple of weeks, have fun, have sex without worrying if it's a day that you shouldn't because it's too close to some procedure date. She smiled. "Enjoy your 'vacation,' and we'll start again with your next cycle."

I looked at Harm who hadn't even cracked a tiny smile at the doctor's suggestion of a normal sex life for a couple of weeks. Instead, he's serious and asks, "With no eggs this month, does that mean that there might not be any eggs next month?"

He wants to get clinical and starts discussing the odds that there won't be eggs again next month and other options with the doctor like donor eggs - like I wasn't even in the room!

I knew that having a child was important to him, but I thought that he'd give me more than ninety days to make it happen.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**RABB HOME **

Neither Harm nor I had much to say during dinner.

I just don't know how to pretend to be happy and talk as if my life is wonderful. My husband is talking about getting eggs from another woman or using a surrogate. I've lost my wonderful life.

I was thankful that Tyler wanted to watch a movie tonight for his activity. I don't think that my brain cells could hold up to even a game of Go Fish.

I've come into our master bedroom. The bed that we picked out together in London looms like an awaiting noose instead of the comfortable respite that it should be. After this morning, I don't know if he'll even want me in bed with him tonight.

Speaking of which, where is he? I move quickly to change and get into bed. Surely he won't kick me out if I'm already in bed and comfortable.

I've no sooner gotten into bed than Harm enters the room. My heart sinks at his facial expression. He wants to talk. A voice starts screaming inside my head. 'No, no, _no_..' I swallow hard. 'I didn't think that it would end like this or this soon' is the thought swirling inside my head when I see his mouth open.

"I didn't think that you'd be in bed already. I thought that you might want to talk," he says.

"About what?"

He shrugs his shoulder. "I don't know...maybe the news that the doctor gave us this morning."

Internally, I snort, 'News the doctor gave _us_?' Yeah, right. 'More like she gave me _my _two minute warning.'

"You asked a lot of questions about donor eggs, surrogacy and how long we should try in vitro before we try something else. I haven't had time to process everything she said yet. We can talk about it tomorrow."

I pull the covers up to my chin and roll over. I feel the sting of tears forming and I don't want him to see them. A tear rolls across the bridge of my nose and lands on my pillow while I listen to him move about the bedroom, getting ready to come to bed.

It takes me a couple of minutes, but I've gotten my emotions under control, and the tears are gone when I feel his hand on my hip and his lips brush my cheek. "I'll go do the final check on Ty tonight. I'll be back in a minute. Good night."

I don't breathe until I hear our bedroom door open. I let out a heavy sigh. I love him so much. I'm so emotional and conflicted. I can't let him leave me, but I can't burden him with me either.

This is the first time that I wish that we weren't living together. I need some time and space away from him to sort out my feelings.

August 22, 2006

I've thought about it all night. What I need is time alone to process the changes in my life.

The last three months would be a roller coaster ride for anyone, but a woman taking hormones to have a baby added to the mix just makes this woman think that she's crazy.

I need time to make a plan of action. I'm a Marine. If I have a plan, I'll be ready when he leaves and I'll be okay, but I need a plan.

I need to get out of town for a few days...alone.

**WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**0930**

The buzz of the intercom echoes off the walls of my office and startles me out of my thoughts.

I'm surprised by the visitor that Petty Officer Coates says is here to see me.

I rise from my chair and move towards the door to meet him. The door opens, and I extend my hand.

"Director Kershaw, what brings you to San Diego? Or, more to the point, what brings you here to see me?"

"I guess you wouldn't believe that I just came by to say hello," the director of the CIA replies to my question.

"No."

"I've come to give you an assignment," he says.

"The only problem with that is that I don't work for you," I point out.

"I've contacted the Secretary of the Navy, but I've apparently arrived before he's had time to notify you."

On cue, the phone rings, and I walk over to pick it up. "Colonel MacKenzie."

After several minutes on the phone with the SecNav, I respond, "Yes, Mister Secretary, I understand."

A few moments later, the SecNav ends the call.

"Goodbye, sir," I say before hanging up the phone. I look at Kershaw who has an arrogance about him that causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.

"I guess you've cleared it with the powers that be, but the SecNav did say that there wouldn't be any repercussions if I declined," I inform him.

"What I want you to do is a matter of great importance to our national security. You won't decline."

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**1100**

I walked into Harm's office, sure of what I was going to say, but his handsome face looking at me and not knowing what I'm about to tell him has me wanting to retreat from the room.

Director Kershaw has had me chauffeured around to make my stops. I'd agreed to take his assignment to make the world a safer place for my family, but I'd imposed a two-hour delay before my departure to see my children and husband.

Maybe I'm being super sensitive, but I get a feeling that Harm knows that something's amiss even before I speak.

"Harm, I've come by to tell you that I'm leaving on business. The assignment shouldn't take more than a couple of days, but, with travel time, I could be gone for up to a week."

He stands and moves towards me, looking at me like he's seeing some kind of alien with three heads. "Where are you going?"

"Can't say."

He stops and cocks that eyebrow of his and asks. "What kind of case is it?"

"Harm..."

"Damn it, Mac. You can't go!"

"You think that being married gives you the right to tell me what I can and can't do?" Anger is building up within me by the second.

"You know that Webb's missions never go the way he plans them." His voice softens. "What about Ty and Mattie? What am I supposed to tell them?"

"First of all..." My hands automatically come up to rest on my hips. "...Director Kershaw is the one who came to me, not Webb...and second, I wouldn't just leave. I went to see Mattie and Ty at your parents' house and talked briefly with them. I told them that I had to leave on business and that I'd probably be gone for a week. I told Ty not to worry if I didn't call because I was going to be traveling part of the time and working the rest of the time so that I could get back home as soon as possible and that I wasn't going to be able to call like I did during my last trip away."

He steps forward. "I'm having a case of deja vu." He's closed the gap between us.

The softness in his voice and eyes makes me want to throw my arms around him and kiss him to death.

I relax my stance and put my arms back at my sides. "My car is waiting," I say softly.

His hand comes up to cup my cheek, and I lean into his touch. "Mac, I don't want you to go." His lips come to mine.

The kiss is soft, slow and deliberate, and it warms my heart. 'He does love me,' I think as I give into this break in military protocol and put my arms around his neck, holding his lips to mine for a little while longer.

Once our lips part, I pull back just a little at first and say softly, "I'm not leaving you."

"It sure seems like it. It's been an emotional few months for us...for you, and you won't talk to me about it."

I pull out of his embrace. "I should've been on my way forty-three seconds ago. I have to go."

I turn towards the door. The last thing that I hear before the door closes behind me is his voice warmly saying, "Be careful. I love you," and it brings a lump to my throat.

As the car leaves the NCIS parking lot, I begin to question if I have a reason for going on this assignment other than to keep my country, and therefore, our children safe from terrorists.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**RABB HOME**

**LATE NIGHT**

I've just come back from checking on Ty for the third time tonight.

Ty is sleeping soundly. I'm not checking on him for him. I'm checking on him because I can't sleep.

I can't stop thinking about Mac being god knows where, doing god knows what.

Memories of the last time that I was in this situation keep me from wanting to attempt to sleep. I don't want to have nightmares like I did when she was in Paraguay.

I don't care if it was Kershaw, Webb or the Pope who asked her to do this job. Why did she go?

I haven't been sensitive enough to what she's been going through, that's why. I start to pace. I haven't asked the right questions. I haven't been supportive enough in changing to a new option.

I'll read up on other options while she's gone. She won't talk to me, but I can talk to her when she gets back.

I turn to go to the computer in the office, but a glint of something sparkling on top of her dresser catches my attention. I walk a little closer to get a better look.

I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach when I see that the sparkle is caused by the light reflecting off the stones in her rings that are sitting together on the dresser. She doesn't have anything with her to remind her of me, of her family waiting for her return.

It's going to be a long week. If I keep myself busy, I'll get through it. I start making a list of things to do this week: research baby options, make a list of projects to be done in the guesthouse, make a supplies list, get supplies, work on projects.

I leave the list out so that I can add to it as I think of other things before I go to check on Ty again.

On my way to Ty's room, I realize that Mac doesn't know about the letter that came in today's mail from the court in Virginia. It's a form that asks if we'd like to change Tyler's name at this time or leave his name as Tyler Patterson.

It's something that Mac and I haven't talked about, but I hope that she's okay with changing his last name to Rabb. Of course, since she still uses MacKenzie, Tyler MacKenzie wouldn't be a bad moniker to go by. Let's see...which sounds better, Tyler Rabb or Tyler MacKenzie?

I think it's a toss up. Either one sounds good. Of course, there is a chance that Tyler may not want to change his name. I'll add that to my list: check with Ty to see what his opinion is on a new last name.

Why did Mac have to go? She's been gone for only about fourteen hours, but I think that I'm already falling apart.

She's the center of this family. Doesn't she know that? Without her, none of this would be possible, not the house or the children.

That's two more things for the list: start thinking about how to convince Mac how important she is to me and that I need her, and think of something special to do for our first anniversary.


	103. Chapter 103

**PART SEVEN – The Mission **

**MONDAY, AUGUST 28, 2006**

**HARM'S OFFICE**

**MID AFTERNOON**

I get no warning - the door to my office just swings open and in steps Clayton Webb. "Rabb, we need to talk," he says before he shoves my door closed with a little too much force, causing it to rattle in the frame.

"First, I want to tell you that I had nothing to do with sending Sarah on this mission. It was all Kershaw's idea to ask her."

I stand in hopes that my height will be threatening enough to get the truth from him. "I wouldn't believe you except for the fact that you're here in my office, meaning that you couldn't have been using it as a way to spirit her away to see if you could sweep her off her feet. However, since she isn't with you, where in the hell is she?"

Clay lets out a sigh while stroking his hair back with his hand. I lean forward, bracing myself against the edge of my desk. This isn't going to be good. I can feel it.

"She should be on her way back here, but she didn't show at the rendezvous point."

I can't say anything because my stomach is in my throat. I don't know if I'm more angry or scared.

The scene in the admiral's office when he told me that Mac and Webb had missed check-ins from Paraguay flashes through my mind. My legs feel like spaghetti, and I have to sit back down.

I become aware that Webb is still speaking, so I focus on his voice.

"There was a tracking chip stitched into her clothing, and we've located the signal, but we can't go in to have a look."

"Why?" I say in a tone that demands an answer.

"Because the signal is coming from inside the borders of Iran and we can't go in there without the potential of causing an international incident. A war with Iran maybe inevitable, but I'm not going to be the one responsible for starting it.

"What's your plan for getting her back, or is there one?" I say in a tone that demands that he answer me.

"Sarah made all her check-ins up until she was a no show at the rendezvous point where she was supposed to meet one of our agents. We also can't find the contact who was supposed to pass her the information, so she isn't the only one missing."

I understand what he's going to say, so I take over the conversation, "So the CIA has approved a search for the information, and you hope to find Mac and whoever else in the process, but there are no guarantees."

"Correct. I told Kershaw that your performance in Paraguay proves that you're the best man for this job. You'll stop at nothing to find Sarah, and your sense of duty and loyalty to your country will compel you to complete the mission by delivering the information to us. Are you in, Rabb?"

"Yeah, I'm in..." I say disgruntled. I shouldn't have to go get her, but I can't _not_ go get her, and something tells me that Webb told that to Kershaw before he asked Mac to go on this mission.

I glance at my watch "...but I need to do something before I can leave town."

"You can't tell anyone about this, Rabb."

"Did you forget? I took assignment protocol 101 in the same place that you did. I have no intention of telling anyone where I'm going or what I'm going to be doing. My mother and Frank won't question the fact that I have orders to go out of town on business, and I hope that, because we've told the children that this might happen some day, that Mac and I might be called away on business at the same time, it won't be too hard for them to understand."

"Meet me at the air terminal at NAS North Island in an hour and a half. I'll brief you while we're in the air," Webb says before leaving my office.

**BURNETT HOME**

The talk with Mom and Frank went well. In fact, Frank is excited to have Ty overnight while he's out of school.

I have a feeling that bedtime will be just one of the rules that gets tossed out the window while Ty's here.

The talk with Tyler and Mattie is a little rougher. Ty isn't sure about having both of his parents away at the same time, but I have an assignment to give him while we're gone that should help.

"Hey, Buddy, I have something for you to think about while we're gone. The court sent some papers to the house about finalizing your adoption. They want to know if we..._you_ want to change your name, so you can think about that while I'm gone."

"I like the name Tyler 'cause you can make it short and call me Ty."

I forgot the number one rule when talking to a smart seven-year-old: 'Be very clear about what you mean.'

It's Mattie who rescues me. "No, he means your last name. He wants you to think about whether you want to keep Patterson or change it to Rabb, like them."

"Exactly, you think about it while I'm gone, okay?"

I can tell by the intense look in his eyes as we have a last hug and exchange goodbyes that he's taking his assignment very seriously and, with something to keep his mind occupied, Ty's going to be fine while we're gone.

Grandpa then says to him, "Come on, Ty. We'll have a great time without your parents here to spoil our fun. Let's go see what Grandma has to snack on in the kitchen." Ty gives me one last squeeze before he turns and takes Grandpa's hand as they leave the room.

Mattie's a different story. She's too wise for her years. She isn't buying the timing of our out of town assignments as coincidence. Mattie waits until Ty has disappeared down the hall with Frank before saying anything, but when she says it, it's straight to the point.

"You're going to go get Mac, aren't you?"

I tried to lie to Mattie once, and she caught me. I told myself then that I'd never lie to her again, even if my reason was to protect her from something. "Yes."

"Is she okay?" Mattie asks.

"We don't know."

Mattie wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes hard. I return her hug, but with less vigor.

When we pull apart, her voice is soft. "You'd better be careful and you'd better bring her home."

I offer only a nod to acknowledge her orders before placing a kiss on the top of her head and leaving to carry out my assignment.

**TWO HOURS LATER**

I breathe a sigh of relief that I make it to the terminal on time.

As the crew and pilot prepare for our departure, another wave of doubt about making this trip washes over me.

I knew that it wouldn't be a problem to get my parents to look after the children, but I don't like leaving them not knowing whether or not I'll be bringing Mac back with me.

If I stay behind, they'll have one parent for certain. If I go and I'm not successful, they may not have any.

The part of me that loves our children doesn't want to go, but a bigger part of me can't get the thought out of my head of Mac being out there somewhere waiting for me to come for her. I have to go. I can't leave her out there. I have to reunite our family.

Fear grips me. I'd gone to Paraguay to bring her back and tell her that I wanted to make a home for us and have a family, but my plan didn't go so well and it took two years to get things right after that fiasco. I hope this time goes better than last time.

My body shudders at my next thought. What if she shed her clothing with the transponder in it to lose herself among the people? She knows the language. Her heritage gives her the look of someone from the region. Has she simply left me and our life together behind?

There has been some distance between Mac and me as of late, and I believe that it's all tied to having a baby. Among the things that the fertility treatments have done to our perfect life is eliminate the ability to have a spontaneous moment of intimacy. We're limited to the "free days" of the month that won't interfere with... It doesn't matter why, but it certainly isn't the way that I'd prefer to have relations with my wife - by the calendar.

Thinking about it now, at least one other reason for our distance is that she's pushed me away a little more each month after a negative pregnancy test, and the worst part is that I've let her do it. I've let her have her space to deal with the disappointment. I haven't put up a fight. I haven't let her know that, though I don't blame her because it isn't her fault, I'm disappointed, too, and that if we stick together, we'll be okay.

I realize now that finding Mac and getting her to safety is only a small part of my mission. I need to bring her _home _and make sure that she understands that she's the only one with whom I want a family, that being with her is more important than having a baby and that I'll be happy with her if our family never grows beyond Mattie and Ty. Making sure that she knows that is the only way to save our marriage from crumbling under the stress of trying to have a baby.

Webb's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "We're about to take off. We'll talk once we've reached cruising altitude."

I nod in understanding and turn to look out the window.

**IN FLIGHT**

**AN HOUR LATER**

This aircraft has to be part of the CIA fleet since there's an area with a small conference table in it. As I start to take in the other unique features, Webb asks me to come over to the table. When I join him there, I see an enlarged map of the Middle East laid out on it.

"She joined a band of Kurds that has a leader who's sympathetic to the United States...here." He puts his index finger on a spot on the map. "Her assignment was simple. She was to travel with the Kurdish group in their normal pattern to the Iranian border where she'd slip from the group at night to meet with an agent who'd pass her vital information on terrorists living within the United States, locations in the United States and Europe that are intended terrorist targets, and the latest Intel on the threat of Iran on the United States. Once she had the Intel, she was to return to the group and continue with the Kurds until they reached the point where the leader was instructed to rendezvous here..." Webb points to another spot on the map. "...with an agent who would take her to the next point where she'd turn over the information and be debriefed during a flight back home."

"Why do you trust this Kurd leader?" I ask.

"Because he sees something in it for him and his people. The Kurds hope that the United States will take over the region and recognize Kurdistan as an independent country. Why am I explaining this to you, Rabb? It doesn't matter why we trust him."

"I think it does matter, because Mac and your precious information are missing. You can't find her, and something tells me that you haven't found him either. Since he's the last person who you're sure saw her, who's to say that he didn't kill Mac after she picked up the Intel and is working on finding a buyer for your information as we speak?"

"Speculating isn't helpful, so let's stick to the facts," Webb says defiantly.

"You said that the tracking device in her clothing indicates that she's still in Iran. Can you narrow that down to a smaller area?"

Webb's eyes start scanning the map. "Her signal has been coming in loud and clear from the same spot for the last twenty-two hours." He puts his index finger on the map. "Here, about fifty miles inside the border, in or near Mahabad." He looks at me like he's making sure that I'm not going to back out of the mission before he starts to give me any more details. "Your cover story may raise a few eyebrows, but no farther than you'll have to travel into the country, it'll do. The problem will be when you meet up with Sarah. If she says the wrong thing, your cover will be blown and there'll be no way for us to go in and get you. We're going to use Marines to get you as close to the Iranian border as possible. You'll travel by camel with a guide who'll serve as your translator as well."

"I hope that he isn't another Kurd who wants to do you a favor," I say sarcastically, referring to my guide.

"No, he's an American CIA operative of Iranian descent. Now, where was I? Oh yes, once you've crossed into Iran, your cover story is that you're with an American contracting company out of Baghdad who's been working on rebuilding Iraq. You traveled back to the United States recently and, when you returned, you found that your Iranian wife, whom you met while in Baghdad on business, must have thought that you weren't returning because you were told that she left while you were away. You were told that she was heading to her parents home near Mahabad. When you reach Mahabad, you'll locate Mac by zeroing in on the transponder signal."

"You said for the last twenty-two hours. Where was it coming from before then?" I ask.

"It was coming from Miandowab...here, another fifty miles east, and then, several days ago, the signal began to travel until it became steady in Mahabad."

"So she went farther in, but she's making her way back to the border?"

"It would seem that way..." Webb replies.

"Or at least her clothing is traveling," I finish.

Webb nods in acknowledgment.

Neither one of us want to speak of the reasons why her clothing could be traveling without her in them. We both know a few reasons - some good, but mostly bad. After a few moments of silence, I've managed to form a question that ventures as close to the topic of her not being with her clothes as I want to get.

"What if she isn't in Mahabad? The cover story that you've given me isn't going to give me carte blanche to roam around a country that isn't real wild about Americans."

"The signal is coming from Mahabad," he says firmly. He can't bring himself to think of what her clothing without her in them means, either. I can see it in his eyes - he's still in love with her. "Don't make me regret bringing you in on this," he states through clenched teeth.

"You won't regret it, Webb. I'll find her. You'll get your Intel...and Mac and I will once again have saved your ass," I say with a scowl.

"You should get some sleep. We'll be landing soon," Webb says without acknowledging my last comment.

Knowing that we haven't been in the air long enough to be in the Middle East, I shoot a questioning glance his way, and he responds.

"We'll be switching aircraft, and Kershaw will join us with any last minute instructions and updated information that's been collected before we fly the rest of the way."

"You're sure taking your sweet time getting me there. For yours and Kershaw's sake, she'd better be alive and well when I arrive."

I see Webb swallow hard before I turn to go to my seat for the rest of the flight.

Once I've returned to my uncomfortable seat, I lean back and close my eyes. I take in deep breaths and let them out, trying to induce a trance-like level of concentration that nothing can penetrate.

A repeating thought is displayed in my mind as I try to send Mac a message. 'Hang in there, Mac. I'm on my way.'

**THE MISSION - PART II**

**TUESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2006**

**NEAR MAHABAD, IRAN**

**LATE EVENING**

**MAC'S POV  
**

I met the contact, who turned over the information as planned, but when I got back to where I'd left the Kurds, they were gone.

Unsure of what to do, I headed back towards the place where I'd met the informant. There were a few people around, and I overheard two men talking about Kurds who'd been fired upon by Iranian soldiers. Well, that answered where they'd gone. They'd been forced to leave me behind out of fear for their own safety.

Hoping that a man with the contacts to gather information for the CIA would've heard the same news that I'd just heard, I continued on to the location where I'd met with him. As I'd hoped, he'd heard the news and had returned to wait to see if I'd return.

We agreed that, for the next few days, the border would be carefully watched. He felt that our rendezvous point was too close to the border to be safe, and his children wouldn't be safe if he took me to his home in Mahabad. His solution was for us to travel to Miandowab where his grandmother lives. Once there, we'd wait for word that the patrols at the border had decreased in hopes of getting me safely back into Iraq.

We didn't get word that the patrols were decreasing, but his brother arrived several days ago to tell us that American troops were coming closer and closer to the border. Our hope was that they were searching for me, which made it time for me to move back closer to the border. We headed out to Mahabad that afternoon.

I've been in his home here in Mahabad with his wife and children for twenty-five hours and thirty two minutes. They're nice people, but as a woman in a man's country, I feel alone and I find that, since I'm not sleeping, I have too much time to think - think about things like, 'Why did I think that this mission would go any better than the last one that I went on for the Company?'

It isn't that Harm has to be with me, literally, but I need to know that I have his support in what I'm doing. He didn't want me to go the last time and he didn't want me to go this time, but I wasn't listening.

Did Harm not want me to go because he sensed that something was going to go wrong...or did something go wrong because he didn't want me to go?

Too concerned for my safety to let my guard down for even a brief nap, I'm delirious from lack of sleep. For my second night here, I sit rocking the informant's little girl. As the girl of four or five starts to fall to sleep, I start to dwell, not on the life that I left behind to carry out a mission that was to make my country a safer place for my family, but on the life that I'd have here if I can't get back home.

The story that's been told to explain my presence here is that he traveled to his grandmother's home to bring his sister to meet a prospective husband.

A tear falls from my eye and onto the cloth covering most of my face. Here, I have no identity. I'm a woman and nothing more. If I'm stranded here for the rest of my days, my life won't be easy.

In time, a man will take interest in the man's unmarried sister and want me in marriage. To keep my true identity a secret and thus to keep safe this innocent family who've taken me in, I'll be given to a man to be his wife.

I find it comforting that I had the opportunity to be Harm's friend, his lover and his wife, if only for a little while. No man will ever be able to take his place in my heart or erase the memory of his touch from my mind.

I place the child in my arms down to sleep and find a corner in which to sit and continue my dark thoughts.

Harm is a handsome man and will find a woman to love him and give him a child...a child that should have been our child.

My lone tear has company now as I begin to sob softly. I love him so much, but these last few months have been hard on me. He can't understand how I feel about not being able to have a child, so I haven't even tried to talk to him about it.

Alone here, I regret that. I regret that, if it's here that I'm to remain, he'll never know that I love him more than anything else in this world.

The other children are asleep and, as she did last night, the little girl that I'd rocked to sleep earlier has awakened after only a few hours. I wipe the tears from my eyes as I move closer to the child to soothe her back to sleep before she wakes the other children.

Last night in the quiet room, I started to tell her a bedtime story, a made up tale of a woman who was kidnapped by a man from another kingdom, but the woman wasn't just any woman, but the one with whom the prince of her country had fallen in love. Tonight, with the other children asleep, she asks to hear the rest of the story. Of course, it's going to end with the prince traveling the world to get his true love back, and they'll marry and live happily ever after.

I watch the little girl, the happy ending having left the child resting peacefully. I sigh and think, if I were a little girl who believed in fairy tales, I'd think that Harm was coming for me, but he doesn't have a reason to come for me. He was hurt and felt as if I were leaving him. He said so, but at the time, I didn't hear it.

I _was_ leaving him, but not because I don't love him and not because I'm unhappy in our marriage. I'm afraid that I didn't make that clear to him.

Director Kershaw had said the right things to get me to go, words like 'duty,' 'courage' and 'honor,' and the icing on the cake - 'protect your family by protecting your country.'

However, the truth is that I was looking to get away. I needed time alone to think, and though a CIA mission may not seem like the perfect situation for reflection, I've found that doing something for the greater good can supply you with a different perspective and I can see things more clearly, so it seemed like a good idea when Kershaw was standing in my office asking me to carry out this mission.

With my time here to reflect, I can see how Harm might have thought that there were more than those reasons for my departure.

I stand to leave the child's side. I'd been unaware of her mother watching me until she speaks to me.

"You have a way with children. How many do you have?"

In that moment, my fatigue vanishes as the memory of me soothing Tyler to sleep in those first few days that he was with us flashes into my mind. "One son," I say proudly.

The woman and I speak for several more minutes and, by the time we've finished our talk, the memories of Tyler have flooded my heart, and I know that I must get back. I may lose Harm, but Tyler's my son, and no new woman of Harm's is going to raise him while I'm breathing.

It's late now, but in the morning, I'll speak to the man who brought me here. I need for him to tell me what the best road is to take from here to get into Iraq and the best time for me to depart.

I must get back. I need to talk to Harm to see if I can repair the damage that I've done by not sharing my feelings with him sooner, and if it's too late for us, then I need to get back to care for my son.

**THE MISSION - PART III**

**WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2006**

**HARM'S POV**

We arrived late in the day yesterday and made it to a position considered to be safe near the Iranian border by nightfall. I wanted to cross the border under the cover of darkness, but my guide/translator told me that it would lend credibility to my story if we waited until daylight. He said, "Spies go in by night. A man looking for his wife would go into a village when people are awake to ask if they've seen her."

I couldn't argue with his logic, but I couldn't sleep, knowing that I'm this close. Maybe I couldn't sleep because her signal still hasn't moved. Mac wouldn't stay in one place unless she was hurt...or worse. If she were okay, she'd be trying to make it back into Iraq, knowing that, at some point, she'd encounter the Kurds with whom she'd traveled or, if she were lucky, some of her US Marine friends.

When I'd arrived yesterday and met with the man who's responsible for seeing me safely into and out of Iran, he had information about the Kurds. It seems that the Kurds with whom Mac had been traveling had been attacked by Iranian forces at their border. It isn't known if anyone was hurt, but it could explain why Mac's still in Iran. The Kurds hadn't been able to stay where they'd been camped until she was able to return from her assignment.

As we mount our camels this morning, Director Kershaw's words during our briefing echo inside my head. "Her heritage gives her the looks of a native Iranian. She knows the language. She's someone whom we knew we could trust. I can't tell you how important the information is that she was sent to retrieve. The mission didn't go as planned. I'm sorry."

I could tell from his body language and his tone - he thinks that she's dead. I can't think like that. I have to focus on my task and not let negative thoughts linger. 'It's just like going after a target in the air, Rabb,' I tell myself. 'You don't think about what could go wrong. You focus on taking the other plane out of the sky. That's all.'

**THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 2006**

**NEAR MAHABAD, IRAN**

**MAC'S POV **

I feel strange about referring to the man who's given me food and shelter in my time of need as 'my informant,' but, when I asked him his name, he said, "If I tell you, you will know it."

What kind of answer was that? It sounded like a fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie.

I was finally able to get a few moments to speak with the informant this afternoon about my desire to get across the border. He says that he suspects that, since I'm missing with the information, the increase in patrols by US troops on the Iraqi side are there searching for me. After a discussion, we decide that the best place for me to cross is the place where I came into Iran that first night.

"A woman traveling alone is not safe here," he warns. "I will take you."

"I'm a solider in my country. In your country, I'm a woman, a person of little importance. If I go alone, they won't give me more than a casual glance. If I'm stopped, I'll think of something. You must know that I have no intention of failing. My mission to get back is far more important to me than the mission that brought me here in the first place, so nothing will stand in my way."

I do agree with him about the timing. I should travel later in the day so that more people are on the roads, making it easier for me to blend in with a group.

After our talk, I decide that I need to try to get some sleep. I have a new mission now. I must get back to my family, but my skills and mind will be sharper after some rest.

**THE MISSION - PART IV **

**FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2006**

**NEAR MAHABAD, IRAN**

**HARM'S POV**

I'd pushed my guide to keep going longer than he'd wanted to last night, but I had this feeling that, if we don't reach our destination soon, I'll miss her.

We've arrived at the outskirts of Mahabad, and people have already started to notice the American traveling through their town.

A man approached us a few moments ago and barked something in Farsi at my guide. My guide answered him. After which, he turned to me.

"He wanted to know my reason for bringing an American among our people. I told him that you are searching for your wife who has run away. This is a small place, so the word will travel quickly that we are here."

"I can tell that I'm not a welcome guest, so let's hope that we can zero in on the transponder signal before I'm shot," I say as we continue towards the town center.

**A FEW MILES AWAY **

I managed to get only a few hours of sleep. It seemed to be enough rest to make me ready to get started on my journey though, and I was about to leave when word came that there were strangers in town headed this way. I was shown to a small area that's apparently their idea of a 'safe house'. I'm told that someone will come for me when the strangers have left. I don't protest, but I'm anxious to get on my way, so I hope that these strangers don't delay me too much.

It's hard for me to make out voices from my hiding place, but I can hear noises. They're scrambling to make sure that I'm well hidden. As soon as these strangers are gone, I'll flee, leaving them a little safer.

This is another one of those times when my blasted internal clock is a curse. I've been tucked away for thirteen minutes and twelve seconds. What could be taking so long?

It's then that the little girl to whom I've told the bedtime story over the last two nights appears in front of me. She's excited.

"Your handsome prince has come for you," she says to me.

I presume that what she's saying is that someone is here to help me get out of Iran. I breathe a sigh of relief. Kershaw did send someone to extract me.

I follow the little girl out of the dark and move towards the dim light in the main living area.

The first thing I see is a tall, shadowy form that my heart wants to believe is Harm, and then, easier to see because he's standing in a beam of light, a shorter man.

The little girl tugs on my clothing. I look down, and she smiles sweetly up at me. Before any words can be exchanged between us, I hear one of the men say that the American is searching for his wife.

Was it not just wishful thinking as I'd assumed? Was he really here?

I bring my head up and look towards the men. The taller man has stepped into the light, and I can clearly see that the tall figure is Harm.

I burst out of the darkness and into the light. His face lights up, and I'm blessed with the smile that I've missed so much during my days here.

I can't help but rush to him, and I'm rewarded when his arms wrap around me and he gently pulls me to him.

"You came to take me back," I whisper.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes. "No, I came to take you home...if you want to go."

I offer him a bright smile under the cloth covering my face. "Can we leave now?" I ask, not only eager to get out of here and these clothes, but to get back home.

"Grab whatever you need and let's go," he says.

The CIA had provided me with two sets of clothes. I'd changed into the head to toe covering of a traditional Iranian woman before coming into Iran. The clothing that I'd worn while traveling with the Kurds had supplied the cloth with which to wrap food and water that this family had been so kind to provide for my journey alone back across the border.

I turn to see the little girl with my things and, after I tell her that I hope that she finds a prince some day, my prince and I leave with the man whom I find out a few minutes later is his guide/translator.

Our trip back to the States would begin immediately. My journey home will begin when Harm and I can talk.

I'm still a little fearful that I've pushed him too far away this time, but I have to try to explain and make things right with him.

The fact that he came for me gives me hope. He did say 'I came to take you home,' so maybe it won't be as difficult as I thought it might be.


	104. Chapter 104

**PART EIGHT – Cleaning Up the Mess **

**SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2006**

**HARM'S POV **

We made good time yesterday, making it about half way back to the border of Iraq before bedding down for the night. We aren't safe here, so it isn't the time to let down our guard, but after finding Mac alive and well yesterday, I'm feeling better than I have in more than a week, just the same.

Mac seemed glad to see me. She allowed me to embrace her when we first saw each other, but she didn't sleep next to me last night, at least not at first.

I think that she thought that I was asleep when she lay down behind me, pressed her body against mine and placed her arm around me. I was afraid that I'd scare her off, so I pretended to be asleep. I allowed some time to pass to make it seem as if it was just movement in my sleep before I put my hand over hers. It was the only way that I could feel her skin on mine, and I needed the contact.

This morning, I'm not sure that she slept. She looks as tired as she did when we stopped to make camp. I'm worried about her and I know that this isn't the place to have a heart-to-heart talk, but I was hoping for more of a sign that she wants to go home.

**SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2006**

**MAC'S POV**

I was glad that we made it into Iraq last night before we made camp. We're by no means safe here, but a country full of UN troops gives us far better chances of surviving to make it home than Americans in Iran without legitimate business there.

Our guide estimates that we'll be arriving in Irbil, Iraq around noon. In Irbil, there's a military camp that has a team on stand-by to take Harm and me to an airstrip.

It'll have to do, but it isn't soon enough for me. I'm anxious to get out of this country and get this mission completed so that I can talk to Harm. With the guide present and an unfinished assignment, not to mention our questionable safety, this isn't the place to talk about our personal lives.

Except for the embrace when we saw each other in Mahabad, I haven't been able to allow myself to embrace Harm or for him to embrace me again.

I have so much that I want to say to him, but this isn't the place. 'I need to finish the mission first,' I've been telling myself, but, for the last two nights, I've waited for him to fall asleep before I've lain down next to him. Thankfully, he's been sleeping on his side so that I'm able to lie behind him and put my arm around him. In his sleep, the way he's covered my hand with his has fanned the flames of hope that all will be well between us once I get to speak with him.

**LATER THAT DAY**

**HARM'S POV **

It's obvious that our guide was elated to reach Irbil, not that I can blame him since, when I wasn't urging him to push on for a few more miles, Mac was. We're both more than ready to get out of here.

Mac seems restless, and I don't think that she's been sleeping. She's still keeping me at arm's length, but we've gone from having the guide under foot to being in a military camp, so there still hasn't been a chance for us to have a "personal" talk.

After we arrive, we're told that, depending on how quickly we can get the tasks done, we might have enough time to wash the travel dust off our faces, change into proper military attire and grab some chow while the Marine team makes its final preparations for our departure.

Once we're on the road, we're told that we've got about forty bumpy miles to go in the Humvee until we reach the airstrip. Mac and I joke with our driver that, after two and a half days on a camel, the Humvee ride will be a piece of cake.

I find the rocking of the jeep as it moves over the land calming, and my eyelids drift shut. A bigger jolt than we've been experiencing on the road causes me to wake.

Mac is sitting next to the driver, so I have time to watch her. It's refreshing to be able to see her face now that she's in desert fatigues. I stare at her undetected for a long time. What causes me to stop is the look on her face when she sees something up ahead. I take my eyes off of her for the first time in I don't know how long to see what has Mac's attention. It's the plane that will take us out of here.

Once we're aboard, the flight crew is occupied with their duties, and I don't think that they'd notice if Mac and I sat closer and talked, but I have second thoughts before I move to sit next to her. She's chosen to sit away from me. Maybe she isn't ready to talk. On the other hand, maybe she's just keeping an appropriate distance since we're in uniform aboard a military aircraft headed for a military base in Germany. Touching wouldn't be appropriate here, and I want to touch her, hold her hand, put my arm around her and get to the bottom of whatever it is that's keeping her distant. No, this isn't the place to take her into my arms and tell her that I love her.

I'm not sure that Germany will provide us with the opportunity to talk either when we're informed that Webb will be waiting for us when we arrive. I wish that I could get five minutes alone with her.

Trying to find a bright side in this mess, the corners of my mouth turn up slightly at the thought that, during our layover, I might not have a chance to talk with Mac, but I might be able to call Ty and Mattie.

**SIX HOURS LATER**

**AWAITING CLEARANCE TO LAND **

**MAC'S POV**

I was glad that we had time before departing for the airstrip to wash up. It's amazing what a little splash of water on the face, a change of clothes and a little snack can do for a girl.

Harm's presence, though we're keeping a strict military distance between us, has caused my determination to grow with each minute to talk to him and get us back on track.

From the moment that we'd settled into our seats for this flight, I've felt Harm's eyes on me. He's been watching me.

I've been able to avoid making eye contact with him. I know that one look into his eyes would fill me with the urge to join the mile high club. If we we're in a CIA plane, I'd probably risk it, but I won't let the notation: 'Caught having intercourse on a military transport while in flight' be the last entry in our records before the words DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED.

I shake my head to toss out the thought. I can't let my hormones run amuck before we've talked things over. I close my eyes and pretend to be soaking in a warm, relaxing bath. Yes, the visual is working to take my mind off of him.

The sound of the landing gear coming down startles me out of my sleep.

My brief nap hasn't helped my exhausted state and, when I open my eyes, I'm not sure where I am. I blink, trying to be sure that I'm seeing my surroundings clearly enough to assess where I am when I hear Harm's familiar voice.

"We're landing in Germany. Did the nap help?" he asks.

I make eye contact with him for the first time since we boarded. "Maybe some, but I'm still tired."

As Harm and I disembark, I see an unmistakable plain sedan and the outline of a man next to it that I'm sure is Clay, standing on the tarmac. As we get closer to the car, it's clear that it is Clay.

"Sarah, you look tired," Clay says.

"Exhausted would be a better word."

Clay places his hand on my arm and addresses me with genuine concern. "Let me make a call. I'll delay our flight to Washington so that I can get a doctor to give you a once over first."

I don't know if it's because he actually put his hand on me or if it's the look of loving concern in his eyes or simply my fatigue, but something hits a nerve, causing my civilized manners to snap.

"I don't need to see a doctor," I say, pulling my arm free from Webb's hand. "I don't want to see a doctor."

Webb comes to attention at my tone that's commanding and firm.

"If you've got a plane waiting for us, we're going to get on it as long as it's taking us closer to home. Have I made myself clear?" I ask heatedly.

"If you'll get in the car, Sarah, we'll be going to another runway where a Company plane is waiting to take the three of us to Washington for your debriefing."

"How long until the Company plane is scheduled for take-off?" I ask.

"Thirty minutes," he answers.

"Then give me your phone. I have a call to make," I say before holding out my hand to take possession of Clay's phone.

Clay's apprehensive as he turns his phone over to me. I climb in the car, phone in hand, and Harm follows me. Once inside the car, I start pushing buttons on Clay's cell phone and I look at Harm.

"It's 1800 here, so a nine hour time difference to the west coast means that it's 0900 in San Diego," I say to Harm, and I can tell by the twinkle in his eye that he knows who I'm calling.

One, two, three rings...I start to worry that no one's at home. My heart is beating fast as I hear the fourth ring and pass the phone to Harm. Not getting an answer has drained the energy that the rush of adrenaline from my exchange with Webb moments ago had given me. I feel Harm's hand cover mine. His fingers fold around my hand, and he gives it a gentle squeeze of understanding and comfort.

Just as quickly as my energy began to fade, it returns when I hear Harm say, "Hi, Mattie."

I hear only Harm's responses. "Yeah, she's with me." ... "Yes, we're fine." ... "I'm not sure, but it shouldn't be more than a couple of days." ... "Yeah, we'd like to talk to him."

Harm offers me the phone. I take it tentatively. "Mattie says that he's in the den. Give her a minute, and she'll get him on the phone."

I only nod to keep my voice from giving away the fact that I'm holding back tears. I put the phone to my ear. It's one minute and three seconds of painful silence before I'm rewarded with the young boy's voice that I miss so much on the other end of the line, halfway around the world. "Harm, is it really you?" Ty asks.

"He's here, but it's me, Sweetie," I inform him.

"Momma, I miss you. Are you coming home soon?"

"Yes, soon. We can use this phone for only a few minutes, but I wanted to call to tell you that I love you."

"I love you, too, Momma. I want you to know that it's fun being with Grandma and Grandpa, but I miss you and Dad."

It takes all the strength that I have not to start crying. "I know that Harm wants to say hello to you before our phone time is up, so I'm going to put him on now, okay?"

"Okay, see you soon, Momma."

"Very soon," I say back before handing the phone over to Harm.

I lean sideways towards Harm and place my head on his shoulder. A few tears drip onto his sleeve as I listen to him speak to our son.

Harm's voice is cheerful. "Hey, buddy." ... "She's a little tired, but she's fine." ... "You can tell Grandpa that, when I know exactly when our flight is coming into San Diego, I'll give him a call." ... "Yeah, I need to go." ... "I love you, too."

Harm ends the call, and then I feel him place a kiss on top of my head before he leans forward to address Clay in the front seat.

"Webb, thanks for the use of your phone," he says before dropping it over Clay's shoulder.

**IN FLIGHT TO DC**

**MAC'S POV**

Our contact in the car while we were talking to Ty was brief, but I felt that it was another sign that our way back to wedded bliss wasn't going to be the long trip that I'd been envisioning.

To test my theory, I'd taken the seat directly next to his on this plane. We've been in the air for two hours and ten minutes of a ten-hour flight, and I can't count the number of times that I've opened my mouth to say something to Harm, only to see Webb staring at us intently, leaving me to think that perhaps I should try to get some sleep now and talk to Harm later. This has left me in a cycle that threatens my sanity. I want to talk to Harm, but I can't talk to Harm because Clay seems to always be near. Since we don't have any privacy, I think that I should try to get some sleep, but I want to talk to Harm first.

I don't know why Clay isn't giving us any space. It isn't like I can leave without him knowing it since we're 35,000 feet in the air. I remember the tenderness with which Clay grabbed my arm in Germany, the loving concern in his eyes, his caring tone...is it the information that I have that he's worried about or could it be that he's still in love with me and just doesn't want to leave me alone with Harm?

It's two more hours into our flight, and the lack of sleep and frustration at not being able to have a private conversation with Harm has me on edge. How on edge isn't clear until I overhear Clay on the phone with Kershaw.

"I don't think that's the best way, sir." ... "She's just very tired. Perhaps it's best if I start, and then we let her get some sleep before you speak with her and we finish her debriefing." ... "We should be landing about 1930 your time."

I've heard enough. I get out of my seat and move over to where Clay is standing. I hold out my hand and motion for the phone. Clay looks stunned, but he complies.

"Director Kershaw, I presume," I almost purr into the phone, but that's only to distract from the fierce roar that I'm about to unleash. "Let me tell you what we're going to do. I'll give the information to Agent Webb after he's made a few arrangements for us. He can bring the information to you, if that's your heart's desire, but you won't see me until tomorrow after I've had a good night's sleep."

"You can't withhold the Intel to...I won't give into blackmail, Colonel," Kershaw screeches at me.

I'm not deterred by Kershaw's tone. "I'm not blackmailing you, Mr. Director. You had a mission that you needed to have completed and you wanted me to do the job. Consider the things that I want to be tools to finish the job. Now, here's what you need to authorize Agent Webb to do before I turn over the information."

After giving him my list of demands, maybe it was blackmail of a sort, but I don't care because I've got a mess to clean up, one of my own making, I turn the phone back over to Clay and return to my seat next to Harm.

When Clay moves to another area of the plane to get some privacy, I'm sure to keep me from intruding on his conversation again, I'm finally alone with Harm. I place my hand over his and look at him.

"I don't know how much time we have before he gets back, but I wanted to tell you that I know that we need to talk. I've been pushing you away and I'm sorry." I attempt to lighten the heaviness of the conversation that we need to have by giving him a shoulder shrug and saying, "What can I say? Old habits are hard to break."

"If it's hard for you to open up, I can understand that. I'm not very good at it either, but I've been working on it." He displays a crooked smile. He laces his fingers with mine. "As hard as it might be for you to believe, Mac, I love you, and no matter what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, you can tell me. I'm not going anywhere...no matter what."

After a few moments of silence, Harm speaks again. "I guess what bothers me the most, Mac, is that I don't know if it's that you don't want to talk or if you don't talk because you don't think that I can handle what you have to say."

"In this case, it's because I don't know if I want to know the answer. I don't know if I can handle the answer," I whisper.

"Answer to what question?" he asks.

"How long do I have?"

"How long do you have for what?"

"How long do I have before you leave if I don't get pregnant?" I ask, near tears.

"Is that what this is all about? Then we're done!"

His words echo in my head. 'We're done.' I feel light-headed as my worst fear comes true. I feel sick to my stomach, but, suddenly, his arms are around me.

"I told you that you could stop at any time. Why didn't you just say that you wanted to stop?"

I'm confused by the mixed messages. "I didn't want to lose you."

He pulls back and looks me in the eye. I know that he can see the tears that are threatening to fall. "I can't believe that you've been feeling like this and you didn't say anything. Where did you get the idea that I'd leave you because of something over which you have no control?"

"I've probably been insecure about it all along and hiding it even from myself, but, at our last appointment, I couldn't deny it any longer. I had my evidence. You asked about donor eggs and surrogates as if I weren't even in the room. A baby is so important to you that I..." I have to stop speaking or I'm going to be a crying mess. Crying in front of Harm is one thing, but I don't want anyone else to see me cry.

His arms tighten around me and, seconds later, one of his hands is traveling up and down my back in a soothing motion. His voice is low and his tone is sincere when he speaks.

"I guess that's an old habit I have. I assume that we're on the same page when it isn't true. In the doctor's office, I thought that I was being supportive by trying to bring out the fact that we still had other options, but you took it to mean that I wanted a baby no matter what. I'm sorry about that." He places a kiss into my hair.

"Since you pointed out the flaw in our communication, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he answers eagerly, wanting to prove his point that I can talk to him about anything.

"When you said 'we're done,' what exactly did you mean?"

He pushes away from me, and I see panic in his eyes when he realizes the way that I'd perceived his words. "I didn't mean you and me. I meant trying to have a baby. I don't want a baby at the cost of losing you or making you feel as if you're anything less than the most important person in the world to me. I wouldn't have the family that I do now without you." He places a soft kiss on my lips.

After his lips pull away, I remind him, "It wasn't me. It was Mattie who opened you up to love and family, not me."

"I can see how it might look that way to you, but you're so wrong, Mrs. Rabb. It was when I was finally able to admit to myself that I was in love with you that started it all. It was a process that I had to go through. After admitting it, I went through some dark times of being without you and then I met Mattie. She put a little light back into my life, but I wouldn't have been able to love her if I hadn't already acknowledged that I was in love with you first. You opened my heart. Mattie only made me realize that it's important to tell someone how you feel."

I kiss him softly but pull back when something else from the past occurs to me. "Was it another time that we weren't on the same page when you asked to be part of my life instead of looking in on it?"

"Yes, and when I asked you to talk to me...when I said that it doesn't matter what I want if you were in love with Webb and probably about a half a dozen other times when I was making an attempt to let my intentions be known without pushing you, and you didn't see it that way, but none of that matters now that we've got it right."

"You know, I can understand how you thought that I was leaving you, but I wasn't. I love you more than anything else in this world."

"Together forever, then?" he asks hopefully.

"Yes, together forever," I reply with conviction.

Our lips come together. We've forgotten where we are as our first kiss turns into a second and a third.

They're unaware that, around kiss four or five, they'd gained a witness to their display of affection. Clayton Webb jealously watched them for a few moments. 'What can Harm give her that I can't? Why Harm and not me?' Finally, in disgust, he cleared his throat to get their attention and watched them part. "Sarah, the arrangements are made. Can we talk now?"

I nod and start to rise from my seat to join Clay. My hand is in Harm's, and I know that he doesn't want to let go of it, or perhaps it's wishful thinking because I don't want him to let go of it, so I stop.

"I'll be back," I say to Harm. "We can talk more later. One of the arrangements that Clay was supposed to make is to have a car available for us to go to your old apartment tonight so that we can get some sleep before he and I meet with Kershaw in the morning."

"I'll be waiting," he says wistfully.

"For how long?" I ask.

He gives me that certain smile, the one that melts me. "As long as it takes," he answers and kisses my hand before releasing it.

I take several steps towards Clay, but I stop and turn to give Harm a flirtatious wink before I go with Clay to begin my debriefing.

When Mac returned to her seat before landing, Clayton Webb learned a valuable lesson about Sarah MacKenzie and Harmon Rabb, Jr. As he watched Harm help Mac with her seat belt, preparing for landing, he noticed the way they looked together.

Not the fact that they're a red carpet worthy, attractive couple, but the way their eyes sparkled just by being in the same room with each other.

That's when his relationship with Sarah became clear to him. He'd been an interloper in a relationship that had been destined to be. He'd never stood a chance at winning Sarah's heart. It had already belonged to Harm.

Clay continued to observe them as the plane descended. Her smile wasn't plastered on her face, but clearly showing in her eyes. That's what Harm gave her that he couldn't...that kind of happiness.

With that lesson learned, Clayton Webb pulled a picture from his jacket pocket and stared at it. Perhaps this was the person who could give him that kind of happiness. He'd have to call her when they were on the ground to see if he could see her this evening.

**MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2006 **

**IN ROUTE TO THE BURNETT HOME**

**MAC'S POV**

Harm had called Frank from Dulles airport to tell him that we'd be arriving at 1615 their time, and Frank had met us at the airport.

I was disappointed when Frank came alone. I'm sure that I would've made a scene, hugging and kissing Ty in public, but I'm anxious to see him.

Last night, Harm and I talked more after we arrived at the apartment. We also made love for the first time in what seemed like a very long time.

Harm told me about the papers that had arrived, asking us what we wanted Ty's adopted name to be. I laughed when Harm told me that Tyler was pretty clear on wanting to keep the name Tyler, but he was mulling over the last name choice while we were gone.

Another talk we had last night was an emotional one about our attempts to have a baby. Among the points made were: I'm exhausted from my trip; I'm emotionally tapped from prior tries; a break may allow by body to reset itself, resulting in good egg production for our next attempt; perhaps we should've waited until we were married longer, and maybe we should wait until Ty's adoption is final.

As a result of our discussion, we've agreed to take at least the month of September off from trying to have a baby. With our anniversary this month, Harm suggested that it was the perfect month to take off, saying that he'd hate to be celebrating our marriage and not be able to relive a few moments of our honeymoon.

My heart is racing as the Burnett home comes into view.

**BURNETT HOME**

**DINNERTIME**

Frank walks in first. "Trish, I've brought guests for dinner," he calls out.

"Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes," Trish responds before a little blonde haired boy comes out of the kitchen.

"Grandpa, I missed you." Ty stops cold like he can't believe his eyes, and then he starts to run towards us. "Momma," he gets out before getting close enough for me to scoop him into my arms.

With Ty's arms wrapped tightly around my neck, he calls to Mattie, "Mattie, Dad and Mom are back!"


	105. Chapter 105

**EPILOGUE **

**TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**MAC IS WRITING IN HER JOURNAL **

September 12, 2006

Things went smoothly yesterday, so I think that I've finally gotten the office back in order after my absence.

At home, I don't think that anything could be better. The strength of our love and family is obvious to me now, and I wonder why I hadn't been able to see it before.

September 4th was the first day of the new school year. Mattie's a senior now. Paul is attending San Diego State University, so it's a big adjustment in their relationship and only time will tell if it will last.

Last Tuesday after I dropped Ty off at school, I stopped at the post office to overnight the forms to the Virginia court with the name that Tyler had chosen. We received a follow-up letter in the mail yesterday. The court acknowledged receipt of the paperwork and it stated that, with the overwhelming support that we have for the adoption to take place, another court appearance won't be necessary. The final adoption papers should be arriving any day. Since Ty couldn't decide between MacKenzie and Rabb, he came up with an idea. Though, from speaking with him, I think that Mattie had a little something to do with it. He decided that he wanted to change his middle name, too, so the adoption papers will declare that Tyler Lawrence Patterson will now be known as Tyler MacKenzie Rabb, our son.

Harm and I have never been happier. I've learned that you don't have to work at being happy with someone, but sometimes you have to work on yourself to be happy with you.

Harm and I made a pact in his apartment in DC. I'll start talking and, if I hear something that I take negatively, I'll ask questions to be sure that I'm clear about what he's saying. For his part, he'll try to communicate in ways that don't make me have to ask questions. We haven't been back long enough for us to really put it to the test, but I have nothing but positive feelings about our future together.

Our first wedding anniversary is this coming weekend, and Harm has informed me that he's spiriting me away. I don't know what he has planned, but he seems very excited about it.

I knew that I had all the components: a great career, a good man and comfortable shoes...lots of them, things that I'd once told Harm that I needed for a good life, but in worrying about losing it, I'd missed the best part of my life - we're happy, the kind of happy that you don't have to find time for, you just are.

I'm sure that a baby would enrich our lives, but one isn't necessary for us to have a happy life together.

The internal conflict of emotions that I've been experiencing these last few months has finally been resolved.


	106. Chapter 106

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN - RETURN TO RED ROCK MESA**

**PART ONE**

Harm had decided on Red Rock Mesa for a first anniversary destination during the week that he was waiting on Mac's return from her CIA mission before he joined the search party.

His choice had been inspired by what she'd conquered there in the past. If that was her center of strength, her Mecca, then taking her there would give her the strength to overcome her doubts and restore her faith in them, he'd reasoned.

Mac's Uncle Matt knew the area, and if that wasn't reason enough, he'd been a free man for the past seven months and had taken a job flying tourists over the Grand Canyon by helicopter, so it was only natural that his name had come to Harm's mind to help with plans to spirit Mac away for some quiet couple time.

Harm had asked for Matt's help, but hadn't let on about the problem that had led him to ask for it. Harm had merely said that Red Rock Mesa was a special place for them.

Uncle Matt had agreed. "I'm sure it is. I saw that gleam in Sarah's eyes when she looked at you. I knew then that she'd found her one and only," he'd snorted. "Of course, I didn't know that it was going to take you so long to figure out that she was yours," he'd laughed. "But that's all water under the bridge now. You finally got it all together."

Going on the trip had seemed like a good idea at the time that he'd started planning it, but a few days after their return from the Middle East, it no longer seemed like the right place to go for their anniversary.

Aside from the fact that Mac had opened up to him about her feelings and they'd talked about it, there was the fact that they would've been home for just shy of two weeks by the time of their anniversary, and it seemed too soon to leave Ty overnight with his grandparents again. So a revision in Harm's plan was in order, but where? Before he could think about choosing a new location, he needed to cancel the plans that were being made by his accomplice.

Harm had placed a call to Matt O'Hara to explain that perhaps he'd made a decision in haste and that it wasn't the best choice for an anniversary retreat after all, but Mac's Uncle Matt would have no part in undoing what he'd been painstakingly putting together.

Uncle Matt wasn't a man whom Harm wanted to upset or be angry with him for many reasons, so they'd reached a compromise during the call. The trip would take place, but it wouldn't be a couple's retreat.

**WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2006 **

**UTC SHOPPING MALL **

**LUNCHTIME**

Harm found himself at the mall during his lunch hour. He was a little hungry, but he had a few things on his list to get done that ranked above food.

His first stop was the jewelry store to get Mac's wedding and engagement rings cleaned. He wanted the sparkle of the gems to be showroom new when he slipped them back on her finger tonight.

Once he'd turned the rings over to the salesclerk at the jewelry store, his mind went over his plan. The plan had been forming since only last night, so it was subject to last minute changes.

Last night, Harm had needed to take the SUV to meet Paul for an evening bike ride. After asking Mac for the car keys, he'd been instructed that the keys were on top of her dresser. The clump of car, house and office keys was easy to spot, but when he reached for them, he spotted Mac's rings still sitting on top of the dresser.

The sight of her rings there made him glad that he hadn't changed the destination of their trip. Perhaps the need for reestablishing a little faith was still needed. Though, since their talk and return, they'd seemed closer and happier than before, she hadn't returned her rings to their rightful place on her hand.

While he'd been out riding, he'd come up with an idea, well, several different ideas, but, by the end of the ride, he'd eliminated most of them. The one that had taken the longest for him to discard was slipping her rings back on her finger on the 17th, the day a year ago that he'd originally given the wedding band to her.

In the end, he'd decided that it might be a romantic notion, but because he didn't know why she hadn't put them back on upon her return, it might not be the best way to go. Besides, he'd already purchased an anniversary gift for her, from this same jewelry store, in fact. No, he decided that he wanted her rings back on her finger ASAP. If she hadn't put them back on because she was still harboring doubts, even if it were on some subconscious level, he wanted to know that before they left on their trip.

Upon his return from the bike ride, Harm had placed the wad of keys back on her dresser, but had scooped up the rings.

The stop at the jewelry store didn't take long, and Harm was thankful. He'd have time to get a couple of things before heading back to the office. By taking care of this part of his plan for tonight during lunch, he had only one stop to make on the way home - the bakery. He was hoping that the bakery that Mac liked so well had something decadent in chocolate for this evening.

**SUV EN ROUTE HOME FROM WORK **

Mac had discovered that her rings were missing when she'd reached for her keys this morning. Harm had used the SUV and her keys last night. She was sure that he'd taken the rings, but why?

Mac's first reaction was to call Harm and ask where the hell he'd put them, but he hadn't had time to get to his office yet. By the time she'd arrived at her office, she'd had a meeting and hadn't had time. After the meeting, she'd thought about calling, but had decided against it. Instead, she'd felt that she should ask herself why she hadn't put them on the moment that they'd returned home.

She'd seen her rings on the dresser every evening when she'd put down her keys and every morning before she'd left for work for more than the week that they'd been back. Why hadn't she put them on that first night home...or the next morning?

Mac couldn't believe the answer that she'd come up with after thinking about it. She wanted Harm to put them on her finger.

All day, she'd been daydreaming about the romantic setting that they'd be in when he'd slip her rings back on her finger. She supposed that, after analyzing the situation to death today, she wanted him to place them back in their rightful place as a gesture, a confirmation that he'd forgiven her for having doubted his love in the first place and that he still wanted to be with her.

Mac knew that it was silly, but that's what she wanted to happen. She couldn't be sure if it was really the gesture of forgiveness that she was seeking or the romantic setting that she craved more. Harm had been such a romantic after they'd become a couple, but that side of him seemed to be gone now that they lived together.

Mac then thought that it must be perfectly natural for romance to fade between two people who were living with children.

As she made a lane change in preparation to make her exit from the freeway, her chest deflated as the reality gripped her that it was hard for romance to be in your life when you're focusing on having a baby, at least the way they had to go about it, but that didn't mean that she didn't miss it.

As Mac made her turn at the end of the off ramp, taking her in the direction of home, a moment of doubt crept in from the dark place where she kept her fears locked away. For a moment, her world seemed meaningless as she allowed her fear to slip into her conscious thought. 'What if he doesn't want you to wear them anymore?'

The thought panicked her, but she was able to quickly reel in the emotion. Her rational thought taking control, she said out loud in the car, "He wouldn't have come to Iran for you. He's taking you away for our anniversary. He wouldn't do that if he had no intention of not being your husband any more."

Mac's breathing returned to normal as she pulled into the Burnett driveway to pick up Ty. Maybe she wasn't completely over her doubts yet, but she was working on it.

As Mac got out of the car, she scolded herself. "You should've called him earlier today. This evening, you'll find time to ask him about your rings, something that you should've made time to do earlier instead of worrying all day about why he took them and if he was planning to give them back to you."

**HOME OFFICE/DEN**

**RABB HOME**

Harm had left Ty's bedroom as usual after he'd finished reading the first story. There were 365 stories in the book that Mac had bought, but, at the rate of two stories a night, that cut a year's worth down to six months, which gave them about four more weeks worth. Harm wondered if Ty would still want to be read a story when they'd finished the book. After all, Ty had started the third grade this month. He'd be eight in March.

Thinking about their growing children wasn't a good idea. He needed to focus on preparing for Mac to come in. Besides, he couldn't think about Ty getting older without eventually moving to Mattie, and she was becoming more of a stereotypical, moody teenager by the minute, it seemed.

Mattie's work at the gallery and Paul seemed to be the only things that were important to her these days. She was changing, evolving yet again. Harm didn't remember his personality taking so many twists and turns as he grew up, but he probably wasn't the best one to notice. He'd ask his mother about his behavior, but that would give her an opening to tell 'when Harm was younger stories' and that was something that he didn't want his family to hear. After all, he had a reputation to maintain.

Harm shook the thoughts of the children from his mind. He loved them, but tonight was about the other love in his life, his wife.

It didn't ever really get cold enough for a fire in Southern California, but Harm wanted one, so he started a small one in the fireplace anyway. He'd crank up the air conditioner to offset the heat if he had to, but, damn it, he wanted the ambiance of a fire for the night that he had planned.

Harm spread a blanket on the floor near the fireplace and lit candles around the room. Next on his list was to go to the kitchen and retrieve the chocolate dessert that he'd bought.

Harm returned to the den with the mini cake and placed it on the end table farthest from the fire. He looked around the room. He had a few more things to do. He'd have done them before he went for the dessert, but he didn't want Mac to come in without him being here.

Harm sprinkled scented silk rose petals that he'd bought during lunch at the mall today around the edges of the blanket and just a few in a trail to the door.

Harm looked around the room. He thought that it looked and smelled good. He hoped that Mac would see it as the romantic setting that he was going for and like it, or at least give him points for trying.

Next, he moved to the desk and opened the top right drawer. He reached in and he didn't feel it. He looked down. He didn't see it. The box with her rings in it was gone. Only because he had the nerves of a fighter pilot was he able to keep from panicking. After a couple of deep breaths, he remembered that he'd taken the box out when he'd first come in so that he'd have it on him if Mac came in before everything was ready.

He reached into the pocket of his dark gray slacks and pulled out the blue velvet box. He opened it and admired the set of rings as he looked at them. He took a moment to praise himself for the good job that he'd done with picking out each ring.

He might have taken longer to pat himself on the back, but the sound of someone walking in the hall outside the door brought his musings to an end. He snapped the box closed and took two strides to the wall to dim the lights.

It must have been a false alarm because the door didn't open. He slipped the box back into his pocket and took a peek out the door. No one was there. He knew that he hadn't imagined the sound of shoes on the tile floor in the hall.

After closing the door, he turned to see the candlelit room and was glad for the false alarm. He didn't like the position of that candle or that one.

He moved the candles into better positions and was admiring how the difference in their locations made the room more romantic. He shook his head. Look what love had done to him! He wasn't complaining, just making an observation.

He pulled the ring box from his pocket, trying to decide the best place to keep it. He wanted the box handy, but a bulge in the wrong area of his pants would raise Mac's suspicions. This was certainly bringing back pleasant memories for him. He'd had this same problem when he'd been preparing to give the engagement ring to her the first time.

He moved over to the black leather couch. Mac had declared that the couch from his apartment was masculine and belonged in his den. The square decorative pillows that adorned his once 'masculine couch' softened it to fit the room and make her feel more comfortable since they shared his den to work in, she'd said.

He picked up one of the square, decorative pillows and dropped it at one end of the blanket. Yeah, that should do the trick. He dropped the other three pillows down on the floor, too. That would do it. He bent down and placed the box under a pillow. He stood up and moved to the door, wanting to take in the look of the room once more.

He was standing close to the door, admiring his handy work when he heard movement on the other side of the door. He turned towards the door just in time to see the doorknob turn. It was show time.

**AT THE SAME TIME...**

When Mac had picked up Ty, she'd made a decision not to cut into any of Ty's quality time to talk with Harm. She'd wait until after Ty was asleep.

Mac didn't know if Harm was really acting strange this evening or if her perception of his actions were skewed by her own state. She wanted to know about her rings, and it was driving her past the point of distraction.

After she'd read the second story to Ty and had him all tucked into bed, she went by the den to speak with Harm. She stopped and waited a moment, trying to decide what she'd say. She didn't want to just waltz in and say, "Where the hell are my rings? They're mine, so give them back." Mac decided to go get ready for bed, giving her time to think of a more tactful approach.

Mac debated about what to wear. She didn't want to go in there dressed like she was trying to seduce him, but she wanted to look attractive and inviting. She sifted through her drawer and didn't see anything that she thought fit what she thought was the 'right look'.

She went to the closet and saw what she had in mind. Not stopping to think when she'd bought it, she slipped into it. It was the ivory colored satin nightgown that she'd worn on their wedding night.

An urge to make herself look perfect for him nudged her to touch up her makeup and fuss with her hair a bit before slipping into the matching robe. She wrapped the robe around her and tied it tightly in place so that it wouldn't come open easily. She didn't want her movements to cause it to open prematurely when she made her way back to Ty's room to make sure that he was asleep.

After a quick check in the full length mirror in the master closet, she pronounced herself looking good and ready to speak with Harm.

When Harm had left Ty's room, he'd said that he had some work to do, so after checking on Ty and finding him fast asleep, Mac's next destination was the home office/den combination that they'd created for themselves in the new house.

Mac approached the door, but stopped abruptly in the hall outside the closed door. The light that had been visible from under the door a few minutes ago was gone. The room appeared to be dark. Harm wasn't in the bedroom when she was there. Had she missed him when she'd gone to check on Ty? There was only one sure way to find out. She reached for the doorknob and started to turn it.

She opened the door and saw him standing there in dark slacks and a dark pullover sweater that clung to him, outlining the muscular build that lay beneath.

She couldn't think, so speaking was certainly out of the question. She just stared at him. He looked so good. How was she going to ask him anything?

Harm was at the door in a flash to greet her, but the sight of her in clingy silk and looking like she was ready to walk the runway at a fashion show versus an evening with him took him by surprise.

Because he blocked her view of the room, Mac couldn't see the work that he'd been doing, so, when she found her voice, she asked, "How can you get any work done in the dark?"

Harm reached for Mac's hand. Still admiring his beautiful wife, he managed to reply, "I didn't say that I had to work on a case. I just said that I had work to do, and I think I've gotten it all done." He stepped aside, allowing her to see the room for the first time.

She took a step inside. Not releasing her hand, Harm took a step forward to close the door. With the door closed, he turned and wrapped his free arm around her waist. "I've been waiting for you to join me."

Mac noticed the candles first, the flickering flames giving the room a soft glow. She heard a crackle, and that drew her attention to the fireplace, the burning logs giving off a glow that mirrored the candles.

She turned her head and tilted it up to look at her husband. "You did this for me?"

"Yes."

Mac could only nod and, with a gentle urging from him, she began to walk forward, stopping for a moment when she noticed the rose petals on the floor, marking the path.

They made their way to the blanket, Mac in awe at what he'd done.

Mac sat down on the blanket and was watching the fire in the fireplace, waiting for him to join her, so she didn't see him getting the desert off the end table, and his voice startled her.

"I picked up some dessert for you and me on the way home tonight."

Mac turned towards his voice and saw him standing at the blanket's edge, offering her a plate. She took the plate and glanced at the round chocolate confection of some kind with two forks, one along each side of the cake.

"They called it Chocolate Dream Cake. It looked like plain ol' chocolate cake to me, but the lady assured me that it was the best chocolate cake ever."

Mac took the offered plate and tried to cover the giddy feeling that she was having because of the effort that he'd made to make her feel special.

"I'm an expert in the area of chocolate cake tasting, so I'll be the judge of that."

Mac picked up one of the forks and made a careful piercing into the mini chocolate cake.

Harm was paying more attention to Mac than to what he was doing and made a not-so-graceful decent down onto the blanket, which made Mac laugh. Harm smiled at her.

"I can't help it that you make eating cake look so sexy that I can't take my eyes off of you."

The glow of the candlelight allowed her enough cover that he couldn't see the blush on her cheeks.

Harm moved to a more comfortable position as Mac put her fork, now full of cake, into her mouth. He watched the fork as she pulled it back out of her mouth just before closing her eyes. She kept her eyes closed while she slowly chewed the cake. After a few moments, she opened her eyes.

"I wouldn't say that it's the best ever, but it is light, moist and chocolaty, so it's very good."

"Chocolaty, is that even a word?"

She looked at him with a mischievous gleam in her eye. "If it isn't, it should be," she declared in all seriousness.

Harm was sitting closer to her and was pleased when she moved the next fork full of cake in his direction, offering it to him. He opened his mouth and accepted the bite of cake.

Mac took another fork full and placed it into her mouth.

After Harm had swallowed his bite of cake, he looked at Mac and said teasingly, "I'd have to agree with you about the cake: light, moist and chocolaty."

Mac knew that he was teasing her, and she shoved another bite of cake into his mouth and took another bite for herself.

Once the cake was gone, Harm took the empty plate and used his long arm to place it on the end table closer to them than the one at the other end of the couch that he'd put it on so that the fire wouldn't melt the chocolate.

After the plate was out of their way, Harm leaned back against the front of the couch, using a square pillow to support his lower back. It took no instructions or encouragement on his part for Mac to assume a position at his side, her shoulder tucked under his, her head resting on his chest and her hand on his muscular abdomen.

They sat nestled together like that for a few minutes in silence.

"You went to a lot of trouble to feed me chocolate cake." She said it like it was more of a question of why he'd gone to so much trouble to serve her dessert.

"I didn't do all this to serve you dessert. I read somewhere that couples shouldn't talk about their relationship in bed." At those words, Mac lifted her head and looked into Harm's eyes. "I was trying to set a mood in here so that we could talk," he added.

Their faces were close, and Mac could see into his eyes.

The same smoldering, sexy eyes that had made her weak in the knees when she'd first entered the den tonight were looking at her. He wouldn't have gone to such trouble if the news were bad, she reasoned.

She had to take a breath. "I thought you were in here working on a case. I came in here to talk to you and I think that we want to talk about the same thing."

He moved just a fraction closer, but it was close enough that, as his words left his mouth, she could feel the tiny puffs of air that escaped with each one. "I hope that, if we want to talk about the same thing, we want the same result." His voice was low and seductive.

His lips touched hers, but before she could react, he pulled away. "I love you," he whispered.

"And I love you," she whispered back.

"So far so good then. Do you want to go first?" he asked.

"You went to all the trouble of creating this atmosphere, so I think that you should go first."

"I'm not sure that I'm ready. I guess I put too much time in on the room and not enough time into what I was going to say."

"Maybe I can help. I know that what you want to say is about my rings. I noticed that they were missing this morning."

"That does make it easier."

Harm reached behind him and pulled the box out from under the edge of the pillow that he was leaning against. He brought the box up in front of Mac and flipped it open with his thumb. "I saw these on the dresser last night when I got your keys. While I was riding my bike last night, I had a thought that maybe you didn't want to wear them anymore. Well, that had me worried, but after a little more thought, I came up with another reason. I thought that, since I'd given them to you, perhaps you thought that I should be the one to put them back where they belong. So I came up with the idea of this private little getaway for us tonight so that I could put them back on your finger. I want you to wear your rings to remind you that, no matter what else is going on, we have each other, and if there's a problem, we're in neutral territory to work out whatever the problem is, because I want you to be my wife."

The darkness of the room hadn't allowed him to see the tears of relief and happiness forming in her eyes, but when the first one rolled down her cheek as he finished speaking, he didn't miss it, but she reached up and swiped at it before he could free his hand of the ring box to wipe away her tear.

"What I wanted to talk to you about tonight was where you'd put them and when or if I was getting them back."

Harm removed his arm from around Mac's shoulders. He then took the rings from the box and put the box down next to the blanket. "I had them cleaned this afternoon so they'd be ready to wear if you were ready to wear them." Mac presented her left hand, and he slid the rings on her finger.

As soon as her rings were in place, her arms went around Harm's neck and her lips crashed onto his in a kiss that was full of purpose and need. After a thorough kiss that left them both a little breathless, Mac pulled back.

"Wherever you read that you weren't supposed to have relationship talks in bed, did it say anything about not making love in a romantic setting after you'd talked about your relationship?" Mac asked.

"I don't recall any such rule or advice of that kind, but it is a little warm in here."

"It won't be so warm when we're out of our clothes," she said.

A strange look came over his face, but it took only a moment for Mac to understand the question that she was seeing in his eyes. "You weren't in the bedroom, so I'll tell you that last night was the last time that I'll need to change in the bathroom until next month."

All uncertainty left his face as he reached for one end of the tie on her robe. He couldn't think of a better way to end the evening than making love to his wife with the crackling fire in the background and the soft candlelight giving her skin a shimmering glow.


	107. Chapter 107

**PART TWO **

**FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2006**

Harm had started a list on Monday and had added to it all week, trying to make sure that today went smoothly. They were going away for only the weekend, but he wanted everything to go perfectly.

Harm was relieved when he was able to get away from the office as scheduled after the rest of his staff had gone to lunch, allowing him enough time to carry out his plan.

Harm thought that keeping the location of their weekend family getaway a secret would remind Mac of the way that he'd kept their honeymoon destination under wraps until the last minute and, even though he'd been tempted to disclose the location in hopes that it would entice Mattie into joining them, he'd been able to keep it to himself. However, not knowing if Mattie would be able to navigate the terrain since her accident and the fact that she wanted to stay home since, as she would point out, she was growing up, she was staying behind with her grandparents, but Harm had on his list to remind her of the house rules, and he'd been able to get that item checked off his list last night.

As Harm pulled his 'Vette into the driveway, the three car garage again reminded him of Mattie. It wasn't here now because Mattie was at school, but Frank's sedan was a constant resident now that there was room for a third car. Frank hadn't given her the car, but she always seemed to have it. Harm suspected that, for her eighteenth birthday or perhaps her high school graduation, Frank would give it to her. Harm wasn't sure how he felt about that yet. Part of him thought that she should have to earn it, part of him wanted her to have a reliable car to get around in and part of him thought that it was his job to spoil her, not Frank's.

Harm carefully parked his car inside the garage before heading into the house to get started on his list of things to do.

Mac had arranged to get off work earlier than usual. She was going to pick up Ty after school on her way home, so it was Harm's job to have their bags ready and the house secure when they arrived so that they could leave as soon as Mac changed.

Harm had taken out the trash and checked all the doors and windows to make sure that the house would be secure once they'd locked the front door on their way out. Now he was getting everyone's bags together and placing them by the front door.

The after-dinner activity for the family last night had been packing for this trip. As Harm dropped Ty's bag by the door on his way to the master bedroom to get their bags, he remembered part of last night.

********FLASHBACK********

LAST NIGHT

MASTER BEDROOM

AFTER DINNER

Mac's face twisted into a cute, questioning expression when Harm told her to pack for cool days and cold evenings, and not to forget something to sleep in.

She teased him. "I don't remember needing anything to sleep in a year ago. If you want me to take something because of the cold..." She gave him a sheepish and very sexy grin. "...I'm sure that you could find a way to keep me warm."

Harm moved to her and took her in his arms. If she were simply teasing him, that was fine. If she were trying to uncover clues about their destination, that was also fine, but if she had any doubt that he wanted her, that was something that he couldn't let go unanswered.

With recent events still fresh in his mind, as well as his promise to her and himself not to let there be any more misunderstandings between them in their relationship, he needed to be sure that she knew that he wanted her.

Once she was in his arms, he pulled her to him. "I'm not going to tell you why you need to take something warm to sleep in because you might be able to figure out where we're going, but if you're worried that it's because I don't want to see you naked or that I don't want to have my way with you, you'd be very, very wrong," he said before his lips gently covered hers.

The warmth of her body against his and the thought of how she looked naked had him holding her a little tighter. The parting of her lips and her tongue sliding out and teasing his lower lip spurred his desire. His mouth opened at her tongue's request, and the kiss that he'd intended to be a gentle reminder to her that he loved her became so much more. His hand drifted down her side and came back up under the fabric of her top.

His splayed hand on her back heated her skin and gave her body that tingle that only he had ever created in her. With him, she was clay waiting to be molded by his gifted hands. With him, she was every cliché of a woman in love.

The intensity of their kiss made her go weak in the knees, and then the feeling that she was floating on clouds, and then -

"Momma, I want you to check to see if I've picked out the right clothes."

And just like that, their moment was over. Harm rapidly withdrew his hand out from under Mac's shirt as he whispered in her ear, "Another couple of seconds, and he would've received his first lesson about the birds and the bees."

Mac swatted Harm's arm as she pulled away, smiling. "I thought you learned your lesson about closing the door behind you more than a year ago," she whispered before walking towards Ty, giggling as she went.

"Hey, I thought that I was just coming in here to pack," he retorted to Mac's back as she left their room for Ty's to inspect the clothing that he'd chosen.

********END FLASHBACK********

Harm was standing beside their bags at the door when Ty and Mac came in.

Mac saw the bags and said, "Let me lose the uniform, and I'll be ready to go." As she moved towards the hall leading to their room, she called over her shoulder. "Ty needs to take his backpack. He has homework due Monday."

Ty looked up at Harm like someone had just let all the air out of his balloon.

Harm replied sympathetically, but without letting him get out of doing his homework. "We'll see about getting your homework done on the plane on our way there. If you don't have time to get it finished, Buddy, we'll get it done sometime this weekend without spoiling our fun."

Ty wasn't convinced yet. "You promise?"

"I promise."

Ty was all smiles after getting Harm's word that he wouldn't miss out on any of the fun.

"Now, if you'll help me, we can get the car loaded and be ready to go by the time Mac finishes changing."

**AT THE SAME TIME**

Mac entered the bedroom and moved to put her briefcase down next to the dresser. She placed her keys on the dresser and sighed, remembering that only two days ago, her rings had been sitting in the very spot where she'd just put down her keys.

Mac extended her hand and admired the sparkling gems that were back in their proper place. The corners of her mouth turned up at the memory of Harm planning a little 'at home getaway' so that he'd have a romantic setting in which to slip them back on her finger. She loved him a little more every day.

Her thoughts had kept her internal timer from being heard, so she wasn't aware of how much time had passed until she heard Harm calling from downstairs, "Mac, are you ready yet?" pulling her from her thoughts, and she immediately heard the little voice tell her how long that she'd been just standing there.

"I'll be ready in less than five," she called back as she moved quickly to get into her jeans, blouse and a jacket that she'd picked out last night.

Four minutes and nineteen seconds later, she was slipping on her shoes and was ready to go.

**LATER**

**ON THE WAY TO RED ROCK, ARIZONA**

They boarded a small jet plane in San Diego, which was bound for Flagstaff, Arizona. The plane had only two seats per side, and Ty wanted to sit next to Harm.

Harm didn't like the idea of not sitting with Mac, but Ty should sit next to one of them so that he wouldn't be the one sitting alone.

Ty got his homework out as soon as the tray tables were allowed to be down. The flight was roughly an hour long, so Harm was sure that Ty was going to be able to finish his math homework in that time.

As Harm watched over his son's shoulder to be sure that he wasn't having trouble with his homework, he had another moment of doubt about their destination.

What if Mac saw him and Ty as an intrusion on her spot? 'Damn, why is it that everything that I think is a good idea has the potential of being disastrous as well?' he thought to himself. He hoped that this was going to be what he'd dreamed that it would be and not the mistake that he'd just envisioned.

They had to change to an even smaller plane in Flagstaff that Harm had chartered. He'd entertained the idea of renting a plane and flying them himself, but his track record with Mac aboard planes wasn't too hot, so he'd opted for the charter instead.

Once they were aboard the Cessna, the pilot told them that the weather was clear and that they'd be arriving on schedule in Chinle.

Mac knew the area well enough to know that Chinle was the closet airport to Red Rock, and she questioned Harm in a way that let him know that she knew where they were headed.

"Are you taking us to scout for dinosaur tracks?" she asked.

Ty's eyes got as big as saucers at the word dinosaur. "Are we, Dad? Is that what we're going to do...look for dinosaurs?"

Harm decided that it was time to find out if Mac was okay with the idea. The pilot could be a witness to the crime if Mac killed him. "I don't know if Red Rock has any dinosaur trails left to scout since people have made a town there, but Mac once took me to a place close to the little town and showed me some tracks. I can get us a ride up there if it's okay with her if we go."

Mac smiled. "If Harm has a ride for us, I'd be delighted to take my two best guys there."

If Mac hadn't had her eyes on him, Harm would've wiped his brow in relief that she was okay with them going up on the mesa.

They arrived in Chinle as scheduled, and Mac was happily surprised when she was greeted by her Uncle Matt. The smile on her face told Harm that she was absolutely delighted with this unexpected detail of their trip.

After quickly hugging Sarah and shaking Harm's hand, Uncle Matt was introduced to his great nephew.

Once introductions had been made, Uncle Matt said that they'd better hurry so that they could catch a late dinner before the local diner closed.

At the diner, they looked over the menu. Of course, no diner is particularly vegetarian-friendly, and one in a small town is certainly not the place to expect an exception. Harm went with what he felt was the best of the worst, going with the grilled chicken and a salad.

"Dad, I'm glad that we have to be back on Monday or you'd starve here," Ty said with a serious expression.

Ty had made his statement with such concern that Harm nearly chuckled. Ty was truly considering Harm's ability to survive if they stayed longer.

It wasn't Ty's comment that had Harm concerned. No, it was the mischievous smile and twinkle in Mac's eye across the table from him that had him bracing himself for an onslaught of teasing, but it didn't come. Harm wasn't sure if it was the presence of her uncle that kept her from opening fire or that she wanted to tease him about it later, but she didn't say anything and, once their drinks were on the table, Harm knew that he was safe, at least for now.

With dinner in their bellies, they got into Uncle Matt's car and started the drive to Red Rock. During the approximately one hour drive, Uncle Matt explained that he'd checked into the only motel in the area and that they'd spend the night there. A friend of his would be there thirty minutes after daybreak to take them to the summit, and they could look for a place to set up camp for spending the night in one of the caves before searching for dinosaur tracks.

It was need-to-be-prepared-Marine-Mac who asked about supplies for spending the night at the higher altitude. It was been-a-Marine-longer I'm-prepared-Uncle Matt who replied that all the supplies that they'd need were in his quarters, waiting for their ride.

Between working this morning and the hectic pace of getting here, everyone was tired and ready to get some sleep.

Ty seemed a little on edge about staying at the motel, but it was obvious what was on his mind when the three of them got into their room. His first comment was, "There are two beds in here. Can I sleep in one of them?"

Without Mattie with them, Ty was afraid that he'd have to stay in a room alone, but that wasn't the case. He was sharing a room with his parents.

**SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2006**

**RED ROCK MESA**

**MID DAY**

Ty thought that the morning helo ride was the most exciting thing that he'd ever done. After they arrived at the summit, they followed the plan and set up camp inside a cave before going out to explore.

With camp made, they started out in search of dinosaur tracks. Uncle Matt led the pack and, before they'd hiked too long, they hit the jackpot - tracks. Ty was so excited by the discovery that you'd have thought that he'd found gold.

They followed the tracks and took a few pictures so that Ty could show them at school during 'share time.' A questioning glance from Uncle Matt, and Mac volunteered the translation, 'show and tell.'

After a bit, Uncle Matt brought the group to a stop. He'd found a bonanza of tracks, some side by side and some crisscrossing the others. Uncle Matt turned to Ty and started to explain the "game" of making use of the pattern of the dinosaur's tracks to make up a story.

Mac leaned against a rock and pulled the canteen strap up over her head to get a drink of water from it. Harm leaned against the rock next to her and, after she got her drink, she offered her canteen to him. He accepted it and took a drink.

Harm was holding the canteen with the hand that he raised, using it to point towards Ty and Uncle Matt. "After today, do you think that Ty will want to be a Marine or Indiana Jones?"

Mac snickered and raised an eyebrow. "Probably a Marine Indiana Jones."

"Just what we need, another overachiever in the family," he replied as he secured the cap back on the canteen.

"He must get that from you," Mac said playfully.

Harm cocked his eyebrow. "How do you figure that?"

"You're the one who can't settle on just one career. No, you have to be a pilot and a lawyer."

Harm moved his face in close to Mac's. "In the Navy, they call us aviators, not pilots." He didn't say any more and he didn't give her a chance to keep the banter going because he placed his lips on hers.

Uncle Matt shot a look in their direction in time to see their lips make contact. Matt decided that he should keep the young man's attention off his parents, but when he looked back towards Ty, the little boy had something to say.

"They kiss a lot, but don't worry. My grandpa says that it's because they love each other a lot."

Matt just smiled. It would seem that his niece had found the happiness that she'd been denied as a child, the kind of childhood that this boy would never know with his niece and Harm as his parents.

With a little water to wet their whistles, a little ribbing and a couple of quick pecks to be sure that there were no hard feelings, Harm called out to the other two, "Are we each going to tell a story or are we going to tell one long story with each of us adding something we see?"

**CAMPSITE**

**LATE IN THE EVENING**

Mac hadn't come back from what Harm thought was a 'ladies room run' and he was starting to worry. Maybe worried wasn't the right word, anxious would be better. He wanted to talk to Mac while they were up here, and now was a good time. All the adventure and excitement from the day had caught up with Ty, and he was zipped up in his sleeping bag sound asleep.

Uncle Matt was zipping himself into his sleeping bag and didn't look at Harm. "You're going to keep me up with your fidgeting, so go. She's probably just enjoying the smog free air up here, but you can check on her. I'll watch over the boy while you're out."

Harm was glad that the colonel wasn't looking at him as a grin broke out across his face. "Thank you, sir. I won't be gone long."

"Be gone as long as you need to be. I've seen about all the kissing that I want to see on this trip."

Harm was glad that there was only a small fire for warmth lighting the room, because he could feel the warmth of the blush on his cheeks, and he was glad that the colonel couldn't see it.

"Understood, sir," Harm replied as he made his way to the cave opening.

Harm didn't make it out of the cave more than two strides before he saw Mac standing there like she'd been waiting for him.

"I was hoping that you'd come out here soon because the wind is picking up and I was getting cold. I was going to come in and get you, but I couldn't think of a reason to offer that would get you out here without Ty."

"Ty's asleep. Your uncle said that he'd keep an eye on him until I got back with you."

"Ty didn't take to Uncle Matt the way he took to Frank, but, by the time Uncle Matt showed him how to make a real S'more over the campfire, I think he'd won Ty over. So I think that they'll be okay for a little while, don't you?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, they'll be fine for a while. Why?"

Mac grabbed Harm's hand. "Come with me," she said as she flicked on the flashlight in her hand. She tugged on his hand, leading him down a path lit by the flashlight.

They didn't travel far before they came to another cave entrance. Mac entered and shut off the flashlight. It was Harm's turn to be impressed. She had a small fire with a blanket spread out as close to it as she dared for safety reasons.

"I wanted to talk to you. I don't have chocolate cake or rose petals, but I'd hope that, with my limited resources, this would be okay," Mac explained.

"It's great," Harm said with enthusiasm, which eased Mac's tension a little. "Let's get comfortable by the fire to take off the chill."

Harm got seated first so that Mac could sit between his legs, leaning back against him, the closeness of their bodies, along with the fire, warming them.

He had something that he wanted to talk to her about, too, but she'd prepared this setting, so she got to go first.

He was trying to wait patiently for her to begin speaking, but it was impossible for him not to bury his face in her hair as he rested his head on her shoulder. He thought, 'Not only does she always look good, but she always smells nice, too.'

Mac's voice broke through his thoughts. "I know that our anniversary isn't until tomorrow, but we'll be traveling most of the day...and I can't explain it, but this just seems like the right place to do this." She paused.

Mac pulled a folded envelope from the pocket of her jacket. "Did you know that the traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper?" she asked.

"Yeah, but only because I looked it up not too long ago in preparation for tomorrow."

"I was going to give you the letter that I wrote to you on the plane to San Diego after we were married, but when I read it over, I decided that it wasn't right to give it to you." She paused again, looking for the right words to explain why. Her mind was distracted from its task a moment later when something caught her eye. When she focused on it, she found that it was a folded envelope in Harm's hand.

Harm had reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded envelope, and he'd held it up for Mac to see. "Because when you read it, it was filled with answers to things like why you love me and when you knew, but it also outlined the hurts that we felt and the mistakes that we made."

"Exactly..." Mac was breathing much easier now. He understood. "...and since we've already talked about some of the misunderstandings of the past, I don't want to relive the pain. I think that we've reached a new comfort level with each other. If something happens that reminds us of a past hurt, we'll be able to recognize it and talk it through, allowing us to continue to move forward."

"You know what this means?" Harm asked.

"What?"

"We're thinking alike again."

Mac turned her head and kissed him on the cheek. "When did you write yours?" she asked.

"Waiting for my flight to London after I'd seen you and Mattie off to San Diego," Harm replied.

"So we're in agreement?"

"We are."

As if they'd rehearsed their movements, they simultaneously lifted the folded envelopes and dropped them onto the fire. They watched as the hot embers heated the edges of the envelopes, causing them to curl before igniting the paper.

As the small flame took charge and burned the folded pieces of paper within the envelopes, Mac leaned forward, pushed a small stick into the fire and moved the remaining visible white envelope with the end of the stick to make sure that the envelopes and papers burned completely. When she was pleased with her work, she leaned back against Harm's firm chest once more. His arms encircled her, and he leaned his cheek against her temple.

A few moments of silence elapsed before Mac spoke. "It was very hard to come up with a gift of paper for you."

"It wasn't easy to figure out one for you either," Harm replied.

Harm removed an arm from around his wife and stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out a small box. He moved his arm back around her with the gift displayed on the palm of his hand.

"I did get you something paper for our anniversary and you'll get that tomorrow on the actual day, but it feels right to give this to you here."

Mac lifted the lid off the box to reveal a velvet box inside. It wasn't the right sized box for a ring. Harm tilted the gift box, allowing the velvet box to fall into Mac's palm. Mac opened it to see a gold chain with three circles hanging from it.

"I don't know if you can see the words in this light, but each circle has a word engraved on it: love, faith and hope. I thought those three words suited us. If you have faith that you'll find love, it'll happen. With love and faith on your side, hope that all your dreams will come true will follow."

She turned to face him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"There aren't words to describe how much I love you. I have faith in us...and I have hope that, whatever fate has in store for us, we'll be -"

"- together forever," she finished for him.

"Absolutely."

"I love you," she said before applying her lips to his for one more kiss. When she pulled back from the kiss she said, "We should get back. The fire's almost out anyway."

"The fire is nowhere close to being out yet," he said in his bedroom voice before pulling her in for a much longer and passionate kiss.

When their lips parted, he teased, "Oh, you were referring to the campfire."

She gave him a smile. "Yes, I was. Now that you've gotten that out of your system until tomorrow night when we get home, do you think that you can manage to put this on me before we go back?" she asked as she handed him the necklace.

After Harm had put the necklace around Mac's neck, they picked up the blanket and made sure that the fire was completely extinguished before heading back to the cave where Ty and Uncle Matt were sound asleep.

**SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2006**

**RABB HOME**

**AFTER DINNER AT THE BURNETT'S**

The trio had arrived at Harm's parent's house for dinner as planned. Ty was full of energy as he told Grandpa about tracking dinosaurs. Frank had missed Ty a lot. You could tell by the way he listened so attentively to every word Ty said.

They'd been home for a few minutes, and Mattie had given them as much of an update about her life as she was willing to reveal before she excused herself to get ready for bed and call Paul to say good night.

Mac was making sure that Ty was taking his bath and going about making sure that he was ready for school tomorrow: homework checked and so forth, the normal Sunday night routine. Harm was in the master bedroom, making sure that they both had a uniform ready for the following morning.

The bedroom door was open, but Harm heard a tap on it. He looked up to see Mattie in the doorway with something in her hand.

"Come in. What's up?"

"I forgot to give you the mail that I picked up yesterday. I think one of them is important. It's from Virginia and it looks official."

"Why did you come by to pick up the mail yesterday? It could've waited until we got home tonight."

Harm knew that the high school versus college locations of her and Paul was one of the reasons for Mattie's mood. He thought that when she'd talked about the official Virginia mail that he'd stumbled upon another reason, but when he put the mail aside and waited for an answer to his question, Harm got an answer that he hadn't expected.

Mattie had been checking the mail everyday because she was looking for some word from her father. After seeing him in Blacksburg some months back, he'd been on her mind a lot, so she'd mailed him a card for Father's Day and had enclosed her cell phone number. He'd called once to say that he'd received the card and that he was going back into Rehab. She was hoping that he'd actually gone and would send her a card or note telling her where he was or when he was going to be released from the program, but it had been almost three months, and she hadn't heard anything.

Harm wasn't sure what to say. He felt badly that her father wasn't giving her what she wanted or needed, but _he_ was there for her. Why couldn't she see that? He opted not to say much.

He moved to her and embraced her in a fatherly hug. "He'll contact you when he's ready, but I'm always here." He must have picked the right approach, because she reciprocated his hug.

"Even if I'm a pain sometimes?" Mattie asked.

"Especially then."

Mattie squeezed him a little tighter. "Thanks, I needed to hear that."

Mattie broke the hug. "You going to wait for Mac -"

"Wait for me for what?" Mac said as she appeared in the doorway.

"Wait for you to open the envelope to see if you're officially parents now," Mattie finished.

"I'm here! Open it!" Mac declared excitedly.

Harm was reaching for the envelope that he'd dropped onto the bed with the other pieces of mail to talk to Mattie. "Okay, okay, I'm getting it."

Mac moved to Harm's side so that she could see the papers, too.

Harm opened the envelope and pulled out the papers inside as Ty arrived in his pajamas. "Why is everyone in here?"

"Because papers came from Virginia, and Harm and Mac are looking them over to see if you're officially theirs," Mattie answered.

"Am I? " Ty asked with a small amount of trepidation in his voice.

Harm and Mac looked up from the papers in Harm's hands. "You are. According to these papers, you've officially been Tyler MacKenzie Rabb for three days," Harm announced.

"This has been the best weekend ever!" Ty exclaimed.

Harm let Mac embrace Ty first while he put his arm around Mattie's shoulders. "Now I have two kids," he said to her.

Mattie looked up at him and smiled. She felt better now, but she still wanted to hear from her father. She was worried about him.

**A FEW HOURS LATER**

**MASTER BEDROOM**

Harm and Mac were tired from the day's travel, but the thrill of Ty being officially their son had given them renewed energy.

As usual, Harm left Ty's room right after he'd completed his turn at story reading. He went to the den and pulled the paper anniversary gift for Mac from his desk drawer before going to the master bedroom.

When he got to the bedroom, Mac was already there. "He fell asleep during the second story," she explained

"I went to get your present from its hiding place," Harm said with a grin as he waved an envelope in the air.

Mac grabbed at the envelope that Harm had in his hand, and he released the envelope to her.

It was a paper certificate for a day at the spa like the one that he'd given to her for Valentine's Day earlier this year.

"Thank you, I really enjoyed my last visit to the spa." Mac kissed him on the cheek and said that she was going to get his present. She went to her night stand, pulled out a blue envelope and presented it to Harm, who'd moved closer to her out of curiosity.

Harm opened the envelope and pulled the card from it. When he opened the card, there was a gift card inside. He lifted his eyes up at her.

"I know it isn't paper, but they call it a card. It's a gift card to use at Borders, a book store where there's lots of paper pages...and the greeting card is paper."

"I wasn't complaining." He read the not mushy, not funny, but loving sentiment in the card before closing it. "Thank you, I love you, too."

"It's kind of hard to get excited about these paper gifts when we opened the best paper gift earlier," Mac said.

"Ty's adoption papers," they said together.

"You're pretty hot for a new mom," Harm growled.

Mac smiled, and the celebration of the first anniversary of their wedding night began as their lips came together.

The past ten years of ups and downs was a testament to that, but could the burning of unread letters and the words love, faith and hope get them through the tough times?

No one's life runs as smoothly and as uneventfully as we'd like, and the Rabb family would be no exception.

Only time would tell if their return to Red Rock Mesa had strengthened the relationship enough to get them through the twists and turns that would come their way as a couple or if their marriage would be torn apart.


	108. Chapter 108

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN - RENEWING RELATIONSHIPS**

**PART ONE – Trying to Bring the Children Closure **

**SATURDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2006 **

Mixed in with the usual junk mail and bills that had come on the Saturday that Ty's adoption papers had arrived was another envelope that contained news of a different kind. It was an invitation to Sturgis Turner's wedding on October 28th.

A lot of things had been put into motion that day. For instance, finding out how worried Mattie was about her father had led Harm to call Bud to get his help in locating Tom Johnson.

Bud had indeed been able to find Tom. He'd checked into a rehab program, though not anywhere near Father's Day as he'd led Mattie to believe.

Harm had contacted Tom after finding out where he was, and Tom had said that he'd checked in for a ninety-day residential program on August 3rd. He was doing well and would call Mattie when he was released. Harm was skeptical about Tom's sincerity, but he told Mattie that he'd been able to locate Tom and gave her the address where she could write to him. Knowing that her father was alive and in a treatment program had seemed to lift Mattie's spirits.

Two weeks ago, after receiving a short note in the mail from her father, Mattie had wanted to see him again.

Harm and Mac had planned all along to take Ty with them to the wedding, but after Harm and Mac had had a long discussion about Mattie and Tom, Harm called Tom to make sure that he wanted to see Mattie. When Tom indicated that he'd very much like to see her, Harm and Mac made the decision that all four members of the family were going on this trip.

They'd left San Diego after work last night, but travel time, combined with the time zone changes, had made their arrival at the Roanoke airport very early this morning, so they'd taken a room at the Roanoke Airport Hotel to get a few hours of sleep. As they got out of bed this morning, everything that had happened in the last four weeks or so was pushed aside to prepare for what lay in store for the family today.

Dressed comfortably for the drive, but with the clothes that they planned to change into at the Roberts' home to wear to the wedding in garment bags, it was time to get ready to leave the hotel.

After their 'wedding clothes' and bags were loaded into the car, they grabbed something from the continental breakfast at the hotel before heading for Blacksburg.

The first stop was to drop Mattie off to see her father at the rehab center - a stop that Harm had mixed feelings about - which caused him to drive from the hotel to the Rolling Hills Rehabilitation Center by gripping the steering wheel of the rental car with both hands so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Harm was sure that a visit from his daughter would be good for Tom, but he wasn't sure if the same could be said for Mattie.

Mac was worried that Tom would disappoint Mattie again, but she was more worried about the reaction that Harm would have to Mattie's disappointment. Mac wouldn't want to be Tom if he screwed up again.

The car pulled up in front of Rolling Hills, and Mattie opened the car door. "What time will you be by to pick me up so that I can be out front waiting for you?"

Mattie didn't think that it was going to be that easy, did she? Harm wasn't going to just drop her off. He was going to walk her inside.

Harm was calm. "I'll tell you what time to expect us while I walk you in."

Harm was out of the car faster than Mattie could respond, or perhaps she had time but was being sensitive to the fact that Tyler was in the car and opted not to say anything until they were both outside the vehicle.

**ROLLING HILLS REHABILITATION CENTER  
NEAR BLACKSBURG, VA **

Once inside the lobby of the center, Mattie stopped to offer a protest about being accompanied.

"Harm, you don't have to walk me to his door. I can do this on my own."

With a great deal of reluctance on Harm's part, he offered a compromise. "Let's get someone to call his room. If they reach him, I'll leave you here to meet him on your own."

Mattie knew that Harm could be as stubborn as she could be, so she agreed to the compromise, knowing that this was hard for him. She knew that he was just trying to protect her from any more hurts that her father might cause her.

Mattie wasn't sure that she could let her father get that close again, but he was her father, and she did have fond memories of better times with him and her mother.

A seed of guilt sprouted in Mattie's gut as she heard Harm ask the volunteer at the desk in the lobby to see Mr. Johnson. Mattie wanted a relationship with her father, but she knew that, if she ever needed help or support in life, she'd turn to Harm first. He was the dad that she hadn't ever had. When her mother had been alive, she hadn't noticed what she was missing, but the death of her mother had tarnished the image of the dad that she'd thought she had. Her father's turning to the bottle again to deal with his inability to face the seriousness of her injuries and the needs of her recovery had slapped her in the face with the harsh reality that she couldn't depend on him. Tom Johnson's only "child" was whatever bottle of liquor he was cradling at the moment. She knew that it wasn't fair to Harm to keep him at a distance until she needed him, but he never complained. Harm's acceptance of his place in her life had been what had planted the seed of guilt inside her.

The senior citizen volunteer at the reception desk had called Tom Johnson's room. "Mr. Johnson will be out to meet you in a moment."

A wave of intense doubt rose inside Mattie, and she reached for Harm's hand for reassurance. Harm didn't flinch as her hand wrapped around a couple of his fingers. Mattie's voice cracked. "Will you stay until he gets here?"

"I'll stay as long as you need me."

Tom Johnson appeared a few minutes later, thin and frail looking. He didn't look well, though his voice seemed strong. "There's my little girl," he said as he came closer.

Mattie's hand released Harm's, and she took a couple of tentative steps towards her father as Tom's arms opened, preparing for an embrace.

"I'm so glad you came. I've wanted to see you," he said as his arms wrapped around his daughter.

Tom looked at Harm. "Thank you for bringing her. I can't believe how well she looks."

"Don't thank me. She wanted to come."

Harm wanted to say more. He wanted to warn Tom that Mattie was a strong young lady, but that he'd better not hurt her again. He wanted to say that she's doing very well and you'd know that if you bothered to call and talk to her regularly. Harm didn't verbalize any of his thoughts. He just fixed a stare on the other man and hoped that he was silently communicating his concern for Mattie.

Mattie broke the hug with her father and turned to face Harm when he spoke her name.

"Mattie, we'll give you a call when we're leaving the Potter's so that we can pick you up before we grab lunch and head to the Roberts'. If you need to be picked up sooner, you give me a call, okay?"

"I'll be fine, Harm." Mattie gave him that look, the one that said that I can handle this, but thanks for being there for me. "I'll see you in a little bit. Tell Miss Nancy that I said hi."

"Sure will," Harm said as he nodded in Tom's direction as an acknowledgment of the other man's presence before he turned to leave.

After leaving Mattie to visit with her father, Harm returned to Mac and Tyler who were waiting for him in the car.

Once Harm had taken his place behind the wheel, Mac placed her hand on his shoulder, offering him non-verbal comfort.

**THE POTTER HOME**

**BLACKSBURG, VA**

Ty wanted to see Miss Nancy and tell her that he had a new name because his adoption was final, so the next stop was the Potter home, the foster home where Harm and Mac had met Tyler when Mattie had stayed there for a short period of time after her release from the hospital.

Mac had already called Miss Nancy to tell her that Tyler's adoption had been finalized and to see if it would be okay to stop by with Tyler today while they were in town. Mac could hear the tears in the woman's voice when she'd told Mac that she was happy for her and for Tyler and that she'd loved to see Tyler again to say her goodbyes.

Nancy Potter hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Her favorite foster child was returning for a final visit. She was grateful to the Rabb's for giving her this opportunity to say goodbye. She'd gotten up and made the children for whom she was currently caring a big pancake breakfast before sending them off to complete their Saturday morning chores. She'd kept herself busy, checking on the children and overseeing their chores until the children were finished and able to get bundled up for playing outside.

Her backyard was filled with five lively children playing on whom she kept a watchful eye from her kitchen window while baking chocolate chip cookies, Tyler's favorite, to keep busy while she waited. Finally, she heard a knock on the door. Nervous perspiration moistening her palms told her that it was the knock that she'd been waiting for this morning.

Miss Nancy wiped her hands on her apron as she moved to the front door to greet her guests.

Once at the door, she looked out the peephole and couldn't see Tyler, but the couple who she spied through the glass were his new parents. Miss Nancy took a deep breath and turned the knob. When the door opened, standing in front of his parents was her Tyler with a smile as wide as Texas and as bright as the sun.

"Miss Nancy!" he happily exclaimed as he took a step inside the house.

Nancy Potter was on auto pilot. She moved to him and bent down to hug him. "Tyler, it is so good to see you." After a moment, she remembered that he hadn't come alone. She looked at up at Harm and Mac. "I'm sorry. It's cold, and I've left you standing out there too long. Come in! Please come in."

As soon as the door had closed behind the Rabbs, Tyler had an observation to make. "Miss Nancy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"The house is quiet. Did everyone get adopted?"

Miss Nancy laughed heartily. "No, I still have a house full. Two of the ones that I have now were here with you, Patty and Dale. Everyone is playing in the backyard."

Ty's head spun around to his parents. "Can I go outside and say hi to them and maybe play for a few minutes before we have to go to the wedding?"

"If it's okay with Miss Nancy, sure," Mac said.

Ty's head spun back to Miss Nancy. "I'm sure they'd love to see you and, about ten minutes ago, your friend from next door joined them, so you'll be able to see him, too."

"Cool," the little boy said as he ran for the sliding glass doors to see his friends.

"Don't run," Miss Nancy automatically reminded him.

The thundering sound stopped, and they heard a "yes, ma'am" in reply.

Miss Nancy smiled brightly as she looked at the Rabbs. "I can't tell you how much I've missed that boy. He said something about going to a wedding? I thought the two of you had already gotten hitched."

The sweet disposition of Miss Nancy reminded Harm of his grandmother, a woman who was kind and caring, but was obeyed by young and old alike.

Without even looking at each other, Harm and Mac raised their left hands, offering a view of their wedding rings as proof of what they were going to say. "We did," they said.

Harm continued as they dropped their hands, "It's an Academy friend of mine who's getting married."

"Is Ty attending the wedding with you?"

"No, he's staying with the children of other attendees at the home of some good friends of ours," Harm explained.

Mac added, "You met them at Ty's birthday party in the park, Bud and Harriet Roberts. They have two boys and the twins."

"That'll be good for him. I've had children come through here who had trouble relating to other children, but Tyler was always a social child. He enjoys being around other kids. Now that Tyler's adoption is final, are you planning to adopt a brother or sister to keep him company? He's been around children of all ages and both genders here, so I'm sure that he'd get along with either, you know, if you wanted a girl to balance out your family."

The look that came over Harm and Mac's faces were a mixture of shock and uncertainty. They hadn't even been discussing their attempts to have a child with Harm's parents. They certainly didn't want to discuss it with a woman whom they barely knew, but how could they not offer some kind of explanation to this kind woman.

Nancy Potter was ashamed of herself when she saw the looks on their faces. She'd only been trying to point out that she felt that Tyler needed companionship from someone closer to his own age. Yes, there were only children in the world who spent all their time with adults and there was nothing wrong with that, but Tyler had spent the first seven years of his life around other children…usually at least five or six. Nancy knew that the one-on-one attention from the Rabbs would be good for Tyler in some ways, especially in the beginning, but she'd been thinking about it more recently. Because of the way Tyler had lived, was a single child environment the best one for Tyler in the long run? It was Miss Nancy who broke the tension in the room.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking aloud. The adoption hasn't been final but a few weeks. I'm sure that you've only had time to celebrate that news and not much else. Can we just forget that I asked and talk over a cup of coffee or tea?" Nancy held her breath, waiting for an answer. She didn't want the Rabbs to be upset with her and leave without letting her spend a few minutes with Tyler. She needed a few minutes to be with him to come to grips with the fact that he really wasn't coming back to her.

"I had my two-cup limit of coffee with breakfast, but tea would be great," Mac answered.

"If you don't mind, can we move to the kitchen? I have a view of the backyard from the kitchen so that I can keep an eye on the children while we have tea and talk."

The Rabbs sipped tea and enjoyed a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie as they chatted with Miss Nancy about Tyler. They covered everything from Tyler's grades in school to the fact that, while they were here, they were going to have to make a stop to buy him a new winter coat because the one that he was wearing was a little small and, since they were going to Pennsylvania next month for Thanksgiving, he'd need a winter coat that fit.

It was heartbreaking for Miss Nancy when it was time to call in the children. It was time to get them inside and out of their bulky winter coats to warm up and wash up while she prepared their lunch, but today it signaled that it was time for her to say goodbye to Tyler.

Miss Nancy had known early on that Harm and Mac were the right parents for Tyler, but when they offered to slice the apples and make the peanut butter sandwiches for the children's lunch so that she could have a few moments alone with Tyler, she knew that they were just good people. Her Tyler was in good hands.

While Tyler was telling Miss Nancy about the helicopter ride and finding dinosaur tracks with Mac's Uncle Matt last month, and making sure that she knew that his new name was Tyler MacKenzie Rabb, Harm and Mac were in the kitchen, working on lunch.

Harm was coring and cutting the apples into wedges that Miss Nancy had given him while Mac was starting her assembly line for sandwiches by lining up slices of bread. Miss Nancy had left very strict instructions. Each plate was to have half a sandwich, cut diagonally, not across, and half an apple cut in wedges.

Harm made a cut on his first apple. "Did you see him out there with the other kids running and playing?"

This time, Mac knew where the conversation was going, but she didn't know how she felt about adopting another child. She also didn't think that it was a talk that she wanted to have in someone else's home. "Yes, he's a different kind of happy being here than he is with us. We might have to talk over her suggestion of adopting one more when we get home."

They didn't speak another word on the topic while they concentrated on completing their tasks to Miss Nancy's specifications.

They were putting the last of the apple wedges on the last plate when Miss Nancy came in with her hand wrapped around Ty's.

"I made Tyler's favorite cookie for today's afternoon treat. Since Tyler hasn't had lunch yet, would it be okay if I pack up a few for him to take with him for later?" Miss Nancy asked.

Tyler was giving Harm and Mac the 'pretty please, pleading eyes' look.

Mac smiled at Tyler. "I think we've got enough room in the car, but it's a long drive to the Roberts,' so you'd better see if Miss Nancy can spare a few extras for Mattie, Harm and me," Mac teased.

"I think I can handle that request." Miss Nancy's eyes scanned the finished lunch plates while she reached into the cabinet for a plastic container in which to pack the cookies. "The two of you do good work. If you're ever back this way, I could always use help in the kitchen. Tyler, will you go call the children in to lunch for me while I get your cookies ready to go, please?"

"Sure," he replied. Helping out always made him feel good.

Tyler returned to the kitchen. "They're washing their hands and will be here in a minute."

"Harm, why don't you get Ty into his coat and head to the car?" Mac requested. "I'll be there in a minute."

Harm accepted the box of cookies from Miss Nancy. Ty raised his arms, and Miss Nancy grabbed him and held him to her in a hug. "I love and miss you," he said as he squeezed tightly.

Miss Nancy had a lump in her throat. "I love and miss you, too..." She pulled back to look Ty in the eye. "...but I'm happy that you found parents who love you as much as I do." After one last squeeze, she stood up straight. "Your parents have to be somewhere, so you'd better get moving."

"Yes, ma'am," he said and turned to follow Harm out of the kitchen.

Harm knew that the bag that Mac had brought in with her when they'd arrived contained something for Miss Nancy and that it was time for Mac to give it to her.

While Harm headed towards the living room with Ty, Mac went over to the chair at the table where her purse and the shopping bag that she'd brought in with her were sitting.

Once Ty and Harm were out of the kitchen, Mac pulled the scrapbook that she'd brought out of the bag and placed it on the table.

"This is for you. We know that it was hard for you to let him go, but we can't imagine our life without him," Mac said as Miss Nancy lifted the cover.

The first page brought tears to Nancy Potter's eyes. It was the first picture that she'd ever taken of Tyler when he'd come to live with her at two weeks of age. She'd given that picture to the Rabbs. She didn't understand.

"I had some of the pictures copied from the scrapbook that you gave me. I put them in this book and, towards the back, you'll find pictures of him that have been taken since he's been with us, like the one of him standing in the dinosaur tracks. I left a few blank pages in the back. If you'd like, I can send you his school picture every year to fill in those pages."

"I'd like that," Miss Nancy said with tears in her eyes. "I want to thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me that you made sure that I got to say goodbye, but with these pictures, it won't seem like he's so far away. Thank you."

Mac embraced the older woman. "No, thank you. He's been the greatest gift that I've ever been given."

The two women completed the comforting embrace and parted.

Mac grabbed her purse and left with a heavy heart. Why did one woman have to feel so empty to make another woman feel so complete?

**OUTSIDE THE POTTER HOME**

In the car outside the Potter home, Mac got in and fastened her seatbelt while Harm dialed Mattie's number on his cell phone. He was calling to tell her that they were on their way to pick her up for lunch.

Mac heard Harm say hello and tell her that they were headed her way, and then she watched the color drain from Harm's face as Mattie spoke to him.

Mac didn't get the feeling that something was wrong with Mattie, but something definitely wasn't right. There was hurt in Harm's eyes that she didn't hear in his voice when he ended the call. "Then I guess we'll pick you up there tomorrow morning on our way to the airport."

The hurt or his covering it up to Mattie, one of the two, had caused anger to bubble up inside her and, for the moment, she forgot that Ty was in the car with them. "Where is she going to be tonight?" Mac asked a little more harshly and a little louder than she'd meant to.

"Are you mad at Mattie, Momma?" Ty asked from the backseat.

Mac calmed instantly at his question. "No, I'm just confused because I thought that Mattie was coming with us."

Mac was happy that Harm didn't make her rephrase the question and ask again. After she'd answered Ty, Harm informed them of a change in plans. "Mattie's staying in Blacksburg tonight. We'll pick her up in the morning." Harm gave Mac a look that said that he'd give her the details later.


	109. Chapter 109

**PART TWO – A Visit With Friends**

**ROBERTS' HOME**

**MANASSAS, VA**

Arriving at Harriet and Bud's was like coming home for Harm and Mac. Their perky personalities, combined with the genuine outpouring of affection for them and their son, made it impossible for Harm to stay in a somber mood.

Ty had been here only once before, but AJ and Jimmy were dragging him off to play within minutes of their arrival. The smile as he marched off with the two Roberts' boys didn't go unnoticed by his parents.

The two couples had a little more than an hour to talk and catch up before the nanny would arrive to watch the children so that the adults could don dressier clothing to attend the wedding and reception. Harm and Bud made their way to Bud's den, while the two women moved to the kitchen to talk so that Harriet could check with Mac to see if what she'd planned for the children's dinner and snacks was okay for Tyler.

Mac stopped Harriet part way through her list of options for snacks. "Harriet, he isn't allergic to anything that we know about, and we've been lucky because he eats or will try almost anything."

"Really? That's great. Give me your secret, because Jimmy won't eat anything."

"I think we owe his eating habits to his foster mother," Mac said with a soft chuckle.

Harriet detected the sadness in Mac's voice and suspected that she'd faked the chuckle. The visit that Mac had made to Harriet when she'd been expecting the twins fluttered through Harriet's mind. Harriet wondered if Harm didn't want to have a baby because, from that visit, she was sure that Mac did. Harriet had a twinge of sadness grip her. 'Wouldn't that be awful to be in love with a man for so long and then, when you get him, find out that he doesn't want to have a baby?' Harriet thought. The next thought that Harriet had was that she couldn't imagine why Harm wouldn't want a baby. She'd never had the impression that Harm didn't want to be a father. Before Harriet could construct a question that would tactfully ask about the prospect of a baby in the future, AJ dashed into the room.

"Mom, may Ty spend the night?"

Harriet was so proud of her son at this moment. He'd come up with the perfect idea. Maybe her friends didn't have a baby because they had Mattie and Ty, so they didn't have a chance to work on one. "I think that would be a great idea, but we'd have to find out if he can, because I don't know what time they have to leave to go back to California tomorrow."

"I told AJ that Mattie had messed up the schedule for tomorrow, so I didn't think that I could, but he said that we should ask anyway," Ty offered.

Mac said, "Let's go ask Harm." It was Mac's maternal instinct that caused her to take Ty with her to the other room, leaving AJ with Harriet. It gave her the chance to ask Ty if spending the night was something that he wanted to do without feeling pressured from AJ. With an affirmative answer from Ty, they continued on their way to see Harm in the den.

**MEANWHILE, IN THE DEN**

Harm sat down in an oversized chair in Bud's den. A football game was on the super-sized TV screen.

Bud sat down and asked, "Do you like working with NCIS, sir?"

Harm rolled his eyes. "I might as well give up. You're never going to call me Harm, are you?"

"Sorry, sir, it's just hard to be casual with you. I mean, you have command presence even in civvies, sir. I mean, it is a complement, sir. I…"

Harm raised his hand and waved off Bud. "I understand, Bud, but keep working on it, will ya?" Harm saw Bud take a breath, clearing the muddled look from his face. "Working with NCIS is really pretty interesting. Of course, a new assignment gets interesting fast when you have to investigate one of your staff in the first week and, by about five weeks into the job, you've been instrumental in putting a ten-year veteran of NCIS in prison."

Of course, that statement had Bud intrigued, and a conversation about Agent Sinclair ensued. Harm normally wouldn't have been so talkative about a case, but Sinclair had lost his last appeal a week ago, and his conviction, along with the long-term prison sentence, had been upheld, so he wasn't sharing information that would cause a problem.

The conversation between the two men fell into a quiet moment while they checked out the score on the game.

The silence was broken in the room when Mac entered. "Harm..."

Harm looked in her direction, hoping that it wasn't time to get up. The overstuffed and oversized chair was so comfortable that he didn't want to move. He'd decided that they needed one of these in their living room. Once Harm made eye contact with her so that she knew that she'd been heard, she continued, "AJ has asked Harriet if Ty can spend the night with him. Ty would like to, but I wasn't sure if we were still staying in the DC area or heading back towards Blacksburg tonight after the reception. So we've come to find out if it's possible for him to stay."

"Bud and Harriet will be getting in kind of late because of the wedding and the reception afterward. I don't think that it would be fair to make them get up early just so that we can pick you up, do you?" Harm was posing his question to Ty.

Bud interjected before Ty could respond, "Harm, the boys will understand if the timing is off for you, but the twins will have us up early no matter what time we get in, so picking him up early isn't a problem, sir."

How could Harm say no between the 'pretty please' look on his son's face, Bud calling him Harm and the twinkle in Mac's eyes, which said that 'it'll be only the two of us alone if he stays the night?'

"Well, if Harriet, Bud and Mom are all on board, and they don't mind the fact that we'll have to pick you up about seven in the morning in order to get Mattie and get to the airport on time, then it's okay with me," Harm replied, addressing Ty.

Mac went back to the kitchen to tell AJ and Harriet that the request for spending the night had been approved, while Harm and Ty went out to the car to get his bag.

**HARRIET'S KITCHEN**

Harriet had one thing left on her list to get done, feeding the twins before changing for the wedding. With a twin on each hip, Harriet was maneuvering to get the twins into their highchairs to feed them when Mac reentered the kitchen.

"If you're going to be keeping my kid tonight, let me help you with the twins," Mac suggested.

"Are you sure that you want to help? It can get messy," Harriet warned her.

"I'm sure," Mac replied as she reached for Nikki.

Not wanting to get drafted into helping his mother with the twins, AJ tugged on Ty, and both boys left the kitchen to return to AJ's room to play.

"Usually, the nanny helps during the week and Bud does on the weekends, but Bud has been talking about Harm coming all week. I wasn't going to ask him to help me today. We gave the nanny yesterday off in exchange for her working this evening, so, since I fed both of them solo only twenty-four hours ago, you'd think that I'd have developed a system that would have made this at least a little easier, but no, I didn't. So, if you really don't mind, I'd love to have the help."

"I guess it's my lucky day then, isn't it, Nikki?" Mac cooed at the little girl now in her arms. In return, Mac was the recipient of the toddler's giggle.

Harriet passed off Mac's enthusiasm for helping her with the twins as a subtle way to make sure that everyone arrived on time for the wedding and not that Mac wanted a child of her own until she began to observe the interaction between Mac and her daughter.

As Harriet wiped her son's face, she hinted, "Ma'am, you're a natural. You and Harm should give it a try."

"Maybe we should," Mac replied casually.

Mac wasn't going to share her woes with her friend concerning her inability to have a baby. She and Harm had gone back to trying this month without success. She'd had an egg to harvest, but the doctor had told them that it hadn't produced a viable embryo for transfer.

"You said earlier that Mattie was staying in Blacksburg tonight and, with Tyler here..." Harriet smiled devilishly "...you'll be all alone tonight."

Mac wasn't sure what to say and, thankfully, she didn't have to come up with anything because Bud entered the kitchen. "I'm here to take over and get the twins washed up while you start to get ready, Sweetie. We don't want to be late."

Harm came to the kitchen doorway. "You're just in time, Harm," Harriet said. "You're wife helped feed them, so I guess you get to help Bud get them cleaned up so that Mac can get ready without having to feel rushed."

Bud cringed. What was his wife doing asking the captain to help get the twins cleaned up and changed?

"No problem," Harm said as he pecked Mac on the cheek.

Mac knew that it was Harriet's way of trying to give Harm a little touch of 'baby fever.'

Mac wished that she felt more comfortable with discussing their situation instead of leaving Harm in a spot, but when she looked back at the men before leaving the kitchen, Harm had already picked up the little boy and was looking very comfortable with his new duty.

The twins were in dry diapers and clean clothes before the nanny arrived. The time for renewing old friendships was over. It was time for the men to get ready to attend the wedding, too.

**THE ROBERTS' MASTER BEDROOM**

Bud entered his bedroom and didn't see Harriet. "Harriet," he called out.

"In here, Sweetie." He heard Harriet say from the master bathroom.

He moved towards her voice until he got to the open doorway. "What were you thinking asking the captain to help get the twins cleaned up?" he asked in a disapproving tone.

"His wife wants to have a baby, and I thought that, if he got close to one and saw that it isn't as scary as he thinks it is, he'd want one, too."

"Harriet, you don't know that he doesn't want one. I'll bet you don't know for sure if the colonel wants one."

"How did Harm do with the twins?"

Bud sighed in disbelief that she wasn't letting the idea go. "He did fine, why?"

"I've seen him with Ty, and he's a good dad. I'll bet that he'd be a good father, too."

"Harriet, stop and consider that it may not be right for them. I mean, with Mattie and Tyler as well as their career responsibilities, perhaps they don't want to have one now." Bud turned to walk away to get himself dressed, but turned back when another thought crossed his mind. "And you shouldn't try to ask them because, what if there's some reason why they can't have one? It would make our friends' visit awkward for everyone." Bud left Harriet to think over what he'd said while she finished dressing.

**SAME TIME**

**GUEST ROOM**

Harm tapped lightly on the door and said, "Mac, it's me" before entering the room that was serving as a place for them to change.

Mac had just slipped her dress carefully over her head so as not to disturb her hair when she heard Harm through the door, announcing his arrival.

Harm entered, and his eyes scanned his wife. Mac had her dress on, but no shoes yet. She'd washed her face of the makeup that she'd applied quickly this morning and had pulled up her hair, but in a flattering way, not the rigid version that she wore with her uniform.

"Your suit is in the garment bag over the back of the chair behind you."

"You know, you'd better watch it. It's bad etiquette to go to a wedding and look prettier than the bride."

Mac got a little blush in her cheeks and moved towards him. "I don't think that Varese has anything to worry about today. No one will be looking at anyone except her..." She paused. "...but thank you for the compliment." She kissed him on the cheek. "Now, get dressed. We've got to be out of here in twenty one minutes or we'll be late for the ceremony."

Harm had learned over the years not to look at his watch or to question her about her sense of time because it was a waste of his time.

He turned to retrieve his clothing so that he could change.

Mac went into the guest bathroom to apply her makeup. When she came out, Harm was flipping up his collar, preparing to put on his tie. She moved to the chair and watched him for a moment. "How did helping Bud clean up the twins go?"

"Okay," Harm said while fiddling with his tie.

"I think that Harriet was trying to get you to start thinking about us having a baby, because she suggested that we should try to have one."

Harm spun around to look at his wife. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I feel badly that I didn't explain to her why we don't have a baby. I thought about telling her that we'd started trying, but I didn't want her asking every time we get a chance to see them if I'm pregnant yet. Unfortunately, I think the way that I answered her made her think that you don't want to have one. I'm sorry about that." Mac broke eye contact with him and looked down at her shoes. She slipped on the first one, but before she had her foot in the second, Harm was squatting next to the chair.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. When you think about it, it may not have been anything you said. She may think that, if it took me nine years to marry you, a commitment to a child might take me another nine or ten years." Harm was poking fun at himself in an attempt to make her feel better.

Mac smiled. He was a sweet man. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me feel better."

"Anytime."

Harm stood up. As he moved towards the dresser with the mirror to get back to tying his tie, he felt Mac swat him on his six.

"You do realize that it will be just the two of us tonight, right?"

He turned his head and raised his eyebrow. "You have trying for a baby tonight on your mind, Mrs. Rabb?" he asked as she moved closer to him.

"I hear that there's no such thing as too much practice," she said in a playfully sexy tone.

Harm was reaching for his wife when a knock on the door interrupted the direction in which they were about to go.

"Sir, ma'am, are you ready to go yet?" Bud asked through the door.

Mac was closer, so she took a couple of steps to the door and opened it. "I'm ready, and Harm is finishing up with his tie, so he'll be ready in just a minute. You and Harriet ready to go?

"I wasn't trying to rush you, but I was wondering if you wanted to ride with us."

Harriet came by just then and heard Bud ask if they wanted to ride with them. "Of course they don't want to ride with us, Bud. If they rode with us, they'd have to leave the reception when we do, not to mention that, with Ty spending the night here, they'll get to be alone tonight, so they wouldn't want to waste time coming back here tonight for their car when they could be making better use of it." Harriet reached for Bud's arm and tugged at him. "We're going to go say good night to the children and check with the nanny, and then we'll be ready to leave."

Harm came up behind Mac, having finished putting on his tie and adding his jacket. "I'm going to run our things out to the car. Then we'll say good night to Ty and we'll be ready to go, too."

**RABB RENTAL CAR **

**EN ROUTE TO ANNAPOLIS **

Mac wasn't sure that she should ask since Harm's mood had made a remarkable recovery while visiting with their friends, the Roberts, but she wanted to know where Mattie was staying tonight and why.

"Harm, is Mattie okay?"

"Yes, no, I don't know." He took in a deep breath and tried to settle his thoughts. They'd been at the Roberts for about ninety minutes, and he was answering Mac in a Bud-like muddle. He started again. "She's fine, but she said that Tom told her that he needed to talk about a few things with her and that it was important. She'd already taken a bus back to the Grace house when I called. She has her father's truck to get around and is doing a few errands for her dad, like checking on Grace Aviation. After running errands, she was going to go back to spend more time with him this afternoon. She said that she was going to spend the night at the house and she asked that we pick her up from there in the morning."

"How do you feel about her being there?"

"I had reservations about her even seeing Tom, but she'll be eighteen in about six weeks, so if I try to hold her back, she'll just take off then. I can't fathom what Tom would have to discuss with her. I mean, we know that he hired a manager to run Grace Aviation, so why would he be sending Mattie out there? I know that Tom's her father, but..."

"You love her and you're worried about her," Mac finished for him. "That's one of the things that makes you a good dad..." Mac patted him on the knee. "...and one of the reasons why I love you so much."

Harm gave her a shy smile. "I love you, too."

Mac wanted to try to get Harm's mind off of Mattie. "So, you looking forward to watching another bachelor fall?"

"I'm looking forward to an evening out with you," Harm replied with a flirtatious grin on his face. "I must say that Varese must be one hell of a woman to put up with Sturgis."

"You two were friends once, and he's invited you to his wedding. I thought you told me that you two had made peace before you left Washington."

"We did make peace, but you don't understand the change in Sturgis. At the Academy, he was serious about his studies, but he wasn't so uptight about everything else. He was fun to be around."

"I see, so he broke a few rules with you and Keeter, and that made him fun?"

"Something like that. You'd have to have known us back then. Keeter was the bad boy, trying to clean up his act. I was the good guy, trying to act bad, and Sturgis was the preacher's son, which meant that he was never a suspect, but at the very least, he'd been in on the prank, and he planned a few, too."

"Where did Diane fit into all this?"

"She's the one who I confided in after we'd pulled something."

"Do you think that Keeter will be there tonight?"

"Bud told me that Sturgis had asked him if I'd been able to find Keeter to invite him to our wedding, so I know that he was looking for him, but I don't know if he had any better luck finding him than I did. So I have no idea if he'll be there tonight or not."

"I think it would be great if he'd been able to get hold of him and he was there tonight, and the three of you got to share a drink and tell a few Academy stories."

"It would be nice to see him and catch up. I haven't seen him since you and I got him out of Iran. I've heard from him a few times, but nothing since a few months before we got together." Harm sounded sad that he'd lost touch with his friend.

Mac put her hand on his shoulder. "When I met him, he seemed to be a little like you, so I'm sure that he's off trying to save the world in his own way."

"Or the CIA way," Harm muttered under his breath. He'd kept his CIA life secret from Mac the way he was supposed to do, but on more than one occasion, he'd heard the name Jack Keeter in the halls of the CIA. Harm was sure that Jack was flying for them, maybe not on a regular basis, but he was still working for them.

Mac heard Harm's muttered comment. "When we were in Iran, you said that Keeter's dad had died right after graduation. Does Keeter have any family that would know to contact you if something happened to him?"

"Yes, and I'm sure that they'd notify me...if they knew."

Mac knew that he was talking about the CIA's reluctance to admit to losses, especially if the person just disappeared. Mac decided that, if Jack Keeter didn't make an appearance tonight, she'd make a few calls on Monday morning. She thought that a call to Director Kershaw or Clayton Webb might work, or perhaps Harm's "first wife" would like to do something nice for him. Yes, she had ways to find Jack Keeter. If a brief visit with Bud and Harriet had improved his mood, then a visit with his oldest friend would surely be good medicine for Harm.


	110. Chapter 110

**PART THREE – Wedding Memories **

**EN ROUTE TO THE RECEPTION **

**WASHINGTON, ****DC **

During the almost hour drive between the chapel at Annapolis where the wedding had been held and the Winter Garden Hotel where the reception was taking place, Mac kept the conversation to a discussion of the wedding ceremony.

Harm's mood had improved since she'd questioned him about Mattie, and she was trying to keep his mind from revisiting the topic. Besides, she was hoping to find out if being at the wedding had caused any wedding memories to surface for him the way they had for her.

"Harriet told me that she offered to help with planning the wedding, but Varese had already hired a professional wedding planner. Harriet said that she was a little disappointed at first, but after Bud had told her some of the comments that Sturgis had made around the office, she was glad that she wasn't helping because the planner seemed to be caught in the middle."

"Whatever the problem was, the wedding planner seems to have resolved it. I thought the chapel looked nice, though I'm sure that Harriet would've done a great job. She did a great job with ours," Harm commented.

"Harriet said that it worked out for the best since Bud didn't really want her to be involved. According to Harriet, Bud's reason was that Sturgis has been making an effort to move past the past and that tensions in the office have been improving for Bud, so any little hiccup in the wedding or reception might have caused a setback in his and Bud's working relationship if Harriet had been helping to plan the wedding," Mac explained.

The car fell silent for a moment before Mac resumed the wedding talk. "Harriet said that she was surprised that the wedding was being held at Annapolis. From what Bud had said, the military aspect was part of the problem. Varese had envisioned her wedding from a young age, and she didn't want to settle for less than her dream wedding, but she never envisioned marrying a career military man, either. That's why they finally hired a professional to plan the wedding, so they could objectively combine the desires of the bride for a small formal wedding, while incorporating naval touches to recognize the groom's distinguished military career. I think, from the look of the chapel, the wedding planner accomplished her task."

"Yeah, I have to say that, when we walked into the chapel and I saw that the flowers were a mix of red, white and blue, I was wondering 'what were they thinking,' but after we sat down and I took a good look around, I changed my mind. I don't know if it was because of where the arrangements were placed or the fact that the colors were mixed in each arrangement instead of a blue one here, a red one there and a white one somewhere else, but I think the patriotic color scheme worked," Harm commented.

"Maybe it was the fact there weren't a lot of arrangements either, just the right amount of flowers. Of course, the location alone sort of made the colors appropriate. I'm afraid to admit that I didn't see how it pertained to the wedding until Varese's attendants and matron of honor started down the aisle in that muted shade of red, followed by Varese in white, leaving the blue to stand for Sturgis and the Navy. I thought Varese looked beautiful," Mac added.

Harm reached for Mac's hand and brought it to his lips. "She wasn't the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen." Harm kissed the back of Mac's hand and then rested their clasped hands on the seat between them. "That title goes to you."

"Just between us, you were the best looking groom ever, too."

With their hands clasped and resting on the seat, they continued to talk about the wedding, including the fact that Varese looked very surprised when her new father-in-law, who'd been selected as best man and had led the arch of swords, had actually performed it in the traditional way. She'd apparently felt that he wouldn't follow through with the 'whack' and "Go Navy' tradition. He may be a chaplain, but he's also a Navy man, so she should've known that it would happen. The last few minutes of conversation were about whether or not Varese really understood the military life that she'd just joined.

**TURNER RECEPTION **

**WINTER GARDEN HOTEL**

**WASHINGTON, DC**

Harm and Mac weren't the first ones to arrive at the reception, but the room hadn't begun to fill up yet either.

A young woman at the door informed them that they were seated at the long table at the front of the room, the bride and groom's table.

As they moved towards their table, they noticed that the red, white and blue theme had been continued here, but instead of with flowers, the tables were adorned with candles in white and blue on red tablecloths.

The face of a man a couple of chairs down looked familiar to Harm, but he couldn't put a name with the face. Harm pulled out Mac's chair for her and, once they were seated in their places, they looked around at the other place cards. Harm was trying to discretely look at the man's name with the familiar face, and Mac was searching for names of someone she knew.

They were leaving tomorrow evening, and the stop to pick up Ty in the morning was going to be brief, so, since Mac was hoping to be able to talk with Harriet a little more, she hoped that Bud and Harriet were seated close to them.

Mac hadn't realized it before now, but she didn't have any friends in San Diego. Of course, at first, she hadn't had time to make friends between settling into her new duty station and taking care of Mattie.

Now that Harm was there and they'd adopted Ty, all of her time seemed to be taken up with work and family. Maybe she and Harm should make an effort to develop some friendships with people there. Now that they were in their house, she'd have to make an effort to get to know her neighbors.

Seeing Harriet again was a mixed blessing. She enjoyed having another woman to talk to, but Mac still had reservations about confiding in her about some of her more personal feelings.

The fact that Harriet had once been a junior officer with whom she'd worked was one of the reasons why she felt that she couldn't be 'best friends' with Harriet. The other reason was that Harriet kept nothing from Bud, and Bud all but worshiped Harm. Mac knew that Harriet would never intentionally hurt her or Harm, but if something were to be misunderstood, and Harriet told Bud in a way that tarnished Harm's hero status with Bud…it wasn't something that she was willing to risk.

Mac could talk to Harm about most things, but perhaps, for the purpose of finding a friendly ear to discuss her fight with infertility, it was time to investigate joining one of the support groups that her doctor had suggested.

An unfamiliar voice pulled Mac from her thoughts. "Sturgis said that you got married last year, Harm, but he didn't say that you'd married Diane. After all these years, what finally won you over, Diane?" the stranger asked Mac as he looked at her.

The familiar face, for whom Harm had acquired a name from the place card in front of him, was addressing them. "Diane was killed some years back," Harm hurriedly explained. This is my wife, Sarah." Unlike times in the past, there was no hesitation in his introduction. "Mac, this is John Lucas, Sturgis' roommate and best friend during our Academy days."

The man was embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Harm. She just looks so much like her. I'm sorry," the man repeated, stuttering out the last apology to Mac.

"I'm aware of the resemblance, so I understand your confusion. No apology necessary," Mac offered.

Trying to leave the identity confusion behind, Mac looked at Harm and said, "I thought Sturgis was your roommate."

"I was his roommate, but we were all company mates," John explained. "Keeter was Harm's roommate. Sturgis and Harm, here, met at the brigade boxing finals."

"Is he still telling people that I sucker-punched him because his ego can't handle the fact that I beat him fair and square?" Harm asked.

"I believe he is," John replied.

The men chuckled.

A woman was approaching John. "Here comes my better half," John said with a smile as he held out his arm as his wife came to stand by his side. "This is my wife, Tina."

The two couples spoke briefly until John excused himself and his wife to go to get a drink from the cash bar.

As soon as the couple had taken a few steps away from them, Harm, who had now had his memory jogged, muttered to Mac, "I thought that his wife's name was Betty."

"Maybe she's his second wife," Mac said with a smile.

"Knowing John, she could well be," Harm replied with a grin of his own.

Once he was sure that there were no other Academy mates around them, Harm put his hand on Mac's arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about how awkward this might be for you if some of our Academy buddies were here."

Mac put her hand on top of his and gave it a light pat. "I'm glad that I knew about her, or it would've made me wonder if you'd married me only because I look like her," Mac said with a grin. That let Harm breathe again. She wasn't angry with him. "The cards on my left are for Bud and Harriet. Do you see any names on the other cards that are old Academy buddies?"

"The only one I know, other than John, is for Jack Keeter and guest, the two spaces to my right."

"Do you think that he's actually going to be here, then?" Mac asked.

"It is an RSVP event, so I'd think that his name would be here only if he were coming."

Harm hadn't removed his hand from Mac's arm. "If you don't want to stay, I understand."

"Harm, it's okay." Her hand came back to rest on his. "Since we're among the honored to sit at the table with the bride and groom, it would be rude for us to leave before having dinner and celebrating their happiness. I'd like to talk to Harriet some more, and you want to see Keeter, so we're staying. I'm okay."

"If you change your mind, you give me the word, and we're out of here."

Mac nodded and kissed his cheek.

Harm wasn't going to let her go unrewarded for her efforts to make the best of the evening, so he learned in and placed his lips on hers. The kiss had barely begun when a familiar voice boomed from several feet behind them.

"Please, would you two get a room?"

Harm would've known that voice anywhere. He pulled away from Mac and stood to greet his oldest friend, who had a blonde woman on his arm. "Well, if it isn't Jack Keeter, as I live and breathe. Should I ask how the hell you've been or where the hell you've been first?" Harm asked as the two men shook hands.

Keeter snorted, knowing that one answer would lead to the answer of the other. Keeter looked at Mac. "How do you put up with this guy's lack of manners?"

Mac stood and smiled. "Some days are easier than others."

Harm, realizing that he'd gotten so wrapped up in seeing Keeter that he'd failed to let him introduce his date, said, "I'm sorry. I was preoccupied with why my best friend couldn't be found for my wedding, but he shows up for this one. I've recovered my manners now, so allow me to introduce myself. I'm Harmon Rabb, but my friends call me Harm, and this is my wife, Sarah," Harm said to the woman standing next to Keeter.

"Sarah, I think that name suits a pretty woman such as yourself much better than Mac," Keeter said before reaching for the arm of the woman standing next to him. "Harm, Mac, this is Linda."

After shaking hands after the introductions, there was little time to have a conversation because the room lights dimmed and everyone became quiet for the grand entrance of the newlywed couple.

**DURING DINNER **

John Lucas may have demonstrated a proper level of decorum at the Academy, but it wasn't in his demeanor tonight. As the bowls of the first course of dinner were being emptied, he addressed Sturgis.

"I came in town a day early to make sure that I made it to the bachelor party, and you didn't have one. I can't tell you how disappointed I was." His wife looked embarrassed, but she didn't say a word. She simply lifted her spoon to her mouth and finished the last of her soup.

"I was going to plan something, but Sturgis insisted that he'd much rather celebrate with everyone at the reception than have a guy's night only," Sturgis' father replied in defense of his apparent neglect as the best man in arranging such a pre-wedding event.

"No offense, sir, but I don't think that you'd have planned my kind of bachelor party," John retorted.

"I'm sure that it would have been nice, sir," Bud said, trying to deflect the obnoxiousness of Lucas' statement.

"What would you know about having a good time? You look like an altar boy," John replied with a smirk.

"I wouldn't be so quick to judge. We all got arrested at Bud's bachelor party, so there's probably some unofficial rule that says that members of JAG stationed at HQ can't have a bachelor party," Harm said with a grin as he looked at Mac, who just shook her head and grinned as she remembered having to bail them all out of jail, including Admiral Chegwidden.

John Lucas gave Bud a look of new-found respect, and Bud felt more macho all of a sudden.

Not wanting to have the wedding spoiled by a drunken friend, it was General Cresswell who stood to get the festivities centered back on the bride and groom. "If no one has any objections, I'd like to make a toast."

"I've been a happily married man for many years..." He looked adoringly down at his wife before returning to his toast. "...and we hope that, in your life together, you'll be as happy as we are because, if you are, you'll have a wonderful life."

"Thank you, General," Sturgis replied as everyone lifted their glasses to toast the couple.

Between the general's toast and the arrival of the second course, the tension dissipated.

As the second course was being cleared away, Harm, who'd been keeping an eye on Mr. Lucas, decided that, since John was still drinking, not allowing another lull in the conversation would be beneficial to keeping the evening pleasant for everyone.

Harm didn't have to do more than stand to get people to notice him and, when he reached for his glass, the others did likewise. "I'd like to propose a toast to the guests of honor." Harm paused. "May the joy that you feel this evening be with you always and, if you should ever face difficulties in your marriage, remember the happiness that your union has brought to you and what your life was like before you had each other, and you'll weather any adversity. May your marriage last 'til the end of time."

Sturgis was feeling good and knew that Harm being there was a sign that the problems of the past were exactly that, in the past. So he responded to Harm in jest. "Did everyone hear that? I didn't think that I'd ever live to see the day that Harmon Rabb would be a proponent of marriage."

With a crooked smile on his face, Harm replied, "I didn't think that I'd ever see that day either, but when you're in love with a wonderful lady, it changes your mind." Harm then looked into his wife's eyes.

Mac's body tingled under Harm's gaze. The men who'd passed through her life had called her a lot of things over the years, but never a lady. Well, Mic had called her one indirectly, saying that she was like his mother, 'a special lady,' but Harm had said it directly and he'd said it in front of a room full of people. She subconsciously sat up a little straighter as the feeling of being Harm's special lady filled her heart.

**AFTER DINNER **

As the last of the dinner dishes were being cleared, Chaplain Turner took the opportunity to toast his son and new daughter-in-law.

After the toast, instead of taking a drink, Chaplain Turner embraced his son. When he next embraced his new daughter-in-law, he whispered to her, "Welcome to the family."

Going unnoticed by most, the wedding planner waved at the newlyweds and then tapped her index finger on the face of her watch, letting them know that it was time for them to excuse themselves from the table in order to take their places for their first dance.

The lights dimmed in the dining room, causing the guests to become quiet with anticipation of what was to take place next. It took only a few moments for those sitting closest to the partition in the room to notice that it began to move.

After the room divider was parted by about half the width of the room, a voice seemingly coming from above announced, Commander and Mrs. Sturgis Turner will now have their first dance as husband and wife. The announcement ended, and soft lights came up on the newlyweds in the center of the dance floor, which was in the adjoining room. The band on a platform at the back of the other half of the room began to play, and the newlyweds began their first dance.

As everyone watched the happy couple, Keeter turned to Harm and whispered, "Harm, let's go get a drink from the bar."

Something in Keeter's voice and demeanor told Harm that it wasn't just a drink that he was after. He then turned to Mac to excuse himself and told her that he'd be back in a few minutes.

Harm and Keeter made the trip to the cash bar, giving the two men only a few minutes to talk without the women around, and Keeter didn't waste any time in getting to the point. As they stood waiting for their drink order to be filled, Keeter had a question for Harm.

"Harm, what happened to that apartment of yours here in Washington when you transferred out?"

"Mac didn't want me to get rid of it at first, so I still have the place. I should probably try to sell it, but I haven't done anything about it yet."

"I was only asking because I wondered if you'd rent it to me for a while," Keeter explained.

"It'll cost you," Harm said with a grin.

"I wasn't expecting you to let me have it rent free," Keeter responded with a chuckle.

"I know that, but it's going to cost you more than money. I want the story about why I couldn't find you for my wedding and if the woman you brought with you tonight, off whom you can't seem to take your eyes, had anything to do with it."

"Okay, deal, but not here. After they cut the cake and make a final toast, I'll take Linda home. If you can meet me at the apartment after that, I'll fill you in."

"Oh, if you're ready to talk, I'll be there."

During a dance with Mac, Harm told her that Keeter wanted to rent his old apartment and that he was going to meet him there later that night to talk about it and to find out where he'd been when he'd tried to find him for their wedding. Mac then told Harm that she'd call the Roberts' house to check on Ty and tell him good night from both of them.

The problem with a late afternoon wedding and an hour commute to the reception location is that, once dinner is over, the evening burns away quickly, and the guests with children or who've traveled from other time zones are starting to get tired and restless, but for Harm, it was his curiosity about what was going on with his friend that had him eager to leave the reception.

Around 2000, the cake was cut. After the traditional exchange of cake had taken place between the bride and groom, Sturgis put his arm around his new wife and made the following speech.

"Today starts a new chapter in my life. I wanted to open this new chapter by getting in touch with old friends while making new ones. Here's to our family and friends who've gathered here today to witness the ceremony of our commitment to each other and to share in our joy. Today, I also make a pledge to do a better job of keeping in touch with friends, both old and new, to do my share to make this a better world and, overall, to be a better person, because this woman deserves for me to be the best man that I can be."

The bride gave the groom a sweet kiss while the guests applauded. When the applause faded, it was Varese who spoke.

"We'd like to thank all of you for coming and, without further ado, everyone please come and get some cake."

With the cake cut and the 'thank you for coming speech' completed, it seemed like the right time for those ready to leave to start making their rounds to say their good nights.

Keeter knew very few people who were present, so once he'd said his good nights to those few, he left to take Linda home.

Harm and Mac made the rest of their rounds, including saying good night and verifying the pickup time for Ty with Bud and Harriet before they left.


	111. Chapter 111

**PART FOUR – Friends Discuss Love**

**SUNDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2006**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

**JUST AFTER MIDNIGHT**

Harm unlocked the door and entered his old apartment. Mac was right behind him, and the musty smell of an apartment that had been locked up for months hit their nostrils about the same time.

"Do you think that we should open a window?" Mac asked.

"Have you been in California that long? It's late October in Washington. Opening a window will make the place an icebox," he said teasingly. "I'll turn on the heat. Circulating the air should help get rid of the musty smell, and it comes with the benefit that we won't have to sit around in our coats."

He moved to the thermostat on the wall.

"Harm..." He heard a hesitation in her voice. "...you didn't cancel our hotel reservations when we found out that we were going to be without kids tonight, did you?"

"No, I didn't. I guess I should have. We could stay here tonight since it's just the two of us."

"I think it's a good idea that you didn't."

Harm was puzzled by her response. "What makes you say that?"

"I just thought that, since you haven't spoken to Keeter for a couple of years, the two of you might have lots of things to talk about, and one of us should get some sleep. Why don't I go check into the hotel? You can call me, and I'll come back to get you when you and Keeter are all talked out."

"If you're really okay with it, make sure that the front desk knows that I'm coming and that I'll need a key. I'll take a cab to the hotel after Keeter and I get caught up so you can go ahead and turn in."

"I don't need to hear any more Academy stories tonight. You have a good time, and I'll see you when you get in," Mac said with a smile.

She then moved to him and gave him a kiss that made him want to change his mind and go with her to the hotel or move her to the bedroom here, but his curiosity about his friend's whereabouts won out, even though it was a close call.

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

The heating unit hadn't had time to have much effect on the cold in the place or in circulating enough air to rid the place of the musty smell when, ten minutes after Mac had left, Keeter arrived with a six pack of beer and something on his mind.

Harm and Keeter each twisted off the cap of a beer and sat down in the chairs from Mac's old apartment that had been left behind in the move.

The two men, groomed by different events in their lives, weren't the kind to open up, not even with each other. They needed sort of a warm up period before getting into what was on their minds.

They sat in comfortable silence, both men knowing that they'd get to talking eventually. They took a few swallows from the beers that they'd opened before either spoke about something that would ease them towards a more meaningful conversation.

Finally, Harm offered, "I didn't think about mentioning it in front of Sturgis, the long distance runner, but I did my first triathlon event two weeks ago. I've been training since almost the moment I got to San Diego for the run, swim and bike ride. I did pretty well for a first-timer. The guy I trained with did better, but he's also less than half my age."

"If I had a hot wife like yours, I'd do crazy things to keep in shape for her, too," Keeter said with a wink and a smile, shaking his head at his friend.

"That woman who you had on your arm was pretty easy on the eyes, herself."

Keeter wasn't quite ready to talk about Linda yet, so he sidestepped the topic by talking about someone else.

"Didn't Turner's roommate, Lucas, marry just a day or so after we graduated from the Academy?" Keeter asked.

"Yeah."

"So he was the first one to get married."

"Yeah," Harm replied as he took another gulp of his beer.

"His wife sure has aged better than he has," Keeter commented.

"Not the same wife. Mac and Tina chatted for a few minutes after dinner. She's the second Mrs. Lucas. His first wife was Betty, a girl who worked at a café in town that he met during our last year at the Academy."

"If one out of two marriages end in divorce, do you think that it'll be yours or Turner's that'll meet that fate?"

"I think we're both safe and that there'll be a third Mrs. Lucas," Harm responded with a grin.

Both men laughed, and then Keeter offered up his take on the situation.

"I would've picked you for sinking. I think that Mac is more woman than you can handle," Keeter said with a chuckle.

Harm knew that he was being teased by his friend and fellow flyer, so it was only natural for his face to break out with the smirk of his fighter jock persona that came so easily to him. "Maybe, but I'm having a hell of a good time trying," he said as he lifted his bottle of beer.

"To the Marine who was woman enough to take down the Navy," Keeter offered as a toast.

The two men's glass bottles clinked together before they took a drink. When Keeter lowered his bottle from his lips, his face took on a look of seriousness.

"So you're a believer in marriage now."

Harm smiled. "With the right woman, it's better than anything you can imagine."

Keeter did his best impression of Harm raising his eyebrow. "And Mac's the right woman for you?"

"Why do you seem so surprised?"

Keeter shrugged. "I always saw you with a different type of woman. You know, one who was more….stay at home. I guess that would be the way to put it. You know, like your mom was before she started that gallery."

Harm chuckled. "I once believed that the right woman for me would be one who'd be waiting for me when I returned from duty. She'd be happy staying at home and taking care of me and our children

"But that isn't what you've got. Turner told me that she has her own command and was promoted to colonel. So why Mac? What changed?"

"It turns out that sometimes the type you see yourself with isn't the right type. It took a failed relationship with what I thought was the 'right type' to realize that the idea of that kind of woman was great, but she wasn't really what I wanted, or maybe what I needed would be a better way to put it."

"So why is Mac the right one for you? I mean, beside the obvious, that she's a good looking woman."

"Too many reasons to list if I'm going to get back to California tomorrow." Harm sighed and took another gulp of his beer. "What about that woman on your arm this evening? Is she the reason why you couldn't be found to come to my wedding?"

"I heard your name so I'm sure that you heard mine around the hallowed halls of the company, so you know that I can't give you any details. Let's just say that I was out of touch and leave it at that. When I got back to civilization, I got your messages, but I'd missed the wedding. Before I had a chance to catch my breath, let alone make any calls to anyone, I was on my away out of the country again on what would turn out to be a life changing assignment."

"So that's how you met Linda. I would never have pegged her for a company girl," Harm said, shaking his head.

"She isn't. I crashed and burned on that assignment. I woke up in a hospital in Germany after being in a coma for three weeks, barely able to move. I was feeling pretty down and, on my second day of being back in the conscious world, Linda came into the room to change my IV bag. She's a navy nurse. I don't know what happened, but the second I saw her, I felt better. We talked, and I didn't know what it was, but I wanted to know more about her...but you know my luck with women. She was on her last couple of days of duty there. She had orders, transferring her to another hospital. She left, and I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. A week after she and I said our goodbyes in Germany, I was labeled healthy enough for transfer to Bethesda to complete physical therapy."

Keeter had been talking too long and needed to wet his whistle, so he paused to take a drink of his beer and, after downing the last bit of it, he reached for another. He offered the first one that he picked up to Harm, which he accepted, and then he reached for another and began to speak again as he grasped the cap to open it.

"I'd been at Bethesda for four days and was having a bad time at rehab when I heard 'You'd better start working a little harder, Jack, because after all your flirting, I'm expecting you to take me to dinner when you get out of here.' That was eight weeks ago. Her orders had transferred her to Bethesda. We've been out at least twice a week since my release from Bethesda four weeks ago."

"That's why you want the place…to be close to her."

"Yeah, I've been staying at one of those long-stay hotels, but I think I'll be staying longer than I'd expected, so I'm looking for something that I can settle into for the long haul. Okay, now that I've spilled my guts, talk me out of it. Tell me that she's too young for me…there's a ten year age difference between us. Tell me that she'll break my heart. Tell me that I'm crazy. Tell me something, anything."

"How's your recovery?"

"I'll live, but I'm never going to get my wings back. I'm thinking that it's probably time to retire, but I haven't made any real decision about that."

"I know better than anyone that, when you're forced out of your bird, it's a hard pill to swallow. Are you doing okay?" Harm asked with empathy.

"Surprisingly, I'm relieved." Keeter paused, seemingly to gather his thoughts.

"That feeling have anything to do with Linda?" Harm asked quietly.

Keeter was blushing as he responded. "I'd say that she has everything to do with it."

"Buddy, I hate to tell you this, but you've got it bad," Harm said with a chuckle

"I'm curious, so I have to ask. Why don't you think that you and Mac will end up in divorce court?"

"We've had our struggles in the past. We've drifted apart. We've intentionally kept our distance from each other, but no matter the reason or the length of separation, we always ended up back together. Once we got past fighting it, we found that we complement each other's good qualities and we off-set or compensate for each other's faults. Together, we make a more complete whole. We simply belong together."

"So, oh great wizard of relationships, any advice for your old buddy?"

"You've changed over the years, so don't let what you thought you needed or wanted be your guide...and my last piece of advice, don't spend every waking minute analyzing why you love her or questioning if it'll work. I did that for years, and all I did was waste a lot of time. If she's the one for you, tell her and take it from there."

"Is it that you're growing older or has marrying Mac made you wiser?" Keeter teased before lifting his beer to his lips for another swallow.

They fell silent once more as they took several sips of beer, the quiet giving Keeter time to let the advice from his friend sink in.

The silence didn't last long before Keeter had another question. "The last time I talked to you was around Christmas a couple of years ago. You were trying to get guardianship of a young girl. How did that go?"

"I got guardianship, but then Mattie reconciled with her father a few months later. Then about a year and a half ago, she was involved in a collision of two small planes on a runway and was badly injured. Her father bailed on her for a bottle of booze, and I sought custody. Mac and I were granted custody about the time that we were married. She flew back here with us this trip, but she's visiting her father in rehab. We'll pick her up in the morning on our way to the airport."

"Are you okay with her going back to her father again?"

"I don't like it, but I don't have much say in it. She'll be eighteen in a few weeks and she'll be able to go wherever she wants." The room was taking on a somber tone, and Harm didn't want to get pulled down into dwelling on what may or may not be happening with Mattie, so he stopped talking, but Keeter's next comment led to the start of a conversation that Harm was very uncomfortable in having.

"You've been married for more than a year now. I always pictured you with kids, so I'm surprised that you and Mac don't already have one...or at least a baby Rabb on the way."

Harm cringed inside, but he thought that he'd outwardly covered by reaching for his wallet. "We've been in the same city for only the last seven months, but that doesn't mean that we've been wasting time starting a family." Harm flicked his wallet open to show him a picture. "This picture was taken as a Mother's Day gift for Mac this year."

Keeter glanced at the picture before speaking. "Since that isn't Mac, I'm guessing that the girl is Mattie, and I'd know you're ugly mug anywhere, but who's the boy?"

"His name is Tyler MacKenzie Rabb. His adoption was final just a couple of days before our first anniversary, but we got the papers on our anniversary after we returned from our anniversary trip."

"Cute kid, but I didn't picture you as the adoption type. One too many punch-outs for you, old man, so you can't get the job done?" Keeter said, flipping the wallet closed with one hand while slugging Harm in the arm in a typical schoolboy playground move.

"Something like that," Harm replied.

Harm's flinch when Keeter mentioned a baby Rabb and Harm's lack of arrogant retort to his jab about his manhood didn't go unnoticed by Keeter. He'd unburdened himself by bending his friend's ear about Linda. If his friend had something on his mind, he'd be damned if he was going to let him keep it bottled up if he was ready to talk.

"It isn't you. It's Mac who has the problem, isn't it?" Keeter asked tentatively.

Harm only nodded. He couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.

"There isn't any chance?" Keeter asked, seeking to understand the level of pain that his friend was in.

"The doctor estimates about a ten percent chance right now, but it's a slippery slope for a variety of reasons, and our chances diminish a little with each passing month."

"But you're seeing someone and trying so it could happen, right?" Keeter was asking a question, but it came out as more of a statement of support that there was still hope.

Harm's reply came out flat and filled with sadness. "Yeah, it could happen."

The two men sat in silence for a while until Harm finally spoke up.

"There isn't anything that she could've done differently," Harm said slowly.

"I take it you think that there's something that you at least think that you could have done differently."

Harm only nodded at first, but quickly followed with, "If I'd told her sooner that I was in love with her, we might have a baby by now."

"That's why you warned me not to analyze and question for too long before I talk to Linda about how I feel about her."

"Take it from me, if you think that she's the one and you wait, at some point, you'll regret waiting. It might be that she gets tired of waiting and gives up on you ever figuring it out or something else, but, at some point, you'll regret it."

Harm suddenly felt guilty. It was like he'd betrayed Mac by talking about this issue with someone. "Listen, Jack, I shouldn't have said anything. This is a personal struggle. Mac's very touchy about the subject, and I don't want her to be hurt by the fact that I've talked to you about it."

"Don't worry about it. I just unloaded some personal stuff on you. You've always kept my secrets. I'll keep yours, Buddy." Jack paused. "I won't say a word to anyone, and if you need to talk some more, you know where to find me now, so call anytime."

The room fell silent again. These were men who didn't open up to anyone very often, and they'd just unloaded a lot of things in a fairly short span of time, so it was time to take a breather.

After a few minutes, Keeter broke the silence. "Didn't you just click over another birthday a couple of days ago, old man?" Keeter asked, the playful tone of friendly banter back in his voice.

"I did, but birthdays aren't so bad when you have a family. Mac cooked dinner and, so that I'd have the perfect birthday cake, she bought one from the bakery, and we had a quiet evening at home."

"No presents? That stinks."

"I got presents. Mattie's getting to be a pretty good photographer, so she gave me a framed picture that she took of me crossing the finish line at the triathlon. She also added more songs to the iPod that they gave me for Father's Day, so I'd have new music to train to. Tyler got me a pen and pencil set with my name engraved on them."

"Mac didn't get you anything?"

Harm's mind had a momentary flashback to this past Wednesday after dinner when everyone had gone to bed. In their room, Mac had revealed her present to him...her in a new, pink, silk and lace teddy. The edges of Harm's mouth began to curl automatically when he remembered the comment that Mac had made after they were tangled together in the sheets and each other after making love. "I guess you didn't like your present since you didn't waste any time getting me out of it, or is it that you just think that it looks better on the floor?"

Harm was silent too long, giving Keeter time to assess what kind of present Harm had received. "I get it. Her present to you was that she made sure that you didn't feel old."

The look that came over Harm's face was like a boy who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner, which made Jack Keeter let out a belly laugh.

Harm couldn't fight the truth, so he merely tried to leave the subject behind. "I should be calling it a night. We have to pick up Tyler from one place and Mattie from another before we head to the airport in Roanoke, so let's check to see if the appliances still work before I take off."

So the men got up and turned on the refrigerator, stove and dishwasher while finishing up their second beer. After talking about the terms of a rental agreement, Jack Keeter agreed to a six month lease, and Harm turned over his key. Keeter would move his stuff over in the morning, but he was looking forward to passing out on the bed here tonight.

They'd had a good visit, and both men felt better, but it was getting late and, with business out of the way, they needed to call it a night. Harm made the first move by calling for a cab to pick him up.

In the minutes during which they waited for the cab to arrive, Keeter promised to keep better in touch now that he was more stationary, and Harm told Keeter that, if he got tired of the cold to come to see him in sunny Southern California.

It was hard to bring the visit with his oldest friend to a close, but the cab was waiting and so was Mac. His wife was in a hotel room sleeping alone, so the thought of her waiting for him made it easier. After a manly hug, Harm was out the door and on his way down to his waiting cab.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

It was just after midnight when Harm climbed into bed behind his wife. In her sleep, she'd sensed his presence in the room and wasn't alarmed when she felt his weight on the bed. He kissed her on the cheek before placing his body as close to hers as he could and wrapping his arm around her waist, but, to his surprise, she spoke.

"Did he take the place?"

"Yes, for six months. He's taking it to be near the woman who he was with tonight. She's a Navy nurse stationed at Bethesda."

"How'd he meet her?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later. Let's get some sleep so we can get on the road in the morning, pick up everyone and head home."

Mac was rubbing her hand along Harm's arm that was curled around her waist. We could get a little less sleep and take a nap on the plane," she said in a seductive purr.

She had her ways to get to him, whether it was for him to consent to putting decorative pillows in his den or to go shopping at the mall for clothes for someone in the family other than himself, and she did it all without making him feel manipulated or less of a man, but that voice was the one that went into his ears and straight down to his groin. Yes, she was definitely the one for him.

They made love and got a few hours of sleep before waking to get on the road.

A FEW HOURS LATER

They picked up Tyler from Bud and Harriet and got a repeat of the glowing report that Mac had received last night when she'd called from the reception to check on him and say good night. Harriet told them how well he'd gotten along with the other children and how the nanny had said what a big help he'd been with their young twins.

They picked up Mattie, who obviously had something on her mind. In the car on the way to the airport, she told them only that her father had wanted to talk to her about selling Grace Aviation.

On the plane, Mattie sat next to Mac and, before they'd landed in San Diego, she'd expressed her concern that her father wasn't quite himself and was worried that he hadn't gone into rehab because of a desire to quit drinking, but because his health had demanded it.

As the plane made its way across the sky, Harm realized that he and Mac had been away from home separately and together a lot in recent months, and he was looking forward to having Thanksgiving at home in San Diego.


	112. Chapter 112

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN - FOR LOVE OR MONEY**

**PART ONE **

**FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2006**

**EN ROUTE HOME**

**AFTER WWFC MEETING **

**LATE EVENING**

**MAC'S POV**

I'm headed towards home, feeling guilty that I didn't want Harm to come with me this evening.

An observation that my doctor made last month about Harm is the reason why I didn't want him to accompany me.

********FLASHBACK TO OCTOBER********

Harm had left the exam room to wait for me in the waiting room while I dressed when Dr. Daniels casually asked, "How are you doing?"

Being in the moment, I thought only of my current discomfort from the exam that she'd just performed. "I'm okay."

"Any problems sleeping?"

"Not recently."

"Are you eating regularly?"

"I try. I get busy at work sometimes and skip lunch now and then. I'm sure you understand how that is, trying to keep up with your patients." I say the latter defensively.

Dr. Daniels ignores my tone and continues questioning. "How is your work load right now?"

"Lighter than it's been since we started the JLS office."

"Lighter, meaning that you're still under a lot of pressure."

"No one's life is stress free. I have some like everyone else, but nothing that I can't handle."

"Sarah, I'm not saying that you can't mentally handle the stress, but stress and anxiety, not getting the proper amount of sleep and not eating right such as skipping meals can all manifest into physical changes that could compromise your ability to get pregnant or have a healthy baby."

"So I'll make sure that I eat. I'll follow any kind of schedule that you give me. I'll -"

Dr. Daniels cuts me off by patting my arm. "There's no magic formula, but I'm trying to determine if there are changes that you can make that will help maximize our efforts."

"Like reducing my stress?"

"Yes, at least certain kinds of stress. People are different. Some people thrive on the stress of battle, but have a meltdown if they can't comfort their sick child."

'Or one who they think is sick,' I recall, as the memory of how worried Harm was about Ty on the yacht over the Memorial Day weekend comes to mind, which gives me a clearer understanding of what she means.

"Maybe the demands of command and the courtroom aren't stressful, but trying to have a baby is for you. Harm asks a lot of questions. I think that he's doing it to be supportive, but he does get a little enthusiastic in his search for information, and today it occurred to me that maybe his speaking up is overshadowing what you'd like to ask or say." She offers me a bright smile. "I'm sure that you and Harm discuss treatments, procedures and options, but do you discuss how you feel about all of this? Because, if you aren't talking to Harm, then think about joining a support group like I suggested when we had our first consultation. I think it's important for you to realize that you aren't alone."

"I don't know. I'm doing better now that things are more settled at home and my body got a break when we took September off."

"Promise me that you'll consider it. I think you'd be surprised at how much you're carrying around that you won't even realize until you talk to someone, and you might be more comfortable doing that with someone who can understand what you're feeling because they're living through it, too."

"I promise to give going to a support group some serious thought," I tell her.

*********END FLASHBACK*********

I think that my apprehension about going to a group meeting came from attending an AA meeting or two in the past. I didn't like admitting my weakness in front of a room full of strangers then and I certainly didn't want to have to stand up and say, "My name is Sarah and I'm here because endometriosis has reduced my chances of becoming pregnant."

I don't know if it was the doctor's suggestion, the lack of a viable egg last month or the fact that I couldn't tell Harriet Roberts, one of the people to whom I feel closest. No matter from where the final push came, I decided on the flight back to San Diego after attending Turner's wedding that it was time that I talked to someone and that a support group seemed less clinical than seeing a shrink.

We flew back on Sunday and, the next day, I took the pamphlet out of my night stand and made a few calls. That night, I told Harm that I wanted to attend a support group. He was very supportive, but when I told him that I wanted to go alone, at least the first time to see what it was like, I saw the hurt in his eyes, though he didn't say a word and, tonight, I attended my first meeting of the WWFC – Women With Fertility Concerns - a local group of women, men and couples who have some type of compromised fertility.

**RABB HOME **

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**LATE EVENING**

I enter our bedroom, wondering how Harm will act. He's known that I was going to the meeting all week, but that doesn't mean that he was happy about it. I shouldn't say that. I think that he was just upset that I didn't want him to come with me.

I open the bedroom door, and he's awake and reading a book, which he closes the second he sees me. "How was it?"

"I guess the best way to describe it was that it wasn't like I expected."

"If I made some tea while you get ready for bed, will you tell me about it?"

"I'd like that," I say, happy that, even if he doesn't understand why I felt that I needed to go alone, he isn't angry with me.

**A LITTLE LATER **

I had time to go check on Ty, change and get into bed before Harm came in with two mugs of tea. After offering one mug to me, he got into bed with his mug of tea and sat silently, waiting for me to begin. I took a few sips of my tea before starting at the beginning.

"I got tied up at work so I ran a little late. I got there in time to get a cup of punch and have a seat before they started the meeting. The woman hosting tonight welcomed everyone. She announced that the next meeting, which was scheduled on the 17th, is being moved to the 18th so that more members can join in a potluck lunch/baby shower for Sheila. It was very informal, really."

"Who's Sheila?" Harm asked.

"I don't know her, but the hostess said that she saw a few new faces, so she explained that Sheila was what they like to call a success or hope story. After two years with the group and almost three years of trying, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week."

"So, are you going to go to the baby shower?

"I thought that, if you wanted to, _we'd_ go to the baby shower."

I saw a hint of relief in Harm's eyes at the news that I wanted him to go with me. "You're sure that it's okay if I go?"

"I am. That's why I'm so late. Peggy told me that meetings are usually between an hour and ninety minutes long."

"Who's Peggy?"

"I told you that I got there close to the start of the meeting, so I didn't meet anyone before the meeting, but immediately following the meeting, the women on each side of where I was seated introduced themselves. One of them waved at the hostess for the evening, and she came over and introduced herself. When I was on my way out, I stopped to get my keys out of my purse and, when I looked up, there was this woman about my height with red hair and wearing a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. She said to me, "I know that look. Your first meeting, right? Of course I said yes, and then Peggy introduced herself. I don't know what it was about her, but we had a connection of some kind. We started talking and, when they started to shut off the lights on us, she asked if I had time to grab a cup of coffee. I said, "At this time of day, a chocolate sundae would work for me better. She laughed and said that she thought that tonight was the start of a wonderful friendship."

"And over hot fudge sundaes, you found out that it's okay for me to go with you on the 18th?" he asks teasingly.

"I learned a lot about the group. For instance, the group tonight was a nice turnout. There are roughly forty members, but Peggy said that she didn't think that there had ever been a time when everyone had showed up at one meeting. The members consist of men and women and some are couples. The group normally meets every other Friday evening, but they schedule activities or parties about once a quarter that sometimes replace a meeting, like Sheila's baby shower, and sometimes it's just an extra day to see each other. The meeting is held at the same place every time, but the host/hostess changes every month. She also said that hosting is easy since you're just in charge of making sure that there are refreshments, starting the meeting on time and making any announcements."

"So you think that you'll be going to these meetings to see more of Peggy?"

"I'm going to see more of Peggy either way. We were going to have lunch on Monday, but because of my appointment to get my eggs harvested, we made it for Tuesday. I don't know if the bi-monthly meeting is right for me, but tonight was a good experience."

"Because you got to meet Peggy?"

"Yes, and, over all, I enjoyed it. I didn't say anything at the meeting, but listening to some of those women… One woman has been trying to have a baby for five years. My logical mind knew that I wasn't the only woman in the world with fertility issues, but my emotional side was having trouble listening. Now, after hearing the real life stories of others, I know that, not only am I not the only woman with a problem, but that my feelings are shared by women like me to some degree or other. It gives me a sense of normality."

"You could talk to me about how you're feeling." There's hurt in his eyes again.

I reach for his hand. "I'm sorry, but I can't, not about this, at least not yet."

He kisses my cheek. "If or when you're ready, you know where to find me."

I lift his hand to my lips and kiss the back of it. "I know, big lump to my right," I say with a grin.

He smiles. "That's me."

"Harm, you know that you can talk to me about how you feel about all of this if you want or need to, right?"

"Yeah, I know," he says as he leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

He extends his arm towards his night stand, sets down his tea mug and turns off the light.

"You know what I want?" he asks.

"I'm afraid you can't have it. I'm scheduled for an egg harvest on Monday, remember?"

"Tsk, tsk, Mrs. Rabb, you have a one track mind. I want just to hold you."

I put my mug on my night stand, turn off my light and move towards him. "It's hard not to think about making love when I'm not able to and I'm married to a hunk like you."

Without any more words spoken, I move to his side, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him as we fall asleep.

**SATURDAY, ****NOVEMBER ****11, 2006**

**MERY HOSPITAL **

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

**ICU DEPARTMENT **

**1100**

I'm sitting here across from the nurses' station in the ICU department, clutching my purse in my lap, a sign of my unsettled nerves while I'm waiting for Peggy's husband. I want to find out from him what I can't from the nurse because I'm not family.

I called her cell phone after my family had finished breakfast this morning to see if she could have lunch today. When the call was picked up, the hello on the other end wasn't her, but another young woman.

That's how I found out that my new friend was in the hospital. I knew that she wasn't feeling well at lunch yesterday, but it surprised me that she'd ended up here.

I know her husband and daughter's names from conversations over the two lunches that we've had this week, but I've never met them. I probably shouldn't be here. I'm headed to the elevators to leave, but my thoughts are still on my new friend, and I return to my seat across from the nurses' station.

Picking someone with whom you can make a close and lasting friendship is like finding Mr. Right. You need to be enough different that there are things to learn from each other, but you have to have some things in common so that you have common ground for a foundation. She and I have great potential for forming a very close and long-lasting friendship.

I'm not leaving until I find out her condition.

I watch the staff and a few patients move about, wondering if I'll know her husband when I see him based on the way that she described him.

I've watched and waited for fifty-eight minutes when I see a man walking towards the nurses' station with slumped shoulders, making his true height hard to judge.

I don't know how I know, but when I see him, I just know that it's him, her husband. I stand and move towards him. "Excuse me, Daniel Knox?" I ask just in case I'm wrong.

"Yes."

The puzzled expression on his face is easy to read. He doesn't know why anyone not in hospital scrubs or a lab coat is asking his name.

"I don't know if your wife has mentioned me to you, but I'm Sarah Rabb. I called Peggy's cell phone this morning to schedule lunch with your wife, and a young woman told me that she was here. I've been waiting for you to see if you'd tell me how she's doing."

"Your name sounds familiar, so I know that she's mentioned you, but I don't know who you are."

"I met her last Friday."

"You met last Friday, you say?" He pauses, searching his mind for the answer. "The newbie at the support group that night ... I owe you a thank you." He offers me a small and very tired smile.

"A thank you?" I ask, puzzled.

"Yes, I don't like to go to those meetings, and Peggy knows it, but I agreed to go once a month. I was supposed to go last Friday, but work kept me from going. When I got home, I was ready to take an earful about missing it, but all she said about me not attending was that I'd lucked out because the next meeting was changed to a lunch and baby shower for Sheila."

He paused and he had a distant look in his eyes. After a moment, he continued, "Since some of the women have problems with conceiving and some with carrying to full term, they don't celebrate when one of them announces that she's pregnant, but they love to celebrate a birth. It's a shame that it doesn't happen very often. I'm sorry. I've veered off topic. Back to the thank you that I owe you. That Friday night, not only did I not get an earful, but she didn't spend the night crying that someone else had had a baby before she had one. She talked about meeting you...and after your lunch on Tuesday, she was excited to have someone with whom she had more in common other than a fertility problem. I owe you a thank you for being her friend."

"The way you say 'being her friend' it doesn't sound like the news is good from the doctors. I know that she wasn't feeling well yesterday. I told her that we could reschedule our lunch, but she said that she wasn't that sick and she wanted to hear all about my visit to the doctor the day before." I pause because the reason for my appointment was an embryo transfer, and that doesn't seem like information that needs to be shared at the moment. "Do they know what's wrong with her?"

"They're pretty sure that she's suffering from some kind of chemical poisoning, but they haven't been able to isolate what kind yet. They want to inspect our house to see if they can find a likely source. They've given her something that seems to be helping, but they'd really like to know the exact chemical. I'm headed to the house now to let them have a look around, and, in the meantime, they're running more tests here to try to identify the toxin." He bowed his head and looked at a spot on the floor. "They aren't sure if she'll make it."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

He takes a deep breath and firms up his stance. "No, but thank you for asking. I need to get going."

I reach into my purse and pull out a business card and a pen. "If you change your mind and I can help in any way..." I scribble our home number down on the back of the card. "...this is where I work, but I put our home number on the back. Call anytime."

**RABB HOME **

**LATER **

When I arrive home, it's still early afternoon. Mattie's at work and Harm has left a note that he and Ty have gone to do the grocery shopping.

I don't know if it's good or bad that I'm alone in the house because it allows me too much time to think.

Ty coming into the house yelling, "Momma, Momma, where are you?" has me pasting on a smile for him, but I'm feeling a little lost at the moment.

Ty and Harm reach the kitchen with grocery bags in hand. "Momma, there you are!"

"Yeah, here I am. Did you guys bring me lots of good things to eat?"

Harm puts the bags that he's carrying on the counter. "Sure did," Harm replies. "Ty, can you do me a favor and go check to make sure that I closed the front door?"

"Sure!" Ty hands off the grocery bag that he's carrying to Harm and flees the room.

"How's your friend?" Harm asks.

"Not good. The doctors think that she's been poisoned. They don't know at the moment if she'll make it or not." Harm wraps his arms around me. "I told her husband to call if I could do anything. I hope that he'll call if her condition changes."

My cocoon of comfort in Harm's arms is short-lived when Ty makes his bubbly return to the kitchen with a happy, "You closed the door, Dad."


	113. Chapter 113

**PART TWO**

**SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2006**

**RABB HOME**

**MAC'S POV**

I tossed and turned for several hours until I finally gave up trying to get to sleep at 0220 when my restlessness caused Harm to stir.

I got out of bed, confidant that I hadn't lied to Harm last night before we went to sleep when he asked me if I was okay because I'd truly thought that I was. However, my inability to get to sleep is proof to me that it's affecting me more than I'd realized.

I tried to finish the book that I've been reading and I tried to look over some reports from work, but the only thing that I managed to do with success is two loads of laundry before it's time to start breakfast.

The family eats together most mornings, but Sunday morning family breakfast has become a tradition in the Rabb house and it isn't complete until my French toast is on the table.

I started a pot of coffee, and the aroma of the brewing coffee has started to fill the air in the kitchen as I stand at the counter, beating the eggs in which to dip the bread. Suddenly, I feel his presence behind me.

I can tell that he has on his running clothes when his body presses against mine. One of his hands sweeps my hair off my shoulder before that same hand joins the other in snaking its way around my waist.

He tucks his head into my neck and places a kiss there.

"Did you get even a few minutes of sleep?" he asks softly.

"I may have nodded off for a few minutes, but nothing restful," I reply.

"I'll call Frank to see if he can handle a few hours of quality time with Ty so that I can take you to the hospital to get an update on your friend," he offers.

He moves from behind me, taking the comforting embrace with him to grab the phone off the wall. I watch him dial the phone, but quickly remember that I have my own task to do.

I've made this breakfast so many times now that I can make it with my eyes closed, and it sort of feels like that's what I'm doing when I hear his voice and I can't remember when I took the bread out of the cabinet.

"There's no answer at the house. I'll stop by the house on my way back from my run to see if anyone's there who can keep him company."

"Who needs company?" Mattie asks in a sleepy voice as she enters the kitchen.

"Ty," Harm replies.

"Why? Where are the two of you going to be?" Mattie questions.

"I'm worried about a friend who's in the hospital. Since I didn't get much sleep last night, Harm wants to take me to the hospital to check on her, but he couldn't reach Frank to keep an eye on Ty."

"I can keep him with me," Mattie offers.

"You're standing date with Paul been postponed this week?" Harm inquires.

"No, but we don't do anything that Ty couldn't come with us. We don't really ever plan what we're going to do before he picks me up, but what we end up doing is going to the mall, having lunch somewhere, and then we usually go to a movie."

"Don't you think that Paul will mind babysitting on your date?" I ask.

"I don't think that he'll mind, but, if he does, I guess Ty will be my date for the day."

I smile. I wish that I'd had that kind of inner strength when I was her age. She's really quite a young woman.

Ty looks so much younger than his seven and a half years when he comes into the kitchen in his pajamas, rubbing his sleepy eyes with his balled-up fists.

"Hey, Buddy," Harm addresses Ty. "You ready for a special treat today?"

Ty drops his fists from his eyes. "What kind of treat?"

"How does a Happy Meal sound?" Mattie asks.

"With a chocolate shake?" Ty's eyes have already grown bigger.

"I think that can be arranged. So what do you say? Do you want to spend the day with me...and Paul if he wants to come?" Mattie asks.

"Really?" Ty is surprised by her invitation. "Can I?" He looks at me and then Harm.

"You may, but you have to have a good breakfast first," I say to him. I turn to look directly at Harm. "Which means that you'd better get moving or you won't be back from your run in time for breakfast."

"Wouldn't want to miss Sunday French toast," he says as he starts to jog towards the back door.

**MERCY HOSPITAL **

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

**ICU DEPARTMENT **

Daniel Knox is pacing in front of the nurses' station when we enter the ICU department. I approach him slowly so as not to startle him and wait until he's turned and is pacing in our direction before I speak.

"Mr. Knox, how is Peggy today?"

His tired eyes focus on me. "She seems better. The doctor is in with her now. If you'd like to stay for a few minutes, you can hear the update with me."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay." I reach back to make contact with Harm who's standing close behind me. When he takes my hand, I give his a little tug. "Mr. Knox, this is my husband, Harmon Rabb."

"Call me Dan," the man says as he extends his hand. He glances in my direction and adds, "Both of you."

"And I'm Harm," he says as they shake hands.

With introductions done, I'm at a loss for words to a man who's obviously very tired and unsure about what the doctor is going to report.

Dan doesn't have much to say to complete strangers either, and his worry and fatigue keeps him from engaging us in polite small talk.

It's Harm who asks questions that I don't feel comfortable asking Dan. "When was the last time you had anything to eat or got any sleep?"

"Something to eat…I had a muffin and coffee from the vending machines downstairs this morning."

I feel Harm's body tense through his hand that I still have in mine and I know that my healthy-eating husband is cringing inside at hearing that this man ate a muffin and drank coffee from a vending machine.

"Now sleep, let's see..." Dan pauses to figure out the time line. "I guess it's been about twenty-four hours, give or take a couple of hours."

It's when Harm makes his next statement that the reason for his tense demeanor becomes clear.

"I've done the hospital ICU wait myself, so I know that you want to be close to her, but you look like you need a couple of hours of sleep. If the doctor comes out and says that your wife is stable, I'll check to see if there's someplace here where you can stow away to get a few hours of rest. I know that you just met us, but we'll stay close and, if anything changes, we'll make sure that someone comes to get you. If they can't find you a place to grab a couple of hours of shut eye, I'll drive you home and bring you back in a couple of hours. My wife will make sure that they call you if anything changes."

My husband's discomfort wasn't with Dan's poor diet choice for breakfast, but rather flashbacks to his own long hours in the hospital, waiting on news about Mattie.

"I'm sure that the two of you have better things to do on a Sunday than hang out at the hospital. So thanks, but -"

"Dan, I know that we've barely met, but your wife and I really hit it off. I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me stay. It would make me feel like I was being a good friend," I say, cutting him off.

He nods and is about to say something when the doctor walks up to us. "Mr. Knox, I have an update for you."

"They're family friends. You can talk in front of them," Dan says, nodding in Harm's and my direction.

"Very well then. I've upgraded your wife's condition from critical to serious. She's showing signs of improvement and she's stable. If she shows continual improvement for the next six hours, I'd say that her chances of making a full recovery from this are very good. We'll just have to wait and see, but I'm hopeful. It's a good thing that the search of your house narrowed the field of chemical poisons for which to test, or we might still be trying to figure out the right course of treatment."

"Thank you, Doctor," Dan replies.

The doctor leaves us, but Dan is overwhelmed and needs to sit down.

"She's going to be okay," Dan utters as he slips down into a chair.

"Yes, she is," I say as I sit next to him in the same chair that I sat in yesterday when I was here.

Harm goes to the nurses' station to inquire about a place for Dan to take a nap while I sit with Dan.

"The doctor said that they were able to narrow down the kind of poison from items they found in your house?" I inquire, not only out of curiosity, but to give Dan and me something to to talk about while we wait on Harm to return.

"Yeah, the police found a few things in the garage like paint thinner and stripper from an old woodworking project that I never finished, and some insecticide that I used back during the fruit fly scare. I don't know what else they took...five or six things. They called the hospital, and the lab here ran tests for those kinds of poisons first…" His voice trailed off. "I don't even know which one it was. I didn't ask."

Harm is back a moment later with news that there's an on-call lounge for doctors that he's been able to convince the head nurse could be used for Dan to rest. Harm has no sooner made the announcement than a portly nurse arrives to show Dan to the on-call room so that he can take a nap.

After the nurse, Harm and I all affirm that we'll make sure that someone lets him know if there's any change, Dan lets the nurse lead him away.

Harm sits beside me and takes my hand.

"It was very nice of you to arrange that for him," I say to him, motioning with a tilt of my head in the direction of Daniel Knox as the nurse leads him away.

"They weren't thrilled with letting him use the room, but once I pointed out that they could be held responsible if he had an accident on the way home because of excessive fatigue, they relented."

"You did good, Sailor," I say as I lean my head on his shoulder.

"You think that you'll be able to get some sleep tonight now that it looks like she's going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so, but something new is bothering me."

"What's that?"

"Dan said that, during a search of their house, the police found some poisons in the garage. The doctors tested for those poisons first. Why were the police conducting a search in the first place? And if the stuff was in the garage, how could she come in contact with enough of it to make her sick when he isn't sick?"

"So you think that the doctors believe that her poisoning wasn't accidental."

"That's what I suspect."

"But you don't think that he's capable of trying to kill her, even though you just met him?"

"Maybe we've been dealing with high-profile criminal cases for too long, and I'm overreacting."

"Counselor, I think that you've come to a logical conclusion based on the known facts, but there may be facts not yet in evidence that could change your assessment and bring you to a different conclusion."

I keep my head on his shoulder but tilt it up so that my next words will be heard by only him. "You know, I find you very sexy when you talk like that."

He offers me a sheepish grin. "I think you're sexy just about every minute of every day."

I blush. "Thanks for staying with me," I say as I settle myself against his shoulder again.

**THREE HOURS LATER **

Daniel Knox flies through the ICU department doors and stops abruptly in front of us.

"The nurse came for me. She's awake. The doctor is waiting for me in her room."

"If you don't mind, we'll stay here until you can give us an update," I tell him.

"Sure, I'll be back as soon as I can."

**SEVENTEEN MINUTES LATER**

Harm has been so patient this morning waiting with me, but I think that we'll be leaving soon when I see Dan heading our way.

"I'm sorry. It's Harm and Sarah, right?"

"Yes, how is she doing?" I ask.

"She's doing much better. The doctor says that, if she continues to do so well in the next couple of hours, she could be in a regular room sometime tomorrow and home a day or two after that." We can see the tears welling up in his eyes, but he's keeping them at bay. "She's going to make it." The crack of his voice hints that he could lose his battle of holding back his tears at any second.

"I know that you want to get back in to see her, but thank you for coming out to give us an update. Will you ask her to give me a call as soon as she feels up to it?" I ask.

"Actually, I told her when I left the room to come out here that you were here. She said to tell you that, when she feels up to it, she'll call to set a date for lunch."

"Tell her that I'll be looking forward to that lunch. We should be going so that you can get back to Peggy." I was going to leave it there, but I can't. "Could I ask you to call and give me her room number after she's transferred to a regular room so that I can stop in to say hello?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

With nothing more that we can do, we leave the hospital for home.

**MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2006**

**MERCY HOSPITAL **

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

**ROOM #231**

**1200**

Dan called my cell at 0955 to tell me that Peggy had been moved to room 231 and was feeling much better. I'd asked if he thought that she was feeling well enough that I could make a brief lunchtime visit. So, here I am.

I enter the room with a small, live plant that I paid too much for because I bought it in the hospital gift shop, but I wanted to conserve time somewhere so that I wouldn't be gone from the office too long.

I'm trying to keep the workload flowing to avoid unnecessary stress, per doctor's orders.

Peggy is without makeup, a look that I haven't seen before, but if not for the IV in her arm, I don't think that anyone would guess that, just yesterday, the doctors weren't sure that she'd survive.

Why is it that, no matter how much you tell yourself that you aren't going to ask someone in the hospital how they're feeling, it's the first or second question that comes out of your mouth?

"Hi, Peggy. I brought you a little something." I lift up the little potted ivy plant like I'm preparing to make a sacrificial offering.

"It's pretty. I hope that I don't kill it. I don't have a green thumb, brown or black thumb maybe," she says with a laugh.

"Another thing that we have in common, but this is a very forgiving English ivy plant. I know that because I've managed to keep the one alive that I bought almost a year ago to make my condo feel more like home." I put the plant down on the little table next to the bed. "How are you feeling?" Damn, I told myself that I wasn't going to ask that.

"I'm feeling much better, but I'm upset about what my doctor told me during his visit this morning."

"What did he say that upset you? Did he say that there are going to be long-term effects?"

"Not really, but sort of..."

I sit in the chair next to her bed to listen to why she's upset.

"I asked the doctor this morning about being able to continue with my fertility treatments, and he didn't have good news. He took down the name of my doctor and said that he'd see that she got a copy of his report and it would be her call, but he suspected that she'd want to wait for at least one complete cycle, maybe a couple to make sure that the toxin had been completely purged from my system." She sighs. "I was sidelined by a bad case of the flu in late September that lasted long enough into October that I missed the window in both months. Next month, I was supposed to start back again and I was hoping to be pregnant by Christmas, and now this. I just can't get a break when it comes to having a baby. Listen to me. How are you feeling? Your in vitro was almost a week ago…you feel any different?"

"Not that I've noticed, but you know that I'm hoping to find out on the twenty-second that I'm pregnant. It would certainly be something to be extra thankful for this year with Thanksgiving coming up," I reply with a smile.

Peggy's face lights up. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if, with all the other things that we have in common, we got pregnant about the same time and our babies could be friends, too?"

I don't know how I'd feel about being pregnant at the same time as Peggy, no matter how close a friend I think she could be.

"I think that it would be a little unusual, given our odds of being able to conceive, that it would happen at the same time for both of us, but it would be fun to shop for baby stuff together."

Yes, that was a good answer to cover my uncertainty about the idea without hurting her feelings.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Her voice has turned somber. "I don't really care as long as my baby is healthy, but since my husband already has a biological daughter from his first marriage, I think that it would be nice to give him a son."

"I haven't thought about it much since I was told that I probably wouldn't be able to have a baby, but, before then, I wanted a little girl." I pause. "Since Harm is living with a teenage girl and a wife taking hormones, I'll bet that he'd like to have another boy in the house," I respond with a chuckle.

We're laughing when a broad-shouldered man appears at the door in a suit and tie.

"Ladies, do I have the correct room? I'm looking for Peggy Knox."

"That's me," Peggy answers.

The man enters the room. "Mrs. Knox, I'm Detective Parker from the San Diego Police Department. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"About what?"

"You were poisoned, ma'am. I'd like to ask the usual questions." Sensing the tension in Peggy, the detective tries to make a joke. "You know, just like on TV. Has anyone threatened you recently or can you think of anyone who'd want to hurt you?"

I pat Peggy's arm. "It's routine in an unexplained case of poisoning like yours."

"Can she stay?" Peggy asks.

"If it'll make you feel more at ease and she doesn't interfere with my questioning, I'm all right with it. Now, back to my questions - any threats or enemies that you can think of?"

**TWELVE MINUTES LATER **

The officer wraps up with, "Sometimes, when a person starts to feel better and gets back into the swing of things, they'll think of something to add. If that happens to you, please give me a call."

He hands Peggy a business card and leaves the room.

I tell Peggy that I have to get back to work, and I do, but, more importantly, I want to see if I can catch up to Detective Parker.

I walk into the corridor and see that the detective is talking to a nurse near the elevators. I approach rapidly to catch him before he boards the elevator.

"Excuse me, Detective Parker. I'd like to know what you know about Peggy's poisoning."

He frowns. He isn't very happy that I'm noising into his investigation. Harm would be pleased that I kept my mouth shut in Peggy's room - maybe not pleased, more like surprised.

"Why should I tell you anything, Miss, Mrs. MacKenzie?" he asks, squinting to read the name badge on my uniform.

"Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, JAG Corps, stationed here in San Diego at the Joint Legal Services office."

"And your relationship to the victim, ma'am?"

"She's my friend, and I'd like to know if you feel that she'll be in danger when she's released from the hospital or, for that matter, while she's in the hospital."

"Our investigation is just beginning, Colonel."

He says my rank with sarcasm.

"We don't know much yet, but I can tell you that I don't believe for one second that the poison got from the garage into her system by accident, and that's all I'm willing or able to tell you." The elevator dings, and he gets on. "Going down, Colonel?" he asks.

Again, he says my rank with sarcasm. I don't know if it's women in the military or military officers with which he has a problem, but I'm not getting any points for the uniform. Maybe he's a Navy man and he just doesn't like Marines.

"Not at the moment. I'm going to go check on my friend again before I leave the hospital."

He snorts, and the elevator doors close. I pull out my cell phone and dial a very familiar number. If he's still out at lunch, he'll answer his cell phone. If not, I'll have to call his office because his cell phone doesn't get a signal inside the NCIS building.

"Hey."

The sound of his voice is reassuring with only that one word. "Hey," I respond.

"Why am I lucky enough to get a call from my beautiful wife in the middle of the day?"

I think that's the real reason why I called him. I knew that he'd be able to calm me with a few words.

"I came to the hospital to visit Peggy during my lunchtime. I'm at the elevator waiting so that I can head back to the office. I wouldn't have been here so long, but a police detective arrived to question Peggy. He made it clear that he doesn't think that her poisoning was an accident."

"You called it. You think that they're going after her husband?"

"He didn't or wouldn't say if they had a prime suspect yet, but statistics would suggest that the spouse, and in this case, her husband, is the most likely candidate."

"So you weren't overreacting. Feel better?"

The elevator dings. "Not really. The elevator is here, so I'm headed back to the office. I'll see you at home. Love you."

"I love you."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Detective Parker went down to the lobby, but then rode the elevator back up to the floor below and climbed the stairs to Mrs. Knox's floor. Once he saw Colonel MacKenzie get onto the elevator, he went back in to see Peggy Knox to ask a few questions about her friend, Colonel Sarah MacKenzie.


	114. Chapter 114

**PART THREE **

**THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2006**

**RABB HOME  
AFTER DINNER**

Harm and I try to ease the military precision of our lives while we're at home, but, in some cases, routines save time and energy.

The time of day when our family uses one of these time-saving drills that helps me tremendously is after a meal.

Since Harm usually cooks, I'm in charge of clean up. Therefore, my action plan calls for each family member to take his or her own plate to the kitchen and place it in the dishwasher. Harm is free to help or not, but he usually does while the rest of us make a trip or two back to the table for serving dishes. When the dishes are cleared from the table, Mattie returns to the table to wipe it down. I'm in charge of running the dishwasher, but Ty likes to push the button. In the morning while breakfast is being prepared, it's Mattie's job to unload the dishwasher and put away the dishes.

The 'after dinner dishes drill' is in full swing when the phone rings. It seems to be doing that a lot since Peggy was released from the hospital two days ago.

Mattie rolls her eyes at the ringing of the house phone. "I'll finish up and let Ty push the button so that you can talk to your friend, Mac."

She's been moody this week. It's hard to tell if her mood is because she's resentful of the fact that I have a friend to talk to, the fact that she hasn't heard from her father since she visited him three weeks ago, or a combination of things, capped off by the fact that she's a teenage girl, but, whatever the reason, I'm glad that she volunteered to take over the dishes.

"Thanks," I say to Mattie over my shoulder as I move towards Harm.

Harm has picked up the phone to stop the ringing and has the cordless handset pressed against his chest to keep our kitchen noise out of Peggy's ear.

"She sounds really upset…not upset like when she called Monday night to say that, after you left the hospital, the detective came back to ask questions about you…but upset to the point of tears," he whispers as I reach for the handset.

I nod that I understand and put the handset to my ear. "Hello, Peggy." I stop there because I hear her sniffle. Harm's right. She's at or has just crossed the 'crying point'. "What's wrong, Peggy?"

"I don't have much time. I need some advice." She's whispering and sounds a little desperate. "That detective from the hospital is here with another detective. They want to ask me more questions. I told them that I needed to go to the bathroom and I locked myself in here until I could ask you what to do. You're a lawyer, right?"

"I am, but I'm not licensed to practice in California so…never mind. Peggy, he'll probably ask you pretty much the same questions that he did at the hospital. Police and attorneys like to ask the same questions a couple of different times to try to catch inconsistent statements or gain new information that might come to mind later. It's routine. Peggy, you're the victim, so unless you poisoned yourself, you have nothing to worry about. Just answer his questions like you did at the hospital, okay?"

"Okay, but I've got a bad feeling about all of this. I've got to go." With that, the line goes abruptly dead.

I move to place the handset back in the base and look up to inquiring eyes, Harm's. The hum of the dishwasher is noticeable in the quiet kitchen since the children have left the room. He knows what I'm thinking.

"As soon as I heard you say that you weren't licensed to practice in California, I asked Mattie to have Ty pick a movie or a game that he wanted to play tonight and I finished up so that you could fill me in. What's happened?"

"She was calling from inside her bathroom. The detective that I told you about who spoke with her at the hospital and his partner are at her house to question her some more. She says that she has a bad feeling about them being there."

"You think that they're there under the pretense of questioning Peggy, but that the questioning will move to her husband…and you can't represent her husband in court because you aren't licensed to practice in civilian court in this state."

"Correct, but I can handle a little police questioning session."

"I'll go tell Mattie that we're leaving and see what it's going to cost me to get her to watch Ty for a couple of hours."

"She'll probably want her curfew extended, but you don't have to go. I can handle this."

"But if you're right, and you have been so far, her husband may need a lawyer who can represent him in court."

I give him an odd look.

"I'm licensed to practice in Virginia, Maryland and California. Let's get moving. They could be questioning my client as we speak."

We each make a stop on the way to the door. Harm tells Mattie that we have to go out, and he doesn't have time to explain now, but he will when we get back. I tell Ty that some work has come up and we have to leave for a couple of hours, but we won't be gone overnight and we hope to be back in time to tuck him in.

**KNOX HOME  
SAN DIEGO, CA**

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**

We ring the bell, and a shaky Peggy answers the door. When she opens the door, her body relaxes and we see the relief in her eyes just before her tears begin to fall.

"I'm so glad you came. They came in acting very friendly and sat down with Dan and me in the living room. Detective Parker let the other detective ask me questions, and it was like you said. He asked basically the same questions as Detective Parker did on Monday. Then we had a discussion about them wanting to speak to our daughter, which we didn't want them to do. They said that they only wanted to ask her a few questions to determine if she had any information. They suggested that maybe she'd deleted a threatening phone message or had heard a neighbor talking, or something of that nature. After they said that we could be present when they spoke to Jenny, we called her down to speak with them. After Jenny went back upstairs, they asked Dan to step into the kitchen to talk. They've been in there for a few minutes, and I'm starting to worry." Her tears have ceased as she's spoken and, with her most pressing thoughts shared, it occurs to her that we're still outside. "Oh my god, what am I thinking? Come in."

Upon entering the home, Peggy and I sit down on the couch. Harm remains standing, poised to make an exit to the kitchen, but before Harm or I can ask where the kitchen is located, the detectives and Dan enter the living room.

Dan moves towards Peggy, while the detective, for whom we have no name, speaks.

His voice is commanding. "We'd like to thank you for your cooperation. Detective Parker says that you have his card, so, if either of you think of anything else, give him a call. Please enjoy the rest of your evening. We'll show ourselves out. Good night."

The two detectives leave the room, acting as though the two of us aren't even there. Harm and I just stare at each other as the two detectives leave without introducing themselves to Harm or asking who he is.

Dan kneels in front of the couch and takes Peggy's hand. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

"I've never had to go through anything like this and it's just a little overwhelming. I'm afraid that, when Sarah and her husband arrived, I just let it all out." She pauses and looks up at Harm. "Since you've already seen my makeup run from crying, I think that should put us on a first name basis. I'm Peggy," she states with the brief glimpse of a smile and in a much more upbeat voice than she's had since we arrived.

"Peggy, call me Harm," he replies with a friendly smile.

Dan squeezes his wife's hand, stands to his full height of six two and turns to Harm. "Harm, I've never been questioned by the police before, so I think I need a drink. Care to join me in the den for one?"

Except for an occasional glass of wine with dinner at his mother's on Sunday evenings and the beer that I know that he consumed with Keeter because I could smell it on his breath when he got to the hotel after his talk with him after Sturgis' wedding, Harm doesn't consume alcohol very often, but I'm sure that he'll accept Dan's offer so that he can talk to him.

"Sounds good. Lead the way," Harm replies.

"If the men are having a drink, could I interest you in something? Tea perhaps?" Peggy asks me.

"No thank you, I'm fine, but if you'd like a cup, please go ahead."

"I don't want any tea. I want this mess over with. I wasn't planning to go back to work until Monday, but I think I'll go in for a couple of hours tomorrow."

"Don't rush yourself. Take some time to rest and recover."

"Those detectives were at my office this afternoon, asking questions about my relationship with my husband, my stepdaughter, my business partner and our clients…my whole life. The police seem to think that my poisoning wasn't an accident. They're looking into my life to find my mortal enemies. I own an advertising firm. If someone doesn't like our campaign pitch, they ask us to take another run at it or they fire us. They don't poison us. And Jenny…I know that she wasn't thrilled with the idea of having a baby in the house, but we talked, and she's okay with it now. Besides, she's fourteen. What would she know about poisoning someone? And Dan, if he wanted me gone, why would he try to kill me when he could simply divorce me? Sarah, I'm an ordinary person who leads a normal life. I don't have enemies. You know about this sort of thing. When will this be over so that I can go back to my boring life?"

"The police have to feel that they've exhausted all possible leads in order to put aside a case. If they truly feel that it was attempted murder and not an accidental poisoning after they've conducted an investigation, the case won't be closed until an arrest and conviction have been made or until the statue of limitations has run out on the attempted murder charge. Then they'll file it away as 'unsolved.' There's no way to know how long it'll take."

**SAME TIME **

**KNOX HOME  
DEN**

"Harm, you a beer or a whiskey man?"

"I like a cold beer or a good shot of bourbon on occasion, but to tell you the truth, I'm not interested in having either at the moment. I wanted to talk to you. My wife has some concerns about your situation. I know that you just answered questions from the police, but I'd like to ask a few. I'd like to be able to tell my wife that she can stop worrying."

"If you don't mind, I'll have a drink while you're asking."

"Go ahead." Harm watches for a minute until Dan has poured himself a double shot of scotch.

Dan lifts his freshly poured scotch to his lips for a drink and, as he lowers his glass from his mouth, he inquires, "What did you want to ask me?"

"What kind of questions did they ask your wife when they came this evening?"

"They asked her if she'd thought of anything new since Detective Parker had spoken to her on Monday. Has she seen anyone odd hanging around the house or the office? Has she been threatened by anyone in any way? I'm not sure what else. My wife is a wonderful woman. I can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt her. This all simply makes no sense to us."

"What kind of questions did they ask your daughter?"

"If she'd heard anyone threaten to hurt Peggy. If she'd ever heard Peggy have an argument with a neighbor or me where one of us was yelling or screaming at each other. The only other question that I remember them asking Jenny was if her birth mother and Peggy got along."

"Do they?"

"My ex seemed okay with Peggy when we were dating, but five years ago when we got married, she had a meltdown and told me that Peggy would never be Jenny's mother. During the first year of my marriage to Peggy, my ex caused more than a few uncomfortable moments. We don't all get together and have Thanksgiving dinner or anything like that, so we aren't friends, but there haven't been any problems in years."

"What questions did the police ask you?"

"From what the detectives said, they questioned my wife's business partner and secretary this afternoon. Her partner told them about a discussion that got a little loud that Peggy and I had in her office about six months ago."

"What was the argu…" A look came over Dan's face that caused Harm to change the word. "…discussion about?"

"I'd gone to Peggy's office to meet her so that we could go to an appointment with our fertility specialist. Peggy said something about it being a year that month since we'd started trying to have a baby, so the perfect anniversary present would be for her to get pregnant this time. I said that, if it didn't happen this time, maybe it was time to stop trying. We were each passionately trying to make our point and we got a little loud. Peggy started to get upset, so I suggested that we go to our appointment, worry about the month at hand and discuss the matter later. We left for our appointment and that was that. It was just a marital discussion that happened in the wrong place, nothing more. I love my wife. I'd never hurt her, but I got the impression that the police aren't sure of that."

"What makes you think that the police consider you to be a suspect?"

"The questions they asked and the way they asked them. They asked if I had any sour business dealings that might make my wife or me a target. I told them that I'm an accountant and that I sometimes have to tell someone that they owe more in taxes than they'd like to pay, but they cuss the government or the IRS. They don't threaten me. After that, they went back to the loud discussion in Peggy's office. They asked me who else had access to the garage. They asked why I was storing insecticide between boxes of old files that are stacked up in the garage instead of up on a shelf like the other chemicals out there such as the paint thinners and paint. I told them that I wasn't storing it there. I hadn't used it since the fruit fly scare and that I didn't know how or when it got put on the floor. They asked what was in the boxes. I told them that they were old client files from my office. Then the detective who was doing most of the asking looked at the other detective and then back at me. He said that he thought that would be enough for now and, if they thought of anything else, they'd get in touch with me, but I've got a feeling that I'll be hearing from them again."

"From what you've said, I think you're right."

"I know an attorney, but he specializes in tax and estate law. Peggy told me that you and your wife are military lawyers. Do you know of anyone who I can call if I need a criminal lawyer?"

"I do. If they want to question you again, I suspect that they'll want to conduct the next session at the station. Don't answer any questions. Invoke your right to have your counselor present and call me."

"You say that you think that I'm right and that they'll want to talk to me again, but you said _if _they want to question me in the next breath, so make up your mind. Which is it?"

"I think that you'll see them again, but, depending on the evidence they have, they may not ask you to come in for a Q&A. They may arrest you and ask questions as part of a post-arrest interview."

"You mean interrogation?"

"Yes, either way, invoke your right to counsel, don't answer any questions and call me."

Dan looks tired and worn down. "My wife and I are ordinary people who lead a normal life. Why is this happening to us? Who'd want to hurt my wife?"

"Who'd want to hurt your wife and make it look like you'd done it?" Harm asks pointedly.

Dan takes the last of his scotch down in a gulp. "I should check on Peggy. She should get some rest."

The men return to the living room where Harm suggests that we should be going so that we can spend some time with Ty before we have to tuck him into bed.

We say our good nights and leave the Knox home.

**EN ROUTE TO THE RABB HOME**

Harm backs out of the Knox driveway, and we make it to the stop sign at the end of the block before he speaks and we start to share information.

"Did you talk to Peggy?" Harm asks.

"Yes, she's very upset by all of this. She thinks that her poisoning must have been a freak accident because she can't think of anyone who'd want to kill her. Did you get Dan to tell you anything?"

"He's upset by all of this, too, so he was ready to talk. He thinks that he's a suspect and, from what he told me, I'd have to agree."

"Well, they usually suspect the spouse in cases like this. You know the saying. If someone wants someone out of the way – it's usually for love or money. In both cases, the spouse is usually the one with the most motive."

We talk about what each of us discussed with the spouse of the other until we pull into our driveway.

Once inside the house, with the help of our son, we're able to forget the mess that our friends are in and focus on our family.


	115. Chapter 115

**PART FOUR **

**MONDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2006**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**1420**

My intercom buzzes. "Yes, Coates."

"Colonel, there's a caller on line two who's asked to speak to you. I think she said that her name was something Knox, but she's very upset and crying, so it's hard for me to be sure. Do you want to take the call, ma'am, or should I try to take a message?"

"I'll take the call."

I cut off communication with Jennifer, lift the receiver and press the button for line two. "This is Colonel MacKenzie. Peggy, is this you?"

I hear some muffled noises between sobs that might be words.

"Peggy, take a couple of deep breaths and calm down. I can't understand what you're saying."

I hear her inhale deeply, obeying my request.

The woman on the other end of the phone is the complete opposite of the one who we saw a couple of days ago. We'd seen Peggy and Dan at Sheila's baby shower, and she'd looked rested. When she'd spoken, her voice had been strong. The four of us had spent time talking and enjoying most of the day as a foursome. They told us that the police coming to question everyone had seemed like a bad dream. Then they'd announced to us that they'd talked it over and had agreed to go through with having a baby by surrogate. They told us that they'd discussed hiring a surrogate in September, but now they've moved on to actively searching for a potential mother. My recollections end when I hear Peggy speak in a calmer tone that I can clearly understand.

"Dan called. He said that the detectives from the other night showed up at his office this morning and arrested him for trying to kill me. He asked me to call your husband, but I don't have his number, so I called you. Can you reach Harm and tell him that they've arrested Dan?"

"Yes, of course, I will." I can't help but offer assurances. "Harm's a great lawyer, one of the best. We'll figure this out. I'll call Harm as soon as we hang up. Try not to worry."

"I'll try not to worry, but it's hard. My husband's in jail!" she wails. "Please call Harm to see what he can do."

"I'll call you later to check on you and give you an update. Bye."

"Bye."

I end the call with Peggy and, with a shaky hand, I immediately start to dial Harm's office number.

When I give Harm the news and he asks why I'm upset when we knew this could happen, I tell him that it's just lousy timing. It's three days before Thanksgiving, and that's a terrible time to go to jail when you have a family.

"Trust me, there's no good time to be in jail, family or not, holiday or not," he states.

"I'm sorry. I forgot about you being…" I find myself getting teary-eyed. I'm a mess today. I need to get hold of myself.

"It's okay. I can't get away at the moment, but I'll get out of here as soon as I can. I'll get someone here to find out where they're holding him while I finish up so I can leave. I wouldn't count on me to be home for dinner, but I'll have to go to the house to change clothes."

**RABB HOME **

**DEN **

**LATE EVENING**

Harm did miss dinner, but was home in time to play cards with Ty.

Since we finished the bedtime story book that Ty got at Easter, we now have Ty pick a book to read to us. He usually reads a whole story at his reading level before he gets sleepy, which takes about fifteen minutes or so. When he starts to yawn, Harm says good night and I stay for a few minutes until he's started to drift off.

I didn't expect Harm to say anything in front of Ty about Dan's case, so I'm eager to get to our bedroom tonight so that I can ask him about his visit with Dan. Therefore, after I get Ty all tucked in, I go to our bedroom, but Harm isn't there.

I immediately head for the den where I find him working at his desk.

"Are you working on Dan's case?"

"No, I'm getting some notes down for the meeting in the morning. I'll need to swing by the office and give my notes to Lafferty so that he can attend the morning meeting, leaving me free to go to Dan's bail hearing."

"Do you have any information from the prosecution other than the list of charges yet?"

"According to the evidence list, pictures of the locations where each product was found before it was removed from the garage and taken to the lab are missing. I'm also missing the lab report about the fingerprints on the bottle and a couple of other things, but I've got enough to get started on, and I've made a list of the things that aren't here. I'll present the list to the prosecution in the morning and request them."

"Peggy was a mess when I last spoke to her."

"When was that?" Harm asked.

"After dinner. Right after you called and told me that you were on your way home, I gave her a call. How is Dan doing?"

"He's holding up, but he wasn't able to concentrate on anything other than the possibility of being away from his family on Thanksgiving when I tried to talk to him today. I need to get him out on bail so that I can get him to focus in order to build a defense."

"What's the prosecution's case?"

Harm picks up a folder off the desk and offers it to me. "You can have a look at the file, but, in a nutshell, he's charged with attempted murder by Malathion poisoning, along with assault with intent to do bodily harm and a couple of lesser charges to hedge their bets against losing the case completely."

I flip over a couple of pages in the file. "Malathion, the insecticide found in the garage?"

"Correct. The bottle of Malathion was found in their garage with an eyedropper containing the insecticide laying next to it. There are only a limited few with access to the garage and only his fingerprints were found on the bottle. The insecticide was tucked between two stacks of boxes that contained old files from his office that no one else would have a need to be around, so the prosecution asserts that he must have thought that it was a safe place to hide it until he'd used enough to kill his wife, but it made her so sick before it killed her that her business partner and secretary noticed. Therefore, he had to take her to the hospital for appearances sake, where the doctors were able to save her life."

"And what's his motive supposed to be?"

"You mean is it for love or money?"

"Yes."

"They claim money. It would seem that their attempts to have a child have drained their savings, but the value of her share of the business, along with her life insurance, would more than recover the funds and leave him and his daughter living the good life again."

"You interviewed him. Do you think that he did it?"

"No."

"Then how are we going to prove it?"

"We?"

"I got you into this. It's only fair that I help. Where do you want to start?"

"I'm ready for tomorrow, so let's start with a good night's sleep."

I give him an odd look as he starts to clear his desk by shoving things into his briefcase.

"The next few days are going to be hectic. Tomorrow, I have court and work. The next day, we have to go to the doctor's office and go to work, and the following day is Thanksgiving. Saturday is event night at the gallery with Mattie's youth corner display. So tonight might be the last time that I can find time to sleep until we get this figured out."

**WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2006**

**DR. DANIELS OFFICE**

**1145**

Harm was right. The pace of our lives went from zero to sixty yesterday. He got Dan out on bail and went back to work, but the Knox family came over for dinner and spent most of the evening at our home, discussing the case.

The good news is that the uproar in my friend's life has kept me from counting the days until I take my pregnancy test, but the day is here and we're in the doctor's office, waiting for Dr. Daniels to come in with the results.

I hear the office door open and reach for Harm's hand. Dr. Daniels walks in and around her desk to her chair, but she doesn't sit down. I can't read the look on her face.

"Sarah, I want to run the test again on Monday."

"Why? What's wrong? I'm either pregnant or I'm not, right?" I ask.

"Today's test is inclusive."

I get the question out before Harm can. "What does that mean?"

"The test for pregnancy is looking for a hormone called hCG. Your test today shows that your level is elevated, but not as high as we'd usually see with a pregnancy."

"What causes that?" I ask.

"It's more than likely a false pregnancy, meaning that your body has triggered the pregnancy hormones, but you aren't pregnant, so the levels aren't where we'd expect them to be."

There's something about her demeanor that has me worried. I can tell that there could be another reason. I get a knot in my stomach at the thought, but I have to ask. "Or I'm pregnant, but there's a problem with the baby?" Harm grasps my hand tightly as he waits to hear the answer.

Dr. Daniels sits down. "That is another possibility, but I think that the first one is much more likely. The hormone treatments that you've been undergoing could've triggered the release of the hCG."

"If it's the other, what will happen?" I ask. Harm's never been this quiet at an appointment.

"The hCG level should rise and make the results clearly positive. That's the reason for testing again on Monday. However, it's more likely that the hCG level will decrease, your period will begin and you'll start another cycle, but we won't know for certain until we retest on Monday."

I asked the question, but I don't think that I was ready for the answer.

My mind goes blank and I feel light-headed. I could be pregnant, but I'm going to lose the baby. I feel like I'm going to be sick to my stomach. I feel Harm's hand touch my thigh. I hear muffled sounds of voices, but I don't understand the words or even know who's speaking them.

I feel a woman's hand on my shoulder and then her words become clear.

"Sarah, are you all right?"

"Mac, Mac…"

I focus on Harm's face, and he must have been saying my name for several seconds because he looks worried.

"I'm sorry to scare you. I was just thinking."

"I know that it's a lot to take in. That's why I don't usually tell my patients everything like that, but you asked, and I don't believe in keeping information from my patients when they ask me a direct question. I have a patient waiting in an exam room. You two stay in here for as long as you need for Sarah to catch her breath. I'll see you on Monday, and we'll see if we can get a more definitive answer. Enjoy the holiday and try not to worry."

I pull myself together after a few minutes.

I didn't see the look on Harm's face when Dr. Daniels answered my question, and, from his expression now, I don't have a clue about how he feels about this latest hiccup in our pursuit to have a baby.

Harm keeps his arm around me, making sure that I'm steady on my feet as we walk from the doctor's office down to my car.

After he opens my car door and I get in, he asks, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Her news was hard to hear, but I needed to know. I'll be okay. How about you? Are you going to be okay?"

Harm can't look me in the eye to answer, so he looks away. "I'll be okay. I'm just worried about you."

"I guess we both feel like Monday is more like two years away than a few days." I put my hand on Harm's arm. "Promise me that, if you need to talk about this, you'll tell me."

"If you promise to talk to me if you need to."

"Deal."

Harm places a soft kiss on my lips before telling me that he loves me and that he'll see me at home tonight.

**RABB HOME **

**DEN **

**LATE EVENING**

After Ty had read his nightly story to us, Harm told him good night before kissing me on the cheek and telling me that he had some work to do and that he'd go to bed when he'd finished. I got Ty all tucked in before going to the den to see Harm.

"What are you working on?"

"Dan's case...I got the rest of the lab reports and evidence photos today. I didn't have enough time to look it over at the office, so I'm taking a look at it now."

"I know that we're going to your mom's for Thanksgiving so we don't have to prepare a big dinner tomorrow, but don't you think that you should get some sleep?"

"I won't stay at it too long, but I want to review the new stuff. His preliminary hearing is set for Tuesday at 1000. I'm hoping to have this figured out before then."

"Can I help?" I ask.

"You should get some rest."

"No, I need to stay busy to keep from thinking about it too much." He understands that I'm referring to the news from the doctor.

"Pull up a chair. I have everything laid out on my desk. Take a look."

We've been looking over reports and staring at pictures of Dan's garage for an hour and seven minutes when Mattie comes to the door.

"I was going to make some popcorn. Do you guys want some?"

"None for me, but thanks for asking," I tell her.

Harm leans back in his chair. "No thank you on the popcorn, but I do have a favor to ask of you," Harm states.

"Okay, what is it?" Mattie says as she steps into the den from the doorway.

"I want you to get on the computer and tell me what you can find out about insecticide poisoning."

"Do you want to know about a particular kind or just in general?"

"I'd rather not say," Harm answers.

It seems to dawn on her that it has something to do with the case that we told her briefly about when we had her watch Ty a few days ago and about the people who spent so much time at the house the other night, but she wants conformation.

"Does it have something to do with the case that's all over your desk?"

"Yes," Harm replies.

"Okay then, I'm going to go make my popcorn, grab a soda and I'll see what I can come up with."

Mattie leaves the room.

"Do you think that it's a good idea to ask her to help?" I ask Harm.

"I think that she'd liked to get some idea of what we do, and a little computer research is better than looking at crime scene photos."

"She's graduating in a few months...trying to get her interested in a law career?" I ask teasingly.

"The exposure can't hurt, but, through her work at the gallery, I don't see a law career in her future. She's been doing those youth corners at the gallery and she's planned November's for this Saturday, trying to catch the patrons in the Christmas spirit since she's organized this one for charity. The proceeds are going to a local battered women's shelter."

"She likes photography, too, so I wonder what she'll actually want to major in." I sigh. Do you realize that, if I do get pregnant, you're going to have one kid in college and one in diapers?" I tease.

Harm rolls his eyes. "Let's get back on topic. Who had the most access to the garage?"

I don't think that Harm wants to talk about having a child old enough to be in college, or maybe he's having second thoughts about having a child at each end of the age spectrum. Maybe he just doesn't want to discuss hypothetical situations.

"Dan, Peggy and Jenny," I say, answering the question that he'd asked before I veered off topic.

We've discussed Dan's motive and opportunity as well as the possibility of Peggy poisoning herself when we decide that we need a break.

We're sipping tea and enjoying our break when Mattie walks in with a smug look on her face just forty-three minutes after she left us in the den. I wonder what she was able to find out.

"I figure that, unless you're a chemical salesman or something like that, you'd look for something easily obtainable that wouldn't look out of place around the house. I found two, one is rat poison, but I think the other one, Malathion, would be the best choice."

"Why that one?" Harm asks.

"First, because, even though both products are available at most gardening centers or home improvement stores, here in California, some people might have some still lying around from the fruit fly scare in the 80's, which means that a killer wouldn't have to purchase it, and I'd think that would leave one less thing that the police could trace back to me. The other reason is because of the symptoms, among which are muscle weakness, headache, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. The person being poisoned might think that they had the flu until it was too late. It's also just as toxic inhaled, absorbed or ingested, so it wouldn't have to be administered in just one way, and the accumulation in the body would get results faster."

"Learn anything else interesting?" Harm asks.

"Only that it isn't so much the Malathion that's poison, but that, when it begins to break down, it changes to maloaxon, which is sixty times more toxic. Malathion is used for the treatment of head and body lice. In its outdoor applications, it's relatively harmless to humans, but when it comes indoors, it can cause illness and death. Does any of this help you?" Mattie asks as she hands Harm the results of her research, which she's printed out.

"It does, thank you," Harm says.

"You're welcome. I'll be upstairs if you need any more research done," Mattie offers.

"Thanks," Harm replies.

As I mull over what Mattie's told us after she leaves the den, a thought suddenly occurs to me.

"Wait a minute. What if whoever did this wasn't trying to kill Peggy, but just make her sick? Peggy told me that she had the flu in mid September that lasted into October. Maybe it wasn't the flu. Maybe she'd been poisoned then, too," I inform Harm.

"And when she got sick, whoever had poisoned her stopped for a while," Harm adds.

Mattie pops back in. "I almost forgot to tell you. I did some other searches and found out that most killers who use poison are women." She makes her statement and quickly disappears.

I can see by the look in Harm's eyes that we're thinking the same thing, but I venture there first. "You don't really think that Jenny did it, do you?"

"She's someone who had access to the garage, and not wanting her father to have another child would give her a motive."

"Whether Jenny did it or not, it gives you a reasonable doubt defense."

"It does, but I haven't settled on a defense strategy yet. That's why we're reading and rereading these reports and looking at pictures of Dan's garage...but I will say that Mattie was able to find this stuff out in less than an hour while eating popcorn and searching the internet. I don't think that it would be too hard for a fourteen-year-old to do the same search."

I can tell that Harm doesn't want to believe that it was Jenny when he starts to assess the situation again.

"So, if poisoning is usually done by a woman, what women had access to the garage? Jenny and Peggy, anyone else?" Harm asks.

"I'm hoping that it wasn't Jenny. I know that Peggy wouldn't do this to herself because she wants a baby so badly. She wouldn't risk doing anything that would compromise her chances. It has to be someone else," I say, thinking out loud.

"Or there's a man who knows that mostly woman use poison and not men, and used it in an effort to try to place the blame on someone else. But if the flu that she was suffering from in September was really Malathion poisoning, then no one asked who might have been in the garage in the last three months. The police and I asked about access during only the last month or so," Harm explains.

"So we need to talk to Dan and Peggy," I state.

"Yeah, but it's late. You and I are off until Monday for the holiday, so one of us will call them tomorrow and make arrangements to talk to them early on Friday. I'll put away this stuff in the morning, because, right now, I think that we could both use some sleep."


	116. Chapter 116

**PART FIVE **

**THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2006**

**THANKSGIVING DAY**

**RABB HOME **

**BREAKFAST TABLE**

With the four of us sitting down at the table for breakfast and with no one in a hurry to get to work or school, the holiday makes this morning feel more like a Sunday, except there's no French toast. This morning, it's pancakes a la Harm.

We've all taken several bites of our pancakes and properly complimented the chef when Mattie asks, "Do you think that Grandpa will really pull out the lists that we wrote last Christmas like he said he'd do?"

"I doubt that Frank would have said it if he didn't intend to follow through, so I'm sure that we'll see those papers before dinner today," Harm answers.

"Do I have to have a list before Grandpa will let me have turkey?" Ty asks.

How the little male brain works is still something that I'm getting used to, so I'm not very good at seeing a question coming, but, thankfully, I'm ready with the answer.

"No, honey, you don't have to have a list to have turkey." I can see that my statement makes him feel instantly better. "However, so that you have a list, too, I'll help you make one after breakfast."

"Are we going to make a list like we take grocery shopping?" Ty asks.

Harm is looking at me with a big smile on his face, indicating that I have to answer this question, too.

"No, it's a list of things to be thankful for. See if you can think of anything while you finish your breakfast, and I'll help you write them down before we have to leave for Grandpa's, okay?"

"Okay." Relieved that he won't be going without Thanksgiving dinner, Ty heartily returns to eating his breakfast until he's cleaned his plate.

After Ty has put his plate and milk glass in the dishwasher, I send him to retrieve a pencil and paper from his school bag.

After the remaining three of us have completed the march to the dishwasher, Harm is off to the den to pick up the case notes that we'd left scattered on his desk last night. In the meantime, I wait for Ty to return to the table so that I can help him write his list.

**RABB HOME **

**DEN**

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

I enter the den to see Harm standing behind his desk, staring at the desk top. I take another step and see that he hasn't put away any of the things. The contents of the file are still arranged on top of his desk, and he's very focused on something.

"That's a pretty serious look you have on your face, so I don't think that you're thinking about turkey."

"I'm looking at the pictures of Dan's garage. I thought that I'd have a few minutes. I didn't expect you to be finished helping Ty yet."

"He asked me how many things had to be on his list, and I told him that there was no set number. Then he asked if turning seven was something to be thankful for, and I said yes. Then he said that he knew what to write and that I should go make sure that Dad was putting away his work so we weren't late to go to Grandpa's. It would seem that, not only is he independent enough to do things on his own, but he knows his dad pretty well, too."

Harm gives me a sheepish grin, but he doesn't acknowledge the accuracy of his son's statement. Instead, he changes the subject to the case at hand.

"Dan said the other night that his neighbor, Chuck, had come over a few weekends ago to borrow a shovel because the handle on his had broken right in the middle of him digging up a broken irrigation line. Dan said that they'd gone into the garage together, he'd located the shovel and given it to Chuck, and that Chuck had never been in the garage alone. He also said that he didn't see the bottle on the floor, but that it could have been there. With what we have or perhaps don't have, I believe that Jenny is the one mostly likely to have poisoned Peggy."

"I disagree," Mattie sounds off from just inside the door.

"And what evidence do you have to support that opinion?" Harm asks.

"When they were here the other night, I took Jenny to my room, remember, so that you could talk to her parents about the case without her hearing too much. Well, we talked. She didn't do it."

"You sound pretty sure about that. What did the two of you talk about that makes you so sure?" I ask.

"She says that she was only eight when Peggy started dating her dad and nine when they got married. She said that Peggy is more like a mom than her real one. They go shopping together and they watch silly old movies together when her dad works late...things like that. She said that she loves her real mom, but her real mom just isn't like that. She never was and, because her mom isn't motherly, her father has had full custody of her since her parents got divorced when she was three. She said that it did bother her at first that Peggy wanted to have a baby, but that she was okay with it now."

"Did she say how she came to terms with it?" I ask.

"She said that it took her mom, Peggy, not her biological one, sitting down with her when she was twelve and telling her that the reason why they wanted a baby wasn't because they didn't love her, but because she wanted to know the joy that her mother had felt when she'd been born. Peggy told her that feelings are hard to explain, but, after spending so much time starting her business and trying to make money to live a comfortable life that, when she met Jenny's dad, she knew that true wealth was in family and she knew that she needed to try to have a baby in order to make her feel complete. Jenny joked that, now that she's a freshmen in high school, she hopes that they have a baby soon because she doesn't want her mom going into labor at her graduation."

"I think you've supplied enough information to make me believe that Jenny isn't responsible for this either. How about you, Harm?"

"Yeah, I think we can scratch Jenny off the list, but that doesn't leave anyone left _on_ the list," Harm says with a sigh.

"I came in to ask when we're leaving because Ty's finished his list and is ready to go," Mattie declares.

"We can leave any time, but dinner isn't until five," I answer.

"Okay, I'll tell him that we'll be leaving in a little while."

Mattie turns to leave, but stops and turns around. "You know, if you two are going to try to have a baby, you need to get started on it yourself. You aren't getting any younger, you know?"

Her words were spoken with a teasing lilt to them, but her face was one of true caring. She didn't wait for a response. She simply spoke her mind and left the room.

I look at Harm. "Should we tell her that we _are_ trying?"

"I don't know, maybe. Let's stick with one problem at a time. Who committed the crime if we've eliminated the people with the most access to the garage?"

"I don't think that's the first problem that we should be working on. You put away the case in some semblance of order while I call Peggy to see what time we can meet with them tomorrow for a tour of their garage and to have another chat about Dan's case. Right now, we need to get our family over to your mother's."

**BURNETT RESIDENCE **

**DINING ROOM**

**ABOUT 1630**

Frank went into his den and returned with a wooden box the approximate size and shape of a cigar box and asked us all to join him in the dining room.

Once we're all seated, he lifts the lid of the box. "Except for Ty, you all remember making your lists at Christmas, correct?"

We all only nod in response to Frank's question.

"Well, I have those lists here and I'll pass them out." He grasps the envelopes inside the box and begins to distribute them.

There's a sense of anticipation at hearing what others have said that they're thankful for, and the room remains quiet.

"Now, before we say a prayer and eat dinner, we'll share some of the things that we're thankful for. Who wants to go first?" Frank asks.

It's no surprise to any of us that Ty wants to go first. He unfolds his piece of paper. "Do I start saying them now?"

"Yes, you may begin."

"I'm thankful that I turned seven. I'm thankful that I got parents this year. I'm thankful for my big sister and I'm thankful that I got nice grandparents, too. That's all I wrote."

"That's great, Ty, and getting a grandson and granddaughter like you and your sister is at the top of my list," Frank says. "And I'm thankful that our son brought such a wonderful woman into our family and made all this possible."

"I have to say ditto to what Frank said. We have quite a family, and I'm thankful that each and every one of you is part of it," Trish states with a hint of tears in her voice.

Mattie speaks up. "I'm thankful that my accident didn't stop me from being a senior on schedule. I'm thankful that I have grandparents who are so cool. I'm thankful that, not only did Ty get out of the foster home, but he got to be my little brother and I'm thankful that I'm getting to spend what could be the most stressful years of my life with Harm and Mac. I love you guys."

"We love you," Harm says. "I'm thankful..."

Everyone's words are striking a chord in me, but Mattie's words pushed an emotional-limit button, and I'm finding it difficult to keep from crying, so I'm glad that Harm has begun to speak.

"...that I've been lucky enough to be here with my family for most of this past year. And I have to agree with Frank that an extra thank you has to go to you, Mac, for being at the center of it all and making it all possible for Ty, Mattie and me." He reaches for my hand and kisses my cheek. "Thank you."

I can feel the tears in my eyes, but I'm managing to hold them in. "I'm thankful that I have all of you in my life because, for the first time, I feel like I _have_ a family." A lone tear escapes my eye, but Trish saves me from having an emotional meltdown in front of everyone.

"I think that I should get dinner on the table so that we can say grace and eat. I'm famished," Trish says with a little laugh.

**RABB HOME **

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**BEDTIME **

Harm has begun to undress and, as usual, his shoes were the first to go. When he starts to unbutton his shirt, I follow suit and begin to unbutton my blouse, but Harm turns away as if he's trying to avoid watching me.

His behavior isn't something new. It started last month when we started trying to have a baby again. I'd thought that he'd been doing this nightly ritual of looking away as a sign that, though he loves me, he couldn't look at the body that was failing to give him a child. It took a man's story at the WWFC meeting for me to get a different perspective on Harm's behavior.

The man said that he hadn't been brought up in an environment where men talked about their feelings, so he'd found the limitations of intimate contact that are required when attempting in vitro very difficult to handle. For him, at least, lovemaking was a source of comfort. Lovemaking didn't only comfort him from a bad day at work by letting him know that someone was there for him, but he felt as if, when they made love, she forgave him for not being able to give her the one thing that she wanted most.

I've been lost in thought long enough that Harm is down to his boxers while I've removed only my blouse. He turns, surprised that I'm not finished undressing yet. I see his eyes scan my face and fall to my bra-covered breasts. I feel the heat of his intense gaze as his eyes stay focused there.

I move into his personal space and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his face to mine. I'm sure that he feels pounced upon, but when I press my lips to his, there's no resistance.

I kiss him passionately, and his body responds to me, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss in the process. I pull back, breathless, and he drops his arms back to his sides, his act breaking my heart. The man who just kissed me like that didn't want to stop there.

"Harm, make this the perfect Thanksgiving for me. Make love to me."

He doesn't answer me with words, but rather a kiss full of desire and, slowly, he finishes undressing me before he scoops me up and places me on the bed where we spend time taking comfort in each other.

**FRIDAY, NOVEMBER ****24, 2006**

I wake from a refreshing night's sleep. It must have been restful for Harm, too, because he's still asleep.

The corner of my mouth turns up, threatening a smile as my husband's bare chest reminds me of the wonderful night that we shared.

Lovemaking was the perfect end to the day yesterday.

I look down at Harm's handsome face, and his eyes open. "Good morning," he says in a sleepy voice. "I had the best dream ever."

"Yeah, what was it about?" I ask seductively.

"You being here with me," he answers with a grin.

"Well, sir, that was no dream, but we don't have any more time to lie here and enjoy it because we have work to do."

"Do we have to get up?" he whines.

"Yes, we've got children to feed and we're dropping off Ty at Grandpa's so that we can go see Peggy and Dan and figure out this case so that our friends and we can get back to our normal lives. So get up," I say in my command voice.

I throw the covers off of me and get out of bed. I feel his eyes following my naked form as I head to the bathroom to shower.

**KNOX HOME **

**LIVING ROOM**

**SEVERAL HOURS LATER **

We're in the house for all of two minutes and ten seconds before Harm asks to see the garage.

In the garage, Harm and I match the pictures with the locations of things taken by the police. One thing that we notice in the back right corner of the garage is another couple of stacks of storage boxes, identical to the ones sitting next to where the bottle was found. When we return to the living room and ask about the other boxes, we find out that they're files from Peggy's office.

Looking over the case file with Peggy and Dan, in one section of the ER doctor's statement, there's a sentence that catches Harm's attention, 'There are no signs that the toxin was injected,' leading to the question, then how was it administered?

A look at the information that Mattie had gathered from the internet confirms that we remembered her report correctly. Malathion is just as toxic whether it's inhaled, absorbed or ingested. So it occurs to us that, if we can figure out how the poison was administered, perhaps an idea of who did the poisoning will follow.

After more than an hour straight of pouring over reports and either Harm or me asking questions, we keep coming back to the same three questions: Who had access to the garage, how was the poison administered, and who had something to gain from Peggy's illness or death?

"We should take a break," I suggest.

"Yeah, let's take a break and then run through it one more time before we call it a day," Harm says, agreeing with my suggestion.

Peggy says that she thinks that she can come up with some kind of refreshments, and I offer to go to the kitchen with her to help.

She and I are standing in the kitchen when I hear a noise coming from the garage. Peggy hears it, too, and moves to the door that goes out to the garage, opens it without a second thought and pokes her head into the garage enough to address the person there.

"Hey, are you dropping off more files?"

The other voice is muffled, but I can make out her reply. "Yes, I'm dropping off a couple of boxes. Since you've turned down the offer, the proposals are just taking up precious filing space, so one of the boxes has all the documents regarding the proposed sale. I thought that we should hold onto them until at least the end of the year. I mean, he called again today. He'd really like to buy the business by then."

"I don't want to sell. I like being my own boss." She looks at me around the edge of the door and states, "No other advertising company would give me all the time off that I take for fertility treatment appointments." She then turns back towards the garage. "We were just getting ready to sit down to refreshments. You should come in and have something."

"No thanks, maybe next time."

"Okay. Do you need any help?"

"No, I've got it, thanks. I'll see you at the office on Monday."

"Okay, bye."

Peggy closes the entry door and returns to the pantry where she starts to pull out some crackers and cookies to accompany our drinks.

"Peggy, who was that?" I ask.

"My business partner, Tamra Winchester. I'm sure that she would've come in so that I could've introduced you to her if she hadn't received that phone call today about selling the company. She's been trying to talk me into it for months, but I just don't want to sell it, and she's a little upset with me about it." Peggy tells me.

I wasn't hinting at meeting the woman. What was on my mind was that, in all the times that we'd asked Dan and Peggy about who had access to the garage, neither of them had mentioned her business partner.

Since Peggy was kind enough to give me so much information in her response, I have another question now.

"Why doesn't she just sell her half?"

"She doesn't own half. We're business partners, but she owns only thirty percent and I own the rest, and she can't sell her share to anyone without my approval," Peggy informs me.

"And whoever wants to buy it is offering how much for your company?"

"Fifteen million," she answers nonchalantly.

"Forget the drinks and snacks. We need to talk to Harm," I say, grabbing her hand.

I enter the living room and look directly at Harm. "I know who, but we need to figure out how in order to have any hope of proving it."

I tell Harm about what happened while we were in the kitchen, and he agrees that thirty percent of fifteen million - four point five million dollars - is a really good motive.

From the episode in the kitchen, we now know that Ms. Winchester has as much access to the garage as the family does - which means that she had access to the insecticide and the opportunity to get to it whenever she wanted.

Peggy is in shock at the idea of her partner of ten years being the person who's responsible for making her sick. "I've known her longer than my husband," she says in disbelief.

As we continue to talk about the possibility of it being her partner and friend, Peggy supplies us with more pieces of the puzzle, whether she realizes it or not.

We leave the Knox home five hours after we arrived, confident that we've solved the case, but not sure how to prove it.


	117. Chapter 117

**PART SIX **

**MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2006**

**DR. DANIELS OFFICE**

**1600**

It made for a longer than normal day for me, but I took Harm to work this morning so that we'd have only one car leaving from the doctor's office. I'd thought that I was doing it so that I wouldn't have to drive home while I was upset, but here we are again, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test, and I'm ready to hear the news, good or bad.

Harm and I haven't talked about this all weekend. He didn't broach the subject, and I didn't want to think about the possibilities, let alone talk about them. However, I found that not wanting to and not thinking about it were two totally different things. Though Peggy's situation served as a major distraction, it didn't keep the subject from creeping into my mind each and every day. However, even if I managed to keep it at bay during the day, it would invade my dreams.

My mind forcing me to think about the subject turned out to be a good thing. I'm not as anxious as usual while we wait for the doctor, and thinking about it has led me to a reasonable back-up plan. The hurdle that I face if the doctor says that I'm not pregnant is telling Harm and getting him to agree to my alternate plan while making it clear to him that I'm _not_ yet willing to give up on the idea of having a baby.

I think that the idea was planted there by something that Miss Nancy said when we took Ty to see her one last time so that he could say goodbye to her. However, since then, several things have encouraged the idea to grow.

Observing Ty with other children, which gave Miss Nancy's words validity, and hearing the real life stories from others at the WWFC meeting, along with the more personal account that I've heard from Peggy about their struggle for more than a year to conceive, has brought home the reality of how difficult our situation can be and how long it might take without ever reaching our goal. These and a few other reasons have led me to my decision, but it's the loving words from my family on Thanksgiving that's given me the strength to follow through with it.

If I am pregnant, the health of the baby is my only concern. However, the doctor seemed to think that the chances are greater that I'm not expecting, so, as we wait today, I'm rehearsing the way that I want to tell Harm what I want to do and why.

My mind ceases to function when I hear her voice as she enters the room. "Sarah, Harm, I'm sorry that you had to wait through the long holiday weekend, but I'm told that we have a definite answer today."

Dr. Daniels is around her desk and seated in her chair in a flash. "I was with another patient, so let me take a look, and we'll all know the answer." She lifts the top of the file folder and scans the page inside. Then she looks up at us. "I'm sorry, Sarah. You aren't pregnant."

"It's okay. You warned us that this was probably the case."

"But I'm sure that you were hoping that I was wrong. Do you have any questions?" Dr. Daniels asks.

"Does this cause a problem for making another attempt with the next cycle?" I ask.

"No, we can proceed as if the original test was negative..." She pauses. "...unless you need to take a break."

"Not yet, so we'll be seeing you soon." I stand, and Harm follows suit. Even though we were both expecting this answer, I'm sure that we both could use some fresh air, so we thank Dr. Daniels for her time and leave her office.

We walk to the elevator and get on without saying a word. I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what I'm going to say.

"We need to talk about all of this, you know," I state flatly.

"I know...and we will when you're ready," Harm says softly.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking recently, so I am ready. I want you to be ready, too. You'll have your mind on court this evening, but I'm sure that you'll resolve Dan's situation tomorrow at his preliminary hearing. Would tomorrow night be too soon for you?"

"No, I'll be ready," Harm replies.

"Then would you meet me in the den tomorrow night after I finish tucking in Ty?" I ask.

"I'll be there," he responds.

I reach for his hand, and we lace our fingers together. I've taken the first step. I've got twenty-eight hours and forty-one minutes to rehearse the next part.


	118. Chapter 118

**PART SEVEN **

**TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2006**

**SAN DIEGO COUNTY SUPERIOR COURT **

**SAN DIEGO, CA **

The first witness called is the crime lab technician who'd confirmed the source of the poisoning as Malathion.

The lab tech was probably very good at her job, but Dan was lost in all the technical parts per million and variables that she was explaining, but he tried to pay attention as Harm questioned her.

"Does Malathion have a pleasant odor?"

"No, it has a strong, well...chemical smell to it."

"So one wouldn't be able to just put an eye dropper full in a cup of coffee, for instance, without the person drinking it noticing a strange smell coming from their cup, even though they might not recognize the smell."

"Unless their nose was packed with cotton or something, preventing them from smelling it, I don't see how they could miss the unpleasant aroma."

"If it were put in something that had a powerful aroma such as perfume, a scented hand cream, shampoo or an air freshener for instance, could those items with a distinct aroma of their own drown out the odor of the Malathion?"

"A heavy or distinct scent could conceal it."

"Conceal it enough to go undetected by the human nose?"

"A combination of the dilution of the Malathion by the item to which it was being added and the fact that the items you mentioned would be kept farther away from the nose than say the coffee in your earlier question, I'd say that it's possible that the smell could go undetected."

"Malathion is toxic by absorption into the body through the skin, so you wore gloves when running your tests, correct?" Harm asks.

"Yes."

"So someone would wear gloves to handle the bottle to dilute it for even a legitimate use, correct?"

"They should."

"So there's a logical reason why there's only one set of fingerprints on the bottle. Mr. Knox bought the insecticide in the mid-eighties to spray his backyard to protect against the fruit fly, so the only time that someone wouldn't wear gloves to handle the bottle was when the bottle was new and was being purchased at a local home improvement store."

"Objection, counsel is testifying."

"Sustained."

"Is it true that Malathion is in an elite group that's just as toxic whether it's ingested, inhaled or absorbed into the system?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Is it true that, when Malathion breaks down, it becomes maloaxon, which is more than sixty times more toxic than Malathion?"

"It does break down into maloaxon and it is more toxic," the witness answers.

"I have no more questions for this witness, your honor."

Dan was feeling a little sick to his stomach as the lab technician stepped down from the witness box. This was going too slowly to suit him. This wasn't a mock hearing to give anyone a civics lesson. It was his life that was hanging in the balance.

Dan took a sip of the water from his glass on the table, trying to rid himself of the dry 'cotton mouth' that he was experiencing as the next witness, the doctor who'd overseen Peggy's treatment at Mercy Hospital, took the stand.

The doctor's testimony was just as technical and filled with a lot of medical jargon, so Dan was thankful when it didn't drag on, but when it was Harm's turn, Dan became very attentive, hoping to see this "great lawyer" stuff that he'd been told that Harm possessed.

"Dr. Washington, what are the symptoms of someone who has Malathion in their system, but at a lower level than Mrs. Knox had when she was tested at the hospital?" Harm asked.

"Some of the symptoms of low-level toxicity include nausea, vomiting, headache, loss of appetite and dizziness."

"And at high levels such as those in Mrs. Knox's system?"

"Among the symptoms of high-level toxicity would be confusion, agitation, abdominal cramping, sweating and hypoxia, resulting in a bluish color of the skin."

"Doctor, can you tell us how the Malathion got into Mrs. Knox's system?"

"Since a thorough exam of Mrs. Knox revealed no puncture wounds, I can say with certainty only that it wasn't injected."

"Is it true that Malathion is one of an elite group of poisons that's just as toxic whether it's ingested, inhaled or absorbed into the system?"

"Yes, that's correct," the doctor replies.

"Since a few of the minor symptoms of Malathion poisoning are nausea, vomiting and headache, could someone be suffering from low-level toxicity and believe that they have the flu?"

"Yes, at low levels, a person might think that they have the flu."

"How long would it take for a person to reach a high level of toxicity from Malathion?"

"It would depend on how much of the toxin the body took in," the doctor answers.

"So, let me be sure that I understand. Let's say that there's some in my wife's perfume. I gave it to her for her birthday, so, even though she thinks that the scent isn't really her, she's going to use it anyway for a couple of weeks because it was a gift. Would that result in her having the high levels found in Mrs. Knox?"

"It would depend on the amount of Malathion put in the bottle. For instance, was any perfume poured out to add more Malathion or was it simply added to make the bottle appear as if it had been filled to the top by the manufacturer? " the doctor asks.

"Objection, Your Honor. What relevance does this have on the case?" the prosecutor says, rising from his chair.

"The prosecution has offered no evidence to show how Mr. Knox exposed his wife to the poison without becoming ill himself. I'm trying to establish how this could happen, Your Honor," Harm explains.

"Sounds like he's doing your job for you, Counselor. Objection overruled," the judge declares.

"Let's say that the perfume..." Harm reaches for an evidence bag from the table in front of the judge's bench. "...was contaminated with one eye dropper full of Malathion, an eye dropper like this one marked exhibit A. Would it result in the high levels found in Mrs. Knox?"

"In that scenario, probably not," the doctor replies.

"Please explain."

"In your scenario, the perfume is used within a couple of weeks of being contaminated with the Malathion, thus the breakdown has really only just begun. Even if it were to be completely broken down, since you said that she wasn't fond of the scent, she may use it, but more than likely not the usual amount. For instance, if she's a perfume wearer, she probably applies it behind each ear and on each wrist. However, if she finds the scent unpleasant, she'd wear it only on her wrists."

"Away from her nose and in a location that would be easy for her wave under the nose of the person who gave it to her and make a comment on the gift. Something like, 'This is the perfume you gave me. Isn't it a unique fragrance?' Is something like that what you mean?" Harm asks.

"Yes."

"You mentioned the Malathion breaking down. You mean into the more toxic maloaxon, correct?"

"Correct."

"So, in my example, let's say that my wife used it for six to eight weeks. Would it be likely that she'd suffer from high-level toxicity then?"

"Again, without knowing the exact concentration or the amount of exposure, it's hard to be certain."

"Do you think that she'd suffer from any symptoms of toxicity?"

"It would be likely that she'd suffer from at least some symptoms of low-level toxicity."

"Which would give her the flu-like symptoms that we discussed earlier?"

"Correct."

"Thank you, Doctor. I have no further questions.

As the doctor stepped down from the witness stand, Dan was having regrets about having Harm as his attorney. Moments ago, the judge had said that Harm was doing the prosecution's job. Harm was supposed to be defending him, not helping to get him convicted. 'Why did I go along with letting this military lawyer defend me?' Dan thought as the prosecution called their next witness, Detective Parker.

Detective Parker's testimony was easier to follow, though difficult for Dan to hear. The prosecution's sole purpose for having him on the stand was to recount the steps in the investigation that had led to the arrest of Daniel Knox.

Once the prosecution had asked their questions of Detective Parker, it was Harm's turn.

"Detective Parker, you said that you found the bottle of Malathion on the floor with the eye dropper next to it between two stacks of file boxes. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Which set of file boxes were they?"

"They were the file boxes that were stacked to the left of the door that allows entry into the house."

"Were there any other boxes in the garage?" Harm asks.

Detective Parker looks at his notes. "Yes, in the right hand corner of the garage."

"In your testimony, you said that you established that the boxes between which the Malathion had been found belonged to Mr. Knox. Did you ask who the identical file boxes in the right hand corner belonged to?"

"We assumed that, since they were identical, they also belonged to Mr. Knox."

"After the police lab had verified that Malathion poisoning was the cause of Mrs. Knox's illness, did you search the Knox home, Mr. and Mrs. Knox's offices and cars for evidence of how the poison was administered to Mrs. Knox without anyone else in the house or her office becoming ill as well?"

"Since the poison can be administered in multiple ways, we had no idea of what to look for in a search and, if it was administered by something that was ingested, that evidence would be gone. We had the bottle with the defendant's fingerprints on it, and the eyedropper found with it contained Malathion, so it's reasonable to assume that it was used to put the poison into something. The fact that Mr. Knox would receive a considerable amount of money upon Mrs. Knox's death gave us the motive. All of that resulted in making any further search unnecessary."

"Were the defendant's fingerprints found on the eyedropper?" Harm asks.

"No."

"Do you know that most poisonings are done by women and not men?"

"Yes, I do, but most doesn't mean that all poisonings are committed by women," Detective Parker replies.

"You say that Mr. Knox's motive was money. 'He wanted to be debt free and live the good life again.' Isn't that how you stated it in your testimony a few minutes ago?"

"I did."

"What is the balance of Mr. and Mrs. Knox's personal checking account?"

"I don't recall the exact amount."

"Do you remember if the balance was more or less than ten thousand dollars?"

"More."

"I have here a statement from the Knox's bank that says that the average balance in their personal account is twelve thousand dollars. I'd like for it to be entered into evidence."

"It will be labeled as defense exhibit one," the judge remarks.

"Also in the letter, the bank manager states that Mr. and Mrs. Knox each have a business account, an IRA account, a savings account and a college fund for their daughter, Jenny. If your contention is that Mr. Knox needed the money, how did you arrive at that conclusion? Are they behind on the mortgage payments on their home or have excessive credit card debt?"

"No, but that savings account that you mentioned that Mr. Knox inherited when his father died three years ago has had twenty thousand dollars withdrawn from it about every five weeks for approximately the last eighteen months, reducing the account from a half a million dollars to less than two hundred thousand. The million-dollar life insurance policy of which Mr. Knox is the sole beneficiary would more than recoup that money, even after he'd paid for a very nice funeral. In addition, Mrs. Knox's business partner overheard a heated argument between Mr. and Mrs. Knox about continuing to try to have a baby since the efforts were draining them both financially and emotionally. So there you have a second motive. He wanted to quit trying, and Mrs. Knox didn't."

"Is the million-dollar policy that you mentioned the only insurance policy that Mrs. Knox has on her life?"

"No, Mrs. Knox has another policy for two hundred thousand dollars to cover operating expenses for the business for one year, giving her partner time to come up with the funds to buy Mrs. Knox's share from her estate."

"Who controls the funds for that policy?"

"Those funds would be held in trust and distributed by Mrs. Knox's attorney, so her business partner wouldn't benefit from Mrs. Knox's death, if that's what you're trying to suggest." Detective Parker sounded annoyed as he answered.

"No, but she would need to come up with about ten and a half million dollars to buy Mrs. Knox's share of the business, assuming that the offer that Mrs. Knox received in July for fifteen million dollars is close to the current market value of the business, correct?"

"Off the top of my head, I'm not sure of the exact dollar amount, but it sounds right since Mrs. Knox owns seventy percent of the business."

"That's all I have for Detective Parker, Your Honor."

Detective Parker wasn't sure where the line of questioning was going that the defense counsel had started, but he left the witness stand thinking that he'd missed something in his investigation. Yes, he had the definite impression that the defense attorney knew something that he didn't. Ms. Winchester, the business partner, was due to take the stand next.

Detective Parker decided that he had time to stay for a few minutes longer, so he took a seat near the attractive Colonel MacKenzie in the gallery to watch and listen. He'd been able to take the colonel's name off the suspect list that Monday when he'd questioned Mrs. Knox about the colonel's inquisitive nature, done a background check on her and found that her inquisitive mind wasn't a reason to suspect her of trying to cover up any involvement in the crime, but rather a natural bleed-over from her professional to her personal life. Unfortunately, his relief at being able to remove her as a suspect or accomplice was replaced with disappointment when, upon verifying the information that Mrs. Knox had supplied, he'd found out that the colonel was also known by another name, Mrs. Rabb, and therefore, she wasn't single.

Dan was getting antsy. They'd been in court for what seemed like forever, and he wasn't a free man yet. It was always so dramatic and entertaining to watch when Perry Mason cross-examined a witness, but watching Harm ask questions and then sit back down wasn't dramatic or entertaining. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that his freedom was on the line, he'd say that it wasn't even very interesting, and Dan was losing more faith in Harm's abilities as a lawyer with each passing moment.

Tamra Winchester, an attractive brunette in her early forties, divorced with two children, walked to the stand with confidence. Since witnesses are held in seclusion before testifying, she has no idea about what Harm has asked the other witnesses. She's unaware that, after the prosecution gets her testimony about the argument between Dan and his wife into the record, Harm has laid the groundwork to put her in the hot seat.

Harm and Dan both know that Harm has no physical evidence to prove that Ms. Winchester poisoned Dan's wife, but, on Friday, Harm had explained that he could create enough doubt in the mind of the judge to get the charges against Dan dismissed, even if he didn't prove that Ms. Winchester had poisoned Peggy.

Harm was very confident that he was going to win this case, but he didn't think that his client's nerves were going to hold up to much more courtroom drama. Therefore, waiting for the prosecution to get Ms. Winchester's testimony about the argument that she'd overheard into the record was excruciatingly difficult to sit through, but at last the prosecutor completed his questioning and turned the witness over to Harm for cross-examination.

Harm starts out slowly, asking seemingly innocent questions.

"Ms. Winchester, where did you meet Mrs. Knox?"

"We met the first day of college. She was assigned as my dorm roommate."

"Have you ever been to the Knox home?"

"Yes, of course I have. We're friends."

"Do you have the access code to enter their garage?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever entered the garage when no one was home?"

"Yes, to drop off office files for storage, and last year when they went away for a few days, I checked on the house to make sure that everything was okay while they were away."

"Did you two become business partners immediately after college?"

"No, we didn't become business partners until ten years ago."

"But didn't Mrs. Knox start the business within a year after graduation?" Harm asks.

"She did."

"Then how or why did you become her partner ten years ago?"

"I married not long after college and had two children, but ten years ago, the marriage ended. I hadn't been working for years and I was finding it hard to find a job. I was telling Peggy about my troubles one day over lunch, and she said that she had the perfect solution for me. She'd sell me part of her business. I could get back into the swing of things and have part interest in the company at the same time. As part of my divorce settlement, my wealthy ex-husband gave me the money to buy thirty percent of Della Advertising."

"You draw a nice salary from the company, correct?"

"It isn't the six figures that Peggy earns, but it's nice, yes."

Ms. Winchester couldn't have answered that question any better. It was time to start zeroing in on her motive. "Have you ever thought about selling your share of the company?"

"I have, but I can't sell out without the buyer having Peggy's approval, so I'd have to find someone who's compatible with her personality, her ethics, her...everything, so I'm not sure that there's another person out there who would be acceptable to her."

"Have you ever asked Mrs. Knox to buy your thirty percent?" Harm asks.

"I did, but she said that she was having a cash flow problem and couldn't afford to do it at the time I asked."

"Didn't she offer to buy your share over time?"

"Yes, she suggested that I go ahead and return to school full-time if that's what I wanted to do. She'd buy my share of the business over time by increasing my current salary per year by ten percent to be paid out twice per month as my regular salary is now, but instead of paychecks, she'd be paying me for my share of the business. The payments would continue on long enough that, not only would I have income through my time in school, but also a few years past that, giving me time to get firmly established in my new career."

"You declined this offer?" Harm asks.

"I did."

The prosecutor was getting ready to stand and object on the basis of relevance, but the mention of money changed his mind. In the prosecutor's office, he'd found that most crimes were committed for love or money, so his curiosity had him wanting to see where the defense was taking this line of questioning.

"But you found a possible solution, didn't you...a buyer for the entire company?" Harm continued questioning.

"Yes, I thought that it was the perfect solution. She'd have plenty of both time and money to have the baby that she's obsessing about, and I'd be able to pursue a new chapter in my life now that my children are grown."

"But Mrs. Knox didn't want to sell, correct?"

"Correct."

Did she give you a reason why she didn't want to sell?"

"She said that she didn't see why she couldn't have it all: the business that she's worked so hard to build to what it is, a nice home and a family with a new baby."

"At that time, she acknowledged your contribution to the company over the last ten years and suggested that you make her a counter offer to her earlier proposal so that you could move on. Is that true?"

"Yes, she did say that."

"Did you give perfume to Peggy Knox for her birthday the last week of July?"

"I believe so."

"And when she had the flu in September and couldn't work for several weeks, didn't you give her a gift basket of bath oils and hand cream to welcome her back to work?"

"Yes, but I don't understand why all this matters."

It was time for the prosecutor to voice his concern. "Your Honor, I have to agree. What does her gift giving have to do with the case at hand?"

"Because I don't believe that you've charged the right person," Harm replies with confidence.

"Counsel, please approach the bench," the judge says.

When both counselors have reached the bench, the judge addresses Harm. "Please explain, Mr. Rabb."

"Your Honor, I believe the prosecution has the correct motive, but because it isn't a traceable amount in a bank account or insurance funds, it was overlooked that Ms. Winchester has a financial bone to pick with the victim. It's my theory that the perfume that Ms. Winchester gave Mrs. Knox for her birthday was laced with Malathion. The birthday was only three weeks after Mrs. Knox declined the offer to sell the business. After several weeks of use, Mrs. Knox became ill and thought that she was suffering from the flu. She stayed at home to recover and began to feel better -"

"- Because she wasn't going into work and putting the perfume on regularly," the prosecutor continued, picking up on the theory.

"Yes, and since the perfume didn't get the desired results, Ms. Winchester gave her the bath products laced with Malathion to try to finish the job."

"I'm going to give you a little leeway and let you ask a few more questions, but let's wrap it up, Mr. Rabb," the judge says before he waves counsel away from the bench.

Harm notices the prosecutor talking to his aide at the table, and then she stands and seeks out Detective Parker. Harm has put the wheels of justice into motion by getting the police involved in the case again to dig for information to counter his defense theory, which he hopes will lead to evidence that will prove that his theory is correct.

Harm had no evidence to turn over to the police. Peggy was indeed a perfume wearer and enjoyed baths, so those items were gone, and the hand cream couldn't be found. Peggy said that she'd left it at the office for use and had used it a couple of times, but it wasn't anywhere close to being empty. Harm was hoping that the police would find the missing hand cream in Mrs. Winchester's desk or home. Not wanting to leave the matter to the police, Harm hoped to get Ms. Winchester to confess.

Harm turned back to the witness on the stand. "Where was I? Oh yes, the gifts that you gave to the victim."

"I still don't see what giving my friend gifts has to do with her husband trying to kill her."

Harm didn't think that Ms. Winchester's intent had been to kill Peggy, just make her sick enough that she'd want or need to sell the business, but it was only speculation on his part, so Harm was going to accuse her of attempting to kill her to see if she'd slip up and confess to trying to make her sick.

"You know why I'm asking. You gave her all of those gifts laced with Malathion, knowing that, when she was dead, you could talk her husband into selling the business, and you could take your four and a half million dollars and not look back."

"I wasn't trying to kill Peggy."

Harm was pleased. She didn't deny giving her gifts that were laced with poison. She'd said that she wasn't trying to kill her. Harm had her where he wanted her. She was looking uneasy, and little beads of sweat were starting to appear on her brow. So it was time to rapid fire the questions at her so she wouldn't have time to think before she answered.

"My biggest question is why you put the bottle between the stacks of files. Why did you want to frame her husband for the murder?"

"I wasn't trying to frame Dan and I wasn't trying to kill his wife. She's my friend," she wails.

"Do you think that, if she were sick enough, she'd want to sell the business?" Harm asks her.

"I suppose."

"So you weren't trying to kill her. You just wanted her weak enough to give in to your pressure to sell the business, but why frame Dan for it?"

"I wasn't framing Dan. I heard someone coming and I just put it down out of the way. I just didn't get back in time to remove it before the police confiscated it."

Tamra Winchester knew that she'd just made a fatal error and broke down into tears. "I didn't want to kill Peggy and I didn't want to frame Dan. The two of them were the only ones who stood by me when my husband left me. I lied about wanting to go back to school. I needed the money to pay off my debts. I've been trying to live like I did when I was married and had all his money, but with my children grown and no more child support coming in, it didn't take long for me to get in over my head. The bill collectors have been calling my house for months. I just wanted it to stop. The sale of the business was going to get me out of debt and let me take a nice vacation to try to forget the last year." Her tears turned to sobs. "I'm so sorry, Dan." She looked into the gallery. "Peggy, please forgive me."

The judge called for the bailiff to take Tamra Winchester into custody before he announced that the charges against Dan Knox were being dropped and that court was adjourned.

Dan stood and shook Harm's hand, offering him his thanks before Peggy and I joined them at the defendant's table.

"I told you that he was good," I say proudly.

Peggy and Dan must have told Harm and me thank you about a dozen times and invited us to a celebratory dinner before we all left the courtroom.

Walking from the courtroom to the exit doors of the courthouse, I'm able to speak to Peggy without the men hearing.

"Peggy, I think that we should have dinner another time. I think that you and Dan need some time alone. Sometimes when something like this happens to people, it causes a shift in what a person or a couple needs or wants. I think that you two should spend some time talking about what you really want now that this is over."

"I think that's a good idea. You and Harm have a good evening. I'll call you in a couple of days."

"Do that so we can set up a lunch date," I reply.

I'm relieved that Peggy wasn't more insistent on having dinner. Harm and I need to have a talk of our own tonight.

I give Harm a quick peck on the lips. "Thank you for helping them," I say as we watch Peggy and Dan walk down the courthouse steps.

"Anything to make you happy," Harm says to me with a smile.

I hope that he'll still feel that way after I tell him tonight about the decision that I've arrived at in our quest to have a baby.

"We both have to check in at work, so I'll see you at home tonight."

He gives me a kiss. "I'll be looking forward to it."

**RABB HOME **

**DEN **

**LATE EVENING **

With Ty all tucked into bed, it's time to meet Harm in the den for our talk. I spent the rest of Monday and all day today thinking about it. I know that it's the right choice, but will Harm agree?

I enter the den, and Harm has a fire going and a blanket spread on the floor in front of the fireplace. He pats the blanket beside him, and I accept the space that he's offering by sitting in the place that he indicated moments ago.

After I'm comfortably seated, I begin. "Harm, I want to suggest a change of plan as far as increasing the size of our family is concerned." I'm nervous and I stop to gather my thoughts.

"If you want to stop the in vitro, I understand," he says sincerely.

"Please let me get everything out that I want to say first...please?" The look in Harm's eyes gives me his agreement. I take a deep breath. "If we knew when or if I'd get pregnant, I might feel differently about this, but the reality is that we could try for years without success. I want Tyler to have a sibling."

I can't look Harm in the eye when I expose my insecurity, so I stare into the flames of the fire before continuing. "I'd like to say that I've grown enough to be okay with a surrogate, but I haven't. I don't want another woman to have your baby. I'm not ready to stop trying yet, but I want to call Mrs. Morales and start the process for adopting another child now." I venture a look into Harm's eyes.

"You do understand that there wouldn't be any physical contact between me and the surrogate, right?"

"I know. I'm sorry, but I just can't, at least not yet, and I don't want Ty to suffer because of it. I think that Miss Nancy was right. He's used to being with other children closer to his age than Mattie is. I don't want him to be unhappy, Harm."

"I don't think that he is, but I understand what you're saying." Harm takes me into his arms. "It was pretty stressful to try to have a baby with Ty living with us before his adoption was final. This time, you'll be trying to juggle work, caring for the family that we already have, trying to have a baby, and settling in another child. Are you sure that you want to adopt again?"

I relax in his arms. "Yes, but you should take the time to think it over and decide if you want to do it, too."

I suddenly tense in his arms when a thought occurs to me. "But I don't want you to agree just because you want me to be happy. I want you to really think about it, okay?"

I look into his eyes and respond to the loving look that he's casting my way by pressing my lips to his, hoping that he understands that I'll love him no matter what he decides, but hoping that he understands my desire to have it all.


	119. Chapter 119

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - CHRISTMAS IN THE COUNTRY**

**PART ONE **

**FRIDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2006**

I thought that kids were the only ones who asked questions on long trips, but not in my family. In my family, my wife is just as inquisitive as my children.

On the plane from San Diego to Pittsburgh where we were to make our connecting flight, most of the questions were from Ty. Among them, "Why did we have to fly to Pittsburgh if we wanted to go to Belleville?" and "Does your grandma cook like you or like Mom?"

You'd think that an airport or airplane question would be easy for me to answer, but not necessarily so.

I started with the fact the Belleville is a small town and wasn't big enough to have an airport. That was okay, but then I started talking in technical terms and I could tell by Ty's expression that he wasn't interested in that much detail. I used to listen to my dad tell me all the technical stuff. I'll give you that I didn't always understand what he was saying, but I was interested in hearing it. So, from Ty's response, I don't think that my son is going to be a flyer.

I did finally get out an answer that satisfied him and, with enough technical information about runway lengths, I felt like I'd given him a complete answer.

The cooking question response had all three sets of ears listening for the answer. All three of them were happy to hear that Grandma Rabb 'cooked like Mom,' meaning that she was a firm believer in red meat, so they could expect some kind of dead animal for dinner, and bacon or sausage for breakfast in the mornings.

After the plane change for the commuter flight to the smaller airport about thirty miles from the farm, it was Mac who had questions. All of Mac's questions were about whether I thought that my grandmother would like her and how she'd feel about our children since there wasn't a blood tie to the Rabb family.

I tried not to sound cliché when I answered her, but I'm not sure that I was successful when I said, "My grandmother will love you and our family because I love you."

Her face went from an insecure expression to a sweet smile, and I placed a quick kiss on her lips. "You have nothing to worry about," I added.

Her smile grew wider. "I can't wait to meet your grandmother," she said before resting her head against my shoulder. A handful of heartbeats later, she added, "And I hope that this visit helps you find the answers you seek."

I leaned back in my seat. I'd asked everyone if they wanted to go to the farm for a country Christmas and, if it's like I remember as a child, we'd have a good chance of having a white Christmas. I'm not sure that I knew then why I made that suggestion. Although, after I made the flight arrangements, I became aware that I needed this trip for a different reason...but how did she know that I needed this trip for something other than snow at Christmastime?

It was three weeks ago this past Tuesday that Mac dropped a bombshell on me – she wants to adopt another child.

I certainly don't have anything against adoption. I love Tyler like he's my own flesh and blood, but I was hoping that the next addition to the family would be _our_ child.

Mac said that she doesn't want to stop trying to have a baby, but, with the 'when' or 'if' it will happen concerns that she has, she said that she wants to adopt now to give Ty a sibling, but if the 'if' and 'when' are her concerns, why can't we use a surrogate to have a child? I don't understand her 'hang up' about using a surrogate since it addresses her issues of if and when, and it gives us a baby, too - win/win. By the time she'd finished stating her case that night, I wasn't as sure that my first reaction to say no was still my answer, but I hadn't been swayed to a yes answer, either.

After a couple of days of being easily distracted by the smallest thing, I asked everyone about making this trip so that we could get away for a few days. I didn't tell anyone that it was also so that I could think, and there's only one place that has the right atmosphere to work through something this important – the Rabb farm.

The Rabb farm is for me what Red Rock Mesa is for Mac, and I needed to be there to clear my head.

We haven't discussed the topic of adoption since that night, in part because our life has been so hectic since just before Thanksgiving, but I know that it will come up again and I need to have an answer. I might have had it figured out by now if our lives hadn't become more hectic around the first of December, and the holiday season wasn't the only cause.

The first weekend of December, we got a hint that all wasn't well between Mattie and Paul when she didn't go out with him all weekend. When Mac asked her if they'd broken up, Mattie replied, "We're still together. I'm just not speaking to him this weekend." It was an answer that seemed to make sense to Mac, but it sure didn't explain the problem to me.

Another important event was Mattie's eighteenth birthday, which included a surprise visit from Mattie's father.

Tom had gifts for Mattie and news for all of us - he'd sold Grace Aviation.

December is a month when the kids are out of school, so since Tom was sober, Mac and I agreed to let him stay in the guesthouse, allowing him and Mattie to see each other as much as possible during his visit.

When he left a week later, he handed me an oversized manila envelope with the instruction that I'm to open it on Christmas and reveal its contents.

Tom's demeanor and pale color during his stay gave credence to Mattie's worry that her father is sick.

In addition to Mattie's concerns, Mac had her usual medical appointments and procedures for this month's attempt to have a baby.

Suffice it to say, I believe that we're all in a need of a little R&R.

**RENTED MINIVAN **

**HWY 655, approximately ten miles from the Rabb farm **

**BELLEVILLE, PA**

**1500**

As I've been driving, I've been thinking about how this trip came to be and how the need for it has grown over the last few weeks.

Finally, we're about ten minutes from the turn-off to the Rabb farm. No sooner have I informed my 'Are we there yet?' passengers that we're about fifteen minutes away from our destination, when the road in front of us becomes a sea of brake lights.

"I thought we left traffic jams in San Diego?" Mac teases.

"This is farm country out here, so maybe we're stuck behind a tractor," I reply.

The good news is that, even though it's slow-going, we're moving.

I'm wondering, as we travel at a snail's pace, how I'll make this up to the three of them if they don't have fun while we're here, because the trip was entirely my idea.

It's taken fifteen minutes, but we've finally put a full three miles behind us, and that's when we see the unmistakable flashing colored lights of police cars.

I scan the road from side to side, looking for skid marks, damaged cars or any signs of a crash. I don't see anything, but it may be that the accident has been cleared. and we're just in the remnants of the traffic backup that the accident caused.

I glance at Mac and get the feeling that she's done the same scan of the area that I've done.

"It looks like we're only about a mile from the police cars, so we should know something about what happened in a few minutes if we're able to maintain our current speed," Mac comments.

"If it was an accident, I hope that no one got hurt," Ty says.

"I hope that, too," Mac says to Ty in response as our rental car inches forward towards the answer.

There are no signs of an accident as we move closer to the police cars. We're finally close enough to see that the police are stopping every car. There appears to be two sets of officers. One set of officers speaks to the driver of the first car in line, the second set speaks to the driver of the second car, and when both cars pull away, they wave up the next two cars.

There are four cars in front of us now, so we'll be finding out what's going on from the officers at the front of the line. The better news is that, in front of the police cars, the road is clear, and we'll be at the Rabb farm in no time once we get past the police blockade.

The two cars in front of us have pulled up into place. Mac pulls the rental car contract out of the glove box and places it on the console between us. "I've seen them passing something out the window. I think they'll want to see your license and the car's registration," Mac says with a smile.

Trying to lighten the mood in the car, I attempt a Maxwell Smart imitation. "The old license and registration trick, hey," I say as I reach for my wallet to get out my license.

Mac giggles at my attempt. "Do you think that Chaos is behind this?" she asks.

"Perhaps," I reply with a grin as I put down my window to speak to the sheriff's deputies, and I'm amazed that, with all that's happened in the last several weeks, we can still manage to make each other smile.

Our game ends as I let my foot off the brake to roll into position to talk to the deputy.

"Your license and registration, please."

"It's a rental. So here's the rental contract and my license."

"Where are you headed today?"

"My grandmother's place...a few miles down the road."

He flips the car rental contract up to see the name and vehicle type and looks at the car to verify that the minivan is the right car. Internally, I'm wondering who would steal a minivan. Then he looks back at the rental contract and my driver's license. I'm sure that he's checking that the name on the rental agreement is the same as the name on my license, but the odd expression that comes over his face has me a little concerned. Before I can ask if there's a problem, he speaks into the radio mic on his shoulder.

"Hey, Charlie, come to car one."

I look at Mac, and she's obviously amused. "Definitely the work of Chaos," she says with a grin.

A sheriff's car comes up on the shoulder of the road to our left. A lean, older man gets out of the car and approaches our minivan.

The young officer who asked for my license and registration hands me the rental contract, but hands my driver's license to the older officer, saying, "The license says that his name is Harmon Rabb. He said that he was headed to his grandmother's place. I thought you'd want to see him for yourself."

The older man looks at me and shoves my license at me without even looking at it. "I don't need his license. I knew his father, and he's the spitting image of him," he tells the younger sheriff. "Are you going to be staying with your grandmother for a few days?" he asks me.

"Yes, sir, through the 26th."

"Glad to hear it. We've got our hands full right now with all this." He waves his hand towards the rear of our car, indicating the growing line behind us. "I try to get her way at least once a day to check on her, but with this situation, I was worried that I wasn't going to have the time to do it myself or the manpower to send someone else, so I'm glad that you'll be staying with her. Do me a favor and tell her that, since you and you're family will be there, I won't be stopping by until after Christmas, okay?"

"I'll tell her. Can you tell me what 'this situation' is?"

"I think we're supposed to be keeping a lid on it, but since you're Mrs. Rabb's grandson, I don't think that it would hurt none to tell you. Why don't you come over to my car and let your wife move the car over there…" He points to the shoulder of the road to our right. "…so my boys can get the line moving again while I talk to you?"

Before I get out of the car, I look at Mac and get a nod that she'll move the car while I get the information from the sheriff.

Once I'm out of the rental, the sheriff and I move towards his car. The sheriff doesn't say anything about why the checkpoint is in place as we walk, opting to tell a story about him and my dad going down to the creek in back of my grandma's place to fish.

By the time we reach his police car, Mac has gotten behind the wheel of the rental and is moving the car off to the shoulder of the road to wait for me.

The sheriff leans against his car and then tells me why he's set up the checkpoint, at least as much as the state police have told him.

With the messages that he's asked me to deliver to my grandmother, I don't feel that I'm asking too much when I ask him to let me know if they get any more information about the situation before we part company, and I cross the road to my waiting family to finish our journey to the Rabb farm.

When I get into the car, the look on Mac's face says that she wants to know what the sheriff said, but it'll have to wait. I don't want to tell her in front of the children.

Knowing that I won't get away with jumping in the car and not saying anything, I say as I get settled behind the wheel, "The sheriff said that it's clear ahead, so we should be at the Rabb farm in less than ten minutes."

My statement isn't enough to pacify Mattie though, and she asks, "Why are they stopping everyone?"

"They're looking for a stolen car," I answer. It isn't a lie, but it isn't the complete truth, either.

**RABB FARM**

According to Mac, it's seven minutes and thirteen seconds before we turn onto the gravel road that leads to the farmhouse, and another two minutes and ten seconds before the sight of the faded yellow house with white trim where the original Sarah Rabb has lived for many, many years comes into view.

Eager to finally get out of the car, if for no other reason than to stretch our legs, the doors of the minivan open, and everyone gets out.

Everyone is standing by the car and looking around when my grandmother comes out of the house.

With me in her sights, my grandmother starts to move towards me.

"Harm, I was starting to worry. I was thinking that you'd found trouble on your way here. You've always had a knack for finding it."

"I don't look for it. It finds me, Grandma," I say with a big grin and a chuckle.

"You're here now, so let's argue about that another time," she says as she embraces me with a grip that one wouldn't expect from a woman her age, but the embrace is brief, and she immediately turns to Mac.

"Mac, this is my grandmother, the original Sarah Rabb. Grandma, this is -"

She cuts me off. "I don't know why you insist on calling such a pretty girl Mac." She moves a little closer to her, taking both of Mac's hands in hers. "Do you mind if I call you Sarah?"

"No, I don't mind."

Mac barely gets out her reply before my grandmother has her in the same kind of bear hug embrace that she had me in a moment ago. Then my grandmother pulls away and looks at the children who've stayed near Mac.

Grandma has Mattie in her sights next. "And you must be Mattie. I've heard a lot about you. I must say that you're prettier in person. The pictures that I've seen don't do you justice."

"Thank you," Mattie replies shyly.

After Grandma bestows a hug on Mattie, her eyes drop to the shortest member of the family, "And you must be Tyler. Excuse me, I'm told that you prefer Ty."

"Yes, ma'am, but what do I call you...'cause I already have a grandma."

My grandmother smiles at him. "Well, let's see. I'm your Great Grandma Rabb, but that does seem like a mouthful for such a little boy, and I'm guessing that you call Harm's mother grandma, so we'll have to think on it and come up with something else, won't we? You know, I've missed the inquisitive mind of a little boy around this place. You already remind me of Harm when he was little, Ty."

"Harm was actually little once?" Mattie asks teasingly with a grin.

My grandmother laughs. "Yes, he wasn't born that size, and I have pictures to prove it."

"My dad was once my size?" Ty asks as if he doesn't quite believe that it's possible.

"He sure was. I'll show you the pictures after dinner if you'd like."

My thought is, 'Maybe this trip wasn't such a good idea, because everyone seems to be elated that I was once a little boy and there are pictures of me to prove it. Oh, I hope that she doesn't have pictures of me as a teenager.'

My grandmother gets excited nods from the children concerning her after-dinner activity idea, and Mac adds, "That would be very nice."

The conversation is interrupted by a big brown dog, barreling at us at full speed from inside the house. "Cocoa, no," my grandmother commands of the animal, and it obeys, stopping on a dime and sitting at her feet. "How did you get out?" she asks as if the dog could answer. "I must have left the door open just enough, huh?" she says to the dog while giving it a pat on the head. "Well, everyone, this is my dog, Cocoa. She keeps me company out here."

"Can I pet her?" Ty asks.

"Of course." The words are barely out of her mouth before Ty is patting Cocoa on the head. "You know, she's still a pup, not quite two, and I really can't play with her the way she likes. She loves to run. Would you do me a favor and run around in the yard with her to keep her out of the way while we get your things inside?"

Ty looks at me. "Stay here in the front yard," I reply, grinning and giving him a nod.

"Come on, Cocoa," he says before he makes a dash off the gravel driveway into the middle of the front yard with the chocolate lab following.

"Now, ladies, let's go inside where it's considerably warmer while Harm brings in your things."

I move to the rear of the minivan to get out our bags, hearing Mac speak. "You two go ahead. I'll be right in. I want to get my tote bag so that I can freshen up a bit, if you don't mind," she says.

She isn't fooling me. She's making an excuse to stay behind to see what the sheriff had to say now that Mattie will be inside and Ty is in the yard a few feet away, but out of hearing range.

I'm right because, no sooner do I have the hatch open than Mac is by my side. "What did the sheriff say that they were really looking for?"

"A stolen car and its contents." Mac looks at me, wanting more details. "You want the whole story?" She folds her arms over her chest and nods affirmatively.

"It seems that a mother stopped at a convenience store this morning to buy milk on her way home from taking her other two children to school. Since it was cold and windy, she left her sleeping four-year-old in the backseat. When she came out of the store, the car and her daughter were gone. The police were called, and a surveillance camera trained on the parking lot recorded a man getting into the car and driving away. They aren't sure that the man even knew that the little girl was in the car. That's all the information that the sheriff had at the moment."

"Oh, no," Mac gasps as she looks at me with fear in her eyes for the missing girl. "Is there anything that we can do?"

"Not at the moment, but I did ask him to let me know if he heard anything more. I'm sure that, if there's something that we can do to help, he'll let us know."

Mac grabs a couple of bags, and I manage to grab the others, but because Ty isn't really dressed for the colder weather that's settling in as the sun starts to descend, I call him over to help by taking his bag inside. He complies with my request for help, but the look on his face tells us that he's disappointed that he has to go in.

"I think we'd better make unpacking his proper winter clothing a priority tonight," Mac says to me as Ty approaches us at the car to take his bag.

"After having to comb the stores of Southern California to find them, I'm glad to see that he's going to get some use out of them," I comment.

Mac rolls her eyes at me. I'm sure that she's thinking that it wasn't that much trouble since we just had to go to the sporting goods store where they had plenty of snow-worthy winter wear.

It might have been more of a search if we lived farther away from the Big Bear ski area than about a two-hour drive.

The three of us, plus Ty's new friend, Cocoa, get inside the house, and the first order of business is room assignments.

Mac and I are in the room that's the first door on the right, the room that I usually stay in when I visit. Mattie's room will be the second room on the left. For Ty, the daybed in Grandma's sewing room, second door on the right, will be his bed for the next few nights.

If it were spring or summer, Ty and I would have to sleep in my 'thinking place,' the hay loft in the barn where you can sleep out of the wind, but it's too high for coyotes and you can still see the stars.

With the delay caused by the police checkpoint, the time that it took to get room assignments made and for everyone to freshen up, it's time to start dinner.

Just like at home, we're all willing to help, but my grandmother dismisses us to 'get settled in'.

Mattie sees our dismissal from the kitchen as an opportunity to call Paul. Apparently, they're speaking this week.

Ty's bag was too small to carry his new, heavier-weight clothes, so Mac sees the break as the perfect time to get Ty's winter clothes out of our bag. Since she thinks that he'll want to go outside as soon as he wakes up in the morning, she wants them out and ready for him to wear.

I decide to stay in the kitchen with Grandma.

I'm not in there too long before she's relented, and I'm now cutting up vegetables. It turns out that there won't be any meat for dinner tonight. We're having vegetable soup.

My grandmother seems to have something on her mind, but she isn't talking about it as we prepare dinner, opting to keep the conversation on the weather.

"We had a light snow the day after Thanksgiving, but it's gone now. However, snow is in the forecast for Christmas Eve," she tells me

"It'll be nice to have snow for Christmas. I just hope that it doesn't mess up our travel plans to get back home," I say.

"It wouldn't be so bad to get stuck out here in the country with me and Cocoa, now would it?" she says with a twinkle in her eye.

"No, it wouldn't be a bad thing at all for me, but Mac has to get back to her command." I pause. "How did you end up with a dog, Grandma?"

"The Thompsons who live down the road...their dog had pups. They were giving them away, but they had this one that no one seemed to want. Maybe it was because she was never there when people came to see them. She'd be at my front door every morning. I guess she picked me, instead. That boy of yours is quite taken with her, and because she's in the other room with him and not in here under my feet like usual, I'd have to say that Cocoa feels the same way about him."

The conversation about weather and dogs continued until the soup was about ready and I was dismissed from the kitchen to round up everyone to wash up for dinner.

After dinner, we sat in the living room in front of the fireplace and, true to her word, Grandma hauled out an album of pictures of me when I was younger.

With Ty on the floor at her feet near the fireplace and Cocoa resting comfortably at his side, Grandma told the story of the year that I turned eight when Mom and I came for Christmas. She even had a picture of me in front of the tree that year with my gift from her, my first guitar.

After the pictures and a couple of stories about me and my youth, she told them that she was saving the 'good' stories for when I wasn't around to hear her tell them.

It isn't long after that when I notice that Ty is fast asleep against Cocoa on the floor. There's no way to be sure if it's the peace and quiet of the country, the running around with the dog or the warmth of the fire in the fireplace, but Ty has fallen asleep on schedule for this time zone, but early for ours.

I scoop Ty up and carry him to bed.

Shortly after my return from tucking in Ty, Mattie excuses herself to get some sleep, too.

With Ty and Mattie both off to bed, my grandmother makes the excuse that, if the 'young'uns' are ready for bed, it must be past her bedtime for sure before she trots off to bed, leaving Mac and me alone in the living room.

It was just the day before yesterday that we got the latest negative pregnancy test news. When you add that news to the stress of wrapping up things at work and the job of getting the four of us packed and ready to travel, it's been an exhausting few days for us.

We sit in front of the fireplace, holding hands in comfortable silence and letting the warmth of the fire seep into us.

It takes a little more than an hour for the flames to die down so that we can go to bed without fear that the house will burn down around us as we sleep.


	120. Chapter 120

**PART TWO **

**SATURDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2006**

**RABB FARM**

**EARLY MORNING**

I rested well and I'm up early, but not before my grandmother, who I can hear moving about in the kitchen as I dress warmly for a morning run. Even though there's no snow on the ground, it's much colder here than in San Diego at this time of year. Once I'm dressed, I head in to see her.

Grandma is standing at the counter, her back to me as I enter the kitchen.

"Good morning, Grandma." I see her jump. I've startled her. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm surprised that Cocoa didn't warn you that I was coming."

"You'll find Cocoa sleeping soundly next to your son." She chuckles. "I see that you're dressed for a run. I guess you have a better reason than ever to stay in shape – you've got a wonderful family to take care of."

My reflex is automatic when my chest puffs out as I reply, "Yeah, they're great, aren't they?"

My grandmother's face is one big grin when she sees my obvious pride. "Yes, they are, and I'm glad that I finally got to meet them instead of just getting pictures. I'd hoped when I called Trish to extend the invitation to them that your mother and Frank would come, too. I'm sorry that they decided not to come."

I slip my arm around her shoulders. "Mom and Frank are flying out today, but they're making a stop on the way. They'll be here tomorrow."

"Are you sure that they're coming? I thought maybe your mom wouldn't come because she felt that Frank wouldn't feel comfortable here."

"I think that Frank is a little apprehensive about coming to my father's childhood home, but he and Ty are very close, and Frank is a man of his word. He told Ty that he'd see him at Christmas, so I'm sure that they'll be here."

She looks as if she's going to cry, so I give her shoulders a little squeeze. She looks up at me and pats my arm as she speaks. "I'm so glad that they're coming. It'll be the first family Christmas here in more years than I can count. Now, before I get all teary-eyed, you need to tell me what time I can expect the rest of your family to get up so they can eat breakfast while it's hot."

I'd spied the bacon on the counter when I'd moved closer to her and now I point at it. "They'll be up as soon as the smell of that bacon frying makes it to their noses."

"Then I take it that you're still eating things that are good for you."

"Yes, ma'am, and it's an easy diet to follow since Mac can but doesn't like to cook, so I do most of the cooking."

"I'll bet that means that they don't get much bacon," she muses.

"No they don't," I say, offering her a smile, the one that I know reminds her of my father.

"You just go on that run of yours...and don't be long about it or your breakfast will be cold."

I turn to leave, but then I remember the message that I was supposed to deliver yesterday. "Oh, Grandma, I forgot to tell you something. The sheriff, Charlie, said that, since you had company, he won't be by until after Christmas."

"When did you see Charlie?"

"He and his men had set up a roadblock."

"The old license and registration trick to get you to pull over. They usually catch at least a few drunk drivers who've had a little too much cheer at some party during the holidays. I'm surprised that they were out that early in the day, but if they caught one, it'll make it worth my tax dollars. Now, if you're going to get that run in before breakfast, you'd better get moving."

I see no reason to tell my grandmother about the stolen car or the girl who was kidnapped along with it, and this time when I'm dismissed, I make it out of the house for my morning run.

**ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES LATER **

I return from my run around the property with a mental list of items that need to be repaired.

There's something about manual labor, like mending fences or remodeling guesthouses that I find therapeutic.

The sound of two female voices carrying on a conversation are coming from the kitchen, my grandmother's and my wife's voices to be exact.

I enter the kitchen to find Mac at the kitchen sink, washing dishes, and my grandmother at the stove, tending something in a frying pan.

"Dear, your veggie, egg white omelet will be ready in a minute. The coffee is ready and your mug is there next to the toaster. Why don't you pop in a slice of whole grain bread for yourself while you're over there so your breakfast will all be ready at the same time?"

I move towards the coffee maker and toaster to follow my instructions, but I make a little detour to give Mac a quick peck of a good morning kiss.

After our lips touch briefly she says, "I poured you a glass of juice. It's already on the table."

I pull out a slice of bread as I remark, "Don't tell me that the kids aren't up yet."

"You were right. As the smell of bacon frying made its way down the hall, I had them coming to investigate. You're the last one in for breakfast," my grandmother answers.

"I'm taking your grandmother into town this morning after the dishes are done. Mattie's getting her camera ready for the trip. She thinks that she can get some good shots of small town USA. Ty is bundled up and outside, putting Cocoa through her paces. Your grandmother told him that exploring could wait until you got back, so he's in the backyard where I can see him out the window, waiting to see if you're going shopping, too, or staying here," Mac explains.

"A section of the fence by the creek has two missing rails that need to be fixed, and I'm sure that, if I take a good look around, I can find a few other things to keep us busy while you ladies are shopping."

"Harmon, take your son exploring, relax and enjoy the countryside. You're supposed to be on vacation, remember?"

I look at Mac, who's grinning from ear-to-ear at the tone that my grandmother just used with me, not to mention the fact that she called me Harmon.

I move to my grandmother and offer that smile, the one like my dad. "Grandma, I like doing things around here for you. It relaxes me." I decide to deflect the look that I'm getting from my grandmother and I look at Mac. "It's a form of therapy for me the way that shopping is for Mac…but you're going to have trouble, Mac. There isn't a shoe store around here for miles."

I get a dirty look from Mac, but my grandmother, who's finished up my omelet and reaches for a plate is the one who speaks. "I'm sure that we'll be going into a few shops, but the main reason for our shopping trip is to make sure that we have enough supplies for Mac and Mattie to do their cookie baking and for Frank to make his Christmas morning pancakes."

I look at Mac to explain. "She asked if we had any family traditions. I told her that we'd had only one Christmas together, so I didn't think that we could call anything a tradition yet, but she managed to get a couple of things out of Mattie and me that we'd like to do again this year."

I look back at my grandmother, who hands me my plate with a look that says that she doesn't want to hear another word on the subject, so I make my way to the table without a word and sit down to eat my breakfast.

After I take the first bite of my omelet I say, "Grandma, thanks for breakfast. It's delicious as always."

"You're welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me, Sarah said that she'd finish up the dishes so that I could get ready to go into town."

As my grandmother leaves the kitchen, Mac takes a look out of the window to check on Ty before she comes over and sits down next to me at the table.

"I can see why you named your plane after her. She's every bit as wonderful as you said she was. I'm glad we came." She kisses my cheek.

"Me, too."

Mac is sitting with me, waiting for me to finish my breakfast so she can wash up my dishes when Mattie wanders into the kitchen and offers to finish up so that Mac can get ready to go into town, and Mac accepts.

I'm in awe of how far they've come since last Christmas after watching the exchange between Mac and Mattie.

Grandma was right. I do have a wonderful family.

We've added Ty in the last year, and our life is good. Maybe we shouldn't adopt or have a baby and run the risk of throwing off the balance of a family life that's running smoothly.

I finish my breakfast and hand off my plate and mug to Mattie before I open the back door to tell Ty that I'll be out after I change clothes so that we can go explore the farm.

Grandma returns to the kitchen and asks, "Is everyone ready to go?"

Mattie says, "I just have to grab my purse and camera from the table in the living room and I'm ready."

Mac had come in a few seconds after Grandma and had heard the question. "I'll be ready as soon as my husband gives me the keys to the minivan."

"Not necessary," Grandma says, redirecting the conversation. I thought that my great granddaughter might enjoy driving in the country, so I thought we'd take my car. It doesn't get much use these days. Mattie, dear, the keys are on a hook next to the door over there that leads to the garage. The keys to the car are the ones on the blue key ring."

Between having a dog for Ty to play with and suggesting that Mattie drive, my grandmother is quickly winning over the members of my family.

My grandmother then turns to me. "Harm, the key ring that says Al's Feed Store has the keys to the pickup. Hank, one of the Thompson's grandsons, comes over once a month to do things for me around here to earn a little extra cash, so there's a list of things that needs to be done on the front of the refrigerator. However, don't you dare do all of them and leave nothing for Hank to do next month. Drive the truck when you come into town to meet us at the café for lunch at noon. That way, after lunch, you can pick up any supplies that you need to fix whatever you've chosen from the list."

"Yes, ma'am," I answer as the ladies head for the garage. Mac stops to give me a kiss goodbye on her way to the door.

With the ladies on their way, I check the list on the front of the refrigerator before I go change clothes. No reason why Ty and I can't explore the farm while we're checking to see what supplies we'll need to fix a few things around here.

**MAIN STREET CAFÉ **

**NOON**

Ty and I arrive at noon on the nose, but the ladies are already seated with hot tea in front of them at a table just inside the door in view of the front window, waiting for us.

"Good afternoon, ladies," I say, greeting them with a smile.

Mac is sitting by the wall and pulls out the chair next to her, and Ty takes that seat, so I take the seat at the end of the table across from my grandmother.

My grandmother is all smiles when a forty-something waitress approaches the table. "What can I get the two of you to drink?" she asks Ty and me.

"Hot tea is fine for me," I reply while picking up the menu that's laying on the table in front of me.

"Hot chocolate, please," Ty says, but the waitress has her eyes locked on me.

It's Grandma's voice that breaks her stare. "Now that everyone's here, I should introduce you. That florist shop that we stopped in and bought the poinsettia this morning...I told you that the place was owned by Mildred, but she wasn't in. Well, everyone...this is Mildred's granddaughter, Sheila. Sheila, from the look on your face, I take it that you remember my grandson, Harm. This is his wife, Sarah, and my great grandchildren, Mattie and Ty," my grandmother says, introducing each of them.

Sheila has an odd look as she says, "I heard that Harm got married. It's good to meet you all." Then she seems to snap out of her daze. "I'll be right back with your tea and hot chocolate."

Sheila then makes a hasty retreat.

"I'll bet she makes a call to her mother before she brings out your drinks," Grandma says.

"Grandma, what are you up to?" I ask.

"Nothing," she replies while grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.

I'm not buying it, but I let it go to look over the menu in search of a lunch choice.

"Not that you'd order the catfish because it's fried, Harm, but to let everyone know, fish is on the menu tonight for dinner. I'm trying my hand at a broiled salmon recipe from one of the cooking shows that I like to watch."

I'm pinned with three sets of eyes at the fact that this will be the second night that they've gone without red meat.

I offer in my defense, "She's trying to counteract the effects of all that bacon that you three wolfed down this morning."

Mattie offers a different take with a smirk. "I think that she's just spoiling her grandson."

I don't reply, but I suspect that there's a slight blush on my cheeks because it could be that, too.

Sheila arrives at the table with our tea and hot chocolate and places it down. "Are you ready to order?"

**A FEW MINUTES LATER **

We've placed our order, and Sheila has disappeared again when the door to the café opens and in steps a woman about my grandmother's age. Her eyes lock onto my grandmother and the others at our table before she even gets the door closed.

"Sarah, it's so nice to see you. I heard that you were at my shop this morning, but I didn't think that I'd get a chance to see you while you were in town. However, when I called Sheila to find out what the lunch special was, she said that you were here with your family. So I had to come by to say hi since I wasn't sure that, with company, you'd be coming to church tomorrow evening." After she's spoken, her eyes move to Mac.

"I haven't missed a Christmas Eve service yet and I won't be missing it tomorrow either, but I'm glad you stopped by, Mildred. You met my grandson, Harm, quite a few years ago when he stayed with me for a while when he was recovering from an accident. This time, he's brought his children, Mattie and Ty, and his wife, Sarah, with him. Everyone, this in my friend, Mildred Fields," Grandma says, making sure that Mildred knows who everyone is at the table and their relationship to her.

I stand. "Mrs. Fields, would you like to join us?"

"No, dear, I just came in for my lunch and I need to get it and get back to the shop, but I wanted to say hello. It was nice to meet all of you. Will all of you be coming to church tomorrow evening?"

"Yes, ma'am, as well as my parents, if they arrive on time tomorrow," I answer.

"Then I'll look forward to seeing you all again."

I'm not sure if I want to ask my grandmother what this odd exchange was really all about, at least in front of my family, so I'm thankful that our lunch plates start to arrive.

The conversation over lunch covers what the ladies have done in town and what we did on the farm this morning.

We're in the middle of lunch when Charlie, the sheriff, enters the café, and Sheila greets him, "Hey, sheriff, the board says that you have a prisoner. So you need one lunch special for him and one for you, right?"

"That's right. We nabbed a drunk driver in our check yesterday."

Sheila goes to get the lunches as Charlie ventures closer to our table.

"Hello, Mrs. Rabb. I'm sorry that your grandson and his family got tied up in our traffic check yesterday."

"I can't say that I wasn't getting a little worried, but they're here safe and sound now, so all's forgiven," my grandmother responds.

"Harm, after you finish your lunch, could you swing by my office for a minute?" the sheriff asks.

"Can I come?" Ty asks.

"Have you ever been to a small town sheriff's office and jail, young man?" the sheriff asks Ty.

"No, sir."

"Then, I guess you'd better come by and have a look."

The description has piqued Mattie's interest. "You mean that you have a sheriff's office like that TV show set in Mayberry?" Mattie asks.

"A little bit more modern, but similar," the sheriff replies with pride.

"Then can I see it, too?" Mattie asks.

"Sure, you can all stop by. You can all have a look around while your dad and I have a quick chat."

Sheila reappears with two Styrofoam containers. "Sheriff, here are the lunches."

"Thanks, Sheila," he says before he nods in our direction and says to us, "I'll see you in a bit."

**SHERIFF'S OFFICE **

**AFTER LUNCH**

My grandmother opted to stay at the café and have another cup of hot tea, even though Mac decided to tag along with us. She said that it wouldn't be the first time that she'd been in the café alone and that it probably wouldn't be the last, and she'd prefer to stay inside and wait for us to walking out in the cold, even if the sheriff's office was just down the street.

We arrive at the sheriff's office, and Charlie asks a deputy to give Ty and Mattie a tour.

The deputy is telling the two of them that all the cool stuff like the booking area is behind the door at the back of the office and to follow him. I hear the click of the door closing behind the deputy and the kids just before I hear the thud of the newspaper that Charlie has pulled from his desk drawer as it lands on his desk.

"The story of the stolen car and the girl who he took with it was the lead story on the six o'clock news last night, and it's front page stuff this morning," Charlie says, pointing to the front page of the newspaper on his desk. "I got an update this morning that isn't in the paper. When I saw you, I thought that you might want to hear about it."

Mac is standing beside me in front of his desk and answers, "Yes, we would."

"I'll start by telling you some of the details that I didn't share yesterday. The car was stolen from a convenience store in east Pittsburgh between eight and nine yesterday morning. An Amber alert was sent out immediately, but the state police opted to release more of the story for the six o'clock broadcast last night. Of course, the calls on sightings started pouring in, and the state police have been chasing leads all night. The update that I got this morning says that they have a positive sighting of the car from a video at a gas station near Johnstown that was time stamped at three o'clock yesterday afternoon."

"Was the suspect or the little girl seen in the video?" Mac asks.

"The video was blurry. The state police are getting assistance from the FBI in trying to clean up the video from both the convenience store and the gas station for a clean picture of the suspect. There was no one else seen in or around the car in the video. Johnstown is only about an hour from Pittsburgh, so it's kind of suspicious that he didn't get there until three, but the state police haven't pieced anything together for that missing time yet that I know of. This morning, when the state police's information officer called, he said that they were checking a lead that the suspect had checked into a motel close to Johnstown yesterday afternoon about four. However, the room was empty when the maid went in this morning. The state police have been there for the last couple of hours. I was hoping that I'd have another update before lunch, but I haven't heard from them yet."

A deputy comes through the door at the back of the office. "Sheriff, this fax just came in for you. The state police got fingerprints from the motel. They were in the system, so they've got an ID on the suspect."

The sheriff takes the pages from the deputy. He briefly shows us a page with a picture on it before barking at his deputy, "Get the information out on the radio right away and get his picture copied and distributed to anyone and everyone. If this guy comes into our neck of the woods, I want to stop him in his tracks."

"Yes, sir," the deputy says with conviction.

"And tell Noel to start heading back this way with those kids so these nice folks can be on their way."

"Yes, sir."

"The suspect's name is Alan Blake. His last arrest was for aggravated assault and attempted murder. He pled no constant and, through a deal with the DA, he served five years. He's been out for three weeks. Based on his record, the state police have stated that he should be presumed to be armed and dangerous. My boys and I need to get back out there and set up check points. If this guy thinks that he's going to use these country roads to avoid getting caught by the state police, he's got one thing right. The state police aren't going to catch him."

"If there's anything that we can do to help, please let us know," Mac pleads.

"For now, all you can do is keep your eyes open and look after your family. I'll let you know if you can do more."

Ty emerges excitedly from the back of the office. "Dad, Deputy Noel took my picture and fingerprints."

"When the kids come to the jail on a field trip, we make them a kid ID card with their picture, fingerprints and their stats on it. I made him one of those."

We thank the deputy and the sheriff for the tour and the information before we head back to the café.

**RABB FARM **

**HAY LOFT**

Ty's had another full day. He played with Cocoa and had a hike around the farm this morning, had lunch and visited the town jail at midday and had an afternoon of running around the farm with Cocoa and helping me get the tractor running. All of that had Ty exhausted tonight. So, after dinner, Mac got him in the bathtub so that he'd be clad in his pajamas and in bed when he fell asleep, instead of on the floor like last night. Meanwhile, Mattie and I helped Grandma do the dishes.

When it was time for Ty to go to bed, Mattie excused herself to go call Paul and get ready for bed. My grandmother said that she wanted to turn in early because she wanted to get a good night's sleep since tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

I went in and said goodnight to Ty, but I left the tucking in to Mac, telling her that I wanted to take a walk before bed. I ended up in the hayloft instead. I'm looking out the opening and staring at the stars, unsure and unconcerned about how long I've been up here.

A noise behind me startles me. I turn to see Mac, struggling with something as she crests the top of the ladder.

I move towards her. "Be careful, a couple of rungs on that ladder are loose," I caution her.

I can see from my new vantage point that she's got something rolled up under her arm that seems to be throwing her a little off balance.

She places a rolled up quilt on the wooden planks in front of her. "I don't need to come up all the way. Your grandmother thought that, since you've been out here so long, you might be cold. She was going to come, but I volunteered to bring you the blanket. You'll find a thermos of hot chocolate that she made wrapped up in it. Good night."

"You want to come up and stay with me a minute?" I ask.

"You're grandmother said that this is you're thinking place. I don't want to intrude," she says hesitantly.

"No intrusion. I'll share the blanket and hot chocolate if you'll stay."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm sure," I reply firmly.

I help Mac up to the loft where I tell her, "You have to sit facing the view."

I unroll the quilt while she sits down, but before I sit down, I offer her the thermos. "Will you do the honors and open that while I get comfortable?"

She takes the thermos and begins to unscrew the lid while I sit down behind her with my legs spread and laying along either side of hers.

As she continues her task, I wrap the blanket around my shoulders and, when she's completed her task, I carefully wrap my arms and the blanket around her so as not to spill the hot chocolate.

We sit in silence, sipping the hot chocolate and enjoying the physical closeness that we're sharing while admiring our view of the stars.

It's when Mac pours the last of the hot chocolate from the thermos into the cup that the silence is broken.

"Harm, when are you going to talk to me?" she asks nervously.

"When I've figured out what I want to say," I reply with a sigh.

The silence returns until we've finished the last cup of hot chocolate a few minutes later.

"I want to check on Ty and get ready for bed." She turns in my arms and places a delicate kiss on my lips. "In case you have any doubts, nothing can change how much I love you." Her lips come to mine in a kiss that's tender and loving.

When her lips leave mine, I begin to speak, but she places her fingers over my mouth. "You don't have to say anything until you've figured out what you want, but I needed for you to know how I feel."

She picks up the thermos and leaves me alone with my thoughts. I watch her cross the yard as she walks back to the house from my position looking out the loft opening.

I sit here for an unknown amount of time, pondering my confused feelings on the subject of adopting another child until I begin to feel cold and decide to head inside.

Inside the house, I stop in the living room to check on the fire that was roaring after dinner. It's died down, but there's still a small flame, so I sit on the hearth, warming myself there until the lingering flame is also gone.

I enter the room that I'm sharing with Mac, and her sleeping form under the covers warms my heart.

Not wanting to wake her by turning on a light to find my pajamas, I strip down to my boxers, pull the covers back, slip in behind her and, within a few seconds, our bodies have found their way into one of our favorite sleeping positions, spooned together.

With my arm wrapped around her at the waist, I realize that this is the first time in weeks that we've slept together while touching each other.

A knot of guilt threatens to be my emotional undoing. In what little downtime that we've had from work and family in these last few weeks, I've been so preoccupied with the subject of adoption that I've forgotten what's most important to me...a life with this woman.

I kiss her cheek. "I love you, Sarah, and I've missed this," I whisper, thinking that she's asleep.

"So have I," she replies before turning in my arms until she's facing me.

"But being this close to you…" I pause. I don't want to make her feel guilty for the absence of sex in our lives because it isn't her fault. I start again, "I just can't always have you and..." No, that doesn't sound any better, but having her so close is overwhelming, and I can't think clearly enough to finish my thought.

"I'm here now, and you can tonight…if you want me, Sailor."

She understood what I was trying to say, even though I wasn't able to voice it. Relief washes over me, and my lips seek hers.

I know from the way that she kisses me back that I'm not the only one who's been missing spontaneous intimacy, and I know that we'll be making love late into the night.


	121. Chapter 121

**PART ****THREE A**

**SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2006**

**RABB FARM KITCHEN**

**EARLY MORNING**

Grandma Rabb is humming as she stands at the counter, kneading some dough when Mattie enters the kitchen.

"Good morning," Mattie says.

"Good morning, dear. You're up early. Anything wrong?"

"I just couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to get up."

"Harm told me about your accident. I should have checked with you yesterday morning to make sure that the bed that I put you in was comfortable for you," she says apologetically.

"Grandma, the bed's fine."

"So it isn't a matter of comfort…you have things on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm afraid that breakfast isn't going to be ready for a little bit yet, but while I'm finishing up the cinnamon rolls, I've got two ears free if you want to talk about something."

"Is that what you're making, cinnamon rolls?"

"Yes, my mother's recipe, and one of my son and grandson's favorite home-baked treats."

She doesn't want to put her nose where it doesn't belong, but her grandson, his wife and daughter have seemed really uptight since they arrived yesterday. Her intuition told her that, whatever was going on between her parents, her great granddaughter was suffering from something very common for a young woman her age.

After silence hangs in the room for a couple of minutes, Grandma Rabb asks, "Why don't I make us some hot chocolate while we wait for the dough to rise?"

Mattie sits at the kitchen table, and the room is quiet except for the sounds of Grandma Rabb making hot chocolate and tending to her cinnamon roll dough until the hot chocolate is ready. Then she sets a mug of the piping hot liquid down in front of Mattie before sitting down with her mug.

"Mattie, I'll be eighty-five on my next birthday. Can you answer a question for me?" Mattie nods. "Are boys as dumb as they were when I was your age?"

"At least as dumb, maybe dumber," Mattie says with a smile. "How did you know that it was boy trouble?"

"Because, as women, we have control over many aspects of our lives except what our hearts do when a man enters the picture. You can't control love."

"That's the problem. I don't know if I love him." Mattie sighs with relief. She'd finally said it out loud and it felt good to talk about it. "How did you know that you were in love with Harm's grandfather? I mean, if it isn't too painful for you to talk about him."

"I love talking about him. You know, he's been gone a lot of years, but when I think or speak of about him, my heart soars. If you can believe it, I still love that man with all my heart. That's why I've never remarried." Grandma Rabb looked over the top rim of her glasses. "Now, don't get me wrong. I've dated since and I liked a few of them. I may even have felt love for one or two, but not enough. Your great grandfather was it for me. I'm sorry, dear. I got sidetracked. Your question was how did I know that he was the one for me when I was young, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

**GUEST ROOM**

**SAME TIME**

The tangled sheets around us this morning isn't from another night of one or both of us tossing and turning, but rather a sign of the passionate lovemaking that transpired last night.

With the two of us wrapped up in each other, when Mac stirs, her movement wakes me. We open our eyes simultaneously, but neither of us speaks, opting to relish in the sight of each other.

"Good morning," she whispers after a few moments.

"Good morning," I say before I place a gentle kiss on her lips. "How did you sleep?"

"Soundly. How about you?"

"I learned something last night that allowed me to sleep better than I have in weeks."

"Oh yeah, what did you learn?"

"That our relationship isn't like trying a case. I don't have to figure out what I want to say. I just need to state how I see things so that we can reach a decision together."

"And how do you see things when it comes to adopting again?" she asks.

"You made good points for adopting, and I don't have a problem with adopting per se. My concern is our relationship, you and me, and what will happen if we add one more ball to juggle."

I can't look her in the eye, so I break eye contact with her as I continue, "It's already hard to keep track of the handful of days that we can be intimate while using in vitro to try to conceive that we ... **I **find it easier to just do without. In addition to all that, balancing our current family life and our professional responsibilities as well makes it even more difficult. What will it cost us - our relationship - if we adopt another child?"

Having finally expressed what I wanted to say, I reestablish eye contact in order to gauge her reaction to what I've said and see the glistening of moisture in her eyes.

"I know that it shouldn't have taken nine years for us to get to this point, but now that we _are_ together, I don't want to trade you for a child. I love you and I'd rather have 'us' than a child," I add.

"I understand...and I love you, too."

"But…?" I say like a question, hoping to elicit her thoughts.

"But you'd better get up and get moving if you're going to get in a run and a shower before breakfast. If you aren't back in time to eat your breakfast while it's still hot, your grandmother will kick us all out of the family."

Since she didn't give me her thoughts, I have to assume that she needs time to mull over what I've said, at least that's what I hope it is, and I quickly decide that this morning is no time to push her. I don't want to fight, especially after such a wonderful night.

"You have a point, but I want you to know that I'm getting out of bed under protest because I'd like to spend all day in bed with you."

"That's sounds delightful and indulgent…but nice, very nice."

I brush my lips across hers before I reluctantly release her and throw back the covers to get out of bed.

I feel her eyes watching me dress. I've got my running pants on when she speaks.

"Harm, what if there's a middle ground?"

I turn towards her and slip on a t-shirt. "I'm listening."

"We know from what Ms. LeMoine told us that we got to take some shortcuts when we adopted Tyler. Since we don't know how difficult it might be to adopt another child, could we at least investigate the possibility? We can keep trying to have a baby in the meantime."

I've finished dressing while listening to Mac, but I lack shoes and socks, so I sit on the edge of the bed to put them on while she finishes her thoughts.

"I've been talking about adopting a child close to Tyler's age. I was thinking of a little boy who's maybe five or six. That way the two boys could be playmates and grow up together, but what if we asked Mrs. Morales what the chances would be for adopting an infant? I don't want to stop trying for our own child just yet, but I'm beginning to wonder how much longer we should keep trying." I feel her palm rub over my shoulder. "Think about it while you run...and let me know whenever you have some thoughts about my suggestion, okay?"

"I will. What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

"I think I'll go to the kitchen and get in my first cup of coffee before I shower."

"Well, since you have plans, I'm out of here." I place one last kiss on her lips and head out for my run.

**BACK IN THE KITCHEN **

"I'm a couple of generations out of touch. Why haven't you talked about all of this with your parents?" Grandma Rabb asks Mattie.

"They're under a lot of stress with trying to have a baby, and I don't want to add to it with my 'boy trouble.'

"When did Harm tell you that we were trying to have a baby?" Mac asks from the doorway, having overheard Mattie's comment.

"He didn't tell me," Mattie answers.

"Then how do you know?" Mac asks as she steps closer to the table.

"I went into your bathroom to get a tampon because I'd run out and I saw the prescription bottles. I thought that something was seriously wrong and I wanted to know what, so I searched the internet and found out that the drugs are used in fertility treatments."

"Oh," Mac says with a sigh and sits down heavily.

"How long have you been trying?" Grandma Rabb asks.

"A while...without success." Mac is in shock at the news that Mattie knows and doesn't take the time to ask when she found out.

"So far," Grandma Rabb says in a way that makes it seem like a baby is inevitable, but it simply hasn't been the right time.

The news that Mattie knows about her problem has taken the wind out of Mac as if she's been punched in the stomach. Then she recovers and asks, "What's this about 'boy trouble'?"

"We're talking about love. How did you know that Harm was the one for you?" Mattie asks Mac.

**THIRTY MINUTES LATER **

I enter the house, and the smell of cinnamon hits me. Cinnamon in the morning...could it be Grandma's cinnamon rolls? I head straight to the kitchen to investigate, foregoing a shower for the moment.

"Are those cinnamon rolls that I smell?" I ask as I enter the kitchen, sensing that I've interrupted something when I feel Mac and Mattie's eyes on me.

"Yes, and you have time to take a shower before they come out of the oven," my grandmother replies.

I'm still getting the sense that I'm not welcome in here at the moment. "Did I interrupt something?"

"We were talking about love, boys and babies, you know, girl talk, and you're -" Mattie starts.

I cut off Mattie by adding, "- not qualified to participate because I'm not a girl."

"Exactly," Mattie responds.

"I'll be back in ten," I say and start to leave the kitchen, but there's a look on Mac's face that makes me hesitate. "Mac, are you okay?"

"They know."

"They know what?"

"Mac is freaked out because I saw her pills, and because you two have been acting weird for the last few months, I thought that she was sick, so I researched the prescriptions on the internet and found out that you're trying to have a baby," Mattie explains.

"Well, if they know, we should tell my parents, too. Everyone should know," I say to Mac.

"Know what?" Ty asks from behind me.

"Know that Mom and I think that you and your sister are so cool that we want more kids," I reply as I move to him, whisking the pajama-clad boy up and over my shoulder. "And because I love you, I'm going to rescue you from the 'girl talk' that's going on in here. I'll let you watch me perform the manly ritual of shaving, and then you can get dressed while I take a shower." I spin around and look at the ladies, offering them my 'flyboy grin' as Mac calls it. "Ladies, we'll be back for breakfast shortly," I say before spinning back around and heading for the bathroom in the hall.

**HALL BATHROOM **

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

I set Ty down on the corner of the vanity so that he can have a bird's eye view before I turn on the water.

Allowing the running water to get warm before I start to shave, I say to Ty, "Wait 'til you taste those cinnamon rolls you smell. They are so good!"

"Are they the best?" Ty asks with a grin.

I check the temperature of the water. It's getting there, so time to prep my face.

"They are the best cinnamon rolls ever in the whole world," I say as I start to apply shaving cream to my face.

"Then are Grandma and Grandpa going to be here soon so they can have the best cinnamon rolls in the world with us?"

"They aren't going to be here in time for breakfast. They are planning to be here for lunch, though." Ty looks sad. "Just leaves more cinnamon rolls for us," I say as I apply a dab of shaving cream to the end of his nose before rinsing my hands in the now warm water.

"When will I need to start shaving?" he asks while rubbing the shaving cream off his nose with his hand.

"It'll be a while yet," I answer after running my dry razor under the now hot water in preparation for taking the first stroke with it up my cheek.

"When did you start shaving?"

"Around fifteen, I think. I don't really remember. It was a long time ago," I say before taking another stroke with the razor.

"Who taught you how?"

"Your grandpa, Frank," I say before taking the third stroke.

"When am I going to get a brother or sister?"

I'm thankful that I don't shave with a straight-edged razor like my grandfather would've used when I hear that out-of-the-blue question.

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know? I mean, is it because you can't decide if you want a girl or another boy?"

"Yes, that's a good way to put part of the reason."

"What's the other part?"

I turn on the cold water to balance out the hot so that I can wash the shaving cream off my face. I'll be shaving again before church tonight anyway. I'll get the parts that I've missed then.

"Well, another question besides boy or girl is, do we want an older child like you or a baby?"

"Momma wants a baby, huh?"

"Yeah, she does, and so do I, but a baby takes a long time to get, so we don't know if we want to wait that long to have another child."

"Is there a rule in the military that says that you can have only two kids at a time?" Ty asks, scrunching up his nose.

I've washed my face and turned off the water so that my full attention is on Ty. I don't understand the observation that he's made that's led to his question. "I'm not sure that I understand what you're asking. What do you mean by 'two at a time'?"

"I heard you tell Momma on Mattie's birthday that she was eighteen and an adult. If Mattie's a grown up now, do you have to pick between a kid and a baby to replace her?"

"There's no rule that says that we can't have more than two children at a time," I say with a little snicker.

"Then it's easy. You can get an older kid now while we wait for the baby to come."

Why does it sound so simple when he says it? "I guess that Momma and I will have to talk about that solution, but right now, we'd better get dressed or our breakfast is going to get cold."

"I don't want to miss the best cinnamon rolls in the whole world," Ty exclaims.

"Me neither," I say as I lift Ty off the vanity so that he can be on his way. I look at my watch. I'm going to be working outside this morning. I'll just change clothes now. I'll shower before church this evening.

**BARN**

**A COUPLE HOURS LATER **

Over breakfast, I was glad to hear the updated weather forecast on the radio. The movement of the storm front that was expected to drop snow on us today has slowed and is now scheduled to arrive late tonight while we're all asleep, which gives me time today to get a few things done around the farm.

I picked four things off the list of a dozen or so things to do around the farm and, last night, when I went up in the hayloft, I added fixing the loose rungs on the ladder that wasn't on the list.

After returning from town yesterday, I got only one item done – the tractor is running again - so I want to use the time between breakfast and my parent's arrival to get a couple of more things done.

Ty, along with his sidekick, Cocoa, have been my constant companions while I've gone out to the fence and measured the length of wood needed for the new rails and hiked back to the workroom in the barn where a power saw is kept set up.

Before unloading the wood from the bed of the pickup to make my cuts, I decide to check the loose rungs on the ladder to see if wood rot is the reason why they've become loose so that I can make all my wood cuts at once.

With all the measurements and the cuts made, I put the cut rails back into the pickup to take out to the fence, but I've been working hard and decide to put off replacing the fence rails for a while, opting to repair the hayloft ladder so that I can show Ty my 'thinking place' without risking life and limb.

Once the rungs are replaced, I climb the ladder to test the repair to make sure that they're as secure as they should be before telling Ty to come up.

Ty and I sit down, silently looking out over the land through the hayloft door. I always feel close to my father and the grandfather who I never even met when I'm up here.

I don't tell Ty about the closeness that I feel to other Rabb generations, but I do tell him what a cool place that I've always thought this was and that I've always liked to come up here when I needed to think.

"I just had an idea. If we get the chance to come to the farm when it's warmer, why don't you and I sleep up here, looking out at the stars and enjoying the fresh air?"

"Just you and me, no girls," Ty says with conviction.

"No girls, just you and me," I reply.

"I've been thinking about a brother or a sister. Can I have a sister?" Ty asks shyly.

"If you don't want girls at our sleepover, why do you want a sister?" I ask, not sure of his reasoning.

"So I don't have to share you when we do guy stuff," Ty explains.

"It doesn't matter whether our next child is a boy or a girl, because they can't take your place. You're my first son, and that makes you special. Of course, they'll be special in their own way, too, but I love you a lot, and nothing will ever change that, okay?"

He hugs my neck. "Okay," he says, and it almost sounds like a sigh of relief.

We sit in the hayloft for a few more minutes before I tell him that we need to get the fence fixed before Grandma and Grandpa get here and, if there's time after lunch, we'll come back up here again before we have to get ready to go to church.

Before I climb down, Ty asks, "Can I stay up here for a few more minutes?"

"I need to put a few more things in the truck before we head out to mend the fence. So why don't you stay up here until I'm ready to go?"

It takes me about five minutes to gather and put the last of our supplies into the bed of the truck, and then I call for Ty to join me so that I can finish the fence repair before my parents arrive.

Trees are scattered along the edges of the fields that were once farmed regularly, and those few trees that remained after the fields were divided have been stripped of their foliage by the harsh winter. So we have an unobstructed view as we drive along the dirt road that serves as a boundary between the Rabb and the Thompson farms to the fence section that needs mending.

Once we've reached the fence section, the first order of business is to dig around the fence post a little to allow it to move slightly so that I can insert the rails into the grooves in the post. While I perform this act of hard labor, Ty looks along the creek that runs through both properties and voices his disappointment that there aren't any animals to watch.

Once I've completed the task of removing a few shovelfuls of dirt from around the post, I lean the shovel against the side of the truck near the end of the bed and drop the tail gate to get out the first rail.

As I lug the rail over my shoulder, I wonder why I didn't save this bigger job for the Thompson's much younger grandson and select an easier job to do.

I get the first rail into place and go back to the truck to retrieve the second rail that needs to be placed in the post when I see a car coming towards us. It isn't my parents because it looks like there's just a driver behind the wheel and no passengers, but I can't be sure of anything at this distance.

The car comes to a halt behind the pickup, and I can see the driver clearly through the windshield. He looks like the man on the sheet at the sheriff's office. Charlie didn't tell us what kind of car he stole, so that doesn't help, and I don't see a little girl in the car, but a four-year-old might be too short for me to see through the windshield.

I have a funny feeling that trouble has found me once again.

I reach into my shirt pocket, pull out my cell phone and flip it open.

I hit the button that will call Mac's cell phone and hope that she answers.

I lean against the downed tailgate of the truck and listen to the ringing of Mac's phone on the other end – no answer, and it goes to voice mail.

It was worth a shot. If my gut feeling is right, I could've given her clues that she'd pick up on and be able to figure out that we need help. I'm not sure that I could accomplish that with anyone else. Now I have to hope that, because Ty is with me, I'm overreacting.

The man steps out of the car. "Sorry to bother you, but I'm a little lost. There were police on the road who were detouring traffic, and I got all turned around. Can you tell me how to get around the detour so that I don't get lost again and get me back on the road to Philly?"

It is him. He's shaved and combed his hair differently, but it's him. I can feel it in my bones. They aren't detouring traffic. They're stopping it, so he wants a way around the roadblock.

"I don't think that I can help you. I'm here on vacation and I don't know the roads that well myself. I can get you back out to the main road, but that's about it."

The man moves closer to the truck. "Is your truck four wheel drive?" he asks.

"Yes," I answer cautiously.

"Then I guess..." He pulls a knife from behind his back. "...I'll just have to take your truck, go right through your pretty mending job and follow the creek east until I get to some place that looks familiar."

I don't mind risking my own neck, but not my son's.

"Keys are in it, take it," I say to him.

I also figure that, if he drives the pickup away and that little girl is in the car, she'll be home for Christmas.

"Give me the phone that I saw you with when I drove up. I don't want you calling for help until I've had time to put some miles between me and the cops."

I want to ask him about the little girl, but I don't want to upset Ty or the man with a knife.

I push Ty over towards the side of the truck while offering my cell phone to the man, but it rings while it's still in my hand. The caller ID says that it's Mac.

The man steps over to Ty and puts the knife across his chest. "Answer it, but be careful or I'll kill the boy."

"Hi, honey," I say as I answer the phone.

["Harm, I'm sorry that I missed your call. The sheriff was here telling us that the stolen car was seen only a couple of miles from here, but it turned off the main road and they haven't been able to find it yet. You should come in until they're able to put a net around this guy."]

I get a nasty tone in my voice as I reply. "When are you going to stop nagging me? I told you that I'd bring the boy in after we finished fixing the fence. He isn't going to freeze to death, so relax. We'll be there when we get there."

["Harm, what's wrong?"] she asks with fear in her voice

I keep the anger in my voice. "I told you, woman, quit worrying."

Mac's caught on that something's up and she's asking questions. [Something wrong out there?"]

"That's right, and I can't get the fence done with you on the phone complaining that it's taking me too long."

["Is he there with you?"]

"Yes! I'm not going to talk about this anymore. We can fight about it when I get back to the house."

I flip the phone closed and look at the man. "Just my wife calling to complain. Let my son go, take the phone and get out of here."

He snatches the phone from my open palm, but he doesn't let Ty go.

"I think I'll take the boy with me for a few miles...for insurance." He starts to drag Ty towards the driver's side door, and Ty yells, "No!"

Cocoa, hearing the panic in Ty's voice, rushes to his aid. Cocoa lunges at the man, latches onto the forearm of his knife-wielding arm and clamps down.

In trying to free his arm from the dog's grasp, Ty is able to slip away.

With Ty out of the man's grasp, I rush him. My shoulder makes contact with his mid section, sending him to the ground with me on top of him.

"Run, Ty! Run! Go to the house. Go!" I scream, glad that he and I had made the trek out here to look at the fence by foot yesterday as part of our exploring so that he knows how to get to the house from here.

I hear the sound of Ty's running feet and turn my attention to the dog.

"Home, Cocoa! Go home!"

Cocoa obeys and takes off after Ty. Now, with my son on his way to safety, leaving me alone against one man, it's a fair fight.

I don't know if I'm distracted because I'm worried about Ty making it back to the house or if I'm just getting too old for this sort of thing.

It took only seconds for me to give Ty instructions and for him to follow them, but it was long enough for the man to recover and get back on his feet.

He swipes the knife back and forth a couple of times, but, luckily, he's cut only the air with the motions so far.

In the series of moves and counter moves that follow, I've managed to lead him towards the rear of the truck by backing up as he swings the knife at me. My goal is the shovel that's leaning against the bed of the truck to use as a weapon, but I'm still not able to reach it without him being able to slice my arm.

With a leg sweep move that I didn't see coming because I was focused on the knife, I'm now flat on my back, my hands grasping his wrists as I struggle to keep him from stabbing me with the knife that he now has poised above my chest.


	122. Chapter 122

**PART THREE B**

**RABB FARMHOUSE**

Mac had been in the kitchen with Mattie and Grandma Rabb when she'd returned Harm's call, so their eyes had been pinned on her, waiting to hear what was going on when Mac had flipped her phone closed at the end of the call.

Mac couldn't think of a less alarming way to communicate what was going on, so she looked at Harm's grandmother and rattled off, "Call the sheriff and get him out to where Harm was mending the broken fence. The guy they're after is out there with them. Also tell him that I'm headed out there now."

Then Mac mumbled to herself, 'I wonder if Harm still has the keys to the minivan'.

The elder Mrs. Rabb didn't have to be drawn a map to know what Mac was worried about, and knowing that the wanted man had stolen a car with a little girl in it and now members of her own family might be in danger, she reached for the keys to her old Cadillac.

"Here, take this 'old boat' as Mattie called it. It'll put you on the opposite side of the fence from them, but you'll get there faster if you don't bother to use the service road. Just drive right past the barn and keep going. The area of the fence that he's working on is about a mile and a half that way."

As Mac took the keys, Grandma Rabb added, "We haven't had any rain, so she'll glide right over the frozen ground, and she can do more than a hundred on a bad day...and I won't be put out none if you put her engine right up that man's six if it gets them back safe and sound."

Mac only nodded as she spun on her heel to be on her way.

Mac was about to pass the barn, trying to regulate her speed. She needed to go fast enough that she'd get there before members of her family were hurt or worse, but slow enough that she'd be able to stop before she hit the fence.

Grandma was right. The vintage seventies Cadillac was an easy ride across the dirt path that had been created by vehicles going that way repeatedly.

When Mac saw something up ahead, she took a deep breath, grasped the steering wheel a little tighter and slowed the car, trying to figure out what it was.

Yes, that's what she thought she saw – it was Ty, running in her direction with Cocoa at his side.

Mac brought the Caddy to a stop and threw the car into park. She jumped out of the car as Ty ran to the passenger side.

Out of breath from running, he opened the door and jumped in as he said, "Momma, let's go! Dad and the man are fighting, and the man has a knife." The passenger door was still open, and Cocoa jumped in as Ty made another plea, "Hurry, Momma, please."

Mac moved swiftly back behind the steering wheel, wondering if going to the scene with Ty was a good idea, but taking him back to the house before going to help Harm didn't seem like a good idea either.

Mac had only a split second to decide: turn around and head for the house and then double back to Harm or head straight to Harm. Her answer: she had to try to do both – protect her son and watch her husband's six.

"You need to do what I tell you. I want you to lock your door and then get down on the floor. I don't want anyone to see that you're in here. When we get there and I get out of the car, you lock the driver's door and stay put. Don't unlock the car for anyone other than your dad or me for any reason...and don't get out of the car. Do you understand?" she asked earnestly as she looked at Ty.

"Yes, Momma," Ty agreed as he slammed the passenger door shut.

With Ty's response, she pressed down on the gas pedal, and the car took off.

**MEANWHILE…**

**HARM'S POV**

I'm managing to keep the knife from penetrating my chest, but since I'm wrestling with a man who's about half my age, I'm sure that I'll wear out first and that he'll win in the end if I can't get out of this position. Then I remember the shovel. I'm not able to grab it, but I think that I can knock it over, and maybe the noise coming from behind him will distract him.

I start moving my leg, searching for the shovel with my foot. _Clank_! I found it, and the sound of the shovel hitting the ground causes him to turn his head.

I channel all my energy through my arms and push up, taking advantage of his momentary distraction.

My action results in the desired effect. He's off of me, and I've got a chance to turn the tables when another noise catches his attention, the sound of an approaching car.

He looks up towards the sound, probably to see if it's the police.

I'm hoping that it is the sheriff, but I've got to keep focused on what I'm doing in case it isn't.

As I move towards him, he must see my movement out of the corner of his eye because he turns to confront me with the knife.

I take a step to one side, and he mimics me to stay in front of me. As he moves towards me with the knife, trying to cut me, I back up around the tailgate of the truck, but he's forgotten about the shovel on the ground and he trips over the handle, sending him forward and striking his head on the tailgate as he falls. He's now lying on the frozen ground, apparently unconscious.

I kick the knife away from him before I carefully approach him to make sure that he isn't playing possum.

As I bend over him, I'm prepared to deliver a knockout blow, but the gash along the side of his head indicates that the fall seems to have done the job for me.

I roll him over to get my phone out of his shirt pocket so that I can call Mac, but just then I catch sight of my grandmother's Cadillac coming to a stop on the other side of the fence.

The driver's door opens and Mac steps out. "Harm, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Tell me that Ty made it to the house all right."

"He's okay," Mac says before she lets out a sigh of relief as she closes the car door.

Mac makes it to my side before she asks, "No sign of the little girl?"

"No, but I couldn't really look for her. I was otherwise engaged." I say the latter, looking down at the man on the ground. He still hasn't moved. He must really be out or dazed enough that he's down for a little while. So, with my Marine here for back up, I can breathe a little easier.

"Should we look in the car for her or wait for the sheriff to get here?" she asks.

"Did you call them already?" I ask, wondering if she headed out to check on the situation to see if she understood my clues before calling.

I knew that it was a ridiculous question as soon as it left my mouth, but she doesn't seem to take offense. She must be too rattled by what she could've found when she arrived or scared because of the unknown fate of the kidnapped little girl.

"I got here as soon as I could, but I told your grandmother to call," she states just before the first police car arrives.

It's Deputy Noel, the one who took the kids on a tour of the jail. He's just in time, because the suspect is starting to moan. He's coming to, and with quite a headache, I'd imagine.

Noel has just reached us when a second police car arrives and, this time, it's the sheriff.

Charlie gets out of the car and is approaching us, but he doesn't wait to get close before he hollers, "Everyone okay?"

"Yes, Sheriff, everyone's okay. The suspect bumped his head, but he's coming around," Noel responds.

The sheriff is closer now and doesn't have to yell any longer to be sure that he's heard, "Anyone seen the girl?"

"No, sir, but I've been here for only a minute. I was checking to see if the suspect was in any condition to answer questions," Noel explains.

Charlie reaches us and sees the suspect. "Help him sit up, Noel," the sheriff says.

"I don't think that's a good idea. He's got a head injury, sir."

"I don't care about his injuries. Now get him up!" Charlie says impatiently.

Noel does as he's instructed and leans the man against the rear tire of the truck.

The sheriff stoops down. "Boy, I don't care to be kind to you, so tell me the first time I ask you. Where's the little girl who was in the car when you took it?"

The suspect mutters something that no one understands.

"Boy, try it again, because I didn't get that!"

"She's in the trunk," he says clearly this time.

Noel calls for an ambulance as another deputy arrives, and Charlie motions for him to join Noel.

Charlie looks at Mac and me. "If she's been in there the whole three days, she's probably… My deputies are too young to see that." He turns and moves towards the stolen car.

I've got to know, so I also move towards the car.

Mac walks with me, but when I stop at the trunk, she says, "I'm going back to the car." Then she walks on over to the Caddy, climbing over the fence rail that I'd replaced just before our carjacker had shown up.

Charlie reaches into the stolen car, removes the keys from the ignition and joins me at the trunk.

It seems like it takes him forever to insert and turn the key to open the trunk, when, in reality, it takes only a few seconds.

We both take a deep breath, preparing to see the little girl's body as he lifts the trunk lid.

We see that the little girl is bound with rope around her hands and feet. She has a gag in her mouth and her eyes are closed.

"I'll never get used to this kind of scene. I wonder if Charlie feels as sick to his stomach as I do at the moment.

Once the trunk lid is fully opened, the sunlight hits the little girl's face, and we see her eyelids wrinkle as she tries to shut them tighter to block out the beams of light that are now hitting her directly in the eyes. Charlie and I grin at each other.

"She's alive!" Charlie yells to the others. "She's alive."

Charlie pulls down her gag, and the little girl opens her eyes.

"It's okay, honey. I'm Sheriff Charlie, and we're going to get you back to your momma, okay?" The little girl nods.

"Are you hurt?" Charlie asks, and the little girl shakes her head.

The siren of the ambulance has stopped, and the paramedics are getting out of their vehicle.

"I've got some people who are coming to check to make sure that you're all right. We'll have you out of there in a minute after they make sure that you aren't hurt." The little girl just nods again in response.

It's time for me to get out of the way. I turn and see Mac standing in front of the Caddy, holding our son's hand with Cocoa sitting beside him.

Seeing Ty, I quickly jog over to them, jumping the new railing on the way. Ty's feet leave the ground less than a second later, and I have him in a hug. "Are you okay?" I ask just above a whisper.

"Yes. Momma said that you're okay and that you weren't really mad at her when you were yelling at her on the phone. You were just using code like in the movies to let her know to call the sheriff."

"Yes, I'm fine, and Momma's right. I wasn't angry. I was just giving her a coded message."

Mac smiles at me. "Your grandmother's right. You do find trouble."

"No, it finds me," I say, giving Ty another squeeze before leaning over to place a quick kiss on Mac's lips.

**RABB FARM HOUSE**

The sheriff asked us to leave everything where it was so that the State police could have a look at the scene, and he had one of his deputies drive Ty up to the house in a squad car while I rode back with Mac and Cocoa in my grandmother's car.

As a bonus for Ty, the deputy used the lights and siren, a gesture that didn't go over well when we pulled up to the house.

My parents had had to pull over to allow the police cars and ambulance to pass on their way to the farm. They'd been at the house long enough to find out the highlights of what was going on, so the sounds of the police car pulling up to the house had sent a signal to those inside that Ty or I had been hurt.

My parents and Mattie rush out of the house first to find out what had happened. The scare is forgiven when the three of us and Cocoa exit the cars and announce that we're all fine.

With all the excitement, lunch isn't on anyone's mind, and we spend a few minutes being hugged by everyone and then telling the parts of the story that we know.

About an hour passed from the time we arrived at the house until Charlie showed up to ask us a few questions.

After telling us that he'll give us an update after he gets the questioning out of the way, Charlie asks to speak to Ty. Ty is nervous, so Mac sits down on the couch next to him.

When Ty asks if I can sit with him, too, Charlie explains that he has to make sure that he answers in his own words and, since I was there, too, it might be hard for me not to try to answer for him. He continues by telling him that Mac can stay because she wasn't there.

I move to the kitchen to sit with everyone else at the kitchen table while Ty is being questioned about what happened up until I ordered him to run to the house.

I switch places with Ty and Mac when Charlie finishes questioning Ty.

Charlie follows me to the kitchen to give us the update that he promised when he finishes questioning me.

In Charlie's update, he tells us that the little girl hadn't been held in the trunk all three days, but had been there most of yesterday. However, since Alan Blake had been traveling at night, he'd put her in the back seat during the night, which had kept her from freezing to death. She didn't speak until her mother arrived, but once she'd said 'mommy,' she'd talked to the police and seemed to be doing fine. Other than being a little dehydrated and hungry, the doctor who'd checked her at the hospital had said that she seemed to be okay.

Charlie also told us that the suspect had filled them in on a couple of items, including the travel time line. When Blake had stolen the car, his plan had been to go to Philadelphia, but once he'd discovered the little girl in the car, he'd doubled back to Pittsburgh to drop her off somewhere populated enough that she'd be found, but not so busy that he'd be seen. He'd thought that he'd come up with the perfect place to drop her, but that's when he'd heard the AMBER alert on the radio about her. However, he didn't want to leave her in Pittsburg where she might be found before he got back out of the area, so he decided to go back to his original plan of going to Philly and leaving her there someplace, where he'd steal another car and drive on to New York. After the first day, he decided to travel only a few miles a day because the police would be looking for him in Philly or a long way from where he'd stolen the car. His plan had been going great until he'd run into Charlie's roadblock.

Christmas in the country is different from anywhere else. Here, they gather at the church starting at five thirty in a room that's used for everything from bingo to wedding receptions and they hold a potluck dinner before the evening service. So, by the time the sheriff had left the farm, it was time for all of us to get ready to head into town for Christmas Eve dinner, which is followed by the Christmas Eve service.

The events of earlier today make attending church for a little 'thank you' prayer seem appropriate, whether it's Christmas Eve or not.

**RABB FARM HOUSE **

**AFTER CHURCH SERVICE**

We're all sitting around the kitchen table talking. Ty isn't as eager to go to bed as he might have been if we were in San Diego. I'm unsure if it's because the events from this morning have started to sink in or if it's because we explained to him before we left California that Santa would be leaving his presents at his house and not at the farm before telling him that we'd be having a different kind of Christmas here. In the country, it isn't about what things you can buy someone. It's about putting thought into what you give them, whether it's something that you made yourself or something special of yours that you want them to have.

Ty hasn't left my side since we arrived for the potluck dinner at church. During the service, he sat in the pew between Frank and me. So it surprises me when he goes over and whispers something in Grandma Rabb's ear, and the two of them disappear from the room.

My grandmother returns a few minutes later, and I give her a questioning look. She ignores me and turns her attention to Frank.

I think that she shakes up Frank by the way that she lets him know that she doesn't have a problem with him making pancakes for everyone in the morning. "Frank, I haven't had a man cook breakfast for me in years, and I'm not about to let the opportunity go by of being able to tell everyone who'll listen that a man fixed breakfast for me on Christmas morning. So before I turn in, let me familiarize you with the cooking side of the kitchen."

The look on Frank's face makes her snicker.

When his tour of the kitchen is over, my grandma and Frank come back to the table. Frank takes his seat next to Mom, across from Mac and me, but Grandma bids us all a good night, citing that breakfast might be covered, but she has a Christmas dinner feast to prepare tomorrow, and the extra sleep will come in handy.

Since Mattie made her usual disappearing act after she and Mac had finished baking cookies when we returned to the farm after church, and since Ty has mysteriously left the room, once my grandma goes off to bed, Mac and I are left alone with my parents.

I glance at Mac, and she knows that I'm asking if she agrees that now is as good a time as any to tell my parents about our attempts to have a baby. Mac looks at me like I must be crazy to bring this up now.

They may not know the subject, but our silent discussion isn't going unnoticed by my parents, prompting my mother to ask with concern, "Harm, what's wrong?"

Having received a nod of consent from her, I take Mac's hand and begin, "Nothing's wrong, Mom, but we do have something that we want to share with you. We wanted to keep this between us, but, during this trip, we've found out that trying to keep it a secret wasn't the best plan. Mom, Frank, we want you to know that we've been seeing a fertility doctor to…"

Between Mac and me, we get out the whole story, all the way up to the current idea of adopting another child while continuing our efforts to have a baby. After answering a couple of their questions, Mac excuses herself to go check on Ty.

Mac returns to the kitchen a few minutes later, looking panicked. "He's gone. I checked with Mattie and I've looked in all the rooms. He's gone!"

"Don't worry. I'll bet that I know where he is," I say, jumping to my feet. I head for the door and grab my coat off the hook before heading out to the barn.

**HAYLOFT **

**MOMENTS LATER**

As soon as my head crests the loft floor and I'm able to see him, I ask, "Is it okay if I come up?"

"You can come up," Ty replies.

I make my way up and sit next to him. "What's got you out here at this hour?"

"I needed to think." He hesitates before continuing, "I was scared that the man was going to hurt you."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I was scared that he was going to hurt you."

"You were scared?"

"Yeah, it's okay to be scared. It's what you do _when_ you're scared that's important."

"What do you mean?"

"You were scared, but you didn't panic, and staying calm helped you to think clearly. So, when Cocoa grabbed his arm, you were able to get away from him. Being able to act in spite of your fear is what having courage is."

"Dad, how come you told me to run, but you didn't?"

"That's harder to explain, but I'll try. As your parents, it's part of our job to protect you. Most of the time, we do little things like making sure that you fasten your seatbelt or lock the doors at home, but, today, I needed to do more to make sure that you were safe. So I thought that the best thing to do was to stay with the man to give you time to get to the safety of the house before I ran. Does that make sense?"

He gets up on his knees as he says, "Yeah that makes sense." Then he hugs my neck as he adds, "You love me."

"Yes, I do," I say as I reciprocate his hug.

"I found out something else about this place tonight," Ty says as he turns and points out the hayloft door. "The way you see the sky from here, it makes you feel close to God. I was saying a prayer when you came up. I was thanking Him for making sure that I got you as a dad."

I pull him into another hug. I wait for a moment until I'm sure that my voice won't crack with emotion before I respond, but when I do speak, my voice is soft as I say, "I thanked Him a long time ago for making sure that we got you."

Unbeknown to the Rabb males above her, Mac had put on her coat and come out to see if Harm was right about Ty's location. She'd been standing on one of the lower rungs, listening to most of Harm and Ty's conversation. Mac wanted to go up and hug them both and maybe say a little prayer of her own, thanking God for keeping them both safe today, but she didn't go up. She stepped off the ladder to let father and son have their time together.

As Mac headed back to the house, the first sign of the winter storm that they were expecting began to show itself. The tiny snowflakes would become larger as the storm moved over them and, if the forecast was right, tomorrow, father and son would be able to have a snowball fight.

**HARM AND MAC'S ROOM **

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**

Mac is already snuggled into bed by the time that I get back from the barn and have Ty tucked in, so I move quietly so as not to wake her.

"You took so long that I figured you'd found him," Mac says, letting me know that she isn't asleep.

"Yes, I found him right where I thought I would. We talked and watched the snow fall for a few minutes before we came inside. I put him to bed and sat with him until he fell asleep."

"What did you talk about?"

"Oh, a lot of things."

"Anything that I should know about?"

"No, we just talked about stuff," I answer as I pull off my shirt.

Mac doesn't ask any more questions until I'm down to my boxers and reaching for my pajamas.

"Harm, why are you putting on pajamas? Did what happened today leave you uninterested in…me?"

She sounds disappointed. I guess she was thinking that we'd be repeating the loving way that we said good night to each other last night.

"It's Christmas Eve, Mac. Don't you want to go to sleep so that Santa Claus can come to the farm?" I say with a mischievous smile.

"If you'd rather have Santa come than have me, I'll let you go to sleep," she says with a playful pout.

I drop my pajamas on the end of the bed and move to join her. "Oh, I'd much rather have you," I say before our lips meet.


	123. Chapter 123

**EPILOGUE **

**DECEMBER 25, 2006**

I wake with Mac snuggled up close to me.

I start to get up, but I'm sore from the fight yesterday, so I decide that staying in bed with Mac to keep me warm for ten more minutes is my Christmas present to myself.

I spend at least that much time cuddled up with her until Mac starts to stir as the smell of coffee brewing makes it into our room. Then she opens her big, brown eyes and smiles at me.

"Good morning," I say to her.

Her grin gets even wider as she responds, "Merry Christmas, Harm." Then she leans over me and gives me the sweetest Christmas kiss that I've ever received.

After our Christmas morning kiss, she rests her head on my chest. We lay like that until we start hearing voices coming from the kitchen and we know that it's time to join the rest of the family.

We start our morning with Frank's pancakes before going into the living room to find that my grandmother's been busy. She's put several gifts under the tree and started a fire in the fireplace.

My grandmother had knitted a scarf for Mattie. She offered this explanation while Mattie pulled the navy blue scarf from the box to reveal that, along one end, she'd knitted the word RABB into it.

"I know that you live in San Diego and that your name isn't Rabb, but I wanted you to know that you're a Rabb to me, and that means that, if you ever need a place to get away from a crazy world, you can come here to see me anytime."

Grandma gave Ty a guitar, saying, "You remember the story that I told you about your dad getting a guitar the Christmas that he was eight? Well, that's the one." After Ty's said thank you to 'Grandma Rabb' for his gift, she had one more thing to say to Ty before she moved to the next gift. "I've been thinking about that shorter name for me than Grandma Rabb. I think that I've come up with something. You can call me Gee Gee, like the letter 'G' for great-grandma. What do you think?" she asked him.

"Gee Gee, I like it," he replied with a happy grin.

Next, she said that she had a gift for my mom and Frank. Her eyes softened as she presented them with a quilt that she'd made. "I've been holding onto this for a lot of years. It's made out of little Harm's clothing and blankets that I accumulated during your visits to the farm over the first four years of his life. My son loved you very much, Trish, but he'd be happy to see that you were able to find a good man to be there for you and his son when he couldn't be. The fact that you stuck it out, Frank, proves that you're a good man. I know that what I'm saying is years late, but I want you to know that I'm sorry that I wasn't more supportive from the beginning. I hope that you'll understand that it wasn't out of spite, but from pain that I acted the way I did, and forgive me. Frank, you've been in Harm's life much longer than my Harm was, so I hope that you and Trish will take the quilt as a reminder that the two of you are part of my family, too, and are welcome here anytime."

My mother is in tears by the time my grandmother finishes speaking. Mom takes the quilt, hands it to Frank and sniffles as she hugs my grandmother.

The last gift is for Mac and me. She offers a smaller quilt to Mac, a quilt for a baby.

"I made this before you arrived. I didn't know that there was a problem. I hope that you don't think that I'm being insensitive by giving it to you anyway. I think you'll understand if you unfold it."

Mac and I do as she instructed. We scan the quilt before Mac turns to me with tears in her eyes. The quilt is made in shades of yellows and greens, and the words love, faith and hope are embroidered on three of the quilt squares.

With my grandmother's gifts given, Mattie and Ty present her with a collage of pictures that catalogs the new limb of the Rabb family tree. The pictures include shots of just Mac and me together, pictures that include Mattie with us and, finally, a picture of us at dinner, celebrating the finalization of Ty's adoption. The central picture is of all four of us that was taken by a professional photographer to commemorate our first Christmas together as a family, so my mother has one from the same sitting under her tree, too, and one is gracing our mantel at home.

I open the envelope from Tom Johnson next. The envelope contains several legal documents and a letter of explanation as well as a plane ticket for Mattie. I read the letter and give everyone a summary of its contents.

Tom has sold Grace Aviation and has put the bulk of the money in a trust for Mattie, the funds of which are to be administered by me as I see fit, such as for college. As compensation for my administrative duties, a stipulation was placed on the sale of Grace Aviation, allowing me to store my plane there indefinitely without fees. The enclosed ticket for Mattie is for her to use if she wants to go to Blacksburg to spend the remainder of her vacation from school with him.

The last gift presented was a picture that Ty had drawn. It would seem that he'd asked his Grandma Rabb for a piece of paper to draw it on last night and that's why he'd left the room. He presents his work of art to Mac.

"It's a picture of what I want our family to look like next year," he explains. "That's you and Dad," he says, pointing to a different figure each time. "That's Mattie. That's my new sister, and the baby is in the stroller." Mac's on the verge of tears again by the time he finishes.

Hearing Ty explain to Mac the picture that he's drawn, I know that I'll have to tell her about the conversation that Ty and I had last night in the hayloft. Though I'm sure that it will make her cry more, it'll help her to truly understand the picture that he's drawn.

After the run-in with the car thief yesterday and the surprises and sentiments of Christmas gift giving and receiving, the rest of our Christmas in the country isn't nearly as exciting, but it is very relaxing and enjoyable.

We spend Christmas Day playing in the snow, writing our 'thankful lists' for Thanksgiving next year and eating the feast that my grandmother prepares for dinner.

Christmas night, I have that talk with Mac about Ty wanting a sister. I also tell her that I think that she had the right age in mind, five or six. Ty should have the privilege of being a big brother.

When I finish speaking, with her brown eyes staring at me, she asks, "Does that mean…?"

"It means that we need to call Mrs. Morales when we get back to San Diego and ask some questions about the process of adopting again and that we keep up the IVF stuff while we're waiting to see what happens."

I have a very happy Marine on my hands, and the kiss that she bestows on me reflects it.

The 26th is our last day at the farm.

Frank, Ty, and I finish up the things that I'd wanted to get done while I was here.

It was probably quite a sight for someone to watch Frank and me as we struggled to finish up the fence repair with all the snow on the ground, but we managed to do it and get the other two remaining items done before dinner.

The night of the 26th was somber since we were all leaving the farm the next morning. In fact, we were now leaving even earlier in the day than originally planned so that Mattie could catch her flight to Virginia to see her father.

I was worried about Mattie flying for the first time since her accident without one of us, but she assured me that she'd be okay. She said that she'd call when she got to her house there so that we wouldn't worry, but that we'd better do the same and call her when we got home so that she wouldn't worry.

The scene at the farm on the morning of the 27th was like leaving the perfect Christmas place found only on postcards or seen in a Currier and Ives painting.

We left knowing that no Christmas would ever be like this year's Christmas in the country.


	124. Chapter 124

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - OVERCOMING THE PAST **

**PROLOGUE**

**SATURDAY, JANUARY 6, 2007**

Petty Officer Second Class Carl Sherman was just twenty years old and not a bad looking guy. Carl was coming up on the end of his second year in the service, and his duty at the Personnel Support Detachment at North Island was a far cry from the life that he'd left behind.

He hadn't had a good childhood, but since joining the Navy, he'd become good at pretending that all of the bad stuff had happened to someone else.

Carl was quiet and reserved, but not shy except when it came to talking to women. When he was out with the guys, they'd tease him because, when a girl looked in his direction, he'd break out in a sweat. The jibe that seemed to get the most chuckles among the guys was, "'Forty-year old Virgin' was a movie, not real. You don't have to try to break his record!"

They were wrong, but Carl knew that trying to set the record straight would only cause a back and forth conversation that, at some point, would lead him to reveal how he'd received his education about sex and how he'd lost his virginity. It was an experience of which he hoped to take the details to his grave.

Carl shook his head violently, trying to toss the thoughts of his father out of his head, and returned to getting dressed. Tonight, he and Petty Officer Third Class Warren Clark, his roommate, and Petty Officer Second Class Robert 'Rob' Logan were going out to celebrate the New Year, even if it was a little belated.

Logan came to the door. "You two all prettied up yet? There are women waitin' for us!"

**GASLAMP QUARTER**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

Betty approached the young man sitting alone at the bar. "I think that you and I are in the same boat." He looked at her, slightly confused. "I mean that your friends have left you sitting alone while they're out on the floor dancing."

"I'm not a good dancer anyway, so I'm better off sitting here. That way, I don't step on anyone's toes."

She laughed, and it sounded like music to Carl's ears. His heart skipped a beat. "I'm Carl," he said, introducing himself.

"My name is Betty," she responded.

Carl and Betty sat at the bar and started to converse, covering all of the usual 'just met you topics' from what do you do for a living to where are you from over the course of the next couple of hours.

It was after eleven and closing in on what Betty called her Cinderella moment. Being single was difficult enough, but meeting men in a bar could be dangerous, so Betty had made herself follow a few rules. The number one rule was never, no matter how nice he seemed to be or how cute he was, take a guy home the same night you met him. Rule number two, never stay at a bar past midnight if you meet a guy you like because it could lead to breaking rule number one.

Betty looked at Carl. "I've had a nice time talking with you, but I need to head home."

Betty was a nice girl, and Carl was having a much better time than he'd ever thought that he'd have tonight. "Do you have to go?" Carl asked shyly.

"Yeah, I do." She felt nervous all of a sudden. "But if you'd like to talk again or maybe go out, you can call me." She took out a pen, wrote her cellphone number down on a napkin and pushed it across the bar to him.

"I'd like that. I'll call you tomorrow," Carl replied with a smile.

"I'm looking forward to it," she said before placing a barely-there kiss on Carl's lips. "Good night," she said softly before she turned to leave.

Warren had been keeping an eye on his inexperienced buddy, and when he saw Betty kiss him and then Carl let her walk away, he quickly moved to the bar.

"She was into you. So why are you just sitting here? Go after her," he encouraged as they watched Betty walk towards the table where her friends were sitting.

"She's leaving. I guess she turns into a pumpkin at midnight or something," Carl said jokingly.

Warren thought that Carl was wrong, but when one of the ladies at the table hugged her like they were saying goodbye or good night, he changed his mind.

As the young woman continued to speak to the ladies at the table where she'd been sitting earlier in the evening, Rob came up to his friends at the bar.

They could tell that Rob had been drinking heavily because he didn't have to be close to them for them to smell the alcohol. He reeked of it, but, surprisingly, his speech was still clear.

"You know, if you prefer, boys, just tell me that she isn't your type and pass her number to me. It's a man's duty to love women and make them feel as if they've been thoroughly loved," Rob said, turning his head and looking over his shoulder in order to scan the room until his eyes settled on the cute brunette who'd been talking to his friend a few moments ago. "I hear duty calling. I'll see you guys in the morning," he added before leaving Carl and Warren at the bar.

Rob's words sounded similar to those of Carl's father.

Carl looked towards the table where Betty had been standing a few moments ago. She wasn't there. He dashed out of the club to look for her.

Carl returned to the club a little while later and took a look around the thinning crowd to see if Betty was anywhere inside.

Satisfied that Betty had left the club, he put his hand in his pocket to make sure that the napkin with her number was still in there as he settled onto a bar stool and ordered a beer.

Carl lifted his beer to his lips and started to drink. He'd used alcohol to drown out his father's words and wash the image of his father from his head before, and he'd do it again tonight.

Carl woke up in his bunk at the barracks about midday on Sunday with a hangover, not remembering how he got there. In fact, the only thing that he remembered was talking with an attractive brunette named Betty who had a laugh that sounded like music.

Carl decided to wait until his head was clear and he was feeling more like himself before calling her to see if she'd see him again.


	125. Chapter 125

**PART ONE**

**TUESDAY JANUARY 9, 2007**

**RABB HOME**

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**MORNING**

**HARM'S POV**

I open the bedroom door, trying to balance the breakfast tray in my hands so as not to get anything on my uniform.

"I hope you're hungry. I brought you some breakfast," I say as I move closer to the bed.

"You know, I could get used to this kind of service," she says as she sits up to eat.

I place the tray across her lap and a kiss on her forehead. "Well, I wouldn't mind spoiling you, but I don't think that you can run your office from our bed."

Mac scrunches up her face into a cross between a pout and a frown. "Probably not, but did you have to rain on my parade so early in the day?"

"Sorry." I give her a sad look so that she'll take it easy on me as I take a seat next to her on the bed.

"It's okay. I shouldn't be taking out my frustration on you. If Dr. Daniels hadn't had that emergency that kept her from doing the egg transfer earlier in the day yesterday, I wouldn't be stuck here in bed this morning. I guess I should be looking on the bright side. I mean, when my cycle started before we got home from the farm, we agreed that, in order to reduce my stress around this time, we'd wait to call Mrs. Morales until after the egg transfer. Well, I can call her this morning while I have some free time and I can read the newspaper from start to finish without interruption, all before I have to get up and go into work for a couple of hours this afternoon."

"You never know. You could be becoming pregnant while you're lying here in bed this morning."

"That's depressing."

"How is becoming pregnant depressing?" I ask curiously, given the procedures that we've been going through to get that way.

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean to think that I could be in bed all alone and become pregnant..." Mac gives me a shy, sexy look and bats her eyelashes. "...and being in bed without you is depressing."

"I can understand that." I softly press my lips against hers before pulling back. "I wish that I could stay, but I have to get Ty to school and myself to the office." I give her another quick kiss. "But you call me if you need anything."

She offers me a nod, and I stand to leave. I bend over and brush my lips against her forehead. "I love you."

"And I love you," she says with such emotion that I think that she's about to cry.

I leave the room and, because I wouldn't be able to leave the house if she were in tears, I send Ty into our room with the newspaper that she wanted to read this morning and so that he can say goodbye before we leave the house.

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER **

Mac made it through just about half of the newspaper, three quarters if you counted the parts like the sports section that she wasn't going to read, before it was finally a reasonable hour to try to reach Mrs. Morales.

Mac left the newspaper open to the page where she'd stopped reading while she dialed the phone.

The page staring up at her had a continuation of a story that she wanted to finish reading, but she had no interest in the Police Blotter Section located in the middle of the page. However, she found her eyes scanning over the blips anyway while she listened to the ringing phone on the other end of the line.

Robbery, assault, auto theft, assault, disturbance call and other such calls were listed, and the last one she scanned before her call was answered was a sexual assault call in the Gaslamp Quarter.

"This is Rosa Morales. How may I help you?" the voice on the other end said, pulling Mac's eyes from the paper.

"Mrs. Morales, this is Sarah Rabb. You probably don't remember me, but -"

"No, on the contrary, I remember you and your husband very well. I monitored your care of Tyler for the Virginia court."

"Yes, that's right." Mac was impressed that the woman had remembered them since it had been months since she'd seen them last, and she was sure that Mrs. Morales was a busy woman.

Mrs. Morales couldn't believe who was on the phone. She'd taken over a case of two little girls just last week from a retiring social worker in her office. When she'd heard their story, the Rabbs had popped into her mind as the perfect parents for them, but she didn't know if she should contact them or not. She hoped that this call from Mrs. Rabb would be the answer to her prayers for those girls.

"I'm calling because my husband and I have some questions that we felt that you could answer for us about adopting in this state."

"Are they general questions or do you have a child in mind for which you have case specific questions?"

"They're general questions. When we adopted Tyler, we were told that we were being allowed to skip a few steps, so we'd like an overview of what to expect as far as California law is concerned, how long adoptions usually take, the possibility of adopting an infant and other information like that."

"Do you have a few minutes now or would you like for me to meet with you and your husband?" Mrs. Morales asked, trying not to become giddy. There was a huge gap between asking questions and actually being ready to adopt a child, let alone two.

"If it isn't too much trouble for you to meet with us, that might be the best way."

"Let me grab my calendar and let's see what we can set up." There were a few moments of silence while Rosa checked her calendar. "I'm pretty booked this week in the evening, but if we could meet for lunch, I could meet with you before the end of the week."

"How about lunch on Thursday?" Mac suggested.

"Sure, where, and is noon okay for you?" Mrs. Morales asked.

Mac hung up the phone after making the appointment with Mrs. Morales, and she immediately called Harm's office.

Harm was still in his morning meeting. Of course he was, given the time. What had she been thinking, she wondered.

She hadn't been thinking. That was the problem. Her mind had been focused on Thursday and finding out the steps that they'd need to take in order to add to their family.

Mac returned to reading the newspaper while she waited for the time to pass so that she could get up and get dressed for work.

It seemed like a waste to go in for only a couple of hours, but since this hadn't been scheduled to be a day off for her, it was necessary that she go in to check on a few things after getting the proper number of hours of rest that the doctor had ordered after her egg transfer late yesterday afternoon.

**JLS OFFICE **

**LUNCHTIME **

Mac had stayed in bed as long as she could, but with less than half an hour left on the clock, she'd started to fidget and couldn't stay put any longer.

She drove to her office, thinking of excuses if Harm found out that she'd shaved a little time off of her prescribed bed rest.

'Ten or fifteen minutes wouldn't make a difference.' No, that one wasn't any good because, when she got a negative pregnancy test, even she'd wonder if ten or fifteen minutes could have made a difference. 'I can tell him that it's his fault. I got restless because he never returned my phone call.' No, blaming him wouldn't serve any purpose. She'd just have to be honest. She'd been bored and had to get up.

Mac entered the office and found the place to be very quiet. She knew that some staff would be in court and some at lunch, but the place was too quiet - scary quiet. What was going on?

Mac was on her way to her office when she heard an all too familiar voice, her husband's, and from what she heard him say, he wasn't here on a social call.

The door to the conference room was open a crack, and what she heard was, "You're saying that she left the club first, but alone."

"That's correct," a female voice replied.

Mac pushed open the door a little. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but…" She was scanning the room as she spoke. The female voice belonged to a petty officer on her support staff, and Harm hadn't come alone. Agent O'Malley was with him. This definitely wasn't a social call. "…I'd like to know what's going on and why, if you're questioning my staff, I wasn't informed."

I stand as I say, "That'll be all, Petty Officer. Thank you."

While the petty officer was making her way out, Vern offered, "I'm goin' to see if I can round up a cup of coffee. Do either of you want me to bring you one?" Vern wasn't expecting an answer from either one of them based on the way that they were looking at each other, but he waited for a moment just in case before leaving the room mumbling, "I didn't think you would, but I didn't want to be rude by not askin'."

We have our eyes locked on each other. "Aren't you a little early for work?" I ask.

"Don't try to change the subject. What are you doing here without notifying me? You could have mentioned the fact this morning over breakfast that you were going to be questioning my staff."

"First, I didn't know that I was going to be here. It wasn't until after the morning meeting that Landon asked Vern and me to come over here and ask a few questions. Second, we aren't questioning your entire staff and none of them is in any trouble, so there really wasn't a reason to disturb you at home when you were supposed to be resting."

"If no one on my staff is in trouble, why are you here?"

"There was a sexual assault -"

Mac didn't know how she knew that it was the same one, but she did and finished for him. "- in the Gaslamp Quarter."

"Yes, but how did you know that if Coates didn't call you?" I ask curiously.

"I was scanning the crimes that were reported in this morning's paper while I was waiting for Mrs. Morales to answer her phone and I saw it." Mac swallowed down a lump in her throat. "Is the victim a member of my staff?"

"No, she isn't on your staff, but she works in this building with the Naval Reserve Center. I don't have a complete report, but among the little tidbits that we've been able to get from your favorite San Diego police detective, Mr. Parker, the victim was at a singles' mixer at a club with several members of your support staff. That's why Vern and I are here asking questions. Landon doesn't want to fight the San Diego PD for jurisdiction, but he wanted Vern and me to ask a few questions to try to determine if the attack had anything to do with her being in the military. If so, he _does_ want NCIS to have the case."

"Do you have enough information to determine that?" she asks.

"She wasn't in uniform and, from what we've been able to determine by interviewing some of the women who she was with at the club, they weren't making it known that they were in the Navy. So, no, I don't believe so."

"Did the victim say that she felt that she was attacked because she was in the military?"

"Vern and I haven't been able to talk to her. The doctor had to sedate her last night. No one's been able to question her yet. Since it really isn't our case and to limit the number of times that she has to talk about it, Vern and I will just ask Detective Parker to give us a copy of her statement."

"I'll have to talk to Coates about calling me next time."

"About that…don't be too upset with her. I -"

"Did you order her not to call me?" she asks with one hand on her hip.

"No, but I did say that I didn't think that it was necessary for her to call you when you'd be here before we left and that I'd tell you what was going on."

"I see," she says sharply.

She's upset with me. I break eye contact for the first time since she came into the room. "I'm sorry. I let being your husband interfere with you being a CO. I shouldn't have discouraged Coates from calling you."

She's still miffed. I can tell by the way she's standing. When she speaks, she offers me a way to make it up to her. "If you promise never to do it again and you work out a way to meet Mrs. Morales and me for lunch on Thursday, I might let you off the hook."

I raise my eyes back to meet hers. "I promise not to let my husband status interfere with the way you run your command again."

"And..." She's smirking

"And I'll be available for lunch on Thursday," I say, throwing in a smile for good measure.

"Don't you use that smile on me when I'm angry with you."

"But I don't want you to be angry with me." This time, I add a raised eyebrow to the grin.

"I need to get to work. I'll see you at home," she says as if she's dismissing me.

Her demeanor didn't change. I'm still in the doghouse. I'll try being extra helpful. "You want me to pick up Ty for you tonight?"

"That would be nice, but I don't want to make dinner, so I'll pick him up."

"I wasn't suggesting a trade. I'll do both."

Her stance relaxes a little, and I see a trace of a smile on her face. "That would be very nice, thank you."

Mac was having trouble not breaking into too big a smile. She'd managed to keep him on the defensive so she'd been able to dodge his question about her being a little early for work, but she didn't want him to be worried about their relationship for the rest of the day. So, since it was just the two of them in the room, she'd let him off the hook. She moved close to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before offering him a warm smile. "I love you. I'll see you at home."

"And I love you. Any requests for dinner?" I ask.

"No requests," she says before she turns to leave.

I smile as I watch her walk away. How did I ever live without her in my life this way? I'm a lucky guy.


	126. Chapter 126

**PART TWO **

**THURSDAY, JANUARY 11, 2007**

**VINNIE'S BISTRO**

**LUNCHTIME**

**HARM'S POV**

Our time allotted for lunch is coming to an end, and Mac and I have exchanged a few glances, but I haven't gotten a feel for how she wants to end things with Mrs. Morales.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I can say that I didn't expect Mrs. Morales to be so eager to 'sign us up' that she'd bring an application for us to fill out, which is the first step in the adoption process. Because of her enthusiasm, I feel like we'll be bursting her bubble if we tell her that we'd like to think over the answers that she's given us to our questions and get back to her.

My cellphone rings, and I pull it out of my inside jacket pocket. The caller ID says that it's my office. I look at Mrs. Morales. "It's my office. I need to take this. Please excuse me."

"Of course," Mrs. Morales says before I look at Mac, who gives me an understanding nod as I push my chair back away from the table to answer my phone.

I don't make it away from the table to answer it before the call goes to voice mail, so I have to call them back when I get to some place quieter than the dining area to talk.

I return to the table a few minutes later, and Mac can see it on my face. "You have to go?" she asks.

"Yes…I'm sorry, Mrs. Morales. There may be a break in a case, and I need to go."

"Unless you had more questions, I think we were finished. I'll just leave the application with your wife and let you two think it over. Just do me one favor. Call me when you've made a decision, even if you choose not to adopt at this time."

"We appreciate you meeting with us. We'll let you know as soon as we've reached a decision." I shake her hand and turn to Mac. "I'll see you at home," I say before I bend over and place a quick kiss on Mac's cheek and leave to meet with Vern and Detective Parker.

**SAN DIEGO COUNTY POLICE HQ**

**AN HOUR LATER**

Vern is standing in the lobby when I enter police headquarters.

"Vern."

"Harm, sorry to have interrupted your lunch, but when Detective Parker said that he had a young petty officer in for questioning on the rape from Saturday night, I thought that it would save time if we were both here."

"I'm glad you called. Not only is it a time-saver to have us both here at the same time, but it also gave me a perfect way to put an end to an awkward lunch meeting."

"I've been here for a couple of minutes. They..." He points to people behind the counter. "...tell me that Parker will be up in a minute."

After five or six minutes of pacing, Detective Parker comes out of a door to our left, carrying a file folder in his hand. "Gentlemen, come this way."

We don't walk long before Detective Parker comes to a stop in the hall and pushes a door open to our right. "We can talk in here." He motions for us to have a seat and, while we sit, he begins. "I'll get right to the point. We've brought in Petty Officer Second Class Carl Sherman for questioning for that rape that took place on Saturday night in the Gaslamp Quarter. You're here because my captain said to bring in NCIS because, if it turns out to be a Navy on Navy crime, the DA wants to turn the case over to you and save the State some money. I've got some information for you here." He drops the file on the table in front of us. "I'll give you a few minutes to look over what we've got so far and then I'll come back in a while to give you the information that hasn't been typed up yet. You need anything until I get back?"

Vern is already opening the file, so I know that he's ready to get to work. Therefore, I acknowledge the detective's question. "No, we're fine."

"Then I'm going to check on the suspect to see if he's made any kind of statement to my partner and see if the other reports are finished. That should give you enough time to read over what I've given you."

"That'll be fine, my boy. We'll be ready when you are," Vern says while flipping through the pages in the file.

Detective Parker leaves the room. "He seems a bit out of sorts that we're here," Vern comments on the demeanor of Detective Parker before switching the topic to the task at hand. "I don't see much of nothin' here in this report. Paramedics state that she was conscious, but seemed confused. They weren't able to determine at the scene if the confusion was from shock or from a possible concussion, the existence of which was based on their observation of a laceration to the left side of her face at her temple, other smaller facial lacerations and contusions and a probable broken nose. She was transported by ambulance from the scene. That's it for this page. "

I've grabbed the next piece of paper and I start to give Vern a summary. "The medical report from the hospital says that she had a mild concussion and a broken nose along with minor cuts and bruises to her face, arms and genital region. It wasn't until they began to gather the evidence of the rape that she became so emotionally distraught that they felt that it was best to sedate her. When the sedation wore off several hours later, the afternoon of the seventh, she seemed fine until the police arrived to question her. This report says that the police were there for only a couple of minutes when Miss Milton again became so upset that it was felt best to sedate her. She was kept sedated until her mother arrived on the afternoon of the eighth to be with her. The morning of the ninth, the police were able to visit with Miss Milton and, with her mother present, obtain a partial statement before the patient had to be sedated again."

Vern is already scanning the next paper in the stack. "Let's see, the partial statement says, 'The victim had met friends at the club, but just before midnight, she had decided to call it a night. She was walking towards her car when a man coming from farther back in the parking lot, like he'd just gotten there, asked her, 'Is the party worth the cover or should I save my money for another time?' She replied that she'd met someone nice so she thought that it was well worth the cover.' The description that she gave fits a lot of men: male, about six feet, in his twenties, dark hair or least it looked that way at night, cut short and clean shaven. According to her statement, she says that he told her to have a good night and walked past her. She reached her car, unlocked it and opened the driver's door before she felt someone grab her arms and push her. She lost her balance and hit the side of her head against the corner of the open car door as she fell to the ground. He pushed against the back of her head, forcing her face and nose into the asphalt. 'Then, as he pushed up my skirt, he said, "You're lucky that I picked you to love tonight." Then he…' At that point, it says that she became so upset that the doctor felt that she needed to be sedated again."

I've just started reading over the last piece of paper in the file. "This one is a statement from the friend who found the victim in the parking lot and called 911."

"Does she say that she saw anyone around?" Vern asks.

"You didn't expect the San Diego PD to let us come in on this if the case was that easy, did you?" I ask.

"You've got a point," Vern replies just before the door opens.

Detective Parker has returned.

"I've come to find out if you're ready to hear how Sherman became a person of interest and read the last piece of the file." He waves a single sheet of paper in the air.

"We're ready," I reply.

"Mrs. Milton called me yesterday morning. She'd taken her daughter home, and she seemed to be settling in okay until she checked her cellphone messages. She says that her daughter started crying and couldn't stop. When she asked her daughter about it, she couldn't or wouldn't say anything. She just started to cry harder. After her daughter went to sleep, her mother listened to the messages and then she called me. The typed transcript of the messages is what I've got here." He puts the paper on the table and pushes it towards us.

I pick it up and read over the transcribed messages:

Monday, January 8, 2007 - 1700 – "Betty, it's Carl. I was hoping to be able to talk to you. I hope you aren't angry at me for not calling sooner. I wasn't feeling well on Sunday. I was just calling to tell you that I had a good time Saturday night and to see if you did, too."

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 - 1730 – "I thought maybe I'd get to talk to you by calling a little later in the evening tonight. I'll call again later this evening to see if I can catch you."

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 – 1900 – "I don't know if you're avoiding my calls or if you're out of town or something. I was hoping that you'd had a good time on Saturday, too, and you'd want to see me again. If you could just call me and let me know that you're okay but you just don't want to go out with me, I'll quit calling you."

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 – 1905 – "I don't know if you have caller ID or not, so I guess if I want to make sure that you can call me, I should leave my number. It's 619-555-1555. I hope that you'll call me soon.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 – 0700 – I was hoping that by calling you early, I'd get to speak to you. I'm not usually this way with girls. Do you believe in love at first sight? I fell for you on Saturday night, Betty, and I just wanted to know if you felt something, too. I just want to tell you that I think that you're really special. I don't want you to think that I'm stalking you and make you afraid of me, so I won't call you anymore. Goodbye."

"It took us some time, but, because it wasn't a prepaid phone, we were able to track the cellphone number that he left to Petty Officer Sherman. We picked him up a couple of hours ago and brought him in for questioning. When we sat him down in the interrogation room, we told him that we were waiting for NCIS to join us. He asked why we all wanted to talk to him. We told him that we wanted to talk to him about Betty Milton, a girl who he'd met on Saturday night. My partner has been sitting with him, but he says that Sherman hasn't asked any questions or said anything while he's been waiting."

"Well, let's go see what the boy has to say for himself." Vern looks at me. "With my retirement effective at the end of the business day next Friday, I hope that we can wrap this up in a week so that I don't have to walk away and leave my last case unfinished. You don't suppose that he'll confess, do you?"

I put my hand on Vern's shoulder as we stand to follow Parker out of the room. "I won't let the case go unfinished, even if we don't get a confession and it takes more than a week."

"I'm goin' to hold you to that, my boy."

**RABB HOME OFFICE**

**LATE NIGHT **

Mac paced outside the office door for five minutes and thirteen seconds before she gave up and opened the door.

"Harm, it's late. When are you coming to bed?"

"I'll be in soon. You were there when I got that call after lunch. I was out of the office most of the afternoon. I told you after we put Ty to bed that I had some work to do tonight before I could get any sleep."

"I know you said that you had some work to do, but we have something to talk about. I know that we won't be making a decision tonight, but I think that we should share our initial thoughts on what Mrs. Morales had to say today while it's still fresh in our minds."

I don't know what to say to her. I'm not really against the idea, but, on the other hand, I'm not one hundred percent behind another adoption either.

She moves towards the desk. "Or is it that you've made up your mind and you're just trying to avoid talking to me so that you don't have to tell me that you don't want to adopt again." She sounds hurt and unhappy.

"I don't know what I want, Mac." I sigh in exasperation as she moves around to my side. I look up at her. "I take that back. I want Ty to have a sibling. I want us to have a baby. I want you to be happy. I want…I want it all, but -"

"- But you can't figure out a way to do it," she finishes for me.

I pull her onto my lap. "No, I can't."

She leans against me and rests her forehead against my cheek as we sit there in my chair together in silence for a few minutes before she lifts her head to look me in the eye before speaking.

"Harm, we've talked about stopping the IVF treatments to settle another child into the family, but that doesn't mean that we can't go back to trying to have a baby after that. Maybe in all the talk about adoption, I haven't made myself clear. I don't want to give up on us having a baby, but I'm trying to be realistic. I may never be able to have our baby. I know that you're willing to use a surrogate, but I just can't agree to that. For me, a surrogate means that you've given up on me ever being the mother of your child, and I'm not ready to concede that yet. I need more time."

I see the sadness on her face and the moisture pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"Mac, I don't want to push you into something that you aren't ready for." I pull her hand to my lips and place a kiss in her palm. "I'm not opposed to adopting again. I just thought that adoption was your way of telling me that you were through with trying to have a baby and -"

"- And you aren't ready to concede that yet," she finishes for me again.

"You really need to stop finishing my sentences for me," I say teasingly.

She smiles, and the sadness starts to fade.

"I should let you get back to work." She places a kiss on my cheek and then her legs start to slide down towards the floor in preparation to stand.

"Why don't you help me put this stuff away? I think it's time to go to bed where I can hold my wife and get some sleep."

"I'd like that."

I know that I have a silly 'in love' grin on my face as we put the papers away, but I don't care.

I may not be sure about adopting again, but I am sure that I love my wife and that I want to hold her in my arms every night for the rest of my life.


	127. Chapter 127

**PART THREE **

**SATURDAY, JANUARY 20, 2007**

**DRIVEWAY OF THE RABB HOME **

**AFTER BREAKFAST**

I've just raised the hood of my 'Vette when I hear Mattie's voice coming from right behind me.

"Is something wrong with your car?"

"No, just doing a maintenance check. I've got a date tonight and I want to make sure that the car is in tip-top shape."

"You have a date?" Mattie sounds indigent.

"Yeah, I'm taking Mac to an agent's retirement party tonight."

"Oh, yeah, you mentioned that at dinner last night. I forgot. Mac seemed so happy on Tuesday when Mrs. Morales came to talk to everyone about you guys adopting another child, but it didn't last long. I hope that going out tonight cheers her up."

"Me, too."

"I have something that I want to talk to her about, but I don't want to bother her when she's upset. Do you know why she's upset so I'll know how long I might have to wait?"

"Nothing's happened. That's the problem." Mattie looks confused, so I explain. "After Mrs. Morales talked to you and Tyler, she left with the application for adoption, but we haven't heard anything yet. It's been only a few days, and I don't really think that Mac expected to hear something this soon, but when you add not knowing if we'll get to the next step with another adoption to the fact that, on Monday, we'll find out if this month's attempt to have a baby was successful or not, Mac's really stressed and depressed."

"Don't leave out irritable."

"…And irritable. If you have something on your mind, you can talk to me."

"Where's Ty? He's usually glued to your side when you're home."

"He's between here and the end of the block, riding the bike that he got for Christmas. So, if you want to talk, I'm available now...or, if you need to leave for work, I can take you so we can talk on the way."

"Paul's picking me up and taking me to work today." She pauses. I don't know if she's trying to decide if she wants to talk to me now or if she's contemplating if she wants to talk to me at all. "At Christmas..." she starts hesitantly. "...I asked Grandma Rabb and Mac how you know if you're in love. Maybe a man's point of view would be helpful, so, Harm, how do you know if you're in love?"

"Do you know why no one can give you an exact answer to that question?" She shakes her head negatively. "Because everyone has a different idea of what love is. There's just no standard answer that works for everyone. At the risk of sounding like I'm avoiding answering that question, I'd have to say that 'you just know.' If it helps, I don't think that knowing that you're in love is the difficult part. I think that the hard part is realizing what kind of love it is that you're feeling."

"Dad!" We hear Ty yell, trying to get my attention.

I look up to see Ty peddling by. "You'd better slow it down, speed racer," I say as he goes by, and then I look back at Mattie.

"What do you mean by 'kind of love'?" she asks.

"Well, there's the kind of love relationship that a child has for a parent and a parent has for a child. Then there's the kind of love for a dear friend. However, when friendships involve a member of the opposite sex, feelings can get mixed up. Whether it's nature or learned, we tend to look at the opposite sex for the purpose of sizing them up as a mate. So you may feel something for someone as a friend, but because they're the opposite sex, you think that it's the romantic kind of love. Or the reverse is true, and you think that it's love stemming from a close friendship, but it's really the romantic kind."

"Is that why it took you so long to get together with Mac? You thought that you loved her as just a friend?"

"It was probably one of the reasons, but certainly not the only one. I've told you before that Mac's and my relationship was complicated."

"Care to elaborate on the other reasons?"

"No."

"So you're saying that it's possible that you feel 'love,' but it can turn out that it isn't the happily-ever-after kind of love."

"Exactly, but to make matters more complicated, sometimes it's the together-forever kind, but the wrong time for it to work, but, at another time or place, it will work."

"You and Mac again."

"Yes. There was a time on a ferry ... far, far away, when I think that we both knew that there was something more than friendship between us, but I wasn't ready at the time."

"Why not?"

"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" I give her a sideways glance and take in a breath, preparing to answer her.

I can thank Ty for giving me much needed experience in handling complicated situations and being able to explain them in a simpler way. His inquisitive nature has given me a lot of practice in the ten months that we've had him.

Turning back towards Mattie, I attempt to explain, "I'd requested a change from JAG to active flight status. The transfer happened faster than I thought it would and, in the rush to get back to flying a Tomcat, I left in a hurry, leaving a broken relationship with a woman whom I'd been dating, among other things. I hadn't been back at JAG from flight status very long when Mac and I were on that ferry, and I was still settling in and didn't think that I was in a place to start a relationship with anyone, especially one that, if it didn't work out, I'd lose my best friend and a relationship that I felt was one of the most important ones of my life."

"Let me guess...you didn't explain it to Mac like that, so she didn't know to wait."

"Funny how women understand each other. If I'd had you around then to explain to me how she'd taken it, Mac and I might have been married sooner," I say with a grin.

Mattie grins back at me and then changes the subject. "Paul should be here in a few minutes. I should go in and get my purse."

"Okay," I say before reaching into the engine compartment and pulling out the dipstick to check the oil in my car.

Ty has made another pass and called out to me as he whizzed by. I've checked the oil and a couple of other things by the time that Mattie returns with her purse. She stops beside me at the car.

"When it's over, do you just know that, too?"

"I'm not sure that I can help in this area. In most of my relationships, I didn't do the breaking up, so, for me, when a woman with whom I was involved left, I knew that it was over because I never felt compelled to chase after her to try to make it work."

"Because you know that it's over, it doesn't hurt when it ends, does it?" Mattie asks softly.

"No matter how sure you are that it's the right thing to do, it'll hurt, but you need to know that staying with someone to avoid the hurt of ending it isn't fair to either one of you and, believe it or not, staying will cause more hurt in the long run than a break up will."

We both hear a car pulling into the driveway and look up. It's Paul.

Mattie steps closer to me. "I'm not sure that I know what I want to do, but thanks for the advice."

"Anytime," I respond before she puts her arms around me and gives me a hug.

"I need to get going. I'll see you tonight," she says as she turns to walk towards Paul's car.

A couple of moments later, Paul is backing out of the driveway and Mattie's on her way to work.

**BUILDING 721**

**ENLISTED BARRACKS**

**NORTH ISLAND**

**MID MORNING**

He hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep in two weeks. The images of her barely able to move under his weight, attempting to struggle with him as he loved her replayed in his head as he tried to take a nap, but the details were starting to fade.

He found no peace in sleep and woke up in a sweat. He'd sworn that he wouldn't do it again. He hadn't done it in years. The last time had been when he was seventeen.

He didn't know why he'd gone after that woman two weeks ago, but he had, and the rush had made him feel alive inside.

He'd been fighting the feeling for two weeks, but just two days ago, the beast within him had seen a woman who fed his desires. A young, beautiful brunette in her late teens who was here going to school full time while her father was stationed in Hawaii had come into PSD to get her dependent ID card renewed.

Tonight, he'd try to put his monster to sleep with alcohol, but it wouldn't work and, in Chula Vista, he'd claim a second victim - a pretty, brunette college student.

**FIVE STAR BANQUET HALL**

**O'MALLEY PARTY **

**EVENING**

The hour immediately following dinner had been devoted to roasting and toasting Agent Vernon O'Malley, who's retiring, but now a live band has begun to play and dancing has begun.

While Mr. and Mrs. O'Malley danced the first dance to kick things off, Mac excused herself to use the ladies room, and I'm still waiting for her. I look at my watch – I've been waiting for almost six minutes.

I was hoping that bringing Mac tonight would serve as a way to cheer her up or at least take her mind off of things for a little while, but it hasn't. In fact, it may have made things worse.

When we arrived, I started to introduce her to a few people, one of which was Agent Victor Michaels, but when he introduced his wife – I was sorry. I didn't know that his wife was pregnant.

If the mingling before dinner had been the only exposure that we had to Mrs. Michaels, it might have been an uncomfortable, passing moment in the evening. However, we were seated at the same table as the guest of honor, Vern O'Malley, and his wife, and Mr. and Mrs. Michaels.

During dinner, Mac just sort of pushed her food around on her plate, and I suspect that the presence of the pregnant Mrs. Michaels had something to do with it.

I'm going to ask her if she wants to go home now that we can leave without appearing to be rude, but she isn't back from the bathroom yet.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, but it's too heavy for it to be Mac, who came up from a different direction.

"What happened to your lovely wife?" Vern asks as I turn to see that he's the one with his hand on my shoulder.

"Ladies room," I reply.

"Mine too, so that gives us a couple of minutes to talk shop without gettin', "It's a party. Quit talkin' 'bout work" from one of our wives. I wanted to ask you to keep me in the loop on that rape case. After questionin' that Sherman kid, neither one of us thought that he raped that girl, but the results of the DNA comparison of the semen from the victim and his DNA sample won't be ready for at least a week. I'd like to know if I was losin' my touch at the end or if we got this one right, too."

"Sure, Vern, I'll give you a call and let you know the results when I get them."

"Thanks, Harm."

"No problem. I'm going to miss working with you, Vern."

"Vern, you don't work there anymore, so you'd better not be talking shop," Mrs. O'Malley says while approaching with Mac just a step ahead of her.

"No, dear, I was just tellin' the boy to keep in touch," Vern replies, sounding very sincere.

My wife makes it to my side just a moment before Mrs. O'Malley steps up to her husband.

"I doubt that, but it's your party, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you'll come and dance with me."

"I'd be honored to dance with you, dear." He looks over his shoulder at me and winks, and I nod in response.

"He was talking shop, wasn't he?" Mac asks.

"Yes, he asked me to let him know how the case that we started last week turns out so that he doesn't feel like he left unfinished business behind."

"Would you dance with me?" Mac asks.

"I would, but wouldn't you prefer to leave?"

"No, I'd like to have an evening out with my husband doting on me."

"I just thought that, considering…"

She places the tips of her fingers over my lips. "I can't say that the very pregnant and glowing Mrs. Michaels didn't give me a moment of pause. I just looked at her and became afraid that our answer is going to be another no when I take the pregnancy test on Monday, but there are going to be expectant women around me everywhere I go. I need to learn to deal with this, and going home isn't a way to do that. Now, dance with me."

"It would be my pleasure," I say with a grin.

In my arms on the dance floor, she does seem to be happier and more relaxed.

With Ty spending the night with Grandma and Grandpa and Mattie out on a date with Paul, we don't have to be in a rush to get home tonight, so we take the opportunity to enjoy our date without worry.

After enjoying several dances together, we leave the party and head for the car. Her arm is looped around mine and, when I stop to open the passenger door for her, I see that she's smiling. I pull her into a brief kiss before stepping back to let her get into the car.

We've both had a good time tonight, but some time alone at home seems like a good idea, too. Cuddling together has become one of my favorite pastimes.


	128. Chapter 128

**PART FOUR **

**WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 31, 2007**

**RABB HOME**

**BETWEEN 1515 - 1700**

Just two days after Mac's negative pregnancy test last week, Mrs. Morales called Mac at her office to set up this evening's meeting.

As Mac sits quietly alone, her mind recalls the conversation.

********FLASHBACK*******

"Mrs. Morales, how are you this afternoon?" Mac said when she answered the call.

"Fine, thank you. I'm calling to tell you that, because I've already had some involvement with your family and, with the cooperation of Ms. LeMoine in Virginia to help me fill in some of the blanks in my paperwork, I've been able to push through your application a little faster than if you and your husband were adopting for the first time. Today, I was hoping to find out if you and your husband have discussed a preference regarding the gender or age of the child who you'd like to adopt."

"We have. We'd like a little girl about five or six years old," Mac started, nervously twisting the phone cord around her finger as she spoke.

"Any physical characteristics that are important to you, eye or hair color for example?"

"No preference," Mac replied.

"My next question is about timing. We have children in the system who are waiting for us to have their parents' rights terminated, and that adds to the amount of time required for the adoption to take place. So, would the extra time make a difference to you?"

"We're interested in adding to our family in a timely manner, so if there's a little girl who's ready for adoption, we'd prefer that, but we wouldn't want to rule out any child based solely on that because, when we find the right little girl, we'll wait for her as long as it takes."

"What if the child in whom you become interested has a sibling? Have you discussed whether you'd adopt more than one child if that situation presented itself?"

"No, we haven't thought about that, let alone discussed that possibility," Mac said, a little surprised by the question.

"I'd like to gather some information on a few little girls and meet with you and your husband next week. Are you free next Wednesday or Thursday evening?"

"Wednesday evening would be fine," Mac confirmed.

*******END FLASHBACK********

Mac had taken off a few hours early from work today to prepare her house for Mrs. Morales' visit this evening.

The truth was that the house didn't need more than a little straightening at most, but Mac was a ball of nerves and, with tomorrow being the day for egg harvesting, she was hormonal as well and couldn't keep her mind on her job. She needed to get out of the office.

Mac had called Frank to tell him that she was going to pick up Ty from school before heading home.

The stop at school alone had made her feel better. Ty was excited to see her and, when one of two boys with whom he was walking asked, "Your mom's a Marine?" Mac could see the pride in his eyes as he responded, "She sure is, and an important one, too. She's a colonel, and men have to salute her."

Once at home, the emotional high that Mac had felt at the school vanished quickly as she began to worry about Mrs. Morales' visit.

Ty went to start his homework, and Mac started to patrol the house for something to clean. She finally found a few newspapers on Harm's desk in the office. She didn't know if he hadn't finished reading them or if he was just stacking them up to make one trip to the recycle bin in the garage. The newspapers were neatly folded and stacked, but she felt that they made his desk look cluttered, and every room in their home needed to be clean and clutter-free for Mrs. Morales visit. Mac cleared off the newspapers and took them to the recycle bin.

Unknown to Mac, there wasn't anything in the newspaper that would have caught Harm's attention, but another rape mentioned in the police blotter that happened on Saturday night, the 27th was the third one with the same MO. However, the locations were varied and the different police precincts hadn't looked beyond their own area yet to discover their similarities.

Having cleaned something, even if it was only clearing away a few newspapers, Mac went to check on Ty and asked him to help her prepare dinner to surprise Harm by giving him the night off.

Ty eagerly agreed to help. He loved to spend time with either of his parents, though he thought that working with his dad was more fun. Ty also suspected that, if Miss Rosa had a little girl for his parents to adopt, she'd spend more time with his mom, and he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could until his sister arrived.

**RABB HOME**

**LIVING ROOM **

**MRS. MORALES VISIT**

Mrs. Morales started her visit by chatting with Mattie and Ty and, to Harm and Mac's surprise, before she'd finished speaking with them, she asked them how they'd feel about acquiring two sisters. Harm was surprised, not by the question, since Mac had asked him how he'd feel about adopting more than one child after Mac had spoken to Mrs. Morales last week, but Harm was taken aback by the fact that she'd asked Mattie and Ty before she'd asked Mac and him.

Mattie's response was to say that she'd be happy to go along with whatever Harm and Mac decided. Ty said that he hadn't thought about it, but after a brief pause, he added that, if both of them were girls, it'd be okay with him.

With Mattie and Ty dismissed, Mrs. Morales asked Harm and Mac the question about taking on more than one child.

Mac and Harm had discussed it, but they'd agreed that adding only one child would be best. The first consideration was Ty. Two girls would split their time three ways instead of two, and that might be a bigger adjustment than they wanted Ty to have to make since they were still hopeful that a baby might be in their future. The other concern was about the potential baby. Two girls would probably take twice as long to settle in, and the extra time might make a difference in whether IVF was still a viable option for them when they were ready to return to treatment.

Mrs. Morales didn't ask for details about how Harm and Mac had arrived at their decision when Mac simply answered her question with, "We've discussed it and believe that adopting just one child is best for everyone at this time."

Mrs. Morales looked disappointed as she spoke in response to her statement. "I understand. I appreciate the fact that you considered it." She paused and took a calming breath before she continued. "I took over a case of two little girls from their retiring case worker just a few weeks ago. When I met the girls, the two of you immediately popped into my head as the right parents for them, but I didn't know if you'd be interested. Then you called, and I ... I apologize if I seemed a little pushy on the subject, but the timing of your call had me thinking that my prayers had been answered." She paused again and took another breath, letting it out slowly as if she were giving up hope that Harm and Mac would want to adopt both girls. "I brought a few profiles to go over with you that fit what you told me that you were looking for, so let's go over them to see if you'd like to meet any of them."

Mrs. Morales removed a few pages from her notebook and lifted the corners of the pages until she found the one that she was looking for. She pulled it from the stack and placed it face down on the coffee table. Then she pulled four pictures from under the paperclips of each of the remaining four pages and placed them on the coffee table in front of Harm and Mac before she began to give them some background information on one of the four girls whose pictures were on the table.

After giving Harm and Mac the first profile, she paused before starting to give them the background information on the second child.

"This little girl turned six on January 7th. Breast cancer took her mother's life a little more than two years ago now. In March of last year, they lost their father to a sudden heart attack. He was only thirty-four years old. The heart condition could be inherited because the only surviving relative is his mother who's in a nursing home and too ill to care for her because of a heart condition. In September of last year, she was placed with a couple who seemed very interested in adopting her. However, the couple began to report problems with the girl's behavior. When her school also began to report problems with attendance and that she was in the nurse's office a lot, complaining that she wasn't feeling well, her case worker thought that it might be more than just the expected adjustment period and conducted several surprise visits to the home. During one such visit in October, about five weeks into the placement, bruises on her arms led to her immediate removal from the home. With no foster home available, she was placed in a group housing facility, what we called an orphanage in the old days."

Mrs. Morales went on to the next until she'd given Harm and Mac their ages and as much of the background of the four girls as she knew. After she'd finished with her overview of all four girls, Harm and Mac scanned the pictures of the girls for a few minutes.

As they scanned the pictures, looking at the faces of the four little girls, Mac's eye caught sight of the paper that was still turned face down on the corner of the coffee table.

"That page..." Mac pointed to the paper. "Is she the little girl who has a sister?"

"No, she's the little sister to one of the girls on the table." Mrs. Morales wondered if she should have told them, but it was the truth, and if these two were the kind of people who she thought they were, the information would matter to them.

That's when Harm let his curiosity get the better of him. "Why would you show us the child who has a sister, knowing that we want to adopt only one?"

"Mr. Rabb, I know that it seems harsh, but, sometimes, in order to get these children into good homes, we have to make the difficult decision to place siblings separately. These girls are still young, and if we can get them placed into loving homes soon, they stand a much better chance of adjusting and living happy lives, even if they are with two different families."

"Is the sister older or younger?" The question comes out of Harm's mouth before he can stop it.

"She's younger. She'll be three on July 12th of this year." Mrs. Morales answered with a lighter heart because she knew that they were thinking about the fact that separating the girls seemed wrong. After responding to their question, she let her answer sink in for a moment while she offered a silent prayer. 'I think that I'm right about this match and, Lord, if you think so, too, help me change their minds about taking only one child.'

Harm looked at Mac, and he could see that she felt the same way that he did about the possibility that they'd be splitting up sisters. They looked at Mrs. Morales, unsure of what they wanted to say.

"You don't have to decide tonight, and none of these girls may catch your eye as 'the one.' There's no rush. Why don't you two give it some thought and call me when you've had time to think about each of these girls? If none of them seem like a good fit, we can meet again next week, and I'll bring a few new profiles and pictures for you to consider."

Mrs. Morales reached out to scoop up the pictures, but Mac put out her hand to stop her. "Could you leave them out for just a moment longer?" Mac asked pleadingly.

"Harm, one of these pictures has the face of a little girl who I'd like to meet. Do any of them appeal to you?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," Harm answered. There's one who I'd like to meet, too.

The looks that the couple were exchanging told Mrs. Morales that she should give them a moment to talk. "Why don't I step outside to get some fresh air and let you two have a couple of minutes with the pictures before I leave this evening?"

"We'd appreciate that," Mac replied.

As soon as Mrs. Morales stepped away from them, Mac whispered to Harm. "First, let's each pick up the picture of the little girl who caught our eye."

Harm nodded in agreement and reached for the little brunette with brown eyes who looked like Mac to him. Their hands collided – they were reaching for the same picture.

"I think she looks like you," Harm said while Mac talked over him, saying, "She needs a dad like you."

Mac picked up the picture and brought it closer to them as they stared at it.

They didn't hear Mrs. Morales approaching from behind them, allowing her to hear the next part of their conversation.

"You know that we may not have picked the one with a sister," Harm offered.

"I know, but what if she does have one? I wouldn't want that to keep us from adopting her, but I'd never be able to tuck her in at night without wondering who was putting her sister to bed and if they love her as much we love our little girl."

"We have to ask. We need to know," Harm replied.

"I know." Mac waited a heartbeat before continuing. "If she does have a sister, we're going to have to really think and talk about this some more."

Mrs. Morales couldn't see the picture from where she was standing, but her curiosity was getting the better of her, so she decided that it was time to let them know that she was back in the room.

"Your back patio is very nice. I could've stayed out there all night, but I should be going. Do you have any questions for me while I get my things together?"

Mac turned the picture in her hand towards Mrs. Morales to show her the face of the little girl who they'd both like to meet. "Is she the one with a sister?" they asked in unison.


	129. Chapter 129

**PART FIVE **

**MONDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2007 **

**FERTILITY CLINIC **

**WAITING ROOM**

**HARM'S POV**

I doubt that Mac will get pregnant this month because she's so stressed. Her egg harvest procedure was the day after we spoke to Mrs. Morales, and she isn't any more relaxed today as she undergoes the egg transfer. One of the reasons for her state of distress is that, wouldn't you know it, the little girl who we wanted to meet is the one with the little sister, and both of us have been so torn about what to do that we haven't been able to sleep very well.

One way I can tell that her anxiety level is still high is that she usually wants me in the room during the egg transfer or at least she doesn't object to me being there, but, today, she threw me out.

Okay, she didn't exactly throw me out, but she asked me to step out to call Mrs. Morales while she underwent the egg transfer procedure because she'd had a busy morning and hadn't had time to make the call.

How did she put it? "I don't want us to wait another day since we made a decision over the weekend."

I wouldn't say that we made a decision.

Since Mrs. Morales left on Wednesday evening, we've had endless discussions of the pros and cons of adopting two children at once. Over the weekend, we talked to everyone who'd be affected by the adoption: specifically Ty, Mattie and my parents, especially Frank, who currently picks up Ty from school and keeps him for a couple of hours until Mac picks him up on her way home. The six-year-old would have the same school schedule as Ty, but her little sister would need full-day childcare. I remember Mac once saying that she wanted to retire after she got in her twenty, but I thought that was only if we had a baby because she didn't want to miss any of our child's firsts.

I'm still not convinced that adopting two little girls is a wise thing to do when we're still trying to have a baby of our own, as well as all the other things that we have to consider. However, with all the input that we got from the others over the weekend, we came to the conclusion before we went to bed last night that we couldn't make a decision without meeting them.

I've made the phone call, but Mrs. Morales' voice mail picked up. I left a message and I'm now pacing the waiting room, wondering if I want to go back in to face Mac when I didn't get to actually speak to Mrs. Morales.

I start back across the room when the headline 'SATURDAY NIGHT SERIAL RAPIST' on the page of a newspaper left on a chair catches my eye.

I pick up the newspaper and drop into the chair next to where it was laying to read the article:

'San Diego, CA –The first San Diego detective to arrive on the scene to investigate the rape of a Coronado woman on the night of February 3, 2007 saw similarities to another recent case. This led him to run a check through the County's multi-million dollar criminal data base for the same type of crimes in all of San Diego County.

In a statement issued by the San Diego Police Department this morning, the Chief of Police encouraged women to take extra care as they move about their daily lives after confirming that Saturday's attack in Coronado was the fourth attack by who they suspect is the same man. This is based on facts that they are unwilling to release at this time for fear of compromising their investigation.

According to police, the first sexual assault took place on January 6, 2007 in the Gaslamp Quarter. The second took place two weeks later on January 20th in Chula Vista. The following Saturday, a sexual assault took place in National City and the fourth attack linked to this same suspect is the one committed just this past Saturday in Coronado.

The detective who connected the cases said that a suspect in the first rape will be brought back in for questioning and that they have several other leads to follow at this time. They will release more information as it becomes available.

Since the location of the attacks have varied, it is impossible to know where the Saturday night rapist will strike next. Women are warned to be on the alert and to avoid being out alone, especially after dark.'

I received the DNA report on Friday. PO Sherman's DNA wasn't a match in the Betty Milton case. So, if they had another suspect who they were keeping back from Vern and me, I'm ticked, and if Detective Parker is planning to pull in PO Sherman to question him when the DNA evidence proves that he didn't commit the first rape, I'm angry.

I place a call to Detective Parker, but I get his voice mail.

I try to keep my emotions under control as I leave a message. I want him to call me back so I can give him an earful when he can't delete the message without hearing all of what I have to say.

**RABB HOME **

**LATER THAT DAY **

After I get Mac home and in bed, I try both Mrs. Morales and Detective Parker again, but I still get only their voice mails.

I've got Ty to pick up and dinner to make, so I don't have time to chase down Parker tonight, but I'll go to the station tomorrow and camp out if that's what it takes to talk to him.

**TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2007**

**SAN DIEGO COUNTY POLICE HQ**

**MID DAY **

I'd had to wait until the end of the morning meeting to speak to Landon, but once I'd shown him the newspaper article and told him about Vern and me speaking with PO Sherman and telling him about the DNA evidence that doesn't support Sherman being pulled in again for questioning, Landon asked, "Why are you still here talking to me when you have work to do? Don't let them railroad an innocent young man!"

I wasted no time in getting out of the building and on my way to police headquarters, but it's mid-day by the time I fight traffic to get over here.

As it turns out, my timing is impeccable. When I arrive, I'm told that Detective Parker just came in with a suspect and, if I'll wait a minute, he'll come out to see me.

I have to wait about twenty minutes, but Parker finally comes through the same door that he did the last time. "Hey, where's your old sidekick?" he asks with a smirk.

"Retired, but I'm sure if I called him and told him that you needed some help with the serial rapist cases that you've got on your hands, he'd be here as soon as he could get here through traffic."

"How did you know that I'm on the serial rape cases?" he asks.

"The article in the newspaper yesterday," I reply.

"Since my name wasn't mentioned in that story, I guess you've also figured out that we picked up PO Sherman just a few minutes ago for further question -"

"Which is a waste of time! Didn't you read the results of the DNA report before you sent me a copy? He isn't the guy!" I practically shout at him.

"Maybe not, but I'm convinced that he knows something because, when we brought him in this time, he immediately asked for a lawyer. We're waiting for one to show up so we can ask him his whereabouts for the last three Saturdays. Why don't I let you look at the files that you haven't seen and then we'll check to see if his lawyer's here so we can start asking him some questions?" he says and then turns towards his office.

**INTERROGATION ROOM **

**SAN DIEGO COUNTY POLICE HQ**

**ABOUT AN HOUR LATER **

Detective Parker and I walk into the interrogation room, and Carl Sherman jumps to his feet. "I'm glad to see you, sir. You called and told me that the DNA report cleared me, sir, so why do they want to talk to me now?"

"Petty Officer Sherman, you asked for a lawyer. I understand that they're on their way, so you need to wait for them before you speak to us," I explain.

"Captain Rabb, I didn't do it. I really like Betty. I wouldn't hurt her," the petty officer insists.

"Really, you need to wait for your lawyer," I caution him.

"If he wants to tell you something, Captain, you should let him get it off his chest," Parker says.

"He can say whatever he has to say when his lawyer arrives," I reply.

"Sir, I trust you," the petty officer continues.

"You don't understand, Petty Officer. I'm on the other side. I work for NCIS. Anything that you say to me could be used against you. You need to have someone who's free to defend you, and I can't do that and my job at the same time. It's a conflict of interest."

"Detective, I don't want to wait any longer for an attorney. I'll sign the waiver that you wanted me to sign earlier so that we can get this over with," the petty officer insists.

"Petty officer, I encourage you to wait for your lawyer." I caution to no avail.

Parker doesn't waste a moment after Sherman signs the waiver. "Where were you on Saturday night?" Parker asks first.

"At the Breakers Bar, sir."

"That's in Coronado?"

"Yes, sir, on Orange Avenue."

"And less than two miles from where a twenty-two year old woman was forced face down onto the concrete of the alley behind her apartment on her way home from jogging at a nearby park," Parker says.

"Where were you the Saturday before that?" Parker then asks

"I don't remember. I've been going out with my roommate and another friend of ours who bunks a couple of doors down from us and who works with me at PSD."

"What are their names? We're going to want to talk to them to verify your story."

"Petty Officer Third Class Warren Clark and Petty Officer Second Class Robert Logan."

"And you were with these guys all night and they can vouch for you?" Parker continues.

"No, not all night. Warren and I usually leave a place together, but not always, and Rob never stays with us very long. He says that he goes out so he can 'find a lucky woman...one loved by him', and he seems to get lucky every time we go out. He always comes back to the base very late, sometimes even the next day. Of course, we're never sure if it's because he spent the night with a girl or because he passed out somewhere."

He now has my undivided attention. The phrase that he mentioned is close to one that the first victim said that her attacker used. I start to flip through the other files to see if that's one of the similarities of the attacks as I listen to Parker continue with his questioning.

"I did some digging on you yesterday. You had a tough childhood. You had to spend some time in foster care after your father went to jail for raping a high school girl. I figure that you joined the Navy to get away from him."

"Yes, I did join to get away from him, sir."

"So this raping thing is something that he taught you to do for fun, isn't it?" Parker says.

The petty officer is angered by his question. "Sir, does it tell you in that file of yours that I was the one who called the police? I'm the one who sent him to jail because she was too upset to testify. Does it tell you that I came home from the park one afternoon and heard her crying and her muffled screams? Is it also in your file that she was so upset that she had to be taken from our home by ambulance? Because if it did, you'd know that I'd never do that to a woman!"

The door opens, and some young twit comes walking through the door. He turns out to be the lawyer who they'd called for the petty officer. I must be getting old because the guy looks like he's just out of high school, not law school.

"Don't say another word," he states to PO Sherman. "Gentlemen, I'd like a few minutes to confer with my client before you continue to question him."

"He signed a waiver to legal representation when Captain Rabb got here," Parker replies to remove any suspicion that he was breaking the rules. "You were saying, PO Sherman?"

"Captain..." the petty officer says to get my attention.

I've been writing a few key words on my note pad from the statements that I've been checking, but his addressing me directly causes me to focus on him as he speaks.

"My life was good until I was ten and my mother died. Over the course of the next couple of years, my father went nuts, I'd guess you'd say. Maybe he always was, but my mother kept him in check. Anyway, when I was thirteen, he started inviting me into his room to watch porn before I went to sleep...if he didn't have a woman over. He didn't touch me or anything like that, but it wasn't 'normal.' You know what I mean. When I was fourteen, he'd leave the door open when he had a woman over and, if I walked by, he'd yell something to the effect of 'come in so you can see up close how to do it.' Once he told me that, if I came in, I could take a turn after him. I went to my room. A few months later on my fifteenth birthday, he took me to town and bought me a hooker, and when I didn't want to do it, he said that I must like boys then and smacked me around a little until I told him that I liked girls and went with her. When I came out, he asked her, 'Is my boy a man now?' She said yes, and we went home. He said that I'd become a man that night, but I didn't feel like one. It was only weeks after that when I came home and found him raping that girl. I know how it feels to be forced to have sex when you don't want to or you aren't ready, and I'd never do that to anyone, sir. I worked hard to overcome my past, sir. Please don't let them blame me for this, sir, please," he begs.

His demeanor, along with the hunch that I had before he spoke, tells me that he's being truthful, but I'd like to ask a couple of questions to be sure that I'm on the right track.

"Petty Officer, you said 'Rob'. Is that what you call Petty Officer Robert Logan?" I ask.

"That's correct, sir."

"You say that he always drinks when the three of you go out?" I ask.

"Yes, sir, beer usually, and lots of it."

"Enough to get drunk, drunk enough that you sometimes wonder if he's been with a woman like he says or passed out?" I write two words under the two lines that I've already written on my notepad and push the pad over so that Detective Parker can read it.

"Yes, sir, he smells like he fell in a vat of the stuff, but, oddly, I've never heard him talk drunk, you know, slur his words. I think that's kind of strange, sir. Don't you?"

I see Detective Parker reading the words that I've written on my legal pad:

'All Statements have some reference to the attacker smelling of alcohol.'

'All say he said ..'Lucky he loved them.'

'IT'S LOGAN!'

"Yes, I think it _is_ kind of strange," I say in response to his question.

"I think we're done here for now. You've given us a few things to follow up on, Sherman. I'll have someone drive you back to the base. We'll be in touch," Parker says.

**PARKING LOT **

**SAN DIEGO COUNTY POLICE HQ**

**1645**

I make it all the way to my car before I finally remember to turn on my cellphone.

As soon as the electronic device powers up, it comes to life, beeping that I have messages.

I press the button to access my voice mail and, when the little electronic voice tells me that I have five messages, I wonder why they didn't call the station if it was important, since my office knew where I was.

The first message isn't the office, it's Mac. "Harm, call me as soon as you can. I have something to tell you."

The second message is from Mac, too. "Harm, I don't want to call your office because what I need to ask you regards a personal matter."

The third is also Mac. "You'll be gone the weekend after next for your quals, right? I need to confirm that, so call me as soon as you can."

The fourth is Mac again. "I broke down and called your office because I remembered that your phone doesn't get reception in the building. They said that you were out, probably all day, so I thought I'd leave you this message to tell you that I spoke to Mrs. Morales this morning. We can meet the girls this weekend."

The fifth, yep, it's Mac. "I hope that it's going to be okay with you. Mrs. Morales wanted to confirm that Saturday would be a good day for us. I told her to go ahead and set it up. I hope that you don't have to work too late. Bye, I love you."

I terminate the connection with my voice mail and dial my wife's cellphone number to tell her that, yes, my quals are a week from Saturday, so this weekend is fine for us to meet the girls and that she should order a pizza for dinner because I'm just now getting away from the police station.


	130. Chapter 130

**PART SIX **

**FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2007**

**RABB HOME**

**DEN**

**2235**

**HARM'S POV **

Again tonight, the fourth night in a row, I've waited until Ty is tucked into bed before entering our home office to get some work done.

Before I head to bed, I want to write the report that wraps up the case against Petty Officer Logan for the four rapes that, after the past three days of investigation, it's clear that he committed.

I'd like to get this case off my mind before our big day tomorrow when we meet the girls for the first time.

I take a moment to review my notes to make sure that I correctly remember the order of events in the investigation.

My direct involvement with the four rape cases began because of a newspaper article that I read on Monday. After confronting Detective Parker about his insistence that PO Sherman was involved even after the DNA results confirmed that he hadn't committed the rape itself, I was sitting in on another interview that Detective Parker had with PO Sherman when I came up with a suspect of my own and became directly involved in the investigation to test my theory.

Unfortunately, gathering reports and chasing leads by day had me spending my nights in our home office, completing my regular office work.

The first step was to learn what we could about PO Logan. What we found was that PO Sherman and PO Logan have similar childhood stories, but with some major differences. For instance, Sherman's mother had died, and Logan's mother had left him with his father when he was three, never to be seen again.

During my next step, which had been to review the victims' statements, I stumbled across what turned out to be a connection between the victims that also linked them to the suspect. Victim number one is a Navy petty officer. Victim number two is a full-time student at SDSU and a dependent of a military officer stationed in Hawaii. Victims three and four are dependent wives of deployed military men.

After getting in touch with the victims, we were able to confirm that each of them had visited PSD at North Island in the week prior to their attack.

Betty Milton had said during our telephone interview that she'd gone to PSD to clear up an error in her pay. PO Logan, being a PN (personnel man), wouldn't have waited on PO Milton. She would've spoken to a DK (dispersing clerk). However, after finding out that the other three victims had been there to get an ID card, which would have been among PO Logan's duties, I knew that I had the right man.

The last three victims had all been attacked in or near their residence. A home address is on the form required to get a new ID card, as well as the current duty station of the sponsor and his or her social security number. A clerk at PSD could use the latter information to obtain the status of the sponsor, such as whether they were deployed or not. So, it would be easy to tie Logan to the last three victims if PSD records showed that he'd assisted each of the women in renewing their ID cards. However, to charge him with the rape of PO Milton, I needed evidence to link PO Logan to PO Milton, and, hopefully, something other than that they'd been in the same building at the same time.

A face-to-face interview with PO Milton gave me my link. When I showed Betty Milton a picture of PO Logan, not only did she identify PO Logan as the man to whom she'd spoken in the parking lot moments before her attack, but the picture apparently triggered her memory, because she recalled more about him.

"That's why he looked so familiar to me that night. I'd seen him earlier that week. I was waiting to see a DK, and he walked past me and said, 'If you think the line is long today, don't come in on a Monday or a Friday, and don't get me started on what it looks like in here on the first and fifteenth.' I laughed and replied, 'I wouldn't wait in line except that I'm going to a party this weekend and I need to make sure that I have money for my own drinks because it's one of those parties for singles, and I always end up buying my own drinks at those things.' We talked for a few more minutes about different things. I remember that we got back on the subject of the party, and he asked if was an open or a private party somewhere. Oh, god, I told him where I was going to be that Saturday night. I thought that he was just flirting and being nice." She was in tears by the end of our conversation, but not the debilitating sobs like before.

After completing interviews with all the victims, Parker updated his captain before we spent time mapping out a direction for our investigation.

We'd just finished reviewing our progress and making a game plan that started at PSD, where we intended to check the records to see if PO Logan had assisted each of the women, and were about to break for the day when Parker's captain approached as my cellphone started to ring.

Parker was being informed of the same thing that I was being informed by Landon's secretary. The San Diego County District Attorney's office, having received an update from Parker's captain concerning the victims' probable connection to the Navy and that the suspect was also Navy, had turned the case over to us. Therefore, Parker's role in the case had ended. It now was an NCIS case. More precisely, since I was already involved in this case, it's was now _my_ case to finish.

Just before 1630 today, PO Robert Logan was arrested and charged with the rapes of all four women. We know that the DNA of the rapist that was obtained from all four victims matches, but the comparison DNA results with Logan's will take a week to get back. However, with the victims' identification of him, I'm sure that the results will confirm the other evidence that I've put together, making a solid case against Logan.

A knock on the den door causes me to look up. "Hey," I say to the face peering at me from around the door.

"Hey, yourself. Are you coming to bed late again tonight?" Mac asks.

"I shouldn't be more than another twenty minutes. I've almost finished this report."

"Okay, then I'll let you wrap it up." As soon as she gets her answer and acknowledges my response, her face disappears and the door clicks shut again.

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**SEVENTEEN MINUTES LATER **

I walk into our bedroom to find Mac pacing, and I know that it's because she's anxious about the meeting tomorrow. No wonder she stuck her head into the office to see how long I'd be. She wanted me to come to bed, but she didn't want to interfere with my work.

When she sees me, the smile that she offers is forced, but when I reach out and wrap my arms around her, I feel her weight come to rest against me as if she's collapsing.

I place a kiss on the top of her head before she softly utters, "I'm glad that you came to bed earlier tonight."

I don't say a word as I pull back and lower my head to give her a kiss of support and understanding, but, to my surprise, when I begin to pull back from the gentle kiss, she places her hands on my head and pulls me into another much more loving and passionate kiss. She pulls away and looks up at me with such sadness in her eyes, leaving me confused until she speaks.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's too soon after…" Her voice cracks with the threat of tears.

I pull her to me and hold her a little tighter, knowing that the rest of her sentence would have been "…after the egg transfer." She wants to finish what she started with that kiss, but the timing isn't right.

I wonder how much our missed opportunities at lovemaking will play into each of our views of adopting one or both of the girls tomorrow.

I must admit that, for me, times like these when we both crave physical contact with the other, whether it's for comfort, support or merely to express the love that we feel for each other, it's hard for me not to suggest that we stop trying to have a baby by in vitro. Tonight, I know that, if Mac didn't know that feeling before, she knows the feeling now.

"Let's try to get some sleep." She looks up at me, and I offer her an understanding smile. I don't want her to misunderstand, so I add, "Not that I wouldn't like to be doing something else, but just holding you will help me relax and get to sleep."

The corners of her mouth turn up in an attempt to smile, but I think that it's one more of relief than anything else. She knows that I want this in vitro to work just as much as she does, and she knows that I want her just as much as she just indicated that she wants me, so it's okay that we can't be intimate right now.

When we get under the covers, she rolls over, nestles herself along my side and rests her cheek on my chest as my arms encircle her.

After a few moments, her breathing is more even, and I can tell from the increased pressure of her weight against me that some of the tension has left her body, though I'm sure that she isn't relaxed enough to be asleep yet, but with any luck, we'll both be asleep soon.


	131. Chapter 131

**PART SEVEN **

**SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2007**

**RABB HOME**

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**EARLY MORNING**

**HARM'S POV**

I finally dozed off, but I can't say that it was a restful sleep, and the female form noticeably missing from my arms has caused me to waken.

I lift my still heavy eyelids to see if Mac has merely moved to seek out a new position in which to sleep, but when my eyes open, she isn't in bed.

A quick scan of the room reveals nothing.

I look to the bathroom door, and it's open and no light is on, so she isn't in there either.

I throw back the covers, get to my feet and head to the bathroom for a shower to wake up.

I don't often skip a morning run, but today, I just don't have it in me.

As the water runs over my head and down my body, I decide that it's a good thing that I didn't run this morning. Depending on how this meeting goes with the girls, I may need a good run to clear my head later today.

After a quick shower, I'm more awake and, after pulling on a pair of jeans, I go in search of Mac. Shaving and a shirt can wait a little while.

**KITCHEN**

**A FEW MINUTES LATER**

"What are you doing?" I ask. Mac must have been really focused on opening and closing cabinets, because my voice startles her.

She turns to look at me. "I'm making a detailed grocery list. Did you know that we were low on crackers?" She doesn't wait for a response from me and keeps talking. "I thought that you and I could go grocery shopping after we meet the girls."

"You think that you'll be able to sneak junk food into the cart while I'm not looking, don't you?" I say in a teasing tone.

"Yes…no…maybe..." She heaves a big sigh.

"Meaning it depends on how the meeting goes?" I ask, becoming serious.

"What makes you say that?" She looks at me questioningly.

"Well, you usually eat something from the salty snacks category like chips or crackers when you're nervous or anxious. You snack on something sugary like cookies when you're depressed or upset and, when it's that time of the month, you crave anything chocolate."

"You've been paying that much attention to my eating habits since we've started living together?" she asks in disbelief.

I give her a cocky grin before answering. "No, since I met you, I've tried to learn everything that I could about you."

"Why?" she asks as if she doesn't believe me.

"I was trying to figure out how you could make me feel like I'd been on a roller coaster ride over the course of a day."

"Did you ever come to a conclusion about that?" she asks skeptically, like she might not want to hear the answer.

"I sure did." I move closer to her.

"What was your conclusion?" Now she sounds annoyed.

"Well, since we were friends, I knew that I liked you, but the more I studied you and the more I learned about you, the more I realized that you caused me to feel that way because I _more_ than liked you. I was crazy in love with you."

She smiles brightly. "I think that your study really paid off because you always seem to know what I need...and, for the record, you had the same affect on me for the same reason." She places a kiss on my cheek.

"Someday you'll have to tell me when you first realized that you were in love with me," I say.

"Only if you first tell me when you knew that you were in love with me," she counters.

"One of these days, you'll get me to confess," I say with my patented grin.

The atmosphere is light and fun, and I'm feeling better about today. I don't want to screw up the mood by asking her how much sleep she got. I'll bet that she didn't get much because she looks tired, so I opt to talk about the other guy in her life.

"Have you cleared riding shotgun to the grocery store with my regular sidekick?"

"No, but I don't think that he'll mind, do you?"

"He might. The new gal behind the bakery counter has practically chased him down to give him a free cookie since she started working there."

"Sounds like I definitely need to go to the grocery store today then. I need to check out this woman who's after my son."

Mac and I work on the grocery list before enjoying a cup of coffee while talking about Mattie's most recent questions about love and relationships, giving us some time to speculate on her relationship with Paul and where it's headed, the options ranging from break-up to marriage.

Thank god we'd finished the conversation about her love life and were discussing what to fix for breakfast when Mattie enters the kitchen, inquiring about what's being served for breakfast this morning.

"Well, we've narrowed it down to pancakes or oatmeal," I inform her.

With a mumbled reply of, "Pancakes," it's time for me to get to work on breakfast. I usually cook breakfast on Saturday, and Mac cooks on Sunday mornings.

**RABB SUV **

**NEAR THE HOUSING FACILITY**

Mac has been nervously fiddling with her hands in her lap for most of the ride here and mostly in silence.

About halfway here, she did ask if I thought that Mrs. Morales was right about having only the two of us meet the girls first and then bringing in Tyler and Mattie at a later time if we decided to pursue this. After I answered that I thought that Mrs. Morales had been doing this for a while, so I was sure that she knew what was best in this situation, the car fell silent again.

Of course, I think that I like nervous and quiet Mac better than the irked version that I saw after breakfast.

Mac was reminding Ty that we were going out this morning to meet the little girls who Miss Rosa had told us about. She also reminded him that, because of our meeting, he was going with Mattie to the art gallery to stay with her until Grandpa finished his golf game, and then Grandpa would pick him up. It was when Mac asked Ty if he minded if she accompanied me to the grocery store in his place that set the scene for Mac to become irritated.

"I want you to come and get me so all of us can go to the grocery store. I want to see the look on the cookie lady's face when she sees you, Momma," Ty responded openly, and then he moved closer to her like he was telling her a secret, but he didn't whisper, and I could hear him. "I think the new cookie lady likes Dad. She goes out of her way to give me a cookie so she can talk to him."

So if Mac didn't have enough on her plate, her son had just told her that the bakery girl has a thing for her husband. When did seven-year-olds get so tuned in to a woman flirting? I knew better than to say a word. I knew the look that came over her face, which was another thing that I'd learned from studying her. She wasn't in the mood to hear anything from me on the subject at that point. A moment later, Mac was telling me that there'd been a change in plans. We're going to pick up Ty after the meeting, and all three of us are going to go grocery shopping.

Though I know that the kind of meeting that we're having this morning is the kind that changes people's lives, I'm able to keep my emotions behind a barrier until I make the turn into the parking lot and nervously start to look for a place to park our car.

**SAN ****DIEGO COUNTY HOUSING ****FACILITY**

**VISITING LOUNGE**

Mrs. Morales was waiting for us in the lobby when we arrived. She gave us a brief tour of the facility before showing us into this room where we talked for a few minutes before she left to get the girls.

Mac sits while I pace until Mrs. Morales returns, making her way over to us. She's followed by two little girls with dark brown hair.

The older girl's hair is done up in a pony tail, and it appears to be long and rather straight. The younger girl's hair is shorter and has more curl to it.

"Girls, this is the couple who I told you about, the ones who want to meet you. Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, this is Abigail Grace and Samantha Anne, but we call her Sami. Girls, do you want to tell them how old you are?"

Abigail, the older one, looks from Mac to me with the saddest big brown eyes that I've ever seen, aside from Mac's when she's unhappy. Finally, after seeming to gather her courage, she very softly says, "I'm six."

Sami, the younger girl, keeps looking up at me until she practically falls over backward, trying to look me in the eye. I squat down to be closer to her level and ask, "How old are you?"

Sami looks at me with deeper set gray/green eyes and, using her other hand to help her, holds up two fingers. Then she giggles and runs to hide behind Mrs. Morales, peeking around her to look at me again. "You big," she says before ducking back behind Mrs. Morales.

A moment later, Sami peers around Mrs. Morales a second time, and I respond, "I'm not big. You're little." She giggles again, but this time she doesn't duck behind Mrs. Morales, opting to keep her eyes on me.

The sound of Abigail speaking causes me to turn my attention to her. "You're very pretty," she says while staring at Mac.

"Thank you. I think you're very pretty, too."

Mac gets a nice smile from the young girl, but her eyes don't register any happiness.

"Can you tell me what your favorite subject is in school or what you like to do after school?" Mac asks the older girl.

"I like math and science, and I like art a lot," Abigail answers.

With my attention on Abigail and Mac, I haven't noticed that Sami has come out from behind Mrs. Morales to get closer to me until she speaks. "I like to color."

I turn my head towards the voice and find that she's standing a couple of steps in front of me.

"You do?" I ask her.

She shyly nods yes in response.

"Why don't we all have a seat and talk for a few minutes?" Mrs. Morales suggests.

Abigail is quiet, and we can tell that she's protective of her little sister because, when we all sit down, she sits next to Sami and takes her hand. Abigail is guarded and appears untrusting. She speaks to me, but only when I ask her a direct question, and she has trouble looking me in the eye, casting me furtive glances from time to time, almost as if she's afraid of me.

It's sad to know that a girl so young has known enough pain that she lacks the carefree attitude that a child her age should have.

Samantha or Sami is more talkative and surprisingly articulate for her age. Being a little more than a year old when she lost her mother, she seems to be unaware that she once had parents and didn't live in the dorm style quarters in which she and her sister now live. By all accounts, she wasn't hit by their potential father, so it seems that she was spared that lesson of the harsh, real world. Sami reminds me of Ty in that she's energetic and inquisitive.

When Mrs. Morales chats with us after the girls have left, she supplies the information that Abigail's abuser in the prospective adoptive home was the father, so it's to be expected that she'd be more comfortable with Mac than with me.

Before our visit is over, I think that we've learned a lot about the two little girls for having no more than a twenty minute visit with them and a ten minute talk with Mrs. Morales afterwards.

However, the visit leaves our hearts heavy with the sadness of their situation and wondering what we should do. Would adopting these girls be what's best for them as well as for us?

**IN ROUTE TO PICK UP TY**

We've traveled in silence for almost three miles. It isn't that I don't want to talk. It's just that I don't know what to say.

It's Mac who finds the words first.

"The pictures don't do either one of them justice. They're both adorable. How anyone could hit either of them, I'll never understand." She takes a deep breath. "I know only one thing for sure after meeting them. We have to adopt both of them or neither of them."

"Agreed," I reply, which is the only word that I can get out at the moment.

I feel Mac's hand on my shoulder. "Harm, I want them, but, at the same time, I don't. I can't get the sadness of the older one's eyes out of my mind. Do you think that we can help them to overcome the past by adopting them or is there someone better qualified for the job than us?"

"I think what we told Mrs. Morales when we left the home is the truth. We don't want to enter into a commitment like this lightly, and we need to think about it and talk it over some more. Mac, based on just meeting the girls, I want them too, but we have to look past the sad eyes and the cute faces and think of what impact adding them to our family will have on us and, more importantly, on Tyler."

"I know. Let's go get Tyler and take him to lunch. I feel the need to split a chocolate shake with him before I go straighten out the new bakery girl who's been eyeing my men."

I roll my eyes. "You know that she doesn't stand a chance with me."

"I know. I just want to make sure that _she_ knows it." She's smiling.

I love her smile and wish that I'd see it more often these days. "After lunch, why don't we go play some miniature golf or go to the video arcade at the mall? We can hit the grocery store on the way home. What do you say?"

"I think a little fun time with my guys is just what I need right now." She smiles. "You aren't trying to keep me away from the grocery store, are you?"

"No," I say defensively before I hear her laugh. She was teasing me, and I didn't pick up on it. It's okay, though, because hearing her laugh is even better than seeing her smile. The three of us are going to have a great time this afternoon.

**RABB HOME**

**MASTER BEDROOM**

**BEDTIME **

I've made myself comfortable on the bed while waiting for Mac to come into the bedroom.

She went to check on Ty one last time before we turn in for the night. The final check is something that Mac hasn't been doing much these last few weeks, but today's visit with the girls has stirred some maternal feelings that have her fussing over him again like she did when he first arrived.

Mac finally enters the bedroom. "You know, with the past that Ty had, who would have thought that he'd have adjusted so quickly, not only to new parents, but to a new home and a new school in a new city? I love him so much. He hasn't lived with us for even a year yet, but I already can't imagine our family without him."

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way." I pause while I study the expression on her face. "You've already decided, haven't you? You want us to adopt them."

"My first inclination after meeting them was to adopt them, but after taking some time to think about it, I don't know. There are so many things to consider. For one thing, how do you think that Tyler would adjust to having two little sisters? Then there's the expense of daycare for Sami. If I were ready to retire, it would be a lot easier, but it wouldn't be fair to Frank to have him take on that responsibility full-time. He wouldn't be adopting them. We would be."

She moves towards the bed as she continues. "With the damage that the prospective father did to Abigail by hitting her, settling her in to where she's comfortable with you may take longer than I have to still be able to return to trying to become pregnant with in vitro. On the other hand, is in vitro going to work or are we just wasting our time and money?"

She slips into bed without interrupting her current thoughts. "When I went to that support group meeting, I heard stories of women who'd tried for - not months like we have - but years before it happened. I don't have years! In the research that you gathered when I first told you about my condition and when we started talking last year about trying to have a baby, I read that it isn't unusual for endometriosis to return in a few years. That means that every month that passes, I'm closer to losing the chance of ever having a baby of my own. In fact, some doctors might say that I'm already on borrowed time."

She sighs as she settles in next to me, and my arm automatically goes around her. "But I hate the thought of giving up on having our baby as much as I hate the thought that those two wonderful little girls won't find a home, or at least not one together where they'll feel safe and loved ... a home that I know that we can give them." She finally takes a moment to breathe, but it's only a moment before she speaks again. "Do you have any thoughts?"

"I think you've covered at least my initial thoughts," I respond. She turns to settle her cheek against my chest. "So, what do we do now? Do you want to discuss this anymore tonight?" I ask.

"I think that our minds need to take it all in. Right now, I think that we need to sleep on it and have our usual family day tomorrow. I believe that we answered Ty and Mattie's questions about the girls as best we could. They both really seemed to want to meet the girls. When we have dinner with your parents tomorrow, I'm sure that they'll have all kinds of questions about the girls and what we're going to do. Tomorrow night before we go to bed, we'll have had time to think the situation through more rationally without having their faces so fresh in our minds. We can talk about any new problems that have come to mind and review where we stand, having had some time to think with less emotion and more objectivity. We need to be certain that we have the emotional strength and family support to adopt both girls and that it's the best thing to do for everyone involved."

"I think that's an excellent plan," I say as I pull her in close to me, and we assume a position in which we often fall asleep.

**Remember that this isn't the end of the saga. The series continues in Fate Decides Our Future, Volume II. **


End file.
